It's all in the name…
by werks
Summary: S2-02: This is the follow-up piece to "Water Under the Bridge" in my second-track series. This one tackles some of the issues they faced in "Home Sweet Home" but adds a few different twists. A tragedy on the job has Jamie rethinking whether the Reagan name is a blessing or a curse and Eddie struggles to keep her newfound family together.
1. Chapter 1

_This is the follow-up piece to "Water Under the Bridge" in my second-track series that explores what might have happened to our favorite Jamko pair had things turned out a little differently in the original opener "He lets me call him Frank now". Under the guise of chaos theory where our little friend the butterfly flapped its wings in a different manner to disrupt the ensuing hurricane, this one tackles some of the issues they faced in "Home Sweet Home" but adds a few different twists including wedding planning with the help of Eddie's mother and the fact that Kaylin is already front and center in their lives. This has turned out to be a little more edgy and sometimes darker on the whole than I intended as circumstances dictate that many of the characters are dealing with outside stressors in their lives at this point in time. A tragedy on the job has Jamie rethinking whether the Reagan name is a blessing or a curse and Eddie struggles to keep her newfound family together. Hang on, this is the longest story in either series yet!_

 _You can find the lists for both series in my profile since it helps to read them in order, and as always I own nothing, CBS has all the rights to Blue Bloods, I just take their characters out for a spin for fun! Special thanks to lawslave as always for offering to be an invaluable sounding board for ideas and suggestions as these stories are constructed. Without her collaboration this might have gone a totally different way!_

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Chapter 1

"Jamison, I've looked _everywhere_ and I cannot find my shoes!" Edit Janko repeated in desperation for the third time as she frantically searched through their cluttered bedroom just before six o'clock on a Saturday morning in mid-May before bumping into an unexpected stack of boxes sitting near the closet in the darkened space and toppling them over with a loud clatter as pots and pans scattered across the floor. "Oh, holy crap! Sorry about that!" she hissed in a whisper as he irritably rolled over and groaned while pulling a pillow over his face and holding it down with the crook of his arm. Today was his only scheduled day off this week and he had planned to take full advantage of it by sleeping in as late as possible... that was until a small feverish voice cried out from the spare bedroom down the hall as Kaylin was also awakened by the sudden loud noise.

"Terrific," came a muffled annoyed utterance. "It's not as if she wasn't up half the night coughing already," he groaned as his other hand came to a rest lower while adding, "not to mention my stomach has been rolling for hours."

"Well, maybe you're pregnant," she quipped as an automatic reflex before adding a cheeky, "have you been careful lately?" but failed to follow up with an equally deft move physically as he was able to whip the pillow with such well-aimed precision as to nail her solidly in the face before she could defend herself. It was a poor joke to make at this time and she knew it... the last thing they needed right now was to add to the chaos of their lives by tacking on another big unexpected responsibility.

Eddie sighed as she tossed the bedding back and glanced over at her irascible boyfriend… well, fiancé if one wanted to be technically accurate since they had been officialy engaged on New Year's Eve and were due to be married in the middle of September, only four short months away. She sympathized with him of course, knowing full well how draining multiple extended tours were, especially for the ranking officers at a precinct who were expected to cover any staffing shortages themselves if necessary. There had been some type of virus plaguing the 3-5 for the last few weeks so everyone who remained healthy had been called in for several extra shifts. She knew Jamie was tired and needed his rest; he had been worn out lately filling in for Lieutenant Carson who had been one of the first to fall rather severely ill, and now Kaylin appeared to have come down with the same thing from the shared germs at the daycare utilized by many of the officers. Eddie wished she could slip into Jamie's sergeant's uniform and take a few tours for him but that was not possible, especially given the fact that she had splurged on requisitioning some personal days herself and was supposed to be on her way to the airport at that very moment to pick up her mother, Eva Janko, who was coming in from Rochester for several days of appointments to finalize some of the details for the wedding.

"I'm so sorry, babe," she apologized softly while trying unsuccessfully to pick up the spilled cookware quietly without further crossing him. At least the current cluttered state of the little two-bedroom apartment meant that her mother would be staying at a hotel during her visit, which was an obvious blessing given her often contentious tendencies and Jamie's current state of mind. In addition to the stress at work, his neat freak predilection was being strained to the breaking point by the fact that Eddie's tenancy was up in just a couple of days and she had been forced to box up and move the majority of her things here as there had been no time lately for either of them to so much as find an available storage unit let alone look for a new place to live. Despite an over abundance of advice offered by every other member of the Reagan family, a suitable home within their budget had not been found and the only apparent compromise was to go to a month-to-month lease crammed together here while they kept searching.

"And I still can't find my shoes," she sighed as she piled the boxes back on top of one another.

"Maybe you left them at your place," Jamie offered flatly with little forethought as he sat up and swung his legs over the bed before pulling on a pair of sweatpants to get up and go tend to Kaylin. Given the sound of that deep cough she started with overnight it looked as if they'd be on the way to the pediatrician's office shortly anyway. A number of officers at the 3-5 had come down with severe respiratory reactions after their exposure and Jamie wasn't going to take any chances with his daughter given his own experience from nearly a year ago when he'd spent a week in the hospital and another month recovering from pneumonia.

"Reagan, I think I would have noticed if I came here from work last night in my bare feet!" she groused as she followed him out into the hallway like an anxious puppy yipping at his heels. "I'm gonna be late to pick up Mom if I don't leave soon!"

"You must have more than a hundred other pairs packed away here somewhere," he muttered tiredly as he walked past another tall stack of containers in the hall before turning into Kaylin's dimly lit room where he promptly tripped over the missing footwear; Eddie had kicked them off in there after coming home from a second shift tour and rocking the little girl to sleep as she fussed the night before. "Here you go," he sighed as he tossed them back out of the doorway before picking up the crying toddler and lifting her to his shoulder to soothe her. "Damn, she feels like she's burning up, Ed," he worried as he rushed back to their bathroom with her to retrieve the thermometer... now on high alert and fully awake. "She's at 102.2," he confirmed a few seconds later with a distressed frown as he kissed Kaylin's warm sweaty forehead while she sat dejectedly on the edge of the sink after he took her temperature. "Does it sound as if she's wheezing to you?!" he asked Eddie in a barely contained panic. Jamison Reagan might project his top-cop family's typical ice-water-in-the-veins bearing during almost any crisis at work, but a single sniffle from his beloved adopted two-year-old daughter was enough to crack his tough-man exterior under any circumstance, and Kaylin was clearly more than slightly ill at the moment.

Not to be outdone, Eddie offered only an "Oh no, my poor sweetie!" as she pushed her way unceremoniously past him and snatched the tiny little girl up out of his arms before turning to carry her into the kitchen; her mother's incoming flight promptly forgotten. He pursed his lips knowing he wasn't the only one likely to overreact immediately although his blond-haired counterpart remained a little more level-headed about the matter after taking a few seconds to assess.

"I think she's just a little stuffed up, Jamie," she tried to hearten as she took a closer look at the child after switching on the lights while she rooted around in the top cupboard for the children's ibuprofen. Eddie's much touted D1 football-playing frat boy metabolism had another interesting aspect to it… she appeared to be virtually immune to these viral outbreaks and rarely took ill with them.

"Are you sure?" he pestered as he followed her out. "Addie said she might have a slight case of asthma after it took her so long to get over her cough the last time."

Eddie tried to stifle a small ripple of annoyance at the mention of Addison Greene, a onetime, short-lived romantic rival of hers who had remained on good terms with Jamie after dating him briefly the summer before while he was recovering from his illness… Addie just happened to be a close Reagan family friend and a respiratory therapist at the local hospital.

"Well of course I don't know for sure, _I'm_ not a medical professional, but we need to get her to take some medicine for the fever and make sure she's hydrated," she reminded as she located the bottle from which Kaylin promptly turned and hid her face. The little girl hated taking any such thing, and it usually resulted in quite the prolonged battle to get her to comply. "C'mon baby," Eddie cajoled as she shifted her to the other hip while drawing out the right amount of the dreaded strong-tasting mixture into the dropper. "We'll get you a special yummy strawberry swirly popsicle out of the freezer as soon as you take this," she pleaded, not afraid to go straight to the bribery route with one of the child's favorite treats.

" _We_ won't get her anything," Jamie corrected as he returned the favor and took the toddler out of her hands. " _I'll_ give her this and get her a pop while you get on your way to the airport. I'm not having you miss your mother's flight, Edit Janko, otherwise I won't hear the end of it all week, if ever..." he vowed before Kaylin promptly turned and sneezed directly in his face which just elicited a heavy sigh from her father as he rolled his eyes to heaven. He was doomed now, and he knew it. She had to be at the most possible contagious point of her sickness and no amount of soap or hand sanitizer was going to save him after that unless it was offered via immediate IV. On top of everything else, and despite being nearly every other mother's dream potential son-in-law, Jamie had received nothing but a cold shoulder from the older Janko woman since their first meeting when he and Eddie had travelled north to announce their engagement after returning from their trip to California. He had been dreading this extended visit from her for months. It was truly shaping up to be the week from hell as if the last few had been picnics while he had virtually willed himself not to get sick as officers from his platoon had been dropping around him like flies. At least Lieutenant Carson was due to return on Monday after recovering from a near bout of walking pneumonia himself so Jamie would be pulling fewer double shifts.

"I can call when she lands and have her take a cab to the hotel," Eddie argued as he grabbed a wet paper towel and went through the motions of trying to rid himself of the super germs anyway. "She'll understand," she added as he paused and raised an eyebrow at her. "Well she'll cope with it anyway," she muttered before making a last ditch plea. "Jamie, you need to get some rest today or it's gonna be a table for two at the doctor's office all week," she worried.

"Three," he corrected after a glance at the message that popped up on his phone which had just vibrated while lying on the counter. "Dad says that Pop isn't feeling good now either. He's thinking it might be a better idea if he makes a reservation somewhere for dinner tomorrow instead of having it at home since your mom's supposed to be joining us. Want's to know what kind of food she likes."

"Henry's not been looking well lately," Eddie fretted; she had grown very close to the elder Reagan patriarch in recent months and worried about him. "I hope he's okay; it seems like he's had a lot on his mind the past few weeks… too bad though, I wanted Mom to meet everyone. She likes Hungarian by the way, but I don't think that's an option for everyone else. Just plain old traditional American fare is fine. Do you think he has the same bug?"

"Probably," Jamie mused as he stealthily slipped the medicine dropper into Kaylin's mouth while she was distracted and gave it a quick squeeze before tickling her side so she swallowed before letting out a big cry. "Gotcha," he grinned with a little self-satisfaction before briskly walking over to the fridge to retrieve her promised frozen incentive as she pouted at him and barked out another heavy series of phlegm-laden coughs. "He told me he had something important he wanted to talk to me about this afternoon but it looks like that'll have to wait," he added as he put a hand to Kaylin's forehead again. "I'm taking her down to St. Vic's, Ed," he said as he shook his head. "I want Linda or Addie to take a listen to her; they're both working today and I don't like the sound of that. You better get moving… please let's not start something with your mother on the first day. You're supposed to visit all those bakeries for cake tasting and they'll be closed tomorrow."

Eddie sighed, knowing it was senseless to argue with him at that point. She had a jam-packed itinerary through Wednesday as Eva had insisted on being involved in all aspects of the wedding planning since agreeing to come and there wasn't much time in the schedule for flexibility if they were going to pull everything together during this visit. She just hoped that the one thing they had decided on without her... the venue for the ceremony and reception… would prove to be suitable. Jamie's godparents had offered the use of an old abandoned Catholic monastery that sat on the grounds of their estate outside of the city. It was quaint and not spectacularly fancy but had been one of his mother's favorite places and would no doubt prove to be a perfectly lovely spot for the candlelight ceremony Eddie was envisioning, not to mention easy on their limited budget.

"I guess you're right; you'll let me know what they say about her, though?" she asked with her own wrinkle of maternal concern as she reached over and kissed the little girl's cheek and gave her a hug. "Feel better, my sweet teddy bear," she whispered a goodbye pet name to her.

"See ya later, my Eddie bear," Kaylin replied back quietly as she leaned against Jamie's shoulder and sucked on her popsicle. Much like his insistence that Kaylin not use the word 'daddy' for him until the adoption was finalized after Christmas, Eddie had decided not to jinx the universe by asking Kaylin to call her anything else right now, especially since the little girl still had vivid images of her real mother courtesy of that eidetic memory of hers. There would be a lifetime ahead when they were an official family to worry about something as simple as a name.

"You'll be busy so I'll text," Jamie assured. "I know you think I'm being too overprotective by taking her down there to the walk-in clinic, but the pediatrician's office is probably closed today and we'll end up with whatever yahoo is on call like the last time," he frowned irritably. "This way I can phone ahead and make sure we see someone good. It's a Reagan thing," he added as he kissed her forehead. "You'll understand soon enough, lambchop. Now go and enjoy this time with your mom," he insisted. "Make some good memories for the two of you. Kaylin and I are gonna be fine."

Indeed, just over three hours later both Linda and Addison had to stifle grins as they each assured the worried father for the third time after a consult with the head pediatrician on staff that his little girl in fact had an acute upper respiratory tract infection, but was okay otherwise as long as care was taken to watch her fever and that things ran their course in a normal fashion. Linda was busy printing up Kaylin's discharge papers and pulling together a few samples when Jamie walked up to the desk.

"Has anyone checked on Gramps?" he asked her as she was typing up the last of the instructions. "Dad said he's not feeling well either and Eddie's worried he's been really pale and tired lately."

Linda paused and looked up from her screen. In truth she had found herself spending far less time than normal at the Reagan family home as Danny had taken to using it as a refuge for himself while things between them had turned a bit rough in recent months. They were still trying to work out their differences over her reaction to the hospital shooting that took place almost exactly a year ago and the upcoming anniversary had dredged up bad feelings for her again. She'd even found herself uncharacteristically volunteering to take a few Sunday shifts at work to avoid attending all the formerly sacred Reagan family Sunday dinners. Her absence had not gone unnoticed.

"He goes to regular appointments with his doctors, Jamie… maybe you should ask them," she replied a little coldly as if he was somehow inferring that she wasn't doing her job at home... and that had been a huge bone of contention with Danny as of late so it was a particular sore spot.

"No, I know," Jamie was backed off a bit at her tone; he'd also been guilty of working the past few weekends and tomorrow wasn't looking promising with the sick little girl that was now sleeping in his arms. "It's just, you know he's getting older and all…" he trailed off when the warmth did not return to her eyes. "Thanks for your help this morning, Linda. I really appreciate it. See you later," he offered in concession as she handed him the papers and supplies without another word and he turned to walk down the hallway carrying his precious cargo while sending Eddie a quick text to let her know all was fine. He couldn't help but wonder just what might have really happened to his brother's formally rock-solid marriage, and if in fact this was all because of that terrible day last year and the gunfire that had echoed just down the corridor from here or there was more to it. It was troubling to think that one somewhat random event like that could have such an impact on the way someone felt about a person they loved.

* * *

 _A bit of a tough opening chapter sets us up for our first in depth look at mommazilla… er, Eva Janko in this series, and her character will surely not disappoint as she plays a much bigger role in the events this time around!_

 _For those that have wondered, thanks for your thoughts and prayers! My friend's daughter who provides some of the inspiration for the Kaylin character was released from the hospital several weeks after her illness but she's doing fine now and expected to make a complete recovery!_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Eddie had been anxiously pacing the Delta concourse near gate 57 at Laguardia for over two hours waiting for flight 6188 from Rochester to arrive with Eva Janko aboard, but the plane's departure had been delayed with reported mechanical issues and it had just landed a few minutes ago. _So much for needing to get everyone up at the crack of dawn to get here,_ she thought ruefully as she regretted the kerfuffle her actions had caused that morning and found herself wishing, not for the first time, that the doors to the restaurant and bar across the way were not locked so she could seek out some liquid courage before her mother made an entrance. It was not to be, however, and Eddie soon spotted a familiar figure emerging from the terminal and stalking towards her in six-inch heels accompanied by a single large suitcase wheeling almost reluctantly along behind.

"Mom! Over here!" Eddie called as she hurried towards the woman who was dressed to the nines in the morning hours with not a wrinkle in her clothing or a hair out of place after her delayed travel. _How does she do that?_ her daughter wondered as she became immediately self conscious of her own outfit… one that had been assembled largely in the dark out of a mix of items available in easy-to-reach boxes and she instantly regretted the choice of the comfortable shoes that went with it after all the fuss they had caused.

"Edit!" her mother responded with a tight-lipped smile and a slightly puzzled look as she made her way over. "Where is... everyone else?" she asked as she glanced around, obviously expecting a full contingent to greet her. "I thought at least Jamison would be here with you."

"Oh, no it's just me," Eddie tried to smooth that fact over with a little laugh as she grabbed the suitcase handle. "Jamie took the day off but Kaylin came down with a fever and cough this morning so he needed to take her to the doctor," she explained, failing to mention that it had been her intention to let him sleep in otherwise regardless of her mother's arrival. "I thought we would just go over to the hotel and have a bite to eat before we head out to those bakeries on the list. We can meet him and Kaylin for dinner tomorrow afternoon if she's feeling better," she added but did not fail to see the judgemental frown her mother immediately offered. "What?"

"Nothing," Eva tried to brush off as they started walking towards the exit.

Eddie returned the look as her expression clouded up, well-versed in the dance now taking place between them within the conversation. "She was sick, Mom… what was he supposed to do?" she muttered as they made their way outside to catch a shuttle to the car. At that moment her phone buzzed with an incoming text from Jamie.

 _K's fine,_ it read. _Doc says just bad cold. Fever's down._

"Thank goodness," Eddie replied out loud with a sigh of relief as she flashed the screen at the older woman while they boarded the tram. "See?"

"I see, Edit," her mother chastised as she settled herself on the seat. "I see my daughter already willing to play second or third fiddle in this relationship… behind _his_ child and an allegiance to _his_ job and _that_ family… you could say you're in fourth for all intents and purposes and you act like you're _happy_ about it," she added bluntly as they rode along in search of the designated row where Eddie had parked.

"But I _am_ happy, Mom!" Eddie cried as she stopped herself, not quite believing they were already having this discussion after her mother had been in town for all of ten minutes. Eva had not been shy about expressing her opinion on these matters privately to her daughter over the course of the last few months, but Eddie thought they had put most of this behind them and we're ready to move on to the fun part of planning the big event. "I can't wait to be married to Jamie and Kaylin will be _our_ little girl," she emphasized. "She's gonna be mine too and I love them both… she's the sweetest thing and he has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met!"

"Gonna be yours? You say that now, Edit," her mother continued. "But I've seen that he's a daddy to her already, and what has he told her to call you? Eddie still is it? You're not her mother."

"That's not fair," her daughter muttered. "We're not married yet and I want her to call me by my name until then… she's not ready to say anything else. Jamie left that up to me. He loves me and treats me better than anybody has ever before, you'll see! I'm certainly not worried about what fiddle I'll play!" she added indignantly. "We're going to be a real family, Mom… we already are!"

"I thought the same with your father too, and take a look at your history to see where we all ended up with that… you're here in this awful city working as a police officer of all things for God's sake, and he's in prison! He had his own priorities when we met and after a while I wasn't one of them and neither were you. Jamison is coming into this marriage with a child of his own already!" she stressed. "One that you've admitted he put before you during that whole scandal last fall… forcing you to stay back so he could keep the press away from the good Reagan family name when your father's indiscretions were brought up. It's clear how he's been raised by that overbearing father of his and you can't tell me when push comes to shove that he'll not pick that child over you. What man goes out and adopts a baby like that, anyway?" she added. "It's probably his in the first place and you just don't know it yet," she muttered, thankfully beyond Eddie's hearing in that instant as their shuttle pulled up behind a noisy bus or her daughter might have told the driver to turn around right then and there.

"Mom, please… you promised!" Eddie said in growing frustration as her eyes welled up. "You'll love the Reagans when you meet them. If you knew anything about their family you would never say such things! They've welcomed me and never said a bad word about Dad… if anything they've only tried to spare my feelings."

"Say what you want... I promised you I would come here and help you plan your wedding, Edit," Eva said adamantly. "And that I wouldn't bring any of this up in front of Jamison or his family. I fully intend to keep that vow, but none of them are here right now so we can talk openly, can't we? You are _my_ baby and I won't stand back and watch my little girl get hurt in any way. Maybe I'll change my mind as things go on, but I've said my peace and now we will move on with a clear understanding of where I am coming from. I never sugar-coat things, do I, Edit Katalin? You're all that I have left."

###

Bothered by the observation Eddie had made earlier and unaware that she was currently receiving the third degree and worse from her own mother, which would have angered him to no end, Jamie decided to take a moment after leaving the hospital and stop by his father's home in Bay Ridge to check on his grandfather since Henry had asked to speak with him anyway and he had not seen the older Reagan patriarch in several weeks now. He promised himself he would only stay for a few minutes even though Kaylin had perked up considerably since the morning as the ibuprofen had brought her fever down substantially. Still, he had no intention of getting anyone else sick in the family.

He was surprised to see both Frank and Henry seated at the kitchen table having an early lunch of soup and sandwiches after he knocked and made his way in through the back door. Frank jumped to his feet with a smile when he saw his son enter, eager to reach for his granddaughter but Jamie waved him off.

"We're not staying… she's not feeling good, Dad," he offered as he continued to hold Kaylin close. "Picked up that bug that's going around the 3-5… trust me, you don't want any of this. We just came from the doctor. I'm only stopping by for a second to let you know Eddie said that anything traditional would be okay for her mom tomorrow. Just try to go for someplace nice but neutral or you'll regret it, trust me. How are you feeling, Gramps?" he asked as he turned his attention to Henry.

"Oh, I'm fine," the older man gruffed quite hoarsely as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. Jamie was immediately concerned though with his grandfather's rather tired-looking countenance. "Your father is making more out of it than there is. Now sit down, son. I wanted to talk to you today anyway. It's too bad that Eddie couldn't be here, but I figured she'd be out with her mom all week and I don't have much time," he hesitated for a moment to gather his thoughts. Jamie could see that he was struggling to breathe a little despite his earlier assurances. "Francis, get that little girl a sandwich and some broth, you know how she loves grilled cheese," he squawked with a dry cough.

"Whatever this is can wait until you're feeling better," Jamie offered with unease while Frank left the table to do as instructed. He should have known better than to think he could just drop in and leave so he gave in and reluctantly took a seat, swinging Kaylin around to sit on his lap. The little girl tiredly laid her head on the table but offered her Grandpa a small smile when he slid a plate with half a sandwich and a few of her favorite cookies in front of her… they just happened to be his weakness as well and he always had a fresh supply ready and waiting for when she stopped in.

"Oh come on now," he defended when he saw his son's raised eyebrow as she quickly reached for the treat. "There's nothing wrong with iced oatmeal raisin from Wilder's Bakery when you're sick. Do you really care what she eats right now?"

"Funny, I don't ever remember you dipping into your secret stash for me no matter how sick I was, Dad. I thought you had that drawer booby-trapped still," Jamie huffed with a grin before turning back to Henry. "What's on your mind, Pop?"

"I was wondering if you had found a proper home for my great-granddaughter yet," Henry replied bluntly. "I heard that you've had to move all of Eddie's things into your little apartment now as well? There wasn't enough room for Kaylin to play there in the first place! That's no way for her to grow up, Jamison Reagan!" he barked roughly and followed with an accompanying glare without a hint of a smile. Despite his age, Henry had lost none of his famous ability to sweat a perp, and Jamie was solidly in his crosshairs at the moment.

Whoa. So Eddie wasn't the only one getting blasted unexpectedly from a parental figure at that very moment.

Jamie was immediately taken back by the sharp tone which was normally reserved for only the most serious circumstances. He wasn't used to hearing such ire from his grandfather out of the blue and hadn't meant to let their housing situation spiral out of control, but with their often opposing schedules, finding a suitable house for a child in the city within a reasonable distance to work given his and Eddie's combined salaries had proven to be nearly impossible in the current market. Neither one had wanted to settle on a place that wasn't near a good school or in an iffy neighborhood, but nothing promising had turned up and they were beginning to consider a concession to look for another apartment lease somewhere while they put off their dream for a few more years, especially with the expenses of the wedding coming up in just four short months.

"No… um, well we haven't yet..." he admitted with marked hesitation, sensing that was not the answer his grandfather wanted to hear.

Henry paused and reached behind him to grab some items off the counter. Once he turned back around he immediately threw a set of keys in front of Jamie, startling Kaylin as she was eating her cheese sandwich. "There," he admonished. "Then those are for her. Now you don't have to think about it anymore."

Jamie instantly shot a worried look at his father; he had no idea how to answer that. Henry wasn't making a lot of sense and given the things he saw daily on the job, all types of possible medical issues were popping into his head, anything from Alzheimer's to a stroke. "Grandpa," he reiterated, watching him carefully and not knowing his agenda, "what are you talking about?"

"Pop, dial it back a little," Frank warned as he could read the concern now emanating from his son. "You're scaring the boy."

Henry smiled. He was still sharp as a tack and recognized the anxious tone in his grandson's voice. "Now Jamie, don't you worry about me," he said. "I haven't fallen off my rocker just yet. Those keys are to your grandmother's house."

Jamie's eyebrow raised as he glanced back and forth between the two older men, but that revelation had done little to put his mind at ease. His grandparent's old house was located just a few blocks away from where they now sat in the Bay Ridge section of Brooklyn with its stately tree-lined streets and abundant parks. After Grandma Betty had passed away, Henry had sold it to the Petersons and moved in with Frank after Mary had died of cancer and the children were all gone. It had been a handsome brick home at one point; quite similar to the house he now shared with Frank but on a slightly smaller scale and with a more open floorplan. Jamie had been saddened to watch as it had fallen into such a state of disrepair in the years since. He had spent many happy hours in that house as a child but it was in a bit of a bad state at the present. Regardless of its current condition, anything in this zip code was well out of their ballpark financially and certainly not an option.

"Gramps…" he started in puzzlement, "I don't understand where you're going with this. Eddie and I can't afford…"

"Betty and I shared a lot of great memories there," Henry interrupted nostalgically. "We raised your father in that house and babysat all of you grandchildren. The Petersons took pretty good care of it until about four or five years ago when Mark died unexpectedly and left Ella alone. She called me three weeks ago; she was diagnosed with stage four cancer a few months back and she was behind on the mortgage. The bank was going to foreclose on it if she couldn't find her way out of it. She moved into hospice at the beginning of the week and doesn't have a lot of time left."

"Oh, that's too bad, Pop," Jamie said. "Doesn't she have any family that can help her out?"

"Nah," Henry replied. "They had a daughter, Mia, but she died in a car accident twenty years ago. They outlived all of their other relatives."

Jamie was starting to get a clearer picture of where this was headed, but it was completely improbable on a newly promoted NYPD sergeant and a third-year patrol officer's salaries and he was shaking his head as he continued to hold his little girl. He would have done almost anything to give her the opportunity to grow up in such a wonderful home but there was no way it could happen now… maybe if he had stayed in law but then the fates would have changed and his life would have been totally different at this moment. The conflicted expression on his face didn't stop the elder Reagan from continuing.

"Your Grandmother loved that house, Jamie. It's a fine place to raise a family. I feel like I owe it to her to try to leave it in a good way before my time is up," Henry admitted.

"Pop! Please don't talk like that!" Jamie cried, suddenly fearful that Eddie had been right and there was something seriously wrong with Henry now… he knew how devastating that would be for the whole family, but to her in particular as she'd become very close to the older man over the past months. He had treated her as family right from that very first night when Kaylin had come into their lives and welcomed her into the Reagan home. Her own grandparents had remained in the old country when her mother had immigrated to New York. She'd never met them and had been happy to embrace Henry's warm and inviting demeanor as an elder. It didn't hurt that he had hundreds of fascinating cop stories to share as well. She could sit and listen to him reminisce for hours, and he was only too happy to do it. Eddie reminded him very much of his beloved Betty when she was younger.

"Gramps, we can't," Jamie said, shaking his head and remembering his observations the last time he took note of the structure, mentally calculating the cost in time and money that would be needed to restore it just from outside appearances, and that would be on top of a hefty mortgage. It was well outside of their means. "Eddie and I are just getting married. We're not ready for a house like that and there's no way we could afford it."

"Hear me out, Jamie," Henry said as he cleared his throat again. "I've given this a lot of thought," he continued gruffly, pausing for a sip of broth. "I've been meeting with a financial guy to do some estate planning and he told me I that I needed to start gifting some of my investment savings away for tax purposes. Your father has his own money. I want to give it to my great-grandchildren. Nicki, Jack and Sean will get help with college. You and Eddie... I'm not gonna be around long enough to see Kaylin or any of your other kids go to school. I want her to have a good home to grow up in, or the others whenever they come, God willing, and I want to see my money making a difference now, not just coming as a cold check from the estate of Henry Fitzgerald Reagan somewhere down the road when I'm already in the ground."

"Pop!…" Jamie tried to interrupt again, but Henry deftly ignored him and continued.

"The down payment is your wedding gift, the rest is for Kaylin. I know you'll see to it that she has what she needs for school later on. Ella was not looking to make a profit, there was no one to pass it along to. She just needed to be bought out of what she still owed quickly so she could take the little bit of equity and live out her few remaining days. We rushed and had settlement last week and she went into hospice Monday." He flipped over the sheet of paper in front of him on the table and pushed it towards Jamie. "Here, you take this and show it to Eddie. That's what my planner figured out you'll need to pay in each year for property taxes. You just need to cover that. He'll draw up some kind of contract. I'll hold the mortgage and you'll have equitable title for the amount I can gift you every year. When the time comes, the deed will be passed to you in the will and it will be yours outright... unless I live another thirty years and you pay it off first," he smirked sadly as he got up and pushed his chair in. "Just think about it," he said abruptly as he stood up. "We'll talk more later. I'm tired and going to lay down." With that he stood and continued to make his way towards the stairs and up to his room.

Jamie looked disbelievingly at the keys and paper in front of him and turned to his father. "Dad?" he questioned as he scooted Kaylin up on his lap. His heart was pounding now and it had nothing to do with the house, at least not directly. It felt to him like the older man was putting his affairs in order. "Is there something wrong with Gramps? I mean I think someone needs to look at him… he seems so tired and Linda hasn't been here much lately," he said nervously as he had been in the position to be the last to know such things before. "Please tell me the truth!"

"No, Jamie," Frank assured softly. "At least nothing new that we know about. He's got health problems creeping up on him as everyone his age does… but this whole situation with Ella Peterson has upset him greatly for the past few weeks," he admitted as he got up to pour them both a cup of coffee. "Seeing her sick and alone in that house… it was stressful and I think it's brought back some of the grief he felt over your grandmother again after all these years. He truly loved her," he paused and looked out of the back window as the thoughts of his own mother's loss choked him up, "and she truly loved that house… He wants to see it put back in order and I think Eddie reminds him of Mom, she was always feisty that way," he smiled as he sat back down at the table and looked Jamie and the little girl who must be under the weather given the fact that she was content to sit so quietly. "Nothing would make him happier than to see Kaylin growing up there. There's a lot of Reagan family history under that roof... which will need to be replaced by the way. It's a fantastic opportunity for you son, but don't underestimate the amount of work it needs. Ella turned into quite the hoarder after Mark died. I think she had a cat too. It'll take you months before it's habitable. Just go home and talk to Eddie before you decide anything," he advised.

His son didn't have any other words to add at that point. Jamie Reagan was speechless.

* * *

 _So there could be an interesting round of pillow talk coming up between our favorite Jamko pair. Will Eddie confide in Jamie as to everything that was said, or did her mother succeed in planting little seeds of doubt that might crop up later and grow dangerous given the right circumstances? How will she react to the news about the house offer and is Henry really okay?_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Rough day?" Jamie asked as he reached around to draw Eddie close and kiss her forehead after she crawled into bed and turned off the lamp. She had stayed out with her mother until late in the evening and he had gone to bed early as he was due in for first shift the next morning. "I'm sorry if your mom was upset that we didn't come by at all. Kaylin was really wiped out after we stopped at my dad's house and I just wanted to let her sleep. Her fever broke tonight though, and she looks much better so hopefully she'll be okay to go out with you tomorrow while I'm at work. You can call Mrs. Henderson to sit with her if she's not."

"That's good to hear, and no, it was fine. Mom and I had a lot to do anyway," Eddie outright lied with an even voice, grateful that it was dark and Jamie couldn't read her expression since he was so adept at that. "She's meeting some friends in the morning for breakfast so Kaylin and I don't have to go out until noon. We're going to spend the afternoon shopping before dinner." Eddie had a lifetime of experience in hiding her feelings, but was rarely successful with Jamie for long unless she took another tact. "We picked out a beautiful buttercream cake with raspberry filling at Albrightson's Bakery though," she smiled as she artfully changed the subject and curled around to lay on his chest with her hair cascading over to the side, playfully running her fingers lightly over the tip of his nose and mouth while she listened to his heart beat. "It's gonna look so good on you when I smash all that sweet frosting into your face for those pictures, Reagan," she teased.

"Oh, you wouldn't dare" he replied, knowing full well that she would as he reached down with one hand to cup her cheek and draw her lips in for a kiss, "and I'll give you something sweet before that, Miss Janko. Don't you worry."

"I'm not," she breathed as the kiss quickly deepened and she suddenly became the aggressor, desperate to feel close and safe in his touch after the uncertainties that had arisen with her mother's arrival. He was somewhat surprised by the directness and pace of her actions, but was in no mood to resist as she pulled him down flat and hit all of his trigger points in a rapid but methodical fashion. He was barely thinking straight as she drove him on, but there was one thing that did not slip his mind as they neared they neared a critical point.

"Hold on," he gasped as he reached towards the nightstand drawer. "We need... to get something... first..." He was surprised to feel her stop him and pin his arm back onto the bed.

"Do we really have to?" she murmured as she breathed next to his ear, her lips caressing the soft skin below his jawline, her hand now tracing a soft, sensuous path down his side and slipping lower, ready to draw him into her… suddenly hating the notion that something had to come between them in that moment.

"Um, yeah, unless you're prepared to have that fancy dress let out in a few months and take a little hitchhiker along on our honeymoon," he replied as he reached up and pushed her away a bit so he could look at her. There was just enough light coming in from between the shades to make out her troubled soft features. "What's with you tonight?" he asked. "I mean, God, it's not that I really wanna complain here... but we talked about this, Ed. It's not the right time now, not yet… not with the wedding coming up and Kaylin... all of us stuffed together in this apartment like sardines."

"Don't you want to have a baby with me?" she asked suddenly after pulling away and instantly regretting letting that implanted insecurity slip.

"Wait, _what?!_ Of course I do," Jamie puzzled as the mood was broken and he sat up while grabbing her arm to keep her from getting out of bed and running away. This was certainly coming out of the blue he worried until he remembered she had spent the better part of the day with her overbearing mother. "Eddie, slow down here. Why would you even question that? Did your mom say something? Please Ed, you have to talk to me," he begged as he pulled her back next to him and wrapped his arms around her. "What's really bothering you? I'm gonna figure it out anyway, now spill," he demanded.

"You're Kaylin's daddy, and I'm still just Eddie," she admitted with some hesitation and a small sob. "I wanna be a mommy."

Not for the first time today, Jamie found himself rendered completely speechless for a moment as he tried to gather his thoughts.

"Aw, lambchop," he sighed finally, still trying to process exactly what would provoke his future mother-in-law to dredge something like that up. Damn that Eva Janko… no wonder Eddie was so adamant about taking the Reagan name once they were married. "Honey, you already are Kaylin's mom. I know it's such an important name, but that's all it is… a word. You can't let something like that define yourself. In your actions and in her heart you _are_ her mother now." He paused to let that sink in as she cried softly on his shoulder, embarrassed to have come undone like this in front of him, but not willing to reveal the whole truth behind the depths of her feelings either. "I thought you wanted to wait until we were married to ask her to call you that anyway?" He waited but there was no response for some time. "It was easier for me," he admitted after another long pause as he allowed her time to spill the emotions out. "Look how long I was just Jammie," he laughed although he remembered how precious it was to hear his little girl say that other word the first time. "Kaylin never knew a father before, but for you… she still remembers Jayne and everything that went with that, including the bad stuff and what she saw in the accident. With her memory, it's hard to forget. To her the word mommy doesn't necessarily mean all good things yet, but you're her Eddie bear and that only reflects love and trust which is what you've always showed her. If it's really important to you, we can try to start talking to her about it some more again… the last time she just got upset. I just don't know that's she's ready to understand yet."

"No, it's stupid," Eddie replied as she sniffled while wiping her tears and relaxed slightly into his arms, subconsciously relieved to hear that he was not putting Kaylin above her without a thought as her mother had implied. "I knew all of that but I guess I just want us to be a real family so bad… I wasn't thinking straight. We'll wait until after the wedding like we decided before and we all have the same last name… at least we're at the same address now, even if it is a sardine can," she joked to lighten the mood.

"About that," he started as he was still trying to wrap his head around Henry's offer earlier in the day. It was such a magnanimous proposal that he had no idea where to start. "What if I told you I might have found a house for us…"

"What!" she jumped up to look at him and gasped with excitement. "Where?"

"Bay Ridge," he admitted as he raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips, waiting for the inevitable reaction.

"Oh, Reagan," she sighed as she sank back down with disappointment. "I thought you were serious for a second there. Quit joking about stuff like that. We couldn't afford a garage in that neighborhood."

"I'm not kidding," he insisted, although recalling the state of the house when he peeked in for a moment on the way home, she was not far off on her assessment… the garage looked like a more viable option at that point. "Ed, honey, we really need to talk about this," he admitted, and talk they did… for the better part of the next two hours until it was well after midnight and they were both exhausted considering not only the possibilities, but the heavy responsibilities that lay with moving ahead with something like that. Jamie was the thinker… the planner, and he concerned himself with the nuts and bolts of the situation where Eddie was the impulsive one… the romantic and all she could see was the realization of something she had always dreamed of.

"Jamie, if this is so important to Pop," she said quietly after a long pause. "We have to do it for him… it wouldn't be right to say no, would it? It's like he's entrusting part of the Reagan family history to us." She rolled over, still brimming with excitement at the prospect of having their very own home as she propped herself up on an elbow when there was no response except for heavy breathing next to her. "Jamie?" she whispered and softly ran the back of two fingers across his cheek… frowning at the distinct bit of added warmth she felt there now. "Aw, baby you are going to end up getting sick after all, aren't you?" she murmured as she curled back up, resolved to let him rest and hoping beyond hope that he wouldn't wind up missing that all-important dinner tomorrow… her mother would certainly never forgive that and she needed him to have her back as she introduced Eva to the rest of the Reagan family.

###

"He'll be here, Mom," Eddie assured with a nervous glance at her watch as the two Janko women sat next to one another at a large private dining table in Delmonico's restaurant with all the other Reagan family members save for Henry who stayed home, and Jamie who had naturally been called out at the last minute to the scene of an officer-involved accident as one of the RMPs out of the 3-5 had been struck in an intersection while responded to a call. After assuring himself that his two patrolmen were basically unhurt, he turned the situation over to the next shift while he called Eddie and instructed her to order for him. Despite his best intentions, everyone else was already starting on their coffee and desserts when he finally managed to arrive.

"Sorry for being so late," he croaked out hoarsely as he made his way into the room and paused to nod sheepishly at Eva before giving Eddie a peck on the cheek and reaching over to hug Kaylin from behind as she sat in her seat, all the while still dressed informally in his black NYPD t-shirt and blue uniform pants. He had been in such a rush once arriving back at the precinct that he had just switched out his weapon, taken off his top shirt and ran without stopping to change into the nice set of clothes he had brought with him. He was worried Eddie was going to be upset with him for missing so much of this important dinner when in reality he would have been much better served going directly home to bed as he fought off the intermittent fever and chills he had been experiencing all day. None of this was going to make a particularly good impression with Eva, of that he was sure.

"It's understandable, son," his father tried to smooth over as he caught the tight-lipped expression Mrs. Janko shot her daughter while Jamie settled in his seat across the table. Frank had decided on this venue for today as a sort of litmus test since he intended to reserve it for the upcoming rehearsal dinner. Delmonico's was owned by a close family friend and had always been Joe's favorite place to celebrate so he had decided on it knowing that Jamie would want to find ways to stay close to his brother's memory during the wedding events. "Dano kept your meal warm out in the kitchen. Are the two officers okay?"

"Yeah, Dad. Looks like it," Jamie affirmed as the waitress arrived with his plate and he reached for his napkin. In reality he had no appetite whatsoever at the moment but was determined to play along as much as possible. "I sent them both to St. Vic's to get checked out. Andre might need a few stitches, but the rest looked to be just bruises. Patterson didn't have a scratch, but he did bump his head a little. The cruiser has seen better days though… I don't think Bob in motor pool is going to be able to save her. Hopefully 1PP approves my requisition for a replacement," he kidded as he dared glance up for the first time to read the mood of the room. All in all things seemed to be a little chilly on that front as eight sets of Reagan eyes stared back at him, including a little twosome of intense blue ones that melted his heart and a few Janko pairs blinked somewhat in shock. "How's Pop feeling?" he rasped, suddenly wondering just how bad he must appear at that moment given the looks he was receiving. "I was thinking that maybe he should stop in and see Dr. Holden or Addison since he seemed to be breathing so heavy yesterday." He ignored the expected sniff of disdain from Linda and the wrinkle of Eddie's nose when he brought up Addie's name once more.

"He's better off than you look," Danny answered bluntly as he worriedly took in his little brother's pale expression and glassy eyes which were distinctly offset against his dark shirt. It wasn't hard to tell that the kid should have been flat on his back in bed under some covers at the moment. He was obviously pushing himself too hard once again, and given what the whole family had witnessed the previous summer when he was hospitalized with the pneumonia, they were all anxious about seeing him looking this way again. Taking his cue from the fact that Kaylin had bounced back rather quickly after breaking her fever, Jamie had tried to ward off a high temperature and severe body aches all day with judicious revolving doses of acetaminophen and ibuprofen but he was obviously losing the battle now. "Please at least tell me you've banged in sick for the next tour."

"Can't," Jamie admitted quietly as he looked down once more to avoid the concerned gazes and pick at the green beans on his plate. "We've got rookies pulling doubles overnight and first shift tomorrow to cover for the two that were hit in the car tonight… not enough senior officers left to ride with them. Gotta make it through at least one more day before this thing has cycled through the whole precinct and we have almost everyone available. I'm pretty much the last one left to go down with it. Besides Lieutenant Carson is coming back now," he defended. "If I have to I can take a day on Tuesday to rest and I already have Wednesday scheduled off so Ed and I can drive her mom out to the McPherson's to see the church and talk to Tom and Lillian about the reception. I'll be fine," he insisted roughly. "Now how was your day?" he directed at Eddie in an obvious attempt to turn the conversation away from himself. "Please tell me you didn't buy too much when you were out shopping or we'll have an avalanche that blocks off the bathroom tonight," he quipped although it was soon obvious by her expression that Eva did not appreciate his attempt at humor. Jamie was already counting the days before that Delta plane was due to wing its way north back to Rochester.

"It was fun," his bride-to-be insisted as she tried to cut her mother's retort off, although true to her word, the older woman had thus far kept her commentary strictly civil in front of the family. Eddie had made a huge mistake earlier when she had excitedly taken Eva on a drive by past the old Reagan homestead and her mother had been appalled by the sight of it with the high grass and unkempt lawn and overgrown shrubbery on full display. As a real estate agent herself, she did not relish the thought of her only daughter moving from one inappropriate housing situation into such a fixer-upper. Thankfully Eddie had been unaware that Jamie already had a key or she would have given her mother more ammunition with a look inside at rooms filled to the ceiling with Ella's remaining hoarded cache. Jamie had missed the prior edgy discussion at dinner which had revolved around Henry's announcement to Erin, Linda and Danny earlier in the afternoon regarding the trusts he was setting up for the children's educations and his plans for the old home. This had certainly not been the quiet family gathering that Eddie had been praying for as Danny's pride had been bruised by the thought of someone else needing to provide for his family and he and Linda had been sniping back and forth a bit about it all night.

"So how are things coming along with the dress?" Erin asked in a clear effort to steer the conversation away from testy Reagan family matters and back towards the wedding plans so that Eva could participate. Eddie had decided on having a small entourage for the intimate space, consisting of her best friends Hailey and Kara Walsh as the senior bridesmaids, along with Nicki representing the Reagans and of course Kaylin as the flower girl. Erin and Linda had been secretly relieved when they had been given the choice of being in the party or not. The two had been much happier not to worry about sporting a dreaded bridesmaids gown this time around although the one they had picked for Nicki was quite lovely. Danny, Jack and Sean would comprise the escorts with Spencer flying in from California to be the best man.

"Oh, Mom and I have an appointment for a fitting at the bridal boutique at ten tomorrow morning so she can see it," Eddie replied excitedly, "and we're going to pick out Kaylin's dress right after. Then we're off to the White Coach Tavern for lunch and Bloomingdale's for shoe shopping. It'll be just about the perfect day," she enthused with her blue eyes flashing warmly.

"Oh good, more shoes," Jamie muttered under his breath with a twinkle in his tired eyes and a smile notwithstanding. Despite the fact that he was feeling rather poorly himself at the moment, it tickled him to no end to see Eddie so excited about spending the day out doing girly things with Kaylin, even in the presence of Eva, and he was hoping that it would be a day everyone would remember for many years to come.

Unfortunately though, once again unforeseen circumstances would wreak havoc with that intention although the day would certainly prove to be sadly memorable.

* * *

 _A rough span of chapters ahead for the entire Reagan family as upcoming events will test their resolve both personally and professionally and drive deep wedges between some of the members as they deal with a tremendous tragedy and an unexpected threat. It might just take an outsider to remind them that there is indeed something very important in a name._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Good to see you're up and moving already this morning," Frank commented to his father as he made his way into the kitchen early Monday before work and reached for the coffee. "You've been sleeping in a lot more often lately. I've been getting lonely having oatmeal for one."

"Hmph," Henry grumped as flipped to the next page in the sports section. "The way the Yankees have been playing there's no reason to get up early and read the box scores. Besides, I wanted to know how the big dinner went last night since I was already in bed when you finally decided to wander in. Tell me, what's the scoop on that Janko woman? How long is she staying? Is she really as bad as we thought? I mean Jamie gets this kinda blank pained look on his face every time her name comes up and that kid could warm up the ice queen with one smile… you know the one in that story from the big thick fairy tale book Kaylin loves when you read to her."

"It's an understandable look, Pop," Frank acknowledged. "And I think you mean Hans Christian Andersen's Snow Queen." He paused before quoting, " _She was beautiful but all made of ice: cold, blindingly glittering ice; and yet she was alive, for her eyes stared at Kai like two stars, but neither rest nor peace was to be found in her gaze."_

"Show off. Must you _always_ be right, Francis?"

"No," his son conceded. "It's an apt analogy though. She's due to fly back to Rochester on Wednesday evening after Jamie and Eddie take her out to the McPherson's place to see the venue for the ceremony and reception. I bet the temperature drops up there by ten degrees the minute she arrives home."

"That bad?"

"Worse," Frank admitted. "Although to be honest Eva did her best to be civil last night while some of our own were kinda stirred up by those announcements you made yesterday afternoon about the college trusts and the plans you have for Jamie and Eddie with the old house. Danny's a proud man, Pop. Something like that shouldn't have been brought up in front of Jack and Sean. It makes him feel like he's not a good provider and he and Linda were at each other a bit again. Jamie had a situation at work and didn't arrive until dessert time so that didn't go over too well either. Eddie was excited about the house, but she took Eva by and I'm not sure that her mother could see the potential just yet."

"Well, then it's a good thing she lives a distance away and doesn't visit often. Those two certainly don't need someone interfering in their lives like that," Henry commented as he took a sip of his honey tea.

"Like _that?"_ Frank tutted. "You mean like telling Jamie that he's not doing right by his daughter and pushing them into a home they might not be ready for?"

"You think I'm interfering? By giving all these kids a better life? You wait until you're in my shoes, Francis," the older man insisted with an annoyed tone in his voice. "When your whole life comes down to nothing more than the number of zeros in your bank account and what to do with them if you're lucky enough to have any. Look at what happened to Ella. Couldn't even take her damn cat with her, had to send him to the shelter because the hospice people said it couldn't be there with her for a few days or weeks until she passes. Broke her heart. I wanted some say in where my money went at least. Besides, the kids... they all have a choice. I'm not holding a gun to anyone's head."

"The others have a choice," Frank reminded. "Nicki, Jack and Sean can pick whatever college or major they'd like to pursue from anywhere in the entire world... and that was a wonderful thing you did for them, but you pretty much decided to root Jamie and Eddie here in Bay Ridge without asking if that's what they really wanted first."

"You don't think it is?"

"I didn't say that, Pop, but they should have had an option and not an obligation," his son advised as he gathered up his briefcase and phone. "Don't worry," he frowned when he saw the somewhat stunned look on his father's face. "Maybe I shouldn't have put it that way. They'll love living there once they get it fixed up and I know you just wanted the best for Kaylin. From what I saw Eddie is clearly over the moon about having their own home, which means Jamie will be excited about it too once he's had a few minutes in a row actually to sit down and think about it. It's been a rough couple of weeks for him over at the 3-5 and he needs some rest, but that's the life of a young sergeant trying to make his bones. My detail is here. Glad you're feeling better today. Gotta get going… busy schedule on tap."

Henry put his paper down on the table and frowned as he watched Frank leave. It had never even occurred to him that any of his grandchildren might have a reason not to want to be close to the Reagan family home here in Brooklyn.

###

"Alright everyone, I'm happy to report that as of tomorrow we should have a full roster available for duty once more," Jamie croaked out barely louder than a whisper as he struggled to hold his morning roll call meeting.

"Except for you, Sarge," Stan Rossi quipped from the back.

"Yeah, thanks... for that..." Jamie faded out as he tried to clear his throat and failed make any improvement. Eddie had been adamant that he stay home this morning after she caught one good look at him as he rolled out of bed slowly after the alarm sounded, but he was determined to make it to the end of this shift before raising the white flag and banging out sick for as long as necessary after that. Luckily thus far the mess had stayed out of his chest or he would have found himself cuffed and under a blond armed escort down to see Dr. Holden after last summer's pneumonia scare; instead his major symptoms were limited to a sore throat, laryngitis, body aches and a stubborn intermittently spiking fever. Just eight more hours and this extended tour of hell would be over. At this point he'd gladly take spending the whole day on Wednesday in the car with Eva now if it meant being able to stay on the couch under a blanket tomorrow.

"Rossi, since you like... to talk... you can step forward and finish up here for me," Jamie ordered in a barely audible scratchy vocal as he left his notes on the podium. "Stay safe everyone. Rodgers, I'll meet you at the car," he rasped out to the rookie who was normally attached to one of the other shifts but now pulling his second leg of a double, before leaving the room and heading back towards the locker area to search for some of the organic honey-lemon cough drops that Eddie swore by and had proven to be a godsend over the past twenty-four hours or so. A quick glance at his watch showed he was nowhere near the time for the next dose of ibuprofen and it was obvious that his fever was starting to ratchet up again. Any more pills though and soon he'd soon be looking at a good case of ulcers at the very least.

"Why am I doing this to myself?" he muttered as he sank down on the bench in front of his open locker with his aching head in his hands, suddenly too tired to stand and see if some of those treasured lozenges might remain on the top shelf. Any other officer who looked like this would have been dismissed immediately, but supervisors were not usually afforded that luxury, especially in times like this when staffing was low and there were no other sergeants available to cover this tour. Maybe it would be better to stay in the precinct today and only go out on a call if absolutely necessary though.

Jamie was still sitting there considering his options when the door opened and Lieutenant Carson walked in to end his first shift back with a tired, heavy sigh. He had likewise been quite ill for nearly the whole of the previous week, but had ended up admitted to the hospital for a day with a severe respiratory reaction so was not afforded a choice when it came to returning to work or not as the doctor had refused to clear him until today. He took one look at Jamie and shook his head.

"You look like death warmed over, Reagan," he muttered gruffly.

"That would be a giant step up from where I am now, Robert," Jamie offered a bit more informally seeing as it was just the two of them in the room at the moment. Since being transferred to the 3-5 the previous August after making his sergeant's stripes, he had gotten on well with his new CO and the two of them had established a good working relationship with the older man proving to be a strong mentor.

"You should bang in and go home," Carson advised as he started to take off his white Lieutenant's shirt and hang it up. "Trust me, this bug will knock you on your ass for a week otherwise. I'm still not over it."

"Can't," Jamie reiterated as clearly as his weak voice would allow although hope sparked as he spotted a half-bag of his precious honey drops that had fallen to the bottom of his locker and reached over to pop one in his mouth. "With Patterson and Andre still out today I've got no one to partner with Rodgers and we're at minimum staffing," he sighed as he sucked on the lozenge. "I'm just gonna have him drive us out to roll through our area a few times and pull it in before lunch. I'll ride it out at my desk the rest of the tour."

"Well watch yourself. Eloise just about had a fit when I ended up at the ER the other night. She's all worried that I won't be able to drive the truck out and bring the girls home from Michigan State next weekend when their college finals are over. Bumped into that Addison girl you were running around with last year though. She still seeing that rook of yours who transferred out of here… George? Wouldn't ever picture the those two together."

"Yeah, think so," Jamie affirmed with a small smile. He'd remained friends with Addison after dating her for a brief time before getting together with Eddie the previous fall and had introduced her to his former rookie partner as an exercise in boredom one afternoon last December when he had still been confined to a hospital bed after the explosion and building collapse at the Bridgewater construction site. He'd never really expected the two polar opposites to hit it off so well though, and it still made him chuckle to think about the pairing. George had flamed out as a patrol officer due to multiple phobias, but had found his niche in the CompStat division over at 1PP with his genius level math skills and had quickly become a trusted advisor to the Commissioner himself. _Who would have ever imagined that,_ Jamie thought tiredly as he tried unsuccessfully to talk himself into getting up once more. _George will wind up being a chief down there someday and I'll still be cleaning out squad cars after my tour._

Carson's locker banged shut as he finished changing and he paused for one final look at Jamie before clearing his throat and taking his leave. "I mean it, Reagan. I don't want to see your face in here again until you kick this thing. I know you had to pull a lot of doubles last week to cover for me and everyone else. You'll wind up killing yourself and I don't want to have to explain that to your old man or that blond-haired whirlwind from the 12th you call a fiancée. I'm not sure who I'm more scared of, but I think she'd come after me packing if you miss that wedding."

"Yeah, she might," Jamie laughed softly while he recalled how excited Eddie had been before he left that morning as she was getting Kaylin ready to take over to pick up her mom on the way to have her dress fitted at the bridal boutique. Not to mention the shoe shopping... Eddie loved shoes, he thought ruefully. He hoped there was a spare room at the new house that could be turned into her own walk-in closet as the clutter at the apartment was starting to grind on his nerves and he was finding it hard to relax there. Then again, the clutter at his Grandfather's old house was that magnified by a hundredfold. It was a lose-lose situation at the moment and he wistfully longed for the peace of mind he found in a well-ordered space.

Another brief glance at his watch showed it to be quarter after eight and well past time to get up and out to the car to get this tour started. He sighed as he grabbed his bag of throat drops and jacket before slamming his locker door to follow Carson out of the room. Seven hours and forty-five minutes to go.

Meanwhile outside the 3-5 precinct's front doors, rookie Officer Martin Rodgers paused to straighten out his hat and stretch before proceeding down the steps and out towards the motor pool lot once Rossi had dismissed the roll call meeting. His first shift overnight had been uneventful, and he was hoping for the same this time around, especially since he had drawn the ride with the boy king of the famous Commissioner Reagan family. Nothing like being paired up with royalty he sighed as he made his way up the sidewalk before being approached by a thin man in a blue shirt and jeans about his own age coming the opposite way down the street.

"Excuse me officer," the young, heavily tattooed man with piercing light blue eyes stopped him. "Can you please tell me where I might find Sergeant Reagan?" he asked politely.

"Oh, sure," Rodgers answered. "He's my partner today and should be out this way in just a minute. Do you want to wait or have me give him your name?"

"Oh, no. I'll just walk up and see if I can catch him coming out of the precinct or I'll stop by to see him later. It's not important. Thanks again for your help, Officer Rodgers," the man smiled as he made a point of reading the patrolman's nametag.

Rodgers nodded and tipped his hat before continuing towards their assigned car and busying himself running through the morning checklist. He paid no attention to the fact that the soft spoken stranger had instead proceeded across the street and climbed behind the wheel of an old dark two-door 1985 Mercury Marquis while keeping an intent eye on him.

Those same light blue eyes lit up in anger a few minutes later as he watched a sandy brown-haired officer with a gold shield and stripes on his blue NYPD windbreaker walk up and join the other officer in the vehicle. "So that's you, Sergeant Reagan," Jared Quinlan sneered as he reached underneath the seat and fingered the stainless .357 Magnum Smith and Wesson loaded with heavy rounds that he had stored there, a gun and ammo chosen specifically because of its reputation for having the rumored capability to penetrate kevlar vests at close range or cause great bodily damage even if it didn't… not that he intended to aim for the vest anyway if things worked out right.

"I've got a few friends that want to meet you," he smiled as he put the car into gear and carefully followed behind as the final RMP for this tour pulled away from the precinct. "And pretty soon you're gonna find out what happens to people who take things that belong to me," he promised with gritted teeth.

* * *

 _Whoa! So where did this Quinlan dude come from and why is he so angry with our beloved NYPD sergeant? The truth will not be clear for a while and that much anticipated wedding date will definitely be in jeopardy now as what should have been a happy day turns tragic and the whole family is in for a difficult time._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"So this Addison girl that Jamison keeps mentioning," Eva's voice wafted over the door as she and Kaylin waited outside the changing area while Eddie slipped into the sample gown. "Isn't that the one he was seeing before you?"

"Please don't do this... they're just friends, Mom," Eddie sighed with annoyance as she smoothed out the skirt and rooted around on the floor for her shoes. While her nose would wrinkle involuntarily whenever Addie's name was mentioned given the events of the summer before, she knew there was no real reason for the jealousy. Still it was completely inappropriate for her mother to bring it up here of all places, but that was par for the course as Eddie had discovered throughout her life. Eva Janko was actually a very nice person under her armor veneer but she seriously lacked a set of filters between her brain and mouth at times. "She's close to the family, and he wants her to have a look at Henry is all. Besides, she's been dating someone seriously for the past six months and Jamie's the one that set them up."

"If you say so," Eva mused as she glanced at the little girl sitting next to her quietly paging through one of her books as she happily swung her legs back and forth. If she had to give credit where it was due, it was obvious that Eddie and Jamie were managing to raise a rather well-behaved child as she'd discovered since they'd spent a great deal of time together the past few days.

"Grandma, LOOK!" Kaylin pointed at a picture and glanced at her, giving a big infectious smile and Eva could not help but involuntarily return the gesture warmly... still it had been odd to be referred to by that unfamiliar name for the first time since it wasn't something she had previously prepared for. Despite her initial misgivings, it was clear to her now that her daughter had indeed taken over as the little one's motherly figure with her future husband and his family's blessing. "Call me Nagyanya, baby," she murmured to the toddler as she preferred the Hungarian expressions, "And you are my unoka," she added quietly while giving Kaylin a quick hug and a kiss on the top of the head, surprisingly choosing the more affectionate term for grandchild over fogadott gyermek for one adopted or fostered.

"Did you say something, Mom?" Eddie called out as she adjusted her hair and prepared to make her grand reveal.

"No, lány," Eva replied as she impatiently waited to see what sort of bridal ensemble her daughter had picked. Her eyes lit up though as the door opened and her oft-hardened heart instantly melted.

"Oh, Edit… szép… you look just simply... beautiful," Eva Janko breathed as she watched her only child smile nervously as the attendant helped her step up on the platform near the front windows of the boutique to give her mother a first glance at the wedding dress she had tentatively chosen from over a hundred others, a delicate vintage lace piece with a sweetheart neckline, cap sleeves and a low v-back which showed off her figure to near perfection without the major poof of some of the other styles. "That's the one, baby," she nodded as Kaylin sat obediently next to her on the couch and clapped her hands in delight at seeing her Eddie bear dressed up like a princess.

"Are you sure, Mom?" Eddie questioned as she turned around to show off the line of buttoned detail and the relatively short court train. For some reason she had anticipated her mother pushing her towards a more heavy tulled skirt in the style of a formal A-line ball gown with a full Cathedral-style train that would take three people to push through a doorway. The fact that Eva appeared entranced with her first choice was rather shocking to her as she had come prepared for a bit of a battle since she couldn't see herself being married while looking like a typical cake-topper, and a dress like that would have looked completely out of place in the old, traditional-looking vestiges of the small church at the monastery.

"Igen… yes," her mother smiled as her reserved softer side was on full display at seeing her often tomboy-esque baby girl looking so radiant. Eddie smiled in relief. Perhaps this wedding planning wouldn't entail the struggle she had anticipated after all.

"The fit is just lovely, isn't it?" their consultant agreed as she adjusted the lines of the dress before bringing a matching veil over to set in place. "You could almost wear this straight off the rack," she smiled as she stepped back and took in the full picture. "Our seamstress will have very few adjustments to make. I can bring her out here to get started with your measurements once she arrives if you're sure this is your choice," she encouraged as she anticipated an easy first appointment of the day. It wasn't often that things were so far ahead of the game already at ten o'clock in the morning and she had pegged Eva for a hard sell the moment she had walked through the door. "I don't understand where she is; Penny is not often late. It should just be a few minutes if you don't mind waiting and I can bring out some coordinating flower girl frocks for the little girl to try on if you wish."

"Oh, yes!" Eddie said as she looked in the surrounding full-length mirrors while her eyes sparkled. "This is the one for us, isn't it Kaylin, baby?... Definitely! I can't wait until Jamie sees me in this, it's perfect!" she gushed as she gave a little hop and twirled around as a few passers-by on the street smiled through the storefront windows as they noticed her apparent joy.

###

Just ten blocks away from where Eddie was now delighting in her appointment, rookie Officer Martin Rodgers was precariously balancing a scrambled egg wrap and coffee for himself as well as a last minute impulsive purchase of a large honey tea for his unfortunate-looking gruff-voiced partner. He told himself it was never too early in one's career to make a good impression on upper management as he returned from the quick stop at a nearby food truck while their cruiser sat parked at the curb on a quiet tree-lined street after a relatively innocuous start to the tour, just as he'd hoped. Perhaps this double shift assignment would work out well for the day despite his earlier apprehension over his assigned partner, he thought to himself.

Rodgers had just settled himself back in the driver's seat of the RMP, ready to open his coffee and unwrap his sandwich after handing the tea over with a cheery "Here you go, sir, thought this might help," when he caught sight of a sudden movement to his right just in front of the squad car's windshield. His eyes opened wide in that instant as he recognized the figure of the young man he had spoken to outside the precinct now standing before them just slightly to the front of the passenger-side door while he leveled a large silver-plated gun directly into the car without a word. There was no time for either of the unsuspecting officers to react before the deafening sound of two separate shots rang out on the quiet street and the rookie felt a searing pain knife through his upper right arm and the side of his chest as the impact drove him hard into the driver's side door. He was vaguely aware of the surrounding screams of a hysterical woman outside somewhere on the street as innocent bystanders ran and ducked for cover while the young man with the gun calmly tucked it away underneath his open button-down shirt and walked north a few yards before turning right down an alley and disappearing without any apparent haste in his steps.

On instinct and despite being in clear shock, the rookie's shaking left hand reached up to key his mic as he sought help for himself and his partner. "Sir... sir," he gurgled as his damaged lung started to fill with his own blood, receiving no answer from the now-still form slumped to the right side of him. "Central, 3-5 Edward... 10-13 shots... fired..." he gasped with great effort before his head collapsed back down against the open car window. "We've been... hit..." he stuttered before trailing off.

All other forms of awareness left him as the frantic voices of the dispatchers filled the car begging for a response from either of the officers while the sounds of the approaching sirens faded away with the rest of the world.

###

Commissioner Frank Reagan was also enjoying a relatively quiet and productive morning in spite of the full contingent of appointments on the calendar as his assistant Detective Abigail Baker skillfully orchestrated his schedule down to the minute, moving appointees in and out with her usual charm and professional manner. DCPI Moore had been ushered in at precisely ten o'clock and the two had already successfully waded through several items on their agenda before arriving at the subject of new appointments as Garrett handed over the latest promotions list. Frank had just begun to scan the paperwork and paused to lean back in his chair as he picked up on a few familiar names on the first page.

"When's the next ceremony?" he inquired before leafing through the remaining two sheets.

"Next Tuesday at ten," Moore replied without looking up as he pushed his glasses back and reordered his to-do list. "I trust that will give you time to come up with another obscure inspirational quote from someone famous that no one has ever heard of before," he chided.

" _Love me or hate me, both are in my favor… If you love me, I'll always be in your heart… If you hate me, I'll always be in your mind."_ came the inevitable reply to such a challenge.

"Francis Xavier Reagan?" Garrett mused with familiar contempt as his phone began to buzz with a new message.

"William Shakespeare," Frank answered with notable satisfaction as their verbal sparring was held at a momentary truce.

All the humor in Garrett's eyes disappeared in a blink as he read the incoming text and shock leached into his expression just as the office door was flung open and Baker appeared with an equally stunned look on her normally infallible face. "Sir," she began without needing to finish before Frank looked up and knew in that instant that something terrible and likely life-altering had occurred. All that was left were the particulars of who and where, and in this instance it had to be personal given the absolute disbelief in the eyes facing him. He braced himself for the details that would inevitably follow.

"Sir, we have a 10-13, reports of multiple officers down on scene. Central received the first distress call six minutes ago."

So it was strictly an NYPD matter. That ruled out his father, Erin, Nicki, Linda, Jack, Sean and Kaylin as he did the mental math.

"9th and Wilshire."

Out of the 5-4 territory. Danny was likely safe. Eddie had taken personal days to plan the wedding while her mother was in town so that left only…

"3-5 Edward reported shots fired. There's been no answer from 3-5 Sergeant."

Jamie.

For just the second time in his life, Frank completely and wholly regretted the path he had chosen. His beautiful Mary had been taken from him after years of loving companionship by an act of nature, a single evil cell that formed, invaded and silently multiplied into many before there was time to stop it, but Joe… his middle son's death at the hands of corrupt cops within the NYPD was the direct result of Frank's own decision to follow his father in the Reagan family business. Had he made any other choice and taken another tack when his home was full of young impressionable children there would likely still be four of them filling the table on Sundays with laughter, soul mates and more grandchildren… four instead of just three… or God not another one of his boys gone, please not just two… not Jamie, his baby who had been through so much over the past year and now had everything to look forward to.

"What's the situation?" he managed to force out before his throat threatened to close off completely.

"911 calls suggest a single shooter, white male, approached the parked RMP on the right and fired two close range shots at the officers inside. Sir, your detail is waiting for you downstairs," Baker advised as she tapped her Bluetooth headset. "FDNY EMS Command indicates scoop and run now in progress for two victims en route to trauma unit at St. Victor's."

"Their status," Frank prodded flatly. He had uncharacteristically not moved one inch towards the door and Baker shot an anxious glance towards Garrett who had jumped to his feet after glancing once more at his phone. "Tell me who was assigned to that car," he demanded as he pursed his lips and remained stubbornly rooted in place.

"According to the precinct duty roster," she said as she checked her tablet, "first year Officer Rodgers, Martin, and Sergeant Reagan, Jamison. Both likely," she revealed with deep regret as she looked up and Lieutenant Ghormley suddenly appeared aside of her in the doorway with shock mirrored on his face. "We should really leave, sir."

"Frank," Garrett pleaded as he took a few steps closer to the desk with obvious concern radiating off of him at his boss's continued reticence. "You need to be there for him and the rest of the family. We need to go now. The press is already starting to run with this and they've got the squad's call numbers from a witness... if anyone hears 3-5 Edward reported they're going to assume..."

"My father's been ill," Frank advised almost on autopilot as he began inwardly to gather the Reagan flock… as was his habit he almost always instinctively knew the location of each member of his family. "Have a uniform go sit with him at home. Erin is in court on the Simpson trial. Nicki and the boys are in class. Linda is working at the hospital so…" he paused with a heavy swallow before continuing, no need to notify her. "Danny is on duty and Eddie is… oh God!" he breathed as he closed his eyes and leaned back as the full weight of the situation started to creep into his consciousness. "Eddie is out trying on her wedding dress with her mother," he gasped as he reached for his phone while still remaining in his chair. "She can't… can't find out like this…"

"Sir, we need to go now," Baker insisted as she nodded at Ghormley who joined Garrett on either side of the Commissioner as they each proceeded to take an arm to help him up. Never before in another situation had any of them witnessed the normally stalwart Frank Reagan rendered so instantly fragile. "I will take care of calling them," she advised as she held the door while the three men passed.

"The Rodgers family too," Frank added numbly as his PC responsibilities slowly started to filter past the shock now that his body was physically moving.

"Of course, sir," she assured as she followed behind, only allowing her professional veneer to crack with a silent gasp as she closed her eyes and prayed for strength after he had already gone by.

* * *

 _I told you this story got darker than I intended at points. Next, the Reagan family begins to converge at the hospital to hear the grim news as Frank struggles to cope with what's happened while still taking care of his obligations as the Police Commissioner and Eddie is in for the shock of her life._


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Eddie and Eva were still busying themselves at the appointment waiting for the seamstress to arrive as Kaylin was enjoying the spotlight while trying on her third dress when Eddie's attention was drawn outside to a pair of RMPs from a neighboring precinct as they flashed past on the street with lights and sirens blazing. An uneasy feeling settled in her stomach at the direct urgency of their travel towards the 3-5 territory as her mother looked up and frowned to see her daughter's stare following them down the block. "Edit, you are not working, don't let it concern you. Someone else can do that job today."

"I know, Mom... but Jamie's on duty," she answered while nervously chewing her lip as she tried to distract herself.

"I'm sure he's fine," Eva tutted. "What is it you tell me every time I worry? There's 34,999 other NYPD officers out there in the city at a given time. Please Edit, it's been a wonderful morning. Let's get these dresses ordered and go have lunch. This woman is not going to show up. Go change. You can always come back for the measurements on a different day."

Eddie was just about to take her mother's advice when a third squad car flashed by headed in the same direction just as a kindly older lady with a loud merry voice arrived from the back room. "I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, dear. My car wouldn't start at first and now there's some kind of terrible accident over on 9th. The police were blocking off all the intersections for two ambulances to go through up there and traffic was a nightmare. I never understand why they always feel the need to shut down the whole city like that. Just give me a minute to go get my measuring tape and the forms and I'll be right back," she assured.

"We don't block off streets like that for most accidents," Eddie muttered.

"Go back in the dressing room and get your phone and call him," Eva sighed as she noted her daughter's continued distraction. A glance to the side showed that Kaylin was still wearing one of the little white dresses she had tried on but had gone back to sitting on the couch and looking at her books again.

"He can't answer if he's at a scene," Eddie reminded.

"Then leave a message and he'll call you back," her mother offered. "If he's just working there's no problem, right?"

"I'm back dear, now let's get you settled over here on the platform," Penny urged as she returned. "Is there something wrong? Did you change your mind about the dress?" she questioned as she looked between the two women when she saw Eddie's concern mounting.

"No, there's no problem. This is the right dress... just get started with the fitting," Eva advised. "I'll go and get your phone so you can call him, baby. Is it in your purse?" she questioned and continued to the back when her daughter confirmed with a worried nod. "So this is the life you are choosing my lány," she sighed as she pulled the device out of the far pocket. Eddie had switched it to silent when they arrived for the appointment and Eva was surprised to see a number of text messages with references to an Edward and the same sequence of numbers she didn't quite comprehend, with the addition of a missed call from someone named Abigail Baker.

"Edit, I just don't understand all the jargon you young people use in these texts," Eva complained as she made her way back out to the floor. "They're impossible to read. You have four different numbers sending you virtually the same message and one missed call. Nothing from Jamison though."

"What are the messages, Mom?" Eddie asked over her shoulder as Penny had her standing with her arms up in the air as she measured her waist and bust. "Who called?"

"Something about three minus five, someone named Edward and the number one-thousand thirteen."

"OH GOD MOM!" Eddie gasped as her arms immediately came straight down and she pushed away from the stunned seamstress. "Let me see that!" she pleaded frantically as she turned and tried to run towards a shocked Eva while tripping over her heels and the train before going down hard to her knees.

"Baby, please stop! What's wrong? What did I say?" Eva cried as she reached for her daughter and the phone spilled out of her hands, flipping over twice before crashing down on the edge of the marble step and shattering the housing and screen. All three women stared at it in disbelief.

"Oh, please no!" Eddie begged as she crawled over and collapsed before picking up the pieces and staring at them. "Please, please no! Who? Who called?!" she demanded as she sprawled on the floor in what was to be her beautiful wedding dress and looked up at Eva's face as tears began to fall. "MOM, TELL ME WHO CALLED!" Frightened by the distressed urgent tone, Kaylin slipped off the couch, dropping her book to the floor in the process and came running over to be scooped up in Eddie's arms.

Poor Eva began to panic with her daughter's reaction and her mind went blank. "I can't remember!" she exclaimed. "A woman's name… something with an A... I think," she whispered as she kneeled next to Eddie. "I'm so sorry! Please tell me what this means, Edit!"

"Which way?" Eddie asked quietly as she rocked back and forth on the floor and held Kaylin as they were both crying. She looked up at the still-stunned seamstress standing near them. "Tell me, please! Which way were the ambulances going?!" she begged. A 10-13 call with intersections closed for an escort could only mean one thing…

"North towards midtown," Penny replied. "Please dear, let us get you up sweetie... can you tell us what's wrong?" she implored as the consultant who had been assisting them earlier came running from the back after hearing the commotion and the three of them helped pull Eddie to her feet as she continued to clutch the little girl.

"3-5 Edward... that's almost always Jamie's patrol car," she whispered as her eyes widened and met Eva's who had two hands softly circling her daughter's face and gently wiping her tears. "10-13 means... an officer is down. Oh anya, I think it's my Jamie!"

"It's all over the news, we have it on in the office," the consultant confirmed sadly with a frightened look as all of the pieces were falling into place for everyone. "They're reporting two officers were shot in their car... they've taken them both to St. Victor's but a witness said he heard the one in charge had died at the scene and the other was seriously wounded. I'm so very sorry," she added as the shock was mirrored in every face and Eddie just simply wilted with that news. "Let us know what we can do for you!"

"Help me," Eva begged as between the three of them they managed to keep Eddie on her feet with that revelation and began to guide her back towards the dressing room. "Please help me get them changed. Jamison's father is the Commissioner, Frank Reagan. Ring the local police station or whatever you call them here… and have them send a car. I need someone to drive us… I don't know where to go and I have to take my Edit to him!" she cried as she hugged her daughter and newly acknowledged granddaughter tight.

###

As had been done for the ambulances, the Police Commissioner's motorcade flashed through the city with a personal escort and blocked intersections, pulling up to the emergency entrance at St. Victor's hospital in record time as Frank Reagan's detail flanked him on all sides while he made his way blankly through a tunnel of blue uniforms already lining the way, their faces blurred in his vision and words unimportant as his only focus lay at the end of the hall and the familiar chief of surgery who was standing there waiting. "This way, sir," the grim man gestured as the smaller group was pulled through the double doors and into the privacy of the next hallway while two of his guards stopped and blocked any further passage behind them.

"How are my officers?" Frank managed to demand albeit weakly as his knees threatened to give way and he leaned up against the wall as Garrett and Sid once again took up protective positions on either side.

"Officer Martin Rodgers has been red-lined to surgery with a through and through gunshot wound to the upper right arm. The bullet entered his chest underneath the vest, collapsing his lung and causing extensive damage before lodging itself next to his spine at approximately T6. He was treated for hypovolemic shock and tachycardia in the field but we were able to repurfuse and establish a sinus rhythm after he arrived. I expect the surgery will take at least six hours if all goes well… but he's extremely critical from the trauma and the blood loss. Given the location of the bullet we can expect significant motor deficits as a result… paraplegia. He'll be kept on a ventilator in a medically induced coma for at least the next several days as we try to help him recover and heal that lung."

Frank's mustache twitched as he nervously gripped and bit his lips. He had expected the news on the other young officer to be given first all along and had prepared himself to hear and absorb it as part of his official duties, but at this moment there was only one update that he both needed and feared at the same time with every last fiber of his soul. His little boy was back there somewhere beyond yet another set of doors at this time, alone… just as Joe had been… "And…" he prodded with his last breath.

"The other officer," Dr. Richards stated with a look of utter sorrow on his face as he knew the pain this statement was about to inflict. "I'm so sorry, Frank. I know how hard this is for you. It was a single shot to the right side of the head. There was nothing we could do…" he started before the door at the far end of the hall opened with a bang and Linda Reagan came rushing through as one of the other nurses had summoned her and revealed that her father-in-law had arrived and looked to be near collapse in the hallway. Indeed, Garrett and Sid were forced to catch their boss as he began involuntarily to slip down towards the floor while Baker looked on in stunned silence.

"What are you all doing?!" Linda demanded as she ran up and put her hands on Frank's arm. "Get him into a chair!" she ordered as one was quickly provided and she went down on one knee beside him, grabbing his wrist to take a pulse reading. "Frank, please look at me! You need to breathe and calm down!" she cried as her training kicked in above all else and his health was first and foremost on her mind. "We need a portable oxygen and get a blood pressure cart over here! What are you waiting for?" she barked at Dr. Richards, essentially her ultimate boss and a noted hardass with an over-inflated ego that was easy to bruise.

"I see that you have the situation well in hand, nurse Reagan," he replied sharply. "I'll just go check in on how the surgery is going," he said with a frown as he did not appreciate being dressed down in front of the Police Commissioner by a subordinate, however, given the tense situation and her rather direct relationship to the powerful man in front of him he thought it best to remove himself from the area before dealing with her in a way he'd be sure to regret.

"Linda, I have to know," Frank begged, ignoring the unimportant fray as he pushed away the other nurse's hands as she attempted to put a nasal cannula near his face. "Where is he? Please?"

Linda gave him a brief sad glance as she averted her eyes while they welled up and the tears ran over as she continued to attend to him by slipping his arm out of the jacket and rolling his sleeve so she could put the pressure cuff on. "I'm so sorry, Frank," she replied softly. "He's in the back in the trauma room. The EMTs got there quickly and were able to ventilate him and keep his heart going, but there's no real brain activity. He's gone," she whispered as her chin trembled. "The LiveOnNY people would like to talk to the family when everyone gets here since he is listed as an organ donor."

Frank sank further back down into the chair and stared back in disbelief. His greatest fear was now confirmed. All that was his youngest son Jamison had been ripped away in a single, senseless act of violence and there was already talk about decisions that needed to be made. He could not comprehend how Linda had been able to get those words out of her mouth in such an even fashion, except that's what people in their position did… exactly what he would have to do himself in a few minutes if he was able to get up and face the Rodgers family to tell them that their son would never walk again… if he was lucky enough to make it that far.

"Frank, your blood pressure is through the roof," Linda worried as she read the monitor. "You have to calm down or you're going to end up admitted yourself." Baker had been pacing up and down the hall for the past few minutes and they both looked up in a daze as she hurried back over.

"I've found her," she offered as she caught her boss's eye. They had been unable to locate Eddie previously and all calls to her phone had gone unanswered or directly to voicemail now and Baker knew that was weighing heavily on Frank's already over-taxed heart. "Sandra's Bridals on North Avenue… they've heard," she admitted with a soulfully pained look. "I talked to the people in the office… her phone is broken but a unit from the 1-8 was dispatched and is escorting them in. They should be here in a few moments."

Linda shot the Commissioner's assistant an annoyed glance. "Can't you people give us a minute? We need to take care of _him_ right now, not worry about someone else," she commented while shaking her head. "Sometimes family needs to come before the damn job for a change!"

Baker, Moore and Ghormley all shared a puzzled look, attributing her sharp words as a response to the extreme stress of the situation while Frank finally managed to find his voice again. "Take me to see him," he demanded gruffly with immense sadness as he started pulling the blood pressure cuff off and pushing himself out of the chair. Linda just shook her head, knowing that there was no way to stop her father-in-law when he had that tone.

"Emily, please go clear the trauma room," Linda ordered as she took Frank's arm and helped him to his feet as his detail once again took up positions to hover closely. Frank forced his now deadened legs to carry him down the hall towards the lonely door Linda had emerged from and he stopped for a second to pray to Mary for strength before nodding to his daughter-in-law as she hit the button and they made their way through the entryway together.

Frank's stunned eyes fell on the younger man he knew so well as he lay on the table, held closer in appearances to life than death only by the tenuous grip of the machines that forced air into lungs that had now forgotten how to breathe on their own… the devastating damage done by that large caliber bullet confined to the far side of the sandy-brown hair and mercifully still hidden out of sight as the blood and other matter had been cleaned away. He was dumbfounded as he blinked hard and his already weakened constitution threatened to give way once more at the scene before him as Linda wrapped her arm around his back to steady him.

"Oh, God in Heaven," he murmured in disbelief as there were no other words to be had for the longest time as they stood still, bracing each other in an uncomfortable silence. "He's not... there's no chance?"

"The doctors will wait and see," she revealed quietly. "They'll give him some time before they call it… they have to, but no, Frank… I don't think he'll ever wake up again."

"Linda, please help me," he whispered. "I need to talk to my son."

###

Just as Frank had found himself drained and weakened by the news and the inevitable need to face the ugly reality at the hospital, Eddie was likewise struggling to keep her feet moving forward as every small fact before her had already confirmed her greatest fear. Neither of the two officers from the 1-8 who had arrived in haste to pilot them to the hospital had managed to hold eye contact, and the young patrolman who had taken the wheel of her own car to drive them to St. Victor's behind the escort of the lights and sirens ahead had been notably silent given that he had graduated with her in the same academy class and they knew each other well. Kaylin was still often afraid of loud noises so it had been decided that it would be better to remain in their own vehicle rather than to further traumatize the already upset toddler with a ride in an RMP. When asked he had been unable or unwilling to confirm anything further then what had been reported on the news… a single gunman had opened fire with two shots into a parked cruiser with both officers struck and removed from the scene immediately with obvious resuscitation efforts underway. One was now reported to be in surgery, and the other… no comment was being offered, which of course spoke volumes on its own. No comment until the family notifications were made, everyone knew what that meant. It would be better if they just came out and said that instead of prolonging the obvious and offering hope that was no longer there.

Eddie stared blankly out the window without seeing or comprehending where they were in the familiar territory until suddenly the hospital doors appeared and Eva was clutching her arm as she held Kaylin and pulled her daughter out of the car. "Where do we go, baby?" her mother asked nervously as she shifted the child over to her other hip and stared inconceivably at the nearly solid wall of blue uniforms before them. Despite the fact that her daughter had graduated from the academy into this world almost three years previously, the concept of the law enforcement brotherhood was foreign to her and Eva had no idea how large and tightly knit the whole of the NYPD family really was. Now dressed in a more comfortable pair of white slacks with a sleeveless mint green sweater and escorted by a woman sharply dressed in heels and a modern business-type suit, Eddie felt oddly out of place… suddenly relegated to the role of a grieving family member instead of a fellow officer.

Unable to face the walk through the impervious looking blue barrier ahead, Eddie pulled her mother to a quieter side entrance since she was well acquainted with the ER setup here and knew that the back hallway would take her directly to where she wanted to go… to the trauma area where Jamie would be. No matter the sad outcome now, her heart was just overcome with the need to find him… to touch him and let him know that she and Kaylin were there and she would keep her promise to her own dying breath that their little girl would be safe and loved forever. No one was expecting her to appear to the side near a small private seating area as Baker had been charged with locating her post arrival in the front lobby while Frank had somehow managed to regained his composure to the point of being able to speak to Martin Rodgers' parents who had been escorted back to him just moments earlier.

"I'm so sorry Gale and Adam," she heard him reveal as he grasped the other woman's hands while Eddie took two steps forward and paused next to the small couch and chair setting. Eva remained a respectful distance behind in the doorway holding Kaylin. "Your son Martin has been taken to surgery. The doctors have assured me that he has a good chance of survival but the bullet was able to bypass his vest and is lodged near his spine…"

Those were the last words Eddie perceived as despite her earlier thoughts of acceptance and resolve, hearing Frank admit from his own mouth that Rodgers was the officer likely to survive was too much for her heart to bear, and she immediately collapsed in a sudden dead faint… a boneless descent to the ground broken only by the sound of her mother's scream before deep blackness overcame as her head struck the corner of the granite coffee table with a sickening thud and a small pool of redness began spilling on the linoleum floor.

* * *

 _Poor Eddie, and that's all I have to say about that. Next up, Danny arrives in shock himself and some of the focus is forced to shift towards finding the shooter as Frank and Eva join forces at her daughter's bedside to try to break the news to her._


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

A subtle, evenly spaced... beep… beep… beep… was the first small bit of awareness to permeate Edit Janko's mind as she was unhurriedly drawn back towards a state consciousness… increasingly aware of the hushed voices in attendance on either side of her that were pleading for a response in one fashion or another with soft hands touching her face and circling around her clenched fists, but she had absolutely no desire to comply. Her heart had been quite simply shattered beyond repair and then further torn up into mere dust particles to be blown away to the four corners of the earth. Jamison Reagan was truly gone and her life's blood had been drained away with no hope of return... that was until she heard a small little voice close by calling out for her Eddie bear.

Kaylin.

Eddie's eyes immediately snapped open in panic and those same soft hands now became stronger as they held her down while she struggled against them, crying out with anger and fighting to pull the oxygen mask off her face so she could get up and be near her little girl… not yet comprehending the meaning of the muted words offered by a familiar deep voice trying to break through the shock and put right the horizon of her world once more.

"Eddie, sweetheart... _please,"_ Frank Reagan implored again as he held her hand and shoulder on the right side and grappled with emotions that still stung his own soul as he knew full well the weight of the facts he was about to reveal. "Eddie, please try to hear me, it's Frank... I know you're frightened and confused but you _have_ to listen… it wasn't him, sweetie," he choked out, stunned by the raw emotions reflected in her blue eyes when they involuntarily snapped over to meet his as her brain was desperate to hear the words that her heart could not yet accept. "It wasn't Jamie in that squad car today."

"Baby, he's telling you the truth, you must calm down… it wasn't Jamison," her mother's voice echoed from the other side as she gripped her daughter's left hand in a shaking cold vice grip that failed to draw any attention. Seeing her own child in such despair after collapsing in front of her was tearing at Eva's normally impermeable defenses, but she could not get a response either even while she softly caressed and brushed the blond hair away from the bandage and to the side of the stunned face. Eddie's focus was now locked on the only person in the room capable of reaching her right now.

"That's right now… look at me, Eddie," Frank demanded in a more authoritative tone as he had successfully captured her attention although she once again appeared frozen and unable to respond. "Just breathe… relax and breathe… honey, you need to understand. Jamie was _not_ hurt, okay? He was _not_ in that car. Please believe me."

"But you... said… I heard you..." she managed finally as she was shaking her head in disbelief and her muffled voice rasped from underneath the plastic mask while the tears streamed forth and an internal war erupted within her mind between what she already knew for a fact and what she wanted desperately now to believe.

Lies…

They were all lying to her now in an effort to get her to calm down and respond. It had to be. She'd seen it with countless victims in this very hospital and the fear rocked back solidly once more then as she started to gasp and verged on hyperventilating while the attending nurse quickly adjusted the IV and injected a touch of short-acting anti-anxiety medication to calm her as a faceless doctor mumbled some irrelevant instructions in the background. "3-5 Edward… Jamie's car… one down on scene… you told family... Rodgers in surgery… _hurts_..." she cried as she tried to reach up to feel the side of her forehead where a nasty cut was still bleeding profusely through a thick square of gauze that had been hastily taped there as Eva forced her to keep her hand away.

"No, no, sweetie," Frank struggled to reassure once more as she began involuntarily to sink back down on the bed as the drugs took the desired effect. "Eddie, please try to relax… you hit your head on a table when you fainted. We're not sure exactly what's happened yet. Jamie _was_ supposed to be in that car this morning according to the duty roster, but it was Lieutenant Carson who was riding with Rodgers when they were shot. He's the officer who is down. I swear to you… I went in and saw him myself not fifteen minutes ago." Frank took a deep breath as he silently recounted making the stunning discovery that had left him virtually speechless after Linda had led him back to the trauma room.

"No! Jamie... was sick…" she cried as she continued to grasp his hand while her head grew heavy and her thoughts muddled once more but were easier to express as the panic quelled slightly. "Told him... to stay home… but he left... _Where is he?_... please… Kay..."

"We're not sure where he is at the moment… he's not answering his phone, but I'm going to have Danny find him and bring him to you; I promise and Kaylin's right here," Frank motioned to Baker who had run back into the hall to step into the middle of the fray when Eddie had collapsed and scooped the little girl up. "She's fine… right here," he repeated as they set her down and let her curl up on the bed as Eva ignored the doctor and other nurses and raised the back so they both could sit up a little. Eddie's arm instinctively encircled the toddler protectively in an effort to ground herself in the present. "There… you've got her now, okay? Linda's going to stay with you and your mother. I have to go and handle this situation but I'll be just outside in the hall until we get you settled," he said as he reached down to kiss her forehead and gently wipe some tears away. "Sweetheart, I know how hard this is but everything's going to be okay now," he promised.

"She's still in shock, Frank," Linda worried as she pulled her father-in-law to the side before he left the room. "You need to figure out where Jamie is and get him down here... I don't think anything else will help at this point. We're going to have to admit her regardless. She needs a plastic surgeon to come down for stitches and a CT to rule out a serious concussion or anything worse since she was unconscious for several minutes. The doctor will want to keep her overnight for observation at the very least."

"I'm working on it, Linda. Danny's on his way over," he assured with a hand on her shoulder as Garrett suddenly appeared in the doorway and motioned for the Commissioner to join him. "Excuse me," he sighed as he made his way over to his long-trusted advisor. There was no time to allow his own feelings to resurface yet as there were still orders to be given and another grim task to perform with the heaviest of hearts as the Carson family now had to be notified. Above all there was a cold-hearted cop killer to be found, and he needed to locate his son quickly for his own peace of mind.

"We just got word from the precinct that Jamie clocked out about twenty minutes after start of shift. Carson must have sent him home and then neglected to update the car assignments at the front desk which explains the confusion," the DCPI revealed as they were joined in the hall by Lieutenant Ghormley. "Renzulli sent an RMP to sit at his apartment but there's no sign of him there so far. We've issued an alert for his car."

"Have TARU ping his phone and send the results directly to Danny," Frank ordered. "He should be here any minute." Indeed, his oldest son and his partner Maria Baez could be seen hurrying over moments later after the elevator doors dinged open once more.

"All tours are extended until further notice," Frank continued as he watched them approach. "Sid, the 3-5 will be short of ranking officers and they're already running on a skeleton crew with what's happened. I want Renzulli moved over there forthwith. He's due for the bump to Lieutenant and knows the territory and most of the officers so they will accept him immediately. Eddie's partner, Mark Wilson, is on the short list for a sergeant's post. Have him take over at the 12th and get them both down here so I can talk to them."

"Yes, sir," Ghormley replied as Danny joined them with clear disbelief radiating from him as he struggled to come to terms with the situation. Eddie was not the only one who had been momentarily misinformed about who was in that cruiser and he had been in a state of near panic before that second call had come in from his father after he'd made the startling discovery about who was really lying in that trauma room. "TARU is pulling all camera feeds within a ten-block radius but so far there's nothing on the shooter once he ducked into that alley. The entire area's been cordoned off and is being searched. It's likely he changed his appearance or just blended in with the crowd. Nondescript white male, early twenties, tattoos. Brown hair 5-10 170, blue buttoned shirt and jeans. No one got a close look and there's not much to go on. We have no clear pictures of him. Hopefully Rodgers can ID him once he's out of surgery or we'll get a hit on the ballistics."

"Baez, you will be on point," Frank declared. "Give her whatever she needs, Sid," he followed up as he grabbed Danny's shoulder and led him away a few steps. "You okay, son?" he asked worriedly.

"Yeah…" Danny stuttered with a deep huff as he looked around nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. "I mean _now,_ yeah… this is unreal. Where is he, Dad?"

"That's what I want you to figure out," Frank answered as he quickly filled his oldest in on what was known and the events that had just transpired with Eddie. "You need to find Jamie and get him down here immediately for her," he added. "Garrett has TARU pinging his phone and sending you the results. Best we can figure is that Carson might have sent him home sick after roll call but he's not made it back to his apartment yet and no one has heard from him. Linda's in there with Eddie," he added as he nodded back to the room knowing that Danny would want to check in with his wife. "You can join Maria on the investigation once you've brought your brother in. This whole situation is going to upset him greatly."

"Ya think?" Danny replied somewhat cockily and without giving consideration to whom he was speaking. Frank was in full Commissioner mode now but his oldest son only had a focus for his brother at the moment. "Dad, what if there's more to it than that?" he worried as his detective brain steamed ahead. "Do we really know something else hasn't happened to him? I mean why isn't he answering?"

"Horses," Frank reminded. "Until we know differently those hoofbeats mean horses and not zebras, Dan. Odds are he's fine and just out of touch at the moment. Go see if you can confirm that _now,_ please," he begged as his attention was once again drawn back to Garrett who was motioning him over with one hand while the other glued a phone at his ear. "I've checked with your grandfather and Erin and neither one knows where he is. Keep me apprised, son," he said as he hurried back over to confer with his DCPI.

Danny could only shake his head at the controlled chaos that surrounded his father like a shifting whirlwind whenever something terrible like this went down in the department, but he wasn't ashamed to thank God that this time they were on the other side of it, especially after the fear that had nearly paralyzed him in those minutes when the conflicting reports were coming in this morning. The Reagan family had already paid their dues with Joe he justified in his mind against the guilt of the heavy relief that had washed over him when it was confirmed that it was some other officer's family who would receive that dreaded news today and all the heartache it brought… if it had been Jamie instead…

Those thoughts were instantly magnified as he stepped into the room and was stunned at the sight of his little brother's love now completely wilted on the bed with a bloody bandage on her forehead holding Kaylin near who was chattering softly about fixing some bear's boo-boos, Eva still gripping her hand and Linda sitting on the edge of the mattress rubbing Eddie's legs underneath the blanket and talking to her in an effort to have her feel something and keep focused. Everyone's eyes instantly fell on him though as he walked over and quickly pulled his wife in for a hug.

"Any news?" she asked hopefully.

"Not yet. Garrett said Jamie clocked out right after shift started. They think Carson might have sent him home sick. We're still waiting on TARU to track his phone. Should be any second now," he added as he released her and reached down to embrace Eddie as she sobbed once more into his shoulder. "It's gonna be alright," he assured as she clung to him like a lifeline. "I'll find him. I promise."

As if on cue, the phone buzzed in his pocket and everyone's breath caught. "Got it. He's at 152 Westmont Street," he relayed as he looked up and the recognition of the familiar address hit them all. "That's…"

"My apartment!" Eddie gasped as she again ripped off the oxygen mask, frustrated once more by its annoying presence, but now finally grounded firmly back in touch by that revelation and the hope that flared with it. "But why would he go there? There's nothing left… only an old couch and a rug he hates so much that I'm throwing it out. The lease is up tomorrow."

"My guess… he might have stopped there because it's closer to the 3-5 than his place," Danny surmised. "If he really wasn't feeling well, maybe he's asleep or his phone is off… He probably doesn't have a clue as to what's happened. I mean God, he looked like the walking dead last night at dinner. Do you still have a landline?"

"No!" Eddie replied urgently as Linda and Eva once again tried to settle her down. "I turned it off last week! You can call Miss Rosie across the hall and have her go check… we have to go see..."

"No, no, nuh-uh, no way Jose," Danny said firmly as he grabbed her arm and kept her rooted to the bed. " _We_ aren't going anywhere. The entire family would take turns filleting me into little pieces and feeding me to the goldfish in the Central Park pond if I let you do that, starting with Jamie. _You_ are staying right here where you belong. This whole thing is gonna be a real shock to him too. I don't want him to try to drive on his own once he hears, so I'm gonna leave right now and go pick him up myself, alright? I promise I'll keep him safe and let you know he's okay as soon as I get there."

"Oh, right... thanks... Danny," Eddie breathed as she relaxed back and hugged Kaylin tight once more. "My keys are somewhere… in my purse… I think. Mom?" Eva quickly rushed over to the chair and retrieved them before handing the set over as Danny accepted with grim smile towards the older woman. He was grateful to see that she was at least being more supportive than he had been expecting at this point, given her apparent negative views on the NYPD to start with.

"Try to get her cleaned up a little before we get back," Danny whispered to Linda while he nodded back towards Eddie as he stopped at the doorway and his wife walked over. "I mean the last thing the kid needs to see is her looking like that or we're going to be picking him off the floor too!" he said shaking his head.

"I _am_ trying, Danny," Linda defended, anger flaring as she sensed he was criticising her once more. "She hit her head and was in shock. You don't know what it's like to be on the other side of this! The one waiting to hear!"

"Of course I do!" he hissed, annoyed at the tone and the now completely familiar argument between them that was coming to the forefront once more. "I'm the one that got that news when you were shot, didn't I? And how do you think I felt this morning when Dad called? What about him when he drove the whole way over here thinking it was his son that was in that cruiser? Huh? We all know how that feels and I guarantee you that Jamie's gonna find some way to blame himself. We need to find the son of a bitch that did this and put him in a hole as soon as possible before it eats the kid alive!" he spat as he stalked off, pausing to pull on his father's arm and let him know where he was going before disappearing down the hall at a near jog.

Linda pursed her lips and spun on her heel to return to Eddie's bedside after watching him go, and Frank barely had a few seconds to process the relief he felt with the knowledge that his youngest was likely safe before Garrett approached once more with a grim look.

"Mrs. Carson is on her way up," he revealed. "Eloise. Identical twin daughters… Tara and Jenna, both in their freshman year in college at Michigan State."

"Christ, Garrett," Frank muttered darkly with a heavy sigh as he rubbed his forehead while pursing his lips and rocking back on his heels. His hands were uncharacteristically trembling. This was going to be one of the most difficult notifications he had ever made… a seemingly random act of violence under circumstances which thus far made little sense. "How am I supposed to face this woman and tell her that her husband's been killed for no reason while being thankful that he took my own boy's place in that car today?"

In a rare public display of personal support, the DCPI's hand was firmly gripping Frank's shoulder as they both turned to meet the opening elevator doors and the frantic eyes of the middle-aged woman being escorted out of it by a uniformed officer.

"Eloise," Frank began with a large lump in his throat as he took her hands, "I'm so very sorry…"

* * *

 _So a very difficult turn of events for all involved even though Jamie is thankfully still with us as we move on. Next up, Danny breaks the terrible news to his brother before he and Baez can start to work the case as the identity of the shooter and the motive behind the violence remains unclear. Was it actually a random attack as is believed at the moment or will the truth stun everyone and threaten to haunt the Reagans as they try to move forward?_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Danny's heart was pounding with apprehension as he quickly climbed the stairs to Eddie's soon-to-be-former little third-story walk-up apartment. He had been relieved to find Jamie's locked black Ford Mustang parked neatly just down the street after a quick glance inside proved it to be empty. Despite his overwhelming desire to confirm that he'd found his unaccounted for sibling, Danny did hesitate for a few seconds to gather his thoughts before softly knocking at the door and turning the key in the lock. He was both reassured and concerned to find his little brother curled up in an apparent deep sleep on a small, somewhat outdated and worn sea foam green loveseat sitting next to an old furry white area shag rug in the middle of an otherwise completely empty space. It would have been an almost comical scene given any other circumstances. The kid was breathing evenly and deeply, but had obviously been in a highly fevered state recently as his shirt was soaked through in sweat and his face was still flushed. Danny shook his head as he quietly walked over and picked Jamie's phone off the almost obscenely poofy rug where it looked to have fallen out of his hand and was rendered virtually silent on vibrate only.

"Oh, Harvard, you could have saved us all a lot of grief you know…" he muttered under his breath as he glanced at the screen full of missed notifications before turning the device off and slipping it into his own pocket. There was much to be said before he allowed his brother to look at those messages. He paused for just a few seconds more to send out a brief text of his own to the entire family affirming that Jamie had been successfully located and was safe before kneeling down and touching his arm in an attempt gently to rouse him. Danny was relieved to feel cool skin beneath his fingers as the fever had obviously run its course and broken. Jamie moaned slightly at his contact and his tired hazel eyes soon slipped opened in confusion.

"Hey, sleepyhead. You gonna wake up now?"

"Danny," Jamie rasped as he ran the back of his hand across his arid, dry lips and squinted at the early afternoon light now streaming in the small bare living room windows. "What… what are you doing here?"

"Well, obviously I was looking for you, genius," his brother retorted lightly. Danny had never been one to display an overabundance of tact, but he was determined to handle this situation with as much sensitivity and diplomacy as he could muster to try to soften the blow. At that moment though he wanted nothing more than to pull the kid into his arms and hold him like he'd always done when Jamie was a small boy, so that's what he did. "C'mon, sit up a little," he ordered as he pulled his brother by the shoulder before sliding into the seat himself and pushing him back down on his lap.

"Danny, are you nuts? Get away from me, I've gotta be contagious!" Jamie growled hoarsely as he tried to jerk away but his older brother was having none of it and kept a firm grip on his shoulder to keep him from getting up. "You want to wind up like this? What the hell have you been smoking today?"

"Look around, Harvard. Do you see anywhere else to sit? Besides you're drenched in sweat... it's over and your fever's gone. You're not gonna make me sick now."

"That's after 24-hours you idiot," Jamie frowned as he shivered a bit in his damp clothing. "Don't you pay attention to anything when your kids go to school? There's a reason they have to be fever-free for a whole day before they allow them back," he observed as he gave in somewhat with a sigh and turned to lay on his back with his feet dangling over the opposite armrest from the knees down. Eddie had always referred to this as their special date night chair since it was such a tight fit if they squeezed in together they inevitably found themselves on top of one another which often led to other things. Still, it was just weird though to be sitting here with his brother this way. "Now seriously, what are you doing here?" he croaked through the intermittent laryngitis as he stared up at the gruff face above.

"I told you... I was looking for you," Danny repeated as he pulled down the old handmade afghan that was still resting on the back of the furniture and covered his brother with it to ward off the chill. "I was worried after seeing you at dinner last night… you weren't at the 3-5 or answering your calls, and I happened to spot your car here while I was driving through," he lied blatantly, an art form perfected after years of facing tough perps in the box on a daily basis. "So I came up after I talked to Eddie and her neighbor Miss Rosie let me in." That was nearly the truth and enough minutia to pass as genuine fact for now. As much as he hated to admit it, Danny was in interrogation mode and he needed to get Jamie talking about what went down at the precinct that morning to filter as much useful information out as possible before he inevitably upset him with the details and the younger man went into shock and clammed up. "Besides, you used to lay on me like this all the time when you were little, remember? That's the only way you could watch a scary movie until you were like… what? Twenty? I used to cover your eyes during all of the bad parts until it was safe to look." Danny desperately wanted to do that again in this very moment... to put blinders on Jamie and take away the pain that he was about to inflict and hide it away, but this was real life and there was no way to spare the kid from what was coming next.

"Yeah, you used to cover my eyes during all of the good parts too," Jamie conceded with a small smirk as he relaxed back down. It was kind of nice to take comfort in these pleasant memories for a change, especially with his often contentious brother and he was starting to feel much better than he had before as the damn virus had seemed finally to give in after two days of waging a war on his body. "I think I missed about three-quarters of 'Pretty Woman' every time it was on until I went away to college. I never even knew she was singing that one song from under the bubbles in the bathtub until Sydney and I saw it one weekend."

"You were like five or six when that movie came out and Julia Roberts played a prostitute… what did you think I was supposed to do when they started making out? Let them corrupt you?"

"You watched it all the time."

"I had a thing for tall redheads," his brother admitted with a heavy nostalgic sigh. Besides, I was fifteen, and it was a classic chick flick. All the girls loved it."

"Not Linda. Now why were you looking for me, Danny?"

"Dad was concerned," the older man admitted with a slight change of direction as he prayed he'd eventually be forgiven for what he was about to do. "He called over to the precinct to check on you when you didn't answer your phone and he saw you were listed on the duty roster for today, but you weren't in the car when they radioed."

"Oh, crap... I guess the assignments didn't get changed at the desk," Jamie admitted as he rubbed his head. "Sorry. It was such a last-minute thing. I lost my voice at roll call and went back to the locker room to try to find some cough drops when Lieutenant Carson was leaving. He had second thoughts about sending me out on patrol the way I looked I guess and came back in a minute and told me to go home… said he wasn't going to be the one that had to call the Commissioner and tell him I dropped over in the hallway again like Renzulli did last summer. He said he'd ride with Rodgers today since I pulled four doubles to cover for him last week when he was out sick. Is Dad mad about the log? It was stupid to forget, but I felt like such crap that I couldn't even make it home so I stopped here just to take a nap since it's quiet… and not so cluttered…"

"No, Dad's not mad… he was just worried, that's all," Danny assured softly as he made probably one of the greatest understatements of his life and put his hand on his brother's shoulder. It was time to start opening this up and there was no easy way to do it… everything just needed to be ripped apart with the rough edges exposed so that somehow they could start to put the pieces back together again. He needed to get Jamie back to the hospital for Eddie, and it was apparent now that he likely had no real information to offer about the events that took place after he clocked out. Still, he tried one last pry. "Did you notice anything out of the ordinary when you left the precinct this morning?"

That comment fully caught Jamie's attention, and he successfully pulled himself up in a sitting position and stared at his brother intently now. Concern began radiating off of him in place of the fever that had been allowed to flashover. "No, I didn't see anything wrong, we didn't even start the day yet. What's going on, Dan?" he asked evenly. "Did something happen? Is everything alright?"

"No kid, everything's not alright," his older brother admitted sadly, unashamed that there were tears now welling up in his eyes. "We almost lost somebody in the family today," he added all but soundlessly with a tight throat.

"Gramps?!" Jamie gasped. Damn it, he should have guessed there was more to this then a concerned older brother just stopping by to check on him. He frantically looked around for his phone but couldn't remember where he had put it. "What's going on? I knew he didn't look good the other day. I should have insisted that he…"

"No, Jamie! Stop! Grandpa is fine," Danny assured before he took a deep breath. "It was you," he added quietly with a waver in his voice and a renewed look of shock plainly written on his face.

"WHAT?! DANNY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? You're not making any sense!" Jamie pitifully tried to shout in a near panic as his voice faded off to nothing while he fended off his brother's attempt to grab his arm.

"KID, LISTEN TO ME!" Danny demanded as his voice echoed off the hardwood floor in the near-empty space and he was finally successful in his attempt to snatch Jamie's damp shirt and hang on. "I promise I'll tell you everything, but you just need to sit tight and listen until I'm finished! Okay?" He continued as soon as he saw his little brother had been rendered silent for a moment. "Carson and Rodgers were in the car on 9th and Wilshire having coffee and writing a report after a call around ten this morning when a guy walked up out of nowhere on the passenger side and opened fire on them," he paused as he watched virtually every drop of blood drain from Jamie's face. "Rodgers took one to the side of the chest that managed to slip by his vest, but he was able to call it in. He's in surgery now at St. Vic's. Docs say he's likely paralyzed from the waist down though… hollow point rounds, there's a lot of damage..."

"Carson?..." Jamie mouthed without a sound as almost every function in his body had seemed to cease. His stunned eyes managed finally to blink once as he sat stiffly back up against the couch. "He's…?"

Danny just shook his head at first. "I'm so sorry, kid. He took one almost point blank to the side of the head. They rushed him in but he was long gone before they even got there... LISTEN! THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!" he insisted as he could see the shock wave overcome his brother's brain as he began to stare numbly straight ahead, and there were still such difficult details to reveal.

"Jamie, I know this is hard but need you to stay with me," Danny implored as he shifted over to kneel in front of the couch on that damn white rug so he could be in his brother's direct line of vision. "Kid, you have to understand. The car assignments weren't updated and everyone saw you at roll call ready to ride with Rodgers. We were all told… 1PP was notified… Dad didn't even know until he got to the hospital and went in the back that it wasn't you and the media bastards somehow found out that a ranking officer from 3-5 Edward was down on scene…"

"Oh, God," Jamie managed all at once to breathe in his blank white vacuum of space. He somehow sensed that particular bit of information had to be relevant to something else that his brother was trying to get across to him, but his normally sharp brain had been rendered impotent and none of the standard connections were being made until one image snapped forward of a blond-haired woman standing in a white dress next to a little girl in a bridal store. "Eddie!" he gasped.

"She heard and went to the hospital thinking the worst," Danny admitted. He had both hands on his brother's knees at this point, ready to intercept him if he tried to run for the door when the last part was disclosed. "When she got there, Dad was telling the Rodgers family that he was in surgery and she assumed…"

Jamie's wide eyes shot up and locked on his brother in a hollow stare… surely there wasn't anything worse to add…

"...she assumed that meant you were the one down and fainted and hit her head on some kind of table before anyone could get to her. She's okay, though," he insisted as he used his strategic position quickly to push his brother back on the couch before he could bolt as he had feared. "Hold on now... they were treating her for shock, but I talked to her myself before I came here. We had to ping your phone to find you. She was knocked out for a couple of minutes and got a nasty cut on the side of her head that'll need a few stitches, but she's gonna be fine. Do you hear me?" Danny begged as he searched his brother's eyes for some hint of comprehension while maintaining a firm grip on him. "Jamie, they're gonna keep her there probably overnight for observation, but she's gonna be fine, I swear. She just really needs to see you, okay? Linda and Eva are with her and Kaylin too. Dad put me on the case, and Baez and I are gonna find the guy that did this and put him down, one way or the other... I promise," he added with strong conviction.

"So that's what you were doing?" Jamie barked back angrily to the extent his near-absent voice would allow after a short pause. He was breathing heavily and physically shaking again once more as all the adrenaline left in his body hit hard with the last bit of news, lifting the fog as suddenly images of each of these terrible scenes began playing on fast forward through his brain, nearly drowning out his thoughts. "All this time you were sitting here interrogating me first?... Pretending to be worried about _me_ when you knew Carson was dead and Eddie's hurt?! Nice work... _Detective_ Reagan!"

"I wasn't pretending!" Danny insisted as he cursed being the one that had to bring all of this agony down on his own brother, while at the same time giving thanks to above that the kid was here to take it in the first place. "Look Harvard, there was no easy way to do this! I had no idea how you were going to react… sometimes you just completely shut down over this stuff, ever since Mom and Joe…" he paused with deep regret for throwing that in there on today of all days but this was not the time to back up. "There's a cop-killer out there that needs to be found so I had to know what you did, and DAMN IT! I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm glad you weren't the one in that car today! Now get your stuff if you have anything you need to bring," he ordered as he stood and pulled Jamie up by the collar and reached in his own pocket. "I've got a shirt you can change into in the trunk. Here's your phone. I promised Eddie I would find you and bring you back so I'm gonna drive you down to the hospital right now and I don't want any lip about taking your own car. We'll pick it up later!"

* * *

 _Boy that was tough. Next up, Jamie deals with the situation at the hospital as they wait for news on the rookie's condition, and he is torn between being there for Eddie and his obligation to the job and the other officers in his platoon as the inevitable guilt starts to settle in on top of everything else._

 _Special thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing! You guys make my day and keep me writing!_


	9. Chapter 9

_As lawslave as my witness, this chapter and the slap to be heard 'round the werks Jamko world was written and shared with her weeks before the preview to S6-E15 ever aired. Maybe the BB writers are channeling this piece because that's not the only coincidence lately with that hoarder's apartment in S6-E18. She's got my back on this! lol._

* * *

Chapter 9

Taking a prompt from what he had observed earlier, Danny purposefully steered his brother away from the crowded front entrance of the hospital and in through a back door. Jamie had settled into a sort of self-imposed quiet isolation just as his older brother had feared and allowed himself to be guided with little independent thought and absolutely no protest. He had slipped his badge over his belt before changing obediently into the clean crew-neck t-shirt provided and moved where he was told until they arrived in the back hall which had been turned into a kind of temporary command center where quite a few of Carson and Rodgers' close friends from the 3-5 had been allowed back and were now present. There he stopped short as he spotted his father across the way where Frank was in conference with Renzulli and Wilson. The pair locked eyes for a second as Frank pursed his lips and nodded slightly while Jamie gave a tight grimace and a small, almost imperceptible shake of his head before Danny pushed him firmly from behind to keep him walking towards Eddie's room while he shot a look and a frown at his father that told him in no uncertain terms that things were not good.

"In here first, Harvard," he insisted as he prayed that they would find Eddie in a better state although he was prepared with a hand on his brother's arm just in case. Instead there was only an empty bed with Eva sitting in the accompanying chair with Kaylin on her lap. "Daddy!" she yelled and started to wiggle.

"Where… where is she?" Jamie rasped in a bit of panic as his future mother-in-law jumped to her feet and set the little girl down so she should run to her father. He immediately scooped her up in his arms but his eyes never left Eva.

"They just took her down the hall for some kind of scan before the doctor came in to do her stitches," she revealed. "Linda said they would be back any minute now," she assured. "Jamison… it's so good… I mean, thank goodness… we thought..."

"I know, I'm sorry..." he muttered softly as Kaylin squeezed her little arms tightly around his neck. She was a perceptive child, and while she couldn't comprehend what was truly going on, she could sense the tension and she knew that no matter what she was safe in her father's arms so had no intention of leaving them.

"Eddie has a bad boo-boo," she cried softly into his shoulder. "She fell down!"

"I know, baby," he whispered hoarsely as he patted her back and kissed her cheek while the thought that his child had witnessed what happened knifed through his heart and added to the cumulative guilt he was already feeling. "Don't worry though, we're gonna make it all better. I promise, okay?" Jamie would have stood there all day comforting the little girl, but a sudden disruption in the hallway caught his attention and he managed to brush past his brother's warning nudge to step out in the doorway, thinking that perhaps it was Eddie being returned to the room. Jamie instantly went three shades paler as he recognized Eloise Carson being helped down the hall by a man with similar features and build to the Lieutenant, having obviously just come from viewing the body. He had met her several times over the course of the past year as she would often stop in during the middle of a shift to drop off lunch for her husband. Every officer and NYPD official in the area instantly came to attention as she tearfully walked past them clinging to the other man's arm, stopping as his father put a hand out and leaned in to speak some soft words. A moment later, Frank stood up and three pairs of eyes shifted over directly at Jamie and he stiffened as Eloise began to make her way slowly towards him.

"Kaylin, sweetheart, Daddy needs to talk to this lady," Jamie whispered as he tried to pull the little girl away from his shoulder. "Can you please go with Grandma Eva for a minute?"

"No! No not Nagyanya!" Kaylin cried as she clung even tighter. Jamie had no idea what she was talking about at that point and there wasn't any time to ask, he only knew that he was going to have the face the shocked new widow of the man that had taken his place in that cruiser today with his daughter in his hands as she buried her face even further into his neck. Danny had come up alongside of him and taken a protective step forward while keeping a hand on Jamie's side as he had the same sense that this was not going to go well.

"Sergeant Jamison Reagan," Eloise Carson said softly as she approached and stood in front of him with the other man still supporting her. "I need to speak to you," she whispered.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied in his all-but absent voice as he hitched Kaylin up a little more on his hip as she remained flattened on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry for your loss…" he started.

What happened next was not anticipated by anyone… not Jamie or Danny; their father with his ever-present detail complete now with Renzulli and Wilson; the surrounding officers from the 3-5 who stood at attention; Eva who was plastered in the doorway behind her future son-in-law, or Eddie who for now was unnoticed and only had eyes for the love of her life… the one that she had convinced herself she would never see alive again... as she was being quietly wheeled back to the room from down the hall by Linda.

No one expected the defeated-looking Eloise Carson to reach out and viciously slap Jamie across the left side of his face as hard and as fast as a rattlesnake bite as she screamed at him with all of the anger now pent up in her soul. "I DON'T CARE WHOSE SON YOU ARE! It should have been YOU in that car today!" she cried. "Don't you DARE show your face at his funeral unless you take your place in that box instead of my Bobby! MY HUSBAND WAS A GOOD MAN!... HE WAS! He didn't deserve this! My daughters didn't deserve to lose their father today!"

The grieving Mrs. Carson was immediately pushed off to the side by her companion who looked equally stunned as everyone else in the vicinity as Jamie absorbed the surprisingly hard blow and staggered back just a step in shock as Kaylin started to wail in fear of the woman's sudden actions and volume. He honestly forgot to breathe for the next few seconds as he just stared on blankly while one side of his vision blurred before Danny managed to steady him and push him back in the room while the widow was instantly surrounded with concerned onlookers as her knees buckled and she threatened to collapse herself and Frank was forced to rush over to her first in a sense of duty.

"Jesus, I'm sorry, kid," Danny's words were broadcast but nowhere near ready to be received in Jamie's brain as his older brother cursed himself for allowing that to take place. He knew all too well the effects that deep sudden grief like this could have on family members, but what had just happened wasn't right on any level and would only add to the blame that he was sure Jamie would no doubt invoke upon himself.

In the meantime, Eddie had also plainly witnessed what had occurred and her hands had gone to cover her mouth in another level of disbelief as Linda quickly wheeled her down the remaining few feet and pushed her inside the room before briskly closing the door behind them to keep the sounds in the hallway at bay. It was the look on Eddie's face that finally broke Jamie's stupor, and a shock that would instantly turn into so many intense emotions reeled through the both of them as he stepped forward to catch her as she leaped out of the chair to collapse against him. There were no coherent words as she allowed herself to sob for a few seconds while everyone else attempted to guide the little family over to sit on the bed so that Jamie wouldn't go down himself under the weight of his two greatest loves who were now both clinging to him for all they were worth.

"Well, you two certainly look like quite a pair," Linda observed softly after giving them quite a few moments before the nurse in her came back to the forefront and she stepped in and gently tried to guide Eddie's bandaged area away from his shoulder and off to the side since the doctor was due to arrive any moment to start stitching her wound. "Honey, you need to get back in bed now so we can get you fixed up," she advised. "The CT results came back looking good," she assured everyone as she gently went about untangling the three of them from one another. Kaylin had already calmed down a great deal in the quieter presence of this room, however she was still not ready to budge from her spot on her father. "But we are going to keep her here just as a precaution to keep an eye on her since she certainly has a concussion. She'll need to be watched carefully and take it easy for a few days. The doctor will be in later to discuss things with you."

Without knowing exactly why, Eddie cried out, "please stay here tonight!" as she pulled back slightly and gently cupped Jamie's face just below the angry red mark left my Mrs. Carson's hand. "I need you," she continued with a broken voice while an intense anger started to well up in the place of her own grief as her momma bear claws were unleashed when she saw the damage that had been done... not so much the physical bruise, but the utter soulful dagger those ugly and heated remarks had left behind in him.

"I'm not going anywhere," he rasped with the tiniest twitch in the corner of his mouth in the familiar interplay between the two of them, but there was no light left in his eyes and despite everything that had already happened so far that day… Eddie found that to be the most frightening thing of all. "It's alright," he tried to assure as he shifted Kaylin to the side after reading her thoughts and knowing exactly where her mind was.

"She hit you with our child in your arms, Jamie! You didn't do anything wrong!"

"Please, Ed… not now," he pleaded softly as he glanced around the room at the concerned faces… all wondering of course just how he might react. Danny was staring at him and reading the situation like an open book, and he suddenly felt as if he was being uncomfortably shoved under a microscope while not having what was needed at the moment to relive this in front of everyone again. There was a solitary place within that Jamie was accustomed to going where he either dealt with things like this or decided to lock them away and having it out in the open was adding to his unease. "Baby, you have a concussion and the doctor told you to take it easy. Let it go. She just lost her husband. We have to be thankful for what we have," he added flatly as an almost afterthought.

"No it's not okay, Jamie! Would it have been okay if this had happened last week when you were pulling shifts for him and I did that to the Lieutenant in front of his wife and children with all the rest of the 3-5 standing there?"

"Eddie, you fainted when you thought it was me. No one knows how we'll react to the stress of something like that. Please, we can't judge her for her actions today, alright?" he asked as he kissed her forehead once more and turned around to help as Linda and Eva guided her back into bed and under the blanket.

A soft knock at the door ushered in a harried-looking Police Commissioner as well as Dr. Miller, the chief of plastic surgery at the hospital who had been called in to attend to Eddie's cut personally. Frank took one look at his youngest and his heart dropped at the mere ghostly presence that had been left behind after the events of the day, and as much as he wanted to cross the room in two steps and physically take his son in his arms to hold him and tell him that everything would be okay, he restrained himself. There would be time for that later in private, he promised... later since there were still so many necessary unpleasantries left unfinished.

"Jamie," Frank called quietly after the doctor had made his introductions and busied himself setting up for his task as Linda assisted in pulling the necessary trays over to the bedside. "Come here, son, I need to talk to you," he ordered. "Lieutenant Carson's older brother, David, wishes to speak with you," he revealed after giving in to his own need to ground himself by placing a hand on his youngest's shoulder when he was finally successful in passing Kaylin over to Eva; the two taking their leave with the promise of a trip to the cafeteria for some ice cream to clear the room as Eddie was being readied for her procedure.

"Seriously?" Danny hissed in a whisper as he had accompanied his little brother over to the doorway for the conference. He was still enraged himself with what had taken place in that hallway and had taken the whole situation personally. "What does he want? A crack at the kid himself?"

"He's an FDNY captain," Frank explained gently. "He's been through the drill himself. Son, he had no idea she was going to react like that and wants to apologize in person," he said as he sought Jamie's eyes despite the somewhat unsettling swelling and discoloration now taking place under the left one, but they were instead still listless and now glued to the floor as the young man could not bring himself to look at his father. "The doctors have taken her down the hall and prescribed a sedative. Maybe we should get someone in here to have a look at you as well," he worried as that strike had certainly left a mark and would no doubt be a constant reminder of the widow's feelings for the next week or so.

"I'm fine, Dad," Jamie rasped almost breathlessly as that remark had caused his hazel eyes to flash upwards in anger for the first time. He felt like he was caught in a virtual stew of emotions at that moment and really didn't have a handle on any of them at this point, but the last thing he wanted was to be poked or prodded or have any more attention directed at himself... he certainly hadn't been one of those unfortunates in the car or collapsing to the ground in a heap today because of it. He had instead selfishly gone to his girlfriend's apartment in the middle of the day to take a nap in unfettered peace and quiet after all.

"I insist," Frank replied firmly as that closer inspection had revealed a nasty broken blood vessel leaving an unsettling bright red blood streak in the lower part of the eye itself.

"Whatever," Jamie muttered as he knew it was a lost cause now. "How's Rodgers doing?" he deflected as he averted his gaze once more.

"Still in surgery," his father confirmed. "They've repaired the lung and are trying to extract the bullet now. So far he's holding his own. The doctors expect they'll need to keep him on a ventilator and sedated for at least the next several days though before he'll be strong enough to come out of it and breathe on his own."

"Did he give up anything on the shooter?" the youngest Reagan asked coldly.

"No, he was unconscious at the scene… we don't have much to go on yet," Frank admitted. "The task force is on it, though."

"Shouldn't you get out of here and go to work then?" Jamie directed at Danny. He was still irritated with the way his brother had played him earlier… like he was a little child that could be expected to fall apart over something like this all the time. "I've got nothing left to give you so don't feel the need to babysit me any more."

"Hey! You're a little bit more important to me than the case, kid," Danny admitted but did not fail to catch the glare Linda shot his way from over by Eddie's bedside. So many of their arguments lately revolved around the fact that she thought he always put the work before her… and yet here he was sticking around for his younger brother when there was a cop-killer out there on the streets. Looked like another chilly night ahead at the Reagan home in Staten Island.

"Captain Carson is down the hall waiting for us. We should go…" Frank began before being interrupted by a small cry from the bed.

"Jamie, wait!" Eddie called in a bit of a panic as she lay back flat with a sterile blue sheet draped over the wound and now concealing her face as it was prepped for the stitches and a numbing solution was being injected. He immediately hurried back to her side and his stomach churned at the sight of the rather jagged gash on the side of her head the doctor was getting set to trim up. Surely that was going to scar in some fashion unless this plastics guy was truly gifted and the wedding was only four months away.

"I'm here, Ed," he assured as he grabbed her hand and kissed it while the doctor paused with the needle in his hand and shot him a disparaging look. "Honey, you have to stay still for Dr. Miller so he can do a good job, okay? Listen, I've gotta go with my dad for just a minute, and then I'm coming right back. I promise," he vowed as he rubbed her arm and felt her tense up.

"Okay, okay," she sniffed, for some inexplicable reason she had an overwhelming sense that he would continue to be pulled away from her. "Sorry… just don't… Jamie, please don't listen to him if he says anything bad, alright? This wasn't your fault."

"Yeah," he conceded as his voice disappeared once more from the cumulative effect of emotions and illness. "I'll be right back," he scratched out as he gave her another small squeeze before gently laying her hand down on the bed. "Love ya, Janko," he said as he walked away.

Eddie closed her eyes under the blue draping and her worried heart listened to the footsteps as they disappeared through the door as she prayed for him to have strength.

"You better get used to that with this family," Linda's voice drifted over to her with a more than a hint of crossness. "When you're a Reagan the obligations to the job always come first."

* * *

 _So Jamie is going to struggle with this that much is for sure… and trouble in paradise keeps cropping up for Danny and Linda at a time he'll need his whole family behind him to deal with the guilt. Problem is everyone will assume this was some kind of random act of violence against the police, or perhaps a personal vendetta against Carson or Rodgers. The only one that knows the truth about who the shooter was really after will be lying in a medically induced coma for at least the next several days and Danny is going to run into all kinds of brick walls trying to figure out who the guy really is in the meantime._


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Frank paused at the doorway to the exam area and sadly regarded his youngest son for a moment. The boy was sitting on the table in the darkened room facing the wall away from him with his head down and his shoulders slumped forward in utter defeat now. It had taken everything left in him today to graciously meet with David Carson and accept the fire captain's profuse apology regarding the confrontation with his sister-in-law in the hallway, especially given the fact that it had occurred in front of and upset a child with the rest of the officers from the 3-5 looking on. Jamie's assurances to Captain Carson still rang in Frank's heart.

"I understand, sir," he had told the grieving man who unfortunately was no stranger himself to the sacrifices of service. "I lost my own brother to the job. I promise you there are no hard feelings. My apologies if I upset Mrs. Carson in any way... that wasn't my intention and I will respect her wishes. It was an honor, sir, to serve under the Lieutenant. I had nothing but complete regard for him." Jamie had spoken those words with direct eye contact, a firm handshake and resolve to the strongest of his vocal ability at the present, but now that he was alone his father could see what a complete toll it had taken on him. There was no doubt in Frank's mind that his son would have traded spots with either of those officers in the car today, and honestly that was the most sobering thought the commissioner had since first laying his eyes on that body in the back room.

"You all cleared?" Frank asked gruffly as his youngest jumped straighter at the sound of his voice, but failed to turn around. On his orders, Jamie had been forced to stay here against his will and submit to an exam from the staff ophthalmologist while Danny took his leave to meet up with Baez and join the task force charged with finding the shooter.

"Yeah," the broken voice affirmed as he scanned the paperwork in his hand. "Subconjunctival hemorrhage. No corneal damage or signs of retinal detachment. _No treatment is required for this condition,_ " he read out loud with emphasis on the last sentence. "Nurse just went to get me an icepack for my boo-boo. You need proof? Here it is," he griped as he threw the paper down on the table beside him. "Can I go back to Eddie now like I promised, sir? Or did I get put on a 72-hour hold upstairs in psych when I wasn't looking?"

"Jamison Reagan!" Frank thundered with a bit more voracity than he had intended, followed by immediate regret at his tone. If there was one thing he despised it was snide back talk from one of his children, but given the circumstances it could hardly be faulted, and honestly just a few hours ago Frank would have given his own life to hear that again. "Son, you are going to have to open up about this…" he trailed off as he walked in the room and put an arm around the younger man's back. He was somewhat surprised when it was quickly shrugged off... it wasn't often that his youngest rebuked his father's affection like that. Jamie had always been the most sensitive of his boys and right now Frank was not ashamed to admit that he was the one who needed the contact… to assure himself that those raw feelings that had run rampant in his heart for that terrible time today were unfounded… that he had not in fact lost another son.

"Not now, Dad," Jamie begged softly though as he pulled away, still without looking up. "Please, for the rest of the day can I just be a father and a boyfriend for once? I can't… I don't _want_ to talk about this anymore right now. I promise to toe the family line like a good Reagan tomorrow," he added as the nurse returned with his ice and he thanked her before hopping down and walking off in the direction of Eddie's room.

Those last few comments stung both of their hearts a little as he did so.

###

"Bye-bye, sweetheart," Frank whispered in Kaylin's ear as he kissed her cheek while he remained in the hall outside of Eddie's room later that evening. She had been moved to a quiet wing on the third floor for observation that night and Jamie had made no bones about staying with her, but had conceded that it would be best for his daughter to sleep elsewhere. "Your Grandpa loves you," he added as he relinquished his hold on the little girl and handed her off to Erin who had hurried down later in the afternoon when a continuance was granted in her trial. Thankfully by the time word got to her about the shooting while she was in court, the identity of Lieutenant Carson had already been confirmed and she had been spared the adjunct horror of thinking it was her little brother instead as many of the other Reagans had been forced to endure. Still, what had happened had left her clearly shaken, and she was happy to volunteer to take her niece home for the night as a means of distraction. Kaylin loved staying with her Auntie Erin and Jamie's sister always kept spare clothing and toys at her apartment for her so there was no need for anything further. Eva had looked after the little girl for most of the day now, but she was clearly tired from the stress of the events and Frank had arranged to have her taken back to her hotel in a few minutes so she could rest. He frowned softly though as he looked through the doorway and watched as Eddie's mother hovered over her daughter for a bit while his son sat blankly in the chair next to the bed.

"You have the keys to their car, right?" he asked Erin as she cradled his granddaughter. "Eddie said there's extra things for her in a bag in there."

"I've got it, Dad," she assured as she wrapped her arm around his. "Are you doing okay? You look really tired. Have you eaten anything at all? Why don't we go downstairs and have some supper together before I go?"

"No, I'm fine," he assured with a tired voice that blatantly dispelled that notion. "It's just been a helluva day," he admitted before turning to give her a small smile. "I'm only staying long enough to see you and Eva off before I go check in on the Rodgers family now that they've brought him out of surgery. I'll run home then at least for the night and make sure Pop is okay. He'll be upset with me for keeping him away, but he's just getting over being sick and he didn't need the stress of reliving all this again."

"None of us did," Erin replied softly as she squeezed his hand and regarded her brother once more. "You're worried about Jamie." It was a statement, not a question.

"Of course," Frank answered thoughtfully. "He's not processing any of this well… so many things happened today... I don't even know which direction to approach him from. He looks like he's been thrown in the middle of a pinball machine and he pushed me away earlier," he admitted with deep regret.

"Me too," Erin confessed as she recalled her brother's stark flat countenance when she tried to talk to him after she'd arrived. "You know how he can be over things like this… we've just gotta keep pushing back," she advised. "But I think we need to let Eddie go first this time. If anyone can reach him right now it will be her."

"Yes, I'm sure you're right," Frank agreed as they watched Eva finish her goodbyes and make her way out of the room. "My driver will be here for you in just a minute," he advised the older woman as she joined them in the hall.

"Thank you, Frank," Eva acknowledged after Kaylin kissed her Nagyanya good night and Erin said a few words before excusing herself to take the child home.

"I'm sorry this has all but ruined your visit with Edit," he stated. "I know she was looking forward to spending this time with you."

"Well, yes, to a point I'm sure she was," the Janko woman admitted with a frown. "I've not handled things very well with my daughter in the last few years since her father's arrest, and I regret that," she admitted in a surprisingly candid fashion after a long pause. "Today, though… seeing her in that dress looking so happy and the way she is with that child… for a moment…" she trailed off. "Then watching what she went through later… that was simply dreadful. There's no doubt she loves Jamison, but I'm not sure this is the right life for her," she added softly with a shake of the head. "Would you ever wish to see your child in that much pain?" she asked as she looked up at him.

"No, of course not," Frank admitted as he looked back into the room; Eddie was clearly doing the talking but Jamie had not budged from his seat just yet. "My son is in a great deal of pain right now, too," he added. "It weighs on my heart and it's not what his mother wanted for him either, but this is the life of their choosing and there are more days where the rewards outweigh the sadness."

"Until there aren't," Eva remarked bluntly. "As obviously you are well aware after what happened to your Joseph. My daughter would have ceased to exist today if Jamison had been in that car," she paused with a heavy sigh. "I cannot intervene now or she would disown me completely, but know that I do not approve," she revealed. "Thank you for the car tonight. I will call for a taxi to return tomorrow morning. They have some more tests planned then for Edit to see if she will be allowed home, and I intend to stay until my flight on Wednesday evening."

"I understand," Frank acknowledged as Baker appeared around the corner down the hall. "Detective Baker will see you to your hotel. Please don't hesitate to call if you need anything. Good night, Eva," he added.

"Good night, Frank," she answered, and he watched her walk away, the words she had spoken still echoing behind in his mind. Perhaps this wasn't the right life for any of them anymore.

###

"Jamie, are you sure you don't want anything to eat? They brought so much and I'm not really hungry either. This headache makes my stomach turn," Eddie complained as she pushed her tray away from the bed. "The pudding is decent if you just want to try some of that."

"No, I'm good, thanks," he responded in a tired voice from his spot hunched to the side in the chair with his feet propped up on the bed railing. They were short on distractions as she was not really supposed to watch TV because of the flickering lights, and the little he had caught with the sound off while she was asleep before had revolved around breaking news stories on the shooting and the efforts of the NYPD to find gunman and he had quickly turned that off. That was for Danny and his father to worry about right now and he found himself surprisingly without any sense of need to immerse himself in it yet since he knew there was no way his family would have allowed him anywhere near the precinct tonight anyway. He resolved to lock that part away for the next few hours and stay with Eddie, knowing full well that tomorrow would bring back the heavy responsibilities of the badge he wore since it would be all hands on deck otherwise until the cop-killer was brought to justice. Tomorrow he wouldn't have a choice as he was scheduled for first shift, and now with the Lieutenant gone he'd be needed to fill in again… it was his duty. However, no one had shared the fact with him that there had already been some re-configuring of the ranks and a familiar face would be awaiting him once he got there. Frank Reagan was already three steps ahead of his own son in this chess game and he knew the stakes were likely very high for all of them.

"Will you come sit with me?" she asked as she scootched over on the bed and made room for him. Ever since first putting eyes on him in that hallway… before the widow Carson drained everything that was left of him away with her actions… all Eddie had wanted was to lay in bed next to Jamie and cuddle like they did on lazy Saturday mornings when they both had off and Kaylin was either sleeping in or right there between them chattering away. It seemed so strange right now not to hear her little voice begging for yet another story or just "two more minutes, p'ease!" for whatever else she found interesting at that time. Two minutes turned into twenty more often than not as the little girl was highly skilled at the art persuasion, especially with her daddy who had been firmly wrapped around that little pinky from day one. The only ones worse with her were Henry and Frank, and they usually claimed wildcards as grandfathers and said they were not required to adhere to anything as silly as bedtime rules.

Jamie likewise conceded to Eddie's plea without argument and joined her on the bed, sinking down quickly with his head below her on the pillow while she propped herself up on an elbow and fussed over him, running her fingers gently through his uncharacteristically messy hair while being careful to avoid the bruised area to the side so as to not remind him of it. Surely the two of them would look like quite a matching set for a while and it was a good thing it wasn't time for the wedding pictures just yet she thought ruefully. The nurses on duty had offered him the use of one of the staff full baths down the hall when they discovered he intended to stay the night since the fact that he was a cop and Linda's brother-in-law made him practically kin in their eyes, but he had yet to take them up on it, unwilling to leave her again just yet.

"You could really use a shower, Reagan," she reminded him, hoping that small, careless talk might break him out of the shell he had covered himself with so tightly already. Eddie wasn't naive enough to think that any of this was going to pass by lightly and she couldn't imagine all the feelings that might be coursing through him after the events of the day. She had seen the worried glances of the family though, and the way he had shut them out so she was determined to approach him with great caution and not push too hard or too soon for anything. Right now she was just overwhelmingly grateful to have him beside her. Everything that had sent her into such a tailspin earlier had been resolved while his burdens had only continued to mount and grow heavier by the hour it seemed.

"Why, do I stink that bad?" he murmured with his face still shuttered and blank. Being next to her like this was the only thing he had wanted since laying eyes on her himself earlier that day.

"Yeah, you kinda do."

"Deal with it," he answered with his eyes closed as he savored her touch. "I'll go later when you're sleeping again," he offered, "or maybe I'll wait until morning before I leave for shift."

Eddie's hands immediately stopped roving in their small soft circles as she closed her eyes and braced her mind against that comment. Call it her own sense of denial but after everything it hadn't even occurred to her yet that he would be going back to work so soon since he had all but planned on taking the next two days on leave to rest and escort her mother out to the McPherson's. "I thought you said you were taking tomorrow off to get better," she questioned softly.

"Can't now, Ed. You know that. Everyone is on extended tours… I have to, it's expected…" he trailed off.

"Expected why? Because you're a sergeant or because you're a Reagan?"

One tired, almost soulless eye slipped open and stared back at her, the one with the ugly red streak through the bottom that perfectly reflected the day. It made Eddie's already weak stomach churn once more at the sight of it. "Both," he replied evenly, leaving no doubt she had just crossed that tenuous line that she had vowed to tread lightly on. The window soon shut again as the shade came down and she was locked out from his thoughts once more. Time to chip away carefully from another vantage point.

"So where do we start?" she asked, hoping the cryptic question might draw another few words out of him. It worked, to a point, but in the end fell rather flat.

"Start what?"

"On the house. I mean it's just sitting there now. We've gotta do something with it or we'll never move in, right? What's first? The roof?"

"I guess," he muttered with more of an air of burden than excitement. "Maybe it's too much," he added softly.

"Too much what? Money for the roof? We talked about that. I have enough in my savings to cover it."

"Too much house… too much to handle, especially for you in case something would happen…" he stopped himself before he finished the thought, but there was a kind of stark resolve there that frightened her to no end; Jamie sounded almost resigned to the fact that one day it would indeed be him in the car and this had all been some kind of dry run for them. Eddie stared back in shock… he had always been without fail a glass-half-full kinda guy, and with that one comment seemed to have shifted to someone without a drop of water to his name.

"Please don't talk like that," she begged quietly, stepping fully over that line and driving him back in the shadows once more.

"There but for the grace of God went I again today, Ed…" he replied softly. "How many times can that happen before my luck finally runs out? Three in one year?... so soon after Vinny?" he added, of course referring to the fact that he survived when he was shot in the vest while his former partner died in the Bitterman courtyard after being struck just inches away from the same spot before he and Eddie had even met, then there was the pneumonia from last summer and that awful explosion at the Bridgewater construction site the previous December that had left him trapped, hypothermic and essentially dead for over a half hour before he walked away from it with barely a scratch, and now this… how close had he come once more? It didn't take a degree in psychology to see that survivor's guilt had firmly entrenched itself within his heart and that the events today coupled with Mrs. Carson's actions had likely buttered the last brick with a fast-acting heavy-duty mortar and slid it in place to close him behind the wall, maybe for good.

She watched in dismay as he got up and walked to the door without looking at her. "I'll be back," he assured with no conviction as he had shown her just a crack of the darkness he was in right now and needed to go find that space to grieve alone to sweep it back inside again. "I guess I do need to get cleaned up after all."

* * *

 _I warned you in the beginning that this story could get kinda dark and angst-ridden at times. Just where the flow went… gotta pull everyone apart before putting them back together, right? Jamie's sure been through a lot physically before, but this might be his toughest challenge yet and no one realizes he's not safe. Next up, Sergeant Reagan attempts to return to duty but finds an unexpected obstacle in his way._

 _Please keep reviewing. It appears as of yesterday the site needs a little fixing again a la Frank Reagan-style "If it's stuck, hit it with a hammer," as the reviews are floating in a queue in cyberspace somewhere and won't post until that gets done. Seems to happen every few months. I can read and reply to them via email in the meantime and they will all show up on the page eventually. I appreciate anyone who takes the time to comment._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Habitually early for work, Jamie rolled into the 3-5 a full hour before the scheduled roll call on Tuesday morning. He had evaded any potential early morning visitors at the hospital by leaving ahead of time while Eddie was still asleep, pausing to give her a soft goodbye kiss on the cheek before going and assuring himself that she would be well taken care of after a quick touch base with Linda who was due to come in on shift. He also knew that Eva had planned to arrive shortly… well in advance of a few routine tests the doctor had scheduled before deciding whether Eddie would be discharged in the afternoon. Erin was dropping Kaylin off at daycare on her way into the office so Jamie felt he had everything under control from that perspective.

He tried not to stare at the black bunting that was drawn across the front of the precinct building as a sign of mourning for the officer lost after he parked his car down the block and made his way in through the front doors, pausing at the desk for a cursory acknowledgement and to pick up one of the dreaded obligatory black bands to adorn his badge through the end of the week when Lieutenant Carson's funeral was now scheduled. While the brother had assured him he would be welcome at the event despite what his sister-in-law had said, Jamie was fully prepared to forgo it completely if necessary. The last thing he wanted was to be responsible for another scene with a grieving Eloise in front of countless other cops although he was nonetheless prepared to make it perfectly clear to the officers in his precinct that it was being done out of respect and for no other reason. In order to command them, he could not afford to have them see him as being weak or insolent when it came to the loss of one of their own no matter what the circumstances were.

With a heavy heart, he proceeded into the locker room and past the Lieutenant's station, likewise bedecked in black as a reminder to all that passed. Jamie needed no such memorials to emphasize the fact that it was his own set of circumstances which had turned Carson around and brought him back to this space to redress and take that ill-fated second shift from which he never returned. He stared hatefully at that half bag of cough drops that now lay innocently on the shelf of his locker when he finally took the courage to open it. A damn bag of organic honey-lemon candies was all that had stood between him and that gunman yesterday. He angrily balled the remaining ones up and hurled them across the way in the general direction of the trash bin, not caring when his aim was off and a few scattered across the floor instead. Biting his lip hard, he fought to regain his composure while he quickly dressed and left the room, destined for his own office down the hall. He was more than a little surprised to find it already occupied.

"Sarge? What… what are you doing here?" he questioned a little more coarsely than intended, wondering why his former TO was not at his own house at the 12th and suddenly remembering that Renzulli had been in conference at the hospital with his father when the whole widow Carson fiasco had taken place.

"Nice to see ya too," the older man gruffed before looking up from the desk over his reading glasses in a familiar fashion. "Hope you don't mind that I put my stuff down in here. Figured you'd be okay with it. Didn't want to step on someone else's toes or disrespect anyone," he added with a nod across the hall towards Carson's office.

"I still don't understand…" Jamie started until things began to click in place… that meeting and the fact that Wilson was due for a sergeant's bump of his own. "You're the new LT," he surmised with just the hint of a frown as the wheels started to turn fast forward in his brain.

"Yeah," Renzulli affirmed with an unyielding gaze back. As much as he had always gotten along well with Jamie, he wasn't sure how the kid would wind up taking this news on top of everything else since he had worked hard at the 3-5 for almost the whole of the past year to turn a troubled precinct around and earn the respect of the other officers outright. Having his former mentor step in ahead of him now to fill the void felt a little… awkward. "Just caught the notice yesterday morning when I got into work that I was supposed to get the bump at next week's ceremony, then all this broke loose and I wound up here effective immediately. Didn't even get a chance to pick up a white shirt yet. Hell of a way to end up at the same house again, isn't it, Harvard?" he added as he studied his old boot carefully. The truth was he had been due for the promotion, but had originally been scheduled to transfer to another precinct before being called in by the Commissioner personally yesterday and charged with a different command and a new assignment entirely. That particular mission was now blinking back at him with a pair of unfooled hazel eyes. Frank Reagan's son knew this was no mere coincidence, it had his father's handiwork written all over it.

"That's great Sarge… I mean Lieutenant," Jamie managed evenly as he processed the information. "I'm sure Adele is happy," he added, still covering for himself. Renzulli's wife had been a key figure the previous year during Kaylin's adoption process and she remained close to the little girl as her appointed Godmother.

"Oh, yeah, of course," Renzulli nodded, eager to knock some of the tension away, especially with what he knew was yet to come. "Anything that comes with a bump in pay makes the missus happy. You'll find that out too soon," he added. "Plus it makes me feel a little at home to be in here with that trophy you stole from me in the softball tournament last year. Kinda missed seeing it everyday after six years of having it on my shelf at the 12th," he chided as he nodded towards the award that sat in a place of honor on the credenza.

"Well, let me know if you need anything else," Jamie offered with a shake of the head to clear his thoughts as he grabbed the memos left on the corner of his desk so he could prepare for the morning roll call. "I've gotta get set."

"About that," Renzulli started down an uneasy road with great regret. While he accepted what he was being asked to do was for the kid's own good, it didn't make it any easier. "Your Pop's due here any minute. Wants to address the platoon before shift about what's known so far on the shooting and me comin' in here, I guess." he revealed. "Didn'ja talk to him at all this morning?"

"No, uh, guess he figured he'd just run into me here," Jamie admitted with a little remorse. He'd been rather surprised that his father had left him be after their little confrontation in the exam room yesterday, but that's what he had asked for, right? Some space to get his head settled by spending time with Eddie before he walked back in and put that Reagan nameplate back on a uniform.

"Yeah, well I talked to him for a spell," Renzulli admitted. "He's given me the green light to do a few things around here as I see fit so we can get through this damn situation without losing anyone else."

"What things?" Jamie asked with a growing feeling of dread settling in his stomach. As a superior now again, Renzulli was talking to him a little too freely for whatever it was to be about someone else at this point.

"The Commissioner has asked that you speak to the patrol this morning after he makes his remarks. He wants you to address what a lot a them saw with the widow yesterday. He said you did a fine job talking to the brother. I know that was tough on you, kid. I'm proud of how ya handled yourself, but after that… my first official act here was to take your name off today's roster. You nearly did yourself in last week keeping the lights on in this place for everyone else and then this happened… plus the things I heard that woman say to you… you need to go home and take care of Eddie and get your head on straight before you come back."

"WHAT?!" Jamie gave a half laugh in disbelief before the shock set back in as he realized Renzulli wasn't bluffing and he stared back blankly as his still iffy voice nonetheless notched up in anger. "You've gotta be kidding me. SERIOUSLY? All hands on deck and everything else? I wasn't even HERE yesterday for all this! I was ASLEEP on a freaking couch and I'm the broken toy that has to get sent home?! How the hell am I supposed to look at these guys after this when they know they're being put back on the street with this nut still on the loose and I'm sitting home playing house with my girlfriend?"

"You're gonna handle this like the good cop and supervisor we all know you are, kid," Renzulli stated. "But your head's not right, no way it can be… not after everything that went down and you being worried about Eddie on top of it. I've known you a long time and I can see through that wall you've put up. I'd rather tell everyone you're out playing house than put you on the street when I know it ain't the right thing to do. You go get cleared by the department shrink, that Grace woman, and I'll sign off on letting you back… but not one minute before. Getting you killed out there isn't gonna fix what happened to Carson or help this precinct and don't you go running to your old man about it… he put me in charge and told me it was my call. This is my decision. You pull yourself together and go speak to the platoon, then you go home, Harvard."

For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, Jamie shrugged off his father's attempt to talk to him on his way out of the door. He had followed the Commissioner's motivational words and the announcements regarding the continued hunt for the gunman, officer Rodgers' status, the funeral schedule and that Carson had been posthumously promoted to Captain with the introduction of Renzulli as the new CO. Sergeant Reagan had done as requested at the podium and spoken with resolve to his officers about the circumstances that had put the Lieutenant in the car the day before and what many of them had witnessed in the terrible hours after the shooting yesterday, finishing with how he intended to honor Lieutenant Carson in every way possible by placing the needs of his family, no matter what they were, in front of his own before wishing them a safe tour and taking his leave. His voice was even, but it wasn't hard for anyone to see the strain in his face by the time he finished. Jamie was doing his very best to keep things glued together in public, but those that knew him best could see the small chinks in the armor and the dark void behind them.

Both Frank and Renzulli followed his path out of the room with concerned eyes as they stood next to one another.

"I'll worry about getting the son of a bitch that did this to my officers," Frank muttered to the man he now trusted with one of his most precious commodities. "Tony, you worry about taking care of my boy."

###

"I'm just rather surprised is all," Eva commented as she fluffed up the pillows around her daughter as Eddie was settled back in her bed after returning from the scheduled neuro tests. "I would think if he was so concerned about you he would have stayed for the exam," she tutted.

"Jamie was with me all night," Eddie sighed as she realized they had fallen right back into the familiar flow of banter she was so used to with her mother. "And an officer was killed and another injured… if I wasn't here I'd be on patrol myself. He has a duty," she reminded.

"Yes, there's that word again," her mother grimaced at the thought of her daughter out there in the same danger as all of these other officers. "Just the other day I spoke to you about this and where you fall on his list of concerns. This job you speak of and his obligations to others should not come before you, Edit," she insisted.

"Sometimes they have to," Eddie murmured as she nervously looked at the clock and the blank screen on her phone. It was just after ten now and Jamie would have been on the street for at least two hours by that point with no contact from him. "Are there any updates on the news?" she asked her mother as she anxiously started typing to send him a text.

"Nothing that I saw while I was waiting for you," Eva responded as she returned to her seat by the bedside. "Just continued background stories on that one that was killed… Carson. They interviewed his twin daughters this morning. Shameful way the media works…" she trailed off in bitterness for the personal attacks she had endured in the press over her husband's indiscretions.

Eddie's tests had come back fairly clean, but the neurologist had advised her against doing anything that would strain her eyes or cause her to focus too hard on something for at least the next several days while her brain healed from the concussion. _One short text won't hurt,_ she reasoned and quickly hit send once it was composed. It was only seconds later that she was startled by a familiar tone as she looked up and saw Jamie standing in the doorway dressed in street clothes with Kaylin in his arms.

"I guess that was for me, huh?" he asked with a smile that did not reach his eyes as he set the little girl on the bed so she could go give her Eddie bear a hug before he leaned in and added a careful kiss on the forehead of his own.

"What are you doing here?" she worriedly glanced between her mother and him as she panicked slightly, wondering just how long he might have been standing in that doorway and what he might have heard. He looked so blank and flattened it was hard to get a read, but it was obvious to her by his demeanor that something was very wrong. Still she needed to cover her surprise, "I mean I thought you were scheduled for tour this morning."

"Me too," he muttered with just a fleeting look at her eyes before his own roved away. "But, uh, I guess I was wrong about that so I just went over to the daycare and picked up sweetness and we went to the park on Sutter for a bit before we came here. She wanted to go down the big slide again… I promised her last week, but I couldn't take her... and I knew your mom would be here!" he defended suddenly as he noted Eddie's puzzled expression. None of this was quite making sense to her and for a second she wondered if maybe this was the knock on the noggin talking; Jamie was always so ordered and he looked almost completely out of sorts right now.

"It's okay, babe," she replied as she grabbed his hand. "She loves that park, and it's a nice day outside. I'm glad you took her. The tests all came back good, but they're not gonna discharge me until the afternoon so she didn't need to be cooped up here in the room until then like she was all day yesterday," she assured.

"Oh, alright... good," he replied as he pulled up the other chair and sank down in it heavily. Eddie shot another quizzical look at her mother wondering if she was the only one noticing this somewhat radical shift in his behavior, but Eva had an eyebrow raised too.

"Jamie, have you eaten anything today?" Eddie asked as she continued with the small talk approach, hoping for a better result this time.

"Yeah, I think so. I mean there were bagels at the front desk when I got there. I might have grabbed one of those before I went to my office and ran into Renzulli… maybe I set it down…"

" _Renzulli_ was at the 3-5?!" Eddie asked, suddenly fearful that something serious was indeed going on here and that a stress-laden Jamie had shown up for his shift at the wrong precinct this morning, which frankly would explain the fact that he had been obviously dismissed and sent home.

"Yeah, can you believe it?" he offered with a small laugh and a tone that didn't quite register… he almost sounded annoyed which wasn't consistent with his feelings towards his old TO. Renzulli and Jamie were normally like two peas in a pod and Eddie had often found herself jealous of their enduring strong alliance and the way they could work together seamlessly without talking sometimes. It was much like her own relationship with him when they were riding together, but that had been cut short now that they had moved on to a different type of partnership while the two sergeants continued to have that tight bond together at work whenever they were on scene together. "Dad bumped him up to lieutenant and transferred him to take over for Cars… to fill in," he explained, still refusing to meet her eyes. "He's my boss again," he added with a small huff and shrug of the shoulders, neglecting to tell her at this moment in front of Eva that the last thing he had done before walking out of the precinct was to throw his gun and badge on the desk in front of Renzulli before leaving without another word. "Wilson got his appointment to sergeant at the 12th in his place. Looks like you'll be riding with someone new soon too."

"Wow," Eddie commented as she sat back a little and absorbed all of that. On one hand she was glad to hear that Wilson was remaining at the same house given his promotion as he had expected to transfer soon and she enjoyed riding with him, on the other even Eddie could sense that Renzulli's appointment was no coincidence. Frank Reagan didn't work in that manner and if he had sent the trusted former sergeant directly Jamie's way like this, it was because there was a good reason for it and Eddie did not like any of the possible scenarios that conjured up. Suddenly those worried familial looks that had been directed at him the day before were instantly magnified. The Reagans all knew something she didn't and by the looks of it probably wouldn't want to.

Her fingers flew to her phone once more when Jamie collected himself after a few minutes and agreed to take Kaylin down to the cafeteria for a bite to eat when she mentioned being hungry because she was missing snack time. At least the little one seemed to be able to hold him to task in her usual daddy's girl fashion.

Eddie was nervously chewing the inside of her cheek as the man on the other end of the line picked up. "Frank? It's Eddie, listen we've gotta talk…"

* * *

 _So Jamie is clearly thoroughly rattled now and not happy at all to have been benched by Renzulli who's gonna have a really tough job on his hands through this. Next up, Danny and Baez immerse themselves in the case as the identity of our less than brilliant shooter is revealed to the readers and he realizes that he got the wrong guy before starting to plan an encore. Can anyone guess yet who Jared Quinlan might be?_

 _Also, thanks to all of you who are still submitting reviews on day three of the missing posts. I'll continue to read them via email and will post new chapters through this for now in hopes someone in charge will get that hammer out soon and give the server a knock._

 _ETA: They're fixed! Yay!_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"Please tell me _someone_ came up with _something_ on this mutt while I was gone," Daniel Reagan griped while adjusting his tie as he walked back into the large conference room that had been turned into task force headquarters after taking a few hours to go home, shower, grab a power nap and change out of his rather ripe suit before returning to the manhunt which had been in full swing for nearly twenty-four hours now. He had purposefully chosen to ignore Linda's continued silent treatment after their little tiff at the hospital the day before and walked out the door with a cheery "Have a good day, dear!" on his way back to the precinct.

"Ballistics are in," Detective Trevor Roland advised as he held the folder over his head for Danny to grab on the way back. He had barely shrugged his coat off before opening it and hungrily studying the results as he sat down at the table in front of a computer. "No matches," he spat at Baez as she was intently studying camera footage across the way while adding some creamer to yet another cup of raunchy coffee someone had churned out in the galley. "Old ammunition though, something about the metal content," he mused while continuing to read, looking for anything that might lead them closer to the man who had impacted so many lives with two cruel tugs of a trigger the day before. "So we won't get a hit on recent sales at gun shops."

"Terrific," Maria muttered as she frowned and flipped to another feed. "Anything on the gun itself?"

"Doesn't look like it," Danny revealed as he continued to scan the data until he got down to the comments. "Is this a joke?" he growled as he tossed the paper over at his partner. "It says the gun likely had not been maintained well… something about excessive grooves and that the bullets should have done more damage given the caliber and model. One dead and one paralyzed through his vest from two shots and they should have done more?"

"I think they're probably figuring that given the fact Carson's head was still on his shoulders," she added grimly. "You know what those Magnums are capable of."

"Yeah, there's that," Danny agreed as he gave an involuntary shudder given the fact that his little brother had been scheduled to be in that seat instead. "So is this guy smart or lucky?" he wondered. "Untraceable gun and ammo, only a few seconds of blurred footage of him in spite of having thousands of cameras running nonstop throughout the city."

"If he was smart he would have cleaned the gun properly," Maria observed. "I don't think we are looking at a pro here or he would have never picked that type of weapon if he was. Plus the bullet went through the top of Rodgers' arm and straight into the shoulder hole as he was ducking, it never hit the vest in the first place, lucky shot."

"Yeah, too bad the damn thing didn't blow up in his own face instead," Danny added as he slammed his fist down on the table. "Untraceable and lucky. This is not looking good, partner. Add to that this was most likely a random strike and we've got nothing... just 34,998 other targets walking around in uniform until he tries something again. I've gone through all the recent files on Carson and Rodgers and nothing popped. I mean Carson was a supervisor and hasn't been on regular patrol much since making lieutenant six years ago and Rodgers is a rookie, just nine months on the job. Not a lot of time to make enemies like this… plus he was hit in the body, not an instant kill shot like Carson."

"Probably the angle of the gun," Baez reminded. "Shooter was standing outside of the vehicle so he would have had to lean down to get a better look at Rodgers on the far side of the car. A piece like that has a helluva kick. Second shot would be harder if he was in a hurry. Carson was the easy target since he was sitting in the passenger seat writing out a report with the window down. Techs say he was hit first."

"So this guy walks across the street behind the cruiser, bypasses a clean shot on Rodgers to go for Carson… if it wasn't random than he was likely the target."

"Sorry, Danny. I'm still thinking arbitrary there. Carson's scheduled shift was over and there was no way that anyone would know he'd pull Jamie out and take a second tour. Hardly anyone else in the platoon even picked up on it. If someone was planning this it wouldn't have happened that way."

"So we're back to nothing," Danny sighed as he nervously put his hand up and rubbed his stubbly face. "Guy picks a spot where the nearest camera is blocked for the most part by trees, disappears down an alley and we can't find him coming out the other side anywhere. We gotta hope Rodgers can give us something when they wake him up. Anything new on his condition?"

"Doc said he's still critical but stabilizing when I called earlier… they don't see him being strong enough to come off the heavy meds and out of the induced coma until Thursday or Friday at the earliest though."

"Friday," Danny sighed as he leaned back in his chair. "That's when the funeral is scheduled for. Couple thousand cops just standing around out in the street make for easy targets... like shooting fish in a barrel. Dad's gonna have to have tactical in there on all the rooftops for support. I just hope to God that this was a one-off and this guy doesn't have anything planned for a repeat performance because right now he could be anywhere and we don't have a clue what his trigger is yet."

###

Unknown to the detectives, a pair of ice blue eyes had ventured out once more that morning in a dark two-door Mercury to watch from a distance with interest as people came and went from the 3-5 precinct, including the heavily guarded motorcade carrying someone who must be very important given the number of plainclothes officers in the detail. Had to be the Commissioner himself or one of his higher ups coming to console the troops he mused until he caught a glimpse of the man returning to the SUV on the way back out. No mistaking who that was even from a far distance and with an old pair of second-hand glasses on hand for his worsening nearsightedness; damn eye doctors had always warned him to wear shades as much as possible because there was so little pigment in his eyes. He scowled as he slid them down his nose so he could take a better look at the articles sitting on the passenger seat showing that very same towering suit and sunglasses walking a little girl by the hand towards a black car, including the one from the _Post_ with the headline of 'Grand Poo-bah'! in a big blocky damn font. That's the one that had come up first when he had searched the library computer for the name Jayne Marie Jeffers after being released from his little prison stint at the Upstate Correctional Facility in Franklin County a few weeks ago.

According to what he was able to find out, apparently Jayne had gotten herself a little dead when the current piece of crap she was shacking with panicked and ran from the police before flipping his car over a guardrail and down into the river somewhere here in the city. _Damn shame about Jayne, she was a fine piece of tail,_ he had thought at the time since he'd promised to look her up when he got out after serving less than three of the nickel he had been sentenced to for narcotics possession. He wouldn't have given it another thought except the article was all about how the New York City Police Commissioner had been spotted with a two-year-old little girl that had been rescued from the same car as Jayne by his son, Jamison Reagan, who was a Sergeant at the 3-5 now and fostering her with the intentions of adopting.

Jared Quinlan might not have been a mental giant, but he wasn't so dumb that he couldn't figure out that Jayne must have gotten knocked up with that kid about the time she was still running with him... just before the cops picked them both up that one night during a raid at the bar, and one look at the little girl's face in the photo pretty much sealed the deal given the rather distinctive set of light blue eyes that ran through his entire family.

Now Quinlan wasn't really the type looking to be a father or support a kid, in fact he had always been extremely careful about never leaving a DNA trail on record anywhere so that no one could ever nail him for paternity if it came to that. Luckily so far all of the crimes that he had been collared for had fallen below the level for mandatory testing whenever he had rolled on the wrong side of the law, and his latest conviction had come just before the current Governor had signed the 'All Crimes' DNA testing statute into law, but he was known to be extremely possessive with a highly volatile temper and it pissed him off to no end that somebody like this… _a goddamn New York Post-proclaimed golden boy cop from a family of goddamn cops for Christ's sake..._ had just stepped in and took what was rightfully his like it belonged to him in the first place. Well that wasn't going to happen here... there was no way his seed was gonna end up growing up in a family of cops no matter what it took. A little checking had turned up the fact that the adoption had already been finalized so Jared figured step one was to get rid of the major obstacle in his way, namely this effing Jamison Reagan, before he could come in later after things cooled off and claim the kid himself... and if they wouldn't give her to him as the biological father… well then he would just figure out a way to take her and be done with it.

With his sensitive eyes irritated by the distance he was being forced to keep away from the precinct this morning due to the added security for the Commissioner's arrival, Jared was tempted to pull up stakes and call it a day before he glanced over at his heavily bandaged right hand. He had been so incensed when he'd flipped on the news yesterday afternoon and discovered he'd failed to hit his intended target that he had put his fist through the nearest wall, unfortunately striking the side of one of the studs as it crashed through the flimsy drywall of the cheap fleabag hotel he was staying at. What's worse was that damn Officer Rodgers, the one that was so freaking stupid that he didn't even know who he was partnering with that day, had managed to make it out of the car alive somehow when the crappy old gun of his uncle's had jammed after just two shots, although the news had mentioned he was in a coma in critical condition so there was hope anyway. Still, the faster he finished this up and got his ass out of the city and back upstate to lay low for a while the better. This time he had a picture of his target right there in front of him as a quick Google search had revealed any number of images to choose from.

"Shoulda thought of that in the first place," he griped before his angry blue eyes lit up in disbelief as he suddenly noticed the identical, but somewhat bruised face in those photos was walking down the sidewalk straight towards him dressed in street clothes. Jared's hand trembled as he carefully reached under the seat for his gun once more, but he reconsidered his options as a number of RMPs were pulling out of the motor pool lot at that moment to start their tours. Instead he ducked down in his seat and turned a little as Jamie passed by with a quick step and he watched with interest in the rearview mirror as his intended mark stopped and entered a secured building just down the way with a colorful sign for 'KinderCare' out front. "Well I'll be damned," he muttered with a smile as he watched an off-duty Sergeant Reagan reappear in just a few minutes with a small, excited companion skipping along at his side. Jamie was so preoccupied with the events of the past day and his now apparent exile from work, he failed to notice as he drove his Mustang away that he had picked up a careful but interested shadow… one that followed him to a park and watched him play for an hour with a matching blue-eyed little girl, and then on to the hospital where they remained through the early afternoon before he reappeared to pull the car around to the front and helped a blond-haired woman accompanied by the child and an older lady inside. His stalker remained hidden but just within reach as he drove up to a Lower East Side apartment building to park on the street.

Quinlan sat back with a satisfied smirk as he watched the four enter the front doors as a group while he subconsciously rubbed his bruised and cut up hand. Now that it appeared like he knew where this Reagan lived, he could pick him off more easily with a smaller gun that offered less kickback and more reliability than the old Magnum did since he could catch him off guard, away from other officers and out of that damn Kevlar vest. "I'll be back for you tomorrow morning," Quinlan smiled as he put his car in gear, eager to take the rest of the day himself to go out and score a little weed, whiskey and maybe some pretty tail too. The ladies always fell hard and easy for those blue eyes of his anyway.

###

Unaware of the danger now focused squarely on him, Jamie busied himself making Eddie comfortable on the couch in the living room where she insisted on settling herself for the rest of the afternoon in spite of his objections. After speaking at length to Frank earlier, it was her intention to keep a continued close eye on him while he thought he was doing the same for her. He pulled the shades to keep the room darker and brought pillows and a blanket out from the bedroom, all the while apologizing profusely to Eva for the cluttered state of the apartment which at this point was just one more thing grating on his already raw nerves. Still, he managed to successfully suppress most outward signs of the increasing stress he was under, and from all appearances seemed resolved to the cards that had been dealt to him over the past two days. Anxious to keep the attention off himself, he steered the conversation towards a topic that had never failed before to keep Eddie and any other woman in a five-block radius wholly occupied: the wedding planning.

"So," he started as he addressed his fiancée and her mother from a seat in an adjacent chair. "Are we, um, okay with everything for the big day then?" he asked knowing that the grand plan had originally involved a trip out to the McPherson's estate the following day so that Eva could see the venue for the ceremony and the reception before she was due for a flight out at six o'clock, while the florist appointment for today had already obviously been cancelled. "I mean I know we were supposed to go see Tom and Lillian tomorrow, but the doctor said that she should stay in bed the next few days and have someone watching her," he added as he met Eva's eyes and noted an interesting, almost imperceptible twitch of her nose… the same exact one Eddie produced every time Addison's name was mentioned. Imagine that, he thought… a hereditary tell for the Janko women. "Is there anything we can do from here before I take you to the airport in the afternoon?"

"I'll be fine," Eddie insisted as she sat up straighter even though the short drive from the hospital had left her feeling a little nauseous. "We can still go. It's only a little more than an hour from here. Mom really wanted to see the place, Jamie. I'll just lay in the back of the car and close my eyes."

"That's not happening, Ed… no way," he was shaking his head, ready to put his foot down before her mother stepped in with yet another shocker.

"It's not necessary, Edit," Eva smiled with even intent as she was not prepared to let her future son-in-law off the hook quite that easily. Adept at controlling relationships, she could certainly sense his reluctance and so was prepared to use that to her advantage. There were concerns that Eva Janko intended to speak her mind about, and as she stated before she didn't like to sugar-coat things so the fact that she could corner him alone was all the better. "I'm sure that Jamison wouldn't mind driving me out there himself while you stay home and rest as the doctor ordered. We'll take Kaylin with us so you have complete peace and quiet. He's right to be concerned about you. Besides, it will give us some time to talk and get to know one another a bit better since we'll be family in just a few months, correct? You spend so much time with the Reagans, dear. I'd hate to miss the small opportunity I have with him while I'm here in the city since it is difficult for me to get away from Rochester very often. Will that be a problem?" she asked sweetly as she turned to meet Jamie's eyes and smiled once more.

"Absolutely not, I'd be glad to take you out there," he replied with an equally direct look while plastering on his best remaining 'mothers all love me' poker face as his heart thudded a little and Eddie shrank back against the cushions in renewed shock, rendered speechless once more.

* * *

 _Boy, the hits just keep coming for Jamie, don't they? Poor guy. Next up of course is a rather interesting day trip for both him and mommazilla that thankfully frustrates our bad guy, at least for now… c'mon, I can't really have him go after Eva, can I? Did anyone guess it was Kaylin's baby daddy? I think we had at least a few chime in with that possibility. In the original series, he would have been the one that died with Jayne in the car crash upstate, but no such luck this time. Or did you think I was maybe slipping Mason Malevsky from "Resurrection" in here? I think he had cold grey eyes… wonder what he's up to these days, Hmm? Probably working on that damn car but that's for much, much later!_


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"Reagan, you don't have to do this," Eddie worried as she lay in bed curled up next to him during the early morning hours as the first soft light was starting to filter in through the windows. The night had been restless for both of them, and not for entirely different reasons. "You've got so much on your mind and after everything that's happened the last few days, the last thing you need to do is spend the whole afternoon in the car with my mother… trust me, it's the absolute _last_ thing," she emphasized.

"I'll handle it, Ed," was his resigned reply as he rested on his back as he had for many of the last sleepless hours with both hands crossed over his forehead, lost in thought. "If it's a choice between being grilled by my future mother-in-law or the department shrink... I'll take a road trip with Eva anytime."

"You say that now…" she muttered as she likewise rolled over on her back and stared at the still-dark ceiling while her hand went automatically to the side of her face to feel the small bandage over the stitches there. Dr. Miller had assured her that all would be healed well before the wedding and that he was indeed an artist who was able to make all types of imperfections like that jagged cut disappear without a virtual trace. Eddie was not truly vain when it came to things like that but every bride wanted to look her best on the big day so it did worry her a bit and she hated that it was a constant visible reminder for all the issues swirling about for Jamie right now.

As if on cue, she heard his breath hitch and instantly regretted her action. "Does your head hurt again?" Jamie asked with immediate concern as he sensed her movement and turned on his side to face her. He had been hovering virtually nonstop since they arrived home the afternoon before and she had not been able persuade him to relax his vigilance at all.

"Just a little," she admitted knowing that he would totally be able to tell if she was lying, even in the state his own mind was in, and that would upset him far more than the truth. The headaches were improving but there were still times like now when a deep throbbing pain set in… still she tried to minimize her reaction to not upset him further.

"I don't want you here alone then," he fretted. "The doctor said we need to…"

"The doctor said I'm gonna be fine and just need to rest for a few days," she reminded as she reached over and sought his hand to give it a reassuring squeeze. "Besides, I already know that you've set up a whole schedule of people to stop in and come sit with me all afternoon while you're gone. I'll hardly be alone."

"I worry…" he murmured.

"...too much," she finished for him.

A heavy sigh was his only rebuttal as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and slipped on a t-shirt before leaving the bedroom without another word to go sit out in the kitchen and brood some more alone.

The honest truth was that she was the one riddled with concern this time. Eddie had overheard him on the phone when he thought she was sleeping late the previous afternoon, after Eva left in a cab for her hotel once more, and she knew that he had already set up an appointment with Dr. Grace Meherin, the department psychologist known within their circles as "Amazing Grace" for early Thursday morning. She realized Renzulli's insistence that Jamie be cleared by the doctor before he could regain his command was presently a source of tremendous irritation for him, but she was secretly relieved because it was obvious that he was currently overwhelmed and needed the help. No one else except maybe Frank himself would have had the leverage needed to force him to do that, and that part cleared up some of the reason behind his former TO's appointment to the 3-5, but Eddie still had a niggling feeling that there was still more to it. Any CO should have been able to compel him to do the same on the Commissioner's direct orders, but Jamie's father had been quick to bring Renzulli in. Little did she know that some of the answers to her questions would come from an unlikely source late that very afternoon.

###

"Tom, Lillian… thank you so much for taking the time to show me around your lovely home, it's certainly a beautiful spot for a wedding," Eva assured as she left her hosts to delight in spending some one-on-one time with Kaylin while she went off in search of her missing companion. Jamie had begged off on the tour of the house where the reception was to be catered in one of the large halls of the venerable estate and the older Janko woman found him back up at the smaller quaint cathedral-style church that was part of the abandoned Catholic monastery on the grounds. Eddie had told her that one of the reasons they had chosen this place, aside from the obvious financial advantages since the McPherson's were Jamie's godparents and had offered its use, was that his mother, Mary Reagan, always had a spiritual connection here and it had been one of her favorite meditation spots. The relaxed atmosphere of the grounds with its open fields bordered by wooded corridors certainly made for a peaceful, quiet setting… especially on a sunny warm day like today. Eva Janko herself was not the religious type, but she could appreciate the fact that this venue held a special connection for the family, and it was quite a perfect place to hold the smaller, select-invitation wedding they were planning.

Jamie had made his way back up to the church while Eva and Kaylin were preoccupied and sunk down in a familiar spot in the front pew, a place he had come numerous times with his mother when he was a little boy. He sought solace there today from the many uncomfortable feelings that had been plaguing him since the awful events had unfolded on Monday, but he was finding it difficult to come up with the words to the prayers that were usually all too familiar to him. Instead he found himself just sitting there, consumed by the guilt and the worry that had fallen over him in recent days. He was thoroughly surprised though when another woman's presence suddenly appeared on the seat next to him.

"It's a beautiful spot for the ceremony, Jamison," Eva commented as she sat and smoothed out her classically unwrinkled skirt and crossed a leg over her knee while facing forward. "Especially for the candlelight service Edit is planning. The McPherson's are taking Kaylin on a walk out to feed the ducks at their pond," she advised. "She's very excited… I believe they gave her a whole little bucket of food to carry along. It may be a while until they bring her back."

"That's okay," he murmured with the hint of a smile and a small laugh remembering the many occasions Tom and Lillian had done the same with him. "She'll love that. We have lots of time to get you to the airport."

"Indeed," Eva agreed as she sat in silence for a few more moments, looking for the right opportunity to speak what was on her mind. "Edit mentioned that you came here often with your mother when you were young."

"Yes," he sighed as he sat back and looked up at the old cross still hanging near the rafters. "When my sister and brothers were in school while I was little and still at home all the time, she'd drive us up here on days like this to sit and have some private time with God, as she would put it. I just liked to come and feed the ducks," he admitted with a small smirk.

"You were close to your mother," Eva observed. "I'm sorry for you that she passed so young."

"Yes, I miss her every day," he revealed as he rubbed his hands over his face and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "She would have loved Eddie, you know," he opened up a little as he glanced over. "Mom always told me I needed someone feisty who knew how to put me in my place and your daughter can certainly do that."

"Your father mentioned that Mary was the one who encouraged you to go to law school when we spoke the other day," she said as she artfully steered the conversation exactly where she wanted. Despite her daughter's concerns about her being outspoken and the major eye rolls and silent angst expressed behind his back while they said their tearful goodbyes before leaving the apartment, Eva hadn't planned to attack Jamie in any way openly today… she was not a wholly insensitive monster after all… but she did not intend to leave this city without being clear on her position and she hoped it would leave him with much to consider. "I assume that means she did not want you to follow the rest of the family into law enforcement?" she asked, knowing full well that Frank had himself confirmed that and Eddie had told her previously this had always been a touchy subject for him.

"No, Mom didn't want that for me," Jamie admitted, still oblivious to her real intentions as his normally sharp radar for this type of thing had been dulled along with the rest of his senses. "That's why I went to Harvard instead, until Joe…" he trailed off. "She was already gone by then when I changed my mind after graduation," he finished in a soulful whisper after a long pause as his eyes went back to the floor in guilt. He was sitting in church after all and what he had just confessed to Eva was only outwardly true when in fact he had changed his mind about being a cop much, much earlier than that but hadn't had the courage to reveal it to anyone else including his own mother before it was too late. His pulse quickened and his eyes narrowed as some of the pain and anxiety surrounding that terrible situation which revolved around Mary's death came back to the forefront.

"I can understand her feelings on that after what I saw at the hospital the other day," Eva admitted as she was poised for the kill shot herself while his defenses were down and he was completely emotionally vulnerable. "This isn't the life that I want for my child either, Jamison," she said very clearly without ambiguity. "Would you not say the same about your own daughter? Can you imagine her being put in danger like that?"

There was a long, heavy pause while that remark rushed into him like the ice cold water he had laid in all that time in the collapsed basement at the Bridgewater building… the last time he had been forced to make his peace and had prepared to say goodbye while knowing how much heartache that action would cause for the ones left behind. To put Kaylin in that place instead while he stood outside and waited as his father had been forced to do was unimaginable… and Eddie, had her mother really just told him that she didn't approve of their marriage?

"I'll be back down at the car whenever you're ready to go," Eva said softly as his once-again stunned heart listened to the clip of her retreating heels as they disappeared down the aisle.

* * *

 _Yikes. Set him up with the talk about Mary and got him square with both barrels over Kaylin there didn't she? Mommazilla is definitely not a sugar-coater, and she tends to leave a mark. Next, Danny stops in to visit Eddie before Jamie returns and sheds some light on what might really be going on with his little brother and we find out what Quinlan was up to for the day._


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"Danny," Eddie sighed as she peered through the peephole as yet another Reagan appeared at the threshold of the apartment that afternoon. That made three as Erin had dropped off lunch and stayed for a visit just an hour after Jamie and her mother had departed; Nicki just happened to be "in the neighborhood" between her classes across town at Columbia around three o'clock, and now here was Daniel Reagan of all people on her doorstep at five, although frankly that one surprised her as she hardly expected that he would have taken a break from such an important case to drop by and check in on her.

"Come on in," she offered as she swung the door open before making her way back to plop down on the couch with her pillows and blanket so the report to his brother would read that he had found the suspect resting as ordered or there would no doubt be hell to pay.

"I was just in the…" he started.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she interrupted. "I've got the drill... you were just in the neighborhood. Lose the act," she advised with a shake of her head. "I had Jamie pegged for this before he even stepped foot out of the door this morning."

"You know my little brother so well," Danny admitted with a little grin as he sat his own tired self down in the comfortable leather chair across from her and deliberately put his feet up on the coffee table since Linda was not there to shoot him the evil eye for _that,_ even though he knew someone else might if he were here. He'd have to make this fast or Jamie would get home to find them both passed out and sound asleep in the living room, although that didn't sound like such a bad idea at the moment. The older Reagan brother was exhausted and frustrated himself with all the brick walls he had been hitting during the urgent search for the shooter so had welcomed the chance to pop over here for a little while to clear his head.

Absolutely nothing new had developed on the case all day long, but Danny would have been stunned to know that he had just passed within a few feet of his quarry minutes earlier as Quinlan himself was sitting in his car parked near Jamie's usual spot down the street and growing weary with the long wait for his target to return. The wanted man had sworn at himself for missing yet another opportunity late this morning when that damn snooty-looking old woman had accompanied Reagan to his car with the child once more and he was loath to try another daytime double shot after leaving a witness the last time… still it had been tempting as he could have easily grabbed the little girl at the same moment and saved himself another trip down here later. A nighttime hit would be safer he reasoned, but his already failing eyesight left him little choice as a lifetime of chain smoking, alcohol abuse and excessive exposure to sunlight was causing him to develop a set of undiagnosed cataracts at a young age and his vision was even worse in the dark. Cursing the Reagan name, Jared looked at the time and decided to call it a day and return the next morning as he sped off in the Mercury to go get something to eat. Sooner or later Jamie was going to venture out on his own and the plan was for him to never come back.

Up in the apartment, Eddie was still frowning at Danny's last comment regarding his brother. "I don't feel like I know him at all this week anymore," she admitted. "He's not himself."

"Unfortunately, this is him," he corrected. "It's just a side you were lucky never to see before and one we hoped to never have to deal with again."

"What do you mean by that, Danny?" she pleaded as her alarm rose to another level with those words. "I talked to your dad, and he said to just watch Jamie carefully… that this is sometimes the way he reacts to stressful situations, but there's more to it, isn't there? I've seen all the looks that you've been giving each other and what Frank did with Renzulli… please tell me what's going on! I need to know how to help him!"

"It's complicated," Danny admitted with a heavy sigh. "The best way to describe it I guess is that he has a kind of self-destruct mode when things get tough like this."

"Self destruct?!" she gasped as she sat straight up and stared at him with wide eyes, suddenly envisioning the worst possible scenarios. "Like he'll _hurt_ himself? Danny, is that what you're saying?! That's what I have to be worried about?!"

"NO! God no! Nothing like that…" he tried to assure as he kicked himself for upsetting her with such a poor word choice. Unfortunately though the truth was no less ugly. "I'm sorry for putting it that way, but it's almost worse... we're not afraid of him going out and eating his gun on purpose or anything like that. It's just that he doesn't even seem to realize what's going on which is scarier," he paused as he searched for the right approach while she still looked at him wildly. "Joe understood him," Danny continued to explain. "He always said that Jamie's brain is so ordered that when something knocks him hard enough out of whack he kind of ignores the parts about himself while he starts to restructure and put things in place… he's not settled until everything is back on the right shelf and perfectly aligned; it's like stacking boxes in a closet. Until he gets things sorted out the way he wants them again he forgets to do things like eat or watch out for himself... or how can I put it?" he muttered as saw her still-puzzled face and peered around the room until his eyes fell on the windows. "Like if the two of you were walking on the street and a bus was headed straight for you, he would completely see it coming and push you out of the way, but if he was about to be hit he'd never notice the lights until it was too late, understand? That's why dad wanted him pulled off the street; he can't afford to have him out there when he's this way."

"And this has happened before?" Eddie asked, still stunned at the depth of the answer she received in the first place. She hadn't really expected Danny of all people to be that candid with her. Even Frank had made more of an effort to fluff things over in their phone conversation yesterday. "I mean obviously…"

"Yeah, of course," he admitted. "I mean he's kinda been this way all his life... ever since he was a little kid and stuff like switching bedrooms was enough to make him scare the bejesus out of the whole family by breaking out in night terrors there for a while, or later when he was older around stressful times like finals at school and stuff, but Joe could always handle things and talk him out of it so the rest of us didn't really notice what was going on, except maybe my mom," he admitted. "She always said he was too sensitive to be a cop."

"But it got worse?" Eddie pried now that they were getting somewhere and parts of this was making sense to her now.

"When my mom passed," he admitted with a sad gaze. "He was at Harvard at the time. I mean the rest of us all knew it was coming pretty quick there at the end but she kept the worst from him and wouldn't let us bring Jamie home that last day before… before she left because he was in the middle of midterms and she knew seeing her like that would destroy him. She slipped into a coma from the morphine while Joe went to get him from Boston that night so he never really got to say goodbye before she died… she left him a letter and a recording, but it wasn't the same."

Eddie blinked back big tears thinking about what that must have done to him while Danny took a few moments to compose himself. There was so much about Jamie's family life before that she had no idea about, the Reagans always seemed so… perfect that way. "Mom thought she had more time, but that was a mistake," he admitted gruffly with a heavy heart. "That one was our fault… damn tests could have waited," he added before continuing. "When he got back to school for the next term… Joe wasn't there to head things off and it came out in sleepwalking. He ended up outside one night in the street and nearly got hit by a car. Luckily he had Spencer, but… he wasn't really prepared to deal with it at first either."

"And then Joe was gone," she surmised sadly, already reading between the lines to where this was headed.

"Yeah, and then there was that," Danny sighed. "Jamie ended up with wicked nightmares for a while and he was with Syd… sorry, hope you don't mind that I brought her up," he added before carrying on when Eddie shook her head. His little brother was going to kill him outright if he ever caught wind of this conversation taking place. "Jesus, promise me that you won't ever tell him I was talking to you about this or I'm a dead man walking and no one will ever find the body," he grimaced.

"Please Danny," Eddie urged. "Keep going. I need to know… I have to help him."

"That all happened just a couple of weeks before their big graduation. Sydney tried to help him for a little while, but she was always too much about herself and got frustrated when he told her he was suddenly dropping law to enter the academy, so he moved home for a few months before they worked it out until she eventually left for good when he got caught up in the whole Blue Templar investigation over Joe's death. He threw himself into that alone and shut us out until he almost got himself killed there because he was so focused the bus nearly hit him before we could pull him away," he answered grimly remembering that terrifying time. "If you wanna know more about that you're going to have to talk to him yourself. I can't go there."

Eddie nodded in understanding, he had already revealed far more that she had ever imagined. "And finally there was Vinny," she stated. "What got him through that?"

"You did," Danny smiled. "This sassy, short blond-haired opinionated partner showed up in his life and knocked him hard enough on his ass to made him smile again. He focused on you and that's why he was so scared to change things up for so long… you didn't know it at the time but you were his lifeline through that."

"But not this time," she frowned. "He's shutting me out too. The only one that can reach him is…"

"Kaylin," Danny agreed. "Yeah, I figured that would happen and you can't take it personally. Like I said though, he doesn't even realize he's doing it. You might have been able to talk him out of this like Joe except for the fact that you got hurt too and he feels responsible, so you're thrown into the mix that he's gotta sort out and fix with everything else. He won't let you help him until your box is back on the right shelf."

"Once, after I shot that guy in the courtyard… he said you told him when he was going through something big like this, not to look for something bigger," Eddie mused.

"Well my over-responsible tight-assed brother likes to dish that advice out, but he's not good at takin' it," Danny snorted as he sat back. It felt better to know that Eddie was more prepared to deal with this somehow. "I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Joe always said you could judge where Jamie's at with something by the music he's listening too. His buddy George from CompStat could probably lock it down to a science for you. Anything above 1995 or just regular old headbanger classics and you're good. You see him get into any of that awful English stuff that Joe used to love from the 80s and you know you have a real problem and need to go hide the single malt."

Eddie managed a little laugh at the break in tension. Honestly, this had been one of the longest conversations she ever recalled having with Jamie's older brother and it had certainly been revealing. At least she felt she had a bit of a handle on things even though Jamie's current state still terrified her, and she certainly had no idea what to expect when he returned from his little afternoon jaunt with her mother. "I'll keep that in mind," she promised. "One more thing though, maybe you can't answer… but why Renzulli? Why'd your dad make such a point of putting him in charge of Jamie again? I know it was no coincidence, and it's really set him off. I've never seen him so angry with Sarge before."

"Renzulli used to ride with Joe," Danny answered as he stood up and prepared to leave. "He's got real insights into people. The two of them sat there and talked their way through a couple of these things with Jamie before… when he went away to Harvard and I gave him a tough time about being a lawyer, he felt disconnected from the family and then when my mother died you know. Renzulli knows Jamie almost as well as Joe did. That's why dad put him there. Tony can see through him too, and Jamie has some respect for the man even if he's a little pissed at him right now for pulling his badge and gun."

"Danny, wait," Eddie said as she stopped him while she absorbed and processed everything he had said. There was one thing though that bothered her and didn't seem to fit with what she'd seen herself. "You said several times now that Jamie doesn't even know this is really happening to him or that he can't see the danger coming when he's like this."

"Not usually, no," he agreed as he frowned while getting a sense of where she was going with this. Maybe he didn't have his little brother figured out as well as he thought he did. "Why?"

"He told me the day of the shooting, after Mrs. Carson hit him…" she twitched as she could sense that she was about to sideswipe Danny with something new that contradicted what had been the normal pattern before. "He was worried about Henry's house being too much for us to handle now… especially for me because he was afraid something was going to happen to him," she revealed while meeting his eyes. "Not afraid… that's not the right word, more like he was _sure_ somehow. He said that after everything he's been through since Vinny… the pneumonia and how he walked away from after the building collapse… now this... he said that his luck was gonna run out and it was just a matter of time. He sounded resigned to that… it scared me, Danny. I've never heard him say stuff like that before… like he was ready to give up. I don't know how much more of this he can take."

"Damn the Carson woman for putting _that_ in his head," he swore under his breath. If she had him thinking that he deserved it... maybe they had all miscalculated and it was gonna wind up costing them horribly this time. If Jamie was aware of the danger and just didn't care instead...

"Well, that changes things," he admitted out loud as he looked at Eddie and rubbed the back of his neck. "I need to talk to Dad. We're all gonna have to keep a better eye on him this time."

* * *

 _Next, Jared moves in for his second attempt while Jamie meets up with Dr. Meherin for the first time over this situation in an effort to get reinstated back to his patrol. Her advice might just put him squarely in Quinlan's sights though while Danny and Baez get their first big break in the case._


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"So I guess I'm here for another trauma debriefing," Jamie acknowledged flatly as he sat down in front of Dr. Grace Meherin's desk for her first available early bird appointment at seven o'clock on Thursday morning; an untimely departure that once again had thwarted an increasingly vexed presence outside of his apartment who arrived just as the Mustang was pulling away. Quinlan's hands were getting increasingly twitchy, and he had a sense that he needed to finish this and get out of town fast before anyone got suspicious, plus he was getting sick of the craptastic hotel he was in and running out of dough.

"You're referring to your first visit here in 2012," Dr. Meherin commented as she scanned Jamie's file. "That was a standard interview after an officer-involved shooting," she reminded him. "Gavin Bryant, the man who threatened the children in the park with an empty gun," she confirmed as she looked over her glasses and tipped the manilla folder down. "Deemed a 'suicide by cop'. You were a third-year officer at the time."

"Yeah," Jamie answered as he nervously chewed his lip, somehow he was getting a different vibe from the good doctor this time and it instantly worried him.

"And then I saw you later that spring in 2013 for a few sessions after you were struck in the vest by a bullet fired by a sniper and your partner… Vincent Cruz… was killed in the line of duty."

Jamie still flinched whenever anyone brought up that incident in such a candid fashion. Now it was just a cold line or two in a report shoved in a folder somewhere… that's what Vinny had been reduced to. "Yes," he admitted. "So I kinda know the drill. Can we get this over with so I can get back to work, please?"

"We had one more meeting when you were involved in another deadly force incident last year… John Johanssen, the man threatening to bomb the union hall? That was before you were forced to take an extended medical leave in the summer for pneumonia as the result of an arrest on the job followed by another incident in December where you were injured when you and your partner were personally targeted by other officers and a member of the NYPD legal counsel?"

"Obviously, it's all there on the paper, isn't it?" Jamie sighed with growing frustration. "Another bad guy that gave me no choice while threatening the lives of more than a dozen other people, and I'm fully recovered from that time in the hospital and the building collapse only caused bruises. Is there a point to this walk down memory lane… are you trying to tell me I've got too many notches on my belt now or that I've used up all of my allotted departmental shrink hours?"

"Of course not," she smiled slightly as she closed the folder and set it carefully down on her desk. "I am just reiterating that you've had an eventful few years since coming on the force, but this incident is not quite the same. You were neither directly involved in the event nor physically affected by it... however, your commanding officer, a Lieutenant Renzulli, has some concerns about your potential reaction."

"My commanding officer was Lieutenant Robert Carson, and he's dead now because he took my ride from me that morning and sent me home to sleep since I was sick. Renzulli was my CO for all of five minutes before he yanked my badge."

"But he was your training officer and sergeant previously at the 12th precinct…"

"Well, yeah."

"... and you seem angry about that even though he must know you quite well."

 _"I'm_ a sergeant and training officer now! I need to be out there with my guys looking for the skell that did this to Lieutenant Carson and Officer Rodgers, not sitting in a comfy chair in a nice office chatting with you or at home playing house with my girlfriend because everyone's worried Commissioner Reagan's son is too fragile to do his job!" Jamie seethed as his voice ratcheted up a notch. "So what? This is a full scale psych evaluation instead? Do I need to contact my union rep? Is my job on the line here?"

"No," Dr. Meherin revealed. "Sergeant Reagan, no one has insinuated that you've done anything wrong, in fact you have been credited with being extraordinarily professional given the events that followed at the hospital. We are in waters somewhere beyond a normal trauma debriefing though, but everything you say here will be kept confidential and off the record. I'm not reporting details back to the department. You will, however, not be eligible to return to duty until I've cleared you on your Lieutenant's orders."

"So basically it is mandatory then? My dad set this up, right? None of it would be an issue except for who he is and my last name! I take it you've already diagnosed me based on what you've heard from him… I'm not sure why I even bothered to show up," Jamie frowned. So much for getting this meeting over with so he could waive the paper in Renzulli's face and reclaim his office and place at the 3-5. It sounded like he was going to see more of Amazing Grace than he had anticipated.

"Think of it as a preventative service. Trauma-related guilt like this will commonly lead to a full-blown case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

"Perfect… now I have trauma-related guilt," Jamie hemmed before he shook his head in disbelief and sat back in the chair just as a serious migraine hit straight behind his eyes… instantly and out of the blue. For a second his vision blurred and the right side of his face went numb… forget Eddie, he was the one with the crushing headache right now, or maybe he was being struck down with a stroke as the universe finally caught up and evened the score. "What?" he struggled as he tried to cover and battled through it while rubbing his eye. "There's no nifty little acronym for that? TRGS doesn't work? You just got done telling me this incident is different because I was neither directly involved in the event nor physically affected by it," he added as he blinked heavily until the focus returned… so much for that notion. "I _showed_ up to work that day even though I was sick. I should have been in that car! Carson ordered me home. He made that decision, not me… I didn't have a _choice!"_ he spat as he reeled back in his seat. "I feel guilty about sitting _here_ while my officers are out there! Let me go do my job and maybe I won't feel guilty anymore!"

"It's also known as survivor guilt," Dr. Meherin continued calmly although it was apparent she had hit him directly on point, and given the notes she had on the widow's reaction it had been a good call on Renzulli's part to push this although she also had the strong suspicion that perhaps the impetus had come unofficially from much higher up the chain of command given Jamie's last name. "Survivor guilt is often experienced when a person has made it through some kind of traumatic event while others have not. A person may question why he survived. He may even blame himself for surviving a traumatic event as if he did something wrong… a combat veteran may think to himself that he should have done something different to prevent the death of a fellow soldier even though the event may have been completely out of his control as it was here. It is serious, and has been linked to a number of negative consequences besides PTSD… depression, low self-esteem… thoughts of suicide."

"Yeah, but I don't have any of those," Jamie insisted in complete denial as he rubbed his temple while his head continued to pound. "Please, Dr. Meherin... I'm getting married in four months to the love of my life, and I have my daughter to take care of. I'm not depressed or suicidal. I just want to know how I can get my badge back."

"We address trauma-related guilt through a number of treatments," she advised. "Cognitive-behavioral therapy to focus on the way you think or interpret a situation so you become more aware of the thoughts or beliefs that underlie feelings of guilt, such as through self-monitoring. Psychodynamic and psychoanalytic approaches aid by exploring early life experiences… for example, relationships with significant others, early childhood traumas or fears to identify experiences and factors that may make someone more likely to feel trauma-related guilt and shame."

"So basically I'm screwed for the near future until you work your shrink voodoo on me... is what you're saying?" he sighed as the gnawing fear shifted to his stomach and he felt sick at the prospect of sitting in this chair and reliving personal things with a virtual stranger. He had to do something… had to get back to work or sitting home in that cluttered apartment for one more day _would_ have him walking off a bridge, in front of a bus or out looking for another line of work. Although, to be honest at the moment that last option sounded like a better course of action given what Eva had thrown at him yesterday… thoughts that he had kept private in spite of the intense but 'subtle' grilling technique Eddie had used on him the whole of last evening after he'd returned home. _She really needs to fine tune her approach if she ever wants to be a detective in the box with a perp,_ he thought with a frown. A lawyer wouldn't need to go through this, and as a cop everyone it seemed was eager to interrogate him.

"Jamie, look at the physical reaction you are having right now just talking about this with me. You are thoroughly stressed, and that's your body's way of asking for help… we need to find a positive outlet for that as a start. You're obviously a good person, a father… you mentioned your little girl... and an excellent police officer and tremendous asset to the NYPD. Let's keep it that way. This needs to be addressed… no one wants to see you wind up with long-term consequences either physically or mentally and you've obviously got concerned people around to help, but it's going to take some work."

"Well, it's not like I have a choice, now do I?" he replied as he looked up and met Amazing Grace's sympathetic eyes with a frustrated cold stare made even worse by that streak of blood still evident in the left from Mrs. Carson's strike; the one that still turned his stomach every time he looked in the mirror. Then again, maybe he did… maybe he did have a choice and could make this all go away by himself without anyone else's help, but that would be for later… right now he just had to play along. _Let the games begin,_ he thought.

"Where do we start?"

###

"Danny! Hey!" Detective Maria Baez called across the room as she snapped her fingers to catch his attention while still holding the receiver to her ear. "Thank you so much, Dr. Jennings," she spoke into the phone as she finished her conversation. "My partner and I will be down there as soon as possible."

"We got something?" Danny asked as he noted her excitement and hurried over. It had been nearly three days now since the shooting and the task force had come up with virtually nothing in the meantime as the senior detectives on the case were feeling more than their share of heat with a heavy shadow rolling in from 1PP. Lieutenant Ghormley had become a near constant presence there in addition to the added pressure of a public funeral scheduled for the next day where untold numbers of cops would gather.

"That was the hospital," she advised as she grabbed her badge and gun before flipping the car keys over to him. "Officer Rodgers is waking up. He's still on the ventilator but he's responsive enough for us to try talk to. We need to get down there while he's conscious."

"Now we're getting somewhere," Danny agreed as the pair rushed out of the squad for the short trip over to St. Victor's and up to the fourth floor where twenty-two-year-old Martin Rodgers was resting in a hospital bed, still attached to any number of machines including one that continued to perform the all-important task of breathing for him on occasion when he tired. Danny steeled himself as the young man's tearful mother was steadied and reluctantly led away by her husband who gave the detectives a knowing nod; he was a retired veteran cop out of Jersey City and he understood why they were there for his boy… a son that would never walk again but had come out of that car far luckier than the man he was riding with.

"Officer Rodgers… Martin," Maria said softly as she leaned over the bed so she was in his line of sight and placed her hand on his arm. "I'm Detective Baez and this is Detective Reagan. We're so sorry to bother you but we'd like to ask you a few questions if we can..." she started as Rodgers eyes immediately shifted over to Danny and locked on him.

"Martin, I know this is hard for you," Danny followed as the young man continued to stare at him in an intent sort of fashion as if he was trying to communicate something immediately. "The doctor said you're doing well and they will be taking that tube out soon but anything you can tell us in the meantime will help. We need to find the person that did this to you. Can you blink once for yes and twice for no?"

One firm blink was answer enough.

"Did you see the person that did this to you and Lieutenant Carson?" Maria started to run through the standard questions while Martin kept his eyes riveted on Danny.

Blink.

"Do you know who this person is?"

Two blinks.

"Have you ever seen him before?"

Blink.

Martin's eyes were still locked on the detective. He blinked once more, slowly and deliberately and the older Reagan brother had a sudden uneasy thought... Martin had focused on him immediately after hearing his last name… a name he shared with his brother who was meant to be in the car with him that day. "Martin, is this is about Sergeant Reagan? Does he know the shooter?"

Once more a firm blink answered although the eyes were growing duller as exhaustion was settling in and the young man slowly drifted back to the sleep his ravaged body needed so desperately. A nurse soon stepped in to check his medications and escort them out, advising them that it would likely be several hours before Rodgers woke up again.

"This doesn't make any sense!" Danny griped as he stalked back and forth down the hall from ICU while Maria watched, giving him the space he needed to settle before she could hope to talk to him. "Jamie knows this guy, but he shoots Carson and Rodgers instead? We still got nothing! And how would Rodgers know that in the first place? He's normally from a different platoon… he was pulling a double. Jamie's not even his usual sergeant and said he'd never ridden with him before… barely knows who he is. There has to be something in that. Maybe Rodgers was wrong."

"Seemed pretty sure of himself in there," Maria reminded. "We need to go talk to Jamie and show him the tape, maybe he can give us something." Danny instantly froze in place before turning to look at her.

"You want my brother to watch the tape of the shooting? Seriously so _NOT_ going to happen, Baez," he seethed.

"Danny, if it was anyone else…"

"Yeah, but it's not! It's Jamie who's been through… _is_ going through hell on this already. We put that image in his head and it will never come out, trust me you know how he is! He's already heard the description… if he had any idea of who this might be he would have said so."

"Video shows more," she continued to insist. "Could be the guy's body language, mannerisms trigger something for him… Your dad put me in charge of this investigation. We have nothing… I have to use anything and pursue every possibility."

"Trigger, yeah use that word…" Danny said shaking his head. _"NO!"_

The two partners continued to stare at each other defiantly for several more seconds in the hallway, completely at odds with their next move. Maria was just about to open her mouth and insist once more that they head over to interview Jamie when Danny snatched the keys out of his pocket and jingled them at her. "C'mon," he demanded as he desperately tried to think of a way to avert her plans. "We're headed over to TARU headquarters to have them pull the feeds of all the cameras around the 3-5. If Rodgers saw this guy with Jamie, it had to be there. The witnesses on scene said the shooter didn't say one word before he opened fire. It's the only thing that makes sense… maybe it's a perp they brought in recently looking for payback… maybe Carson knew him too and that's why he was the target."

"Alright, Danny," Maria conceded with a frown. "But if nothing pans out there, and fast... I'm headed over to talk to your brother and show him that tape whether you like it or not."

###

"So what did Dr. Meherin have to say?" Eddie asked softly as she and Jamie were standing in the apartment's small kitchen while preparing a late breakfast of eggs and toast for Kaylin who had just woken up. He had returned home about thirty minutes ago and had barely spoken two words since. She could tell by the look on his face that things had not gone as he had hoped, and the fact that he had come back here all clammed up instead of going to work as he had planned spoke volumes all on its own.

Jamie knew he wasn't going to get out of the house without talking to her, but frankly he was done with being interrogated for the day so figured he would play things off with the best spin he could put on it before throwing on a pair of sneakers and going for a run to get away from everything and everyone… hell, he didn't even care if he was just getting over being sick as a dog and had to stop and puke in every trash can between here and the East River on his usual route through the Flatiron District. He just needed an escape and Eddie was feeling better today so there was no reason he couldn't take a few hours for himself and get out of this damn messy apartment while she was here with Kaylin.

"Oh, um, she said I need to find a positive outlet for stress," he hedged somewhat truthfully. "Told me I needed to take a few days and get things back together. So I'm going out for a run if that's okay with you," he admitted as he pulled a single piece of dry toast onto a plate for himself and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge.

"That's it? She told you to go for a jog?" Eddie asked in disbelief. She wasn't buying this for a second. No department shrink was going to keep an officer off duty if that was all there was to it and anyone without a psych degree could see that Jamie was struggling. "Does she know you just got over being sick?"

"Yeah, honestly," he fluffed as he took Kaylin's plate of scrambled eggs and a cup of juice over to the table and set it down for her. "I uh, ended up with a headache when we were talking and she said that's my body's way of telling me it needs a release so I'm gonna take a couple more days and see where we're at on Monday. Is that alright with you, Janko?" he challenged subtly.

"I guess," she continued in puzzlement. "Maybe we can take a ride over and look at the house this weekend then if you're not busy so we can figure out where to start," Eddie offered, but she still wasn't fooled. "You really talked to her this morning, right?"

"Of course, lambchop," Jamie deflected, but he still wasn't meeting her eyes. "Stayed for the whole appointment... where else do you think I was?" he asked as he took a single small bite out of his toast before putting it back down on the plate. "Told her all about being sick, the wedding and Kaylin here… she said it's just a lot to have happening all at once and something about adrenal depletion and uh, to make sure I took some vitamins and got some rest."

"Dr. Meherin, the department shrink, told you to take vitamins... you?" Eddie said with a frown. Now she definitely knew he was being deceptive and instantly worried that he was keeping something far more serious from her.

 _"Yes,"_ he said with an edge as he looked up and met her with a cold stare. There it was, she had pushed him too far once more. Damn it. "I told you that. Now are you alright to watch Kaylin for a couple more hours or should I take her with me in the jogging stroller?"

"No, I'm fine. I feel much better today, Jamie. She can stay," Eddie answered before he left the room without another word and came back a few minutes later wearing his typical understated running gear of a plain blue t-shirt and shorts along with an old iPod and earbuds.

"I'll be taking my usual route," he offered as he grabbed a fresh water out of the refrigerator but left the rest of his uneaten toast on the sink, his phone purposefully lying on the counter next to it. "Might be longer than normal though, I'll probably have to walk a bit," he offered before turning to brush her lips and kiss the top of Kaylin's head on the way out. "See ya later."

"Jamie, please be careful," she muttered as she watched the door close behind him. "I wonder what it is you're really running away from," she sighed before going back to the table to make sure their little girl finished her breakfast.

"GODDAMNIT, FINALLY!" the blue eyes smoldered as they caught sight of their prey exiting the front of the apartment building and starting off at a slow jog after a quick check of his watch. With the riff from the classic collaboration of Queen and David Bowie's "Under Pressure" blasting in his ears from Joe's cherished song collection preserved on the iPod he'd discovered in a box of his brother's old things, Jamie had no idea he'd picked up a shadow once more as a dark car proceeded to follow him down the street with evil intentions.

 _"Pressure... pushing down on me…"_ Jamie started to hum as he turned the corner and disappeared from Eddie's view as she watched from above.

* * *

 _So poor Jamie has a bit more to worry about than he realizes as Quinlan gets him in his sights while Danny and Baez look for an answer in the camera footage from the 3-5. Will they figure it out in time to warn him or will Jared get what he's looking for first?_


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

"C'mon, c'mon… where are you hiding you son of a bitch?" Danny fidgeted as he and Baez sat in front of an array of monitors at the TARU headquarters, all simultaneously running feeds from various camera positioned around the 3-5 precinct on that fateful Monday. Thus far they had followed Jamie to the closest degree possible from various angles as he arrived in his car before he entered the building, headed into the locker room and then proceeded through his pre-roll call ritual in his office. It wasn't hard to see that he was struggling that morning, taking moments to rest up against walls and putting his head down on his desk for a few minutes. They observed as he entered the muster room, standing at the podium for only a short time before relinquishing his spot and heading back to the lockers. Lieutenant Carson soon appeared walking down the hall before entering the changing area himself. Danny was watching intently when Jamie's CO reappeared in the hallway after a few minutes and walked towards the front doors of the precinct only to hesitate, look back and then return just as Jamie himself was leaving. The pair had words for a moment and Carson was waving his hands and pointing towards the door.

"That's when he decided to send him home," Danny muttered as they followed through the rest as Jamie conceded to his superior's orders with a dropped head and a shrug of the shoulders and the pair went back in and redressed before going their separate ways again as Carson turned to go past the desk to head for the motor pool lot and Jamie clocked out and left through the front doors before driving off in the Mustang. "Neither one went to the front and updated the car assignment," he mused as he thought back to the utter terror and heartache that had caused for the Reagan family just a few hours later. "Jamie probably assumed Carson would do it since he passed by that way."

"There's nothing there, Danny," Maria shrugged. "We'll have to have the techs go back through previous shifts. I mean Jamie didn't run into anyone the entire time except for Carson and the other officers in his platoon, and he and Officer Rodgers barely spoke, only those few seconds after he walked away from the podium."

"Maybe we're watching the wrong person," Danny reasoned. "It had to happen that morning. I checked the duty logs and in spite of Jamie pulling all of those extra shifts, he didn't cross paths with Rodgers any other time recently… Martin was out on vacation himself all those days. Monday was his first day back in more than a week. Let's zero in on the rookie and follow him out when he goes to the car," he directed to the TARU tech. It wasn't but a few minutes later that they saw what they were looking for as there was a distant shot of Rodgers being approached on the street midway between the building and the motor pool lot. "There!" Danny hissed. "That's our skell. He stopped to talk to Rodgers… why the hell would he tell us that he didn't know who the guy was or that he knew Jamie?"

"He said he saw the guy, Reagan," Maria corrected, "but he didn't know him. Still could be true."

"So what's the link to Jamie? He was asking about him maybe?" he wondered as his mind focused on one track. "Can we clean up that image?"

"Sorry, detective," the tech apologized. "That's the best resolution we've got, there's an old camera on that post due to be replaced whenever the budget comes through. No way to get facial recognition from that far away. We can barely tell it's a person."

"Shit," Danny cursed. "This guy must have a knack for finding bad camera angles. No one's that lucky all the time. Wait! He's walking back to a car. What the hell is that? An old Ford? Please tell me we can get a plate!"

"Could be a mid-80s Merc Flatty," Maria guessed. "What? Girls can know cars!" she griped as Danny and the tech stared back at her dumbfounded. "Okay, I dated a guy that had a two-door Mercury with heavy tints on the windows like that. Great makeout car. Geez."

"Plate comes back stolen six months ago from a 1990 Taurus, registered upstate," the tech informed them with a small smirk and a shake of the head as he refocused and searched through other angles that captured the car's approach. "Nothing there. I've put a BOLO out on it in case he stuck around," he added as his fingers flew over the keyboard while they watched as Carson joined Rodgers at the car and followed along as the Mercury tailed them as they left the precinct.

"I still don't get the link to my brother," Danny sighed while shaking his head and running his hand over the back of his neck although he had the nagging feeling that something obvious was staring straight back at him as he looked at the time stamp. That car seemed so… familiar, but he just couldn't pin it down. "Jamie's walking out of the front of the building and yet he's following the RMP… tails the two of them until they wind up parking somewhere with easy access and then walks up and shoots Carson as the first target, we'll assume Rodgers was next so he doesn't leave an armed witness and Martin tells us Jamie knows this guy..."

Their thoughts were all interrupted by an alert on the tech's screen. "BAM!" the young man said with excitement. "A mobile scanner with automatic number plate recognition just uploaded a hit to that car from an hour ago. Unit was put out on a call immediately after and never followed up to double check on the registration, though."

"Damn, I love this technology!" Danny gloated over the apparent victory. "At least we have something to go on now. Where is this bastard?" he demanded before his face began to simultaneously fall in disbelief as his brain suddenly focused and snapped on the image of the car and just where he had spotted one exactly like that the day before. "Oh Christ," he breathed in that split instant before the tech confirmed his worst fear.

"385 Grand Street near the East Village."

"Danny, isn't that…" Maria gasped as her partner began fumbling frantically in his pocket to pull out his phone.

"On the same block as Jamie's apartment building," he mumbled in shock as his fingers flew to speed dial his brother. "I saw it there down the street from where he usually parks his Mustang yesterday afternoon… walked right past the damn thing when I went up to check Eddie! He's been sitting on him… Oh, God! That's what Rodgers was trying to tell me! Jamie's been the target all along!" he choked out. "Pick up!" he demanded as he listened to the phone ring on the other end. "DAMN IT, KID! PICK UP NOW!" he thundered as everyone in the near vicinity stopped what they were doing to look at him.

"Hello?" a soft voice answered. "Danny is that you?" Eddie questioned as she had noticed Jamie's phone buzzing while she was cleaning up in the kitchen. She frowned when she realized he had left it there and normally would have let it ring through to voicemail, but knowing that his brother was working the shooting case, she picked up when she saw the ID hoping there had been a break. "Is there something wrong?"

"Eddie," Danny fought to keep his voice even as he allowed himself a breath with the knowledge that Jamie must be safe in his home at the moment since his phone was there and he didn't want to alarm her unnecessarily, but in spite of his best effort the strain was obvious. "I need to speak to my brother, can you go get him please."

"Jamie's not here right now," she replied with a growing frown, sensing the tension in his voice. "He came back from an early appointment with Dr. Meherin this morning and decided to go out for a run to clear his head. I guess he forgot his phone on the counter here because he picked up that old iPod he takes with him sometimes. He left about forty-five minutes ago. Danny, what's going on?" it was Eddie's turn to demand in kind.

"I'll explain in a minute. Just do one thing for me first, _please,"_ Danny begged even as he was waving to his partner to move and the two of them were already headed towards the front lobby of TARU headquarters. "Go look out of the window in Kaylin's room and let me know if you see an old dark two-door 80's model Mercury on the street down by where Jamie usually parks," he asked as he broke out into a jog while Maria followed him through the doors and towards their car.

"No there's nothing like that!" she exclaimed after she ran in there and pulled back the curtains to scan the street. "NOW TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON, DANNY!" she yelled as she was sure by his tone now that something was terribly wrong and she frightened Kaylin causing the little girl to scurry from where she had been playing with some toys to rush out and jump on the couch in the living room clutching a pillow with wide eyes. She wasn't used to seeing her Eddie bear so upset all the time, and what happened at the hospital had been scary for the impressionable toddler.

"Eddie we found some video that indicates a car like that might have been involved in the shooting the other day," Danny explained as jumped in the driver's seat while he flipped over to the hands-free speaker and gunned the engine of his own vehicle as Baez hit the lights and began making her own orders to the rest of the task force while calling in support from the passenger seat. There was no way he had intended to share their thoughts on Jamie's status as the target, not with Eddie injured and alone with Kaylin in the apartment, but she was a savvy cop after all and it wouldn't take much for her to put the pieces together. "I think I saw it on the street last night when I came to visit you and a plate reader hit on it in the same area about an hour ago. I want you to stay in the apartment and keep the door locked. Don't open it for anyone you don't know. Maria is sending a squad right now to sit out front."

"But Jamie is…"

"Jamie is out running," Danny stated. "Yeah you said that... now what is he wearing? I'll put units in the area to pick him up. Do you know what route he was planning to take?" he asked frantically as he was weaving through mid-morning traffic as fast as he dared to go, all the while cursing his brother for leaving his phone at home today of all days.

"Just a plain dark blue t-shirt and shorts," Eddie answered in a budding panic as she tried to think. "He said… he said that he was going to take his usual route past Union Square up through the Flatiron Plaza and out to the East River and back along 26th, but it might take him longer since he's just getting over being sick and might have to walk. Danny, he was so upset after his meeting with the doctor this morning… there's no way he's going to be looking around keeping an eye out for anything! Do you think this guy is after him?! Why was he here watching our building?!"

"We don't know anything for sure," Danny tried to reassure as he hung a hard right and slid the rear end of the car around. "I'll explain when I get there. Right now we're about five minutes out from the plaza. I promise I'm gonna find him and then we'll come back and talk, okay?"

Eddie was still standing in the apartment, left mute and reeling from the revelations of the last two minutes when unbeknownst to her, Maria Baez turned to face Danny in the car with a horrified expression on her face as she held her phone up to her ear and signaled with a gesture across her face for him to cut the call. Danny was so struck by the starkness of her look that he immediately pulled the vehicle over to the side of the street as fear sliced through his heart.

"Uh, Eddie… don't worry now," he managed to stutter out as he stared flatly back at his partner. "I've gotta go so I can pay attention to what I'm doing but I will call you back on this line the minute I know anything, alright? Just hang tight for a few minutes," he added as he abruptly hung up.

"What?" he mouthed with a tight throat.

"There was a 10-10 called in eight minutes ago outside of Madison Square Park. Shots fired," she explained grimly. "That's on the route Eddie told us. Danny, there's one victim reported down. Two close range to the chest… he… he matches the description of what she said Jamie was wearing. Jogger with blue t-shirt and running shorts with an iPod… no ID. Medium height white male stepped out of an older model dark car and fired as he was running past," she paused and put a hand on his arm that was visibly shaking now. "Danny let me drive, alright?" she added softly. "We're only a few minutes out," she said as a fully engaged RMP shot past them on the way to the scene, its siren leaving a ghostly echo behind. "We've got to go over there, but I'm gonna drive, okay partner? I've got you," she assured.

"This is not happening," he replied numbly as he stared forward blankly in shock but allowed her to pull him out of the driver's seat once she had run around the front of the car. "Maria, please tell me this is not happening!" he pleaded in a mumble as she unceremoniously stuffed him in the back seat, unsure that she would be able to physically wrestle him to the other side of the car in the state his was in. "I should have seen it sooner…" he trailed off. "He can never watch out for himself when he's like this… we were all thinking this was random. Three days… we had three days… THREE EFFING DAYS! WHY DIDN'T I SEE IT SOONER?!"

"Stay with me Danny, we don't know anything yet," she answered as she jerked the car's gear into drive and pulled out into traffic to a chorus of horns as she cut the distance short. "Until we know, we don't know," she babbled somewhat as her eyes were locked on the road and she skillfully wove the car through traffic, an artistry for which she rarely received credit as Danny had always tended to keep a tight grip on the car keys in their partnership.

"Where did you say?..." he sputtered.

"West side of Madison Square Park, behind Flatiron," she explained again as she turned down the final street, a slew of flashing red and blue lights already sequestered ahead… knowing that none of what she was saying was actually hitting home with him right now. If something had happened to Jamie like this on Danny's watch he would never be the same again, of that she was sure. Frank Reagan would end up losing all three of his sons, one way or another. "There," she said as she spotted the police tape already ringing the area and pulled up as close to the scene as possible.

"Danny, stay in the car," she advised as she grabbed her phone once more and readied her badge. "I'll go see," she choked out, willing to face this for him alone although she knew it was futile to expect that he would listen. Indeed, he had already ignored her plea and forced his heavy legs out of the back door with his eyes locked on the yellow tarp with the now insignificant lump lying on the ground just off the path that circled the perimeter of the park.

"No, he's my brother… can't leave him there alone… gotta check," he muttered as he stumbled forward and paused only long enough to angrily rip down the first line of tape in his way without bothering to duck under it. That caught the attention of Sal Rigotti, a first-grade detective out of the 10th who was not a member of the Daniel Reagan personal fan club and hurried over with a huge chip on his shoulder to defend his turf.

"Reagan! What the hell!" he bristled as he tried to block Danny's way. "This is my case! You got no right to be here!"

"You ID the vic yet?" Maria demanded as she physically got between the two since it looked like Danny was about to do to Rigotti what he had just done to the tape.

"Nah!" the older detective in the seedy-looking brown twilled suit barked back in her face as he continued to cut off their path. "Nothing on him besides a bottle of water and one of those damn old music players. Guy never saw it coming. I just got on scene three minutes ago. Now what the eff do you think you're doing here?" he snarled. "Always trying to steal the thunder, aren't you Danny boy? Goddamn think you can walk in anywhere with your daddy's blessing. This is my case! You ain't getting one step closer or I'll file a report with Lieutenant Carver!"

"Hey go take a piss on a different hydrant for a minute," Maria responded crassly as she pushed the older man to the side and allowed Danny through. "And keep your men back. We think this is related to the two officers shot on Wilshire the other day so I'm taking lead now for the task force. You don't like it?" she challenged. "Go give Ghormley a call at 1PP. You got him on speed dial? 'CAUSE I DO! Now get out of here!" she snarked before looking over to see her partner approach the body and drop heavily to his knees. "Danny," she called. "Don't! Wait for me!"

Daniel Reagan hesitated for two seconds with his hand on the corner of that tarp, and in that time while he prayed for strength as Frank had recently done, images from Jamie's entire childhood flashed in front of him… the very first meeting between the two at the hospital that morning when he saw his tiny little brother bundled up in his mother's arms while the fierce feeling of a protector had washed over him as her proud smile was shining through… that goofy grin popping up at almost every occasion, even when the rest of him had just done something stupid like take yet another tumble down the steps, followed by an immediate "I'm fine!" for reassurances while everyone else around him had a near heart attack… the shocked look on the kid's face that night when Joe brought him through those swinging hospital doors after retrieving him from Boston and their father having to pull him to the side and crush his soul with the terrible news that their mother had already all but left this world without another word to him for all intents and purposes.

"Damn it, please be fine," Danny muttered as he pulled the cover back and stared down blankly for a few moments at the young man's still body before him. "Oh God, Harvard…" he gasped finally as he reeled back a bit. "Now what the hell am I gonna do with you?" he cried as all of the remaining air in his body froze in place and his stunned eyes looked up and met Baez's equally blank look as she stood over him as the phone began to ring in his pocket. "WHY? Why'd that bastard have to do _this?_ What's he want with us? I don't understand!"

"Danny," Maria breathed with a moment's hesitation while she tried to gather her senses and be strong for her partner as she put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. "We'll figure it out and nail the son of a bitch, I promise. We need to call Eddie… she has to know what's happened before she sees him. This is gonna be all over the news."

* * *

 _So did Quinlan win and get ahead of them? Next up we follow along on Jamie's run to see exactly what happened as Jared's own off and on luck turns when he slips up and leaves an important clue behind, and the focus in the following chapters will soon shift to Kaylin's safety as certain realizations are made while Eddie and Danny have cause to grow closer to one another._


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

 _Pressure... pushing down on me…_

As he had feared, Jamie's body had begun to rebel against his efforts for physical exertion almost from the very minute he'd stepped out the front doors of the apartment building, checked his watch and headed north towards Union Square Park and the Flatiron district where he liked to hang a right onto 26th and follow that all the way down before a turnaround at the East River sent him back home the same way. He had crafted that route with a perfect balance of distance and up and downgrades to be challenging yet mindless when he needed a run that was just enough to clear his head before or after a tour, not as if it were particularly critical to consider that point any time soon it seemed, given Amazing Grace's insistence that he was grounded on what had to be daddy's orders for the foreseeable future.

That thought and the anger behind it kept his running shoes pounding away on the sidewalk in spite of the clear overall fatigue he was feeling from the illness, lack of decent sleep and food, stress, and whatever else anyone wanted to throw into the pot. Still, he persevered and swallowed the sour taste in his mouth as he notched up the volume on Joe's iPod as Queen and Bowie's classic "Under Pressure" reverberated through his brain on repeat and he paid no heed to the interested company that continued to follow him carefully.

 _Imagine that… pressure splitting a family in two, hmm… while putting people on streets..._

 _God that was rich,_ he thought as he kept up his unreasonable pace while dodging the occasional window shoppers strolling along in his path. The area was relatively quiet for a Thursday morning, but he still had to keep his wits about him and remember to watch for cars as he crossed the intersections... just as he had been doing all by himself since he was like what? Five? It's not as if he had a death wish or anything despite good old Dr. Meherin's assertions otherwise. "Trauma-related guilt may lead to thoughts of suicide," he muttered out loud to himself. No, really? But perhaps there was something to that family thing though considering the increasing distance he could see between Linda and Danny lately since she'd had her own trauma with the shooting last year. "Maybe she should have gone to see Grace to get shrink-wrapped instead, too bad Dad didn't set that up for her too… guess I'm _special,"_ he spat as he turned a hard right down 17th towards Fifth Avenue and skipped over a hose lying dangerously across the sidewalk. "Only the best for our poor Jamison..."

 _Kicking my brains round the floor… no rain but it pours..._

"Yeah, brains round the floor, good one," he griped out loud in a huff as he started up the one significant long uphill grade in this direction that made his legs burn. He knew that Carson and Rodgers had each been hit with a round from a .357 Magnum at close range and shuddered at the thought of what that scene must have looked like for the first unit that rolled up. His own Glock had done sufficient damage to both Gavin Bryant with the center mass three-peat and John Johanssen with a single to the forehead from about ten yards out when he'd closed one eye and squeezed that trigger so deliberately. "Never rains but it pours," he hummed along as his breath came harder now and his vision swam a little as he blinked heavily and was forced to pull up to a walk for a few steps before making a dreaded public deposit into a nearby trash receptacle. He glanced up after his body was finished heaving and glared back at the curious passers-by that stopped to make a few snide comments to him before he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and snagged a quick mouth rinse and drink out of the water bottle he was carrying before defiantly taking off at a jog again just as a dark car pulled up to the curb behind him.

"DAMN IT!" came the annoyed curse from Jared Quinlan's lips as he took the newer black SIG Sauer 9mm he'd lifted from a friend's house upstate on a whim before his trip to the Big Apple and shoved it back down on the side of the seat. This goddamn Reagan was faster and more skittish than a freaking deer so Jared knew he'd never stand a chance to catch up with him from behind on foot after all those years he'd spent abusing his lungs with heavy smoking. "I gotta get in front of him," he decided. "As soon as he turns around to head towards home I'll find a place to get set up and just pop him as he runs by the car," he grinned as anger flashed over his blue eyes once more. "You're never gonna know what hit you."

 _Good friends gone away…_

 _How many now?_ Jamie mused. Joe had been the absolute best, there was no denying that. His older brother knew his thoughts before they even occurred to him… could sure use some of that right now, he thought sadly as he ignored the tightening in his hamstrings. Sydney didn't even register as a friend anymore, maybe she never was in the first place. Eddie was the closest to that presently of course in a very different way, but she just didn't understand all the history behind what was going on in his heart right now, hell... he didn't even quite know what to make of it. Vinny… hated the guy at first but they grew tight and he would have understood to a point… Vin was a momma's boy too and lied to her about not taking night tours so she wouldn't worry. It was a bright sunny Sunday afternoon when he died though… Renzulli. Sarge… the man knew him like a book but had been so quick to do his father's bidding and shelter him just like everyone else… not sure that relationship would ever be the same again. Looks like it'll just be Gracie and me on this, he sighed and picked up the pace again on a downhill stretch.

 _Love that's torn… Why why why?..._

 _Why does this kind of crap keep happening to people around me?_ he wondered. First it was Mom with that damn cancer everyone tried so hard to shield him from. What exactly had they expected would happen in the end… that he would be so shallow and wrapped up in his shiny new lawyer career that he wouldn't notice Mary was missing at Sunday dinner? They had no right to take that time away, to treat him that way… like a robin's egg everyone was afraid to touch. Mom had no right… Then there was Joe, Vinny and even that Grady Bayless guy that hung himself in his cell at Rikers after the jewelry store stakeout that first time… his first time on a special assignment with Eddie. "Aren't I worth it, lambchop?" she had asked with that undeniable tone of hers when they were looking at that case of high-end watches. "Maybe that replica," he'd replied cheekily. That was it, the start of their lives together. _Lambchop._ God, he loved when she called him that… had it been so long already? The rest of that conversation played on fast forward in his head despite the competition from the repeating guitar riff.

 _Love, love, love, love..._

"Who are you?" Grady had asked. "I'm just a guy," he'd replied.

"This your girlfriend?" Bayless had continued.

"Yeah," that answer had rolled off his tongue so easily, even back on those first days. He'd known from the very moment when Eddie had met him at the car outside the precinct the first night that she was special but had been too much of a… what was it that Danny called him? Oh yeah... tight-assed over-responsible child to do anything about it. Gee, big brother… wonder who made me that way?

"She looks nice…" Grady had laughed. What an understatement… Eddie had been utterly drop dead gorgeous that day. "So you probably want to stay away from me, pal. I might be contagious."

"With what?"

"Bad luck."

 _Now there's a concept,_ Jamie contemplated as he approached the East River and his eventual turning point. Halfway through the run and he was still on his feet no matter how shaky they were, damn it… he'd show them all who was too fragile and weak. No one else in the family would have ever made it this far except maybe Joe or Erin on a good day, those long legs of hers had always served her well when it came to athletics. Danny would have been sucking wind long ago. But back to the problem at hand…. maybe Bayless had things figured out after all. He'd have to try that line about being contagious with bad luck on sweet Gracie in their next session on Monday and see what part of her popped first. Hey, that might even be fun.

The running commentary from Grady's arrest continued in spurts and stops while Jamie began losing focus as his body began to shut itself off piece by piece while he continued to press it on without mercy… the physical pain crowding out the terrible feelings that had been poisoning his heart.

"My boyfriend's a lawyer," Eddie had played it off. Couple weeks on the job together and she'd already know enough about him to use that against someone else, how ironic. "Listen to him before this gets any worse." Bayless had listened… listened to him as a lawyer not as a cop. As soon as he found out that Jamie was a cop everything had gone to hell and the poor guy's neck had gone into a noose. Maybe that was another choice point to bring up in his next session… people around him were generally happier and less dead when he was a lawyer. _Wonder how fast that will get back to dad,_ he wondered as the internal dialogue rolled on… then again that's what the family had wanted anyway, right? Enough to take it upon themselves sacrifice irreplaceable things… the time with Mom he deserved and that no one could retrieve with a letter and a stupid recording that was lost like everything else when Danny's phone got fried after he accidentally dropped in a puddle at the funeral the next week, although that still left Joe out there in the dark with her. Scratch that notion, they both died during my legal eagle years, Jamie frowned as he tossed his now-empty water bottle in a passing recycle bin… gotta take care of the planet...

"And I'm screwed. You don't have to tell me." Grady was nothing if not prophetic, and Jamie suddenly understood the man completely. "You had me for a second. I thought you actually gave a damn."

"I do... otherwise you'd be dead." Jamie had replied. Score one for him on that point or there would have been another big red flag and another line on that paper in his psych folder right in between the ones for Vinny and John Johanssen. "He's just a regular guy that snapped," he'd told his sister when she asked him what his stake was. "I mean, throwing him into the system is not an answer unless the question is: What can we do to make a bad situation worse?" How many guys just like him had he put away over the years?

 _Insanity laughs... under pressure we're all cracking up… Gotta give that love a chance..._

 _Love does dare you to care and change your ways…_ he agreed. Despite all the dark thoughts that had permeated his run thus far, Jamie was actually starting to feel better about things as he began to order and realign his thoughts with the fact that even after all this it was possible to give himself a chance to move forward and care about what happened... That he did have Eddie and Kaylin to love now and a great many things to look forward to after he'd hit the runner's high a little sooner than normal given the pace he was pushing himself at and happy endorphins began coursing through his brain to his great relief… A brain that did not notice as an unfamiliar black car suddenly pulled ahead of him on the roadway to the right, zigging past an old delivery truck parked somewhat haphazardly on the side of the road the next block up and followed by a sharp left turn ahead to proceed down the street that bordered the far side of Madison Square Park… the street next to the path Jamie would follow to return home through the Flatiron Plaza.

Jared Quinlan was smiling though as he pulled his car up to the curb and looked in his rear-view mirror, anticipating that Jamie would be turning the corner and coming up behind him on the running path in just a few minutes. He took off his crappy second-hand glasses and began wiping them with a handkerchief to clean the fingered up lenses but jumped with nerves when an RMP passed by on the street and hit the lights and siren as it sped away to another call. He cursed as he dropped the heavy spectacles down next to the driver's side door only to pull them back out with one of the lenses missing. "Shit!" he swore again as his hand fumbled on the floorboard looking for the missing glass piece before putting the damaged eye wear on anyway and glancing through the mirror as he squinted with one eye to see if his quarry in the blue shirt had turned down the path yet… should be any minute now at the pace that goddamn Reagan was keeping. "Doesn't that guy ever get tired?" he griped as he forgot about everything else and grabbed the waiting gun instead, clicking off the safety as his hand began shaking a bit in anticipation and he readied himself to step out of the car. This part of it was going to be over so soon...

 _This is our last dance… this is our last dance… under pressure… duh, duh, dum, pressure..._

Unaware of what was waiting for him just up ahead, Jamie crossed the last intersection before the rear park entrance and stepped onto the jogging path as the song came to an end once again for what was likely the tenth time on this run and was queued to start all over. He continued down the straightaway with his mind now focused on how he intended to proceed with the dilemma swirling around Lieutenant Carson's funeral before a sudden short series of loud ear-splitting noises to the immediate right of him near the street shook Jamie just as an intense stabbing pain struck under the lower edge of his ribcage and seared through his side… bringing him down hard to his knees on the edge of the running path and leaving him gasping for breath that would not immediately come.

Despite all efforts, Jamison Reagan sank the rest of the way to the ground as he did not know what had hit him.

* * *

 _Yup, gonna leave it that way for today again, sorry! I know these chapters have been brutal, but I warned everyone in the beginning that this story got kinda darker than I anticipated at times… you've just gotta roll with it as these things kind of direct themselves while I go along. Next, arrangements are made to bring Jamie home and Danny arrives to speak to Eddie as promised as the hunt for Quinlan intensifies._


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"Oh… holy… Mary… mother… of… _mercy..."_ Jamie gasped before finishing that thought as he fought to roll over to his back while the granddaddy of all effing loving side stickers gripped his chest tightly without pity and every other available over-taxed muscle in his body took the sudden loud signal of the truck engine's distress as a sign to contract immediately in agonizing fashion. Both of his calves cramped into solid pain-ridden knots while his knees and elbow bled profusely with ugly deep brush burns and trailing cuts from their abrupt unplanned contact with the rough surface of the asphalt running path near the secluded back entrance of the park. What was it he had said to Dr. Meherin that first time about not having PTSD because he didn't jump when a door slammed? Maybe she had another point there, he conceded ruefully as he stared up at the blue sky littered with softly waving tree branches and wondered just how he was going to get himself out of this mess.

"Sir! Hey buddy, hey you okay?!" the older delivery driver who had been standing at the front of the truck with the engine compartment propped open called out as he ran over. "Oh, sweet Jesus, look at you! I'm sorry I scared you like that, son! Damn engine is backfiring and I can't get it to stop no matter what I've tried. Been sitting here like this for ten minutes. Can I help you up? Do you need a bus?"

"No… no bus," Jamie sputtered as he gingerly reached over to a nearby park bench he had fallen next to and pulled himself into a half sitting position while keeping his right arm wrapped tightly around his ribs as he continued to try to breathe through the pain… his hand still clutching the precious old iPod he'd managed to keep safe during the fall no matter the cost in scraped off skin. "You a cop?" he huffed loudly over the raucous sound of the still-running truck as he remained leaning on his elbow, squinted and tried to bring the concerned man's face into focus. "You called it a bus," he explained blowing out a small breath.

"No, ha, that's funny. I've got a kid in the police academy right now though; it's all she talks about. Guess some of the lingo is wearing off on me. Are you sure I can't get someone here to help you? You don't look so good, buddy. You bang your head too? That eye looks nasty."

"Not the first time I heard that this week," Jamie grimaced as he panted a little while he sat straighter to push himself up further and lean back as the pain in his ribs subsided slightly and he was able to draw some deeper breaths. "I'll be okay… I think I just overdid it on my run. I had the flu or something this week and I'm cramping up."

"Water… you drinking enough fluids, bud?" the older man yelled a little over the continued noise of the hiccupping motor. "I coached college ball for twenty years... just working this job part time to keep busy and pay for odds and ends. You've got yourself dehydrated… can't fool with that. Let me get you some Gatorade off the truck. Think I got a first aid kit for those knees too. Oh, and sorry about the noise. I'm afraid if I turn her off I'll never get'er started again. Name's Bill Anderson by the way."

"Thanks," Jamie replied loudly as he accepted the cold drink from his newfound guardian angel upon his return from the vehicle as it continued to run rough and pop off a few more loud retorts, drowning out all other noise from the surrounding streets. "Sounds like you've got water in the fuel line or you need to check the carburettor valves," he called out. "They get sticky with grease sometimes and don't close properly. You can fix it with some additives temporarily but you'll need to rebuild the valve heads to get it working right again."

"You a mechanic?" Bill asked as he handed over some gauze and alcohol wipes from his kit to help staunch the bleeding and clean the cuts.

"No, I just know cars and engines. I'm a cop. Jamie… Jamie Reagan," he said as he winced while dabbing at his knees with the strong solution and trying to pick out the most egregious bits of gravel. A certain blond someone at home was going to have a clear fit when she saw this that was for sure. It had certainly been a rough week for the both of them and prospects weren't looking much brighter with Lieutenant Carson's funeral scheduled for the next day. Eddie was insisting she would be fine to attend while Jamie still had reservations about what he should do with regard to the widow. He had reached out to Carson's brother earlier today to ask what the best course of action would be, although given his current state it was perhaps better if he stayed away.

"A cop? Really? Reagan… like the Police Commissioner, Frank Reagan?"

"Yeah, something like that. He's my dad," Jamie admitted with small reserve as he took another long swig of the sports drink. He was already starting to feel better as the much-needed electrolytes and fluids began to hit his system. There was no way he was going to be able to finish his run though or even walk home looking like this for that matter and he truly regretted the fact that he'd purposefully left his phone on the counter now. "I'm a sergeant out of the 3-5."

"No kidding. Real shame about those two officers that got shot the other day, was sorry to hear the news. My daughter's always wanted to serve, but it scares the life out of the missus and me when we see things like that... she follows all your father's press conferences like some kind of groupie though. Wait 'til she finds out I was talking to you. Hey?" Bill added with a frown. "You still don't look too good and your knees haven't quit bleeding yet. You need a lift home? Can I call someone? I can't in good conscience leave you out here on the street like this… if Annabel hears I did that, and she screws something up and doesn't graduate... she's gonna think it's because her old man nearly killed off the Commish's kid. Sound's like the motor's evened out for now… can't promise we'll get there though," he laughed as he reached down and helped Jamie gingerly to his feet. "Where do you need to go?"

Jamie considered the fact that Eddie was still at home nursing a fairly serious concussion and had not yet been cleared to drive before he decided to accept Bill's offer of a ride back to the apartment. "300 block of Grand Street near the East Village," he answered as he tested things out and hobbled a few steps. "But I can flag down an RMP and catch a lift if that puts you out," he added as they looked up while a pair of squad cars raced down the street towards the opposite side of the park with lights and sirens blazing.

"Looks like they're all kinda busy with something right now," Bill observed. "C'mon, I owe you for the advice on the truck. It's the least I can do after knocking you down like that. Let's get you home in one piece more or less. I sure hope if you have one that your missus doesn't get too upset when she sees you like this."

###

"Reagan!" Officer Kara Walsh gasped as she quickly radioed both Wilson and Danny to let them know Jamie had been located before exiting the RMP parked outside of the apartment and rushing over when she saw him being carefully helped out of the passenger side of the delivery truck. "Where've you been, and… uh, _exactly_ what happened to you?!"

"Aw, it's nothing. Just took a little tumble on my run." Jamie deflected as he turned back around to his good samaritan. "Hey, thanks again for the ride, Bill," he said as he reached out and shook the man's hand. "Remember to tell Annabel to watch out for Sergeant Riley's unannounced pop quizzes on procedure… every third Friday… they're grade killers if ya miss them. I'll be looking her up when the new academy class graduates."

"Glad to be of help and sorry again for what happened. I'll tell my Annie about the tests. You take care Jamie Reagan," Bill smiled before getting back in his old truck and starting off again with another loud backfire.

"That thing's never gonna make it back to Brooklyn," Jamie sighed as he turned and looked at Walsh and the cruiser sitting behind her quizzically. "What are you doing here, Kara?"

Walsh stuttered for a second as she realized that her old friend from his days at the 12th still had no clue as to what was going on, and she was on strict orders from a completely insistent and intimidating Detective Daniel Reagan not to reveal anything until Jamie was safely tucked away in his apartment under guard and his brother arrived to talk to him in person. "Oh, ah… Sergeant Wilson… Mark, he wanted to stop by and check on Eddie and see how she was doing and what she plans to do about… you know if he should pick her up for the funeral tomorrow so he told me to stay in the squad. There's a BOLO out for a car in this area so I'm keeping an eye out. I'm riding with Wilson while she's off." There, she had managed to come off sounding halfway convincing with enough of the truth so as not to get into trouble with either side.

"Oh, okay… makes sense," Jamie said as he slowly began to hobble to the front doors while Kara flashed a sharp look around the street to make sure there was no apparent immediate danger from the still unidentified shooter.

"Why don't we get you inside," she insisted as she shooshed him through the entranceway and into the relative safety of the building before following him into the elevator.

"What's with the armed escort?" he joked with her on the way up. "I thought you were supposed to stay in the car?"

"Yeah, well I'd rather take a rip from Wilson for disobeying orders than face Eddie if she found out I let you wander in here by yourself and pass out from blood loss in the hallway or anything," Walsh replied lightly but she was really not completely kidding. "You're a mess Reagan, I've seen slasher victims who look better than you."

"I'm fine," he said with a heavy sigh as they reached the fifth floor and the doors dinged open. "But, uh… since you're here… why don't you go ahead and sort of soften the blow for me? Please? I'll owe you our firstborn," he laughed. "But you're not getting Kaylin."

"Got one of my own already, and you know Brandon's been really working those terrible three's tantrums lately… a second would push me over the edge right now," Kara griped as she tried discretely to check the hallway first without him noticing, but conceded that things might go easier if Eddie had a heads up about what was about to walk in the front door given what the poor girl had already been through this week. "Give me a minute and I'll clear the field for you, but you _will_ owe me, Reagan and expect that I'll collect on that. Wait here." Jamie stayed down the hall leaning up against the wall and biding his time while she walked down to the apartment and knocked before waving him on after a brief conversation.

"Oh, Jamie!" Eddie cried with tears in her eyes as she launched herself and wrapped her arms around him as he cleared the doorway. "Thank God!" she sobbed as she grabbed his face and looked in his eyes to assure herself that it was actually him. She had been pacing frantically nonstop since the first and subsequent call had come in from Danny which explained the circumstances, and she gave thanks to above that Kaylin was in her room napping so she wouldn't be upset further by the sight of her father like this as the sensitive little girl had already been in tears earlier during her Eddie bear's anxiety-laden display.

"Easy, Ed," he looked back in puzzlement. "Hey, honey what are you crying about? It's only a little road rash. What's going on here, Mark?" he demanded as he glanced over at Wilson's concerned face. He certainly looked like there was more to this than a simple visit to check in and work out some carpooling plans. "What's happened?"

"Danny's on his way over to talk to you," Eddie answered for her partner who was loath to reveal too much given a particular Reagan's directions. "There's been uh, some developments in the case. Why didn't you have your phone, Jamie? We couldn't reach you! Where did all of this happen? Who brought you here?"

"I cramped up and fell on the jogging path in the back of Madison Square Park when I was coming towards home. Guess I pushed myself too hard," he answered as he continued to roam from face to face, unable to get a clean read on the situation and getting that nervous niggling feeling in his stomach once more. "There was a guy fixing his delivery truck on the side of the road there… he helped me out and gave me a lift back. Why?"

"So you just got in a stranger's van?!" Eddie asked with sudden disbelief as she pushed him away a little while Danny's assertion that his little brother couldn't read danger in this state came to the forefront. "Seriously?"

"Geez, I'm not two, and you're _not_ my mother!" Jamie flashed over with a show of uncharacteristic anger at her with company in the room. "I didn't have my phone, so I was gonna flag down an RMP, but there must have been some big response on the other side of the park. You couldn't drive anyway and I didn't have any cash on me to cab it. I was talking to the guy… he's got a daughter in the academy. I wish everyone would stop treating me like my precious eggshell's cracked!" he snapped as he walked off towards the bedroom. "I'm going to go take a shower and get cleaned up if that meets your approval!"

"I'm sorry," Eddie apologized in a soft whisper as she looked over at Wilson and Kara after he left the room without another word to them and she heard the bathroom door slam shut and the water turn on at full blast. "He's… he's just been under so much pressure with everything that's happened, and he hates more than anything to be babied. When he hears about that other jogger being shot and killed in the park… I think it's just gonna finish him," she fretted with fearful eyes, careful not to say anything loud enough to carry back into the bedroom. "God, when Danny gets here and tells him he was the target… he'll blame himself for that too. I don't even know what to say to him and I know his family's gonna come in and lock him up in a dark place after this," she worried. "I'm afraid he's already there, and that guy is still out on the loose… we don't even know who he is or what he wants, but he knows where we live!"

"Hey, he's in a tough spot, partner," Wilson said reassuringly as he kept his voice down. "Anyone can see that. That nameplate he wears puts a big target on his back… he might not even know this guy, could be some nut just looking to go after the Commissioner's kid. Danny and Baez will find him, you just need to make sure Jamie believes that. You're both gonna get through this though and don't hesitate to lean on your friends if you need to. We have your backs, all 35,000 of us... and call me anytime, got it Janko? I'm here for _you_ no matter what and don't forget it."

"Thanks, Mark," Eddie said with misty eyes and a tight smile. "Love you guys," she added as Kara came up for a hug.

"You take care girlie," her good friend whispered in her ear. "Don't you worry, we'll stay with you until Danny gets here and we'll be sitting right out front in the car for the rest of the shift if you need anything… remember I'm just a ring away, okay?"

Eddie nodded in relief and the three waited in silence for a few more minutes until a heavy hand could be heard knocking on the door and there was little doubt in any of their minds who that might be.

* * *

 _Confused? Don't worry, other people will be too. All I said last time were that arrangements were being made to bring Jamie home, I can't control where your mind wandered after that, lol. Suffice to say that Quinlan's bad eyesight came back to bite him once more and some other poor guy out for a nice late morning run took a couple of bullets just down the way from where Jamie bumped into the ground courtesy of a fortuitously cranky truck engine owned by Bill Anderson. Next, we get the scoop from Detective Daniel Fitzgerald Reagan himself, and he gets hit with some major attitude from an equally cranky younger sibling._


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Wilson and Walsh excused themselves to return to the squad car after a glance through the peephole confirmed that it was indeed the oldest Reagan brother and he stalked into the apartment as soon as they opened the door. A few words were all that were needed to explain what Jamie had told them about his adventurous morning and how he had come to return there.

"Where is he?" Danny demanded from Eddie with an atypical flustered look on his face the second the door closed behind them.

"He just went in the shower," Eddie answered. "I didn't say anything yet. He… he fell on his run… his knees are a bloody mess. Danny do you really think this guy was after Jamie and wound up shooting the wrong person again? None of this is making any sense!"

"Yeah, I checked with TARU on the way back over here. That black Mercury was following Jamie the whole time until just before he got to the park… then it pulled ahead and set up further down the next street to wait for him, but then we lost sight of him in the trees around the back… that must have been where he fell. From what the witnesses said, this other jogger just came running down the path minding his own business, God, Eddie… he was dressed nearly identical to what Jamie was wearing down to the white earphones he was listening to music with… same height, build, hair color. The shooter stepped out of the car and put two 9 mils through his chest without a word and drove away. Poor guy never saw it coming. We're still trying to ID him."

"What makes you think it's the same shooter if he used a 9mm this time?" came the cold inquiry as both Eddie and Danny jumped a little when they turned to see Jamie standing in the doorway holding a box of first aid supplies in his hand with a flat, unreadable expression on his face. "Or maybe you weren't planning on sharing any of this with me 'cause I ended up with a couple boo-boos and there's only so much poor Jamie can deal with at one time!" he snapped as he threw the bandages on the table. "By the way thanks, Ed, for joining ranks with the rest of them when it comes to hiding things from me to spare my feelings... you'll fit right in with my family. Now out with it, for God's sake!"

"Hey! Dial it back, Harvard!" Danny snapped back with equal vigor, the shock of having to walk up and pull that tarp back while fully expecting his little brother to be laying there had frayed his last nerve for the day. "I told her to wait until I got here. No one's hiding anything from you… everything just hit this morning and YOU would make my damn life easier for once if I could pick up the phone and get a hold of you instead of walking into hospitals and crime scenes expecting that you're already dead!" he spat. "TWICE this week, kid! Not ONCE but TWICE! And you wonder why everyone worries about you when you're like this! That black Mercury tailed you for five miles this morning and you never even bothered to notice! You weren't even looking for it!"

"The hell are you talking about?" Jamie demanded. "What black Mercury?" He listened incredulously while his brother filled him in on the details, everything from what Martin Rodgers had revealed during his short span of consciousness at the hospital, Danny and Baez's trip to TARU headquarters and the subsequent shooting of the other jogger on the adjacent side of the park. "I couldn't hear anything," he said in shock as he sank down heavily in the nearest chair. "The damn truck was too loud..." he trailed off. "Another one?" he choked as his stunned eyes met Eddie's and she could see the emotions welling back up to the top. "Carson and this other guy… all because of me? What? Is this effing guy blind? He can't get his act together and hit the right target for once?!"

"JAMIE!" Eddie gasped as she ran up to kneel beside him. "Don't you dare ever say anything like that again! This is some crazy nut job doing this! None of this is your fault!" she cajoled as she took his hands and started rubbing them to keep him attached to her and not lost in his own mind.

"I think it might be something like that actually," Danny advised as he toned his voice down now that he saw his brother going into the inevitable guilt cycle he was renowned for. "Baez is pulling some stills and bits of video from TARU to bring over to see if you can ID him, but given the fact that he walked up to Carson and shot him point blank..." Danny immediately regretted saying it like that as he watched Jamie flinch as if the bullet had just struck him personally. "I mean I don't think he even knew exactly who you were at first, that's why he stopped Rodgers to talk to him. The rook must have said you'd be out shortly expecting you were riding with him and that guy followed him and Carson out on the street. But he knows what you look like now… and where you live," he added seriously. "Dad wants you moved and under protection right away. All three of you."

"But this other guy… in the park," Jamie ignored that expected directive and started with a heavy sigh as he was still trying to process this... some poor schmuck just out running along enjoying his day and he gets whacked like that all because today he looks something like Jamison Reagan. He still couldn't believe this was all happening on top of everything else. "You said he followed me all that way, but still shot him? That doesn't make any sense…"

"I think we got our first break," Danny explained. "The CSI unit bagged a thick cracked lens from a cheap pair of glasses on the sidewalk where he stepped out of the car to fire… think coca-cola bottle. No usable prints but they're gonna run it for DNA. The guy's probably as blind as a bat without them. You're lucky he dropped them and couldn't see what he was doing."

"I'm lucky…" Jamie huffed sadly thinking back to his buddy Grady and the poor anonymous guy now being hosed off the street. "More like contagious…"

"What?!" Eddie demanded as she searched his eyes for an answer behind that somewhat familiar puzzle piece.

"Nothing," he said shaking his head and shrugging before getting up to check his phone as he disregarded the burrowing stares he knew were on him as he scrolled through the missed notifications, ignoring them all until he found what he was looking for. Lieutenant Carson's brother had responded to his inquiry regarding the funeral, stating apologetically that his sister-in-law was still under doctor's care and wondering if Jamie would instead be willing to come to a private viewing at the funeral home that afternoon when she wasn't there. _I'll be there at three-thirty,_ he confirmed with a text back. Nothing was going to stop him from paying his respects to one of his mentors, a man who had unknowingly given his life for him before the three of them were spirited away in the usual Reagan fashion… not this time.

"Gotta get cleaned up," he started again as he turned around, pushing away the whole of the previous conversation. "Promised Captain Carson I would come over to see the Lieutenant after three, and I need to get my dress blues out and ironed. Won't have my damn badge to put on them, though," he griped while silently cursing both Renzulli and his father a little more.

"Harvard, did you not just hear a word of what I said?" Danny stuttered in amazement at his little brother's sudden shift in course and apparent willingness to ignore him over something this urgent. "There's a whack-job out there looking for you with a gun, and he'll likely be back once he figures out he screwed up again! You're not doing anything but packing up some stuff here before I take you all over to Dad's house and we figure out where to put you until this is all over!"

"I've got to see Lieutenant Carson," Jamie insisted flatly as his hazel eyes flashed in defiance. "I'm not missing it… not _this_ time because you think you know better. I owe him!"

"You've got to see Lieutenant Carson," Danny mocked in a sing-song voice that reflected the same childish banter back and forth they had always shared. "Read my lips! NO WAY IN HELL JAMISON HENRY REAGAN!" he roared. "Not like this or you'll be up there too and can see him in person! You weren't even looking for that Merc! You're not going out and making yourself an easy target again! Not on my watch!"

"Unless you're prepared to arrest me, Detective DANIEL FITZGERALD REAGAN, in which case I will have your badge and gun in a drawer somewhere too... I'M GOING!" Jamie answered defiantly with a firm set to his face. "We'll take Eddie and Kaylin to the house first, but I will be at that funeral home at three-thirty sharp, and don't use that crap about looking for the car on me… you walked right past it yourself last night and had no idea it existed until you went to TARU. When I'm on a run I'm focused on that, not on the lookout behind me for deranged snipers that I don't know exist! You want me to change? STOP HIDING THINGS FROM ME and maybe I can make better decisions! Now excuse me while I go get ready. Feel free to park your butt in a chair and put your feet up on the coffee table like you always do… crack a brew and forget to use a coaster… It's not like I have any hope of getting rid of you now!"

Danny huffed and crumpled his scruffy face up with tight lips and a shake of the head as he rubbed the back of his neck in frustration and watched his brother leave the room. For her part as an only child, Eddie had been stone cold quiet and somewhat in shock herself at watching the brotherly feud escalate to that pitch in front of her own eyes. She'd seen a touch of it a few times over recent months, most notable was that memorable encounter in the hospital after Kaylin's rescue and the occasion of her very first Reagan Sunday dinner, but she still had no idea the depths a sibling clash could really boil over to when two people shared so much of a common past along with the Reagan family penchant for pure Irish stubbornness. She did know that the escalated voices had wreaked havoc with Kaylin's nap and she could hear the little girl whimpering in her room now and watched as Jamie was quick to turn heel in the hallway with a roll of the eyes and head that way.

"Terrific," she moaned and collapsed against the couch.

"Aye yai yai," Danny muttered when he finally found his voice and looked over at her with a frown and a heavy sigh. "This should be fun. Dad's gonna flip over backwards when he hears what Harvard is planning _._ Just so you know, Jamie's the toughest one out of all of us to crack when he gets this way. Remember that if you ever have kids of your own," he offered. "At least Kaylin's been spared the Reagan pig-headed gene as far as we know. Eddie... we're really gonna have our work cut out for us this time. You sure you're up for it?"

* * *

 _Next is the aftermath of the funeral and some unfortunate comments are uttered at the family dinner that are going to cause a serious rift between a number of Reagans and set up an unholy alliance between another pair, at least in one person's opinion._


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"I would like to offer a short prayer before the meal today," Frank began uncharacteristically as the entire Reagan family gathered at the family home for a weekday dinner on Friday after the funeral. As was his habit following such a service, he remained in his dress uniform, as did Danny and Henry, who had also attended along with Erin and Linda to represent the family. Eddie and Jamie, however, had stayed at the house in Bay Ridge with Kaylin under guard from Frank's detail throughout the day and were dressed in regular Sunday attire instead out of respect. "On this day when we honored the life and sacrifice of one of our own, Lieutenant Robert James Carson, please bless those who have fallen or given their life for another. May their spirit live on from then and forever," he paused as he looked around the table at all the downcast eyes, noting in particular the tight lines on Jamie's face and added, "I'm not ashamed to admit I'm thankful given the circumstances this week that everyone is here at this table today for our meal. Jack... please continue with grace."

"Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen," his grandson finished as requested and the rest of the family began to eat although the room remained relatively quiet.

"I thought that the eulogy that Captain Carson gave for his brother today was quite lovely," Erin remarked as she broke the silence and passed the bowl of green beans to Danny. "He's very well-spoken."

"Unfortunately, he's been in that position before with the fire department," Frank agreed. "He's a strong leader and very eloquent… but I've found it's practice that makes perfect."

"There was a big turnout, I saw badges from six states," Henry said as he took a roll before instantly regretting that comment as he looked towards his left to where Jamie and Eddie were seated, knowing that his grandson was still taking his decision to recuse himself very hard, although with the threat of this unknown gunman out there for security purposes Frank would have never allowed him to attend anyway… it's not just Jamie's life that would have been endangered in that instance. "I'm sorry, son…" he trailed off.

"It's okay, Pop," Eddie smiled softly as she looked up while sliding a hand over to squeeze Jamie's while he continued to stare down and twiddle with the food on his plate. "He paid his respects privately with the Captain and the Lieutenant's daughters yesterday. They were grateful to him for honoring Mrs. Carson's feelings; she apparently had some issues before this even happened and is still not doing too well."

"Is that why she hit you and did that to your eye, Uncle Jamie?" Sean asked purely out of curiously while he took the bread basket from his great-grandfather as all eyes snapped up at him. "Mom said it was because she's mad at you since you got her husband killed." Danny's youngest son always had a habit of speaking what he was thinking before thinking, as his grandfather called it, but unlike Eva Janko what he said was never deliberately cruel. This comment would leave a mark on the whole family though.

"SEAN!" Erin admonished her youngest nephew as she glanced to the side with a sympathetic peek at her youngest brother before looking across the table and locking on her sister-in-law just as every other set of stunned adult eyes in the room did. "It wasn't right what she did! None of what happened was Jamie's fault!"

Linda was instantly flustered as her hands came down on the edge of the table with such a grip her knuckles turned white and she stared back at everyone with her mouth open in shock.

"That's what you think, Linda?" Jamie asked evenly as he pushed his uneaten plate up and leaned back in his chair while pursing his lips and staring back with flat eyes. "Ed, can you please take Kaylin out in the kitchen?"

"I'll do it!" Jack offered as he sensed he was in the clear unlike his little brother, and he was old enough to know the best place to be at a moment like this was… well obviously elsewhere. "C'mon Kay," he said to the little girl as he came around the table and picked her up. "You can show me where Grandpa hides those good oatmeal cookies."

"Middle drawer left of the stove this week, Jack," Frank advised as he watched them leave the room before bringing his hand up to his face nervously to rub his mustache while he searched for the right approach for what was sure to be volatile family situation.

"Sean, you go too… _now._ We'll talk later." Danny added strongly while he frowned and pushed his own plate away… his appetite lost as his youngest hurried off feeling terrible for what he had apparently started as the tension was palpable now. This was about the last thing needed after an unbelievably stressful few days and the older Reagan brother shook his head not believing that the lightning had been struck from his own personal subsection of the clan. Linda had been very vocal all week long at home after their run in at the hospital in Eddie's room, but he never expected any of this would be brought up in front of Jamie or the rest of the family, especially not today. The prior afternoon's visit with the Carson's had been enough of a strain on the kid, but he had handled it well despite the added unwelcomed company of an obstinate self-appointed brotherly bodyguard.

Everyone waited until all the children cleared the room before the deadly silence was broken.

"Jamie, that's not exactly what I said!" Linda insisted in a loud defensive voice while Eddie stared at her with daggers forming in her eyes. She had grown close to both of her future sister-in-laws in recent months, but an unfair attack on him like this by anyone was enough to make her see red. "Danny and I were arguing, and I told him that I understand why Eloise Carson felt like that. She just lost her husband, and she's been having mental health issues for years from the worry of him being on the job! You know, maybe the NYPD needs to look into what happens to the rest of the damn family instead of just being worried about doing stress training for its officers! I said I'd be angry at anyone I thought had a hand in something like this if it was my Danny we were talking about! I never said you did anything wrong!" she shouted as her eyes flashed.

"LINDA!" Eddie exclaimed, unable to restrain herself by that point and ready to enter her first Reagan family 'discussion' in Henry's words, as an active participant. "Jamie's a victim too! He didn't have any 'hand' in this and he's _not_ responsible for what happened! That's what you should have told them! If it was Danny we were talking about in this position right now you would have _never_ said such a thing! Especially in front of your kids!"

"Danny has been in that position... more than once... and last time it was our own good friend that was killed on a stakeout the night before his child's christening! Eddie, you just come talk to me in a couple of years..." Linda bit back harshly. "When your husband keeps putting the job before _you_ and _your_ children and we'll see what you think then about whose responsibility it is that he was in that position in the first place!"

"STOP!" Jamie demanded as he reached over and put a hand on Eddie's knee to steady her before she could go any further. "Just please stop all of you! I've had _enough!_ Linda's entitled to her opinion just like everyone else is," he replied coldly before getting up and taking his plate. "I'm going out in the kitchen to grab one of those cookies before they all disappear," he offered before taking his leave as the rest of the family continued to stare at one another in a most uncomfortable silence.

"Linda," Frank started in a more tempered tone before anyone else could jump in as Danny had uncharacteristically kept silent and just buried his face in his hands. He and his wife had been having some real knock down drag outs lately and he didn't even know where to go with it anymore, but this… in front of the family… left him speechless. Had it really gotten this far?

"Don't, Frank," Linda interrupted as she shook her head and put her napkin up on her plate. "I sold my soul to the devil in blue almost eighteen years ago… I don't have much left in me to give anymore. I don't know how all you people take getting shot and dying for a lousy job as such an honor and a great sacrifice. I got shot, and it was terrifying! There's no honor in that!"

"The devil in blue…" Danny finally muttered something out loud as he hung on that phrase. Linda had always been the love of his life, but lately… it was if she had become another person entirely in some aspects. "Guess that would be me then, right Lin?"

"I'm not doing this here, Daniel Reagan," Linda vowed as she got up from her chair and looked around at the remaining dazed Reagans and Eddie with tears rolling down her cheeks. "I want to go home _now!"_

"Take the car," he offered sadly, coming to a sudden realization that nearly stopped his own heart as he tried to process it. "I need to speak to the boys. Erin can bring us back later. I think… I think we need a little time apart to cool off before we can talk about this," he said as he looked up and met her eyes… noting the flash of disbelief that crossed her face as she realized that perhaps things had been pushed further than anyone else would have ever expected. "Go on now," he prodded in an even low voice. "I'll be home and we'll talk later. I promise."

It was not lost on anyone as she left the house in a huff that both of the Reagan brothers had atypically backed down without a fight in a family 'discussion' that would have normally rattled the plaster ceilings. Danny quickly excused himself to go sit in solitary in the den, leaving Frank, Erin, Nicki, Eddie and Henry in the dining room in shocked silence trying to absorb what they had just witnessed.

"Grandpa!" Nicki cried in distress after a few moments as she turned to Frank with wide eyes and tears as Erin reached over to hug and pull her close. "What just happened to our family?!"

"Yeah, that whole bit about having everyone at the table today sure got shot to hell in a handbasket, Francis!" Henry griped with a heavy frown. This wasn't the first occasion there had been such a major blowup at this very table… but it felt a bit different this time.

For his part, Frank himself was left heavily stunned and oddly indecisive as looked at the remaining faces staring back at him while his mind searched in a familiar way for one of his ever-present quotes to take comfort and guidance in, but none were immediately forthcoming. He had two sons at odds with others and hearts torn for entirely different reasons, and he himself was for once completely at a loss as to how to approach them. There was only one now that might be willing to hear him as Jamie had been nothing but cold and distant to his father all week, something that Frank had anticipated and was willing to accept even though it hurt his heart given the events around the shootings. He knew for a fact that the moment he'd instructed Renzulli to pull his son's badge and gun what the reaction would be, but Frank Reagan had a deep personal insight into what might actually be at the root of Jamie's actions and it was time finally to pull it out into the light and put it to rest for good. He had few true regrets in his life, but the way a certain situation had been handled in the past and the obvious scars it had left on his boy was definitely one of them. He'd just keep patiently swapping his pawn until Jamie was ready to move a piece forward and listen, but for now the tension was markedly ratcheted up between the two of them as his youngest and family had been forced to shelter here under his father's own roof for safety while the hunt for this bumbling cop-killing gunman continued.

That left Danny. His oldest would probably be willing to listen to a little sage father-son advice before he did anything rash if he gave him some space for a few more minutes. Yes, he'd be first to talk to given the fact that he planned to leave shortly and Jamie was presently a captive audience anyway. In the meantime, while he waited for Danny to gather his thoughts there was no reason he couldn't do a little reconnaissance on his other son to figure out where his head was at since he had Eddie alone front and center right now. He turned to his future daughter-in-law, "I thought Jamie would be more upset hearing something that."

Eddie nervously looked at the kitchen door, but decided to come clean in a low voice anyway as the worry over this whole evolving situation was rocking her to the core as well. "He's not handling this well. He gets angry for a few minutes and then pushes that down and accepts it like it was meant to be or goes on with things like this is not even happening."

"Maybe he's putting it in perspective this time," Henry offered. "He has to know this is not his fault on some level, even though he's had more than enough people telling him otherwise lately," he spat with more than a little venom towards two women in particular.

"Well there's perspective and then there's denial," Frank muttered, "which is supposed to move into pain and guilt and then anger if you follow the seven stages of grief, but sometimes when he's like this he never moves past the anger step because once he gets there he turns away back into pain and guilt and stays put instead of going through it."

"Well he's plenty angry at you this time, Dad," Erin noted. "He won't even look at you."

"And Renzulli," Eddie added sadly. "He's so mad at the Sarge… I mean Lieutenant for taking his badge away and making him go see Dr. Meherin."

"Good," Frank said as he sat back in his chair and the others looked at him in surprise. "I'm not letting him run away and hide from it this time. It needs to be fixed and if I have to keep him angry and make myself the target to force it out... so be it," he added. "Eddie, you just stay strong in all this… he needs you to be his rock and confidant. We're all going to get him through it together," he sighed as he got up and headed towards his oldest son in the den. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have another problem to address."

* * *

 _Poor Frank does have a lot on his plate right now, doesn't he? Next, he will be forced to have two separate conversations with his sons that eventually have them winding up in the same place for different reasons as both brothers come to a similar conclusion about it being time to move on._

 _Next chapter will be posted on Monday as I'll be driving a gazillion miles with a kid for a state cup soccer game at o'dawn hundred on Sunday and will be out of pocket all morning._


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

"What are you thinking, son?" Frank asked sincerely as he closed the doors to the den and paused to pour a generous few fingers of scotch into two heavy tumblers before approaching Danny on the couch and handing him one before he sat himself in an opposite chair. "Temperatures seemed pretty high in there," he noted.

"She's been like that all week," Danny admitted as he swirled the amber liquid around in his glass before taking a sip. "Hell, it's been longer than that. I mean she took the shooting hard last year and it was rocky for a while, but then it got a little better, you know… before it got worse. Now with what's happened it's all raw again. She had no right to say that about Jamie though, especially in front of the boys," he said as he looked up with great sadness and met his father's eye. "The last thing the kid needs now is his family turning on him again."

"It's probably the last thing Linda needs too," Frank advised with a heavy sigh. "I don't want you doing something you're going to regret, Daniel. You can't run away from this… you owe it to those two boys in there."

"I _am_ doing it for my sons," Danny insisted as his voice raised and he angrily put the glass down on the coffee table before rocking back in his seat with his elbows on his knees. "And I'm _not_ running away. I don't want to stop being married to her, Dad. I just want my old Linda back, but we need to stop hurting Jack and Sean by constantly fighting in front of them. You see the things they are picking up from that. You told me once that no marriage was perfect and when you and Mom had your struggles you used to fight in the bathroom with the shower running so the kids wouldn't hear. We don't have a place like that in our house, Dad. Even if we did we've both gotten too loud to hide it. Linda's put up with a lot in our marriage… maybe I have been the blue devil all of these years," he mused. "But this time… this time she has her own demons and they're eating her alive. She's angry at me, angry at the job… maybe just plain scared. I don't know, after the shooting…" he trailed off. "That PTSD counselor she went to see… she put all kinds of ideas in her head that this was about me and the way I do things…"

"And you disagree?" Frank prodded. "You do tend to go into things guns blazing, Daniel… and ask questions later."

"Yeah, okay. I do that," Danny agreed. "But this woman… she brought up my relationship with mom and stuff like that... the way she handled you being on the job. I got frustrated and left. That's not what's behind the problems Lin and I are having… Jamie maybe…"

" _The key to survival is to embrace one's past and to not run away from it. And to come to some sort of relationship with it or understanding of it."_ Frank offered.

"Oh NO! _Please!_ For the love of God, Dad!. _.._ No more of your introspective brain bleeding quotes, I'm begging you… I can't take it! Save them for another day!" Danny moaned as he sat back against the cushions and crossed his forearms over his pounding head. "Francis Xavier Reagan?" he questioned finally when he could no longer stand it after a few minutes of silence.

"Anderson Cooper, actually."

"Anderson Cooper," Danny echoed as he rubbed his face. "Great, now you're giving me marriage advice from an outspoken gay liberal news anchor… then again he probably has a much better handle on this than I do."

"Completely relevant," Frank insisted.

"Try that one on Harvard tonight," his oldest son offered as he remained leaning back and staring at the ceiling. "That's if you can get near him… especially the part about embracing the past and not running away from it. I just wish he would be able to understand why we did what mom asked. Make sure you have your sidearm locked up though… I've never been so happy that somebody got their badge and piece lifted as I was yesterday when I told him he had me as a shadow all afternoon when he went to that viewing."

"I know," Frank sighed as he took another heavy swallow of his single malt. "Where are we at with that?"

"The investigation?" Danny replied as he tipped his head forward and did likewise, catching sight of the wedding band on his finger as he savored the smooth sting as it went down his throat. "No hits on the ballistics for the rounds that killed the jogger. Name was Matthew McKay by the way… a real estate agent over in Yonkers, poor bastard. Single with no kids. Waiting for the DNA to come through on that glass lens we found since there weren't any usable prints. I had TARU trying to track the car but a patrol unit found it burning down by the docks last night so no trace or anything left there… it was listed as junked years ago by a little old lady upstate who died in 2013. We've got nothing on it."

"What about motive?" Frank asked.

"You tell me, Dad," Danny demanded. "You got anything on the OCCB wires that say this is a hit because of the undercover work he did? Because it doesn't feel like that to me. Whoever is doing this… it's personal and he's too much of an idiot to be a hired gun. Baez and I showed Jamie stills and bits of video we could pull, but nothing was really clear… even with the kid's memory though I honestly don't think he has a clue who this is. Could be a family member of someone he put away… or somebody just coming after him because of his name… no way to tell yet. Just hope that DNA points us somewhere. I put a priority rush on it, but the tech told me the lab's backed up because one of the main computers is down. We won't have anything until Monday afternoon at the earliest. This guy's in the wind for now, Dad," he sighed.

"We got nothing on the wires," Frank said, shaking his head. "I don't know what to make of this either, Danny… something feels off."

"What are you gonna do with Jamie?"

"That's a good question," his father answered with a glower as he looked down and chewed his lip. "Keep them here with a guard on the house for the time being until I figure something else out. What about you, Daniel? What are you going to do?" he added as he focused once more on the other problem in the room.

"I am going to go talk to my boys," he admitted as he finished his drink and sat forward before getting up while looking his father in the eyes. "And then I'm going to go home and tell Linda I'm stepping back to find a place where we can fight in the bathroom with the shower running so the kids don't hear it anymore… something like that."

"You know you're welcome to stay here in your old room," Frank called after him with a heavy heart.

"I know, Dad," Danny said softly as he paused in the doorway. "But you have your hands full with the company you've got. I don't need to add to it and I don't think Jamie would appreciate seeing my mug more than he has too... although somebody's gotta look after him, Eddie can't do it all. I'll figure something out," he added as he left his father still frowning and sitting in his chair by the lamp contemplating Nicki's earlier question of what had just happened to their family.

###

"Jamie, you need to talk to me about this," Eddie said softly as she slipped onto the couch in the sunroom next to him and wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and shoulders to knead at his locked up muscles. "You know what Linda said wasn't true… you have to believe me on that, and we're in this together remember? Fifty-fifty… right? Well maybe sixty-forty, I always demand a lot of attention, don't I?"

"Ah, Ed," he sighed as they sat there together quietly for a while and just watched as Kaylin put one of her puzzles together. Grandpa kept the toy box in the sunroom as well stocked with new surprises for the little girl as his secret stash oatmeal cookie jar. "What's there to say? I really don't know anymore…" he trailed off.

"Know what? Know if you still love me?" she teased playfully as she continued to softly work on him before putting her right hand around his chest for a hug and resting her chin on his shoulder as her hair brushed up against his face.

"No... not that of course," he smirked his patented sideways grin for probably the only time that week as he savored the scent of that French vanilla shampoo that had driven him crazy since the first time she used it. "That's the only thing I'm sure of anymore… you and this little girl… but being here imprisoned in this house again…"

"We're not prisoners, Jamie. Your dad's just trying to keep us safe until they find this guy."

"Yeah, so he says. I guess that's why they pulled my badge too before anyone even knew about that. Everyone always seems to be doing stuff like that for me because they know best," he admitted sadly. "I can't, Ed. I can't stay here… not now. I don't know why but I feel like I'm suffocating all over again like when I had the pneumonia… I can't breathe. When I think about everything that's happened this week... I don't know which way to turn, I feel like I'm boxed in and trapped."

"And you're angry with your dad? Why? Because he doesn't want to see you hurt? Jamie you would do anything for Kaylin and she's only been in your life for less than a year. Can you imagine how your own father feels seeing you in danger?"

"Yeah, like Danny's made out of armor and I'm made out of toothpicks. Same as always."

"Oh, Jamison Reagan," she sighed. "Maybe I just don't understand this sibling rivalry stuff since I don't have one. You can't always put yourself up against him and think that's the way your father looks at you."

"That is pretty much the definition of a sibling rivalry, Ed," he reminded. "And that's exactly what Dad sees and he wasn't the only one… been that way forever."

"But not with Joe?" she asked. "You never say those things about him."

"Small stuff," he admitted. "Sure… who scored the most points at basketball, who had the fastest time at track… who took the prettiest girl to the prom… never about the big stuff. We always had each other's backs for that."

"But Danny wants to help you now, Jamie. He wants to have your back like taking you to that viewing and making sure you were safe, but that made you angry instead. He was so upset when he called me that first time yesterday… when he heard about that jogger being shot. He… he really thought that was you. It was terrible for him… and now with what happened today with Linda, he's really torn up over that too. The boys were crying when they left… it's awful. I've been there when parents and kids go through stuff like that and it really hurts. Maybe he needs you too right now. He's family."

"It's never worked that way for us, Ed," Jamie admitted sadly. "Danny's never taken my help for anything."

"Well then what are we going to do?" she asked. "You're going to explode one day if you keep bottling all this up…" she finished as she felt him tense under her touch once more. _Too close to that line,_ she thought and quickly looked for for a way to back out of it. "We could always go stay with Mom in Rochester for a couple of weeks," she added, knowing that was a sure way to instantly distract him. _I'm getting better at this,_ she thought smugly.

"Please tell me you didn't even suggest that," Jamie sighed and rubbed his face. He hadn't even breached the subject of Eva's parting lecture with Eddie and the non-approval she had issued for their planned life together. _Boy if she only knew about that,_ he shuddered… _she'd sure have a different opinion on family right now._

"I hear the weather in Rochester is lovely at this time of year," Frank commented as he and Henry carefully made their way into the sunroom and sat down to join them despite the glare he received from his son over that comment.

"It's not like you'd let me go even if I wanted to, right? I'm grounded again. For how long this time?"

"You already know the answer to that, Jamie… you're a smart boy," Frank answered carefully in turn. "You'll be here as long as it takes." He frowned a bit though and glanced at Eddie when his son followed with a sarcastic laugh. "You think this is funny?" _If this wasn't a case of déjà vu, nothing was,_ he thought as he recalled almost the same conversation and prepared to spar in a familiar way while thinking back to the last time Jamie had been confined here in this manner when word across the OCCB wires was that the Sanfino crime family had put a hit out on his alter-ego, Jimmy Riordan.

"No, I think it's ridiculous, just like before…" Jamie spat back as Eddie blinked on. This whole past week had sure been enlightening to her on the Reagan family dynamic front. She would have never guessed such tensions ran underneath their normally near-perfect veneer. "Only now you've taken it a step further and you're locking up my whole family with me! Being a Reagan sure has its perks, doesn't it, Dad?" he continued loudly, causing Kaylin to look up anxiously. The little girl still hated raised voices after the experiences she had prior to her adoption.

"Watch it, weisenheimer, and keep your voice respectful to your father in front of your own daughter! I can still take you over my knee, you know!" Henry growled at low volume as he inserted himself into the conversation before softening a little. "Jamie, you're not thinking straight now, son, and there's no way your father or I are going to let harm come to you, Eddie or Kaylin because of it. We're equal opportunity worrywarts."

"How am I supposed to walk around with that on my shoulders?"

"That's for you to figure out. No one's asking you to do it alone and we're not gonna change," Henry added. "Let your family help you, son."

"I don't want to be here," Jamie answered in a soft, almost child-like voice as he stared at the floor and Kaylin came over to jump in his lap, sensing her father's distress. "I just can't do this anymore." Eddie was still sitting there with her arms around him and felt him wilt into almost nothing.

Frank Reagan paused with heavy regret and misty eyes as he asked for forgiveness from his beloved Mary for what he was about to do since he could see his youngest son was coming up on a familiar roadblock and ready to turn back again. He couldn't let him… not this time. The consequences were too great and he couldn't allow him to back away. "JAMISON REAGAN!" he barked in a deep voice, causing Kaylin to flinch and burrow into Jamie's side which just further broke Frank's heart. "YOU'LL DO AS YOU'RE TOLD BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU!" he followed in his most heavy thunderous voice and he did not falter when he watched the shock wave mow through Eddie and his son as he sat there and held his little girl. Without another word Jamie picked her up as she was crying and fled the area to go upstairs and slam the door to his old bedroom.

"Frank!…" Eddie gasped as tears of disbelief rolled down her face. He had talked briefly to her before but all of this was so confusing, she couldn't imagine what was happening... it seemed like everyone in the family was turning on Jamie now when he needed them the most. "I know you said… but why…?" she stuttered. "I don't understand either!"

"I'll explain everything as we go," he assured her gently. "Please Eddie, you need to trust me on this. Be there for him but let him stay angry at me. He needs to break down and say something that has been the root of all this guilt he's been stuck behind for all these years… and it wasn't his doing in the first place… it was his mother and me. We made the mistake. Please, I know it looks like I'm trying to hurt him, but it's the last thing I want and that's the reason we've all let this go for so long. It's time to fix it so the two of you can move on with your own family and Kaylin… I don't want to see him wind up repeating what we did to her. This ends now," he finished firmly as stood with a heavy heart and walked towards the kitchen.

"I so wish Mary, Joe and my Betty were here," Henry murmured softly to Eddie after a few moments as he came over and sat on the couch next to her. "This would have never happened in the first place. Francis is right though," he affirmed. "He just made a big move, let him finish this chess match with his son. It's a game that needs to be played. You'll thank him for it when it's over," he added.

"I'm afraid now, though," Eddie replied honestly. "He's so upset with Frank, what if he really tries to leave and that shooter is out there waiting somewhere… we don't even know what he wants and at this point I'm scared if Jamie thinks it's inevitable that something will happen, he might just let it."

"Well then we need to come up with a plan to keep him from doing that," Henry added as he stroked his chin. "We're walking a fine line, but Eddie, for now _you_ will keep him grounded here, and you'll have to stick to your guns about it and not cave because Reagans are all notoriously stubborn and believe it or not Jamie can be the toughest of the bunch. He would never leave you or Kaylin, or knowingly put either of you in danger though. I think I have an idea his father will agree to that might help… you just give me a little time to work it out," he said softly as he reached over to take her hand and give it a gentle squeeze. "We'll get through this, sweetheart, you'll see and when it's over the two of you will be happily married and living in that big old house of Betty's with room to give me a half dozen more great-grandchildren to go with my sweetie-pie Kaylin," he laughed and poked her in the ribs trying to get her to smile. "C'mon, can I get you to agree to at least one or two? Make an old man happy... I've been waiting for a while," he added as she smirked and reached over to give him a hug.

"Love you too, Pop."

* * *

 _Wow, so things really did go to hell in a handbasket to use Henry's words for just about the whole Reagan family there, didn't it? Next up, Eddie tries to distract Jamie with a look at the new house which does little to calm his nerves and another important character from the first series makes a surprising return._


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"What are we doing here, Pop?" Jamie asked as the dark SUV pulled up in front of Henry's old house on Saturday morning after wandering around the neighborhoods to make sure they weren't being tailed for the better part of the last twenty minutes and picking them up in front of the family home under guard. "I mean how did you get Dad to agree to let us out in the yard for our state law-required exercise break while Kaylin took her nap?"

"Knock it off already, Jamison," the older man gruffed as he got out of the car and opened the back door for Eddie. "I thought since the two of you are on forced leave anyway there's no reason you can't use the time to work on this place since the detail can sit out here and watch you as well as if you were at home. Seems like you could use the distraction," he advised with a frown as he led them up the steps and used his key to enter the front door.

"Maybe we could get some of it cleaned up so we could move in sooner, Jamie," Eddie added with excitement evident in her voice as her eyes looked past the enormous hoard that Ella Peterson had amassed in her years… a stash that was thickly piled nearly to the ceiling in almost every conceivable space, and instead saw the beauty of the old oak staircase and the potential of the original hardwood floors buried and nearly invisible underneath the stacks of boxes, papers and almost every other conceivable thing. "The roofers I called had a cancellation for the coming week so they'll be here sooner than we thought," she explained. They've already dropped off a huge dumpster in the back yard this morning we can use to get rid of some of this," she explained.

"Pop, how can you stand to see to this way?" Jamie sighed as he looked around. "Grandma Betty always had this place kept so clean and… perfect," he frowned and could not help but stop and realign a box sitting askew on the counter. _There were probably a thousand others that could have used the same attention,_ he thought. "And, good God! _What_ is that smell?!"

"I think it's the litterbox," Eddie admitted with a grimace as she turned the corner in the kitchen and peeked in the pantry before putting a hand up to cover her nose. "Ugh… I hate cats."

"What? Did the freaking thing die in it?!" Jamie griped as he paused and looked around with horror as another thought crossed his mind. "Or was there more than one that's still here?"

"No, no," Henry assured. "Ella only kept one cat, although honestly it was the biggest damn thing I've ever seen in my life. She called it Bear. She took him to the shelter before leaving for hospice. He's not in here anywhere."

"Well thank goodness for _that!_ " Jamie muttered as he figured there was now less of a chance to uncover a body underneath the piles while he pulled a cabinet open only to have all of the contents fall out and the door set crookedly on the hinges. "Who could live in a mess like this? Are you sure about this, Ed?" he sighed, mentally calculating the hours of pure manpower it was going to take before this place was anywhere close to being in the type of condition he would consider bringing Kaylin into. They could easily lose her if one of those stacks came down on her tiny body.

"Jamie, I know this will be a lot of work, but your grandmother loved this house… I want to see it put right," Henry insisted. "You and Eddie can do this. It'll make a fine home for Kaylin. Just give it a chance."

"I wouldn't even know where to start," he sighed as he leaned back against the countertop and glanced once more towards the doorway where that malodiferous stench was wafting over from. His eyes lit on familiar uneven lines scratched into the wooden frame with letters and dates written next to them. Eddie followed his gaze and ran her hand over the rough wood.

"JHR," she said as she fingered one. "October 92," she smiled as she glanced back at him. "This was you, wasn't it? At what? Six or seven?"

Jamie had settled himself to a degree and joined her to look at the markings. "Yeah," he smiled slightly as he traced the lines. "I sure was a little guy for that age, wasn't I? Here's Danny's and Erin and Joe…" he trailed off as a lump rose in his throat. "JCR, that was Joe's," he said hoarsely as he turned away and leaned back heavily on the counter once more. No matter how many years had passed he was still surprised at how fast unexpected little things like initials scratched into a height chart could drive the grief straight back into his heart and rip it open like a dull dagger. He would miss his brother until the day he died himself.

"I'm so sorry," Eddie said as she came over and slid her hand comfortingly along the small of his back. "I forgot this place holds a lot of ghosts for you too."

"Betty just about had a pure holy fit when she came home and saw that in her kitchen," Henry smiled at the memory of his beloved wife and her tough and domineering Irish spirit. "I thought she was going to take a switch to _me_ that day for letting them do that while I was watching the four of them, but you see it's still there," he added softly. "Parts of our family history will always be here, Jamie… that's why it was so important to me now that it stays with us."

"I know, Pop," his youngest grandson sighed as he looked back at the older man with an almost defeated frown. "It's just so much… so overwhelming… I don't know where to start to put it right, it's all out of order. Especially with everything else going on right now… and Eddie's still not supposed to be overdoing it. Her doctor wants her to rest..." he trailed off.

"You'll start just like anything else this big," his grandfather advised, and it was evident to everyone in the room that he was talking about more than the messy house surrounding them. "Pick one small corner and work out from there. Pretty soon with some hard work you'll have all the pieces put back in place and something to be proud of when you're done," he smiled. "But start with what smells the worst first. Get rid of that litter box now, Jamie. C'mon, a gentleman doesn't ask a lady to do something like that. Pick that thing up and dump it out back. I'll get the door for you," he offered.

Jamie did as he was told and gingerly picked up the offensive item after grabbing some newspaper to protect his hands and held it out in front of him while grimacing and taking shallow breaths as he headed for the kitchen's back patio door while Henry waited to open for him. He had barely taken two steps through the threshold before he leaped back in terror and tripped over the sill after he threw the tray down the outside porch steps to the ground as a large angry ball of black fur shot past his head, hissing and snarling before bouncing off the countertop inside and alighting on the top of the refrigerator; regarding them all with shimmering green eyes, a smudge of white offset on one side of his nose and a fiercely twitching tail.

"Oh, God!" Eddie screamed as she drew her off duty weapon and trained it on the invader before lowering it and holding her hand to her chest as she leaned up against the wall. "Cat!" was all she managed to follow with as her heart thumped madly.

"Cat," Jamie concurred in an almost non-existent huff as he lay flat on the ground on his pride in an oddly familiar position from where he had fallen across the kitchen floor; his life having flashed by once more in six odd directions just as it had the other day when Bill Anderson's truck had backfired and scared the living daylights out of him.

"Bear," Henry corrected as he was the only one who hadn't flinched. "He does that sometimes when someone new gets near his box or food dishes. Wonder what he's doing back here? Get up, Jamie, and go check his collar out. That looks new... it's got a tag on it. Someone around here must have adopted him from the shelter."

"Me? You want _me_ to get near that thing?!" Jamie gasped as he was unable to avert his eyes to even glance at his grandfather… still not yet daring to budge from his prone position on the floor. He stared up in fascination as he swore the creature's almost iridescent eyes were fixed on his throat from way up there on the top of the fridge where it was glaring down at him. _Grace is gonna have a field day with that whole jumping out of your skin thing when she asks me how the last few days went,_ he thought ruefully as his heart still threatened to pound out of his chest.

"Aw, don't be scared of him… he's a pussycat," Henry chuckled as he walked over to the pantry and pulled a little tin down. "Here… Ella used to give him these for treats, and weren't you always the kid that brought home every single stray you ever came across? You'll be fine."

"Ed?" Jamie squeaked hoarsely, still unable to break that stare as the enormous irate feline continued its laser-like focus on him.

"No way, not me… nuh uh," she whispered, trying not to provoke the animal. "He's only got eyes for you, and you know how much I hate cats, Reagan. If you don't want a permanent houseguest, he's uh, gotta go home."

"I think he assumes he's already here."

"His new home, wiseass. Now get up. Pop says he's friendly and you're the damn animal whisperer."

Jamie swallowed hard as he slowly drew himself up to his knees as a low warning growl reverberated across the space. "Yeah, sure sounds friendly… okay. Nice boy…" he cajoled softly as he continued his slow rise to his feet. "What a good boy… please don't... don't, um, go for my throat… such a good boy. Treat?... Wanna treat, Bear?... You, ah, got my back, right lambchop?" he asked nervously as he took a few steps towards the refrigerator.

"Yeah, sure… whatever you say and I wouldn't use the word lambchop while he's looking at you like that. Now what's on the tag?" Eddie asked as she subconsciously still gripped her weapon.

"Uh… Marvin," Jamie revealed as he got close enough to to see the text on the new sparkling blue name tag hanging on the collar while it's less-than-impressed keeper continued to wind up his low yowling to a more intense pitch. " _Marvin?_ They changed his name? That's just not right. No wonder he ran away..."

"The other side of the tag, Harvard. You know the one with the owner's phone number or address."

"Yeah, well just how the hell am I supposed to get _that_ without losing my hand, Janko?" Jamie turned slightly and hissed to the side at her just as his counterpart did the same and took a clear swipe at his head with an outstretched paw. "Jesus! Did you see that? He just missed me!"

"There! Look… it flipped over. Now you can read it."

"Of course, the tag. Thank goodness you're able to keep your focus from way back there, Edit Katalin."

"I just want that damn thing out of my house, Jamison Reagan!"

"You mean _his_ house, right? 10-4, dear," Jamie retorted as he turned back to his appointed mission while maintaining a respectful distance. "Gaye Family, 3632 Harbor View, 859-2424," he read as Eddie whipped out her cell phone to call. "Marvin Gaye? Like from Motown, seriously?! They thought that was a better choice?" he pondered. "That's about six blocks up the way. Wait! Janko! We're under house arrest with a bunch of armed suits out front! You can't be calling the neighbors to come pop over and pick up the cat. Tell them… tell them we'll be happy to drop him off in a bit," he offered.

"And just how are you going to manage that?!" Eddie demanded as the tense standoff between Jamie and the newly christened Marvin continued.

"A box," Jamie revealed as he looked around. "Cats love boxes. I'll just get him in a box and we'll take care of this."

An hour and a full can of recently expired tuna fish later, Marvin showed his friendly side and was appropriately confined in a sturdy cardboard crate for the short trip back to his new home while Eddie and Henry both sighed in relief with the knowledge that however small, Jamie had been able to fix something and he seemed to have a bit more resolve about the circumstances they were facing as he and Eddie agreed with Henry that they would spend this forced time off cleaning things up at the new house so they could move in as soon as possible.

That didn't mean anyone was naive enough to think that it had rectified everything though, as was clearly the case upon their return home when Jamie walked by his father without so much as a look or a small word between them. While they were away, Frank had spent the whole time that Kaylin was awake cuddling with the little girl and trying to redeem himself in her eyes for his forced outburst the day before which had clearly frightened her and caused her to be wary of him. He had barely slept a wink all night thinking of the look she had given him during that and the deep but purposeful divide that it had thrust between him and his own youngest. For one of the few times in the family history, Frank Reagan considered whether or not it would be best to hold a regular Sunday dinner at the home the following day. He decided to persevere in the end though, knowing it was the strong traditions held by his family that was going to see them all through the current crisis.

No one in the Reagan family could know at that point of course just what that DNA test was about to reveal on that coming Monday afternoon as Danny continued with his investigation, and if it would mean that another three chairs in that dining room would remain permanently empty after this week as another heavy hit was coming Jamie's way.

* * *

 _Bear is back! Well, sort of and it's Marvin now anyway, but we needed that bit of fun after some heavy chapters with more to come. Next, we'll skip that awkward and exceptionally quiet Sunday dinner since there wouldn't be much dialogue happening anyway and pick up on Monday morning as Eddie returns to the house looking for something to do while Jamie has his scheduled appointment with Amazing Grace and Danny wanders around town a little lost until someone decides to take him in._


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Edit Katalin Janko 'soon-to-be' Reagan, as someone special often liked to tease her, sat behind the tinted windows of the SUV at the curb early Monday morning and stared once more at the unkempt front lawn of the house at 801 Driftwood Way with its overgrown bushes and choking weeds covering the first-floor windows. Jamie had been spirited off to his next appointment with Dr. Meherin so she had resolved herself to come here and make some kind of headway in the cleanup efforts to show him that it was possible for things to start to get better, especially given the utter gut-wrenching near silent Sunday dinner the family had endured the day before where most of the food had been thrown out from uneaten plates and barely anyone had lifted their eyes up to make contact with one another. The only exception to that rule had been Henry who had redoubled his efforts in an attempt to cheer up Sean and Jack as they sat next to their father and tried not to look at the empty chair on their side of the table. Danny had made good on the intentions he had expressed to Frank the previous Friday and had taken some of his things and moved out of the house on Staten Island in what he hoped would only be a temporary separation from Linda after sitting down with her and the boys to talk once more before leaving them all shocked and heartbroken that night. For the kids' sakes, their father would continue to be in and out of the house as needed, but Danny had made it clear to Linda that there would be no more fighting in front of them, and if it came to that the separation would become more permanent.

For Eddie, the experience had been oddly reminiscent of the cold decline her own family had sunk into right before her father was arrested. Life in the Janko household that year before his conviction had not exactly been peachy keen either and she was deeply saddened to watch as any of the Reagan's... of all people... had to go through something like that. In her head she knew their family had seen its own share of grief and tragedy… the deaths of Betty, Mary and Joe… Erin's divorce and the difficulties that had left for her and Nicki, but in the time Eddie had come to be part of it, Reagan family life had seemed to be near perfect and she had found herself latching onto that as a lifeline. Now she was left watching with heartache as things were peeling apart and her own greatest love had been rendered numb and airless by the events of the previous week. It was evident to her that Jamie was indeed suffocating under the weight of all of this, and the only thing Eddie could think to do was to find a place where she could safely pull him away from some of it… from the continued tension and provocation his own father was issuing which she just didn't understand no matter how much she trusted that Frank Reagan himself believed he was doing the right thing. She had no idea what he was trying to pull out of his son in this manner, but Eddie had witnessed enough now to feel like she needed to take the reins in her own hands and step in to offer Jamie some protection of her own… just as he had always done for her from that very first night they had met in front of the precinct.

"Officer Janko, is there a problem? Detective Rawlings has cleared the house and is ready to escort you inside whenever you are ready," came the soft inquiry from the front seat which drove her back to earth as she realized she had zoned out with company present.

"Sorry, Jim," she apologized with a soft smile. "I was just trying to figure out where to start. I don't suppose I could talk you guys into working undercover as gardeners, could I?" she asked with a hopeful smirk.

"Above my pay grade," the driver admitted. "My wife says I've got a certified brown thumb."

"I don't think that would matter," Eddie frowned. "Looks like we'll be ripping everything out anyway and starting new," she admitted as she put her hand on the car door. "That is when we're able to spend any time outside..." she added. Kaylin was already getting antsy with being confined indoors so much over the past few days when the weather had been so nice. Henry was distracting her with a morning full of baking and of cookie making at the moment.

"HOLD IN THE CAR!" came the order from the detective already in the house as Jim quickly drew his weapon and Eddie's hand flew away from the door handle as if she was touching a hot stove. "We've got an unknown approaching."

Everyone was grateful when a familiar unmarked silver Dodge Charger pulled into a space across the street and a slightly more than ordinarily disheveled Daniel Reagan stepped out and made his way across the roadway. "It's just Danny," Eddie sighed in relief as she opened the door and stepped out to greet him while still under the watchful eye of the other two detectives assigned to her detail who were taking their mission to protect the Commissioner's family very seriously. No one wanted to screw that up or it would be a quick and permanent exile to Staten Island or worse as it had been apparent to everyone over the course of the last several days that the city's top cop had a short fuse and was in no mood to suffer from excuses.

"Hey," she greeted him warmly as he stepped up on the sidewalk before regarding him with a frown. It was evident from the dark circles under his eyes and added scruff on his face that the oldest Reagan sibling had managed little sleep or time for personal care over the past weekend, driving himself nonstop on the shooting case while removed from his family, and his suit looked… well slept-in would have been the kindest way to put it. "Oh, Danny," she sighed. "You look like hell."

"Yeah, I know," he admitted while still glancing sharply around, not forgetting for a second the circumstances they were all facing. "C'mon, we need to get you inside," he insisted. "I've got this, Rawlings," he motioned to dismiss the other detective who conceded his position as the two of them entered the front door and walked inside the house. "Oh, Christ," he muttered as for the first time he took in the utter packed disarray of his grandmother's formerly pristine living room. "How'd you ever get the kid to walk in the door?" he asked in amazement at the pure volume of senseless trash that consumed the space. "It must drive him crazy to see the place like this," he observed knowing how overly fussy his youngest brother was about such things.

"It does, on top of everything else," Eddie admitted as she looked around, wondering if perhaps she was putting her desires to have their own home above Jamie's mental welfare at this point. "Henry said he tried but he couldn't convince Ella to part with anything before she left. I guess it's just up to us," she admitted a sigh. "That's why I came to get started."

"Does Jay know you're here?" Danny asked. "I thought you were still supposed to be resting after your concussion."

"I'm _fine,"_ she insisted, taking up a familiar defense and avoiding a direct answer to the question. "I've got to do something. This sitting around watching the walls and worrying is getting to me too. Anything more on the shooter, yet?" she wondered, knowing that everyone was growing impatient with the lack of progress.

"Still waiting on the DNA," Danny admitted as he instinctively started pulling some boxes over to reveal a surprisingly attractive red wing arm chair that probably hadn't seen the light of day in years before sinking down heavily on it and letting his head loll over in exhaustion. Apparently Mrs. Peterson had good taste at one point and Eddie wondered what other gems might be hidden under everything else. "I just needed to take a break," he admitted. "I don't even know why I ended up over this way. Thought I'd go to the house and see if Gramps would show mercy and warm up some leftovers for me I guess… I'm sick of takeout. I wasn't expecting you'd be here when I drove through."

"I'm so sorry about everything with Linda," Eddie frowned as she looked at the tired man sitting in front of her, wishing she could do something more for him. "I can't even offer you a glass of water," she sighed as she glanced around. "Danny, you need to take care of yourself. Where are you staying? Why can't you come to your dad's place? Is it because we're there?"

"Dad's got his hands full with Jamie," he admitted. "I don't want to add to that right now. I've been sleeping in the bunk room at the squad over the weekend… spent most of my time there anyway. I don't want to find anywhere, you know… permanent," he added sadly as he lifted his puppy dog eyes to look at her. "I want to go home. I just need somewhere to park my stuff and my tired butt for a few hours each day. Somewhere Linda and I can talk when she's ready, and something to distract me in the meantime."

"Why don't you just stay at Jamie's apartment?" Eddie asked. "It's not like we're using it right now."

"That's a thought," Danny agreed as he glanced around the room once more. "How's he really doing with everything?" he asked, knowing his brother was at his next scheduled meeting with the department shrink at that very moment. "I know he's not speaking to Dad, is he still shutting everyone else out too? I couldn't get two words out of him yesterday."

"No, he's pretty open with me and Pop has been able to talk to him. He brought us over here the other day and convinced him to work on the place. Jamie would do just about anything to get out of that house right now though," she admitted as she looked around. "Almost anything… Danny why is your dad doing this to him? Why now?"

"I don't know exactly," he admitted. "I think he figures I have enough on my own plate to worry about right now, but if I had to guess it's because he's afraid the kid will dwell on the guilt from this whole situation if he doesn't get himself past it… if he's too accepting that any of it was his fault in some way he won't. He's done that before and it was a disaster… instead of letting it out he turns it against himself. There's too much this time," he worried. "It'll destroy him."

"This thing with your father is destroying him," Eddie said shaking her head. "He says he feels like he's suffocating in that house… like when he had the pneumonia. I thought maybe if we could make some headway and spend some more time here it would help, but on top of the mess making him crazy, Jamie's afraid it's too dangerous for Kaylin and he's probably right about that," she conceded.

Danny frowned as he looked around. The kid had a point that little girl could easily get hurt or lost in the mess. This was once a house where all the Reagan siblings felt safe and loved when Grandma Betty had ruled the roost with her stern but gold-hearted manner, and despite the complete choking clutter that surrounded him, it felt comforting to be here again… more consoling than an empty apartment in the East Village where he'd feel even more removed from his family, despite the fact that it belonged to his little brother. Daniel Reagan was a simple man and being in the Marine Corps had taught him a thing or two about roughing it when it came to accommodations. He wasn't looking for much, and staying here would afford him the opportunity to keep a closer eye on Jamie without being directly in his face as well as a shorter trip over to his own home in Staten Island to see the boys. In the end it was an easy decision.

"Would you mind if I crashed here instead?" he asked as Eddie's eyebrows raised in surprise. "I'll work for my room and board."

"Here?" she gasped. "No, Danny… don't do that to yourself. Use the apartment or come and stay with us at your dad's house. You need to be around people, not here in this mess alone."

"I'd rather make my own space here," he answered as he looked around. "This was my home once too… let me help you guys get it back like it was. It'll make Pop happy and maybe it will give Jamie a little peace of mind to see things getting cleaned up a bit faster. It's not like I've done much to solve this shooting case that's keeping you all under wraps and I haven't been able to fix anything myself lately at my house, plus I really don't have the bucks to stay at a hotel. Please, Eddie, this might help. Maybe me and my brother aren't so different after all. I've got a little time before I have to get back to the squad and the DNA won't be back until at least this afternoon if they got that computer up and running in the lab again. I bet we can make a dent in this before the kid gets back." Eddie wasn't sure about that at all, but judging from the desperation in his voice, it seemed to be something that Danny needed… a little bit of a lifeline to pull him back from being lost… just like Jamie, Kaylin and the rest of the Reagan family had done for her.

"Alright," Eddie smiled as she reached back and tugged her ponytail tighter before rolling up her sleeves. "You've got a deal; you can stay here as long as you need to. Let's get started."

* * *

 _And so the collusion between Eddie and Danny begins innocently at first… wonder where that will take us? They will become quite a pair as this progresses, and perhaps circumstances might force them into closer quarters now sooner than they think. Next, Jamie dances once again during his appointment with Dr. Meherin while Frank likewise reflects on some of the recent events while distracted at work._


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

"So it appears then that you've had a busy few days after our last session," Dr. Meherin commented as she finished listening to Jamie's rather sanitized account of his experiences since the previous Thursday morning. He had purposefully left out the continued strife within the family and had focused only on the circumstances behind the jogger's shooting and Lieutenant Carson's viewing. His subdued reaction to the news about the man with the mistaken identity shot in his place at the park puzzled her though, as did his resolve and actions in dealing with the Carson family, and neither fit her theory on what was troubling him. Perhaps it was time to go back to the beginning and review.

"Jamie, remember the other day I told you that trauma-related guilt was addressed through a number of treatments, one of which is a psychoanalytic approach to examine earlier life events and how they relate to what you are experiencing now. Let's explore that."

"Oh, goody," he sighed as he sat back in his chair. Somehow he didn't get the impression that session number two was going to end any differently than the first had. At this rate he'd be married, old and gray before he got his badge back. Maybe it was time to play along a little to appear cooperative. The antagonistic approach didn't seem to be working, still he couldn't help but snap back a little after the first question.

"This guilt you experience when someone dies, when did that start?"

"I don't know, isn't that your job to figure it out?" he snarked. "You're the one that thinks I feel that way, not me."

"Well then, who was the first significant person in your life to die?" the doctor continued to direct while ignoring his pointed ire.

Jamie shifted uncomfortably in his seat. This was exactly what he had been dreading from these appointments. There was a deep place inside that he used to store these feelings to keep them locked away and it was intensely private… no one else was usually permitted to see. "My Grandma Betty," he replied finally with more softness and a sigh of resignation. "She had a heart attack one day during my junior year in high school and it caused a lot of damage. She spent weeks in the hospital and the next few months convalescing at home with my Grandpa taking care of her," he added. "Then one night she had another after a blood clot formed and she passed peacefully in the middle of the night."

"Any sleep disturbances then?"

"For me? No, I mean it was kinda shocking for everyone and it made my Grandpa sad, but there wasn't anything that could have been done. My Dad took it hard though."

"Who was next?" Dr. Meherin prodded and then looked up from her notes after there was an uncomfortable extended silence. "Jamie?"

"Mom."

"When?"

"Second year at law school… at the end of the first term," he muttered while looking away again. "Cancer."

"You were close to her?" she asked as he nodded. "That must have been difficult for you to watch then."

"I wouldn't know. I was in college... Harvard, that was her dream for me. She didn't want me to be a cop… she always wanted to protect me."

"What did you want?"

"To be a cop like the rest of the men in the family."

"But you agreed to study law."

"Mom thought I was too sensitive to be on the job," he admitted while unconsciously guarding himself with a hand covering his mouth, starkly uncomfortable again with where they were at in the conversation. _Sensitive or weak?_ he wondered.

"You were the youngest child; it's not uncommon for parents and older siblings to dote on the baby of the family."

"Yeah, I guess," he deflected with intent again. If he had been open to this process and what the doctor wanted to do, he would have admitted that it wasn't only his mother that sheltered him… it was everyone else from that point, really from even before he was born. How could he help that? His mother had suffered a very difficult time with his pregnancy and had been on bed rest for much of it. He'd been seen as fragile and weak since before he had even drawn a breath in this world, but that was really none of anyone else's business. "Sleepwalking," he admitted in an effort to speed the process up and move away from this topic like a hot potato. His tactic did not go unnoticed. "And then a year and a half later my brother Joe was killed on the job. Nightmares," he added as they picked up the pace.

"And you entered the academy because of that?" Grace probed trying to slow down his flight.

Jamie just nodded once more. "And you've got the rest in your folder there. Are we done with that now?"

"Gavin Bryant," she continued while ignoring his question and looking at her notes. "You took some time to process that shooting but didn't report any sleep disturbances."

"I didn't have a choice," he sighed. "We've covered that. Just like Johannson last year with the bomb. I felt guilty for taking a life of course, but I did what I was trained to do and handled it even though everyone else was sure I'd fall apart. They always just assume that I can't do my job," he spat as another note was quickly scribbled on her paper. Damn it.

"When your partner Officer Cruz was killed," she interjected. "Could you have done anything differently?"

"NO!" Jamie nearly shouted as he was getting thoroughly frustrated with this line of questioning now. "I tried to warn him, and maybe I should have seen it coming sooner… I still regret that to this day, but no I couldn't have stopped him. He was a stubborn bastard, but we were friends. Told me it was okay in the end; Vin always had to have the last word," he frowned as he realized that he had lost control of the conversation and that was probably favoring the shrink right now; they always loved to get you to admit something out loud that you had no intention to release. Still after being wound up he couldn't help but add one last bit, "And no, before you ask I couldn't have done anything about what happened with Lieutenant Carson or this jogger in the park. It's not my fault this damn shooter keeps screwing up… I don't even know who it is or what he wants with me! Yes, maybe I let some of this stuff get in my head for a while and think about it too hard… maybe I wind up distracted or with some nightmares until I can figure it out, but I know that everyone wants to see me spiral downward so they get some kind of self-satisfaction out of being right about the fact that I can't handle things myself! That's not gonna happen, though," he growled. "The only guilt I feel is that I can't do my job because everyone is waiting for poor little weak Jamison Reagan to crack!"

"I don't think anybody wants to see that, Jamie," Dr. Meherin interjected, inwardly pleased with the progress they were making although she could see the strain was beginning to affect Jamie physically again as the lines on his face were tightening once more.

"I wouldn't be too sure," he replied, shaking his head while muttering under his breath… " _Toothpicks versus armor."_

"That's the second time you've gotten uncomfortable when you've mentioned being seen as too sensitive or weak. The first was with your mother," she observed. "In fact during the last session right before your migraine hit, we were talking about the only guilt you felt over Lieutenant Carson's passing was the fact that you were sitting here with me instead of being allowed out on the job to look for the shooter… you were afraid it would make you look like a less effectual leader in front of your men."

"It _does_ , and yet, we're still here," Jamie griped as he looked at his watch, although it wasn't like he had much to look forward to outside of this room, what with being on house arrest and all.

"Yes, we are," she confirmed. Grace Meherin was a very gifted psychologist, and she wasn't afraid to change her opinion or a diagnosis for a patient as she went along. This was still looking like a case of trauma-related guilt to her, but the impetus had come much earlier than last week's shooting and Jamie was only stuck on these recurring themes when someone died beyond his control because he had not been willing to move past it once and reveal his anger at something else. In situations such as with Gavin Bryant and John Johannson, even with the more severe trauma of Vinny's death… Jamie had done a fair job at processing those instances in a reasonable manner without getting stuck along the journey somewhere. It was only when his path was diverted and he was told that someone else knew better for him that things came off the rails. She knew now with just a few words she could expose him... to show him exactly what was behind these matters, but it would be in a horrible fashion that cut directly to his core and not conducive at all to healing the rift that knocked him back into this state from time to time.

There was still much work to do before they got to that point.

"So tell me about your relationship with your mother," she asked the classic question as she pushed her folder forward while she shifted back in her chair.

"Seriously?" he sighed as he regarded her with a shake of his head. It was apparent now that he would not be getting his walking papers today either. "You shrinks and your mommy issues."

"Humor me," she insisted, satisfied at least that he was still talking and not clammed up. She knew she was toeing a tight line here, but unlike Eddie she had the skills not to cross it until the time of her choosing. Although it was unorthodox, Frank Reagan had provided a full accounting of his son's early years and the relationship he had shared with his mother… one of the perks of being the top of the departmental food chain that she'd accepted, just as his ability to force his son in here was.

"What is it that you want to know?" he frowned as they were getting closer to that personal lockbox of his. Mary Margaret Reagan had been desperate for, loved and doted on her fourth child from well before Jamison Henry Reagan had been conceived and brought into this world, albeit in a slightly irregular manner. He was her special one, the answer to many prayers to above when it had appeared that Mary and Frank could no longer have any more children after suffering through two tragic miscarriages. Everyone knew that, there were no secrets there. "She loved me," he replied bluntly.

"Of course," Grace conceded with a small warm smile. "And your childhood was normal?"

"Well, yeah… I mean after I was born. Mom had a tough time with the pregnancy. She's lost two before that and her and Dad had decided there would be no more, so I was kind of an oops. She spent months on bedrest before I was born, but after that I was just the youngest of four. I did all the same things that my brothers and sister did… we were all into sports and stuff. Grew up playing cops and robbers with my brothers. Mom and Dad expected us to get good grades and mind them."

"And you didn't have a problem with that?"

"No, I guess… I mean I didn't have a problem following rules for the most part and school was always easy for me. My brother Danny had more issues with them; Erin too. Joe was more of a peacemaker between the two of them, and I just..."

"...tagged along," she finished. "Sometimes the youngest child is the biggest attention seeker," she offered.

"I got plenty of attention," he asserted. "Everyone was in my business. Still is apparently," he added shaking his head. "I'm sorry but I just don't understand why we are doing this or how this has anything to do with me having my badge and gun yanked by Renzulli. I had a childhood most kids would dream about. I was not abandoned or abused like so many of the ones I see on the street. I had a family that loved me. My adopted daughter Kaylin… she had no father and a mother that didn't give a damn about her; she went through more before her second birthday than anything I could imagine and she's still affected by it. I don't have _any_ of those excuses!" he insisted as his temper began to raise again as it did whenever he thought about somebody mistreating his little sweetness.

"So you are a father yourself now and understand the desire one can have to protect a special child given what you were willing to risk for your daughter already," Dr. Meherin slid in there, pleased that she had been provided such an opening as she felt it would be the key to getting Jamie past his blockage after he had time to mull over it and put it in order. "That's something I would like you to think about until our next session," she advised. "Our time is up for today. I have another opening on Thursday morning at eight."

"So I'm not cleared to go back to work yet?" he sat back astounded. Here they were again sitting back in a cushy office while this cop-killer was on the loose, his family was sequestered under armed guard and she was asking him back in three days as if it was for a tea social to discuss childcare. Between her and his father, these reindeer games were mind-boggling. "Last time you said I needed an outlet for my stress and I nearly got blown away when I went out for a jog and now you want me to go home and think about how I can be a better daddy?! None of which should have any bearing on the way I do my job! Is there a point to this or are you just yanking my chain to keep me tied up on my father's orders?!"

"No, I can't clear you just yet," she advised while ignoring his hurled barbs in a practiced manner. "But we are making progress. Jamie, you're just going to have to trust me on this."

"Thursday at eight with bells on," he confirmed with a frown before quickly grabbing his jacket and leaving in a huff only to be shadowed immediately after exiting the office and deposited in a dark SUV to be escorted back to a home he desperately wanted to get away from. At this point in time if he'd had another safe option for Kaylin and Eddie they would have been packed up and moved away without a second thought. It almost… _almost_ made a trip to Rochester look welcoming.

Neither Jamie nor Dr. Meherin had any idea of just how hard he should be thinking about protecting his own child at that point in time, and exactly how far it might drive him away if history indeed repeated itself and a mistake from the past was revisited once more no matter the good intentions.

###

"Sir, would you like to order in any lunch?" Detective Abigail Baker asked softly from the doorway as she found her boss standing at the window looking out across the city once more. He'd been doing that a lot over the past few days… canceling appointments and meetings and staying in his office more than not ever since that morning exactly a week ago now when for thirty-five terrifying minutes he thought he had lost his youngest son… and now he was worried about much the same thing.

"Something light," he conceded gruffly without turning around. "You know what I like."

"Yes, sir," she acknowledged with a worried frown. "Sir…"

"That will be all," Frank dismissed her… he'd been doing a lot of that too with everyone lately, and most had the good sense to stay out of the Police Commissioner's way when he was in a mood like this… most, but not all. The door had almost closed when DCPI Garrett Moore put his hand on it and gave Baker a tight nod as he walked in unannounced.

"So what's this I hear you begged off on the Fallen Officer Children's Scholarship Fund dinner tonight," Garrett prodded as he closed the door behind him. "The chairwoman just called me in near hysterics. You know the checkbooks always stay closed unless someone is walking around poking people in their pockets and for this charity you always do a good job at that."

"Not tonight. Chief Benson agreed to step in."

"And where do you plan to be, Frank?"

"Home," he asserted firmly as despite the uncomfortable tension his presence was causing with Jamie in the house, he had no intentions of letting up yet. "Sometimes family needs to come before the damn job for a change," he added sadly as he echoed Linda's words and turned back to the window while praying that the expected DNA results would give them some kind of clarification or direction to take so that part of this situation could be put to rest. That wish was clearly not meant to be as would become evident shortly when a frantic visit from his oldest son would raise a familiar and difficult choice once more.

###

"Well, you're looking a bit better now," Maria Baez commented as a clean-shaven Daniel Reagan rejoined her in the conference room that served as the task force headquarters. "Smell fresher too," she added with a smirk as she was hoping this coupled with a new set of clothes meant that he had reconciled with Linda. "Is that French vanilla I detect?"

"Maybe," he frowned. Why were women always so quick to pick up on things like perfumes and soaps he wondered. "It's whatever was in the shower upstairs at my dad's house," he admitted. "I stopped there to check in and grab a change of clothes. Sorry if I was offending you before," he griped. "We get the DNA report back yet?" he demanded deftly to switch the subject line back to the case and away from his personal life. He'd always had a good relationship with Maria, but in this instance he felt like she had distinctly chosen Linda's side of the debate and he was in no mood to take any of that up with anyone but his own wife at this point.

"I called," she informed him after frowning at his curt reply which clearly indicated that no inroads had been made on settling this separation. "Mike Becker in forensics said they have the equipment back up and running and he pushed our sample to first in line. He's running it through the database right now. Should be any minute if there's a hit."

"There better be," Danny grumbled. "Or Mike will be looking for a new point guard," he added as the CSI tech was the captain of the Reagan brother's half court Thursday night basketball team, and Jamie was his favorite go-to outside shot man. "Anything more on the car? Do we have any idea of how it ended up back on the road once it was sold to that junkyard?"

"Nadda," Maria confirmed. "Place went out of business after an arson fire. There's no paper on it."

"Damn bastard got lucky again," Danny muttered irritably. "Jesus, this guy should just give it up and play the lottery," he added as he was still shaking his head and stressing over the lack of leads when his phone rang with Mike's caller ID. "Finally!" he uttered. "Talk to me, Mike," he ordered as he got up and began to pace while he listened to the report on the DNA from the broken eyeglass lens lifted from the scene of the jogger's shooting. Maria was watching intently trying to read her partner when he suddenly stopped and went 3 shades closer to transparent. "WHAT?!" he demanded as his frightened eyes bugged out and whipped around and landed on her while he silently listened for his friend to confirm the shocking results he had just delivered. "Shit! You're sure?" he whispered as his hand came up to his forehead only to slide over to rub the back of his neck… a classic Danny Reagan stress tell. "Son of a bitch! Sit on this, Mike!" he ordered. "Lock it up! No one gets access to those results until they are released by the Commissioner himself, understand me?! Good, thanks," he added before finishing. "I will," he stated as he grimaced while ending the call.

"We got something?" Maria asked excitedly as she reached for her gun and badge, expecting they would be taking a trip somewhere given the fact that Danny had gone for his own.

"No, ah…" Danny stuttered as he closed his drawer. "Wait. Maria, listen... I gotta go to my dad with this first… _alone,_ " he tried to explain as his partner's big expressive eyes flashed over with anger.

"This is my case, Danny!" she shouted. "You can't withhold evidence from me! This is a cop-killer we're talking about! We've got 35,000 uniforms out looking for this guy! We need to find him before he hits again or vanishes without another trace!"

"I know," he said apologetically as he stopped and turned to her. Something in his face looked completely drained of all belief as if a part of him had just died and she knew he was serious about this being a threat against the Reagan family themselves. "This is personal, and it's not just Jamie he's after. He's not going after other cops. Please, Maria… I swear I'll tell you as soon as I can but right now I've gotta get to my dad and see how he wants this handled. I can't let it out until then. Just keep working the other leads and try to figure out where this piece of crap has been holed up all this time."

"Well that would be a hell of a lot easier if I had a name to go on!" she spat back at him, still angry with having been pushed out of the loop once more. Daniel Reagan had certainly made it a mission as of late to alienate some of the most important women in his life.

"There's no name," he revealed. "I wish we had that information, but we don't," he insisted as he left her puzzled. "I just know what his motive is," he offered by way of explanation before he jogged out of the room on his way to 1PP and left her to stew on that revelation.

* * *

 _So the DNA test results have come back, but not wholly in the way that was expected which will send further shockwaves through the family and reveal the motive behind Quinlan's attacks to them. How will Frank react to the news that his youngest granddaughter is now under threat as well his son, and will he be tempted to listen to Danny when he urges him to repeat a past mistake? Let's just say that the big guy is NOT pleased and oddly indecisive which will come back to bite him._

 _For all those wondering (and thank you for the reviews!), yes there will be another memorable showdown between Marvin/Bear and his arch nemesis Daniel Reagan who has, after all, just agreed to move himself into the cat's preferred home turf, but that will be in a few more chapters as Danny will soon be off on a little road trip with another friend for a bit._


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"IS THIS A JOKE?!" Frank Reagan bellowed at his oldest son from the privacy of the couch in his fourteenth-floor office at 1PP after Danny had arrived looking flustered and his father had been quick to banish everyone else out of the room immediately knowing that the ensuing news could not be good. He never expected the words he heard though.

"Dad, the profile came back as a partial match to Kaylin… fifty percent."

"SON OF A BITCH!" he had cursed as a hand came up to cover his mouth and rub his mustache as his mind whirled forward to click the pieces into place. The little girl's mother, Jayne Marie Jeffers, was undisputedly dead, having been killed instantly by a broken neck suffered in that tragic accident at the bridge last summer... the one where he had watched as his own son had risked his life by rappelling down a line to retrieve a frightened little baby girl from the car before it could slide into the swollen river and drown her. Kaylin had been an intimate part of the Reagan family ever since that moment. There was only one answer… this man, the one in the black car who had shot his officers, maiming one, killing Lieutenant Carson and that jogger in a second attempt to take his youngest son's life in the park was his little sweetheart granddaughter's biological father, and a murdering cop-killer on top of that. His fist slammed down on the coffee table and rattled it for good measure at that thought.

"WHO IS HE?! I WANT A NAME!"

"We don't know that yet," Danny admitted with a heavy frown as he watched as his father got up and started to pace with his hands in his pockets to keep them from shaking. "When Mike failed to get a hit in CODIS or any of the NYPD databases, he opened it up all New York State organizations, including CPS. This mutt doesn't have a profile anywhere he could find, but Jayne had to have Kaylin tested when she applied for a support order against another guy two years ago. He wasn't a match, and she claimed not to know who the father was after that. This is the first hit to her they've had."

"And he shows up here looking for Jamie," Frank seethed. "NOW?! How would he even know where to find Kaylin… her court records are sealed…" he pondered before stopping and jerking inwardly as he cursed again. "THOSE GODDAMN ARTICLES!" he spat in a rage. "The ones they ran with the photos of me picking up Kaylin at the daycare… the ones Ms. Adams leaked to the press last fall! They mentioned Jayne's name and the accident and the fact that Jamie had rescued Kaylin and was adopting her!"

"And this guy somehow managed to put two and two together," Danny finished for him.

"Why now and what does he want?" The agitated pacing continued as Frank imagined the upcoming conversation he would be forced to have with his youngest… a son that was already traumatized by the events of the past week, and here they were about to heap another unbelievable level of stress upon him. A threat to Kaylin like this might very well send him over the edge as it were. "Who else knows?" he barked as he turned to look at his oldest.

"No one, yet… just Mike and I told him to sit on it and lock it down until he heard from us directly," he affirmed.

"So he comes for Jamie... more than nine months later?" Frank continued. "Doesn't even know what he looks like at first and follows and shoots the wrong cop. I was at Jayne's funeral with your grandfather. There was no one that matched this description there," he offered as he reviewed his own eidetic memory tracks. "Why the long gap?"

"I don't know. At first I thought maybe given his looks he could be jailbait," Danny admitted. "But that doesn't explain the lack of a DNA profile unless he was put away before the testing was mandated, although that would have been close to the time Jayne would have been with him I guess. Baez interviewed Office Rodgers at the hospital again yesterday when we were at dinner," Danny offered. "He's off the vent now. He told her that this guy asked for Jamie by name and that he said that he'd be right out; they were riding together that morning."

"And Carson took the tour instead," Frank filled in with a shudder at how close he'd come to losing another son, twice. "He must have looked Jamie up and somehow figured out where he lived after he realized he'd made a mistake."

"TARU puts the car back in the vicinity of the 3-5 the next morning, sitting back further though because of the security since you went…"

"...to address the precinct," Frank finished. "Renzulli and I sent Jamie home, and he went and picked up Kaylin at the daycare down the street first. The bastard followed him from there! Do we have anything else on this guy?"

"Just that Mike said the lens that was dropped was cheap, not something that would have come from a regular eye doctor so no tracing it through there, probably picked up second hand or at a drugstore or something and this guy is seriously nearsighted or has other issues going on... 20/200 vision at best," he concluded.

"Someone has to know who Jayne was running with at the time Kaylin was conceived. Go talk to Renzulli and see if he knows anything about it since it's his old partner's daughter," Frank ordered. "She was living upstate at the time. Maybe the eye problems will jog his memory. We need to keep this quiet though," he asserted. "Need to know only. If this gets out in the press again..."

"I know. My partner's already on the warpath about it though," Danny admitted. "I'm gonna have to tell her, and Dad…" he paused. "We've gotta figure out what to do with Jamie. This guy must be after Kaylin. He's gonna freak if he knows that and do something stupid," he offered as a grand understatement.

"What are you saying, Daniel?" Frank asked coldly as he turned around and stared his son down. "That we should keep something like this from him? _AGAIN?_ We can't do that," he replied, shaking his head and resuming his measured strides back and forth across the room. "He'll find out eventually, and… no, no, no… not now. That would drive him away from us. He has a right to know," he concluded while rubbing his face with both hands.

"Jamie can't handle this!" Danny insisted as he jumped to his feet to make his point. "Especially not now with everything that's happened! You know that! He'll go into another one of these funks and walk out in the street one night and get hit by a car or make himself a clear target! At least give me a little time to try to track this guy down! You just have to tell the kid that the DNA wasn't a hit in CODIS and leave out the rest for a little while. We can tell him that Mike ran that later after we have a bead on who the shooter is! It's for his own good, Dad!"

Frank paused at his window again and he searched the horizon for some answer to his dilemma as his first urge was to protect his son and Kaylin by any means necessary and he knew that Danny was right in that this might rock Jamie to the core and force him away or out into the open. In addition to that those news stories had intricately linked the Police Commissioner to this little girl, and he worried now that if this man was still hunting for Jamie and Kaylin... as they had every reason to suspect… that his next logical choice would be to try to find them at the family home since they had been removed from Jamie's apartment. It was no longer safe for them there either and they needed to be taken somewhere else immediately along with Eddie while this maniac was still on the loose. How could he pull that off without telling Jamie the truth? Not to mention his youngest son had suffered through a poor decision like this once before and it was still haunting him to this very day. They couldn't… or rather _shouldn't_ really keep something like this from him again, and yet it was so tempting to hide some of the details from him, at least for a little while… for his own good…

"What are you going to do, Dad?" Danny demanded as he stood looking at his father in a defiant pose with his hands on his hips. "What are you going to tell him?!"

"I don't know," Frank admitted as his mind swirled through the possibilities. "I'm afraid I'm going to lose him either way now. I just… I just don't know…" he trailed off as he had to admit one fact to himself.

For once the Police Commissioner didn't know everything.

###

"You told him WHAT?!"

Eddie cringed as Jamie's sharp voice cut through the room like a knife; a tone she rarely heard from him. She had worked tirelessly all morning on the kitchen area at the new house and wanted to show him how far she had gotten. The counters and floor area had been cleaned off with eight big loads of trash taken out to the dumpster and the upper cabinets had all been emptied out with the dusty dishes stacked neatly by the dishwasher which was waiting for a hose to be repaired. Danny had promised to pick up a replacement part on his way home that evening… home to 801 Driftwood Way where he would be living for the near further as she had just informed his brother upon his return from the frustrating appointment with Dr. Meherin.

"He's family, Jamie… and he needed somewhere to stay. I offered him your apartment first," she paused as that incited another major eye roll which smacked her from across the room. "But he said he would rather be here because it's closer to everyone and he can get over to see the boys faster from than from uptown. He wants to help us clean up," she insisted. "Look, he took down that big stack of boxes over there that were practically falling over filled with newspapers and he found this chair," she hyped as she pointed to the red wing arm chair that was currently the center of attention in the living room area… and the only place in the house fit to sit at the moment.

"You don't understand!" he insisted as he walked through one of the semi-clear passages to try to catch up with her as she made her way around another stack of debris and into the other room. _This was like trying to find someone in the aisles of a grocery store,_ he griped to himself as her short blond head disappeared from sight. Mrs. Peterson had made certain pathways through the house and it was like a virtual maze with corridors and dead ends… maybe a more appropriate comparison was a rat looking for his piece of cheese. "Gotcha!" he shouted as he climbed over a pile on the floor and cornered her near the hall bathroom.

"I don't understand what?" she tutted while pulling boxes filled with hundreds of back issues of woodworking magazines out of the half bath. It was her next mission to clear this space for Danny so it was useable and offered privacy with a door that could actually close. Luckily the bulk of the hoard was confined to the lower levels as Mrs. Peterson's health had declined in recent years and the upstairs was in slightly better shape. With his help to carry things down the stairs they could probably get the smallest single bedroom cleared out for him in a relatively short amount of time.

"We're supposed to be cleaning this place up, right?" Jamie asked as his little blond whirlwind was now tossing things about like an interior F1 tornado.

" _We_ aren't doing much of anything right now," she paused as she turned to him and huffed a strand of hair that had fallen from her ponytail out of her eyes while her hands were full. " _I'm_ cleaning. _You're_ complaining," she offered as she shoved another half-full carton at him and knocked him backwards a step.

"Okay, but you haven't lived with him before," Jamie insisted as he stayed on his train of thought while he desperately tried to pick up after her as she turned back and tossed a few more loose items out into the hall. "Danny's like that guy in the odd couple, Oscar Madison. He's a slob. If he stays here we won't know if it's his mess we're cleaning up or the Peterson's!"

"Oh Jamie, now you're just exaggerating," she said as she picked up one of the boxes to discard and darted her way in knowing fashion back through the maze to add it to the pile that was waiting at the back door to go to the dumpster. "At this rate I'll have to call them to come empty it before the roofers even get here," she griped. "Anyway, I've been to Linda and Danny's house… it's as neat as a pin. He was a Marine… he's not a slob."

"Because he has Linda constantly nagging..." he paused as he caught a fierce glare from his intended, "...um, _reminding_ him to pick up. I'm telling you if Danny had his own place it would wind up looking like this in a few years, only it would be dirty shirts and underwear piling up because he never thinks to do the wash!"

"The wash!" Eddie exclaimed. "Where is the laundry room by the way? You know the Peterson's must have replaced all the appliances before they moved in when they bought the house from Pop. Everything's practically brand new," she gushed. "Look, I managed to clean out the fridge so we can save it and I can't wait to see what kind of washer and dryer we have!"

"Oh, brother," Jamie sighed as he grimaced at the thought of using a refrigerator that had once contained spoiled food while she took off again. That concussion from last week sure wasn't slowing her down at all anymore as she flitted towards the back of the house in search of the laundry. "In the mudroom to the left at the end of the hall," he called as she got ahead of him and he heard her squeal in delight at the treasure she discovered there. Soon there were more bags and boxes flying as she wallowed through and dug over to her prizes as a high-end stainless steel front-load washer and dryer pair was revealed.

"Look, Jamie!" she exclaimed. "We could have never afforded a set like this!"

For the first time all day and despite being surrounded on nearly every side by a pile of refuse that would have normally had him cringing, Jamie leaned back against the doorway and smiled at the sight of Eddie up to her knees in trash, but completely over the moon with the fact that they had their own house and all the little things that entailed even though most of them were currently covered in a thick layer of debris. "C'mon over here, lambchop," he sighed as he waded in himself and picked her up to carry her over to an almost bare spot before setting her down and seeking out her lips. "You are unbelievable, you know that? I love you Edit Katalin Janko soon-to-be Reagan," he murmured in her ear as they shared their first intimate kiss in a messy house that had suddenly become their home, all the while ignorant that it was in fact their own little new family group that faced the heaviest threat from an angry young man with piercing light blue eyes who had hitched a ride outside of the city before boarding a bus to take him back upstate and out of the Reagan's reach while he waited for things to cool back down again before he came back to finish what he had started and tear that little girl from the family of cops that had claimed her.

It was that fear of the unknown though that had Frank Reagan still pacing within his office for the whole of that afternoon as Eddie and Jamie continued in their cleanup efforts back in Bay Ridge while Danny was off to the 3-5 after picking up Maria and filling her in so they could speak to Renzulli to see if it was possible to ferret out any information on the identity of this man. Frank had prayed that his oldest and his partner would strike gold quickly so that he would not be forced to make an impossible decision once again as he remained completely conflicted about the way he should handle things with his youngest son when he returned home that night and already wondered if even this brief hesitation would prove to be his undoing no matter what he decided now. As Danny had said, keeping this information away from Jamie would be the easiest thing to do in the short term, but that had backfired in a big way once before and the consequences on either side could further tear their family apart.

It was at moments like this that he prayed his hardest to Mary Margaret and begged her for the strength and wisdom to do the right thing for one of their children.

* * *

 _What should Frank do? The easier thing or the hard one, and how will Jamie react when his father tries to sit him down later to talk given the fact that he is already angry with him? Where will Jamie, Eddie and Kaylin end up if the family home is deemed unsafe for them and will Danny actually do his own laundry? I hear that old soap opera intro theme "Like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives," running through my head right now. Lol._

 _Tomorrow's chapter will be a long, tough one but there was no good place to break it, consider it a **BONUS** day!_


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

The sound of single malt scotch splashing a generous two fingers into five tumblers was the only thing that broke the silence in the Reagan family home den as Frank sought a familiar source of courage before addressing what he feared would become a volatile situation. With Danny still on the hunt for Jayne's former lover and Kaylin's biological father, and considering the fact that he was sure his oldest's presence would have likely ignited things anyway given his objections to what he was about to do, Frank had instead called Erin over to act as a buffer and an advocate for her younger brother in the hopes that her usual calm counsel would keep Jamie in line. On her grandfather's request, Nicki had tagged along and now had Kaylin upstairs in her mother's old room with the music turned up while they were playing games and coloring so the little girl would not hear the things being said or the volume they might be uttered with.

"Any more of these family meetings and you're going to have to order another case of that, Francis," Henry chided as his attempt at humor fell completely flat and the tension in the room could not have been cut with a razor blade. No one had been informed as to what this might be about, but everyone could sense that it wasn't happy news. Jamie sat on the couch avoiding his father's eye while sandwiched between his sister and Eddie who had talked him into joining them in the first place and was now perched on the edge of her seat with a cold vice grip on his hand as she watched Frank close the doors to the room before bringing the glasses over and handing them out.

"What's this about, Dad?" Erin started as she took a sip from the heavy tumbler and rested her other hand protectively on Jamie's shoulder while he put his down on the table untouched. His big sister had not appreciated Linda's perceived attack on him on top of the terrible events of the week before and she was ready to bring out her own claws should someone dare come after him again while he was hurting. "Did you and Danny get a hit on those DNA results today?"

"We got a hit on a DNA profile, but it wasn't the one we were looking for," Frank advised as he was trying to stretch this news into smaller, more digestible segments so he could get the most information out before the inevitable shock and anger set in. "The lab was backed up with a computer down last week," he explained, trying to add a little fluff so that it did not come across as directly connected at first. "Mike Becker called with some results on a sample that went through today," he added as he sat down and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "He pulled it because he recognized the name," he explained. "Son, there's no easy way to say this, but there was a match to Kaylin's paternity panel."

"What?" Eddie squeaked as she was the only one capable of making a noise at that point while Jamie's eyes flashed over and made their first firm contact with Frank's for more than a week.

"Francis, what's this about?!" Henry demanded as he glanced nervously between the two of them.

"Apparently just after Kaylin was born, Jayne applied for a support order and a DNA test was done. The man listed wasn't a match, and she claimed not to know who the father was after that. This is the first hit to her they've had since."

"But the adoption is finalized," Erin added quickly as she felt her brother tense at this wholly unexpected news. "The father's rights would have been involuntarily terminated for abandonment, right? This man can't revoke consent at this point. Does he have to be informed?"

"We don't have to worry about that," Frank admitted as he chewed his lip nervously while looking for an opening to move forward. "This man did not give a voluntary sample, but it appears he already knows, or thinks he knows about her."

"Dad, what the hell are you getting at?!" Jamie finally barked as he was sensing they were getting the runaround now. "What do you know that you're not telling me?! She's _my_ daughter! And why would Mike call you about this and not me?" he asked since Michael Becker had been a close friend of his for years and a regular Thursday night basketball buddy.

Frank took a deep breath and prayed he was doing the right thing since it was too late to turn back now. "The DNA came from the eyeglass lens collected at the jogger's shooting scene, son. There were no hits in CODIS or any of the NYPD databases, but the hit came when Mike expanded to all state agencies, and that included a familial match to Kaylin's profile under CPS."

There was such utter silence from the four shocked faces staring back at him that Frank had plenty of time to wonder who would breathe first.

"So the man that's doing this is her real father?!" Eddie finally gasped and then instantly regretted her words; Jamie was Kaylin's father now and saying it that way was just wrong. "Her biological father I mean. That's why he's doing this? To what end? Who is he?"

"Her father," Jamie muttered as he broke free from the holds on him and got up to pace behind the couch as his mind behind whirling in fast forward. "He's here and trying to kill me? To get to her?! And he's screwed up twice! OH GOD!" he cried as the panic began to set into his chest as he looked through the glass doors towards the stairway, almost certain in his mind that he would see this man sneaking up the steps at that very minute trying to take his sweetness away. "Twice… that means he's not gonna stop then is he?" he stressed as he ran his fingers down his hair. "Why now?!" he demanded as he turned around to face his father once more. "HOW?! Do we know how he found her?"

"That Adams woman," Henry grumbled as he caught on. "Those damn articles in the papers."

"And the interview I did," Jamie ignored him and sighed with deep regret. "I did it… I brought this on her… on all of them because I'm the commish's kid… always gotta be a good Reagan… the press is demanding an interview, son..." he trailed off in a mocking deep voice as he resumed his pacing.

"Jamie, you did not bring this on yourself or anyone else!" Eddie insisted as she got up to give him a hug. "Please, please don't think that, baby," she begged as she wrapped her hands around his waist. "What does this mean for us?" she demanded as she turned back towards Frank. "How is he not in any of those other databases if he's capable of this? He's killed two people in cold blood and left Martin Rodgers paralyzed!"

"We don't know that right now… we have no way of knowing exactly who he is yet," Frank admitted. "It means though that to be safe until we find out we're going to have to move the three of you somewhere else… a place that can't be tracked under the Reagan name. It would be too easy for him to find you or Kaylin here. Danny is on the case. He's taken Renzulli with him upstate to try to track down who Jayne was with at the time the baby would have been conceived. They've been interviewing people this afternoon already. If we can figure that out…"

" _Renzulli?!"_ Jamie snapped over on that name as Eddie felt him stiffen and swing around to stare down at his father once more. "You told him? And Danny took _him_ upstate? They've been up there all afternoon? Just when did you find out about all of this?!"

"Your brother got the call just before lunch today," his father answered honestly as he sat back and took a sip of his scotch. _Here it comes,_ he grimaced with regret. Until right before he left his office today, Frank had resolved to keep this information away from his son to avoid just such a confrontation, but at the last minute he just couldn't bring himself to do it once more… to keep something like this from him even if it would have been easier and probably for his own good.

" _Before_ lunch," his youngest spat. "More than _seven_ hours ago… and his first call was to you, and then _Renzulli_ when it's _my_ daughter that's in danger?! No one thought to give poor Jamie a ring and clue me in? Maybe put me on the case too? If this had been Danny, you would have slapped him on the back and sent him along with a big atta boy..."

"Jamie, please," Erin begged as she sensed where this was going while Eddie could do nothing but try to hold him back. "Dad was just trying to…"

"PROTECT ME!" came the angry reply. "You weren't going to tell me any of this if you could help it were you?!" he demanded of his father as Frank watched silently while the hazel eyes pointed at him flashed over once again with a heavy Irish anger. "YOU HAD NO RIGHT! Just like the last time! You're afraid I'll go wander out in the street and get hit by a car, or maybe a bullet this time!"

"Jamie!" Eddie gasped once more as she continued to grip him around the waist, suddenly sure that he meant to do just that… to walk out of this house immediately and let the chips, or bullets as it were, fall as they may.

"Jamison, sit down son. We can talk about this…" Henry tried softly to interject some calm into his youngest grandson as he was fearing the same thing as all the others now, but Jamie was beyond that and only had eyes for Frank; no one else's words were breaking through at this point.

" _Toothpicks,"_ he spat. "I won't ever be anything more to you than that will I?" he continued to seethe as the tears began to well up but he angrily refused to let them fall. "Six years on the job and all I've done… not enough to prove _anything_ to you is it? Nothing ever will be… I'm still just the baby that needs to be looked after. Maybe it's not worth it to me so much anymore… your approval, you know?! Maybe I should just walk out of here right now and take my family and go do something else. You can have the good Reagan name back, DAD! It's not like it ever does me one bit of good, does it?!"

"You walk out of here, and it will be in handcuffs under protective custody," Frank replied flatly with a huge lump in his throat. The words Jamie had used had left a stinging mark, and they were not wholly untrue. Career-wise, certainly having the last name of the Police Commissioner had done him no favors, and if he felt the family had no respect for his abilities now... well then this looked like the last straw. There was the matter of this shooter right now though, and as torn as his relationship with his son had just become, Frank couldn't knowingly let harm come to him, Eddie or Kaylin no matter the cost. Once this situation was over he could work on… well maybe it was already too late for that given the look of the boy before him.

"Sir, yes sir," Jamie replied in an equally dull timbre. That was it… he had nothing left to offer. The fire had gone out of his eyes and the fight had left him, it was time for flight. "If that's what you need to do, Commissioner, you better have those cuffs warmed up when I get back downstairs. We'll be leaving as soon as we're packed. Anywhere is better than here, and in spite of what you all think I can take care of my own," he offered numbly before breaking out of Eddie's continued grasp and leaving the den to climb the stairs towards his old bedroom. Her stunned eyes turned back towards the rest of the Reagan family.

"Eddie, please sit," Henry begged as he leaned forward in his chair. "Don't let him do this sweetheart. We'll help you figure something out!"

"DAD!" Erin gasped as she turned to face her father while her eyes welled up. "Please! You can't! He'll never forgive you! We have to keep them safe, but not like this!" she cried as she got up. "I'll go talk to him! You can all stay with me until this is over!" she insisted as she quickly followed his path out of the room and upstairs.

"Why?" Eddie asked quietly with dazed and welling round doe eyes as she looked at the two remaining men in the room. "You asked me to trust you, Frank Reagan, but I don't understand!" she sobbed. "Out on the job, everyone looks up to Jamie and has confidence in him to make the right decisions, but here over something like this he gets treated as a child!" she added accusingly with her own blue eyes becoming fierce now as she sought to defend him. "He's always stood up for me, even to my own mother and I know I'm new and not a real part of your family yet... maybe it's not my place, but I won't stand by quietly and watch this anymore! I'm terrified for him… for Kaylin… but you're hurting him now as much as that man with the gun wants to! He told me he feels like he's suffocating here!... We're leaving," she added defiantly after a brief pause to let that sink in. "I can't lose his trust; you can put me in handcuffs too!"

"That won't be necessary, Edit," Frank replied wearily as he rubbed his head and cursed himself inwardly. "Please sit down and let's talk." This had become an unmitigated disaster as he had feared, but it was his own fault and there was no need to add another casualty to the list. Right now he was just trying to limit the collateral damage done, and that still included keeping them safe to the furthest extent his son would now allow.

"I don't know what I can do for you, sir," Eddie admitted as she rather sheepishly sat back down on the couch once she realized her Serbian temper had flared at not only Jamie's father, but the Police Commissioner and her ultimate boss as well.

"In this house, it's not sir and you are already family," he advised with a heavy heart. "I know I have no right to ask you this, but I will anyway. What happened here tonight… this was not Jamie's fault. His mother and I, we were always overprotective of him… the baby of the family. It was hard," he admitted as he cleared his tight throat trying to explain. "Mary so wanted to keep him… Please Eddie, I'm afraid that I've lost him now too," he admitted in a choking voice and for once at an almost complete loss for words.

"What Francis is trying to say is that we're afraid Jamie may make a rash decision to leave now, not just this house but the NYPD… maybe even the city over this, especially since there is a threat against Kaylin and he would put her safety over his own needs," Henry stepped in to explain sadly. "We know he's had plenty of offers from Spencer's firm in California over the years. Eddie, what we're asking is that you hold him here until this is settled… to give Francis and his son the opportunity to work this out. If he still wants to leave after that, then he'll have our blessing even though it would break this old man's heart," he teared up himself. "We love the three of you, sweetheart."

"He wouldn't…" Eddie started as she became further upset at the sight of the two emotional men in front of her… two father figures in a family she had come to love and respect over the course of the last year. "I don't want to leave here either," she whispered. "We're making a home together for our family now!"

"I know," Henry smiled. "My Betty would be so happy about that… having the two of you and that little girl in her house." He paused before offering, "I know that it's a far cry from being cleaned up and Jamie is fussy about things like that, but if anyone would check that property is still either listed in Ella's name or in an holding LLC that my accountant established for me. I don't think from the looks of him that this piece of garbage would be able to find you that way. You can stay there if you want. Please help us keep Jamie here so I can walk over there someday soon when this is over and visit my sweetie-pie Kaylin and those half-dozen other great-grand babies you've promised me. I'm too old now to fly across the country all the time to see them."

"I would be so grateful if you could look after my son and granddaughter, Eddie," Frank added roughly as he finally found his voice again. "If you need any help… please just ask me," he added. "I can keep a detail across the street for protection… for our peace of mind… You can call the shots with them, but please let me at least do that for now."

"Okay," she agreed with a deep breath after a few more moments of taking these shocking developments in. "I'll try," she offered before leaving to go upstairs after talking with them and sharing assurances for a few more minutes.

Meanwhile, Erin had cornered her little brother in his room and latched onto him while he let his emotions run out. His big sister had served as a surrogate mother over the past years and he was greatly in need of that comfort right now.

"It's okay, Jamie," she cajoled after a few minutes as she cried right along with him while they sat on the bed. "I'm so sorry this is all happening to you. Dad was just doing what he thought was right… he's scared for you like you're scared for Kaylin now… it just came out in all the wrong way."

"Did it?" he asked as he stared at the ground. "Or is it the way it will always be?"

"No, it doesn't have to," she assured. "This was a big moment and I know how much it is hurting your heart right now… his too, but this could change the way we all tend to look at things. I've been guilty of it, I know… we all have, but I promise to do my best to work on it now," she paused. "You can't get rid of us so easy… better the devil you know than the devil you don't, right?" she asked as she nudged him for a response and then continued when one was not forthcoming. "You'll always be my baby brother," she assured, "but you're a little girl's father now and about to be somebody's husband. I need to adjust my thinking and that's not so easy."

"I get that," he sniffled with an involuntary little smirk as he leaned gratefully up against her. "Nicki's in college, you could be a grandma soon."

"Jamison Reagan!" she exclaimed as she reached around to whack him with a pillow hard enough to poof some feathers out of it. "You take that back!" she demanded.

"Never," he laughed a little before growing serious. "I don't know what I'm gonna do, sis," he admitted sadly. "Nothing is the way it should be anymore… Why this is happening?"

"I don't know. This man… he's jealous? Angry? Crazy? Who knows why he's doing it, but you can't let this thing with Dad cloud your judgement… you have to focus on keeping yourself and your family safe, okay? I love you little brother, and I love my soon-to-be new sister-in-law and my gorgeous little baby niece too. You promise me that you're going to be smart and take care of everyone."

"Promise," he agreed, grateful that someone was finally acknowledging his role and abilities. They were still sitting there quietly next to each other on the bed when there was a soft knock at the door.

"Am I interrupting?" Eddie asked.

"Never, lambchop," came the sad, throaty reply. "We were just trying to figure out how I was going to unscrew this up."

"It's already settled. C'mon," she smiled sadly as she got her bag from the closet and started packing her clothes. "We're going home."

"To his apartment?" Erin fretted immediately. "No, Eddie… this man… he's been there after Jamie before. Please come with me," she urged them both as she was still hanging on her brother's arm. "My place is safer; there's a doorman and security. Please… you can all just stay inside there until this is over. Nicki is away at college so you can have her room. Danny will find this guy and then..."

"No," Eddie interrupted as she shook her head and started emptying drawers. "Thank you Erin, we really appreciate the offer, but you're a Reagan and easy-to-find one too, and we're going to _our_ home… it might be a mess right now, but it's where we belong… the three… or _four_ of us," she corrected with a tight grimace as she remembered her promise to Danny while Jamie's eyes rolled once more at that notion as he considered Erin's words about the devil you know. "Your father's agreed to keep a detail posted across the street in that vacant Cape Cod, but it's our choice to use them or not when we go out, okay? Please, Jamie," she begged him to accept this compromise since it moved them out from under the stress of Frank's direct eye. "It's the best for us. We'll be safe and can decide what to do from there ourselves. Danny will be around and that way you can work the case with him as you see fit, alright? They've promised… no more secrets."

"It's not safe… _physically_ safe for Kaylin there, Ed," Jamie frowned as he shook his head. "We can't have our baby girl living in that."

"It will be," she promised. "We'll be very careful with her and if I have to stay up for the next week straight to clean until my fingers fall off and shop online for stuff to make it homey for her, then that's what I'll do. Danny will help when he gets back. We'll concentrate on getting the living room and kitchen area clear and then just gate everything else off until we can manage it, okay? Another few hours and we can have that small spare bedroom upstairs cleaned out; we'll just share for now," she smiled, trying to encourage him.

"With my brother?" he asked incredulously. "You're serious?"

"Of course not, silly," she laughed and performed the involuntary perky Addison twitch while trying to lighten the mood. "I got the impression that Daniel Reagan would be happy with an air mattress thrown down in any corner we give him. "He's in charge of making his own spot when he gets back," she assured.

"He won't need to," Jamie frowned. "He can come stay here… there's lots of room now."

"It'll get straightened up twice as fast if he's with us since he can help you lift the heavy stuff," Eddie reminded, trying not to let on to the fact that she really wanted his brother there as an added layer of protection. "We'll worry about that later," she deflected when she saw that he remained starkly unimpressed with that line of thought. For now her only mission was to get him to agree to this so that things could cool down and be brought back to right as soon as possible. If Jamie ran like his father feared… well then the Reagan family might not ever truly be what it once was, and Eddie was determined to do her best to make sure that didn't happen. "Oh, and Pop will be stopping by a lot," she added, knowing that Jamie's rift was not with Henry and he had a special way with his youngest grandson so was the most likely person to be able to counsel him other than Eddie and Erin. "He said that wild horses won't keep him away from his little sweetie-pie, and not to even try it or we'll get evicted. I hope it was alright that I said okay," she smirked playfully as she zipped her suitcase shut.

"As if you could have said no," Jamie sighed with a small wry smile.

"Me too?" Erin begged softly as she hugged him harder. "How about a standing Tuesday mac-and-cheese night from Altson's? I'm buying!" she bribed with his favorite decadent baked takeout dish.

"Of course," he relented knowing that at this point he was likely to be smothered by the rest of the family anyway… all except one very important person downstairs that did not have an open-ended invitation any longer. "BYOC… please bring your own chair or be prepared to sit on the floor, if you can find it," he added as he gave into Eddie's grand plan and got up quietly to join her and gather his things as they prepared to leave.

Downstairs a pair of older men stayed silent as they reflected on what had just occurred, and the fact that another three seats at the Sunday dinner table would remain empty for at least the near term.

"Say it, Pop," Frank gruffed as he had remained stubbornly settled in the chair long after Eddie left them. "I know you've always wanted to. I was trying to honor Mary's wishes when this started. I tried to do the right thing today, but it was too late."

Henry straightened up a little as he stood and turned back around stiffly with his whiskey glass still in his hand; he had stayed beside him before finally getting up to make his way upstairs to hold his little great-granddaughter before she left. "You want me to say I told you so, Francis?" the older man looked at his own son with sympathy. "I won't do it. I wasn't in favor of what happened back then and you know damn well this started long before that night Mary died. She lived with the constant fear of losing Jamie from the moment she found out she was with child and it carried over to everything else his whole life; he's always had that shadow over him and we all had a hand in putting it there. Your mother made me keep the secret of Peter Christopher for all those years, to what end? I did it because I made a promise to the woman I loved just like you did, but what happened here today… that was your decision. If you don't see Jamie as being capable of handling himself the same way that Danny can… well maybe it's best then if he moves on. It's not fair to the boy anymore; it really never was."

"I made a big mistake today, Pop."

"Yes, you did," Henry advised sadly. "You were thinking with your heart as a father, but you forgot that Jamie is one now too. You don't have the right to make decisions like that for him anymore… none of us do, and you're gonna have to try to fix this when he's ready to listen. For now though, you can't do anything but make the harder choice of letting him go or you won't have a prayer of ever getting him back."

* * *

 _For more of the backstory on what happened when Jamie was born and why his mother was so overprotective, you can read the first three prologue chapters in the original "Snapshots" from the first series. Next up, we'll give Jamie a chance to cool off for a bit and find out how things are going with Danny and Renzulli upstate to see if they've had any luck finding Jared Quinlan who seems to have stumbled back to the hole in the ground he came from._


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

"I swear if I have to walk into one more of these dives I'm going to come away with a contact high," Daniel Reagan griped as he got back in the rental car and threw his little stack of grainy surveillance photos on the dash while Anthony Renzulli did the same and leaned back and rubbed his face. It was eleven o'clock at night and they had made exactly zero progress on coming up with any leads on who Jayne had been keeping for company back around the Christmas of 2012.

"You breathe in any more of that funny second-hand smoke and it won't be pretend," Tony agreed as he sat slumped in the passenger seat. "No one around here seems to remember last Tuesday, let alone who Jayne was hanging with more than three years ago, or who that bastard in those photos might be," he grumbled. "Damn kid, she was always in trouble, God rest her soul…" he trailed off. "What's next, detective? I don't think this is gonna do it."

"She was staying with the grandparents, right? What about them?" Danny pondered.

"Her Gram's dead, and the husband is in a home. He's in his nineties now. Doubt that would help. They thought she was a Sunday school choir girl that whole time and just let her run where she wanted anyway," Tony explained.

"Nosy neighbors?"

"Nah, they lived way out in the country… all their friends were up in age too. Besides, like I told you, they thought Jayne was an angel. Bill sent her up here to his parents when she started getting into trouble in the city, but he would have been better off keeping her closer to home."

"There's gotta be something!" Danny exclaimed as he slammed his hand down hard on the wheel in frustration. His earlier call to Frank to check in had revealed the extent of strife this was causing in the family and the fact that Jamie had walked out on his father's protection as Danny had feared was making him anxious to return home. "What about that guy that Jayne accused of being the father in the first place… the one that didn't come back as a DNA match. Where's he? If he's not the baby daddy, maybe he knows who is."

"Michael James Whistler. Currently serving a second stint for possession at Upstate Correctional in Franklin County," Renzulli revealed with a quick search on the tablet. "She sure could pick 'em. Could be worth a drive out there in the morning," he agreed with a tired sigh.

"Yeah," Danny muttered as he rubbed the back of his neck. "How about the crew Jayne was snagged with in that raid on the bar?" he wondered. "When she got dinged for possession with intent. That was at about the right time."

"Bill got it knocked down to a misdemeanor and probation to keep her out of prison once he found out his little girl was pregnant," the older man remembered. "They picked up more than twenty in the raid that night though, and double that when they connected all the dots. Half of 'em probably fit the description of a young skinny white guy with stringy brown hair and tats in this area. Besides, if he got convicted then he would have a DNA profile in the database, right? That All Crimes statute passed about then, didn't it?"

"Just after," Danny mused. "Possible the bastard got missed. It was just mandatory for Class A felonies and violent crimes before that. Maybe he copped to a lesser charge."

"So it could have been someone serving that just got released if he got tagged for something below that," Renzulli concluded. "Might explain why he's waited this long to come after the kid," he grimaced as he said that. "God, from the sound of it, Harvard's gonna be packing for me. I'll have to watch my own back when we go home. I hate that I had to be the one to piss him off like that."

"I'll clear it with him," Danny offered. "He knows it's all been dad's doing now. I don't think he's gonna be so focused on you anymore."

"That's good 'cause I ain't been sleeping right over all of this, you know?" Tony sighed. "I've been tight with your brother since that first tour. He's a good kid, and he bailed my ass out of a few things in the past he didn't have to. He shouldn't be going through this after saving that little girl like he did. It just ain't right. We gotta get this guy so him and Kaylin are safe."

"Well if he would just listen to us, he'd be a lot safer," Danny spat. "Freaking kid's gone off the reservation and taken Eddie and Kaylin with him."

"Maybe you need to stop thinking of him as a kid," Renzulli offered. "I mean I'm just sayin' that we all call him that but he's a damn fine cop now… he's come a long way. He can handle himself more than he gets credit for. I remember when Joe was helping him out with the application stuff for the academy when we were still riding together before he went to the warrant squad and passed. He told me Jamie was gonna be a natural. He was right."

"Joe? He helped Jamie with that _before_ he died?" Danny asked incredulously as he glanced over to see if his temporary partner was remembering right. The rest of the family had assumed that joining the academy had been a knee jerk reaction for the youngest sibling after his brother was killed.

"Yeah, you didn't know? Kid was planning to do it the year before… but after you lost your mom Joe kept his head on his shoulders and made him promise to see Harvard out so that he had a backup plan in case he needed a parachute from the job. He wanted to be a cop all along."

"He didn't tell us," Danny reported sadly. "I thought he just threw that all lawyer stuff away without thinking."

"Nope. Would have saved him from payin' back half of those student loans, but at least he's got the sheepskin, right?"

"Yeah, and now he might just be using it anyway," his older brother observed. "Dad said he threatened to walk away from the job tonight over this and do something else. That means he's got California on his mind… if he goes anywhere, it'll be there. He'd have a great big house on the beach too in a few years."

"Be a damn shame though," Renzulli agreed. "That's not what makes him happy."

Danny knew in his heart that was the truth and it was going to take a combined effort from all of them to turn things around now and convince Jamie to stay, especially if they didn't soon find this shooter and his little brother had any sense that Kaylin or Eddie were still in danger. He'd already gotten dressed down over the phone during an animated phone call from his sister after the three of them had left the home. "God, our whole family just fell apart in a week over this, didn't it?" he admitted, having already filled Tony in on his own current strife with Linda when he had asked how things were going. The former sergeant had a particular knack for reading people and he always gave good advice in that reference. The two already had a long talk about marriage on the chopper flight up.

"You'll put it all back together," Renzulli assured. "If there's one thing I know it's that the Reagans are too tight to ever let anything keep them apart for long. Like I told you before, I went through something like this with the missus once and we came out stronger on the other side. Linda and Adele are a lotta like… they just gotta know that us thick blockheads appreciate them and are willing to listen once in awhile, ya know? Start letting her call some of the shots and you'll be surprised how fast it can turn around. The two of you love each other and you've been through worse, and sometimes you do gotta put her before the job. There's always gonna be another case or another perp to run after. Find something she likes and it don't have to be nothing big… when I screwed up Adele always got another snow globe. She loves the damn things… they're all over the house now but they make her happy, so I ain't gonna complain."

"Linda loves her scrapbooks," Danny offered as he considered that point. "I hate the effing things… just don't see the point of memorializing every little moment in time."

"Daniel Reagan crafting… heh, I'd pay to see that, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do," Renzulli advised. "If that don't work I can put in a good word for you with Adele's quilting circle," he kidded. "What's say we hit that last little bar up the strip and then find someplace to catch some sleep. I think a visit to that prison might be the best next step and it's a two-hour drive; we should get an early start or we'll be up here all week and I'll need to do some shopping before my missus will let me back in the house," he laughed.

###

"I'm telling you for the last time, I don't know who else Jayne was sleeping with!" Michael James Whistler growled as Danny and Renzulli worked on him in an interrogation room at Upstate Correctional the following morning. "Little bitch thought I was the father, didn't she? If she didn't know, how would I? She wasn't nothing to me… only looked me up when she was short and needed to trade a round in the sack for her next score. Probably did the same to a dozen other guys."

"Hey, watch your mouth you mutt!" Renzulli barked at him.

"What's she to you?" Whistler snapped back. "Or did she like them old and round, too? She hit you up for the money doughboy? Make you feel real nice?"

"Easy Sarge," Danny advised as stepped in front of Renzulli while he forgot himself and slipped back into a familiar banter. "C'mon Mikey," he prodded as he turned his attention back to the prisoner. "You know this guy… all of you ran in the same rat holes. Around Christmas right before that big bust at the bar in Oswego county when you got tagged the first time before you moved your operation up this way."

"Brown hair, medium build and tatted up," their uncooperative companion spat. "Looks like a big blur," he snarked as he scanned the surveillance photos again. "Could be my grandmother."

"He'd also likely have blue eyes and bad vision," Danny added, knowing that Kaylin's brilliant light blue eyes were generally recessive and the father probably would have displayed them since Jayne's were more of a normal color. Both men could instantly see Whistler jump with recognition as a small smile spread across his face.

"What's in it for me?" he prodded.

"Our everlasting love and admiration, you piece of crud!" Danny snarled as he approached the table and leaned both hands on it to give his best patented Henry Reagan stare as he sensed that they were finally on to something. Unfortunately the long-time criminal was unimpressed.

"Not good enough," he smirked, sure that he had them over a barrel now.

"We're NYPD," Renzulli gruffed. "We ain't got no pull with the prosecutor up here in Franklin."

"Well then you better find some," Whistler smiled as he sat back and put his hands behind his head. "I know who your boy is now, but I ain't saying nothing until I've got some kinda signed deal on the table to get me out of this place."

"Terrific," Danny muttered as he gathered up his files and prepared to leave the room, ready to pull whatever stops needed to get this guy to open up and give them a name. "Sit tight and I'll see what we can do," he advised as they walked out while Michael James Whistler did just that and left them with a merry tune from his lips before the door slammed shut.

Six phone calls later and Renzulli was fairly certain that Danny was going to stroke out before he ever got a chance to hear Whistler's information as the detective was pacing madly up and down the hall in a heavy conversation with a stubborn Franklin County ADA. "You do realize that we're talking about a cop-killer here!" he argued. "This Whistler guy's just six months short of serving his full sentence. He's already on his second strike… one more and he's going away for good anyway. Give him a deal and I will personally come back up here on my own time and sit on his ass until he screws up again and he'll be off the street for good... You do know what my last name is, right?... Yeah, well I can make some phone calls too!... DAMN IT!" Danny bellowed as he was tempted to throw the phone on the floor. "He hung up on me! Said he's running for judge next year and can't afford to be seen as soft on crime! I don't have time for this back and forth political crap! This could take days even with Dad's pull!"

"Maybe we don't need him," Renzulli advised. "What if we took a look at the list of arrests from that raid again? Twelve guys fit the profile, right? But we can rule out the ones that already have DNA on file because they never matched to Kaylin… that ought to narrow it down, then just look for the blue eyes… or check the prison records for eye problems. They all get a basic physical in and out… something like that would show up, right?"

"That's not a hundred percent on the eye color though, I checked with the M.E. back in the city… highly probable she said. We could miss the bastard if we count on that. He's been lucky with everything else."

"No way. Whistler jumped when you mentioned bad blue eyes and Rodgers said the same. This skell's gotta have them Danny, and like you said they all ran in the same rat holes…"

Renzulli's intuition turned out to be golden in short order.

"Jared Marcus Quinlan," Danny sneered as he threw down an enlarged mugshot photo on the table in front of Michael Whistler two hours later and watched the convict's face fall as he realized his ace in the hole had just been exposed and he wasn't going to get anything out of this. It was the only confirmation that the seasoned detective needed to know he was right on the money. "Should have told me in the first place, Mikey…" Danny advised as he stalked around the room with an air of self satisfaction. "I could have put in a good word for you with the DA's office, but now I'll just tell them you were uncooperative with helping me find a cop-killer!" he added as he slammed his hand down on the table to make Whistler jump. "And this is personal to me, so I'll be sure to have your name flagged if you don't help us now. You ever pop up in the system again and my first phone call is gonna be to whatever prosecutor you draw and I will explain to them in fine detail just exactly what kind of piece of dirty crud you are!" he promised.

"What do you want now?" Whistler frowned as he tipped his seat forward and lost all humor. "You got the name; you know he was in here right down the cell block from me until he got released a couple of weeks ago. I ain't got nothing else for you."

"Where would he go for a car or gun and money?" Danny demanded as he searched for information. Having the name wasn't going to help them one bit if they couldn't locate the body that went with it, and fast before he came at Jamie again.

"Quinlan… he's an unforgiving bastard," Whistler revealed. "He ever finds out I helped you and I might as well off myself so it's a nice clean kill and save him the trouble."

"WHERE?!" Danny roared as he did his best to portray a profile that was even scarier than that.

"Brewster, out by the airport," the convict finally relented, fairly certain that he was looking at a potential beat down either way this went. "There's a bar off Linden Street… The Seven Dogs I think it's called. His uncle owns the place, but you didn't hear that from me, right?" he added hopefully as Danny and Renzulli prepared to take their leave once more.

"No, we got nothing from you dirtbag," Tony offered before the door slammed shut and he hurried after the rapidly departing shadow of Daniel Reagan.

* * *

 _Yes, you can all thank lawslave for the visual of Daniel Reagan crafting in an effort to get Linda back, although we both concur he will probably need a little artistic guidance from Eddie and perhaps some further inspiration from a dearly departed grandmother along the way. As a strict Irish Catholic, Betty surely would not be happy with how her grandson is handling this bump in the marriage and he's about to find himself staying in her house, hmm. Speaking of the house, next we are back to the city to see how Jamie and Eddie are adjusting as the cleanup efforts progress, plus they might just get another unexpected visit from Bear… er, Marvin, who seems rather determined himself to become a Reagan._


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Eddie Janko was hopeful as she stirred in the early morning hours that Wednesday when she felt the warmth of another body in bed with her, but a probing touch in the dark revealed only the softly snoring little supernova heat generating body of Kaylin lying next to her. A certain little girl had become anxious with another abrupt move and was taking full advantage of the fact there was only one available bed for some extended snuggling time. Jamie was MIA again as he had been for the past two nights. A glance at the clock showed it to be 4:45 in the morning.

Ticked with concern and unable to go back to sleep now, Eddie fished her slippers out from under the bed and paused to tuck pillows around the little welcome invader to anchor her before making her way down the stairs to find Jamie sitting on a stool and lying face down on the counter of the breakfast bar where he had finally collapsed after another marathon nightly cleaning session. He had been driving himself in this manner for the past two days, choosing to sleep only in fitful naps during the day while Eddie was awake and alert. She was worried though with the roofers expected arrival later in the morning that he would be unable to rest at all and planned to talk to him about taking an escort from the detail back to the apartment to gather some more of their own things to bring back. Kaylin was missing her favorite shows, so the tv was a must as well as getting the cable and Internet turned back on here to keep the active-minded toddler preoccupied while they were still sequestered inside all the time.

A soft scratching drew her attention to the patio door, and she sighed. The cat was back once more and begging to come in. Against her better judgment, she nudged Jamie to see what he wanted to do about it given the showdown the last time the two had met.

"Jamie, wake up… he's back," she whispered and then immediately regretted that choice of words as he jumped to his feet in a panic, throwing himself in front of her and drawing the off duty glock he had continuously holstered to his belt expecting this Jared Quinlan, whoever he was, to be coming in the door with a gun leveled on them. What he saw instead was an unamused black striated face with a pair of glowing green eyes demanding entry.

"Oh, Christ you've got to be kidding," he huffed as he leaned back up against the counter with his hand over his chest and tried to quell his racing heart and catch his breath. " _Please_ don't do that to me again," he begged softly as she reached up on her tippy toes to give him a good morning hug and kiss while worriedly noting the thickening dark circles under his eyes.

"I promise, but what do we do about good old Marvin out there?" she nodded back towards the door as another knock came, more insistent this time with an obvious determination not to be ignored.

"Janko, if we keep letting him back in and feeding him, he'll never stay away!" Jamie griped. "He doesn't belong here! He needs to go back to his own home and figure out how to live there! Plus, you're the one that hates cats!" he reminded. "Besides, if Kaylin sees him we're gonna have to explain that he's not ours and go through the whole discussion of why she can't have a little pet duckling living in the bathroom tub upstairs like the McPhersons have in the pond at their place."

"Yeah, well you have to admit she made a pretty damn good argument for that and you're the one that took her up there to feed a whole flock of them, and wasn't it _you_ that stuffed the cat full of tuna last time he was here to get him to like you? That other family has kids too… if we don't take him back he could get lost or smooshed on the street. I can't take that kind of guilt. Let him in and we can run him home later."

"Yes, dear," he sighed as he unlocked the door to swing it open. Marvin immediately strolled in like he owned the place with what could only be described as a self-satisfied swagger before bounding up to his favorite perch above the refrigerator as his tail started to twitch rhythmically and a deep rumbling purr began to vibrate across the room. "By all means, make yourself comfortable," Jamie muttered with a frown as his once fierce adversary paid him no mind this time.

"So what did you accomplish last night?" Eddie prodded, noting another large pile ready to go out to the dumpster which already needed to be emptied that morning.

"Back hallway and closet," he moaned as he took his seat once more and put his head down on the counter… it was the only thing that could truly be called sanitized in the house at the moment and it drew him magnetically back as a source of comfort. "One hundred and sixty-seven empty unused pizza boxes," he revealed in wonder. "She had one hundred and sixty-seven pizza boxes stuffed in there. I counted. Where would she even get those? What, you get a pie delivered and then an empty box on the side? I don't understand… thank God there are no bugs…" he trailed off with a shudder.

"Pop said Mrs. Peterson would order half a turkey club sandwich every day from Mario's up the street and have it wrapped separately and demand they give her a box too. She was a nutty old hen there at the end," she admitted as she surveyed the area to note the progress that had been made. True to her intentions they had managed to strip most of the living room and kitchen now down to the bare wood floors in addition to the little bedroom upstairs which Jamie had squeamishly consented to using only after the matress on the poster bed they unearthed had been thoroughly examined for bedbugs even though it was still wrapped as new in a thick plastic cover before adding their own sheets and blankets. "Suppose that can happen when you're sick and lonely with no family around to care for you."

"I guess," came the muffled defeated reply.

"Your dad left a message that it looks like the cops up in Brewster will be hitting that bar tonight. Maybe Danny and Renzulli will get lucky and find somebody to roll over on where this Quinlan guy is now," she added hopefully, trying to emphasize the fact that his father was making sure they were updated regularly and kept in the loop. At least there was a name with a face now although precious little to go on regarding his current whereabouts.

"Maybe," he added flatly with apathy. No need to go any further down that dead end road at the moment as he was still wholly uninterested in any kind of reconciliation attempt and the anger at Frank had flashed over but still lay smoldering just under the surface. Perhaps there would be progress after his next meeting with Dr. Meherin the following morning. Eddie wished now that she could sit in on one of those sessions to get the ball rolling but she knew that was out of the question and had to trust that the good doctor knew what she was doing.

"Why don't you go upstairs and get a few hours of shuteye cuddling with sweetness until she gets up?" she offered instead. "I'm awake now. We'll get out of here later and take the cat home when the roofers come. I'll text Mrs. Gaye and let her know he showed up here again. I thought we'd ask the detail to drive us back to the apartment so we're away when the noise starts and we can spend the day packing up over there and bring some stuff back with us," she informed him as she ticked off the day's itinerary. "We should probably try to put the rest in storage until we have a place for it here so you can give up the lease at the end of the month and save the rent money."

"'Kay," he replied generically again without lifting his head, thoroughly exhausted and stressed to his breaking point while he uncharacteristically let her make all the plans without offering any input. At this point the minor clutter still waiting at the apartment would feel like it was heaven sent oasis of clean white space. No doubt he would be hypervigilant as he watched over his family once more tonight, but for now he was content to let her call the shots.

Eddie frowned when he made no effort to move and go up the stairs and a quick glance up at Marvin staring down at them from his hideout near the ceiling showed that he was not going to be of any help. "You can sleep in your own bed when we get over there if you want today," she sighed. "Jamison Reagan, you look like hell."

"M'm fine."

As it turned out though, he wasn't the only Reagan in a near stupor after a few nights devoid of any sleep.

###

"Francis Reagan, you look like hell," Henry admonished as his son shuffled into the kitchen later that same morning looking very much like someone else a few blocks up the way. "You can't go into the office today like that!"

"I'm fine."

"Hmph," came the expected gruff reply as the next page of the newspaper flipped since his father was generally unimpressed with that typical canned Reagan family statement. "Could have fooled me. You sound just like someone else I know; bet he looks the same or worse today."

Frank paused at the counter before pouring his coffee and pursed his lips with heavy regret when he considered that fact… this exile from his youngest son had been weighing on him like a choking avalanche since the moment Jamie, Eddie and Kaylin had walked out the door. "I still have some things to take care of for Danny to make sure that Brewster raid goes down tonight, Pop," he explained. "The wheels of justice seem to grind pretty slowly up there in the great north without a lot of added grease, even when there's something like this at stake."

"And what are you going to do if nothing comes of it? If Danny and Renzulli don't get a lead on where to find this Jared Quinlan? You may have burned your last chance to find him," Henry advised. "They should have staked out that bar to see if he'd show again."

"We don't have that kind of time, Pop. If nothing comes of the raid, Garrett is ready to send this perp's photo viral through all the news cycles tomorrow. We'll smoke him out that way… post a high reward for information leading to the arrest… someone will spot him."

"He'll either go back into that dark hole he crawled out of or you're gonna send him right back down here to try to finish the job first," Henry insisted as he closed the paper and put it down on the table.

"We'll be ready either way," Frank assured as he stirred the creamer in his cup. "Danny will be coming back tonight to stay with them if there aren't any strong leads up there. Baez has had the task force combing through the city looking for him down here. They found the hotel he was staying at last week… he left all kinds of printouts of those news stories from the fall behind in the trash. Based on the dates, it seems like he was searching for Jayne when he got out on parole and those are what popped up first. He had pictures of Jamie too, Pop… ones TARU said he looked up at the free library on Basin street _after_ Carson and Rodgers were shot."

"I guess we have to be thankful he's not a mental giant," Henry sighed. "He didn't even bother to spot his target first. Where on earth did Kaylin get it from, then? That little angel is smart as a whip and yet her biological parents… dumber than rocks… couldn't get a spark if you rubbed the two of them together. Wonder what she'll think of that when she grows up and asks," he added sadly. "Two drug dealers and a father that's a cop killer, and she's being brought up in a family of blue bloods now."

"She might not have to know about Quinlan… Mike pulled those results before they were attached to her profile… officially they could get lost and go away," Frank hedged as he sought in his heart to protect his little innocent granddaughter and then immediately regretted those thoughts as they were the very root of the problems he was currently having with his own son.

"The Irish and their secrets," Henry tutted. "No, not this time. I don't think Jamie will have it that way as hard as it would be for him to talk about it with her. It'll come out in court one day anyway."

"If we get to court, Pop," Frank worried. "Somehow I don't get the impression that this son of a bitch will be willing to go down for what he's done quietly."

"Well it's something you'll need to talk to your son about when the two of you have patched things up. C'mon," he encouraged as he read Frank's dropped expression. "He'll come around, Francis. I know he will. The Reagans, we're passionate… we punch walls, we throw a few back, we howl at the moon, but when it's over… it's over."

"Jamie's not like that, Pop."

"No, he's more of a damn Reilly like you… a stoic," Henry agreed. "Say what you will, but I never knew a Reagan to take a heart attack. Reillys… all that holding it in, sooner or later you're going to explode… they're like a ticking time bombs. Now Eddie told me they're taking the detail over to the apartment this morning to do some packing while the roof is being worked on. Drop me off there on the way into the office, and I'll work on the boy to soften him up a little. You got something you want me to tell him?"

There was a heavy pause before he heard a reply.

"Just tell him I love him, Pop… we'll leave it at that for now."

###

"Pop Pop!" Kaylin shouted as Henry was cleared to enter the apartment and he laughed as the little girl ran over to him and hugged his leg.

"Ah, there's my girl," he smiled as he reached down to hug her. "And here's a little something from your grandpa," he added as he rattled a little white paper bag from Wilder's Bakery. "Somebody's got their favorite cookies in here."

"Yay!" the little girl cried as she ran over to the table. "P'ease Eddie bear! Can I…?"

"May I," she corrected.

"May I eat 'm now, _p'ease!"_

"Of course, baby," Eddie smiled as she picked the toddler up and put her in a chair. "Just two though so you don't get a tummy ache or full before lunch, okay? Let's save some for later and at least one for your daddy," she added before retrieving some freshly made ice tea from the refrigerator. "Can I get you something, Pop?"

"Nah, got everything I need," he smiled and gave her a hug. "Jamie here?"

"Sleeping," she confirmed. "He's happy to be back in his own bed for a few hours… he really needed it. With everything that's been happening, you know… he's been staying up all night, and it's been hard for him to relax at all."

"Well, I have the exact same thing back at the house," Henry huffed. "Like father, like son. I don't suppose he's ready to sit down with Francis and hash this out yet, is he?"

"I don't think so," she confirmed sadly as she continued to gather up things to take back with them to the house, including the all-important wedding binder since much of the planning had been halted abruptly the week before and there were still the pressing matters of the dress and flowers to resolve. "It feels like months since the biggest decision I was looking at was which dress to pick and if the girls' bouquets would be deep orange and purple with 'the textures of the seeded eucalyptus, scabiosa stellata, yarrow and hypericum,'" she quoted from the florist's notes before slamming the folder shut. "Eucalyptus seeds… that's what I was worried about, not some crazy lunatic trying to take Jamie and Kay…" she paused before she went any further in the little girl's earshot while she teared up and let them fall once more. "Oh, Pop! I don't think I can take much more either!" she cried softly. "What will we do if he's not caught soon?" she whispered fiercely. "All of our plans… our jobs… our family… we can't go on hiding like this!"

"Francis and Danny won't let that happen, okay sweetheart?" Henry assured as he walked her over to the couch and offered his shoulder to cry on as he wrapped an arm around her. "And neither will I... you have my word on that. There's no hole deep enough for this scum to crawl into that we won't find him, you just need to have a little faith right now."

"Ed, are you okay? I heard voices," Jamie padded out of the bedroom while sleepily rubbing his bloodshot eyes. "Oh, hey, Pop," he greeted his grandfather with a little surprise. "Guess you've been sent to test the waters, huh?" he sighed as he collapsed in a still-exhausted heap in the adjacent chair.

"I came to deliver some cookies and see my sweetie-pie, Jamison," Henry admonished. "Your father had no hand in it except to drop me off here on his way into the office. They're still working to coordinate that bust on the uncle's bar tonight," he added.

"Good for them," Jamie snarked a little as he got up and made his way into the kitchen for a drink of water, sighing when he opened the cupboard only to find that Eddie had packed up the remaining glassware already. Irritated, he slammed the door back shut a little harder than he intended to… absolutely nothing was proving easy lately and the simplest tasks now required thought and redirection as it felt like his whole normally ordered life was in complete chaos now. He pulled a dirty coffee mug out of the sink and rinsed it out to use instead.

"Your father does have a message for you," Henry revealed as he sensed that the boy wasn't ready to listen to much more right now. "He said to just tell you he loves you," he offered as he watched Jamie slump forward and lean heavily on the counter with that revelation before offering his own choking reply.

"Just tell him I love him too, Pop… and we'll leave it at that for now."

* * *

 _So the rifts remain on all fronts in the Reagan household at this point as Danny and Renzulli close in on Jared's uncle Wayne and it won't be hard to see that rotten apple didn't fall far from the tree. Next, we find out what happens with the raid at the bar, and if that gets the investigation any closer to locating Quinlan, plus we have the start of some memorable scenes of brotherly hijinks when Danny joins Eddie and Jamie at their home for a few rounds of three's company. On top of that, Marvin/Bear returns yet again and he won't be happy with the unknown that has decided to invade his space; cue the showdown music._


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

"I ain't done nothin' wrong!" the old sickly looking man insisted as he sat at yet another interrogation table, this time late at night that Wednesday in a small, local police department inside the tiny town of Brewster, approximately forty-five minutes farther west from the upstate area Jayne had been known to troll. It had taken Danny and his father over a day to coordinate with local officials and get them to serve a search warrant on the bar. "You damn cops had no right to come in and bust up my place like that," he griped. "I'm gonna sue all of you!"

"Yeah, we've heard that before," Renzulli advised as he and Danny settled into one more round of tag team the perp. "But you've got yourself a big problem here, Wayne. See you've listed an old Magnum .357 as registered to your business, and we didn't find one when we combed through the bar or that special hellhole of an apartment you live in above it."

"That gun got stolen out from under the cash register years ago," uncle Wayne Quinlan, asserted. "I ain't seen the damn thing in years."

"I bet," Renzulli continued. "Also got reports of a black two-door Mercury that used to sit in the parking lot out back for a time. That seems to have disappeared as well."

"Don't know nothin' about that," the older man asserted. "Wasn't my car."

"Yeah? That's too bad there Wayne, because we tied them both to those two cops that got shot down in the city last week. You hear about that? One of them died, Wayne… the other paralyzed from the waist down by that sack of crap you call a nephew. Then he hit another innocent bystander with a different gun, a 9 mil. Wonder where he got that?"

"I wouldn't know, haven't seen the boy in years," Wayne asserted with a small smirk.

"That so?" Renzulli pondered. "Funny we've got you talking to him on your own surveillance footage from the bar just two days before that tragedy happened to a couple of my brothers in blue back in my home town… _capice?_ " he added as he watched the man's expression fall. "Damn that technology, right? Conspiracy to commit the murder of a law enforcement officer is a big boy crime and one we tend to take kind personal, you know? You can kiss off seeing the light of day from outside your prison cell until they pull your body out in a bag after you die in there. Maximum life without the possibility of patrol, and that's not in some cushy hometown jail like this. You'll be lucky to last a year and it won't be no picnic."

"Where is he?" Danny interjected as he joined the conversation to press for information. "The only way you help yourself in any of this Wayne, is if you give up Jared right now otherwise we walk out that door and you'll rot in a cold cell."

"Don't matter," the old man sneered. "I got terminal cancer. Liver. I got three months if I'm lucky. May as well be in a prison hospital bed sucking up some of that taxpayer money and getting three squares. I ain't talking no more," he added as he sat back and smiled. "I want my paid-for lawyer too."

"So that's it," Danny grimaced to Renzulli as the strain on his face was evident when they paused to regroup in the hall. "This guy's in the wind now. We've got no leverage on the uncle and Jared will have heard about this and stay low. He could be back up here in this god-forsaken area or still in the city and sitting across from my little brother's house just waiting until things die down before he takes another run at Jamie or goes for Kaylin. It's gotta be her he wants right?"

"Yeah, everyone we've interviewed about him says he's extremely possessive and hates cops. Probably eating him alive to see that little girl growing up in a family of them. I don't think he's looking to play daddy."

"Which makes him twice as dangerous," Danny agreed while shaking his head and wondering how that news was gonna hit the fan at home as his father had made him promise no more secrets. "C'mon. I think it's time we get back; we've done all we can up here. At least we know who we're looking for and where he got one of the guns and the car, plus some cash. Let's hope he slips up dealing again if the money is dried up. Meantime I've gotta go face off with my little brother and tell him what's going on… not to mention get back on track with Linda and the boys," he uttered in near defeat at the enormity of those two tasks alone.

"You're really gonna go stay under the same roof with him after all that's happened?"

"Yeah, I really am," Danny admitted with a small frown. "I've gotta keep an eye on them, whether he likes it or not... I promised my sister. Not exactly sure how I'll manage to pull that off without the two of us going at it, but hopefully Eddie's a good referee."

"One thing else we do know," Renzulli added as he looked back through the window into the interrogation room while the old man was still laughing at them before they started walking out down the hallway. "Kaylin really hit the jackpot with what good could come out of this genetic cesspool. She must have used up their whole quota of smart genes. Hey, that reminds me… I gotta stop at the airport gift shop first and get something for Adele. You want me to pick up some glue sticks and crayons, for ya? Maybe that little girl can help you with Linda's book," he snickered as the two walked out towards the front of the station.

"Ahh… crap," Danny muttered. "Why not? What have I got to lose?"

###

"Do we really have to do this?" Jamie griped as Eddie had reappeared downstairs after midnight and was busy inflating the air mattress they'd retrieved from the apartment with an insanely irritating high-pitched noisy air pump. "It's ridiculous for him to come here now, he's not going to be in until like two o'clock!" he complained as a text had informed them that no solid leads had been garnered from the raid on the bar in Brewster, and that meant Daniel Reagan was winging his way home via state police helicopter at that very moment. The latter news combined with the fact that the current whereabouts of Jared Quinlan were still unknown had left Jamie on edge again, and that coupled with his brother's early morning anticipated return had ratcheted up his anxiety level once more, leaving him in an unfortunate and vulnerable state considering he was due for his next follow up appointment with Dr. Meherin in just a few hours.

"Danny's gonna be tired after being on the road upstate all week and flying in here late," she admonished as she patiently watched the bed fill up slowly, paying no mind to the staggering decibel level of the little machine attached to it. "It's not like he's gonna be waking you up anyway. We have to have a bed ready for him to sleep on, right? Do you know if he likes it soft or extra firm?" she wondered as she poked it to test the comfort level. "I've got some of that leftover mac and cheese that your sister brought I can warm up for him too. He'll probably be hungry after a long night."

"Janko, if we keep letting him back in and feeding him, he'll never stay away!" Jamie griped. "He doesn't belong here! He needs to go back to his own home and figure out how to live there!"

She shook her head at that familiar logic used just that morning for Marvin the kitty who had once again been lured into a box and returned to his adopted home six blocks up on Harbor View although the family there had seemed less amused by his antics this time. "He's not a stray cat," she insisted. "Danny's family. He needs our help right now," before muttering under her breath, "and we need his."

"I'd rather keep the damn cat!" Jamie countered. "He's less likely to have an accident in the house!"

"Jamie, please," Eddie sighed as she finished inflating the bed and mercifully unplugged the compressor before pulling a set of clean sheets out and preparing to make it up as his ears were still ringing. "Now promise me no more cleaning for the rest of the night after he gets here. Let him have some peace and quiet and you need to get some sleep too… you have that appointment at eight. _Please_ come to bed with me for a few hours," she begged. "I miss being next to you… and the other stuff, too," she added suggestively as she batted her baby blues at him.

"Seriously, you're thinking of _that_ and moving my brother into the house in practically the same sentence!" he replied back, flabbergasted. "Eddie you've never lived with him before. God! You have NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE!" he huffed.

"Well it hasn't exactly been a picnic staying here with you lately either!" she bit back, now thoroughly frustrated with the obvious direction this was taking. "He's got nowhere else to go! Jamie, he's family!"

"And just what part of the ten damn square feet of living space we've been able to clear is he gonna stay in? The living room? Just be prepared to cover your eyes if you wander down here for a glass of milk late at night because Danny didn't just learn about going commando when he enlisted in the Marines you know!"

"I'm going back to bed so we can stop this now," she grumped as she gathered up her loose items and stood up with a glare right back at him. "I take it you'll just be staying downstairs the rest of the night and working yourself into a further fit over this. Tell Danny I said 'welcome home' when he gets here!" she spat before turning heel in her ridiculously fluffy white slippers and marching back up the steps.

"Perfect, JUST GODDAMN PERFECT!" Jamie berated himself after she disappeared. Frustrated, he wandered back to his favored seat at the breakfast bar and angrily plopped down on a stool while holding his head in his hands. Everything was so messed up now, he didn't know what direction was up anymore and it seemed like at every turn there was more bad news. With nothing solid discovered on Quinlan's location in the raid, this siege could stretch on for weeks or months and wind up tearing apart every single seam in his family while the pressure he felt to keep Eddie and Kaylin safe just continued to mount. He'd already called his friend David over at TARU to come and install a state-of-the-art surveillance system here at the house that coming weekend as these nightly watches could not go on forever themselves, yet he could not bear to lay his head down with no one on continuous guard. At this point he just wished he could make everything disappear.

With no willpower left within to address one more single solitary piece of trash still taunting him from nearly every corner of the house, he pulled out the laptop they'd brought back from the apartment and connected to the hotspot on his phone to download and sort through more than a week's worth of emails… at least if nothing else he could get his inbox back in order while he waited for big brother to make an appearance. He frowned as several hundred messages trickled in before the junk filters kicked on. A few minutes of clicking and deleting through the rest later and his tired eyes lit on an unexpected one that had been sent earlier in the day from the head of the human resources department at Sevinnova Ventures in San Diego, California... Spencer's firm. Jamie had met with William Matterson at some point or another during each and every jaunt he'd made to California to visit his old college roommate… including during the recent engagement trip over the holidays when he had proposed to Eddie. Matterson was a noted headhunter that was not known for easily giving up on his quarry and he'd had his sights set on Jamie for years.

 _Dear Jamison,_ it read. _It was so good to see you again over the holidays! This is more than my usual quarterly pitch to try to tempt you into joining us out here in sunny San Diego! Due to an unexpected event we have an immediate opening for a top corporate law specialist in our legal department and I immediately thought of you…_

Jamie's eyes quickly skimmed along the rest of the body of the email detailing the specifics until he reached the bottom where the initial salary offer was listed.

He blinked.

"Whoa," he muttered as he rubbed his tired eyes to make sure he had just read that right and it was not a by-product of his overtaxed and stressed mind. He reviewed the email once again with sharp intent this time, and unlike every previous proposal this one resounded as being a life-changer. A higher-level starting position like this would afford his family a life that they would never be able to imagine on a pair of NYPD salaries. Eddie could be safe at home with Kaylin and those other half-dozen great-grandbabies that Henry kept professing about while his threatened little girl could disappear without a virtual trace from the world in which her murdering bio dad was now hunting them in. Hell, Pop could have his own grandparent's suite and stay with them over the cold weather months as he had recently been making noise about that as the previous winter's bitter cold that had gripped the North East had really worn on him.

It would also remove him from a setting in which Francis Xavier Reagan had any kind of say in whether his youngest son was fit for duty or not while making Eva Janko happier about the life her daughter would have and succeed in moving them the entire width of the country from her all at the same time. Danny could have the damn house here to himself if he wasn't able to patch things up with Linda.

"Win, win, win, win…" he muttered as he had never been so tempted before to fire back an instantaneous acceptance to be followed closely by a second communication to the office of the NYPD Police Commissioner to offer his letter of resignation, effective immediately.

The only thing that stopped his fingers from flying across the keyboard to do those two very things was the echo in his head of those ridiculously fluffy white slippers that had just stomped back up the steps. _A decision like this would require a little finesse before she'd accept it and say yes,_ he reasoned while knowing Eddie's propensity for being stubbornly focused on intangible things like the fact that this city contained her favorite food stops and that she was already attached to the romantic notion of restoring this house.

Still it did not prevent him from sending a carefully crafted reply back to Matterson noting his interest and requesting a meeting out in the Carlsbad area of the golden state at his earliest convenience. An almost immediate reply back offered to pay for flights out and top-class lodging for the three of them starting on Monday if at all possible.

The rest of the time waiting for his brother to arrive was spent researching the pricing and availability of one-way first class plane tickets for three from New York City to San Diego for the following week as well as openings at nearby storage facilities to move their things to in the meantime until transport could be arranged.

As his family had feared, Jamison Reagan was indeed getting ready to run, and he was highly motivated to do just that right now.

###

Daniel Reagan thought he was imagining things at first as he was slowly awakened out of a dead sleep while he became aware of a deep, throaty growl emanating from somewhere close by in the early morning hour as he was lying exposed on an air mattress in the middle of the living room at his grandfather's old house. Without opening his eyes, his hand began to almost imperceptibly inch closer to where he had left his holstered gun nearby until even that slight motion provoked an uptick of tempo and clarity from whatever beast was now sharing the space with him.

Slitting his eyes open in the barely evident light of the coming dawn that was now filtering in from the windows, Danny was shocked to see a pair of angry flashing green iridescent eyes staring down at him from above with utter intent from a perch on the top of the breakfast bar in the open kitchen plan as the outline of his little brother remained sitting in the shadows with an indistinguishable smirk on his face.

Another reverberating yowl echoed across the now relatively bare hardwood floor.

"Jamie, what the hell?!" Danny demanded as he propped himself up on his elbows under the assumption that his host was playing some kind of prank on him with a Halloween decoration he had uncovered in this vast mess. Surely something that big wasn't real.

The sudden movement was an unmitigated mistake on his part.

In the next split-second, Danny's mind blanked with a primordial terror as a large angry ball of black fur shot across the space, hissing and snarling before bouncing off his chest and knocking him back down flat in advance of taking a return path to alight on the counter once more to regard him from above with a fiercely twitching tail.

Danny scrambled backwards, clad only in his boxers and wound up against the wall… still unarmed of course since Jamie had channeled his inner ninja to remove said weapon from the side of his sleeping older brother and safely put it up before opening the patio door once more to their now-regular morning visitor. Bear… er, Marvin, had been less than impressed to find that his home turf had been invaded by an unknown during his absence.

"WHAT THE EFFING HELL IS THAT THING?!" Danny roared as his heart pounded out of his chest and both brothers could hear the bump of panicked feet hitting the floor in the bedroom above them followed by the thumping of footfalls that had not bothered to fish for ridiculously fluffy white slippers before flying down the steps to see what was happening. Eddie had a near heart attack herself before a light switch flipped on in the kitchen to reveal the source of the mayhem.

"That?" Jamie replied snidely as he calmly went about his morning business. "Oh, that's just my buddy Marvin. He's not a big fan of finding new people camped out in his space... especially ones dressed only in their underwear," he snickered as he went to the far counter to turn the coffeemaker on. "Put some pants on there detective, before my girlfriend gets a good look at what God gave ya… or maybe Marvin here decides he's coming back for a second hit."

"Jesus Christ! Keep that… vicious thing... away from me!" Danny huffed as he quickly went over to the pile of clothes he had dropped on the floor in a heap before hitting the sack after arriving as expected less than three hours ago. Swallowing hard and flushed red with embarrassment about yelling out in fear like that while dressed only in his skivvies in front of Eddie, he quickly jumped into his pair of pants and zipped up, all the while still wary of the stare he was getting from the aforementioned cat which did indeed seem to be focused a bit lower than his throat at the moment.

"Oh, Jamie," Eddie sighed. "That wasn't a very nice thing to do to your brother!" she scolded as she heard the patter of smaller feet now following her down the steps as a little girl became curious about the commotion and came to see.

"Uncle Danny!" Kaylin's shrill voice cut through the room as she skipped towards the kitchen. "LOOK! My kitty bear is here!" she squealed with delight as Marvin responded to his preferred name and quickly bounced down to the floor to rub up against the toddler's legs while purring softly like a finely tuned sports engine as he followed her back out into the kitchen. "Time for your fishies, boy!" she cried in happiness.

"Vicious… mhmm… children and animals, Daniel," Jamie mocked in another fine impersonation of his father's deep voice as he pulled a can out of the pantry for his deserving friend… the look on his brother's face as he had met the unexpected feline fury was worth at least a case of the best tuna he could buy in his estimation; maybe it would be a parting gift to their visitor as California was sounding better with each passing hour. "They can sense your fear," he chuckled as he continued to make breakfast before leaving for another appointment with Grace… one in which he was wholly prepared to inform her would be his last.

* * *

 _Well that was fun, and another shout out to lawslave for the suggested visual for that first meeting between good old Marvin and his continued nemesis Daniel Reagan in this series! Next Jamie is off to another appointment with Dr. Meherin and in deference to the S6:17 episode "Friends in Need" airing tonight as I write this, she's gonna make Pie Cakie with him as she catches him off guard and starts to turn the screws to bring this situation with his father to a head… a classic Henryism there, he invented it! :-)_

 _Oh, and for those wondering… this chapter marks the official halfway point... I kid you not, and there are several multi-part Snapshot II's slated to follow when this installment concludes. Hope you are still enjoying the journey!_


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

"Last time when we ended our session, I asked you to think about what you might be willing to do to protect a special child, one that you had perhaps already risked your own life for," Dr. Meherin began as Jamie once again found himself sitting in front of her ornate desk in the tastefully appointed office. "Do you have any thoughts on that today?"

 _Damn her,_ Jamie griped inwardly given the events of the past few days, _she must have some kind of psychic radar or something._ "I'd do anything necessary to make sure my daughter was safe," he admitted honestly. "Including dropping my life here and picking up and moving across the country if I had to," he added purposefully to set up his planned revelation.

"That's an interesting response," she noted as she read his somewhat unspoken intention clearly and revised her plan for this session on the fly… there would be no time to draw this into two more appointments as she had been preparing for; she would have to hit hard to open him up and then hope he came back for help with the resolution or would be able to put the pieces back together himself. "Would you lie or keep secrets from her if you thought it was in her best interest to shelter her from the truth?" she asked bluntly to touch upon her main point to expose the nerve before backing up.

"No," he replied while shaking his head and becoming uncomfortable since as much as he hated to admit it, the thought had crossed his mind. "My daughter… Kaylin. This shooter… we found out that it's her biological father," he revealed. "He's a cop-killer…" he trailed off and paused before continuing carefully. "I mean I'm not gonna try to explain it to her now… she's only two, but if she asks in the future, I won't lie to her about it either."

"You wouldn't be tempted? What if the decision wasn't only yours to make?" Dr. Meherin prodded. "Suppose Edit strongly disagreed with your approach? Would you still be so sure about things if you thought that it might in some way put Kaylin in danger or drive her away from you?"

"It won't," Jamie insisted. "Secrets do that," he added with a touch of anger when he considered the current situation with his father. "The truth always comes out later."

"So how bad are the nightmares now since Lieutenant Carson's death?" she asked with intent as she suddenly changed tack to keep him off balance, fully intending to go back to the first topic. "It's obvious you aren't sleeping well," she advised while noting the dark circles under his eyes. "You mean to tell me the things Eloise Carson said when she slapped you in that hallway haven't kept you awake since then?"

"I'm not sleeping well because this man is still out there and I need to protect my family!" Jamie snapped back with a short temper. "He's after me because I have his daughter! I need to keep her and Eddie safe! This is not about Robert Carson! I told you I didn't have a choice to do anything different there… I wish I could have, but that wasn't my fault! His wife was just angry and hurt… I understand that and I did my best to honor her wishes with the funeral out of respect! But no one believes that I can handle something like that without falling apart and now I'm just supposed to sit back here with you and watch as everyone else decides what to do with the rest!"

"Because they think you're not capable at this point? Too fragile in your state of mind?"

"Something like that, I guess," he seethed as he unconsciously gripped the chair arms until his knuckles were white.

"And that makes you angry?"

"Of course! Shouldn't it? They're treating me like a…"

"Baby," she finished and the two of them proceeded to stare each other down across the desk.

"You know, I'm done with this," Jamie half laughed as he sat back, retreating from the anger once more and turning away from it as was his habit whenever he got too close... but at the moment he wasn't the one driving the conversation and Grace wasn't letting up. "We can keep talking in circles and it's just not worth it to me. I don't care if I ever get my badge back now. My father's not in charge of me anymore."

"So I take it you're thinking about going back to law," Dr. Meherin surmised as she tapped her pen on the desk in an irritating know-it-all fashion with no intention of backing off at this point. "I thought you always wanted to be a cop… being a lawyer was your mother's idea."

"IT WAS BUT NO ONE WANTS TO LET ME MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS!"

"You mean your mother didn't."

Grace sat back in that moment and watched as that soft counter resulted in the slice she knew would go straight to his heart… the one she was forced to make today before he could run and duck away from it yet again… the one she hadn't quite had the time to prepare him for yet, a point that was obvious as she watched him freeze while all the blood drained out of his face.

"This is not about mom," came the almost silent breath. "Please I don't want to do this…"

"It is, Jamie," she urged him to continue and not shut down as she leaned forward intently. "It always has been... hasn't it?" Her question was met with an unbearable spell of silence as he stared diagonally away.

"I can't…"

"You _can…_ and I promise to help you," Dr. Meherin assured before continuing when no answer was forthcoming. "When I asked about losses in your life, you said you were away in your second year in law while your mother was ill, that you didn't know how difficult it was while you were at Harvard because that was her dream for you. She didn't want you to be a cop… she always wanted to protect you."

"Yes," came the tired reply.

"She went out of her way to hide her illness from you too… didn't she? Your mother had a very aggressive type of cancer that was quite advanced when she was diagnosed, correct?"

Another nod with no attempt to meet her eyes.

"She died the night you completed your midterm exams right before winter break, surely she had looked ill before that… over Thanksgiving? And yet you were content to go back to school?"

"I didn't know how bad it was," Jamie admitted as he finally found words. "Neither did she… it was in her pancreas," he explained. "She was having back pain for a few months. The first doctor told her she had a pinched nerve and to do PT and try walking to strengthen it so she threw herself into that and when she started losing a little weight… she actually looked really good except that she was tired… I mean I actually _complimented_ her when I was home for break," he added sadly as his heart broke. "I told her she looked great… my own mother, and I didn't know that she was dying already. Dad took her to another specialist a few days later when she started feeling nauseous all the time and they found it. She was gone three weeks later."

"And you weren't told?"

"Not all of it… only that she was feeling sick. I mean I had just seen her, and she looked fine… I wasn't worried, not until that night after the last test when Joe… he showed up at school to pick me up… and…" he stopped as his throat had completely closed.

"Jamie?"

"It was too late…"

"You never got to talk to her?" Grace probed even though she had already had been informed of all of this in full by a concerned third party… one who had felt the full weight of guilt over that decision every day in the years since. An almost imperceptible shake of the head, barely more than a tremor confirmed the answer to her question. "Why do you suppose your mother wanted that? Surely it was her decision. You were her special child, right? The one she had always doted on?"

"Too fragile to handle it," he choked out. "The letter she left in case… she told me she wanted me to do well on those damn tests… my top ranking… at that time it meant everything to the firms that would recruit me for the next year's internships and the job opportunities I would have. That's what mattered to her… I never got to tell her…" he trailed off.

"That you loved her?" Dr. Meherin questioned. In this case she desperately hoped he wouldn't go with the easy answer on this critical point, and it was with a deep inward sigh of relief that she listened to the next words.

Jamie just shook his head with glassy eyes. "She knew that," he whispered.

"But you feel like she pushed you away at the end while trying to spare you?"

"Spare me from WHAT?!" he ignited again, for which she was thankful. She needed carefully to channel that anger now, so that it finally flowed out through the right channels. "The fact that she was dead? Guess what! I got to find that out all in one fell swoop while everyone else had time to cope while it was coming! I walked into that hospital and Dad pulled me aside and..." he closed up once more and with that Jamie was up and out of his chair, pacing for the moment but preparing to leave in Dr. Meherin's estimation… she was running out of time to do what needed to be done.

"And that's what you fall back on now when this same sort of stressful situation crops up… when you feel like others are making decisions for you… the shock and anger from that night come back to the surface and you have to sort through those same emotions all over again…"

"I _dealt_ with it," he insisted as his eyes were flashing now. "I went back to school like Joe asked me to because mom made him promise and I came out a lawyer like she wanted! You're starting to sound just like them… like my eggshell's cracked!" he spat.

"But you began sleepwalking at that point and were nearly hit by a car outside of your dorm one night… stress and fatigue can bring that on."

"I got over it, just like I'll get over this."

"What was it that you wanted to tell your mother before she died?" Dr. Meherin prodded, hoping for that final shoe to drop, but by his current look and mannerisms it wasn't going to be forthcoming on its own… this had all come just a bit too soon. Despite all of her efforts, he just wasn't ready to say the words that would put the last piece of the puzzle in place. Still she desperately wanted to leave him with the keys to the lock… the ones that might open this up anyway. "Jamie, please hear me out," she asked as it was evident time was growing short and he was about to turn away and leave for good from the sound of it. "Give me five more minutes," she urged. "You're getting ready to go away, right? To run from this situation and what then? Leave your family name behind? Or is it just the family business you want to get away from now?"

"To keep us safe," he insisted. "To keep _my_ family safe."

"Don't you want to know where these waves of guilt and anger come from?"

"NO! AT THIS POINT I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE!" he seethed although he took his seat once more in a bit of a heap as his knees felt weak and that migraine of pain behind his eyes was striking like a hammer putting a nail through them again. Perhaps part of him did give a damn despite his assertions otherwise.

"What happened with your brother?" she attacked from a different front to back him off and keep his attention. "After he died, and you became a cop... you went into that investigation of the Blue Templar on your own, why?"

"To catch his killers?" he huffed and rubbed his head as that one had come out of left field… he certainly wasn't angry with Joe… his brother was his best friend was going to help him with what he needed to do because he was the only one that believed in him... before she made him promise to stop… Jamie's mind was whirring on overdrive now. This whole situation was becoming surreal and as much as he just wanted to get back up and walk out, it had the same attraction as watching an avalanche tearing down the mountain at breakneck speed towards him in front of his very own eyes, he couldn't tear them away while Grace continued to push the buttons.

"But your father, sister and brother would have been very powerful allies in that if they had the information. Why did you keep it from them and pursue it on your own? Because they kept the truth from you about your mother? Were you afraid they would think you weren't able to handle it and push you aside like she did?"

"THEY DID!" he admitted involuntarily despite his intentions to end this. "That's exactly what happened in the end when I finally told them! Dad took over and they send me back to give directions to tourists in Times Square while they worked the case!"

"And that's what's happened now with this shooter… with Officer Rodgers being so severely injured and the deaths of Lieutenant Carson and that jogger. They sent you away again and you've been masking the anger you feel about that under the guise of guilt. You get angry for a short time whenever someone insinuates that you're weak or can't do your job like everyone else, but then you almost immediately push it back down to seal it up before it's completely out because you feel in some way it's deserved... You get stuck on that stage of grief in situations like this because you're not willing to accept the anger and who it's directed at."

Jamie wanted to say so many things in that instant, but he was unable to formulate even one cognizant sentence… it was if his heart and mind had frozen in place, but she wasn't done yet…

"Mary wasn't the only one with a secret at that time, was she? You were ready to betray her in a deeply personal way but you never got the chance because she…"

"DIED FIRST!" he flared once more as he forced the words out in spite of the guilt that caused to well up from his very soul… his mother, the one that had nurtured and cherished him since before he was born had made him look weak in front of everyone else's eyes at the same time, and just when he had gathered the courage to do something about it… to confront her… she had taken that from him too and sealed his fate by leaving him without the chance to get it out.

"Jamie, what you really needed to say to your mother before she passed was not that you loved her… I'm sure that was clear to everyone," Dr. Meherin added as she jammed that last piece down in place, mindful that in necessary haste she had just bent the corners a bit to force it to fit. "What you needed to say and were denied was the fact that you were very angry that she didn't think you were strong enough to deal with what was happening, that she took away choices from you and you've bottled that up all these years because you were afraid to reveal that to anyone else at the time. You are a father now though to a little girl you clearly love deeply… you don't have to agree with what your mother did, but can you understand it and maybe forgive? Would you not want to do anything to protect a special child you have such a bond with… one that you never thought you would have and wanted so deeply? You told me earlier that you would do whatever was necessary to make sure your daughter was safe from this shooter."

" _Almost_ anything," he emphasized. "I told you I would not lie to her or keep secrets!"

"I think you feel so strongly about that because your mother Mary was protecting you until the very end in an effort to keep you away from what you really wanted… to be a cop like the rest of the men in the family, but more than that she was protecting herself by trying to assure that you would follow through with law even if she wasn't here. You must understand that... she wanted to keep you safe when she was gone just as she had done all your life… from the very moment she found out she was pregnant and the fear of those two previous miscarriages took over. She was always afraid of losing you more than anything else and you hated her for that."

 _Hated her for that._

Those last few words resounded with a force that was far too much to face and that emotional valve that Dr. Meherin had tried so hard to open up had become frozen in place again. Jamie's eyes narrowed in disbelief… how dare she say that about Mary Margaret Reagan who was completely and utterly revered in their family. A mother who had sacrificed so much to see to it that he was born in the first place… on top of everything else… how could he feel like that way about her when he was supposed to be grieving?! To _hate_ her at that time? Surely his family would have never understood him at that point if he had come out and told the truth… that he hated not his mother of course, but _himself_ for what she had made him out to be… the weakest link in the strong Reagan family chain. Maybe that connection was indeed irreparably broken now, and in the end Jamie chose to retreat once more to try to stuff this painful revelation back in that box, but Dr. Meherin had succeeded in breaking the lock and it would be impossible to keep it closed now.

"I only have one thing to say," he responded coldly with an agonizing stress headache from everything ripped raw once more. "Our time's up," he finished as he stood and walked out the door, determined at that point to never come back.

Amazing Grace had done her best, now the rest was up to Jamie and a certain angry blue-eyed man that was likewise on the hunt for something and contemplating his next move.

* * *

 _Mommy issues indeed. Seems both Jamie and Eddie are working through those right now from totally opposite directions. Next, Jamie goes MIA for a few hours in an attempt to deal with the emotions this conflict has generated… between hating that smothering protection the family had always afforded him and his desire likewise to keep Kaylin safe, and his absence sends the rest of the family into a bit of a panic until one person in particular is able to track him down._


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Jamie wasn't the only one feeling the pressure of a broken relationship that morning as his older brother had been unable to get back to sleep after his encounter with an irritated kitty who had continued to stare at him in a menacing fashion before cooperatively hopping into his box for a familiar routine trip back up the street.

Now clad more comfortably in a pair of sweatpants with a knitted shirt, and under strict orders from his father to take the day off to recharge and check in with his own family, Danny felt a sense of melancholy as he watched Eddie flit around the kitchen while cleaning up from breakfast and unpacking a box of glassware that she had retrieved from the apartment the day before while Kaylin was busy sitting on the floor coloring with her Crayola mess-free markers and paper. _Figures the kid would go out and buy stuff like that for her,_ Danny mused. The sight of a blond woman busily occupying herself in such a fashion just intensified the fact that it had been almost a week now since he had been home in his own house. A heavy sigh caught Eddie's attention, and she stopped to glance back at him.

"Are you okay, Danny?" she asked as she paused her busy work. "Can I get you something?"

"Not unless you have a magic wand around here somewhere that can fix what's broken," he hemmed as he got up off the mattress on the floor and walked over to the counter. "Another coffee would be great," he relented when she stared back at his broken expression in sympathy.

"If I had such a thing I would be waving it at your brother, too," she admitted as she turned back to the counter to start a fresh pot. "You've gotta get this guy soon, Danny… this is ripping Jamie apart from the inside out and this thing with your father… it's gotta end," she caught herself as she realized how selfish that had sounded when he was dealing with his own problems. "I'm sorry, I know you're going through all this with your family too, and you had to leave to go upstate in the middle of all that. I guess we're in the same boat. I feel bad if maybe what I said to Linda at the table made things worse in any way."

"Things were already there," he admitted quietly as he tapped his fingers softly on the counter.

"Do you still love her?"

"More than anything," he admitted with a sad glance up. "But, I hate what we've become over the last few months. I just don't know how to go back… before the shooting, hell… even before that. We were drifting a little already after all these years."

"You should go out and date again," she advised after a few moments when she returned to pour the coffee.

"Eddie, I just told you I still love my wife!" Danny insisted as his voice flared up with a bit of guilt… he had been tempted by that thought a little lately though after all.

"I meant _with_ Linda, silly," she retorted as her nose twitched and she immediately cursed herself for coming off sounding like the perky Addison Greene. "When my parents were having problems the one decent counselor they managed to see told them to recreate some of the things they liked to do together when they first met, you know… to rediscover their feelings. Sorry, that's pretty much all I got," she admitted.

"Did it work?"

"Well no, my dad was arrested and put in prison so that kinda put a kink in things," she revealed with a sad smile. "Mom had the divorce papers waiting for him when he was sentenced. They were too far gone by that point anyway…" she added. "But you and Linda, I could see that helping. Maybe if you do that you can start talking about the other stuff in a different way. I know my parents just got caught in a loop there before he was arrested. Everything they got into just wound up being the same fight. You guys are so much stronger together than they ever were though."

"Yeah, we were," he admitted with a sad sigh as he reminisced. "You know, nineteen years ago, I kissed a girl on the corner of 10th Street and University Place, and my life was never the same. We went to the movies, we saw _The Cider House Rules,_ we had slices afterwards, and I even saved the ticket stubs," he laughed softly.

"You kept the stubs?"

"Yes, I did. All these years. She always wanted to put them in one of those damn scrapbooks she loves so much, but I kept them hidden away from her. I knew I loved her that night... and I have known that I love her every night since."

"Well that's perfect!" Eddie enthused. "You should totally redo something like that and then put them side by side in a book for her…. it might help her focus on the good things. I wish I could do that for Jamie right now," she acknowledged with a disappointed frown. "I thought maybe coming here to this house would... you know, do the same thing for him with all the history of your family, but right now he just can't seem to see past the mess that's here and what's taken over our lives."

"He'll get better as things are cleaned up and we catch this son of a bitch," Danny assured. "Both ways. You know, you're the second person now that's told me to go do this scrapbooking thing in the last twenty-four hours... Renzulli," he revealed after a pause as she looked at him puzzledly.

"Snow globes," she snickered as she caught the connection.

"Yeah," he admitted as he shook his head with surprise at what he was about to say next. "How about I help you out with a little cleaning or go out and mow the lawn after I check in and see if I can get Linda to talk to me later today, and you can help me out with the damn book. Deal?" he offered with his hand out.

"Deal," she accepted with a shake and an 'I Dream of Jeannie' flip of her ponytail as an unlikely alliance was formed with its first test coming just a few hours later when one of their significant others disappeared from the radar in a tailspin.

###

"He's still not answering," Eddie fretted while she paced around the kitchen with her cell phone in hand. "His appointment was supposed to be over more than an hour ago," she reminded Danny as he sat at the counter once more nursing a cup of cold coffee and cursing himself for not insisting that he accompany his younger brother to his session. Jamie had chosen to decline the detail and take his own car to Dr. Meherin's office instead, and now he was missing and presumed what? Thankfully there had been no reports of any disturbances could be construed as Quinlan having a hand in anything, but with every passing minute the tension in the room was mounting. Finally, in Danny's estimation it was time to call in the big gun as it were.

Frank Reagan had the nagging feeling that he was in the wrong place all morning now, but after a week or more of being present but uncharacteristically neglectful of some of the responsibilities of his office, he had buckled down in determination to clear his desk of some of the most pressing items. He had just managed to dismiss Garrett after two hours of collaboration when his cell phone came to life with a familiar ID on display.

"I take it you're back in town now… everything alright, son?" he questioned without bothering with a traditional greeting.

"Dad..."

That one word and the tone it was offered in was enough instantly to command Frank's undivided attention. "What is it?" he asked as an instant chill descended over his heart.

"It's Jamie… he, uh, went out on his own to go see the shrink this morning and he still hasn't come back… he's not answering his phone and it's going straight to voicemail. Eddie's a wreck," Danny admitted while keeping his voice low so she could not hear that comment.

Frank leaned forward on the desk and took his glasses off to rub his eyes as the stresses of the week revisited. He had provided only background information to Dr. Meherin and then backed away, but surely by this point in Jamie's sessions things were getting critical and his boy would have been facing some terrible truths alone…

"Have you looked at the cemetery?" he asked softly as he considered places his youngest might go to deal with his emotions. Jamie had always sought counsel from Joe and his mother there.

"No Dad, and he shouldn't be out in the open like that. I thought you could just track his cell again and save us the…"

"Trouble," Frank finished for him. "Your brother is an adult, Danny. He's allowed to make decisions like this for himself. I don't want to invade his privacy like that over this, it's been part of the problem. We'll use that as a last resort if he doesn't show up in a reasonable amount of time… the things he's dealing with, he's likely just sitting somewhere thinking," he paused as he formulated a more acceptable and less intrusive plan. "There's only so many places he tends to go. Have the detail take Eddie over to check the cemetery and park by the house and maybe stop by the church. Call Pop and make sure he's not with him. I'll check with your sister. You go see if he's at those basketball courts he likes by the river or the apartment and I have one other idea where to look," he advised before hanging up once the order had been given and nervously strumming his fingers on the desk. At this moment he had no idea what to say to his own son if he did find him, but that was a bridge to be crossed at a later point.

"Baker," he barked into the intercom. "Call the car, I'm going out."

###

Jamie had left Dr. Meherin's office in a daze, but not so much so that he was out blindly playing in traffic as he was sure his family feared. Instead he took a few minutes to compose himself while sitting in the lobby of the building, turning off his phone completely to disable the TARU trace he knew Danny would be calling for before making his way out to the car after a careful scan of the area. Thirty minutes later after zigzagging his way through the city to make sure no one was tailing him, he arrived at his destination… the fishing pier he used to often meet his father at whenever they needed a little man-on-man time alone together, something that had happened precious little lately as the once close bond between the pair had given way a little to the attentions of a couple of new blond-haired ladies in his life. Today though he was looking for only solitude… a place to think and with no desire for company, paternal or otherwise.

After another look around, he immediately walked out to the far end of the pier and settled himself on a familiar bench; he couldn't count the number of times he had sat together with his father at that exact place over the years. It was their go to spot and had been where Jamie revealed that he had applied to the academy after Joe died, and where they had first discussed his undercover work with the Sanfinos among other things. Today though there were just a few diehards casting their lines out in the current and a small number of tourists milling about and taking pictures of the Statue of Liberty far off across the way. None of them paid any attention to the clean-shaven, nicely dressed young man who was content to sit quietly and stare out over the harbor while an inner turmoil raged inside of him as the doctor's words did battle with what he had convinced himself to be the truth over these many years, and both collided with the reality that somewhere nearby there was a real and tangible threat not only to himself, but Eddie and Kaylin… one that was still in the wind and went by the name of Jared Marcus Quinlan who had shown himself to be indiscriminate when it came to the carnage he left behind. Jamie knew in his heart this man was not looking to take Kaylin because he wanted to raise her as his own, but rather to harm her and devastate the family of cops that had grown to love her. In the end when he scratched out his own scrambled feelings about his place in the family, it boiled down to a choice to leave and protect his little girl and soon-to-be wife… the two greatest loves of his entire life, or stay and face this unknown present danger and whatever was due to come after that with a family that had little faith in his ability to handle it. What had Nicki said at that one Sunday dinner not so long ago?

" _I'm a Reagan,"_ he muttered quietly to himself and repeated his niece's words. " _Something good happens that just means something bad is right around the corner."_

Something, or rather _someone_ was sitting right around the corner at that point in time watching him carefully, but there was no evil intent in his actions. Frank Reagan had come to the one spot he knew in his heart he would find his broken son, and his mind and soul ached to go out there and join him on that bench in that very moment… to try to sort out this terrible friction that had come between them and put it away for good. He knew he owed the boy a staggering apology for what had happened… what he had allowed to happen there at the end against his better judgement, but he held himself back. _Mary Margaret, what have we done to him?_ he prayed to his beloved wife while continuing to watch from a distance. _God gave us such a gift and in the end we held it too close; I don't even know what to say yet. Perhaps it's too soon for him to listen anyway,_ he thought with a heavy thickness in his throat. _This must be so unbearably painful again right now._

In the end, Frank could only continue to watch and make sure his son was safe from afar as he took out his phone to text a few reassuring messages out to put Eddie and Danny at ease for the time being. Things were indeed coming to a head right now though, and that conversation he was dreading would become wholly requisite in just a few days as a last ditch effort to keep his family from being torn apart permanently.

###

Eddie was processing through a slew of emotions herself when word came back to her that Jamie was safe… relief, anger, worry… all swirled together in a cauldron as she returned to the house alone with a sleepy Kaylin needing a nap after her early morning wakening while Danny set off on her advice to track down Linda and have his first heart-to-heart with her since the whole separation had unfolded.

Once the little one was settled upstairs in the bed once more, Eddie returned to the first floor and half-heartedly attacked the front foyer closet, but quickly lost her resolve as she discovered it was stuffed into a nearly solid mass of what amounted to thousands of plastic grocery bags that needed to be recycled.

"Oh, for crying out loud," she sighed as she gave up and instead went and plopped down on a stool at the breakfast bar. Jamie's laptop was still sitting there, so she pulled it over and opened it intending to search for some new bedding and curtains to go in what was to be Kaylin's much larger bedroom upstairs; the next item on the list of sites she planned to hit so that she and Jamie could have some privacy once more when and if he decided to relax enough to allow the two of them to sleep together at the same time. Eddie knew that his friend David from TARU had promised to come out this weekend and set up the house with a security system, so she hoped that would be enough to give her stressed out fiancé reason to stand down a little at night if Danny wasn't able to find this damn Quinlan person first.

It took her a few seconds to realize that the home didn't have Internet service yet… the technician was due in fact that very afternoon to come in and set it up, so she puzzled as to why the pages weren't loading and accidentally clicked onto the history tab in her quest. Her eyes lit up as she viewed the trail he had left from the night before… airlines, storage facilities and transportation companies… and finally a real estate site with listings centered in the Carlsbad region of California… the area she knew was near Spencer's firm.

"You son-of-a…" she cursed while viewing a virtual roadmap to flight Jamie had left behind without realizing he had no intentions to hide anything from her for long, in fact he had planned to speak to her about the offer from Sevinnova as soon as returned from his appointment this morning and was able to kick Danny out of the house so that they could discuss it in private. To an already irate Eddie though, it looked like Jamie had been keeping a secret of his own, only further verified when she searched through the emails and found the offer that had been made as well as his response and the reply back. Steam was virtually pouring out of her ears as she considered this betrayal before he came back and she remembered her mother's words about how Jamie would always put his and Kaylin's priorities in front of her and how when push came to shove, he would pick the child first and relegate her to last in the decision making line just as her father had done to their family.

By the time Jamie had gathered himself and returned home more than two hours later, he had no idea of state that Eddie had worked herself into while she was waiting for him. One look at him as he walked in the door though was enough to evaporate every single droplet of her ire as she had never seen someone that looked to be so absolutely puddled and drained of everything that made them… well, _them._ Once again all the light had left his eyes as it had that day so long ago last week at the hospital when Eloise Carson had driven it from him with that strike and the words that followed. This time though all that remained was a thin fragile shell of the person she loved with all her heart.

"Jamie, what?!..." was all she managed before the weight of her words and gravity claimed him as he melted down to sit on the landing step.

"I'm so sorry, Ed. I know... I should have called; please don't be mad at me," he whispered as he leaned up against the wall with his eyes now shut and his head very close to the small indentation in the drywall it had left there many years ago when a trip down the stairs instigated by Danny had left a little boy knocked out for a few minutes while bleeding from a cut that required a trip to the emergency room for a concussion and eight stitches, and an older brother to face the wrath of an angry Irish grandmother. Jamie's head was pounding no less today as the migraine that had started at Dr. Meherin's office had only grown worse in intensity while the severe stress from his encounter and lack of sleep ravaged him.

"Are you alright?" she sighed as her fury had unfolded into absolute concern now and she sat aside to wrap her arms around him. "Do you feel sick? Where were you?"

"No, m'm head just hurts," he answered weakly as she forced him to shift over and lean against her own shoulder. "We have to... to talk… have to tell you something, Ed, but I can't think straight now… there's no place to sit down in this house," he mumbled, seemingly unaware that he was in fact off his feet and on the ground at that very moment. "I just needed to sit down and think…" he trailed off.

"You're exhausted," she tried to soothe as she rubbed his temple with one hand and kissed the other side of his forehead gently as she cradled him. Whatever had happened at that appointment today had certainly taken every ounce of fight out of him… this was obviously not the time to get into anything over what she had discovered on the laptop. "It can wait. You should have never gone out by yourself today, and whatever it is we'll talk about it later, okay?" she assured softly. "You need some sleep first. Did you remember to bring your migraine meds back from the apartment?" A slight negative shake of the head answered that question, and she frowned as she looked around for an immediate solution. "How about if we get you laying down somewhere with an ice pack… think that might help?"

"Just down," he pleaded although it felt so nice to be in her arms at that moment. "Anywhere with you… please, I just need you to stay with me, Ed."

"I'm not going _anywhere_ , Jamie," she promised with a concealed truth as she continued to hold him close although there would be much to discuss later when the topic of California came up since she had made a vow to Frank and Henry about not letting him run before all of this was resolved, and it looked like it might take everything she had within now to keep her word.

* * *

 _Well, it looks like we're headed towards a clash for two relationships next as Danny and Linda get together for the first time in a few days and then soon afterwards Jamie and Eddie are set for a big showdown over their future as well._


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Daniel Reagan felt like an outsider on his own block as he pulled his car up in the driveway of the small little house on Staten Island that he and Linda had begged, borrowed and… well not stole for, but close to that more than ten years ago as their growing boys had become too rambunctious to stay in the tiny two-bedroom apartment they had previously kept in Glendale. He looked with regret at the lawn that was likewise a few days overdue for mowing now and promised himself that he would take care of that chore before he left today… that was if Linda would let him.

He hesitated at the front entryway wondering if maybe he should knock first even though she was expecting him, but decided to go ahead and let himself in anyway. With a deep breath for courage he opened the door to find an empty living room that was completely familiar yet seemed uncomfortably uninviting at the same time as if he was walking into a stranger's home.

"Linda?" he called upstairs as he proceeded to search through the house, hoping she hadn't decided to leave after all to maybe just teach him a lesson about being abandoned in their own space. Instead he spotted her in the back yard, sitting at the little chair and table set they had out in the grass, her back towards him as that off-putting sensation washed over him once more. Frowning a bit as he had the impression already that perhaps this was not going to go very well, he walked over to the fridge and grabbed a couple of longnecks hoping that a non-confrontational, more relaxed approach would be accepted although she did not turn around or look over when the screen door opened and closed behind her and the bottles clanged together as he set them on the table.

"I'm here," he offered the obvious as he sat down on the chair.

"I'm aware of that, Daniel Reagan," she responded coldly before turning a bit sideways to glance over. "French vanilla?" she sniffed accusingly as she could not help the green eye of jealousy that immediately snapped upon the fact that was Eddie's signature scent.

"I'm sorry, _what?_ " he asked… puzzled once more with a woman's oversensitivity to fragrances. "It's whatever was in the shower upstairs at my brother's house," he admitted again when she did not answer. God, he was going to have to get some Old Spice in there soon if a little basic shampoo caused such a kerfuffle all the time. "How are the boys? I haven't talked to them since Tuesday," he asked.

"How do you think they are?" she tossed back irritably, refusing to warm up to his presence at all. "You left them crying for you here on Sunday and then disappeared out of town for the rest of the week. They're scared their parents are getting divorced. Jack's been sick to his stomach every day and Sean's acting up in class because he thinks this is all from what he said. Sister Agnes has called twice already to ask what's wrong."

"I'll pick them up from school and talk to them both today," he promised as the knowledge that his boys were suffering through this like that ate at his core even though it was not unexpected.

"And what will you tell them, Danny?" she demanded. "That it's okay for a man to run away from his responsibilities and walk out on his family?! That everything they've been taught about marriage in church and school is a lie?"

"That's not what this is!" he bristled finally although consciously fighting that downward spiral into the same old argument that Eddie had warned him about. "Linda, this is exactly what I don't want to do! We have to get past this or we're no good to each other or the boys… and I did not run away! I just stepped back so we don't do _this_ in front of them anymore! You have to see that was hurting all of us… and the things you said about Jamie, you would have never done that before, especially not to him. Ever since the shooting… it's like you've just become bitter about me… the job… even the family."

"So this is all my fault now, right?" she spat as she jumped up and walked back to the house sensing that the conversation was about to get testy and the last thing she wanted was to have another show in front of the neighbors. "I was shot, Danny!" she griped as she flung the door open on her way back inside. "I knew you'd take your family's side against me… they're all just worried about Jamie and his problems. No one gives a damn about anything else!"

"No, this is _not_ all your fault," he sighed as he followed her into the smaller confines of the kitchen, still reminding himself to keep his voice in check. "And that's not fair. I'm not taking their side, and Linda... listen to yourself for once! My family _is_ your family! Has been for years now, ever since we've been going together… you barely even speak to anyone from your side anymore. Pop, Dad, Erin, Nicki… who has ever been against you? Eddie? She was upset because of what was going on with Jamie last Friday," he paused for a second, puzzled when he watched as she pursed her lips angrily at the mention of his brother's name. "You aren't seriously gonna put _this_ on him too are you? 'Cause you're going to have to get in line behind everyone else that's been gunning for him lately! Who's next? Kaylin? It's her fault for being born and drawing this bastard down here to us?"

"Is that what you think? That I'll just indiscriminately blame anyone for everything… including a baby? This man that's after your brother, Danny... I've got a bad feeling about this, and it's worse now that I know you are staying over there with them!"

"What else is new, Lin?" he sighed as despite his best efforts, things were starting to slide backwards once more.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"No, seriously, Danny. What is that supposed to mean?" Linda demanded as her eyes flashed up at him.

"I said _nothing!_ " he barked back as he turned around and slammed his fists down on the counter in utter frustration now.

"Dan, you got something to say to me?"

"Okay!" he spat back. "Ever since you got shot, it's like you're walking around looking for what else can go wrong. You're just trying to figure out what can happen next. Look, bad things happen, okay? And I know, we've had our share. But you can't walk around living in fear."

"You think that's what I'm doing?"

"That's what I _know_ you're doing! And it needs to stop!"

"Or what, huh? Or what?! Look at what's happening right now! There's always something going on with your family! If it's not you in danger, then it's Jamie and Eddie, or your sister... your Dad's even been shot with a whole damn detail looking after him all the time! Now there's this crazy person running around and you're all willing to put yourselves in front of him no matter the cost! It's only a matter of time before something bad happens and you know that's true! Pardon me for caring about the people in my life!"

"Yeah, well after listening to that crap your so-called therapist was trying to spew… she wants you to focus your anger on everyone except the person who did this to you! Curtis is the one that pulled the trigger… not me, not Kaylin, not my father, not the whole damn NYPD or Jamie! Instead you go off and relate to a woman that's doing the same thing… blaming my brother for her husband's death when that all rests on this goddamn Jared Quinlan who has no other reason to do it other than he hates cops!"

"I never said it was anyone else's fault! It's just that I know how Eloise Carson feels… to be so angry at someone or some _thing_ for taking her husband away, and Jamie… I know it's not fair, but I feel like he's pulled you away from me and our family now too when _we_ need you the most. You left us, Danny… something you vowed before God that you would never do."

"I didn't _leave_ leave, Linda… I just… went in the shower and turned the water on."

"WHAT?!"

"My folks," Danny explained with a sigh. "Dad told me once that when they had hard times and needed to fight they would do it in the bathroom with the shower running so that the kids wouldn't hear… that's all this is."

"Well our boys know what's going on and it's still hurting them so if that's your plan, it's not working!" she cried. "If you don't want to fight, Danny… why did you come here? It's all we do anymore. I'm so tired of this," Linda admitted as she sank down into a chair at the kitchen table. "It's just with your family, everything is about the job… about shootings and criminals and the honor of sacrifice! There's no honor in getting shot by a boy who was forced to do it by a gang! I'm a nurse! We're supposed to save lives in a hospital and this time people died and families were destroyed. I don't want my sons to have some romantic notion that's okay, because it's not! Danny, I don't know what to think… I just don't know what to do anymore!" Linda cried as she brought her hands up in front of her face; they were shaking now.

"Why didn't you step back, Linda?" Danny asked as he leaned back against the counter and tried to interject a change in direction from the familiar argument they were now having.

"What?! I just told you I made a vow to you in front of God…"

"Not now, not about us," he questioned as his eyes grew flat. "That day in the hospital, when Curtis came in with the gun; he didn't want to shoot you. He told you to step back, but you put yourself in front of your patient trying to save him… how is that any different from what we do on the job? Maybe there was no honor in getting shot because your patient died," he added with remorse as he watched that revelation hit her squarely. "Lin, you were doing the exact same thing that we do when we pick up our badge and gun every day… trying to save someone and this time you didn't. You _do_ care for the people in your life… for your family and your patients. I can see that! And I think that part of this is that you share the same guilt that Jamie does over things like this. You felt helpless in that situation and it's eating at you. You have more in common with Jamie than you know and if that guy's family had come up and said they blamed you for what happened you would have been just as crushed as my brother. It wouldn't be right for them to do that, and it wasn't right what that Carson woman did."

"I didn't think he would shoot us if I stayed," she whispered. "Not Curtis… not my friend's son… he knew me, it didn't make sense… I thought he would stop so I just stood there!"

"I know that, babe," he murmured as he stood behind her and rubbed her shoulders as her hand came up to touch and cover his. "Just like it doesn't make any sense what this gunman is doing to Kaylin and Jamie. We can't control these things, and Linda no one blames you for being scared, but you can't be angry at the wrong people! When you were in the hospital…" he sighed. "I didn't think you were gonna make it, and I…" he paused and tried to gather himself before choking out the rest. "There's not a lot that scares _me,_ you know? The thought of losing you... really scared the hell out of me. I think it still does. And now I'm watching my brother and all he's going through right now being a target... his life's torn to shreds over this and things that happened before. I know it's not just you who's living in fear like that… we're all doing it, but turning it on your family is just not right."

"I don't know how to stop it though," Linda cried. "I still get afraid every time you walk out that door. How will that ever get easier after what happened?"

"We need to learn to live with it again… and we need to be grateful when the door opens and we get to be together. Until we both can say that... it isn't time for me to come back yet," he paused as she covered her eyes once more at that revelation. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise you," Danny assured as he dropped down to wrap his arms around her shoulders. "We've just been hashing and rehashing things and going around in circles instead of moving out of it for almost a year now, and this is _our_ problem. We've both had a hand in this and it's gonna take both of us to fix it. I know I have to be a better man… a better husband that listens to you more and a better father. I felt so guilty watching you go through this and it brought up my own feelings I never dealt with from Iraq… I didn't want to admit before."

"Then why stay away? Being here without you… it's making it worse! Please just come home, Danny," Linda pleaded as she finally turned around to look at him for the first time as her eyes welled up. "I'll try if you do… please for the boys, show me that you'll put us first in front of anything else… in front of work and finding this shooter because it's your obligation to your father and Jamie. Look at what I did and where it got me; you almost lost me... yet you're still willing put me and the boys through that again?"

"That's not what this is about, and besides he's my little brother and I'm supposed to protect him. If it makes you feel any better he'd just love to kick me out of that house too. You and I… we both need to be the same people we were before… the ones we fell in love with, Linda... I need you to be able to put me in my place, not because you're angry or scared of what I do, but because you're strong and confident again and you know that I will do everything I can to always come home to you and the boys. We don't work any other way."

"I don't know how to do that anymore!" Linda admitted as the tears were now flowing freely, but with less crossness. "Dr. Bennett says that our marriage is as much a casualty of this as me being shot was!"

"Linda, she doesn't even _know_ us… she just makes stuff up as she goes!" he retorted angrily as he turned around and rolled his eyes as they caught sight of the latest brochure from the good doctor tacked up on the fridge. "Look at this!" he said as he ripped it down. "It's all about behavioral problems and outpatient and inpatient services! She has you believing that we can't get through any of this on our own! Pretty soon she's gonna label the boys as something and say they need to be in therapy too. We've been married almost eighteen years now! I know you better than she does! We don't need all this crap!"

"She says you're in denial about how much the aftermath of the shooting is affecting us!"

"I'm not in denial! I'm here to work on it, aren't I? I _know_ this has affected our marriage, look at us! But it doesn't take a genius to see that this is not working… it's been a year now, Linda. AN EFFING YEAR! I just don't think the way to fix things is to ask me questions about my parents and childhood. My mother never got shot, thank God! And how she dealt with Dad being on the job… well that's what landed Jamie in the mess he's in right now, hasn't it? She overprotected him to death and now you're trying to do the same thing to me and our boys!"

"So you won't see Dr. Bennett again?! You're just giving up?"

"No, I'm done with her, but I'm not giving up on _us,"_ he emphasized. "Linda, it's not working her way. Let's try something else or if we have to we'll go see a different counselor... I'll do that… and you're a nurse for God's sake! If you had a patient that wasn't getting better and thought there was something else that could help, wouldn't you tell them to go get a second opinion? Why is this different?"

"I don't know who else to listen to, Danny," she admitted sadly. "No one I know understands this."

"Well I didn't know what to do either, but I got some simple advice from a few people. If we need to we can go to the woman from the department that's head-shrinking Jamie right now… she's doing a real number on him but she knows cops and how to deal with the aftermath of shootings like this. First, I say we try the common sense route for a change, okay? You want Dad's mind-numbing two cents or Eddie's?"

"Frank's," she picked with a roll of the eyes, imagining what was coming and still miffed at her future sister-in-law's rebuke at that disastrous dinner the week before.

"He said something about surviving by embracing the past and not running away from it before you understand it."

"Anderson Cooper," she muttered under her breath. "Why am I not surprised, and I don't even know why I'm asking this, but Eddie?"

"Oh, she told me to start dating again," Danny admitted as Linda's eyes snapped over with a seething comment barely resting on the tip of her tongue. " _You,"_ he clarified as he saw her start to rail against that. "She told me to start dating _you_ again… you know, to rekindle things between us the way they used to be," he whispered as he stepped behind her at the table and kissed her neck gently from behind as he wrapped his arms around her once more. "I think I like that one. So what do you say, Ms. Linda Bellis? I've seen you around a few times before and you're kinda hot... would you like to go to the movies with me on Saturday night and get a couple of slices afterwards?"

"You're _serious?"_ she gasped and shook her head. "No… I don't know about this, it's not what Dr. Bennett said we needed to do… and what about the boys?"

"They can get their own dates when they're old enough," Danny quipped and smiled at last. "C'mon, I'll mow the lawn then get them from school today and take them to dinner to talk so they know what's going on and can settle down, okay? Please, Linda… let's give this a try. Forget about that bitter therapist woman… she's always looking for problems where there aren't any; we'll do this Reagan-style. I want things back like they used to be when we knew how to be happy together. On Saturday we'll drop the kids off with Pop and go out, just you and me… is that a yes? I'll pick you up at 6:30?"

Linda closed her eyes and nodded after a long pause… this was so not what she had wanted out of this visit, but she conceded because she didn't know what else to do at that moment and she had the sense he would leave once more if she didn't agree. "Yes, Daniel Reagan, I will go out to the movies with you," she said flatly without conviction, not entirely sure that this low-tech non-therapy approach was going to fix matters between them after all this time.

"That's good," Danny sighed in relief. "Because all I had left after that was Renzulli and I don't think you're a big fan of snow globes."

###

"So you're really not coming home yet, Dad?" Jack asked softly with a downturned look and trembling chin as he picked at his fries while he sat with Danny and Sean in a booth at a local diner after school. "This is all your fault, idiot!" he spat sideways angrily at his brother, causing another immediate barrage of tears to be released from his younger sibling who had been harboring intense feelings of guilt about the situation between his parents all week now.

"John Patrick Reagan!" Danny admonished with an edge to his voice. "None of this is your brother's fault!… and none of it is your's either, son," he finished with a softer tone and a frown directed at the nosy waitress who tutted at him from the adjoining table.

"Richie Sanders said his parents told him the same thing when they were getting divorced," Jack insisted as he pushed his basically untouched food away. "I'm not hungry anymore."

"Your mother and I are _not_ getting divorced," Danny insisted as he snagged a fry off the plate and pushed it back towards him. "And since when have you ever passed up a meal at this place? They've got the juiciest burgers and best steak fries on the island… wash that down with a chocolate shake and I can feel my arteries hardening up as we sit here."

"Stop making jokes… _it's not funny!"_ Jack insisted as he pursed his lips and looked diagonally away.

"No, this is not funny," Danny admitted with a frown as he sat back. "You're right, and I'm sorry if it came off that way. I know you boys have been having a tough time with this all week and then I had to go out of town in the middle of it, but I'm back now and I wanted to sit down with you both man-to-men so we can talk about what's happening."

"Can't you please just come home?" Sean sniffled as the tears continued to roll and his meal sat uneaten as well. He had been so excited to see his father waiting for him after school today… sure that this whole big mess had been taken care of and that Danny would be home with them where he belonged. "I miss you and Mom cries all the time… just don't fight anymore!" he offered as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"Your mom and I don't want to," Danny admitted. "Especially not in front of you two, but we've got some work to do on that yet and it's better right now if we each have a place to step back so that when we do get together we focus on the good stuff and not being mad or upset with each other over little things that don't matter. What your mom went through last year… it scared her really bad… well, really it scared all of us, right?" he asked as he looked between the two boys who were nodding. "And she has to try not to be so scared about stuff all the time and I've got to do better on making sure that I'm not adding to that with the way I act at work and home, okay? Can you two guys try to help us? We're gonna solve this as a family… and that means no blaming each other because none of this is on either of you, and maybe we can go back to acting better at school, hmm... Sean? I don't want to hear from your mother that Sister Agnes has been calling the house anymore. Both of you… if you need to talk to someone and I'm not there, you pick up the phone and call me, okay?"

"Yes, Dad," the two boys answered in unison.

"Good," Danny replied. "I promise I'm gonna do my best to make this better so I can come home real soon, but in the meantime I need you to mind your mom when I'm not there. I'm just staying with Uncle Jamie and Eddie until then."

"Is Uncle Jamie mad at me too?" Sean asked quietly as he had been too scared to approach his uncle and Jamie had been too shellshocked by the events of last week to offer his nephew any comfort before the boys had left the house after either of the past two strained family meals.

"No, sport… he's not mad at you or mom," Danny answered with what he hoped to be the honest truth. He knew his kid brother would never harbor any resentment towards Sean, but Linda… that was too close to call at this point. "Sean, Uncle Jamie just had a really hard time with everything that happened last week, but that's why I'm there looking after him with Eddie and Kaylin, okay? He's gonna get better too real soon and everything will settle back the way it's supposed to be, alright? I promise," he swore to reassure both the boys and himself. In reality, Danny had no idea how his younger brother was really coping right now, and after the events of the morning when he had disappeared to the pier after the appointment with Dr. Meherin, he had a feeling that the news couldn't be good. Danny could only hope that Eddie had been able to approach Jamie when he returned to the house.

What he didn't know was what Eddie had found on that laptop and that his physically and mentally exhausted younger brother had been asleep all afternoon now so that the fireworks in that household were just getting set to go off.

* * *

 _Special thanks to lawslave for holding my hand through this chapter and sharing some insights… that was a really tough one for me to write but I tried to make some sense out of that complete hodgepodge of a storyline for a post-shooting Linda which all of a sudden seemingly got fixed in one two-minute conversation when Danny took all the blame... I think not. So in werks-world things at this point are a tinge more civil between Danny and his wife although she is still seriously lacking faith and their future together is still somewhat up in the air. The same might be said of the coming ten-round bout between Jamie and Eddie as he is wholly prepared to walk away from everything and she digs in her heels in an effort to get him to stay, but first she gets a pep talk and a few pointers from a concerned father who's in her corner before the bell rings._


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Eddie very nearly jumped out of her skin when a firm knock was heard just behind her at the front door of the house in the late afternoon… made worse by the fact that she was standing tip-toed on the very top rung of a rickety old step stool trying in vain to reach a small wooden box that had been stuffed up nearly out of sight on the top shelf of the foyer closet and had only been revealed when hundreds, if not thousands of wadded-up plastic grocery bags had been pulled out first.

Catching her breath and balance at the same time, she dared to glance behind her through the leaded glass of the ornate old front entryway she absolutely adored while wondering why the security detail posted across the street had not alerted her to a visitor. The sight of the distorted but familiar bulky looming outline standing there put her mind to rest immediately and explained the lack of response from the officers on watch. Commissioner Frank Reagan was waiting at her door and indeed even a now post-nap Kaylin had been tipped off to his presence and had immediately run over and was trying to undo the multiple locks to open it.

"No, no, baby… stop. You mustn't let anyone in by yourself," Eddie chided as she stepped back down to the floor, that box still stubbornly taunting her short frame from the top of the closet.

"But it's Grandpa!" Kaylin shouted excitedly. "He came to see me with the batmobile!"

"Shush, sweetie! Don't call it that, and Daddy's still sleeping!" Eddie attempted to quiet her as she rolled a nervous eye up towards the top of the stairs. Jamie had been utterly spent when he had returned earlier and had become physically ill a few times with nausea from the crushing migraine before he had managed finally to fall asleep upstairs in the bed with towels thrown over the windows of the room to keep it dark and a pillow over his head. Eddie had laid with him for hours as she promised until the little girl they were sharing the room with had woken up from her own nap and needed attention.

"Just a minute," Eddie called softly as she flipped over the deadlock and slid the chain off the door to allow Frank entry.

"Grandpa!" Kaylin said excitedly while still keeping her voice obediently in check as he stepped inside and scooped her up. "We have to be very quiet," she whispered as she held one little finger up and put it by his moustache. "Daddy's s'eeping."

"Oh, I see," he smiled and hugged her tight, nearly engulfing the tiny girl in his big frame as she wrapped her little arms around his neck. "Thank you sweetheart, I'll try to be very quiet… I just needed this hug from you," he explained as he kissed the little one's cheek and inhaled some of her freshly baby shampooed scent while he looked over at Eddie. "It's been a difficult few days. I hope you don't mind that I just stopped by without calling first. I was afraid if I did, well… the blinds would be down and the welcome mat rolled up..." he trailed off.

"Of course, Frank," Eddie assured as she cut off that thought immediately. "You're family and always welcome here just as you've always made me feel at your house."

"I appreciate that… I know things haven't been easy here this week either," he admitted as he stepped further into the house where he had grown up and spent a happy childhood as the only known son of Henry and Betty Reagan. While still nowhere near the spotless and tastefully decorated abode his mother had prided herself with, there were clear signs of a return to grace for the once grand living room with its oak floors and custom wood trim appointments. "You've really come a long way here in just a few days," he praised her. "Pop will be thrilled and Mom would be so happy to see this."

"Yes, well I've had a lot of time on my hands," Eddie admitted as she eyed the corner of that stubborn box on the shelf once more. "Frank, would you mind?" she asked as she pointed up at it and smirked. "I'm so vertically challenged with these high ceilings that I just can't seem to reach it even with help. The last thing we need right now is for me to get another concussion by flipping backwards off a stool."

"Not a problem," he smiled as he continued to hold Kaylin and stretched his six-four frame up to coax the small chest-type item over to the edge and slide it off, bringing the now familiar box down. "Oh, Eddie... I can't believe it, not after all this time..." he sighed as his eyes misted up. "Come and see… Pop and I have been looking everywhere for this for years and here it was up there all along. We must have missed it when he moved out," he advised as he walked over and set it down on the table. A young child's hand had obviously painted the word "Momma" along with a heart and other small symbols of adoration on the smooth wooden cover of what had once been a fancy cigar box. "I made this for her," he murmured as his now much larger hand still nimbly managed to undo the small metal clasp on the side and when the lid was lifted it revealed a treasure trove of small trinkets, a few cherished pieces of costume jewelry and saved Valentine's and birthday cards, some letters as well as a few sepia-toned photos of what could only be Henry and Betty posing proudly with their young son in front of the very house they were now standing in. "My First Holy Communion," he smiled as his mustache quivered a bit as he held up the largest picture up for Eddie and Kaylin to see.

"Grandpa, _LOOK!_ So pretty!" Kaylin gushed over a garish-looking ruby ring she picked up.

"Baby, put that back," Eddie worried that the toddler was handling something valuable. "Frank, that isn't expensive, is it?" she questioned as the little girl wiggled down from his arms and proceeded to dance across the cleared floor space around them like a ballerina with the big rock glittering on her tiny hand.

"Priceless," he revealed with a laugh. "It took me all afternoon to win that out of the penny gumball machine at the market one Saturday. I think it cost me about thirty cents in the end. It was a Mother's Day present when I was about eight," he explained.

"Oh, Frank… this is wonderful," Eddie breathed as she stood entranced and amazed by how emotional discovering this bit of history from a family she wasn't even officially part of had made her. "There's so many things in this house… every day we find something else. I can't wait until we make our own memories like this here," she added as her fingers slid softly over the name she now longed for Kaylin to call her while her eyes clouded over with the knowledge of what was coming. "That is if we get the chance," she whispered sadly as Frank stiffened with those words while he waited for the expected explanation. "He's gotten another really big offer from Spencer's firm, although he hasn't told me himself yet… I found out about it this morning accidentally when I went on his laptop, but I really wasn't snooping," she defended with a hurt look on her face while Kaylin continued to entertain herself by showing her new prize to all the available stuffies in the area as she chattered on to herself. "It's a whole lot of money, and it looks like he's planning on going out to California for an interview next week. I was all set to tear into him when he got home, but he was so…"

"Broken," Frank finished for her as he put the rest of the items back in the box and closed it, the joy of finding that bit of personal treasure after all these years now tempered by the fear that he might just lose something even more precious. "I know," he added. "I could see it at the pier… I just didn't know what to say to him. That's why I stopped by; I had to check and see if he was alright."

"He's not… he was sick," she explained. "Physically sick with the worst migraine I have ever seen him get. He said he had something to tell me but he was in no shape to talk so I put him to bed and pushed it off for a bit. I think he's had about all he can take over this… we have to end it now. Maybe you can stay and talk to him once he wakes up, he needs you…"

"No, Eddie," Frank corrected with a heavy heart knowing he was asking to leave his son's future in someone else's hands. "What he needs is to make this decision without me telling him what to do. I can't force him to stay; it has to be his choice, or rather one between the two of you. For his whole life I was complacent in letting his mother decide Jamie's path for him… he was an easy child and only ever wanted to please her so it happened almost without the rest of us noticing, but in the end it only served to hurt him in the worst way possible and now it might drive him away."

"Why?" Eddie questioned again, determined this time not to be put off. "What was it that happened? Please Frank, I need to know now… you promised to tell me when it was the right time and I think this is the final straw for him. I can't ask him to stay if I don't know what he's running from!"

"Yes, of course," Frank sighed with a familiar tightening in his throat once more. "What do you know about his mother's passing?" he questioned.

"His mom? Your Mary I mean… she died of cancer, right?" Eddie puzzled. "Danny said she kept the worst from Jamie when he was out at Harvard and she died unexpectedly before he could get back from school one night. Is that why was he so upset after that appointment with Dr. Meherin? Why is she bringing that up now?"

"Mary didn't just keep the worst from him," Frank admitted as he pursed his lips and looked away with heavy guilt. "She kept all of it from him... Eddie, he didn't even know his mother had cancer until I told him that night when she was already in a coma from the heavy pain medication she was on. The doctors assured her she had more time, but they were wrong, horribly wrong… it was in her pancreas and too far advanced when it was found. She only had weeks at that point… right after he had been home for Thanksgiving, but Mary had it in her head that Jamie had to finish that term at Harvard at the top of the rankings so that he got the best possible internship offers for his final year… all that work and schooling… she put that over what he needed for his heart because she thought he would never be able to walk away from law then at that point and…"

"... be a cop," Eddie gasped and teared up in shock at the depth of that personal betrayal and what that must done to him. "Whoa."

"Yes, ahem," Frank choked. "Well… and as close as she held him all his life… she pushed him away at the worst possible time and it was absolutely the wrong thing to do, but I couldn't look my dying wife in the eye and go against her wishes… I'm just as guilty for doing this to him," he admitted as he stared out of the window into the back yard. "It wasn't her decision to make… what he should do with his future, and so you see now why I can't be the one to tell him that he should stay on the job that he has an absolute gift for and not be a lawyer? I gave up that right by going against him before… it has to be what he wants this time, and I have to stop seeing him as that over-sensitive little boy that Mary always made him out to be. He's not… the way that he has handled everything in his life the past year… adopting this beautiful child and becoming a father, what he did last week for Lieutenant Carson's family. I know now that Jamie has more strength inside him than any of us have ever given him credit for."

"But being a cop is what he wants," Eddie insisted. "It's what he loves, he's only thinking of taking this job because he feels like no one here will let him make his own decisions and he's…"

"Protecting Kaylin," Frank finished. "It's the same damn cycle repeating to an extent. It broke Mary's heart at the end when she realized she wouldn't have the time to try to explain and make it right with him… she knew it was a terrible mistake and her last words were of regret, but it was too late… and now Jamie's going to give up what he loves to try to protect this little girl and you because the rest of us have made him believe he has no other choice," he paused once more with a heavy sigh. "This was my last chance to fix this, so he didn't carry it forward for the rest of his life, but I just didn't figure on this man coming along and targeting him and Kaylin. The only way I can see him putting this all behind him and coming out on the right is to take my hands away from the wheel and let go while standing back to watch and make sure you are all safe until this Quinlan bast… ah, character," he cleaned up his language as Kaylin had wandered back over. "Until he's caught."

"So now it's my turn to be the bad guy, right?" Eddie looked up sadly as she picked up the little girl and held her close. "I have to be the one who convinces him to stay, no matter the cost?"

"Only if that's what you want and think is best," Frank agreed as he did not envy her that position. "It's your life too. Maybe you prefer something more stable and secure… a nice house on the beach..."

"No, I love being a cop too, and this feels like my home now," she interrupted as she looked around at the still overrun house with both pride and desperation. "I don't want to leave New York and doing that won't make him happy. I've never really had much of a family before and I'm not going to run away now that it's so close… I love you all so much already. What if he won't listen to me though?"

"Eddie…. I know that Jamie loves you as much as I loved my Mary," Frank assured. "I cannot in my heart believe that he will leave here without you, but it might take him a bit to realize that, especially with what he's facing right now… it's frightening to consider what could happen if…" he trailed off again so as not to say anything scary in front of his granddaughter. "You'll need to be strong… Reagans can be a bit stubborn, you know," he smiled sadly.

"Yeah, well none of you have ever come up against a determined Janko woman before," she swore under her breath as she handed the little girl back to her Grandpa. "My mom could take all of you down in her heels without breaking a sweat. Would you mind watching Kaylin at your home for the evening?" she questioned as she pursed her lips in determination. "Somehow I don't think we're going to be able to keep things quiet enough by running the shower tonight."

* * *

 _Okay, we're all set for the title match next. In this corner wearing the red trunks and his heart on his sleeve we have the welterweight Jamie "The Kid" Reagan, overall good guy and father who's been rocked a little by events in this story. His opponent in this bout, wearing light blue to compliment those flashing eyes is the feisty little super bantamweight, Eddie "Right Hook" Janko who is determined to do whatever necessary to keep her newfound family together in the NYC zip code. When I say "break" I want a clean break… in the event of a knock-down, you will be directed to go to a neutral corner. Are there any questions? You are both professionals so we expect a good, clean fight! No hitting below the belt and protect yourself at all times!.. Okay, touch gloves and come out at the bell! Ding, ding!_

 _Sorry to do this to you again guys, especially with the big fight scene coming up, but next chapter will be posted Monday. Leaving at o'dawn hundred once more tomorrow for 8am soccer games at a tournament more than two hours away so will be driving during normal posting time and will be gone all day. Happy Mother's Day, right? Indeed. lol._


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

"Jamie? Hey, sleepyhead… you do have to move at some point in time so I know you're still alive, Reagan," a whisper and softer touches gently roused him out of the stone-dead eight-hour mental and physical hibernation he had fallen into. Eddie hated to disturb him, but she had an open window of time to do what needed to be done and she was not going to miss it.

"M'm here," he confirmed in a mumble as his senses slowly returned. "Time is it?"

"Almost seven," she answered as she continued to rub soothing circles on his chest as she lay next to him. "Is your head feeling better now?"

"Yeah," he sighed as he brought his hand up to rub his eyes before finally opening them.

"I made you some green tea and toast… think you can keep some of that down?"

"Maybe," he answered as he pulled himself up and sat against the headboard. "It's better. Guess I just needed the sleep. Sorry for earlier…" he trailed off apologetically. "Where's sweetness?"

"Your Dad has her," Eddie answered and noted the anticipated return flick of anger in his eyes. "He stopped by a little while ago to check on you and I asked him to take her… you said we needed to talk," she instigated carefully. "Danny's still out with the boys so we're alone now… what is it that you wanted to say?"

Jamie eyed her with great suspicion at that moment; he was gifted at reading people, especially her, and even hamstrung in the state he was in right now he recognized there was a timbre in her voice that told him it was less of a question and more of a challenge to see if he would come clean with her… that coupled with Kaylin's convenient disappearance and his father's unannounced visit meant this was hardly just the friendly concerned fishing expedition as she was making it out to be. "What is it that you don't already know?" he asked coldly as his eyes narrowed.

"I'm not the one who's been making decisions for us and then hiding them!" she fired her first carefully considered round and revealed the fact that she had clearly seen the news about the offer from Sevinnova… that was a given in his mind by this point, and the how and the why was unimportant. "We promised each other from the very start… partners, no secrets!" she added indignantly.

" _Hiding?!"_ he spat as he swung his legs over the bed and stood up just slightly shaky for a brief second before he turned to glare back at her. "Way to jump to conclusions there, Janko! I worked undercover for how long? Huh? Honey, if I wanted to hide _anything_... you would have never found it! I'm so stupid I'd leave something like that up on the screen if I didn't want you to know? Oh, that's right… poor Jamie is so scrambled right now he can't take care of himself! God, you're just like everyone else!" he accused. "Please, let's just assume… not think that I wanted to discuss it in _private_ and not in front of a goddamn audience that _you_ invited into our lives without asking _me!_ I just got the freaking offer in the middle of last night and Danny showed up right after that!"

"You said yes without even asking me!" she bristled back as she also stood up and the two faced off across the bed, with Eddie holding the psychological advantage of being able to block the doorway to keep him from leaving. "What? You think you can just go ahead and make major decisions like this without consulting me now? I'm not your rookie anymore… I don't have to follow your lead and let you drive the car all the time!"

"Seriously?! I said yes to a damn _interview!"_ he barked back, astounded. "Did you even bother to read what I wrote before you got all this in your head? Or did you call my daddy and let him put it there? They're willing to fly all three of us out there in the beginning of the week… we can get away from this damn house and go somewhere where Quinlan can't find us! We can take Kaylin where she'll be safe... or doesn't that matter to you at all?" This time her presence failed to stop him and he angrily brushed by on his way out of the room and down the steps to open up the space between them.

"How _dare_ you say that I'm not worried about her!" Eddie nipped behind him as she followed, now growing into the fight that she had started for an entirely different purpose. "I've been doing nothing except worry about _both_ of you since this all started! But this?" she added. "I don't even understand what you are thinking!… You've always wanted to be a _cop,_ right? So what? You've decided to take a little vacation in the middle of this to pretend to want to be a lawyer again just screw with this Matterson guy and comp a couple of free tickets and a nice hotel room to get some sun for a few days? I don't buy that for a second!"

"How can you even ask that?! It's more like _if_ I can be a cop anymore!" he turned as she aggressively cornered him in the kitchen once more. " _HOW?!_ Eddie, what exactly did I do to deserve having my badge taken away? Huh? Can you answer that for me?!" he demanded. "You know what it is? I'm not Danny, I still have Reagan as my last name and an effing Harvard degree to go along with it, that's all! Do you understand that the longer he keeps me away, the harder it will be to ever get the confidence of my platoon back? Would you want a CO that has to be hidden away by his daddy and forced into therapy when your ass was still out there on the line every day? Six years on the job and I still haven't proven a damn thing to any of them!"

"Jamie, your father would pull any cop off the street that had someone like Quinlan gunning for him and you know that," she softened slightly as she hadn't considered that angle before.

"Yeah, well maybe I've lost my confidence in _him,"_ he snapped back before covering his eyes and fighting back that now familiar resurgence of pain behind his eyes. "Or are you forgetting that he took it away before we knew any of this? You, on the other hand seem to be getting kinda chummy with everyone else in my family… maybe you better think about that though. You take that last name and you're opening yourself up to this too."

"Don't do that," she sighed. "Don't put me on the other side of this, and you act like Janko has been some kind of blessing for my career instead."

"So why then? Why even fight it anymore, Eddie?" Jamie asked as he collapsed on the stool and defeatedly held his pounding head in his hands once more. "We could do it… move out to California and have a good life… give Kaylin everything she would ever need and you could be safe… no more EDPs or girlfriend-beating firebombing murderers kidnapping you on some kind of personal vendetta…"

"Jamie, if I thought for a second either of us would be happy doing that…"

"And this? _This_ is what happy looks like?!" he questioned as he dared glance back at her. "Hiding here with a big pile of garbage in this house… a roof that's still not finished and a million things to fix while we have to gate off everything to keep our child safe, really? 'Cause I swear if I don't get away from _this_ I'm gonna follow after the damn Reilly side of the family like Pop keeps warning me about and stroke out or explode. Is that what you want? Your mother was right, this is not the life for I want for you or my daughter!"

" _My M-O-T-H-E-R?"_ Eddie emphasized in a deliberate drawl as her nose uncontrollably twitched with tension, and she was now sparked back into the conflict with that one word utterance. "And exactly what does _she_ have to do with any of this?!" she demanded. "I guess she got to you during that little ride out to the church last week didn't she? And you actually fell for it? Wow, talk about getting chummy with the enemy and not keeping secrets!" she spat.

"So what did you want me to say when I got home?!" he barked back once more as things began to heat back up after that brief time out. "Hey, honey… funny thing, we went to see the church we're going to be married in and while I was chatting with your mommy today she told me she doesn't approve of me! That this is not the life she sees for you! Asked if I would want this for Kaylin, and you know what? I DON'T NOW! How the eff am I supposed to carry that on my back for the rest of my life?!… If anything ever happened to either of you..." he trailed off. "This job out west… we wouldn't have to worry…"

" _SWEET!"_ Eddie retorted sarcastically as her blue eyes flashed. "It sure sounds to me like this is more serious than just going out for an interview then, isn't it? This guy has been hounding you for years… it's more like a negotiation because you've already made up your mind, right? I'm just gonna be the last to know and expected to go along with it?!" she snarked. "Seriously? So _now_ you want me to listen to my mom… well, you know what else she's had to say, _huh?!"_ she paused but expected no reply forthcoming as he was looking at her rather incredulously while she ramped the volume up. "She told me we wouldn't work because you already have your own priorities and you will always put Kaylin and your family in front of me! That I'm fourth or so on your damn list of what's important and you know what? MAYBE SHE'S RIGHT ABOUT THAT TOO!"

"Ed, that's not true…" he tried to interject in a softer voice as he considered how this all had come off to her for the first time, but she was on a real roll now and there was no stepping in front to slow her down until it all came out, and unfortunately that ended up going a bit further than she intended.

"Well since you _haven't_ asked," she seethed with a Serbian temper that was now on full display. "I have no intention of leaving New York or this house right now, Jamison Reagan! You're not the only one in this relationship that's worked hard at being a cop, and what makes you think that I would just give up my job to go sit at home with the kids, even if it's on a damn beach? Did you ever once consider that I _like_ what I do? You're so upset with your family for feeling like they have the right to make decisions for you no matter how awful and wrong they are, and yet here we are and I'm in the same boat!"

"What do you know about that?" he demanded coldly as that little red light went off in his head again… the one appeared anymore when the Reagan family cartel was asserting its control over his life, and Eddie instantly cursed herself for that needless slip. _Crap!_ she sighed inwardly and closed her eyes, her guilty silence was answer enough.

"Oh, so I get it now," he revealed as he continued and his eyes went flat and dark. "Jamie, wake up I made you some tea…" he mocked. "Kaylin's with Grandpa so we can talk… THIS WAS ALL A SETUP, RIGHT?!" he thundered as his head continued to pound and his vision blurred in one eye again as his face went numb from the renewed stress, and he almost dared the universe out loud to really go through with it this time and pop that damn blood vessel or whatever it was that was pulsating in his brain right now to end this and put him down out of his misery permanently. "Dad can't face me himself so he sent you in to do the dirty work for him so they all get their way again, right?! You told him about California and he told you all about Mom, didn't he? This isn't about me not telling you about that job offer right away is it? BECAUSE I HAD NO INTENTION OF EVER KEEPING THAT FROM YOU, EDIT JANKO! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR DECISION TO MAKE TOGETHER! Apparently though you don't mind playing me at all. Do you feel sorry for me now too? Am I not in the right frame of mind again to make any kind of plans for myself? IS THAT WHAT HE TOLD YOU?!"

"No, Jamie… I mean yes... wait no!" Eddie stuttered softly as she chewed her lip nervously and turned to sink down in her cherished red chair… still the only seating in the now nearly empty living room area. "Yes, I told your Dad about the email, but not until after he stopped in to check on you because he saw how upset you were at the pier today…"

"Oh, God, this just keeps getting better and better," he railed while laughing at the whole madness this had turned into and got up to go lean on the opposite counter in front of the sink and stare out into the approaching darkness, "He followed me…"

"He was worried about you; we all were," Eddie offered in a defeated voice as she tried to come to terms with how badly she had royally screwed this up. Maybe detective work was out of her league because now she had managed to lose his trust anyway… something she had vowed just days ago not to do. "And he didn't follow you… Danny called him later when we couldn't get a hold of you and he went out to check because he thought you might have gone there to think. There _is_ a cop-killer still out there looking for you… he knew you were upset…"

"And assumed to be out playing in traffic and not paying attention…" Jamie muttered, still shaking his head. "You know I managed to drive there all by myself after circling around and checking for a tail, right? That I could still function like a cop and take care of myself while watching out for my family after being told all the problems in my life are because my mother puppeted me and died before I got the chance to tell her that made me angry?! That she thought so little of my abilities compared to everyone else it was worth it to do that to me in the end just to spare me from screwing up and getting myself killed?... the same as Dad now?!"

"That's not what he thinks, Jamie," Eddie replied softly as the tears had come and were flowing freely now as she sensed from the tone of his voice that she had crossed a line and hurt him deeply; still she wasn't quite done trying to save herself or ease the serious rift between father and son. "He knows he made a terrible mistake before and wants you to put it right by making your own decision here… all he wants is for you to do what makes you happy… he knows you love being a cop… he said you have a gift for it, and I think so too!"

"Why would he even care at this point?" he pondered as he purposefully ignored her personal input which mattered little now in the mood he was in. "He was disappointed when I gave up law… told me so once, did you know that?" he asked as he bit his lip, not even ashamed to add the next part. "It was right after I handed him back Mom's ring after Sydney walked out on me too… that same stone that's on your finger right now," he paused as they stayed in an uncomfortable silence for what she felt like was forever. "I don't even know why it was so important for me to use that again," he muttered. "Such a freaking bleeding heart just like Danny says… maybe that's what's contagious..."

"Don't Jamie," she pleaded in a whisper as she sensed what was coming, she had driven him into a corner with all these jabs and he was about to come out swinging with a knockout punch. " _Please, don't…_ I'm so sorry…"

"Tell you what, Ed," he finally advised as he turned around to look at her squarely and she saw that there were plain tear tracks flowing down his face as well. "I'll have three tickets for that plane on Monday… come with me and Kaylin or stay here in this house; it will be _your_ choice," he emphasized. "You decide what to do for once, and if you don't want to be with us or keep it, just hand it back to Dad and have a nice life," he uttered with a small choking noise as he nodded at the ring on her hand before grabbing his off-duty weapon from the lockbox along with his phone, wallet, keys and a light jacket before heading towards the door. "I don't want to be here anymore."

"Jamie, please! Wait! Oh God, don't leave! I want you to stay!" she begged as she jumped to her feet and ran after him as this whole plan had now backfired in spades. "Where are you going?… It's not safe for you out there!"

"It's dark and that Quinlan guy is blind as a bat," he replied flatly. "It's as safe as it's gonna get around here. Kaylin and I will be at the apartment… I've got packing to finish and stuff to put in storage now," he revealed without another look as the door opened and slammed shut behind him with such force one of the other small boxes that had been pulled from the top of the foyer closet earlier tipped over from the unsteady stack it was resting on and the contents spilled out over the floor, Eddie was sobbing herself as she walked over and collapsed to the ground before mindlessly starting to pick it up because she had no other idea of what to do with herself at that moment.

Once more a feeling of kismat washed over her as she turned over a handful of letters that had slipped out of an envelope and a couple of old antique hinged photo frames housing the unmistakable wedding portraits of the entire Reagan family thus far… Henry and Betty were paired in the first one she looked at and aside of that was a youthful-looking clean shaven Frank Reagan minus his trademark mustache although still beaming with his love Mary, a beautiful little petite brunette on his arm. The glass in the second set was cracked on both sides from its fall to the floor… there were Danny and Linda with Erin and her ex on the opposite side. Eddie took that as an indisputable sign from an indomitable old Irish Catholic woman whose spirit still looked over this house and the family attached to it from wherever she was now… clearly Grandma Betty was not pleased with the current strife in the family.

"I'm trying," Eddie spoke out loud to her as she sat crumpled on the floor with her own heart broken as she gazed at the cherished ring on her finger and the bits of history lying damaged before her. "I'm sure you're here and can see us. Please help me," she prayed. "I know they're all hurting… so am I and we have to somehow put the pieces back together again."

* * *

 _Ding ding, they've retreated to neutral corners. Is Eddie down for the count or will Jamie just throw it away and forfeit? Will there even be a Jamko wedding now in the fall? How will Eddie handle that ultimatum she just received and will Jamie and Kaylin be on that plane Monday morning? Next, it's time for Danny to turn it around and attempt a little counselling himself, and he will of course have some issues in managing that warm fuzzy stuff in his own way._


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

"Jamie?! Is that you?" Eddie called in a panic as she rushed from the bedroom where she'd spent the past two hours crying before making her way to the top of the landing to peer downstairs when she heard the front door opening, praying that he had come to his senses and brought Kaylin back so that they could sit down and talk things out after they'd both had a chance to cool off. Instead, she couldn't hide the disappointment in her face when she saw a concerned-looking Danny Reagan staring back up at her.

"He's not here?" he questioned as he took in her puffy eyes and tear-streaked face as a negative answer. "Oh, for Christ's sake what did he do now?" he asked with a heavy sigh. Just when he thought he had gotten somewhere with Linda and the boys, now apparently here was another major family personal crisis cropping up.

"He left, Danny," she answered and slowly descended to the middle step before plopping down in exhaustion and continuing with a defeated look on her face. "I… I think I really screwed up. We had a big fight, and he took Kaylin from your dad's house and went back to stay at the apartment with her."

"No, that's where he is… what did he _do?"_ Detective Danny repeated with a frown, fishing for some facts to base a response on.

"When he came home from Dr. Meherin, he was just so… crushed… I've never seen him like that before… I think she said something about him being mad at your mom before she died… and last night before you came he… well, he got a big offer from Spencer's company in California and agreed to fly out there on Monday for an interview," Eddie informed him with a sniffle and red-rimmed eyes as she clutched her phone while still praying for a text or call that said Jamie was on the way home. "I saw it by accident on his computer, but I didn't give him a chance to tell me about it before I got upset with him… and then he got upset with me for accusing him of hiding things when he was really gonna ask me about it when you weren't here, and he said it's about him not being able to be a cop anymore because no one trusts him, and then… well everything just snowballed to hell when he found out your dad told me about what happened with your mom," she rambled on and ended with a hitch as he just about managed to follow along with that bumpy circular trail of breadcrumbs.

"That bad?"

"Yeah, and throw in a couple of hard low punches from my mother about her not approving of him too," she admitted sadly. "It was awful!"

"Oy vey," Danny muttered as he swung himself around by the handrail and sat down a few steps below her, rubbing his neck and facing forward as he could only imagine what that was like since he knew the kid's triggers and that brief blathering summary had just about touched on all of them. Ironically, he was staring straight ahead at that noticeable indentation in the plaster of the wall he had helped create with a not-so-tiny nudge as his little brother was running away from him down these very stairs one day. He swore he could still hear the sickening thud when Jamie's small head hit the wall with enough force to make that mark and he had dropped down to the floor to lie perfectly still while bleeding all over the place for several frightening minutes before Grandpa had been called in from the back yard to scoop him up and run out the door in a panic to a waiting squad… and then came the burn on Danny's right ear from where Grandma Betty had latched on without mercy and dragged him into the kitchen to kneel down in the corner on the tile floor to wait for his father to arrive and reclaim him hours later after being summoned from the precinct to meet his wife and their youngest at the hospital. Jamie had received eight stitches and returned home with a huge egg-shaped bruise on the side of his head, not unlike what Eddie had recently been sporting, all the while happily chattering about his fast ride in the radio car with the lights and siren on and the double-dip ice cream waffle cone with sprinkles that a thoroughly shaken Grandpa Henry had bought for him afterwards. To this day if you asked Jamie about the incident, he would talk about that damn chocolate treat and the drive over in the backseat of an RMP on Henry's lap while Danny remembered nothing but the fact that he had a hard time sitting down for a few days afterwards. At what point had his brother lost that ability to bounce back from everything with a cheery "I'm fine!" his older sibling now wondered.

Another series of soft snivels caught his attention and brought him back to the present problem.

Eddie.

"Okay, so he walked out for tonight to go somewhere and chill," he advised as he caught back up. "That's not so bad... he does that to get away from conflict all the time, trust me. I've had to track him down myself the next day more often than I can count. Tomorrow morning you'll give him a call and go over and talk this out and you'll be fine."

"I don't think so," she disagreed as she rested her elbows on her knees and covered her eyes as the seemingly endless flow of tears started once more. "Not this time," she sniffled. "He told me it was my choice now since I wanted to be able to make one so badly… that he'd have three tickets for the plane or I could decide to stay here in this house otherwise… and if I didn't feel like being with them I could give the ring to your dad! Danny, I'm so scared now that he's not coming back because I think I forced him into this! I should have given him a chance to talk first, but I woke him up right out of a deep sleep and started in straight away before he even had a minute to realize what was happening because Pop and your father warned me about not letting him run away from this and I was so determined to be the one out in front! He said he was going to take Kaylin to the apartment to pack up the rest of his stuff and put it in storage..." she paused for a breath after that run as an alert beeped on her phone for a message and she looked at it in desperation.

"Good news?" Danny asked hopefully as he turned to look back at her. "Did he come to his senses?"

"NO!" Eddie cried after she scanned through it in disbelief. "Oh, well now this sucks too!" she bawled once more as she tapped the phone up against her forehead with a frightening amount of force. "What else can go wrong today? That was Marjorie Gaye… the family up on Harbor Terrace with the cat. She said that her husband's fed up with him and just took Marvin back to the shelter because they caught him trying to sneak out of the house again… she said if we want him to go pick him up there in three days or they'll put him down because they told him he's dangerous for attacking people and a chronic runaway so he won't get placed with anyone else! They're not even going to give him a chance! How unfair is that?!"

"Oh," Danny tried his best to sound sympathetic although he honestly still hadn't recovered from the smack attack earlier that morning and continued to hold a grudge… there would be no reason in his mind to lose sleep over the fact that good old Marvin was headed for that big 'ol litter box in the sky, but he didn't want to come off as crass and uncaring while she was upset so he tried to cover. "He's, uh… well, he's a nice-looking... big, you know... cat. I'm sure someone else will adopt him like before… and hopefully that someone that lives up in the Bronx," he added under his breath as he considered it good riddance for the pesky feline that had scared the holy bejesus out of him with that pounce and glare.

"But Kaylin _loves_ him!" Eddie sobbed uncontrollably as she got up and rushed down the rest of the steps prior to heading for the kitchen and frantically pawing through one of the newly organized cabinets before pulling out a full bottle of single malt that Henry had sent them off with the other day as a housewarming present. "I can't do this Danny! I can't lose them!" she declared now firmly in a bona fide panic attack as he watched her crack the seal and splash half the big tumbler full before taking a big hit of it straight.

"Hey, easy there!" he advised with a gasp as she went back for a second almost immediately. "Eddie, slow down! Pop only buys the good stuff, okay? That's enough!" he warned as he walked over and carefully slid the bottle away from her. "I'll join you for a drink but you've gotta promise me you'll take a breath here," he added worriedly as he grabbed a glass and poured a much more reasonable amount for himself. "Jesus, this must be the day for big family showdowns, but I was coming in to thank you for your advice on Linda… I got her to agree to the date thing for Saturday night."

"Really?" Eddie huffed as she looked over while the warm feeling from the whiskey was already spreading through her insides and she did manage to take a few more deep breaths that weren't bordering on hyperventilating.

"Yeah," Danny replied, pleased that he had distracted her momentarily, and the waterworks seemed to have slowed down, thank God, as he was so far out of his wheelhouse with this emotional stuff, plus it just made him incredibly uncomfortable to watch women in the family cry like that, and here she was the second one of the day. "Now, I just gotta figure out how to pull this off," he continued in an even voice since it seemed to be somewhat calming and he was at a loss for what else to do… surely a hug would be awkward and out of order given the circumstances of the two of them alone and drinking in the house together. "I mean do I just take her to the movies? What's playing that's a good chick flick?"

"No, Danny! It needs... to be... t-the s-same to work!" Eddie slurred slightly as she struggled just a bit to maintain focus as the sudden influx of alcohol flirted with her brain. "You need to take her to that spot on the corner of 10th Street and University Place and kiss her, then go and see _The Cider House Rules,_ and get pizza in the same place as before."

"Eddie, that theatre doesn't even exist anymore… it's a Starbuck's now, and that movie is from the 90's."

"Well then close… New York University is right there so somebody's gotta have a gigantic big screen in an amphitheater or something they're not using and you can get a DVD or Netflix it, right? C'mon Danny… you gotta have some kind of pull and put some effort into this! If it was easy, it would be easy," she nodded at her own logic, which appeared to make perfect sense to her at that point even in a now completely puddled state. "Get Jamie's buddy Dave from TARU to rig something up for you… he's gonna be here tomorrow," she added sadly as she realized that there was probably little need for that security system for the house now. "Maybe I should call him and tell him not to bother…" she sighed as despite her grief a warm fuzziness was settling down on her. "Look what I found today," she added sadly as she bounced immediately to another topic while pulling the loose wedding portraits down off the counter. "That's you and Linda," she pointed out the complete obvious as he shook his head at her most serious sounding revelation; between the stress and everything else Pop had indeed hit her with the good stuff. "The glass broke!" she sniffed on. "They were on a shelf in the closet over there. You should make it the last page in your book!" she wept openly once more with that disunited thought.

"Oh, I remember these," Danny commented as he pulled down the frame with his parents and grandparents in it. "Grandma had them front and center on a table by the window over there," he reminisced. "She always said family was first and that a successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person," he quoted. "Mignon McLaughlin, I think."

"Oh, God! Is _that_ where your dad gets it from?!" Eddie whined as her head sunk down on the counter in defeat.

"Yeah, and just look at them," Danny agreed as he stared at the set of his elders' photos. "It seemed like those generations had all the answers, didn't they?" he sighed. "The whole 'til death do us part bit, and look at us… Grandma Betty must be rolling over in her grave right now… all these years after she passed, and this house was trashed, Erin's divorced, I'm halfway there and Jamie's…"

" _GONE!"_ came the sobbing exhausted reply from the petite blond who had met her match in a heavy rapidly consumed quantity of single malt and could no longer lift her head off the counter. "Danny, I wanna keep falling in love with him!... Kaylin won't call me mommy now and WE WON'T EVER GET A PICTURE LIKE THAT OF OUR OWN!" The hysterical high pitch was back in her voice.

 _Oops, so much for taking her mind off things,_ he grimaced. _I really do suck at this._

"Ahem," he cleared his throat and clarified. "I was gonna say he's a cop."

"He's not that now _EITHER!"_ she wailed back once more to remind him.

"Okay, slugger I'm cutting you off… you're starting to talk crap," he advised as he carefully picked her up from her heap and guided her back towards the steps. "You are going to go upstairs right now and sleep this off and pull yourself back together. Tomorrow morning I'm gonna go have a talk with my little brother and we'll straighten all this out, okay?"

"Promise?" she whimpered.

"I promise," Danny vowed although at that point in time he had seriously underestimated the depth of hurt that Jamie was dealing with right now and the fact that a fix was not going to come as easily as that.

###

"Harvard! What the eff are you doing here?" Danny demanded as he let himself into Jamie's apartment without so much as a knock early the following day… the sensitive, tactful approach he had attempted with Eddie already thrown out the window… this was his Reagan family pig-headed-gene-bearing brother that he was dealing with now after all.

"Good morning to you too, sunshine," Jamie shot back at the expected visitor with an equal growl from his spot on the floor near the empty entertainment center where he was busily labelling boxes with a thick black permanent marker. After another nightly marathon session he had just about managed to completely pack and order the remaining contents of the apartment, and unknown to Danny or anyone else, a moving service was already contracted to take all of their things over to a local storage facility that very afternoon. "You can drop off your spare key on the counter… you won't be needing it anymore and there's a little girl here so watch your language!" he warned with a flashing glance. Luckily Kaylin was sitting on the couch with her headphones on watching a Disney movie on the tablet so she missed the content of her uncle's rather colorful entry.

"Yeah, well… that's kinda my point!" Danny continued. "You two are over here and Eddie's sitting at the house crying over you, Kaylin and now that damn cat, too!"

"The cat?" Jamie's pen paused in mid-letter at the inclusion of that unexpected wildcard.

He knew that Eddie was obviously upset given the wave of texts and messages that sat unanswered and for the most part unread on his phone, but he had a sudden sinking feeling that Marvin's little nightly jaunts through the streets had caught up with him under the wheels of some speeding SUV.

"He's back at the shelter," Danny informed him. "Those damn people up the street dropped him off with a note that said he was dangerous and Eddie said they're gonna put him down on Monday now."

"Oh, that's too bad," Jamie commented as he shot a look over to make sure that Kaylin hadn't picked up on that tidbit but she was happily singing away to a Nemo song. Poor Marvin, but that was out of his hands; they were leaving and there was no way he could tackle another problem right now. "Why's she upset, anyway? She hates cats."

"You know, for somebody as smart as you, you sure are thick as a brick sometimes," Danny offered a familiar observation before sighing and plopping down in the comfy leather chair as Kaylin finally took notice to his presence and waved excitedly at him as he smiled back at her.

"Pot calling kettle," Jamie retorted in an uninterested timbre as he finished and straightened out the last stack. There. This place was finally back in order, ready to be emptied and he was feeling better about this decision all the time… well except for the Eddie part of it but that had been tucked away securely in that lockbox and hermetically sealed for at least the next few days until she made her decision, and until then he was determined to remain firmly walled off from everyone else.

Danny might not have all the answers, but he could read his brother as well as anyone and was thoroughly worried now. There was a flatness about him that he hadn't seen since… well since that night at the hospital when their mother had passed just an hour or so after Jamie and Joe had arrived back from Boston. The kid had bottled everything up so tightly that time it had taken weeks to start to leach out and a panicked redeye flight back to the school for Joe when the frantic call came from Spencer to inform them of Jamie's nearly fatal little nighttime jaunt out into the busy street.

Now there was no Joe and Jamie seemed to be driven to pick himself up and move clear across the country away from all of them, and the only one who could possible help was being used as a pawn in an ultimate chess match battle being waged by their father to get him to stay.

And then there was still that not-so-little matter of Jared Quinlan and the target he had placed on these two that were before him, with Danny no closer to knowing where that bastard was then he had been a week ago. He wasn't sure that Jamie and Kaylin would be safe even out in California, and it worried him that no one would have their backs if they were alone out there.

"So you're really not gonna talk to me about it, are you?" he asked softly before offering a final plea. "You should stay."

"Why?" came the heavy sigh.

"Because you're the best cop I know. That's why."

"Nope, I'm done fighting it… fighting him," Jamie replied evenly after a long pause while adding a parting shot as he walked past and picked up Kaylin before disappearing back into the bedroom. "I'm either good enough to do my job in all of your eyes, or I'm not... and it doesn't seem like that's even a close call right now. Besides, you always wanted me to be a lawyer, right?… It was worth everything, no matter the cost back then, wasn't it? So what's wrong with it now? My whole life I was the fragile one that needed to be protected, remember? Well you've all finally got your wish. The rest is up to Eddie, but now thanks to everything she just sees me like a broken toy too, same as everyone else and she's either coming with me or she's staying. I can't do this here anymore, Danny… I can't pretend like what happened doesn't matter. I've tried for years and it just messes everything up, eventually. Go home and fix your own problems."

"I meant what I said, Jamie. I was wrong all that time and I'm sorry if I've made you feel different because that's the truth."

The silence that followed confirmed it was finally time to concede that this situation was well above his paygrade now, just as it had been before and he knew it was time to bring in the master himself or it would be checkmate for sure.

* * *

 _Ruh-roh. From the Urban Dictionary: Scooby Doo's comedic mispronunciation of "Uh Oh", it is also a play on potentially dire situations, usually starting with a minor event that could escalate into something huge._

 _Yup, that applies here. Will a guilt-ridden Eddie cave and go to the airport or will she have enough faith in someone else to be able to convince her to hang tight? Is there one more move yet to be played that might bring our little group of lovebirds back together or will two or three of them fly away? How will Danny's date night go, and where exactly has Quinlan been in all of this mess? Feels like forever since he's made his slimey presence known, but unfortunately for someone under the Reagan family umbrella that bad temper will prove to have fatal consequences soon. So many more chapters yet to come!_


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

6:25 Sunday morning.

It was less than forty-eight hours after his chat with Danny, and Jamison and Kaylin Elizabeth Reagan were officially in the wind… nowhere to be found in the entire city. The apartment was standing empty now, with just a note and a set of keys to a storage locker left behind. Eddie was curled up in bed at the house clutching a pillow and listening to a pounding rainstorm sheeting torrents down on her newly refinished roof as lighting and thunder flashed, an atmosphere which completely complimented her mood while some not-so-soft snoring noises wafted up the steps. Danny had been out late last night on his highly-anticipated date with Linda and while part of her was dying to know how it went, the other part of her was just plain dying inside.

She cursed herself inwardly for the thousandth time for the fight that didn't have to be… for the fact that she hadn't immediately gone back to find them the very minute Danny came home Friday to report that Jamie was indeed packing up and planning to leave along with the shocking news that a sitrep of those facts delivered immediately and in person to one Francis Xavier Reagan by an agitated older son had failed to incite any action from the Police Commissioner and worried father except for an unofficial stay-away order to the rest of the family which Eddie had finally broken yesterday afternoon the second Danny had left to go set up for his movie encounter. Her heart had been pounding out of her chest when she exited the familiar elevator and hurried down the hall towards the apartment, stopping only for a quick knock on the door before turning the keys in the locks and opening it to a shocking sight… a completely empty, clean and broom-swept space.

They were both gone along with everything else.

Eddie had wandered inside in disbelief, her eyes alighting on the only two things out of place… a keyring and an envelope propped up on top of the counter and addressed to "Lambchop" in Jamie's neat script. Afraid to reveal what it said, she had stared at it for a full five minutes before conceding to her curiosity and picking it up to pull a plain folded card, a printed e-ticket and another small pink paper out. She flipped open the card first which contained a simple, but now-familiar message.

 _Edit Katalin Janko hopefully soon-to-be Reagan_

 _We need you._

 _LGA gate D-10, 9:50 on Monday. J & K_

"Oh, Jamison Reagan," she had cried as she clutched the contents and turned to slide her back down the wall to collapse on the empty floor. "We all need you… please don't go anywhere." She frantically tried one last text to him with the same message and it immediately came back labeled 'undeliverable' as Jamie had turned his phone off to prevent being found before that set rendezvous since he knew very well if he saw her or anyone else prior to that he had no prayer of following through with his plan. Frustrated now, she had angrily looked at the remaining papers… a ticket in her name for the flight as promised, and what she supposed was a concession if the answer was no… the keys and a receipt with directions to a storage facility not too far from where their once dream house now stood silent.

A house she would now occupy alone but for the temporary presence of another Reagan brother who was downstairs and apparently sleeping fitfully… surely even Danny must have some good news on the love front given his current peaceful slumbering state.

A sudden flash of intense light that enveloped the room followed by an almost immediate choking crash of thunder which rocked the ground solved that problem as she heard Danny start with a mild curse and soon the sounds of the coffeemaker being turned on with a gentle gurgle replaced the snoring. Eddie's thoughts were now on a tiny little girl though that hated loud noises and under any other circumstances would have been curled up in bed between them with the covers pulled up and the two wrapped around her like bookends to make her feel safe. This morning though there would only be one with her and Eddie desperately worried if Kaylin was feeling scared and lonely too without her being there.

In her mind now there was no doubt where she would be at 9:50 tomorrow morning… on a plane bound for California with the two greatest loves of her life. As much as she wanted to stay in New York, there was nothing here for her without them, and she wasn't convinced if he remained that Jamie would be Jamie anymore as the hurt he had hidden away from his family all these years was now apparently on full display after being unlocked by Dr. Meherin and this awful situation with Jared Marcus Quinlan. She knew on top of everything else he was in mortal fear for Kaylin's safety and the best Eddie could hope for now was that distance and time might offer him a chance to heal and they could come back one day once that threat was over.

Not that she really believed that.

Jamie would never be Jamie again if he ran away from being a Reagan either.

"Eddie, are you alright?" Danny's soft inquiry from the doorway startled her and snapped her out of her introspection… she hadn't heard him come up the steps. "This sure is some storm," he offered as the angry skies continued to unleash their fury. "We're supposed to get bands of this every few hours until tomorrow night."

"I'm fine," she lied with a half smile that came nowhere near her eyes. "How did it go?"

"Oh, last night? Good… I think, well okay at least, better," he clarified as he thought back to the evening before. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so nervous to walk Linda out to the car. He had dropped the boys off at the family home here in Bay Ridge after retrieving them from a friend's house and soccer game and then drove all the way back out to Staten Island on a return trip so that he could pick his wife up properly alone at 6:30 as promised. The cold wall between them had given way just a little to a bit of anxious tension as it had indeed felt like a first date night between the two again and their hearts were both fluttering a little. She had been a little put off when he parked the car and walked her up 10th a few blocks until the intersection with University, but they had held hands and while the resulting kiss had proven to be a little rushed and awkward, Linda started to catch on to what he was doing at that point and just a bit of her resistance came down. By the time they had strolled through the campus and let themselves into an unlocked door of a small, seldom-used lecture hall, she was smiling again and he had taken a selfie of the two of them with his arm around her as they sat alone in the dark large space with a couple of waiting bags of popcorn and sodas. Danny had managed to bribe an AV major with a hundred bucks to set things up and leave the necessary equipment with a DVD of the movie they both remembered. A few slices at Mario's down the way when that was over and he had driven her home and walked her to the door of the house for a goodnight kiss that was much more passionate than the first one on the street corner had been. All in all, Eddie's plan had worked to near perfection and had left them both feeling a bit better about things when they had parted there on the stoop. It was still too soon for anything else.

"Thank you," he added as she blinked back at him from the bed, hoping to live vicariously through the details but he kept them private for the most part now. "We're going to church as a family together this morning out on the island," he revealed which spoke volumes, anyway. "She's still not ready to face anyone here."

"Oh, Danny… I'm so happy for you," Eddie offered before bursting into tears once again herself. "I'm sorry," she apologized as she sniffled some more and added to the heap of tissues on the nightstand. "I just miss them," she added in a bare whisper.

"I know the feeling," he offered as he came in the room and sat on the far corner of the bed.

"Yeah, well, you better get moving if you're going to make it there on time with this weather," she reminded him as he watched her sadly. "Don't be late."

"He'll be back," Danny tried to assure. "He won't leave you."

"I'm going with them tomorrow," she revealed with another sob and blow of the nose. "I can't take that chance… I tried, I really did… but I can't stop him now, and he's always been there for me when I needed him, no matter what... and I dared tell him that he was treating me like I was unimportant. This is all my fault!"

"No, Eddie… it's not… and it's not his either, but he's running away. You can't let him do that, although I honestly don't know how to stop him at this point without Dad. He has to deal with this though or he'll never come out the other side of it... trust me, just look at Linda. If he faces it and still wants to leave, then I say go out to be in California and start a new life and be happy if that's what you both agree is best, but please... I don't want to lose another brother."

"You know I was thinking this is kinda weird," she continued. "I want to stay here and be a Reagan and have Jamie stay a cop, and Linda doesn't want you to be a cop anymore. Maybe we should do one of those wife swaps, huh?"

"You think that would work?" he laughed.

"Not for a second," she admitted with a small smirk. "Could you give up being a cop for her?"

"Yes," he said with hesitation as he chewed his lip and looked at the ground before rubbing the back of his head. "If I had to, and it came down to that… I'd give up my life for my family, but eventually I would resent her for leaving the job if it was just about what we are going through now… the same as you might."

"Do you think Jamie could ever really be happy being a lawyer?"

"Harvard? I think if he had to… maybe somewhere like at 1PP in the legal department where it was still all about the NYPD. Yes, I think he could be happy there and probably one day take over dad's chair… but out west being a corporate moneymaker… not a chance," he concluded. "It's in his blood to be here like the rest of us. He would have been better off if we had all realized that a long time ago," he admitted with a long pause to make sure she was still coping. "I gotta go pick up Sean and Jack or I'll be late..." he trailed off. "You really gonna be alright here alone today?"

"I don't know anymore, Danny," she answered with her big sad doe-eyed look. "I just don't know."

###

"Francis Reagan!" Henry thundered in the same mood as the angry heavens as he jerkily paced around the kitchen of the family home a few blocks up the way a short time later. Danny had just left with the boys so his grandfather was free to express his thoughts now. "Of all the pig-headed, stubborn… and Betty used to wonder where Danny got it from… you mean to tell me you're really going to let your youngest son take Kaylin and move out to California without another word to him? Now Danny is saying that Eddie is planning on going too… if she does that we're gonna lose the three of them unless you get down off that damn high horse you've been sitting on all week and go be a father to that boy! He's making a big mistake!"

"Pop! Keep your voice down! Aren't you the one that said I didn't have the right to make decisions like that for Jamie anymore… that none of us do? That I had to let him go in order to get him back? Funny I could swear those were your very words just last week!" Frank retorted with a heavy frown although in truth this whole situation now was just crushing him from the inside out and he hadn't slept a wink the night before since being informed that Jamie had taken Kaylin away into virtual hiding from them. The fact that he was sitting at the table uncharacteristically still dressed in his pajamas with no intention of getting up and ready for church bore witness to that… Frank Reagan never missed Sunday mass unless the whole city was under siege, but his heart was just too broken this day to face anyone else. Today there would only be Erin and Nicki over for dinner as Danny was having the meal at home with Linda and the boys, Eddie was too distraught and the others were… absent.

"Yeah, and I also said you're gonna have to try to fix this when he's ready to listen!" his father reminded adamantly.

"Do you really think he's going to hear me given the fact that he chose to disappear like he did? I don't even know what to say," Frank admitted. "He wouldn't talk to me the other night when he came to pick up Kaylin and he thinks I have no faith in him anymore, and now with all of this stirred up about what happened with Mary... how do I get that back?"

"Well sometimes a kick in the ass is worth a thousand words, Francis!" Henry insisted.

"You think that's what he needs from me right now, Pop?"

"NO! I think that's what _you_ need from _me!"_ the older man berated as he turned around in a huff again, his spectacles practically steaming and his hair still a messy tousle from sleep. "If your mother was here she would be dragging you down to that airport tomorrow morning by the ear to stop him! If you don't go, so help me I'll do just that… I swear to you in front of God and on Betty's grave! This has gone on long enough!" he roared in once-famous Henry Reagan fashion. "I will not have this family torn apart any further like that!"

Of that Frank had little doubt, and he subconsciously rubbed his right ear remembering the many times in his younger life when it had received that exact treatment from a stern Irish hand.

"Okay, Pop, I'll try," Frank finally conceded softly as he absentmindedly stirred his coffee after a long thoughtful pause, and dared one glance up at his father with glassy eyes and tightly pursed lips as he had dreaded this very conversation like only one other since that terrible night more than eight years ago now.

"GOOD!" Henry bellowed back, his notable temper now on full display. "Now you're _finally_ talking some sense! Before you go, you'll drop me over at the house. We've gotta stop Eddie from meeting him there somehow… it's the only thing that will hold him long enough for you to get through to him."

"I still don't know what to say to him though."

"Just tell him you love him, Francis… but you can't leave it at that now."

* * *

 _So we are now set for the big showdown at the airport, as Jamie will be nervously waiting to see if Eddie will come to California with him while fully expecting some resistance from the family, namely a pushy older brother who shall maintain his distance on direct orders. Will Henry be able to hold Eddie to her promise and keep her away as she is panicked now and carrying guilt herself over the situation while she has lost much of her trust in Frank's ability to fix what is broken with his son? Don't forget about poor Marvin… er, Bear, who is getting ready to take that long last stroll down the corridor through no fault of his own, perhaps an old nemesis may step in and save him instead? Nah, don't see that happening, sorry!_


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Monday, 7:10 am

"Eddie, you can't do this," Danny pestered as he followed her around the downstairs like a hound dog as she hurried to pack just a few more things for the trip including a some of Kaylin's favorite books before she stuffed the plane ticket in her purse and hopped back and forth while she pulled her cutest boots over her socks and jeans before zipping them up.

"I have to, Danny," she answered as she went through a mental checklist in her head, made more difficult by the fact that she had no real idea of how long they would be staying. "I need to get his trust back," she added, and given the fact that Jamie had boxed up just about every aspect of his life that wasn't in this house and put it in storage, it appeared he didn't have many intentions on coming back anytime soon. "I can't lose them. If I go with him we can talk again and maybe I can change his mind that way before he does anything permanent, but this… it didn't work. I screwed up and I need to fix it, okay?"

A knock at the front startled her once more, and she turned and ripped the door open on its hinges as soon as she noticed that familiar outline on the porch again. This time there were two present as Henry and Frank were both standing there with slightly pensive guilty looks on their faces as if they were trying to coordinate a game plan they knew was not going to go over well.

"Come in," she sighed as she turned around and glared at Danny with a 'I know you called them and you're so dead' look and all three Reagan men knew to approach this situation with extreme caution as there was little doubt in any of their minds right now that Edit Janko had indeed inherited her mother's ability to take them all down in her heels without breaking a sweat.

"Eddie," Henry started in a predetermined order as she had an obvious soft spot for the older man and he intended to use that to his full advantage in an effort to accomplish their goal. "Sweetheart…"

"Don't," she warned as she cut him off, already knowing where this was headed. "Pop, I know what I promised, and I tried… I really did!" she turned around with her eyes flashing. "But it didn't work! I should have just listened to him… I _will_ listen to him now, but I have to go in order to do that! I need to be with them… you have to understand!"

"Edit," Frank tried a more formal approach. "Do you trust me?"

"Frank, please… I do, but…"

"Trust me. Stay here and let me go. I swear to you I will tell him what your intentions are and if I can't bring them back, I'll have you out to them on the next flight possible. If you're there he'll never hear me and these are things that should have been said years ago. Please Eddie, give me a chance to talk to my boy. If he leaves now I might never get another, and he needs to know that this is one decision that's his to make alone."

###

9:20 am

Jamison Reagan waited... isolated on a row of seats in a back corner near a secluded window down the way from Gate 10 at the Laguardia airport, watching despondently as another round of heavy thunderstorms rolled through the area and dispatched wave after wave of thick rain across the runways. It was no surprise to him when a blinking line on one of the many omnipresent updating monitors indicated that their non-stop flight to San Diego was now delayed just before the first boarding calls would have been issued. It didn't matter though, he thought as he rested his chin on the top of Kaylin's head as she was snuggled up facing against him on his lap napping after their early-morning rise and shine to get breakfast at the hotel they had been staying. He had planned it well so they were ferried off to the airport to make it through security in a timely fashion after he secured his car at a long-term parking garage; their bags checked, and a carefully packed carry-on with ample toddler distractions sitting nearby. The only thing he hadn't anticipated was Kaylin dropping his phone in the lobby this morning and cracking the housing a little so that the charger wouldn't seat, but it still powered up so he could keep it off to conserve the battery and worry about replacing that later. There was only one thing that mattered anyway.

Eddie wasn't coming.

 _She would have been here by now,_ he admitted to himself finally as a heavy ripple of sadness rushed through him and he swallowed back the emotion before it could become apparent to everyone else. He second-guessed his decision to fly out for this interview for the thousandth time, but in the end he was left with the same unanswered dilemma of how to keep this little girl safe and his sanity intact here in New York with Jared Quinlan still on the loose and a family and now fiancée that had seemed to doubt his very ability to do just that… the family he could take, after all he'd faced that before his whole life… but when Eddie had apparently joined sides with them, it was just too much, and the last strike for the...

 _Toothpick versus armour_ … guess they were right all along and he finally snapped.

And they weren't alone, Sydney had been on target too, he mused… all those years ago now. She was right on the money when she had handed back that ring and walked off so she didn't have to witness it in person… that's the kind of faith he inspired in people.

Jamie was still sitting there with his back to the world quietly contemplating his own personal universe and its problems when he sensed, rather than heard, a familiar looming presence behind him. Perfect timing as always.

"How did you even get in here when you don't have a ticket?" he sighed without turning around and resolved himself to the answer… the same consistent expected damn answer to a question like that...

"I'm the Police Commissioner."

"Right, and how could I forget that?" Jamie asked but did not make eye contact as he continued to search the distance while Frank stepped around and took a seat quietly next to him in a move oddly reminiscent of all those talks they had shared on that bench at the pier. "Guess you probably ordered these storms to roll in and delay things, too."

"No, but you were expecting someone else, I take it," Frank edged in carefully as he longed to do nothing more than hug his hurting son and hold his granddaughter but he kept himself separate for now.

"More like hoping… she didn't come, so I guess that's my answer," Jamie choked out despite his resolve to conceal that grief and a few tears dared wash over to the corner of his eyes without spilling. Some things were just too big and couldn't be stuffed away in that box fast enough.

"No, son," Frank admitted. "She didn't come because she loves you so much that she's willing to risk everything… absolutely _everything_ for you. She believes in you more than you could possibly understand, and she knows in her heart that this is not what will make you happy," he paused. "Jamie, she feels guilty that you were backed into a corner unfairly here."

"Then why isn't she here telling me that herself?"

"Because I asked her not to."

Jamie could do nothing more than laugh at the exquisite irony of that answer at first. "Here we go. I guess _you_ are the ultimate puppet master now… there's nothing in my life that's off limits is there? What's next? Huh? Is it Kaylin? Am I gonna lose the ability to make decisions for her too? Just try it, Dad… you'll never see us ever again."

"Please," Frank sighed as he searched for the right approach. "Jamie… this is not that. I came here to apologize to you, because Eddie wasn't the one that backed you into this corner… I did, and it started before you were ever born."

"We don't need to go down that road again, Dad. It's old news."

"I have regrets, son," Frank admitted as he watched a renewed storm cell blaze with erratic bursts of lightning across the tarmac and the resulting heavy claps of thunder caused the lights in the building to flicker while Kaylin stirred and switched her face to the other side of Jamie's chest although she remained asleep, feeling safe and protected in her father's arms. The same could not be said for his own child right now.

"Did you ever regret what we do… what it meant for your children?" Jamie asked on another tack as he thanked God once more for the little girl's presence in his life; she was the only one holding him together right now. "Mom did."

"Yes of course," Frank admitted as he flashed back to those thoughts he'd had when Joe had died and just last week when Baker had rushed into the room and told him that Jamie had been shot in that RMP and was likely. "Many times, especially when one of you were hurt by something… when we lost Joe… last week when I thought we had lost you."

"Then maybe she was right… about that after all… about me."

"Jamie... you know," Frank sighed. "When you decided to give up the law and become a cop as I told you once before… I was... disappointed. You knew how much your mom wanted to keep you out of the family business, and... I felt that... the least I could do was see that Mary's wish was honored. But as I said before it wasn't my decision to make," he paused and choked up. "And it wasn't your mom's, but what I never told you was my biggest regret is the fact that we did try to make that choice for you at a terrible cost… it wasn't right what happened and I know that… I just couldn't go against her wishes, Jamie… at the time I wasn't thinking straight and my heart was breaking with losing her, but if I had realized the price that you would continue to pay all these years later… I should have known," he finished nodding and pursing his lips as he leaned his elbows on his knees and stared at the cracks in the floor. "She truly believed that she had enough time to explain and make it right with you... _we_ thought we had the time... Jamie, your mom never intended to let things end like that. She was so proud of you… you were her lifeline after some very dark days before you came to us… she battled a terrible depression after she lost those two pregnancies and we were told there would be no more, and then you came to her like a gift from God..."

"A fragile gift," Jamie finally whispered as his eyes hit the floor once more.

"No," Frank responded adamantly as he dared take his first glance over at Jamie's face to see that the tears had indeed finally fought their way out of his heart and were falling on his little sleeping girl's pigtails. "That's what we allowed ourselves to think, and you made it easy because you wanted to please us more than the others and you were so smart and perceptive for a little boy, but in truth you were the strongest from the start… you made it when others didn't, but now… now it's time for you to stop carrying that feeling, son, and time for all of us to admit we were wrong for asking you to do it."

"Dr. Meherin says I'm angry because I never got the chance to tell Mom something in the end," Jamie admitted softly. "That I had that chance taken away from me… that I _hated_ her because I never got to say…" he closed up and could not continue.

"What was it Jamie?" Frank prodded with a breaking heart as he relived that tragic night once more and cursed himself for the enduring pain it had caused. "Please tell me now, I'm so sorry that I never asked to listen before…"

"I was quitting," his youngest finally revealed in a breaking whisper. "All those years it had taken me to work up the courage to tell the both of you… I was planning on quitting law at the end of that term and coming home to apply for the academy…" he sniffed. "Joe had already helped me. He was the only one that believed…" he sobbed silently. "And then Mom was gone and I couldn't go through with it… she made Joe promise to see me through Harvard and I couldn't bring myself to do it until he was gone too because I couldn't go against him either…"

"Don't be angry with your mother anymore," Frank begged as he was glad they were having this overdue talk away from the general mix of people milling around the terminal since his emotions were on his sleeve as well. "Please don't hate her for that, not Mary… she only had love in her heart for you after the other pain she had to bear, and I put so much of that on her myself with what she saw me face on the job; I wasn't there for her like I should have been. Let that go, son, please forgive her for that… be angry at me. I'm the one that allowed this to go on since the beginning and beyond her… I saw what was happening and never stepped in, she didn't even realize what she was doing, not until it was too late… I should have never kept that news away from you, but I did because I think I wanted to keep you safe as well. You're so much like her… it was like holding a piece of Mary close to me…"

"I don't think I can forgive," Jamie breathed as Frank's heart fell at that revelation. "All these years… Dr. Meherin is wrong. I never hated mom, and I don't hate you, Dad," Jamie revealed. "It was me… I hated myself for not being good enough to be a real Reagan… you were all Marines and cops. I was a weak bookworm that fell down the stairs all the time, let myself get beat up and didn't fight back."

"Jamie… no!" Frank gasped as he realized the true toll all of this had taken… what they had rooted in him all those years ago had taken hold and the boy believed that it was his own fault, that he was weak… and now his father might be too late his efforts to weed it out before it poisoned things again.

"Maybe I was never strong enough to stand up for myself," Jamie continued as the stress of the last few weeks and the heartache of Eddie not showing up had taken a heavy penalty, and even though he could hear what his father was trying to tell him, there just wasn't room for that final piece to fall into place yet. "I shouldn't have waited so long to tell you in the first place or none of this would have happened, 'cause Danny would have never done that… and now with the way I've screwed things up with Eddie. I tried to do the same thing that mom did to me… to make the decision for her because it would be easier for me if she and Kaylin were away from here and safe. I'm no better than anyone else, and right now I just don't feel like I have any fight left in me, Dad…"

"Jamie, you're just exhausted, son… anyone would be with what you've gone through the past few weeks..."

"This shooter, I'm so scared for them I can't sleep at night when I'm in that house," Jamie continued. "If anything happened to either… too many times… being a lawyer would just be easier… I don't think I can take anymore. And maybe Eddie _should_ stay a Janko… look at what being a Reagan has brought to me and now Kaylin too… if our name was Smith none of this would be happening… nothing would have been in the papers and they would be safe. Lieutenant Carson and that jogger would be alive and Rodgers would be walking."

Frank Reagan had to sadly admit that the boy sitting before him had taken an emotional beat down over the course of his short life with heavy personal losses with whoever he had been closest to… Mary, Joe, Vinny… indeed if anything would happen to Eddie or Kaylin...

"Please don't doubt yourself now, son," Frank begged. "You're talking crap, and I know I've put that on you too… I was trying to fix _this_... what happened with your mother when I asked Renzulli to pull your badge… I wanted you to be mad at me so this all finally came out and you didn't push it away again, but I had no idea it was going to wind up being about this man coming after you and…" the name could not be said as the precious little girl was lying there aside of him and it drove a stake straight through his heart to think that she was in any danger as well. "It's the same, Jamie. I keep finding myself trying to protect you when I know you're strong enough to do it yourself. That's _my_ problem and one I intend to address. You'll have your badge back now and we will find him as a family… all of us, and keep you, Eddie and Kaylin safe in the meantime… you have my word. Don't walk away from what and who you love over this."

"I'm so tired though, Dad…" Jamie admitted as he closed his eyes and slouched back. "As soon as something good happens, something bad is right around the corner… just like Nicki said."

"You are holding what's good, Jamie," Frank offered as he could see the conflict radiating off of his son as the part that wanted to stay battled with the part that felt it had no choice but to go. Still there was so much that Jamie had accomplished that perhaps he wasn't seeing... "Why is it you find it so hard to take credit for the good you have done, and so easy to accept the guilt for the bad in others' hearts? Suppose you had never taken Kaylin in, she would be with that man, is that a better option in your opinion? What about the EDP commission you've set up that has already saved lives and is catching the eye of people in Washington, or the injured and disabled cops you helped in the Denison investigation? And that's all despite the roadblocks that have been put up in your way."

"I don't know," Jamie admitted as no matter what his father had to say now, there was one enormous hole that would never be filled unless there was a certain blond-haired firecracker in it... "Maybe it's already too late. I really messed up with Eddie, Dad."

"For the two of you? Never," Frank assured as he sensed a slight shift in attitude and that just maybe he had the opportunity here finally to turn the boy around. "Trust me, it took everything Pop had to keep her from leaving this morning. She was coming with you, son… she was packed and ready to give up everything for you, but she stayed back so you could step out of the corner we all painted you into... to give you the choice to stay or go on your own now. I promised her if you decided to leave that I would have her on the next flight out to you. Search your heart, Jamie… what is it that you want to do?" he asked but no answer was forthcoming as an announcement interrupted their conversation.

"Good morning passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for United flight 716 from Laguardia to San Diego. Our apologies for the brief weather delay, but the storm has now lifted and our aircraft is approaching the gate. We will be inviting passengers with small children and any passengers requiring special assistance to come forward and begin boarding first in just a few minutes."

"That's us," Jamie admitted as his decision was made with the knowledge that Eddie had been willing to follow him and he sat up at last to look Frank in the eye while his father's heart sank with the next words as it became apparent it wasn't the choice he had been praying for. "We've got to go, and I'm sorry Dad, but I don't have a lot of time to explain why. I'll call you and Eddie just as soon as I can."

"Son, see this thing out with Quinlan here," Frank begged as Kaylin woke up with the movement and smiled at him excitedly after rubbing her eyes. "I promise you I will do my best to get over my own shortcomings, but if you can't trust that after all this time… I'll understand."

"I know," Jamie sighed as he handed the little girl over to her grandfather for a hug goodbye. "And I'll talk to you a little bit later, okay? But there's something I need to do for myself first and it has to be now."

"I just want you to be happy… be it a cop, lawyer or… well anything but a smoke eater, okay? I love you Jamison Reagan… but I couldn't deal with that."

"Anything but, I promise," Jamie conceded with a small smirk as they stood up and Frank pulled him in by the back of the neck for a long hug which was thankfully reciprocated. "I love ya, Dad, but sweetness and I… we've really gotta go before it's too late."

"Bye-bye my sweet baby," Frank whispered and kissed Kaylin's cheek, his heart torn about handing his granddaughter over as he watched Jamie hurry towards the gate with his tickets and her in hand, before slowly turning away himself to go back to Bay Ridge and deliver the sad, almost incomprehensible news as he was unable to stay and watch that plane take off.

He had failed them all. Jamison and Kaylin Elizabeth Reagan were really gone.

* * *

 _Next, Frank returns to the house to report the news of their departure to a stunned Eddie and his very unhappy father while Jamie and Kaylin arrive at their destination hoping to change the course of events that led them there. The next chapter is one of my personal favorites from the whole story!_

 _Also, there's been a lot of speculation in the reviews and PMs on the "fatal consequences" in the note from chapter 35 from a number of you - I love the interaction, but don't want to mislead, perhaps Reagan family "umbrella" is a better word than circle although I consider the affected to be close. I will confirm there are at least 2 characters that will be no more when this one is over, and whose deaths might impact certain persons greatly both now and into the next story._


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

For the second time that day, Eddie ripped the front door open on its hinges the instant she heard a knock and saw a familiar distorted outline through the leaded glass, but instead of the answer to her prayers, she saw only a penitent Francis Xavier Reagan who was unable to meet her eye except for a brief soulful glance.

"WHERE ARE THEY FRANCIS?!" Henry demanded in an angry growl as he stepped up behind Eddie while her mouth hung open, speechless. Danny had left to go work on the case with Baez and the task force as hundreds of leads had poured in since Quinlan's photo and particulars had been released to the press and they were determined to follow up on all of them. Eddie had spent more than the past two hours pacing frantically while she told herself that she trusted Frank with everything… convinced once more that she knew what Jamie's reaction would be, he always had forgiveness in his heart and a great love for his family… surely if his father had apologized… and yet here they had all apparently misjudged him again.

"They called for pre-boarding for passengers with small children," Frank answered simply as he tiredly made his way inside and Eddie closed the door behind him. "He said it was his time to go."

"What do you mean... and you _left_ them?!" Henry asked incredulously. "You couldn't stop it?"

"We talked, Pop… about everything. All this time I thought I knew what was behind this, but there were things that were never considered… I should have listened to him a long time ago. He said he had to do something for himself first, and that he had to go. It had to be his decision, not an obligation, and he made it."

"Did you actually see him get _on_ the plane, Francis Reagan?"

"No, Pop, of course not... but they called for them and he said goodbye before walking to the gate, where else would he have gone? I kissed Kaylin… my baby's little girl…" he teared back up. "I just couldn't… couldn't watch after that," Frank admitted with great sorrow before turning to Eddie. "I told him sweetheart… I kept my promise and told him you were going to come and that I asked you not to. It brought him great peace to hear that you wanted to be with them. I'll have Baker arrange a flight at the earliest possible moment. We'll take care of everything here for you, alright? Thank you for giving me that chance even though he didn't stay… I think it did help, and it needed to be done… maybe someday he can forgive. He's still holding too much of this against himself."

"Oh, no Jamie," Eddie finally sighed as the realization hit her full force and she sank down into that cherished red wing arm chair. "My sweetness, where have you gone?"

###

"Daddy, where we?" Kaylin asked sleepily as she rubbed her eyes and pushed her hoodie back... tired and cranky from the early rising and the numerous weather delays they had encountered while he was busily attempting to juggle their retrieved luggage into the building's lobby one handed, all while trying to keep the rain off of them, hold on to her and inwardly cursing the fact that despite a generous tip, the damn cabbie had left him high and not so dry at the curb to work this out on his own in the middle of a downpour. The two of them looked like a couple of drowned rats by the time they made it inside.

"There!" he muttered as a swift kick unlocked the jammed wheel of his supposed top-of-the-line rolling 360° carry-on and the entire process suddenly simplified itself. "We're here to meet a friend, baby," Jamie revealed to the little girl as he hitched her up higher on his wet hip, afraid to say more than that in case they were already too late.

"Can I help you, sir?" a chipper young receptionist greeted them as he successfully herded everything over to the desk to check in while leaving his own small dripped trail on the floor.

"Yes," he sighed in relief as a brief glance at his phone showed it to be still dead as a doornail, a condition he discovered much to his dismay when he pulled it out to call Eddie and further explain things to his father after he realized he probably hadn't made his intentions clear enough with his thoughts all out of sorts and swirling after their talk. By the time he realized what he had done and turned around from the boarding desk in the concours, Frank had disappeared from sight unexpectedly, and of course as fate would have it the device failed to power up a second time after its tumble to the floor earlier in the day. Still there had been no time to spare to worry about that on the way from the airport. "We're here for a f-e-l-i-n-e," he spelled out, hoping that his precocious little daughter wasn't so far ahead in her language arts that she would pick up on that right away. That plan backfired instantly, however, as it had apparently gone right over the head of the puzzled twenty-something woman standing before him who had suddenly stopped chewing her pink fluorescent gum to think.

"Sir?"

"A cat," he explained in frustration as he was working against time with a possible stay of execution here at the animal shelter and it didn't look like he'd have success with the cute route any longer. "We're here for a cat… a particular cat. Please ma'am," he begged. "I was told he was on a three-day hold that was up today so this could be urgent. Could you check and see if he's still here? A great big almost-black cat. Marvin Gaye. G-a-y-e."

"A great big black cat by the name of Marvin Gaye... like Motown?" she stared back at him incredulously, wondering if she was being punked by one of the dog walkers from swing shift.

"Hand to God," Jamie swore as Kaylin excitedly looked up and caught on.

"Kitty bear?"

"We don't usually have them listed by name," the woman answered with raised eyebrows as she took in the pair's battered wet appearance coupled with the luggage and wondered if she should be calling the cops for a parental abduction gone wrong or continue to play along. In the end, pawning them off on someone else seemed to be the logical choice. "I'll just go get Jason from the back and see if he can help you; wait here," she instructed as Jamie smiled warmly until she turned her back and he allowed himself a major eye roll to follow her out.

"Kitty?" Kaylin repeated excitedly as she caught her second wind and started jumping up and down excitedly against him.

"Whoa there, sweetness," he admonished as he gave his arm a rest by sitting her up on the counter. "Daddy's not sure he's still here, baby, okay? We have to wait and see what the nice man has to say," all the time praying for good news to walk out of that door or he'd have to have Dr. Meherin list Marvin as one of the kills on his psych record because the guilt from that would haunt him forever.

"Excuse me, Mr.?..." Came the inquiry from the hall. "Betsy here said you're looking for a big black…"

"Yes, cat," Jamie finished for him before they could get into another round robin about the name. "And it's Reagan… Sergeant Jamie Reagan from the 3-5," he added as he picked Kaylin up and walked over to shake the man's hand knowing that animal control worked closely with the shelters and if there was a chance to make himself sound more legitimate considering the condition they were in, it was probably needed by this point. "Is it alright if I leave my bags here in the office?" he asked.

"Sure thing," Jason advised as he started scanning the clipboard in his hands and began to lead them towards the back kennel area where a cacophony of noise from several large dogs barking had Kaylin covering her ears and burrowing into Jamie's neck. "You say it's one on the last day of a hold? We have several," he muttered. "Let's see... 102," he pointed at a crate containing a pair of uninterested tired old golden eyes blinking back from an obviously worn out thin body.

"No, ah… that's not him," Jamie said sadly, hating to see that any of these animals were in such a state.

"219?" Another negative.

"304?" Jason pointed to the wall where one of the larger wire cages was empty and the door ajar. "Black and grey three-year-old Maine Coon-type male cat with a white snip surrendered Thursday night."

"That's him!" Jamie replied excitedly until the sinking realization of the empty cage hit him. "Oh, no!… Does that mean... are we too late?" he asked without wanting to hear the answer he feared. Poor Marvin.

"Hm, I don't think Paul's gotten started on that yet today," Jason mused as he reached for his radio. "Paul, what's the location of number 304?" he inquired.

"That big mother…f...er," came the crass reply as Jason was quick to turn down the volume in deference to the young ears in attendance.

"That's the one. Gotta little girl here with me, Paul," Jason warned.

"In the stroller in the hallway," came the more g-rated bodiless reply as Paul was referring to his rolling transport cages.

"This way," Jason pointed and Jamie eagerly followed since it appeared to be good news. "Looks like you got here just in time," he observed. "He was up on deck." Indeed, there was a familiar yowl winding up in pitch as they neared. "Are you sure you want this one, mister?" he asked skeptically as he eyeballed the crate and the oversized irritated occupant glared back with an arched back and unmistakable pissed off hiss. "He's labeled as dangerous and due to be destroyed for attacking people and running away. We have dozens of cute young kittens available just down the hall…"

"No, this is the one," Jamie sighed in relief although Marvin had made no indication he recognized his saviors yet as the rumbling pitch grew increasingly higher once more. "And he's not dangerous or a runaway… he just wanted to come home."

"My supervisor won't allow it, sir… not with a young child in the house. This is a vicious cat; he's gone after everyone who's tried to get in the room with him… if it hadn't been the weekend and our regular guy was out, he would have never lasted through the three-day hold I'm afraid."

"Oh c'mon, he loves her!" Jamie pleaded, ready to push this uphill to the governor for a pardon if necessary. There was no possible way he was walking out of the building without this cat… not after everything they'd been through today or the past few weeks, surely something good had to happen to someone. "We've had him in our… well, _his_ house and he's fine. Tell him Kaylin!"

"He's my kitty bear!" she answered obediently in a sing-song voice. "And he loves to eat fishies, don't you boy?!" she cried happily which elicited a more subdued reverberating rumbling purr from the slightly shell-shocked, but now hopeful pair of green iridescent eyes that recognized his preferred name and these two humans who were known tuna providers... and Marvin, well Bear… he did love tuna...

"See that! He knows us!" Jamie argued. "Please, I'll sign whatever releases are necessary… my little girl loves this cat. He'll have a good home with us. The only reason he ran away from that other family was to come back to his original house… it was only six blocks from them. We just moved in after his first owner had to surrender him to go into hospice for cancer, and now that I'm not leaving to go to California for a job, he can stay with us."

"Okay," Jason sighed as he had heard just about every sob story while working there and had become immune to most of them, but this one stuck out especially with such a cute little girl looking intently at him. "No promises, but I'll talk to the boss and see what she says. Why don't we put him in one of the meet and greet rooms until then and see if he settles down a bit. Just stay outside until I come back!" he insisted as Marvin was carefully released to sulk around the small mostly glass-sided room alone.

"Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a phone I could use first?" Jamie asked the departing Jason, but then huffed when he didn't get an answer. "Oh well, little girl…" he muttered as he worried now about what the family and Eddie would do since he was unsure what they were thinking as he hadn't exactly taken the time to explain to his father before running to the counter to cancel their tickets and trying but failing to have his luggage pulled before it flew to sunny California without them... it was a matter of life and death though… literally… and now it looked like they might be here for longer than he had anticipated. Perhaps showing up unannounced would be a better plan, so long as Eddie herself hadn't left yet. There wasn't much time, but they had a few hours at least.

"We can't get into any more trouble than we're already in though, can we?" he asked the toddler rhetorically.

"Nope!" she cried and kissed him on the nose and gave him a happy hug. Kaylin Elizabeth Reagan had her daddy wrapped around that little pinky from day one and she already knew how to work him.

"Alright," Jason declared as he returned from around the corner. "She says it's okay as long as our behaviorist gives you the green light. Tina over there will keep an eye on you. They'd like you to go ahead in the room and sit with him for a while and see what happens," he advised as he raised an eyebrow. "Just sign this release, _first,"_ he added as he pushed the clipboard forward and Jamie penned his name. "I gotta tell you man, they're taking bets against you back in the breakroom. You want me to keep the little girl out here for a while?"

"No, we'll be fine," Jamie insisted as he shifted Kaylin over to the other side. "How long do we have to stay?"

"Takes us about a half hour to get the papers ready… here you can fill these out while you're in there. You make it that long, buddy, and I'll throw in a new nametag. I got ten bucks riding on this and long odds; don't let me down," he smiled.

"Right," Jamie sighed as he resigned himself to a stint in yet another waiting room area for the day, although at least this one had some toys for Kaylin to entertain herself with, even if they were the squeaky variety. "C'mon sweetness, let's go play with the kitty for a while so we can take him home."

"And go see Eddie bear!" she added excitedly as the door closed behind them and Marvin popped over immediately to jones for some treats from his favorite humans as his signature sports car engine purr began to fill the space.

"Yes, we definitely have to go home to see Eddie," Jamie breathed in relief as he sat down cross legged on the floor and began to fill out the forms as quickly as he could in hopes that Tina over there would pass them as soon as possible considering the man-eater they were supposedly in the room with was already happily twirling himself around Kaylin's legs.

"Name," he paused thoughtfully before filling in the blank on the form for a new nametag. Marvin just did not roll off the tongue and he could do without explaining the Motown references behind it for another fifteen years. Bear was more self-explanatory and fit him perfectly. "What should we call him, sweetness?" he asked pointedly though as he considered maybe it was time to address something else and this might provide a unique opportunity to do something special for Eddie that he knew she had been longing for.

"Kitty bear!" came the enthusiastic reply as a delighted little girl had just dumped a box of toys on the floor while her four-footed friend continued to shadow her.

"I think maybe he really just likes his old name, Bear… what do you think, baby?"

"'Kay," she agreed as she tossed a little jingle ball across the room and the newly rechristened Bear dashed after it to retrieve it for her like a puppy. Jamie could hardly contain his smirk as he caught the sight of money being exchanged out of the corner of his eye by the group of interested breakroom observers. Jason was going to make out like a bandit today.

"So, sweetie," he interjected again as his pen flew over the forms which were frankly more complicated than the ones he used to send a prisoner down to Central Booking. "If we call him Bear though, we have to be careful to only use that name for him, right? There can be lots of kitties in the world named Bear, but there should only be one bear in our house so he doesn't get confused when you call him… he likes that name, so it should be his, okay?" he finished.

"But I like Eddie bear," Kaylin stopped in a blink with a frown. Jamie was sure she would become a Supreme Court Justice one day with the speed she could spot the minute flaw in an argument and hurl it back at you. He had considered himself lucky to win that ducky bathtub discussion with her in the end.

"Yes, but soon Daddy and Eddie will be married and she would like you to call her Mommy too because she loves you so much," he added hopefully, and then sighed at the familiar reply which thus far he had been unable to work around as Kaylin still remembered her life before with Jayne and especially the not-so-happy parts of it like what had traumatized her at the bridge.

"Mommies are bad and all go to heaven," Kaylin insisted as Bear had given up pilfering any tuna from her and was now over rubbing himself up against Jamie's arm. He paused to push the long tickling tail out of his face before answering as he opened his lock box up a just tiny bit to allow a small touch of that forgiveness Dr. Meherin and his father had mentioned in as an equal amount of that bottled up anger cleared.

"No, there are lots of good mommies in the world. My mommy… Grandma Mary went to heaven when I was older but she wasn't bad, sweetness, she was good and I loved her very much. Someday you might be a big sister to another baby, and he or she will call Eddie mommy. She's a very good mommy, Kaylin. She takes care of both of us and keeps us safe. That's what mommies are supposed to do. We should call her by the name that she loves best," he implored as he finished the forms and put the pen away on the clipboard. "What do you think about that?"

"Maybe," Kaylin offered, but that was really her code for "We'll talk about it later… not." Still, he hoped that someday it would sink in and she would give Eddie that special gift. For today, though she was going to have to settle for the three of them showing up unannounced at the front door as a quick glance at Tina was rewarded with a big smile and two thumbs up. The pardon had been granted.

"Thank God," he murmured. "Let's go home guys."

###

For the third time now that day, Eddie ripped the front door open on its hinges the instant she heard a knock and saw a familiar distorted outline through the leaded glass, but this time her prayers had been answered as there before her stood her two greatest loves holding a meowing bouncing box with poked out holes as Bear sensed where he was and made his presence known, and frankly he was tired of the ride. The little flimsy cardboard carrier the shelter provided stood no chance, and he burst out of it to stroll through the open front door with what could only be described as a self-satisfied swagger. There was tuna to be located after all and a perch above the refrigerator to reclaim.

"We're here, lambchop… all three… if you'll have us," Jamie pleaded as he held Kaylin who was reaching for Eddie while they locked eyes and her lip started quivering as she knew with the appearance of the cat that he was here to stay. "We didn't go anywhere."

"Oh, thank God! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Welcome home!" she cried and launched herself at them as the three shared a long embrace and many tears and kisses on the porch of the messy house they were all destined to share for a lifetime as long as a now clean-shaven bleach-blond cropped haired young man with long sleeves covering his multiple tattoos and dark shades hiding a pair of angry light blue eyes didn't have something to say about it first.

* * *

 _Yup, he's back in town in disguise and on the hunt for our little family of reunited lovebirds once more. Who will be the one to make the mistake that will lead Jared Quinlan straight to this house, and what will he do once he gets there? To be revealed in later chapters, but first there's still a lot of healing and sweeping up to do on all fronts of the now slightly expanded Reagan family as someone will look to earn his tuna._

 _Once again the review black hole has opened up and there's a delay in them posting to the site. Seems to happen monthly now. Please keep submitting, I'll keep posting chapters as long as I can read them via email and they will post on the page eventually. I'm assuming a few people are happy that Bear, Jamie and Kaylin appear to be back for good? Also, there is a bonus Snapshot II_ _chapter where we find out exactly what happened that day at Grandma Betty's house when a five-year-old Jamie took his first major tumble down a flight of steps resulting in a matching set of panicked parents and grandparents, a trip to the ER, some double-dipped chocolate ice cream and one very sorry older brother. It's ready to go and will post when the site is fixed!_


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

"Seriously, Danny?" Jamie snarked at his brother as he had just about twisted himself inside out struggling to push the last few feet of his beloved leather couch through the front door of the house and around the corner with precious little effort from his older sibling who made only a half-hearted attempt with one hand to feign assistance from the other end. "A little help here?!"

"What am I supposed to do, Harvard?" Danny asked as he waved the big blue aircast now adorning his left wrist back at him. "Hairline fracture of the radius, remember? I told you to just hire those movers that took it to the storage place in the first place… if you wouldn't have been so pig-headed about leaving in the first place they would have brought everything here..."

"There's no room for all of it yet, and I can't believe you were dumb enough to try ice skating again!" Jamie grumbled in return as he now had his back to the furniture and was desperately trying to push it in with his leg strength and willpower alone before collapsing to the ground catch his breath when it didn't budge. "I couldn't get anyone back until next week and I am so sick of not having a place to sit down in my own house!"

"Looks like you're doing a fine job at that right now," Danny observed with a smirk as he could just see the top of his brother's head over the armrest. He knew the kid was exhausted and frustrated by this point, having borrowed a truck to get the living room set here and trying to do this mostly on his own with two chairs and a table yet to retrieve from the driveway. "And anyway I played hockey… I know how to skate."

"Joe played hockey! You just borrowed all his stuff to try to look cool for that little brunette figure skater you thought was cute."

"No, it was Linda," Danny insisted when he thought back. "I was trying to impress her. I did hate ice skating though didn't I?" he laughed. "Maybe, I was just pretending to be bad, 'cause I wanted to hold her hand. Mmm? You still have no idea what to do with women."

"Well, as I recall, you weren't very impressive on the ice… or elsewhere. Looks like nothing's changed, has it?"

"Shut up, kid. I even went back again and tracked down that guy that made those chocolates she loved… they were her favorite ones in the whole world. The place he had closed like three years ago."

"Old man Stork's still alive? You found him?"

"I not only found him, I got him to make something special for her. And he was happy to do it, actually."

"Really? You did all that?" Jamie had to admit he was surprised at the lengths his brother was going through to try to make this approach successful with Linda, maybe there was something to it after all. "And it's working? I mean except for the arm..."

"Mm-hmm."

"Hmm."

"You want one?" Danny asked as he reached in his pocket and flipped a wrapped candy through the doorway and over to Jamie while he continued to reminisce. "She tried one and got me to try one, and then… still the best-tasting orange kiss of my entire life."

"I'm _not_ kissing you, Dan…"

"Will you cut it out, weisenheimer?" Danny huffed. "I'm trying here and it ain't easy. Besides, I had to get them and take Linda ice skating… that was our second date and Eddie says we have to…"

"Oh, no… please for the love of God, don't tell me what Dr. Phil ordered next unless she told you it was time to go home," Jamie begged as he ate the candy and mopped the sweat off of his face while still rooted in park as the long couch was just failing to make the required left-hand turn past the stairs. He still couldn't believe that Danny and Eddie were working in collusion to solve his marital problems… that just seemed wrong on so many levels and it kinda creeped him out if he was honest. "Wait… the third date, wasn't that your magic number? Does that mean?..." he asked hopefully and popped his head over the cushion to look at his brother since a successful return to the bedroom almost certainly would mean his irritating houseguest would be soon departing to go back to his own abode in Staten Island permanently.

"We were just kids back then! Barely older than Jack…" Danny gasped with the sudden realization that he was ancient enough to have a son who was interested in girls that way. "We didn't… not for, well until… and bite your tongue Jamison Reagan! My son is not having sex on his third date… ever!"

"Especially not if he inherited any of his old man's moves," Jamie quipped as he sat back down and mocked him by waving his left arm around over his head as a reminder of the resulting fall and the fact that Danny and Linda had spent the remainder of their second date night recreation at a local ER for x-rays.

"You just wait until Kaylin starts looking at boys, and I tripped on an effing ice chip when I was skating backwards!"

"You mean trying to show off," Jamie continued to poke from the relative safety of the opposite side of the couch which remained stuck in the doorway. "And you're supposed to be helping me move stuff in the house to earn your keep. Besides, Kaylin won't be dating until she's thirty. Bear will see to that if I have to clone him to make it that far," he added, citing their official new pet's protective stance whenever someone approached his favorite toddler, especially her uncle. The cat and Danny had failed to make peace with their living arrangements yet after nearly a week now… something that amused Jamie to no end.

"Get _him_ to help move the furniture, he owes you too."

"He'll pay us back one... day..." Jamie's voice trailed off sharply in a fashion that had Danny instantly snapping to attention and he caught sight of what had distracted his brother... an older model gold-colored Buick LeSabre sedan was slowly trolling up the block towards the house in a drive-by fashion that made the hair stand up on the back both of their necks and Danny instantly cursed the fact that his brother was now sitting outside exposed on the stoop of the porch with a leather couch blocking his access back in the house.

"Harvard, get your ass back inside!" Danny hissed as a firm tug and a kick on each end finally cleared the corner and the two managed to slide it all the way in and close the door with a slam, both dropping on either side to sit down with a heavy sigh in unison.

"It's okay," Jamie finally revealed with a huff as he peered out the window as the vehicle passed without incident and they both exhaled in relief. "I think it was Mrs. Jackson's son. He picks her up to go to work at this time… never saw him in that car before though."

"Where's Eddie?" Danny asked as he tried to slow down his own heart rate.

"Dad had Baker take her and Kaylin back to the dress shop to finalize things… she never got the chance to do it that day, and I'm not supposed to see, so…"

"Yeah, enough said," his brother stopped him.

"Danny, we gotta get this guy," Jamie breathed as he dropped his head back on the cushion and stared up at the ceiling. "We're all still jumping at our own shadows and this sitting around waiting for some kind of viable lead or a tip to come in just isn't working."

"Baez and I are doing everything we can, kid. I know it's really tough right now, but we gotta be patient," he paused as Jamie snorted. "Okay, I know… that's not a word I use too much, but in this case it's true… you gotta just wait it out."

"Maybe we need to do something to smoke him into the open," Jamie offered. "Put me out there and bring him in somehow."

"That's suicide. Dad will never go for it," Danny warned as his eyes narrowed and his brotherly spidey senses tingled… the kid was obviously planning something and a close heed would have to be paid to him from here on out. If he thought he could try to get rid of him and do this on his own... well his brother would just stick even tighter. "No way, that puts you and too many others in danger."

"But even Eddie's starting to go off the walls inside here," Jamie insisted. "She misses patrol now that she's been cleared to go back from the concussion and wants to be doing something other than moving boxes to stay in shape for the wedding. She was talking about taking one of those Krav Maga women self-defense courses with Kara over by Brighton Beach, but Walsh just got assigned to some special detail and will be on nights for the next couple of weeks so she lost her buddy and the next group doesn't start for two months."

"That's the stuff from the Israel Defense Forces' special units, right? Eddie's into that?"

"It teaches a lot of techniques that are good for women, Dan. She's only five-two and has to use what she's got against perps. It's good for self-confidence. Some of the female officers at the 3-5 are doing it too. I was trying to get a couple NYPD-specific classes set up for our precinct with the instructor before all this went down, but now I'm gonna have to see if I can get it past Renzulli if I ever get back. With the budget cuts we don't get enough training opportunities like that for them."

 _Figures the kid would be into something progressive like that,_ Danny thought. "You think she'd take Linda instead?" he questioned as Jamie flipped a surprised eyeball over at him. Their two significant others hadn't exactly made up since the showdown at dinner that one night and a class like that didn't seem as if it would be in Linda's wheelhouse. "She said felt helpless when Curtis came in with the gun," his older brother explained. "Maybe something like that would make her more confident when she's alone… I know with her staying by herself at the house right now, well it would make me feel better I guess," he admitted with some guilt.

"Can't hurt to ask," Jamie conceded with a sigh as he rubbed his face and wondered how to approach _that_ conversation. Eddie was usually all about forgiveness, but certain things rankled her and an attack on him or Kaylin was bound to get the same reception as a stranger walking up to Bear's food dish… look out! he smirked a little.

"You miss it too, don't you?" Danny questioned. "The street, I mean. Were you really gonna give it up? How about that guy in California? What'd he say when you didn't show for the interview? Was Spencer pissed?"

"He understood," Jamie mused as he settled back against the couch once more. It felt so good to have a place to rest even if they were still sitting cockeyed in the foyer which would have normally driven his OCD tendencies for order wild, but those had taken a beating in the past couple of weeks too. "I'm pretty sure Spence never really expected me to come and Matterson offered me a remote consultant position instead… I took it," he admitted with some reservation as he wasn't sure his brother would understand and he hadn't planned to announce it to the family just yet; only Eddie knew at this point and while she had frowned with that revelation she let it slide as a compromise. "It's good money for stuff I can mostly do from here and they have me on retainer for anything that comes up for the company here on this coast or in the city."

"Seriously?" Danny puzzled as he glanced over. "Why? You don't have enough to do?"

"This place," Jamie frowned. "Kaylin's schooling, the wedding… someday maybe Eddie's gonna want to take some time off with another baby. One sergeant's salary doesn't cut that… you know how it is."

"Yeah, I do," Danny agreed as money was tight for him and Linda as well with his sons in private school and the house. Thankfully Henry's generous offer to fund the boys' college years had taken that burden away, as much as he hated to admit it. "You were really gonna do it though… weren't you?... Walk away from the job completely and go back to law," he asked as he studied his brother's face carefully to see if Jamie would tell him the truth, but when he actually got the unvarnished version and heard the words, he didn't like it at all.

"I was," Jamie admitted with a sigh. "I've got a family to consider now, Dan. If something happens to me I don't want Eddie and Kaylin to suffer for it." There it was again, even after all he had been through that week… the big emotional showdown at the airport with his father which had left things warmer between the two but not completely healed… Jamie still had doubts about himself and that glass-half-empty outlook that had crept in recently remained not so far under the surface… or had it been there all along?

"You can't think like that, kid… it's not gonna happen, and of all people Eddie seems like she can take care of herself… she nearly took down two Police Commissioners and a first-grade detective in one fell swoop the other day."

"You don't mess with Janko women," Jamie agreed.

"Or Reagans either. You going back?" Danny inquired somewhat obscurely as he flipped the subject with a bit of worry that maybe the next part was taking things too far, but he tried anyway since the two of them seemed to be having an actual grown-up conversation right now. "To see Grace, I mean. You said Dad told you that you'd be getting your badge back anyway, but if she was helping with the other stuff…"

"I don't know," Jamie edged as he jumped up, that particular part of the situation was still obviously off limits… equivalent to Kaylin's "Maybe." The lockbox had been breached but some of the things that had been tucked away for so long would need to take their own time coming back out and he wasn't ready. He wiped his hands on his jeans, prepared to tackle moving the remaining items into the living room as at least a temporary diversion. "C'mon, get your ass up off my couch," he admonished. "I've still got things to straighten out."

* * *

 _So there is continued progress at the house as Jamie puts things in order and next another old gem from the past is revealed while work on Danny's scrapbook forges ahead as he and his wife get closer to working things out. Eddie decides to take the first step in burying the hatchet with Linda in an effort to bring the Reagans back together as Quinlan comes back into the direct picture still seeking to tear them apart. Who will win and what will the ultimate cost be?_

 _Thanks once more for the continued support while the reviews are left floating through cyberspace. I've been swamped with kids/work the past few days so have not had the time to jump through the extra hoops to reply to them all individually since the links in the emails are also broken, but I do appreciate them all and will forge on posting chapters for now and hopefully things will be fixed soon!_


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

"Jamie, we're home! Where are you?" Eddie called out as she and Kaylin returned from their escorted trip to the bridal boutique which had resulted in a much smoother visit this time as Penny and her dress consultant Marla had been exceptionally kind after the disastrous events of the last fitting and had gone out of their way to make sure the bride-to-be and her little shadow would be beautifully appointed for the upcoming ceremony.

Both were likewise pleasantly surprised to find an actual seating group now available in the living room as the couch, chairs and accompanying tables and lamps had been carefully arranged in the mostly clean space. This house was inching closer to looking like their home now.

"Daddy!" Kaylin impatiently yelled for him. "Come see! I so pretty in my dress!" she squealed as she waved Eddie's phone around ready to show Jamie a picture. It was bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her gown before the wedding, but no one ever said anything about the flower girl and Kaylin had been too disappointed about leaving the dress behind at the store to deny her this.

"Dining room," his muffled voice called out as Eddie inwardly cringed a little. She had purposefully avoided that one area so far as it had been rather solidly packed with an odd assortment of items including what appeared to be Mr. Peterson's creepy big game trophy collection… all those enormous yet lifeless glass eyes of deer, pronghorns, big-horned sheep, a moose, and God help them if Kaylin saw… a trio of mallard ducks eternally flying past a set of aspen tree trunks… all staring back at them. The doors to this room had remained firmly closed until now and it was with a great sigh of relief that Eddie turned the corner to find all the previous deceased occupants gone and only a bemused Bear lying in wait while lazily sunning himself in a patch of light from the window and Jamie grinning back as he had unearthed a section of what appeared to have once been a rather ornate but heavily scratched and damaged oak table.

"Look, Ed!" he exclaimed excitedly as he busily pulled a few more items off the stained top. "I really think this was my grandmother's… Pop must have left it here when he moved. It doesn't look great now but I bet if we sand it down real good we might be able to refinish and save it. We can have family dinners in here just like before! Did you know this is where they used to be originally?"

Eddie smiled at his lightened demeanor and watched as he eagerly swept Kaylin up and fussed over her pictures, twirling her around and promising that she would have a special dance with him all her own at the wedding. It was the first time she had seen him so passionate over something to do with the house, and she wondered if Danny had been right before when he told her that Jamie would start to come around again as soon as things regained some order. He was at least sleeping better at night now as his friend David from TARU had left a security system the equivalent of Fort Knox and a coordinated attack by the three of them on Kaylin's new room upstairs had provided the little girl with a space all her own… granted it still needed furniture, new carpet and a fresh coat of paint, but progress was being made. Now if she could only get him in a more romantic mindset her heart would truly sing, but it had been weeks since she could remember Jamie looking like so much of that great weight had been lifted off of him and she was determined to keep things going in the same direction despite the continued threat that stubbornly loomed over them.

With that in mind she slipped in behind him as he had turned to admire the table once more after setting Kaylin down to scamper off and play with Bear, and Eddie felt him sink back against her with the desired effect as she hugged him and her hands knowingly roamed underneath his shirt and teased dangerously below the waistline of his jeans. "Oh, Ed," he moaned softly as he relaxed under her touch. "We can't, not now… Kaylin… and Danny's coming back any minute, he just went to pick up some pizza… although I swear to God if it wouldn't be for her I would lock him out of the house."

"Later then," she insisted and turned him so their lips could meet while small tugs and caresses kept him under her spell. "It's been too long, Mr. Reagan… we're out of practice. There's a wedding night and a honeymoon coming up and I think we need to stay in shape for those…"

"Mm hmm," he murmured in complete compliance as his mind blanked while he basked in their closeness and Eddie sensed an opening. There was one part of the wedding planning that she had left wholly to Jamie at his insistence and thus far he had kept it on a strictly confidential you-don't-need-to-know basis despite the multitude of strategically placed brochures and hints she had offered for months… their honeymoon destination was still a mystery and she was dying of curiosity now as things were drawing closer; her heart set on a classic post-wedding departure to the warmth of a beautiful tropical island somewhere for a week of umbrellas in their drinks and sand between their toes.

"And how's that coming?" she inquired sweetly in between kisses that were ramping up in intensity now as she pushed him back to sit against that beloved table of his, trying to duck in under the radar and catch him in a weak moment as she drew herself in even closer. "I saw some really cute swimsuits online the other day, and I was wondering if I'll be needing any more for our trip," she whispered in his ear as her warm breath consumed it in a move that had never failed her before. "Should I go ahead and order them?"

"Definitely," he murmured as his pulse was quickening and his hands had likewise softly found their intended targets which were frankly hard to miss at this point given their proximity. Any more of this and there would soon be some non-Grandma Betty approved activity right here on her once-cherished oak dining room table no matter the state it was currently in.

"So are you finally gonna let me know where we're going then?" she implored as she thrust forward, confident she had him softened up like silly putty in her hands and she would ultimately get the information out of him.

"Of course I'll tell you, lambchop..." he hesitated with a purr in his voice as smooth and silky as Bear's at the sound of a tuna can opening while one hand ever so gently cupped her cheek and drew her in even closer so his tongue could trace the outline of her lips until they crashed together once more… there, he was in her clutches right where she wanted him… well, that's what she thought anyway until she heard the last words...

"...right after you say 'I do,'" he finished with a smirk and a sparkle in his hazel eyes as she pushed away with a grunt of frustration. "Nice try, Janko, but you still need work on your interrogation techniques. Something needs to be left as a surprise for that night after all since there are so many others like this that won't be."

"So not fair, Reagan," she countered with a frown as the sound of little socked feet pattering through the cleared hallway proved to be the final interruption.

"Eddie, Eddie… can I have some milk?" came the pleading request.

"May I," they both reminded in unison as the physical distance between them went back to normal in front of the little girl and Jamie offered a small cheeky smile in return as a promise for an encore later.

"May I, _p'ease?!"_ Kaylin reiterated with an edge of her own frustration. "I hungry!"

"Yes, baby," Eddie replied before turning back to Jamie after the toddler had skipped away. "It's weird," she observed with an obvious hurt look on her face. "What's with _that…_ Eddie Eddie? Did you say something to her? 'Cause she hasn't called me her Eddie bear once all week," she noted sadly before heading for the kitchen.

"I…" Jamie started just as the alarm chimed to indicate Danny's third, or was it fourth wheel return through the front door. "I may have screwed that up, but I'm still working on it," he admitted quietly out of her earshot now, as his previous attempt to circumvent the mommy trap with Kaylin had backfired royally now and left him to wonder if that Reagan pig-headed trait was inherited or acquired because there had been absolutely no bending or changing his little girl's mind on that at all yet.

###

"Danny, this is coming out great!" Eddie enthused as she paged through his scrapbook after their relaxed and wholly unbalanced carb-loaded dinner of beer, pizza and bread knots, while admiring his creative efforts as Jamie rolled his eyes towards heaven but made every effort to keep his mouth shut as the two of them were sitting next to one another on _his_ leather couch with _their_ feet up on _his_ hard won coffee table… the furniture he had very nearly herniated his entire insides out for while moving them virtually by himself… on top of that they were leaving greasy fingerprints and plates all over his freshly polished glass with no coaster evident under Danny's beer.

Things like that tended to bug Jamison Reagan even when he wasn't in his current state.

He flipped the dishcloth off his shoulder and wiped up _again_ after picking up the plates to dispose of them properly while pausing only long enough to snatch and ball up his brother's button-down shirt that he had left hanging on the back of the chair when changing for dinner… an effort which had only consisted of removing said item since he was currently appallingly clad only in his favorite type of wife-beater sleeveless undershirt from the waist up. Granted the living room area was technically part and parcel of Danny's bedroom at the current moment, but that just emphasized the fact that it was high time for the older Reagan brother to hit the road in Jamie's opinion, and if Eddie wasn't in agreement he was going to be sure to inflict some of this pain right back at her to hurry her counseling efforts along. This conspiracy between the two of them left him completely uncomfortable and the faster they could get that damn book done and into Linda's hands, the sooner he could go back to making love to Eddie without his brother's interference in the house, he reckoned. Her little display earlier had jump started some urges, and he was finding it hard to concentrate on other things at the moment.

"I love how you put a picture of the x-ray in alongside the wrappers from the chocolates," she continued. "We should add some of Kaylin's scratch and sniff orange stickers so Linda gets the full effect… the sense of smell is what makes us fall in love and stay in love…" she nodded earnestly as Jamie could no longer contain himself and snorted at this unscientific matchmaking advice that his brother was falling for hook, line and sinker.

" _Seriously,_ Ed? Danny?!"

"Studies show that!" Eddie insisted as her blue eyes flashed up at him. How dare he question her methods.

"Cite your sources!"

"French vanilla," she countered with pursed lips as his face fell and he had to concede without a further fight… one whiff of that shampoo and he was rendered into almost instant jelly. Damn, he must be losing his touch… there was no winning an argument in this house anymore between her and Kaylin lately.

"She has a point there, Harvard," Danny agreed.

"So what's the plan for round three?" Jamie questioned Eddie as he deliberately walked by and kicked his brother's feet off the table. "And how far are you two going to carry this through? I mean eventually they had kids… I'm telling you this because I'm gonna bail and kick his butt out of here long before you start pasting down pictures from anything that resembles a Lamaze class."

"I don't know," Danny admitted as he thought about it while putting his socked feet back up slowly and crossing them deliberately, knowing that would piss his brother off to no end. "The next thing we did was to have dinner with the family here because Mom insisted I bring her over, but I don't think Linda would be comfortable with that yet… she still thinks everyone's mad at her." he looked at Jamie accusingly on reflex although he immediately regretted that action.

"Hey! It's not like I started any of this, and it's not my fault she thinks I'm the reason you finally walked out!" Jamie huffed with a cold glare back as he grabbed the empty pizza box off the table and headed to the kitchen to check on Kaylin at the counter before he stepped outside to put the trash, including Danny's shirt, in the dumpster and give himself the opportunity to cool off.

"Crap, sorry… guess I hit a nerve that's still raw," Danny sighed as he watched his brother walk away. "Really… Eddie, I'm out of ideas past this point. Things between Linda and me are better… I can give her this book… I could maybe move home right now and keep this going, but I have no idea how to make things the way they used to be with the family. Erin's still not speaking to her and the kid's right… it's not fair that she blamed him for anything so it wouldn't be right to put it on him to fix it."

"Jamie's really trying," Eddie admitted as she sat back and thought about how excited he had been earlier in the afternoon. "He's still not all the way settled with your dad either, but he was talking about having family dinners here again after he found your Grandma's table... I want that too," she admitted and then offered a solution after a long pause. "I'll be the one to go first, let's do that Danny… when we were in the kitchen he mentioned what you said earlier about having Linda take those defense classes with me. I wasn't sure before if I was ready to do that, but see if she will… if I can talk to her and smooth things out between us, then maybe we can get her and Jamie to make peace... I bet the rest of the family will come along too."

"You'd do that for me?" Danny asked in surprise since he knew if someone had attacked him personally… well, the Linda of old at least would have had an issue with extending the olive branch herself to make up so easily.

"I'm doing it for everyone, but especially me," Eddie admitted. "I love you all… you've been there for us and I want the Reagan family back the way it's always been… together and strong."

###

"I'm telling ya, I don't know where to find them! I don't even talk to the old man that much anymore!" the strung out junkie named Sam nervously spat as he was backed up against the wall in a dirty alley in Washington Heights by an obviously angry clean-shaven bleach-blond cropped haired man with long sleeves covering the tattoos on his arms and dark shades on despite the fading light of evening.

"That's not what I heard," Jared Quinlan snarled in his face as he took the glasses off now to reveal his patented and eerily ice-cold blue-eyed expression. "I just heard from your own effing mouth that you were tight with him… that he goes out of his way to bail your ass out every time you screw up… You shouldn't sit here railing oxy and put out that you have an in at the police commissioner's office if it ain't true!" Finally, after all the crap of the past couple of weeks, Quinlan couldn't believe his luck when he walked into a squat to score a little weed only to find what turned out to be Deputy Commissioner Garrett Moore's stepson sitting there bragging on his latest get out of jail free card one minute… the next he had found himself dragged outside violently by this complete stranger who had all the charm of a rabid pit bull.

"So what do you want from me?!" the younger man huffed in fear as Quinlan continued to intimidate by shoving him hard into the wall once more and working him back further down into the desolate alley… for sure no one in this area was gonna be calling the cops to come help and this man before him had a wild look on his face that scared the living spit out of him.

"You're gonna tell me where to find that goddamn Jamison Reagan or you ain't gonna breathe anymore!" Quinlan demanded as he pushed his wiry but surprisingly strong forearm up against Sam's neck and made good on his threat to cut off his airway. He had tried his hand at searching for the Reagan family home for the past several days by following Frank's detail from 1PP, but gave up when it was apparent they took alternate routes and frankly even he knew it was too stupidly dangerous to put himself in their line of sight like that. Still, he had to find that damn house and settle this once and for all… that's where they had to be and where they were all gonna pay for taking that kid and coming after him at his uncle's bar like that. For his part, Moore's stepson had no love lost for Jamie… in fact he hated the guy he had never met for the constant comparisons his stepfather always made to that evidently near-perfect son of the famous Commissioner Frank Reagan… top grades, Harvard grad, cop, church going…

"Their church," Sam gasped as his eyes bugged out in fear. "Please!…" he managed as Quinlan loosened his arm the tiniest bit and allowed for some passage of both breath and speech. "My dad always told me they go to church as a family every Sunday… St. Anthony's in Bay Ridge… said it's right by their house… he wanted me to go there for counseling. I swear! That's all I know!"

"You better be telling me the truth, Sammy boy," Quinlan relented as he took the pressure off slightly before offering one last parting calculated drive to the throat with his elbow that left Sam doubled over silently clutching his now-collapsed windpipe and dropping to his knees while wheezing desperately for air that would never come again. Samuel Roberts, son of Cynthia and stepson of Garrett Moore would be found stone cold dead in this dirty alleyway the next morning. This was no time to leave behind witnesses.

"Guess your daddy's not gonna be able to help you out this time," Quinlan quipped as he walked away and turned the corner with no apparent haste in his steps.

* * *

 _Parts of that were specifically for lawslave as she had a few requests and gave me a wealth of visuals for this part of the story, (you know what they were, thank you again! lol). Next, after being shaken by the sudden and at this point apparently unrelated death of Garrett's stepson, Frank seeks to further resolve some of what's still missing with his youngest boy while Quinlan continues to zero in on his targets. On a lighter note… any guesses on the honeymoon spot? Evidently Jamie has a secret weakness that Eddie is just about to be made aware of (remember the wooden boat obsession from their trip upstate in Snapshots II?) and it might just put her plans for sandy warm beaches and those new swimsuits in jeopardy._


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

"Garrett sure seems to be taking this hard. I never saw him like that before," Henry noted from his seat next to Frank in the SUV as the detail was returning them home to Bay Ridge following Samuel Robert's funeral the following Wednesday.

"It was his son," Frank reminded. "One he raised as his own for all those years after he married Cynthia. You know how hard it is to lose a child, no matter…"

"One that would have been better off behind bars than back out on the street with no consequences for his behavior," Henry asserted as he glanced at his own troubled boy since he knew for a fact that Frank's still, for lack of a better word, cordial relationship with Jamie was bothering him to no end. His youngest grandson had been pleasant but still somewhat only lukewarm to his father since their talk at the airport, and it was obvious that certain spark the two of them once shared was still painfully missing. "He did him no favors by allowing that addiction to go on there in the end, Francis. It was just a matter of time. It would have been better to break it and sweep up the pieces afterwards."

"I'm sure he was just doing his best to try to protect him," Frank admitted with a heavy heart, almost ashamed at himself for using those words.

"Any leads on the bastard that did this?"

"Not yet… no forensics. Canvass turned up a couple reports that he was seen arguing with a blond man wearing sunglasses… hardly anything solid. Likely a drug deal gone bad… cold though, to purposefully let someone suffocate like that. Damn it, Pop, just a few weeks ago Garrett was there for me when I thought it was Jamie and now I had to be the one to give him this kind of news. I don't know how he's going get over this… the guilt…"

" _Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity,"_ Henry offered with a grump as Frank stared back at him dumbfounded. "Oh, come on, Francis, your mother quoted that damn Hippocrates stuff practically every day of our married life. I could recite it in my sleep. Where do you think you came up with half of it? Garrett is going to need time, just like Jamie does. I know you're still upset about him too, but the boy will come around. He's trying… you can't expect he could put everything behind him just like that, but take the opportunity and go talk to him again," he added. "We need to start healing this family."

Once again it was a penitent Francis Xavier Reagan that listened to his father's advice and stood outside the entry to his childhood home after knocking on the old leaded glass window.

"Dad," Jamie greeted him as he opened the door a moment later with a wet paintbrush in his hand. "You, um… well, you don't look like you came dressed to help," he observed while eyeing his father's classic dark three-piece suit and spit-shined leather shoes.

"We were at the funeral," Frank explained simply. "I had my detail drop me off before they took your grandfather home. Mind if I come in?"

"Oh, no… course not," Jamie replied as he stepped aside and closed the door behind them. "Sorry, I'm almost done and I've gotta finish this while I still have a wet edge," he explained as he quickly turned and walked back towards the dining room. "Eddie took Kaylin to wrap up things with the florist," he called over his shoulder while Frank paused to study the remarkable changes to the house the pair had made in the short, but highly concentrated time they had spent there along with Danny's help. Nearly everything was in order now and there were clear signs of the home's former glory and his mother's still-reaching loving touch.

"Jamie… you and Eddie have truly done a fine job here," Frank offered as he walked back to see what the current project was. He was stunned to find his son putting the final touches on a second coat of lacquer for the once-again majestic table that had always adorned this space. It had taken a full two days for the brothers to sand it down thoroughly, restain and now seal the beautiful piece which looked now just as it did back in the day when it was on full display for every Sunday dinner. "Oh, my…" he trailed off.

"I found the chairs out in the garage," Jamie explained as he straightened up to take a look at it once again while he closed the lid on his can. "They're usable even though they'll need a little work too, but I wanted to get this done first."

"No, it's magnificent," Frank breathed as he teared up a little as he thought about his mother rushing around and polishing that table. "It's been so long, wait until Pop sees it again… you're grandmother always loved this room…" he added with a warm smile.

"We will too," Jamie admitted with his signature small sideways grin as he cleaned up his brushes and tools and carried them into the kitchen to wash. "There's still a lot of painting and wallpapering that Eddie wants to do, but it feels good to have some things back in place."

"I've missed _this…_ you know," Frank admitted as he followed behind and watched his son's shoulders slump a little with that revelation. "Jamie, the two of us could always just kick back and talk to each other before… watch a game or fish at the pier. I know you need some time to process what was said before we can do that again…"

"No, I know," his youngest replied softly without turning around as he continued to busy himself running water and avoiding eye contact. "I'm sorry about that… I just had to sort through things, you know how I can be…"

"Jamie, please… you have nothing to be sorry for," Frank insisted. "Whenever you're ready, I just wanted to let you know I'll be here so we can…"

"I _am_ ready; I don't want to feel like this anymore, but... I don't know how to let it go," Jamie admitted suddenly with a very heavy sigh as he turned around and finally sought Frank's eyes for the first time in what felt like forever to his father. That in and of itself was a victory as far as Frank was concerned. "This thing with mom… I've tried, but it's like a wall in front of me no matter where I look. I've thought about it and what's happened with Kaylin… I've been tempted myself to do so many of the same things for her and Eddie that now I understand why… some of it anyway… I just don't know how to let it all go and completely forgive and move on, Dad... I want to do that so much, but I still keep thinking about that night… when mom left and I still feel like I have to tell her… explain why..."

"I think that you shouldn't feel the need to rush that," Frank offered honestly, taking Henry's advice once more even though he wished he could just flip a switch and make all of this conflict go away so he could have his youngest boy back. "This has all been wrapped up tight inside you for so long. Don't be afraid to face those feelings and the resolution will come in time… it doesn't have to be anger anymore, understanding will let you move forward and eventually put it behind you… that's something you didn't have before," he frowned though when he saw the continued resistance on his son's face. "Go talk to your mother if you need to, Jamie… you pray, right? Find a place to talk to her."

"I guess that might work…" his son waffled noncommittedly. There were so many other things on his plate right now and broken pieces yet to reassemble first.

"The whole family needs to heal and forgive so we can come together again," his father advised.

"You think maybe it could start here?" Jamie asked quietly as his eyes glimmered with a little hope. There were many other things that needed to be put right besides his own feelings, and this house that was still filled with his Grandmother's spirit seemed to be the place to do it. "I mean we have Grandma's table now and everything… it would be wrong not to use it," he offered before explaining himself. "It's been awhile since all this started and Eddie wants us to try having a Sunday dinner here with everyone this week… she misses it and it's really important to her…. to us. She's even reached out to Linda and agreed to take some self-defense classes with her so that they can put things behind them. They go to their second one tonight and hopefully Danny can get things settled now, too. If Eddie's willing to do all that for our family…"

"Then the family should be willing to do the same," Frank agreed with a deep relief at a solution that did seem like the perfect thing to do and a very positive step forward, so he likewise did just that and once again reached for his son and pulled him in close for a hug which was again reciprocated with a heavy sigh as another round of tension was lifted between the two. "Yes, my mother would want that very much and it will make Pop more than happy. Thank you, Jamie. I'll speak to your sister and have everyone else here with bells on," he offered.

"Just don't forget to bring the scotch, too," his youngest kidded as he stepped back and rubbed the moisture away from the corner of his eyes with a sniff.

"Yes, there's that," Frank agreed with a small laugh as he did the same. "Although you know what Joe Bob Briggs always used to say…"

"The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother?"

###

"Oh, my gosh I don't think I can even walk out to the car," Linda admitted as she and Eddie collapsed down on the mats in the corner of the gym after the end of their second Krav Maga class. "I think even the muscles in my eyelashes hurt," she complained.

"Mine, too," Eddie grimaced as she lounged there herself like the pile of damp laundry laying next to Danny's air mattress… the clothing that Jamie had thrown out on the back deck this morning as his patience for such things was wearing thin. The older Reagan brother was going to find himself staying there naked soon if he didn't get a move on things, but that wasn't something she was about to bring up in front of his wife. "Thank God the house is mostly done now. I mean we still have to move all of our old stuff in, but all I can think of is staying on the couch with my feet up for the next three days. I had no idea what I was getting us into… sorry," she added.

"No, don't be," Linda offered. "I mean it hurts so bad, but…"

"...feels so good," Eddie agreed. "I can't believe you were able to flip that big guy over your shoulder when he tried the choke hold. I mean he was like what? Two-fifty? Just wait until a perp tries something like that with me."

"Yeah, right now though if somebody grabbed me to steal my purse I couldn't even lift a finger to wave goodbye to it… although the demonstration about the five places to hit someone to knock them out instantly was certainly enlightening from a nurse's standpoint." Linda added as she reached for her water bottle. "And who knew it was better to kick for the groin with your shin because it's harder and you can inflict more damage,"

"They don't even teach all that stuff in the academy," Eddie agreed with a small laugh. "Probably afraid of lawsuits… the men could never handle it, and I'm not so sure Danny will be happy when you tell him what you've learned."

"No, probably not," Linda paused as she chewed her lip nervously. This was the second evening this week the two women had spent together, and she hadn't had the courage to bring this up before but was feeling more empowered now. "About that… my Danny. Listen, Eddie… I'm, um, really sorry… I know things have been…"

"Awkward?" Eddie sighed as she grimaced and pushed herself up to sit against the wall. "It's okay Linda, you don't have to say anything else. I'm sorry too. It was an emotional situation for everyone and I should have handled things better myself."

"No, Eddie," Linda insisted. "I do need to say this. Things with Danny and me… this had been building up for a long time. I was so hurt even before he walked out… I felt like he was abandoning me and the boys at the time, but he was right… we needed to step back and remember what it was like to be us before the shooting when we were happy every time the other one stepped in the doorway. He said you really helped him understand that… and I can't thank you enough, especially with what Jamie is going through right now, too… if I had a part in making it worse… well of course I did," she admitted with deep regret and a heavy sigh. "I just feel terrible about that and the things I said. I don't know what got into me. I guess I couldn't see past my own problems."

"Been there, done it and have the t-shirt," Eddie offered in support as she thought about recent events. "Sometimes I wonder what I've gotten myself into, too."

"It's funny you say that though, with all of you being in that house…" Linda mused. "Grandma Betty was the one that sat me down before we were married and warned me about what to expect as the wife of a cop… especially with her precious Danny Reagan... and she was right about pretty much everything. I guess I didn't listen too well. God, if she was here to see us today," she paused and crossed herself thinking about the response to their separation and that indomitable Irish finger wagging at her.

"Linda, I _am_ a cop and Jamie and I aren't even married yet and I can tell you that's not been easy for me either," Eddie admitted. "I just want him and Kaylin safe… the same as you want for your family. Everyone understands that, especially after what happened to you last year so know that we all love you and want to put this behind us. Please come to dinner at our house this Sunday. It's gonna be a fresh start for everyone… Jamie and his dad, you guys… all of us," she insisted warmly.

"Well, maybe on one condition," Linda sighed again heavily after she thought about it and glanced over at Eddie's concerned face. "You'll let me help cook?" she offered with a small smirk. "I miss that too."

"Oh, yes!" Eddie laughed. "For the love of God, unless you all are willing to try my sad version of Hungarian goulash, I'm definitely gonna need help with that! Deal?" she added with her hand extended.

"Deal," Linda agreed as she shook it before moaning and grabbing her arm. "That is if either one of us can pick up a pot by then… and we still have Friday's class to get through!"

"Yes, you're right," Eddie moaned and sank back. "I feel like I need that beach vacation right now!"

"Oh, so you and Jamie have decided," Linda inquired as she slowly gathered her things, grateful the conversation had moved on. "So where _is_ the honeymoon, anyway? Hawaii or the Caribbean?"

"I don't know yet... Jamie's planning everything with the travel agent; he insisted when all of this started so I would have one less thing to worry about. It's up to him and now he says he's not gonna tell me where we're going until after the I do's so that something is a surprise on our wedding night," she admitted with a frown and her nose twitched as the notion still rankled her. Edit Janko was not one to be happy about being kept in the dark about such things.

"OH NO! You actually fell for that!" Linda gasped as she turned to Eddie in shock. "Honey, didn't anyone warn you?... that Jamie's just like Frank when it comes to planning trips, and they both have a warped sense of… and a love for… and they both always wanted to..." she stopped herself and painfully pursed her lips tight. "I'm sure it will be fine," she added in her most reassuring strained voice as she looked at her future sister-in-law with sincere pity. "He wouldn't dare… not on your honeymoon."

"WHAT?!" Eddie begged as her eyes flashed nervously now and she sat straight up in spite of every single muscle's protest. "Wouldn't dare what?! Wait! Tell me! He promised me a beach!"

"Oh, I'm sure you're gonna get that," was the only cryptic answer Linda was willing to provide. There were some Reagan family secrets that could not be revealed, and Eddie was better off not knowing for now if it was already too late.

###

Just as Eddie was searching for answers about her trip and the Reagan family was beginning to draw closer… another was doing the same. Jared Quinlan had hunted through the streets of Bay Ridge after getting an initial direction from Frank's SUV from church the previous Sunday and he now knew exactly where the police commissioner and his family could be found. Still there had been no sign of that goddamned Sergeant Jamison Reagan or that little blue-eyed blond-headed girl that they had snatched away like they owned her on any of the careful drive throughs he had made past the home. Soon though one of them was bound to make a mistake and lead him to them, or he'd make damn sure to take another to force them out into the open.

It was only a matter of when now, and Quinlan had learned a thing or two about being patient this time.

* * *

 _So things are setting up for a memorable Sunday dinner, aren't they?... or will Quinlan maybe find what he's looking for before that? Remember the new house is only a few blocks away from where he's now roaming. Next, an older brother decides to take Jamie out for the evening to unwind when it becomes apparent that he might be ready to take this into his own hands, and then another mistake I warned you about is revealed._

 _And unfortunately folks, until the reviews problem is fixed this is where we are going to hold, fingers crossed it is today. I'm missing a lot of the email notifications now as well and we are getting into a critical part of the story so it is grating on *my*_ _OCD tendencies to watch the counter go up and not be able to view/respond. As soon as it is working again I will carry on with my normal daily posting schedule and add that Snapshot II bonus chapter._


	42. Chapter 42

_Yes! We're back in business after that brief timeout, just as Jared Quinlan is. Thanks for understanding and look for that promised bonus chapter of Snapshots II called "_ _Karma with Sprinkles on Top" to post shortly! Here we go!_

* * *

Chapter 42

"No, Jamie! Don't do it!" Eddie implored sleepily as he finally cursed out loud after several restless hours before flipping on the nightstand lamp and she watched him swing his legs over the side of the bed before beginning to sort through the nearest dresser looking for his running gear.

The clock read 4:25 am on Saturday morning.

"I _swear_ this is gonna end today," Jamie vowed as he halted his search only long enough to shake his head once more at the rumbling, halting, hiccuping brotherly snores wafting up the steps. "I don't know how Linda stands to be in the same room as that," he added as his last nerve had finally been grated upon. "She's a nurse for God's sake… doesn't that just scream sleep apnea to you?"

"Just close the door and _please_ come back to bed," Eddie begged. "He'll roll over soon."

"And then what?" Jamie demanded in a huff as he turned back to her with a little wild edge in his eyes as his urges had thus far gone unsatisfied due to his brother's renewed close proximity at all times Kaylin had been asleep or sufficiently preoccupied the past few days… almost as if he _knew_ what he was thinking about on top of everything else, damn it. "Are we planning on giving him this room once the master bedroom is done? He'll be on the same floor and right next to us with the hallway acting like a virtual sound tunnel. We'll never be able to… you know… with him in the house too! I can't... the thought of it!... NO, NO, NO!… Ed, this ends today! It's time for some tough love," he insisted as she frowned back, unsure if her protégé was quite ready to leave the nest. "He needs to go home! You said yourself that Linda's ready to take him back, so why is he still here?!"

"You'll wake Kaylin," Eddie warned, trying to appeal to his fatherly senses since it looked like all others had gone out of the window. "We can just ask him to take her out for ice cream or something later and then we can…"

"NO! I am not scheduling time for that with my brother! He'll see right through me! I'll never hear the end of it!" Of course that was just a convenient excuse to give her at the moment. If Jamie had been honest he would have admitted that the thought he'd expressed to Danny the other day after the false alarm with the passing car had taken hold… that the real reason he had been up all night was because he was ready to put himself into the open to draw this man out and finish this in an effort to keep his family safe. He was thinking like a cop now and not a distracted, shell-shocked victim. His father, brother and even Eddie had all advised him against running away from Quinlan to take Kaylin and go to California, well now Jamie felt like his back was up against the wall as he made his stand here and it was time to go on the offensive to end this siege so they could go on living.

This would be settled once and for all, and if necessary someone would be put away in their box permanently. But first, he needed to get rid of his brother who had stubbornly redoubled his efforts to be present at nearly all times the past few days and would indeed see right through his actions if he remained.

"Jamie, what are you going to do?" Eddie sighed as it was obvious now that he was up to no good since his basic running ensemble of shorts, t-shirt and sneakers was already on and he was busily rooting through one of the boxes he'd brought back from storage the night before after she'd asked him to find all the kitchenware so she could unpack it and prepare for the planned family dinner the following day. "You shouldn't go out by yourself for a run in the dark… Danny will never let you," she warned.

"Counting on that… but remember Quinlan's practically blind at night and I'm just taking Dr. Meherin's advice about finding a positive outlet for my stress," he advised in a covert effort to justify his actions as he located his prize and sat up in triumph. "Here it is!" he exclaimed as he held up his brother's cherished old iPod while clutching the big Bose wireless speaker they had used for surround sound at the apartment with an evil sneer. "He's always hated Joe's taste in music."

"Oh, no! Jamie, we have neighbors! It's early!" Eddie warned as now she had a pretty good idea of where this was going although the extent of what appeared to be a simply sibling rivalry dispute still amazed her. "They'll call the cops! We'll never hear the end of that!"

"Old house, thick brick walls and we've got big yard space in between… we'll be fine." There was no talking him out of this… all systems were go at the moment for phase one.

It was time for all out psychological warfare.

Content to let the music do the talking for him, Jamie sneaked downstairs once more and made a few preparations before hitting the play button with no mercy in his heart as he sat back to watch his brother's reaction.

Daniel Reagan _experienced,_ rather than heard, the intense vibrations of the initial beat which literally echoed through his chest wall and interrupted his heart rhythm as the song had been queued up to the third and most obnoxiously loud verse in Jamie's opinion before he had positioned the speaker directly next to his brother's bed and turned the volume and bass to full. Danny had always despised Joe's all-time favorite band, Queen, and this particular song most of all, and his youngest brother knew without a doubt that if this wake up call didn't work outright, then the lyrics themselves would propel Danny directly into a guilty phase two of his eviction plan… accompanying him on the RUN, something his older brother hated even more than English rock music. One way or another, this was gonna work.

 _Hey-uh!  
BUMP BUMP BUMP BAHDA BUMP BUMP  
BUMP BUMP BUMP Another one bites the dust..._

"JESUS CHRIST!" Danny howled as he rolled off the bed and backed up against the wall, sure he had just woken up in the middle of a machine gun nest back in Fallujah. His phone vibrated right off the bed after him.

 _There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man  
And bring him to the ground_

"JAMIE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? Turn that effing noise off!"

 _But I'm ready, yes, I'm ready for you  
I'm standing on my own two feet_

"GOD! You're worse than Linda when it comes to this kind of stuff!"

 _BUMP BUMP BUMP BAHDA BUMP BUMP  
BUMP BUMP BUMP Another one bites the dust-ah  
Ooh, shooter!_

"Then please, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND GO BACK TO LINDA!" Jamie finally shouted after turning down the volume before the chorus could start again. "I swear if you stay here as some self-appointed bodyguard until this is over I will blast you out of bed every morning at 4:30 with this and drag you out for a run with me! I need a break!"

"ALRIGHT!" Danny rolled his eyes and conceded that it appeared he had overstayed his welcome and that his little brother had finally had enough of his presence as this was obviously no idle threat since the kid was sitting in front of him fully decked out in his jogging gear. Daniel Reagan did not run for pleasure… _ever._ "TRUCE YOU STUPID IDIOT! I'll leave tonight, okay? Linda's picking up a roast for tomorrow and coming over to help Eddie later, but please for the love of God, NO RUNNING! If you need to get out of the house so bad I'll take you to the bar for darts and beer while the girls have their time, okay? Can we do that instead?"

It worked, or so Jamie thought. In reality his older brother had already prepared himself for this… well, maybe not _this_ with the early morning musical assault to his seven senses, but rather the effort to distance himself, and was two moves ahead as he had no intention of letting the kid out of his sight at any point in the near future now. Today he would placate him with preparations for the dinner and tomorrow he'd let the family exert its renewed pressure on him. If that didn't work one word to his new best bud Eddie and she would shut this down in a heartbeat. Jamie sat back with a self-satisfied grin with his false victory though while poor Bear was practically peeling himself off the ceiling above the refrigerator after that sudden noisy onslaught. He regarded them with shimmering green eyes, a smudge of white offset on one side of his nose and a fiercely twitching tail. In short, the cat was exceptionally pissed off now and would be in no mood to suffer fools for the rest of the day.

Unknown to both brothers, this _would_ end tonight as Jamie proposed prophetically, but not in any way, shape or form in the manner that they had planned.

###

Once again it was loud music that enveloped the pair, but this time they were paying it no mind as a hotly contested game of darts was now taking place front and center.

"Keep drinking, Harvard," Danny advised as he carefully gripped the small barrel of his chosen missile before taking aim and executing a perfect trajectory, landing it solidly dead center in the bullseye. "You might be getting the better of me at the range now, but I own you here."

"Pride goeth before the fall," Jamie muttered, although after his third stiff drink in short order he was obviously lacking on the fine motor skills and he tagged one of the outside rings with his next shot. "Too bad you didn't break your right arm."

"Okay, Dad," Danny smirked. "Right church but wrong pew. That's another round on you."

"This s'not fair… you're s'not even drinking… you've been nursing that same bottle since we got here," Jamie griped with a slight slur already. Like it or not, he had needed this release in the worst way after the past couple of weeks, and his older brother was content to let him get hammered while he kept a sober careful watch out for them both. The fact that they were in a well-known cop bar was comforting, but the trip here and back was a calculated risk since every time Jamie stepped out of the door he was placing himself in harm's way. The task force had made no further inroads in finding Jared Quinlan in recent days and there was no end in sight to this siege. "Come on, double or nothing."

"Let's go sit down for a while, sport," Danny advised. "Someone needs to keep an eye on you."

"Why is that?" Jamie questioned as they returned to their seats and he sank down heavily on the bar stool. "I mean why aren't we keeping an eye on you?"

"Because you're the one with the target on your back this time, numbnuts… remember?" Danny spat although he instantly regretted getting short with his now inebriated brother like that. Had the tables been turned, he would have probably shot his way out of the imposed confinement by now.

"This has s'gotta end, Dan," Jamie insisted as he shook his head and took another sip from his glass. "I've gotta do something… we can't go on another week like this. I can't sit in that house and be afraid to come out in the daytime… I feel like a freaking vampire. Maybe he's gone and on the run… he knows we're onto him."

"No way… the psych report on this guy is clear, kid. He's too possessive to give up. I know…"

"You don't know!" Jamie snapped back. "Not once in your life have you ever been put behind a wall with a constant babysitter like this… Dad s'never… not even when you were gonna testify against Salazar and he took Linda. You were still allowed to defend yourself and work the case to find her!"

"And you were a big part of that, right? Don't you get it?" Danny reminded as the thought of his wife's kidnapping still sent shivers down his spine. "We would have never found her in that house in time if it hadn't been for you and that lead you gave us on tracing that tricked out car back to that dealer to get the address. I will always owe you for that! You saved Linda's life… not because you were out banging down doors and roughing up skells like I was, but because you used your head! Try doing that this time! I know right now you're frustrated and you wish that you could be out there like me, but I gotta tell you… that's not all it's cracked up to be either… look what it's done to my marriage, and a lot of times I wish I could be more like you! You need to get your head out of your ass about that!"

"About what?" Jamie demanded with a frown.

"About the fact that you _are_ different from the rest of us, and maybe that makes you a _better_ cop than any of us could be… kid, no one else, not even Dad thinks about the angles you do sometimes and your heart is always for the good. So if it pisses you off when we circle the wagons around you, that's too bad… it's what _we_ know how to do… that doesn't make you weak and it doesn't mean we're all sitting around waiting for something to happen to you because you're some kind of marked man… those doubts gotta go. You get into this stuff because you're not afraid to put it out there for other people… this time for Kaylin, and you're as good as any one of us on the street, but yeah... you're the special baby of the family and yeah, that's tough cookies and it's not gonna change. Stop trying to prove yourself… we're way past that already. Kicking me out of the house so you can do this on your own by drawing him out isn't the way to go."

Crap, figures he knew all along. "Then what is?"

"Being smart and keeping your head down and letting the rest of us take care of the problem this time… you gotta start trusting that we can handle this. What do you think Eddie would do if I went home and told her the only reason you want me gone is so you can go off half cocked and try to get this guy by yourself? Huh?"

Jamie closed his eyes while painfully imagining that. "She'd shoot me first," he admitted with a frown as he put his head down to rest on the bar in defeat. So much for the grand plan. He _was_ losing his touch.

"Probably. You're the one that told me not to mess with Janko women, right?"

"Right," came the muffled reply.

"Then don't be stupid now, Harvard. We'll find this guy… all of us. No one hurts our family and gets away with it. Now drink up and I'll take you home where you're safe and belong right now, got it? Linda should be there by the time we get back."

###

Linda Reagan nervously glanced at the wrapped package on the front seat of the car. As promised, she had picked up the nicest roast she could find and planned to deliver it tonight so that she and Eddie could prepare Jamie's requested favorite spicy marinade and pre-bake one of the side dishes to make room since the older house was not equipped with a large oven. Mrs. Peterson, despite her lavish spending on all other appliances, had evidently held little interest in cooking so the large meal needed to be scheduled properly to make sure everything was ready for dinner.

As she steered her car towards Bay Ridge, Linda could not remember a time she had felt so much like an outsider at one of these events. Right from the beginning, well ever since their third date anyway, she had been welcomed into the Reagan family with open arms and even with that… meeting her new boyfriend's parents hadn't seemed like such a big deal… they were just kids back then after all, her and Danny… only a little older than Jack… and so blissfully unaware of the consequences life could bring. Now after all these years she had managed to let something else change her to the extent that it had alienated the whole family in nearly one fell swoop and frankly, it was a scary proposition to walk back in but Danny, and even Eddie, had made great efforts to bring her back so she would just have to find the courage somewhere to do it and ask for the forgiveness from the others she hoped would come. Her husband and her boys deserved no less.

Preoccupied with those memories, Linda didn't even realize that she had driven to the family home on autopilot and parked out front in the waning light of early evening. She chuckled after she got out of the car and realized her error, grateful that she had caught herself before walking in on Frank and Henry unexpectedly. _Now that would have been awkward given the circumstances,_ she thought as she got back in the vehicle to make the short trip a few blocks away to Eddie and Jamie's house instead, completely forgetting about the threat that had them hiding there in the first place.

It was no laughing matter though for the pair of nearly nightblind ice-cold blue eyes that sparked with interest as they noted the blond-haired female with her hair pulled back who so closely resembled the woman he had seen that goddamn Jamison Reagan attending to at the hospital and his apartment a few weeks ago… the one he was pretty damn positive from this distance matched the photo of a certain E. Janko he had managed to find online since he wasn't going to be so stupid as to screw up that way again.

Jared Quinlan had a smile on his face as he squinted and put his car in gear to follow. "Time to finish this," he muttered.

Unknown to him, this _would_ end tonight, but not in any way, shape or form in the manner that he had planned.

* * *

 _Oops. Linda was removed from much of what had happened and is very emotional about current circumstances, so it's not quite fair to blame her for that… still she's a long-time cop's wife and perhaps should have taken some more care, but she might not be the only one to let their guard down as Eddie makes a crucial error in judgement as well. Will they get the opportunity to redeem themselves or will it cause a final tug to the thread that will unravel the Reagan family forever? These were the mistakes Quinlan was hoping for as he will make his presence known in a horribly unkind fashion, and it wouldn't be me if I didn't allow for a run of some upcoming cliffies at this point in the story so prepare yourselves!_


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

"Kaylin, sweetie, please come pick up your coloring books off the counter before your Auntie Linda gets here because we need to work on making the food in that space," Eddie called to the little girl as she busied herself washing and stacking the extra dishes, pots and pans that Jamie had retrieved from storage the day before. "I can't believe he brought all this stuff home and I still can't find the stupid gravy boat," she muttered as she changed course to walk over and poke through a few more boxes that had been left by the front door, only to come across that same one she had dumped on the bedroom floor that first day when her mother arrived from Rochester… an almost useless mixed set of old heavy cast iron frying pans and mismatched pots she had kept in her own apartment and barely used. That innocent morning that had seemed so trying at the time… the one when all the clanging racket had woken Jamie and a feverish Kaylin before all of _this_ had happened and that monster made his way into their present... that day seemed like it was an eternity ago and not just a mere few weeks. So much had changed since then and countless lives altered in irreparable ways.

"Well, at least I know it's not in there," she huffed as she tossed the cardboard lid against the wall in frustration and left those potentially useless items to be sorted through, possibly thrown out or at least taken back to storage later. There were only so many frying pans one needed in a house and Jamie had come with his own complete and perfectly maintained set that was already hanging with pride on the rack over the butcher's block.

With a heavy sigh, she turned back into the kitchen and considered the fact that perhaps he had already unpacked the missing pitcher and stored it above the counter in one of the upper cabinets since it's not like it was an item they often used… well, before anyway as there hadn't been much room to entertain in their small apartment and that thought left her wondering suddenly what he was doing with a gravy boat in his possession in the first place. _Who gives something like that to a bachelor?_ she pondered before frowning with the possibility that it had come from the time in his prior life when he was engaged to Sydney and her nose performed its customary involuntary Addie twitch. With a renewed sense of purpose she pulled out a newly purchased higher and much sturdier step stool and began rooting around up there, irritating an already annoyed Bear who had been perched in his favorite spot near the ceiling when she slammed the door next to him a little harder than necessary. He gave her an angry whiskered scowl at the further disturbance and jumped down to the floor with a grumpy hiss to stroll off into the pantry and hide behind the recycling bin in his second-favorite invisible lair. There was not a lot of love lost between Eddie and the cat... it was more like a mutual standoff as they both respected the other's place in the household now, but she did feel a tweak of remorse at agitating him further after the early morning raucous had left him skittish all day. The rest of the family would have to be warned to give him adequate space or suffer the consequences tomorrow she reminded herself.

Kaylin in the meantime had come back in the kitchen as requested and was busying herself with the coloring books once more. _So much for clearing the counter space,_ Eddie thought with a smile as no one could begrudge the little girl on her serious marker missions and her current project consisted of a fluffy yellow duck and Easter eggs out of a book left over from the spring holiday. Kaylin did still love her duckies and was demanding another trip up to the McPherson's estate to feed her feathered friends again.

Eddie longed for the day they could just hop in the car without concern and do things like that again on a moment's notice without worrying about a dark cloud following behind.

A beep from the alarm panel and subsequent ring of the doorbell alerted Eddie to a visitor and a glance at the high resolution security monitor on the counter showed a fidgeting Linda Reagan at the front door. After weeks of non-activity, the detail across the street had been dismissed when David's system had been installed as there were panic buttons available that sent instant notices to the local precinct as well as Frank's house down the way, and let's face it… from what they had learned of Quinlan's nighttime visual acumen, it was unlikely he would be roaming around in the dark. Eddie quickly entered the code to disarm the alarm and unlock the front door so that she could let Linda in and they could retrieve the promised groceries from her car parked on the street.

That was a second mistake as distraction would offer a determined and once again lucky Quinlan the opportunity he needed.

"So glad you made it!" Eddie enthused as she greeted her future sister-in-law warmly and welcomed her into the home as the still unlocked door closed behind them. Linda's eyes immediately roamed around the once-familiar surroundings as she recalled what Danny had told her about its recent state. It was obvious there was still much work to be done, but the charms of Grandma Betty's house were also evident even with the more modern look of Jamie's beloved leather living room setting before them.

"Wow, it's been so long since I've been in here," Linda offered with a sincere smile as she clutched the heavy roast in front of her with both hands. "I can't believe how much you guys managed to get done in such a short time."

"Well, we've had nothing but time," Eddie acknowledged. "Here, let me put that away," she offered as she took the meat and walked it over to the refrigerator while Linda set her purse down on the far counter.

"Hiya Auntie Linda," Kaylin squeaked shyly from her seat as she looked up with a smile.

"Hi yourself, sweetheart," Linda smiled as she reached down to hug and kiss the child. "Oh, I missed you so much! That's such a pretty picture!" she praised the little girl before turning back to Eddie. "Hey, I picked up a few more fresh vegetables at that farmer's market on 10th, they're still in the car since I could barely lift the roast… I should go get the rest of the bags because I left the door wide open, but my arms are still so sore from those classes! I could barely make it through my shift at the hospital today," she chattered on. "I thought we could prep that steamed broccoli dish Nicki likes with a side of the cheesy dressing that Henry's not allowed to have," she added as she strolled back out into the living room, intent on doing just that until she became preoccupied with the sight of Danny's overnight bag and clothing tidily packed up in the corner near the door. That could only mean one thing unless it was all Jamie's doing as her husband was not known for a neatness predilection as his younger brother was. Daniel Reagan intended to come home tonight.

Linda was both excited and conflicted at the same time and her face showed it.

Eddie, meanwhile had finally found joy in locating the missing gravy boat with a glance in the last box she had left to search through and carried it with her in triumph after offering a little huff of relief before following Linda's gaze as she sensed the subject of the angst. "He told you, right? I mean he should have… he thought you guys were ready."

"No, but that would be my Danny," Linda sighed. "The boys are at a sleepover tonight though."

"Well, then that might be the perfect time, right?" Eddie replied with a cheeky smile as her fingers anxiously tapped the porcelain vessel in her hands. Jamie was not the only one with urges lately and those thoughts were perhaps clouding the fact that Danny and his wife still had a lot of trust issues to work through. Perhaps she should have made sure the little bird had warned the home roost before agreeing to let Jamie kick it out of the nest.

"I guess," Linda waffled a bit as she glanced over with raised eyebrows. "Is it wrong that I'm a little nervous about that? I mean he's my husband of almost eighteen years. The last couple of weeks have been awful without him there… it's the longest time we've spent apart since he was in the Marines, but at the same time I'm afraid if he comes back that things will slide backwards between us again. Neither one of us have been very good about keeping our tempers in check around each other the past few months."

"Well, I'm not one to say," Eddie admitted with a pensive look on her face. "Jamie and I have been up and down with all the stress that's been on us since this started and we had a huge argument that I still regret, but it almost killed me when we were apart for those few days and I thought he was leaving… I can't imagine not wanting him to be here, and I don't think that's what you're doing either. Danny's really ready to make an effort…" she trailed off. "He really loves you, Linda. He wants his family back."

"Well, then I guess I'm gonna have to try my best and leave the rest to faith as Grandma Betty would say, right?" the older woman reflected with a small smile. "Speaking of her, Danny said he and Jamie had been working on refinishing her table all week. Can I see it? I always loved that dining room set… we'll never in a million years will have one like it considering the size of the shoebox we live in."

"Oh, of course," Eddie said as she proudly led her back to the space. "And thank goodness it was still here, and the boys were able to reclaim it… we never in a million years would have been able to afford anything like it and it's so perfect in this room… we still need to have the chairs reupholstered, but Danny even found the extra table leaves up in the attic. We'll have lots of places for those extra half-dozen great-grandchildren Henry keeps talking about," she laughed. "Or at least the great-great ones that will be here when Nicki and your kids have kids. That's pretty far down the road for us anyway with Kaylin being only two. Besides, I don't see Jamie and me having the time or energy to keep up with many more than her; she gives us a run for our money as it is sometimes. Speaking of which," Eddie mused as her mommy radar went off. "Somebody's being pretty quiet out there… she's usually such a chatterbox with company now. I'd better go check on her and see what she's up to."

The laughing and lightheartedness was cut short just seconds later as the blood ran instantly cold through both women like ice water in their veins. The pair froze as the only sound that remained was the shattering of the cherished gravy boat on the floor when it fell from Eddie's grasp after they turned the corner to see two sets of matching light blue eyes blinking back at them… one pair smoldering with obvious burning rage as it held the other terrified one that was tearing up in its tight grasp with a hand clamped over her mouth and a gun pointed to the blond little curls on the side of her head.

"Evening," Jared Quinlan sneered back at them as he stood by the counter where Kaylin had been happily coloring just moments before, never noticing as the stealthy man purporting to be her father had snuck in behind and snatched her up to frighten her with no conscience. "I believe you have something that's mine," he added with a calculated rasp as he nodded to the child and brandished the weapon to further emphasize his intentions. "And I intend to take it back. Now where is that effing Jamison Reagan? Huh? I've got some business to finish with him first and you're all gonna meet one of my friends here the second I see his eyes this time."

* * *

 _So did your blood also chill with the thought of Quinlan having his scummy hands on our precious little Kaylin Elizabeth Reagan like that? Mine too. Eddie and Linda are both in shock at the circumstances now and know in their hearts that Jamie will lose his head and jump in front of a bullet if he sees his beloved daughter in a state like that, not to mention what Danny might try. Is there anything they can do, or is it already too late as time is short since the unsuspecting pair of Reagan brothers are just seconds away from returning home themselves?_


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

Oblivious to the imminent threat to the family now alive and present with ice-cold blue eyes flashing just blocks away in his former home, a relieved Henry Reagan was puttering around in the kitchen searching in vain for this week's hiding spot for one of those special damn fresh iced oatmeal raisin cookies he had a hankering for tonight. He was positive his son would have stocked up for Kaylin knowing that they were due to take their Sunday meal at Eddie and Jamie's house the following day. Frustrated, he offered a small curse under his breath only to be rewarded by a comment from the peanut gallery of one in the living room.

"You'll never find them, Pop."

"Ah," Henry gruffed with guilt as he resigned to give up on dessert and instead poured a single finger of scotch for himself as a nightcap and made his way back to the living room. "One of these days I'm gonna get a dog and teach it how to sniff 'em out, Francis… and how does that little girl rate over your own father? The one that gave you life, huh?"

"She's cuter than you, I suppose."

"Right," Henry frowned as he took in his son's appearance… Frank was uncharacteristically already changed into his pajamas and robe at this relatively early hour while sitting next to the big hammered copper lamp and reading through a new Teddy Roosevelt biography. "You sick or something?" he pried with an eye to the outfit.

"Nope, just planning on turning in a little early," Frank admitted with a small smile as he flipped to the next page. "Our family will be all together again tomorrow, Pop," he explained with great satisfaction. "I think tonight will be the best night's sleep I've had in weeks."

"Amen to that, Francis," his father echoed in agreement.

Sadly, once they would become aware of the events transpiring just blocks away, neither man would succumb to a fitful night's rest at any point in the near future, and it would take more than a bag of iced oatmeal raisin cookies from Wilder's Bakery to take some of the nightmares away.

###

"So what's bothering you now, Harvard?" Danny questioned as he glanced over at his brother who was currently slumped off to the side in his passenger seat with his head leaning against the window. "I thought we took care of most of your problems for the day… let's see, we've got you drunk, I'm moving out tonight and, well… those two things should solve your last issue if I'm reading you right."

"I've just got a funny feeling, Dan."

"OH, NO! NOT IN MY CAR, DAMMIT!" Danny cried as he desperately looked for the nearest place to pull over, cursing himself for letting the kid have that one last drink.

"No, it's s'nothing like that," Jamie sighed as he closed his eyes. "Well okay, maybe it's a s'little like that," he admitted. "Nah, I'm just kidding," he smirked as the wheel jerked a little once more.

"Will you knock it off! What then?"

"We're cops Danny, all of us. Reagans on top of that. Two police commissioners in the family. We hang out at cop bars like tonight, have cop friends and practically eat, drink and sleep the NYPD."

"So? You just figured that out?"

"What's gonna happen when the press gets hold of this once it's over and labels Kaylin the daughter of a cop-killer?" Jamie asked sadly as he perked up a little. "We thought the headlines were bad before. Can you imagine? Look at what it's done to Eddie over the years… her father's indiscretions followed her everywhere and drove a wedge through their whole family… even Eva as much as I hate to admit, it affects her job… her relationship with me, her daughter… all of us."

"Yeah, but this guy isn't really her father, you are. She's never even met him," Danny added as he had no idea how tragically wrong he was since in that very instant his niece was being terrorized by Quinlan in her own home. "Kaylin's a Reagan now too... as much as any of us and you're a good dad, Jamie. You can handle this and what you can't, the rest of the family will… that's how we work. Eddie didn't have anyone to back her up like that before when all that happened to her, and that's why I think she's trying so hard to bring us back together… it's what she needs too."

"I s'pose. M'm glad you're working things out with Linda, Dan. I want our family to go back to the way it was before."

"Yeah, me too, kid," Danny mused as he pulled the car up to the curb in front of Jamie's house. He had carefully watched for a tail on the way home from the bar and was now scanning the street, still in protective detail mode. "Speaking of which, there's her van. Now why would she leave the door open like that?" he griped as he turned the car off and pulled the key out of the ignition slowly as his hand reached for the door. "Jesus, she left the groceries in there on the front seat… anybody could have taken them. She must have just gotten here and had her hands full taking the roast in."

"I don't feel so good now…" Jamie moaned and held his stomach as the stop-start motion of the car had pushed him over the edge. "M'm going inside," he announced with an urgency to his step. That last drink had indeed finally caught up with him.

"Jamie…" Danny trailed off as those tingly brotherly spidey senses went off again. A look up and down the quiet street showed nothing to be out of the ordinary and a soft warm glow of light emanated from within the house. He shook it off with a moment's hesitation though, determined to be helpful and meet Linda in a considerate husband mode instead of undoing all his recent good work and appearing to be an overprotective cop to spook her. He stepped towards her van to retrieve the groceries while keeping a close eye on his baby brother who appeared to be fumbling with frustration at the newly installed keyless security entry pad by the front door.

 _Poor guy really can't hold his liquor anymore,_ he smirked as he locked and kicked the passenger door closed with his hands now full of shopping bags. Danny sighed in relief as he saw Linda's outline come to the leaded glass window to let Jamie inside and his brother opened the clear storm door to step through the main entry.

What he witnessed next though had Danny dropping those now unimportant groceries on the sidewalk without another thought and reaching for his holstered gun instead as he sprinted towards the house.

A sudden shadowy movement had caught his eye as it flashed near his brother's head a split second after he appeared to freeze while stepping through the threshold and with a muffled banging noise that appeared somewhat out of order Danny's throat closed as he watched in horror while Jamie made an immediate utter boneless descent to the ground to crash into a motionless heap before the front door slammed shut to block the older Reagan brother's view once more.

"OH SHIT!" Danny cursed as he pulled up flat against the front porch wall, leaning down as his heart pounded out of his chest and he implored his panicking mind to focus and come up with a plan.

Despite his own efforts and the fact that the entire NYPD had been hunting him, Quinlan had obviously found them first and had Eddie, Kaylin, his own Linda and now an injured and obviously helpless... or possibly worse... Jamie in there with him.

"No, no, no… please God, no," Danny prayed as he fumbled with his phone to call it in before taking a breath. "Gotta get eyes first," he muttered to himself frantically as his wild expression shot around and knowing the layout of the house he decided to head for the back deck to see if he could get an unfettered look of what was happening in the open floor plan inside through the kitchen window, fearing that a sudden influx of lights and sirens would just cause the unstable man in there to snap and take them all before he could be stopped.

What he saw after stealthily climbing up the dangerous rickety weathered steps of the small, nearly useless patio deck in the back to peer cautiously through the window forced a violent shiver up and down his spine.

Jared Quinlan was there with his back to him, his now bleach-blond hair standing out in stark contrast while he was still clutching Kaylin like a rag doll with one arm wrapped around her, pinning the now mostly limp little girl up high to his chest just under his chin while his gun was now leveled directly at Linda in evident anger… _pointing a gun at_ _his wife!_ … the mother of his two boys and the one love of his life, and the violent killer was now quaking with rage as he yelled something indistinguishable at her. He could just make out the perfectly still, dark form of his brother lying where he had fallen on the floor in the foyer just beyond her. No one was paying him any mind which spoke obvious volumes. Eddie was just a few feet further to the left and the two pale and wide-eyed women were now facing towards the kitchen with their hands raised. Danny's mouth ran dry as he was forced to watch as Linda relived a nearly identical moment from the hospital shooting which had sent them into such an emotional tailspin a year ago. She had failed to step back in an effort to protect her patient that day and had nearly paid the ultimate price upfront although the continued toll of that inaction had almost taken her away from him, anyway.

Given his current state, she had obviously failed to protect or warn Jamie, although perhaps this time she hadn't even tried.

And now standing there outside, Danny was just as helpless as she had been.

At that moment he was short on time with no clear shot and fewer options. A bullet passing through the heavy, thick glass of the old windows would almost certainly tumble out of its tight spiral and change trajectory and therefore was as likely to strike one of his own as it was to find the intended mark and Kaylin was being held so close to the only viable target… too close to even chance.

What he did not realize and what was ultimately harder for him to accept, was the fact that everything had already been decidedly taken out of his hands… that on this day Daniel Reagan would remain a mere spectator on this ride as the chain of events that was about to take place in the very next minute… before he even had the opportunity to rethink his plan and call for help… those events had already been predetermined by the plan of another… one who had no intention of letting that undertaking fail… not now, not after all the time and determination it had taken to get to this point.

Desperate to offer his wife some form of comfort and strength… Danny carefully inched his way into the shaft of light pouring out of the kitchen window so that it illuminated just a small part of his face. She knew he was out there somewhere of course… that he had been to the bar with Jamie and therefore would have driven him home, and maybe that's why she had slammed the front door so hard as an effort to warn him so that he could bring help. Linda immediately caught sight of him and closed her eyes and nodded slightly to connect wordlessly as Eddie ignored everything else and was now entirely focused on Quinlan… deliberately drawing his attention back to her. He waved his hand wildly and brandished the gun directly at her as he was shouting something back while she took a calculated step in his direction to force him subconsciously to counter and keep a distance.

Danny's eyes narrowed as he watched her bravely, or perhaps it was more like foolishly repeat the move as she was definitely on a self-defined mission. Quinlan was now apparently demanding something according to his body language as he shifted Kaylin to a different hold and Eddie was pointing towards the counter behind him near the pantry to something that was out of sight. _What the hell are you up to, Janko?_ Danny muttered as he tried mentally to get a step ahead of her in an effort to be ready if he could offer any assistance. Linda and Jamie were directionally out of the line of fire now, but the toddler was still being used as a shield, although no longer clutched quite as tightly as before as Quinlan's hand had slipped down off her mouth and now held her just around the waist.

His little brother still hadn't moved, but that was unimportant now as no one else was watching him.

Eddie took one more small step forward and this time Danny was able clearly to read her lips as she mouthed a familiar phrase in the second before all hell broke loose and his grip tightened on the trigger.

 _"Please don't hurt my family."_

It was all over in the blink of an eye as another flash sealed their fate. Moments later Frank Reagan's cell phone started ringing with news that would have the police commissioner out of his house in his pajamas, robe and slippers without waiting for his detail and running faster than he had done in years down the few blocks towards his childhood home as Henry hurried after him at a more reasonable speed for his age while the street outside quickly filled with red and blue lights as multiple units and ambulances rolled in response to the 10-13 call.

* * *

 _So what was Eddie's plan and what role did Linda play, can anyone guess? Did it work or was Jared able to win in the end and take back what he considered his no matter the cost? The next chapter will explain the events in detail as they occurred on the inside of the house from the point where Quinlan grabbed Kaylin in order to reveal exactly what happened in that final minute as well as the aftermath as the trauma will produce an unexpected result._

 _And, unfortunately the review bug is back as of yesterday afternoon which is really disappointing. We're in the middle of a run of cliffies though so will keep posting until we at least clear those and hopefully FF will get their act together soon. Can't let you guys hang like that, not when Frank is running down the street in his jammies!_


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

For her part, there had been a few events in recent times in which Edit Katalin Janko had entered full out momma bear mode.

Once it occurred when a woman's abusive boyfriend targeted Jamie after he interceded in a domestic dispute and the man firebombed their RMP in an effort to kill him. That look and comment Russel Price had given after the failed lineup at the 5-4 squad room had seen her go off and ultimately make herself the bound and gagged subject of a kidnapping attempt.

Another had been when the son of one of Danny's friends, a cocky damn rookie in his first week at the 12th, had nearly gotten them both killed in a botched bank robbery when he had come in guns blazing in spite of Jamie's clear orders not to. She had nearly torn him a new one before that day and had to be restrained from going after him again at the precinct.

The most recent had been to a lesser extent when Linda had made her comments at that family dinner a few weeks ago. Jamie had quashed that pretty quickly before she had a chance really to get started above the red line thankfully or the whole Reagan family would have seen her hot-blooded Serbian side on full display.

It would come through tonight with an unexpected ferocity though.

Absolutely nothing… _nothing at all in her life to this point_ had prepared her for the feelings that would be unleashed when she saw the love of her life struck down before her as she watched helplessly while that monster clutched Kaylin in front of him.

 _Her child._

Despite the rush of almost blinding emotion, her vision had tunneled immediately and there was a clarity in her thought that she had never experienced on the job before, not even when Jamie had been in danger as he was so obviously once more… despite that she had only one single focus now though and that was to get her little girl out of that evil man's hands unharmed.

Eddie heard Quinlan scream in fury at Linda after her future sister-in-law moved away from the door… away from where Jamie now lay helpless and unmoving on the floor and while she absorbed the words that were being loudly bantered back and forth between them; they were unimportant to her at that point… unimportant that was until she realized it gave her a key to what she wanted.

Linda was trying to convince the man to retrieve her keys and the money from the purse on the far counter and take what he wanted and leave them alone... that she wanted no part of stopping him… to go on ahead and basically abduct…

 _Her child._

Eddie's eyes widened. He had come for _her_ Kaylin, the little one that had brought so much light and love to everyone in the Reagan family over the course of the past year... determined to steal that precious baby girl away from them permanently after doing the same to Jamie, and now having apparently accomplished that first goal Linda was talking to him like she _understood_ why he had done all of this… having callously taken two... or was that three lives now?... while leaving others like Martin Rodgers irreparably damaged. There was no way for them to know just yet that Garrett's son Sam was to be added to that tally. That would come later and cause Frank Reagan another mix of guilt and grief.

She could not look down at the distraction of the now prone form lying so still on the ground.

At that point in time she began to understand that Linda had her own plan… that the older Reagan woman was counting on the fact that _her_ greatest love was still outside the house at that moment and was surely already aware of the distress they were in… that Linda's faith was completely in Daniel Reagan's hands and his ability to save them; she was desperate to get Quinlan back into the kitchen near the old heavy uncovered glass windows with Grandma Betty's favorite beautiful hand-stained transoms that overlooked the gardens in the backyard so that Danny had a clean shot.

Linda had never been taught in the academy about the physics of bullets and glass and how based on distances that sniper's approach was just as likely to end up deadly for someone else other than Quinlan… like the terrified toddler now in his hands, her mouth and most of her nose covered by his big rough hand to keep her from crying out. Eddie was watching as her baby was gasping for air that would not come fast enough and was being suffocated right in front of her… Kaylin's tearful pleading eyes and her rapidly stilling body the only outward signs of her distress.

She had to act now and her plan was set as Quinlan surprisingly relented to Linda's suggestion and made a small move back towards the purse on the counter near the pantry. Eddie knew his next intended action once he had that in his hand would be to shoot them all and she purposefully took an aggressive step towards him to draw his attention directly. She needed him to focus only on her at that point so what happened next would be a total surprise; she just prayed that the needed distraction would be provided like clockwork by the grace of God...

...and one particular already day-long royally pissed off cat.

Quinlan _should_ have known not to come between a momma bear and her cub, anyone with even half a brain was usually still capable of realizing how dangerous that was, but what he couldn't have predicted was that he had just infringed on a predetermined and fiercely guarded food-bowl-to-stranger proximity zone while also setting himself directly between another Bear and his all-time favorite tuna-providing toddler, and when he shifted his grip and took his hand off Kaylin's mouth as he seethed at Eddie's continued approach, the little one took in a deep breath at last and let out a cry that further incensed them both.

Eddie's calculated words of "Please don't hurt my family," were barely away from her lips before Kaylin did on absolute reflex as she had been thoroughly and painstakingly taught by both her father and grandpa… she almost instantly went completely limp at the waist and Quinlan's shocked light blue eyes and upper torso provided the perfect target for an enraged large ball of black fur that launched itself from the pantry and flashed past as it bounded heavily off his face, landing a painful swipe across the nose with an outstretched paw before bouncing off the countertop and alighting on the top of the refrigerator; a clash with enough force to send that man reeling back against the counter, his gun likewise flying out of his hand as he instinctively tried to shield himself from the sudden feline onslaught while still stubbornly clinging to the little girl one-handed… that was until of course the other present momma bear implemented stage two of her plan with a vicious strike of her own as she shinned him in a place the sun doesn't shine with all the available force her adrenaline-fed five-foot-two frame could muster causing an instant primal howl of agony as he released Kaylin into Eddie's outstretched arms and dropped to the floor almost as quickly as Jamie had.

Two for two. Who knew that the Krav Maga people could be so on point with their advice?

For his part, the cat was now content to regard them all from above with shimmering green eyes, a smudge of white offset on one side of his nose and a fiercely twitching tail.

Eddie had not been the only one to spring into action at that point as the split-second Quinlan's gun had slipped from his hand Linda herself had jumped forward and now had fully turned the tables on their former captor as it was steadily leveled back at his head and she was fiercely prepared to use it if necessary, her attention only broken by the frantic pounding of Daniel Reagan on the back patio door as he had seen enough and was demanding entry. Linda never took her eyes or gun off of Quinlan as she backed over and unlatched the lock so that her husband could rush in and wrap his arms around her in relief, his lips instantly pressed to the side of her head as he gave thanks as she cried out his name.

Two women, a toddler and a cat had done what the entire NYPD had been unable to thus far… take down this psychotic cop-killer with only a small amount of blood spilled from the nasty slice across Quinlan's nose, and that was really only Bear's fault.

It was over... to a point.

Suddenly a house that had been rendered almost silent with the shock of Quinlan's arrival now erupted into a cacophony of noise between his deep shrieks of pain, the vast array of colorful four-letter words being put forth by an unrepentant Uncle Danny as he kneeled over him and wrenched his arms back mercilessly to cuff them tightly behind his back, and the tiny terrified toddler that had now found her full voice as she was being rocked in Eddie's arms from the floor where she dropped to her knees to comfort the child and hide her face from any further sight of the bad man who had frightened her so. It was as much the words as the evident quaking fear in the little one's cries as pure panic had her dropping that careful guard for a particular name and reduced Eddie to an emotional puddle now.

"MOMMY!... _MOMMY!..._ P'EASE! P'ease!... I scared!... MAKE HIM GO 'WAY! I no like him!" Kaylin was screeching at the top of her lungs in gasping squeaks and spurts.

A beautiful name she had waited for so long to hear was first uttered under terrible circumstances, but no matter… it came when Kaylin was finally able and ready to say it.

"Shhh, shhh, baby... I know," Eddie soothed as she held the child as close as possible and peppered her with reassuring hugs and kisses. "It's all over sweetie… you were so very brave… such a good girl… shhh… I love you so much, baby… you're safe now, I promise," she added as she pushed herself to her feet to rush away into the living room and distance themselves from Quinlan as her eyes lit on the other issue that was now her immediate concern.

The only one that was still silent among them was Jamison Reagan, who for his part had not so much as twitched yet as he lay in a continued limp heap near the front door.

"JAMIE! JAMIE! Please wake up now!" Eddie begged as she slid to the floor next to him, still clutching their hysterically sobbing and now hiccuping daughter. She gently shook his shoulder but there was no response initially as his head just lolled softly to the side, deep bruising and a trail of blood already evident from where he had been struck near the temple. Her renewed distress caught the attention of Danny who had just staggered back to his own feet and pulled out his phone to call for backup now that he had assured himself Quinlan's threat had been completely neutralized, and truthfully it didn't look like the man would be getting up under his own power anytime soon.

"Oh, cripes, Jamie!" he gasped he tried to keep up with the pace of the situation, not knowing what had transpired to take his brother down in that manner in the first place… how could this have all started just a few minutes ago? All he could assume was that Quinlan had fired somehow… that muffled bang that had appeared somewhat out of sequence, there was no other explanation. "Where's he hit?" he demanded as he tripped over the prisoner in a rush to Jamie's side while putting his phone up to his ear and cursing from the pain in his still broken wrist. "This is Detective Daniel Reagan, badge number 8694… I've got a 10-13 at 801 Driftwood in Bay Ridge, SHOTS FIRED, OFFICER DOWN! REPEAT! OFFICER DOWN! Suspect under… roll units and two busses forthwith!" he bellowed into the phone in a resumed panic now. The last five minutes had certainly been a complete terrifying rollercoaster, and he was back to a gut wrenching drop as he felt his stomach twist at the sight of the kid lying there so still, and oh God! there was no blood anywhere else except for an eerily familiar continued bright red trickle from the side of the Jamie's _head_ as an intense feeling of déjà vu hit when a vision of a little boy who had just fallen down the steps swept over him _..._

"Danny! Danny! Please help him! He's not moving!" Eddie cried through her tears as she continued to cradle Kaylin and pulled on his arm while the older brother dropped to her side. "But it's not that… it wasn't! QUINLAN DIDN'T SHOOT HIM!" she choked out.

"WHAT?!" his frightened eyes met hers before flipping back almost instantly to that same bloody mark off to the side of Jamie's right eye… what else could have caused him to collapse like that and stay down for so long, if not a bullet then… well, it had to be... Eddie was wrong… Quinlan had to have fired, or WHO ELSE WOULD HAVE? And what the hell was that _thing_ lying there on the floor next to him?

"I did it," Linda revealed softly with great hesitation as she walked up behind them, Quinlan's gun now lowered but still in her grasp. "He said he would kill everyone after he took care of Jamie. I was afraid of what that man would do to us if he didn't get what he wanted. It's my fault. Here, you better take this," she added as she handed her husband the weapon.

* * *

 _Whoa! Did we just hear that right? Did Linda just confess to hurting Jamie because she was in fear for her own life? Did the stress from that shooting at the hospital the previous year revisit to haunt them all once more? Maybe we have gone down the rabbit hole... just like where the reviews end up. (kidding) They got fixed again! What did Linda do? I'm sure some of you can guess, but why? Next chapter will clean up the loose ends here at this scene as our favorite two commissioners arrive to take charge of things while Quinlan still has a nasty surprise to offer on his way out._


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

" _Danny! Danny! Please help him! He's not moving!" Eddie cried through her tears as she continued to cradle Kaylin and pulled on his arm while the older brother dropped to her side. "But he never fired! QUINLAN DIDN'T SHOOT HIM!" she choked out._

" _WHAT?!" his frightened eyes met hers before flipping back almost instantly to that bloody mark on the side of Jamie's head… what else could have caused him to collapse like that and stay down for so long, if not a bullet then… well, it had to be... Eddie was wrong… Quinlan had to have fired, or WHO ELSE WOULD HAVE? And what the hell was that thing lying there on the floor next to him?_

 _"I did it," Linda revealed softly with great hesitation as she walked up behind them, Quinlan's gun now lowered but still in her grasp. "He said he would kill everyone after he took care of Jamie. I was afraid of what that man would do to us if he didn't get what he wanted. It's my fault. Here, you better take this," she added as she handed her husband the weapon._

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Danny demanded of her with a completely gutted puzzled look as they had apparently now entered some kind of twilight zone where everything was backwards and nothing was making a bit of sense. If he didn't know any better he would have sworn it sounded like his own wife was confessing to the attempted murder of his baby brother.

"I hit him with that frying pan," she explained as she pointed to the cast-iron skillet lying on the floor before the nurse in her took over and she pushed her husband to the side. "Please move... You watch him, I need to help Jamie..." she ordered as she nodded back towards Quinlan who continued to moan in agony on the kitchen floor behind them.

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Danny repeated for what he felt like was the hundredth time as he looked between the two woman, but had yet to make one iota of sense out of this situation. "WHY?" he added in a desperate effort to get more information during this round. Danny shot one more confused look at the injured perp and determined he was still fine where he was… but what he needed to know right goddamn _now_ was what was wrong with his brother and apparently now his _wife_...

"He forced me to go over to let Jamie in, Danny! He saw him on the security monitor and said he would shoot Kaylin first and then Eddie if I didn't!" Linda explained as she gently straightened out her brother-in-law's neck and was thankful to find a strong steady pulse. "It's good," she offered as they all sighed in relief. "He's breathing okay too. I think he'll come around soon. C'mon, Jamie... please, honey, let's see those big hazel eyes open up now," she begged as she tapped his cheeks and pulled up his eyelids to judge his pupil reactions, swelling already evident to the side of the right one. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hit him quite that hard…"

"The door was unlocked but Jamie was fumbling around with the keypad… I think he was waiting for it to beep and let him in for some reason," Eddie added as her hands likewise continued gently to caress her intended's face, imploring him to wake up as Kaylin's sobs began to subside as the little girl was more content to lay her head down on her shoulder and whimper right now.

"He was drunk…" Danny offered hoping for another piece to join the puzzle together as he still wasn't quite seeing it. "After everything he really needed it tonight…"

"Quinlan promised that he was going to shoot him and the rest of us as soon as he came in the door and saw his eyes, Danny!" Linda explained finally. "I knew he meant it and I couldn't let him, but I didn't know what else to do! My brain just blanked! The pan was sitting right there by the door in a box… and all I could think of was to shut them myself before he got the chance!"

There was an incredulous pause as that nifty little tidbit about a preemptive strike was processed. "Christ, Linda… he could have shot _you_ for doing that!" Danny griped finally as he shook his head in disbelief… and here he had been worried that she had snapped under the pressure of the moment when instead she had risked her own life to save his brother. "That's why he was screaming at you and pointing his gun? I thought… I thought… I didn't know what to think! And I couldn't get in here to help you!" he sighed with his own tears as the weight of the situation was coming down on his heart.

"She was so brave," Eddie assured between her own uneven breaths as she sought to add facts. "She worked him like an EDP… trying to relate to him. Told him that she wasn't gonna die for Jamie... that all this was his fault anyway and he ruined her marriage and she wanted to do that to him for a while… I think it shocked Quinlan and threw him off balance because he didn't know what to make of her after that and he hesitated and decided to go for the money before he shot us."

"I'm told him I was a nurse, and to trust me that Jamie was dead because I knew where to hit him. That he wouldn't get the blame for it and should take what he wanted from my purse and leave me alone. I wanted to get him to the window so you could shoot him!"

"And he bought that crazy act?" Danny asked in amazement as he cursed the man once more for his luck because it was evident now that he didn't exactly have any spare brain cells to rub together. "Honey, I couldn't have done it, not standing so close and through those old windows with him holding the baby…"

"I realized that," Eddie stated as she took over, a look of continued worry cast down once more since there still had been no obvious response to their revival efforts. "I couldn't think of what to do either… my gun was in the lockbox, I was too far away from the alarm to hit the panic button, but when Linda got him started moving towards the pantry, then I knew if I pushed him back just a little further and kept his attention on me…"

"That the damn cat would get him! God!" Danny paused in disbelief that their plan had actually worked as he glanced down at Jamie once more. "You didn't really kill him... did you, Lin?" he worried anxiously as there was still no outward sign of life from his brother.

"No! He's gotta wake up soon! He has to!" Linda pleaded as her own blue eyes flashed with concern. "I hit him just where the instructor from the classes we took told me to… they showed us five places to use if you needed to knock someone out instantly… I guess I just reacted with that!"

"Yeah, but they probably weren't worried about that someone ever getting back up!" he muttered. "Crap, I need to warn Dad," he added as fingered his phone once more while the first sirens could be heard in the distance. "He's gonna have a heart attack himself when he hears about that 10-13 call going out from here!"

Soon after that another small groan was finally offered just as Danny managed to touch base with Frank who was already only seconds away himself, but this one proved to be music to their ears. Jamie finally gave up a heavy sigh and tight grimacing swallow before his eyelids fluttered momentarily and a beautiful but obviously confused set of hazel eyes were partially revealed. Eddie felt him tense immediately as his consciousness came back and assumed his first thoughts would be for Kaylin as he had last seen his beloved daughter in that madman's grasp before the lights went out rather violently. She had been just as flabbergasted as Quinlan when Linda had reflexively struck him down like that.

"She's okay," Eddie assured as she tried to pull the little girl into his line of sight but was only partially successful as Kaylin was still clinging to her neck tightly with no intention of letting go or looking around to see her daddy just yet. "We all are... Quinlan's cuffed; we got him. Jamie, it's all over…"

"Don't move, kid," Danny advised as he held him down protectively by the shoulder. "The bus is just pulling up… you were out cold for more than five minutes and you've got a helluva bump on the side of your head…"

"Jamie, I'm so sorry!" Linda cried as she grabbed his hand while thanking God he had finally woken up. "Please forgive me for that! I didn't want to hurt you!"

With the next few sentences though it became apparent that while the lights were on now, no one was quite home yet in Jamison Reagan's house.

"Wha… wha happ'n, Dan?" Jamie mumbled with a more pronounced slur now as he stared back with recognition only towards his brother. "Why're we at Grandma's house? Did I... 'mm fall down steps 'gain? Is Pop Pop coming to get me? S'okay 'cause I like the siren and that ice cream..."

"Oh, Jesus, NO!… ah, I mean yes, well… Jamie you did hit your head!" Danny offered as he looked up at his wife with marked concern once more not knowing how to explain this. "You don't remember?..." he blurted out. "Linda? What the hell should we do? I think he's gone back to when he went down the stairs here the first time… he was like five!"

"He's definitely concussed… maybe worse..." she murmured guiltily with a pained expression. "I don't know! I can't tell how bad it is! We need to get him to the hospital in case he's got a skull fracture or subdural. Danny, get the door and let the EMTs in!" she ordered as he immediately turned around and complied, only to be met with multiple armed uniformed officers with weapons raised fanning into the room in response to the 10-13.

"STAND DOWN! He's already under! Cripes! I called it in to Central, didn't you numbskulls hear that part? What... are you all _rookies?!_ NOW GET HIM OUTTA HERE!" Danny snarled as he flashed his badge in his typical fashion while pointing at a now more softly moaning but still prone Jared Quinlan in the kitchen. "That's the cop-killer we've been hunting for, and where are the freaking medics?! We've got an off-duty sergeant down with a serious head injury! GET THEM IN HERE NOW!" he added with great agitation as he knelt back down, but it was the sudden arrival of one very huffy but unmistakable Police Commissioner in his robe and slippers whose presence finally elicited a new response from Quinlan as he was being dragged past them with little mercy for his condition by two of the other officers.

"Police brutality! This is all a setup! The Reagans are trying to frame me!" he stormed once more, although his voice was noticeably tighter and strained. "That bitch tried to off him and pin it on me! She said she wanted him dead! She's the killer!" he declared as he fought and kicked out at Linda on the way past. "She hit him with the goddamn pan! I didn't touch anyone! That's my kid they have! They're doing this so they can take her from me and get away with it!"

"SON OF A BITCH!" Danny swore as he stood back up and had to be restrained by his father as Quinlan was finally hauled out the door. " _What did you just call my wife?!"_

"Danny, slow down, now what's happened?!" Frank barked as he looked around at the carnage and attempted to assess the situation and take charge of the chaotic scene. Two originally down including his youngest with thankfully what appeared to be minimal blood loss, an obviously traumatized toddler, Linda and Eddie kneeling here in the foyer in tears next to his barely conscious son and any number of wide-eyed patrolmen staring back at their penultimate boss uncomfortably as he stood there clad in his plaid pajamas while being accused of orchestrating a cop-killing spree in order to kidnap a child.

In short, it was an unholy mess and to add to it, Henry Reagan had just shown up and was vehemently protesting and pushing his way through the police line outside.

"Quinlan broke in and held Kaylin and the girls hostage. Eddie took him out, non-lethal," Danny summarized as succinctly as possible as he paced around a few steps and put his hand on the back of his neck. "And Linda took Jamie down with a frying pan. It's a long story, Pop! I don't even know what the hell happened yet, and I was here for most of it! Damn kid's had his brains scrambled by my own wife! I'll call Baez to come take over. Can we just get him some help first and worry about the stupid details and paperwork later for once?"

"No, Danny, this one has to be by the books," Frank worried as he nervously chewed his lip, his mind already racing forward with where Quinlan's accusations could potentially take them… they were unfounded of course, but things like that hardly ever stopped the press. "We'll have to get IAB down here immediately," he revealed before pushing that aside for a moment and turning his attention back to his obviously injured boy and the two now distraught women hovering over him, not to mention Kaylin who had renewed her loud wailing with the appearance of more scary strangers in the house.

"Jamie!" Eddie cried as she herself paid no mind to the sudden the influx of outside bodies and prepared to spiral down again as Frank quickly fell into place on his knees next to her. The emotions that were running through this night were unreal. "Baby, don't you remember where you are? This is our house now!"

"Ed," he finally responded appropriately after a few more false starts for which they all felt immediate relief as at least it was a step into the right era. "Y'ur all kinda fuzzy and m'm head hurts," he complained as he brought his hand up to the side of his face. "I wanna go home… I don't feel so good," he continued as he was still oblivious to the fact that he was currently laying on his very own reclaimed floor. "Eddie, why is sw'tness cry'in?!" he began to panic as the sound of Kaylin's continued duress now forced those missing wits to sort themselves out at warp speed and the present-day situation hit him like a brick, including the reason for his daughter's tears and it took four pairs of hands to hold him down after that point. "GOD, DID HE HURT HER?!"

"No!... Jamie, she's fine now… she's just scared… please, you have to stay still and calm down! You'll hurt yourself and you're just upsetting her more!" Any further explanation was cut short by the arrival of the aforementioned EMTs who quickly took charge of a now more than slightly combative patient who had no intention of submitting to their ministrations, but between the two of them and some help from an obstinate older brother and a hands on six-foot-four father, they had him trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey and encased in a cervical collar securely buckled in and taped down to a backboard in just a matter of minutes on the Commissioner's strict orders.

"C'mon, I'm alright now! I just had my bell rung a little! Now let me _up!"_ Jamie insisted while they transferred him against his will via the board to the gurney waiting just through the doorway on the porch as he was now firmly back in the present. "I've gotta be here and make sure they're okay! Eddie! I wanna see Kaylin!" he called frantically as he was unable to turn his head or budge anything greater than a pinky and he was forced to stare straight up at the now moving ceiling that was reflecting blue and red lights in a nauseating fashion while they were heading across the porch and to the waiting ambulance. "Ed, I _need_ you, please!"

"Harvard, they're fine," Danny assured for the tenth time as he was helping to get the stretcher down the front steps, wondering if it was indeed the head injury that had his brother's record skipping, or just sheer stress. "I told you before, Eddie has Kaylin, alright?… You already saw that. She's calmed down but won't let go of her just yet. Quinlan is already gone. You're the only one that needs a bus, okay? Just relax."

"No, I'm not leaving! They can't take me if I refuse treatment! I know my rights!" came the lawyer card as Jamison Reagan was fully back in the building and ready to use anything to stay at this point.

EMT Billy Richter, a ten-year veteran, gave a heavy sigh as he pulled up their movement towards the ambulance once more. This uncooperative Reagan guy was gonna cost him an extra hour of paperwork tonight if this kept up, still he was forced to concede his point. "He does have the right to refuse treatment if he's competent," he acknowledged to Danny and now his father who had hurried outside to see what the holdup was.

"Load him up and take him in…" Frank demanded. "I didn't hear anything."

"Dad, that's so not fair!" came the expected protest as the little procession started up again. "I won't go until they can come! Kaylin needs me!"

"Wait! Let me try again… we're right here, Jamie," Eddie assured as she ran down the steps to grab his hand while still carrying the little girl causing the EMTs to halt abruptly once more. "Jamie, we're handling it. I promise we're both okay, but they're making me stay and give a statement first now that IAB's gotta be involved because of what Quinlan's accusing Linda of, and you need to go to the hospital and get checked out right away… you made me stay overnight when I was hurt, remember? Kaylin and I will be down there just as soon as we can, I promise, okay? You can't take care of her while they're doing the tests. She can't come with you."

"Let me up! I'm gonna be sick!" Jamie tried a different tactic, hoping to be released, but instead he just found his head spinning again as the backboard was flipped over unceremoniously to the side by a pair of unimpressed medics who were onto their reluctant patient. Damn it.

"Ma'am he was reported to be unconscious for over five minutes… doc wants him in there for a CT pronto," Richter advised. "He was altered, lost time… combative… all signs of a serious head injury. We gotta go or my ass is gonna be on the line... sorry for the language," he apologized when Eddie glared at him and shifted the little girl from her shoulder.

"No, please wait!..."

Finally, the only voice that Jamie was willing to listen to at that point piped up as she turned around and put a little hand on his cheek. "Daddy, Mommy says you have a boo-boo 'gain and have to go to 'opital," Kaylin squeaked. "She says so! You gonna make it all better?"

Instantly soothed and mollified by her word choice, Jamie finally relented and relaxed. "Yes, baby… Daddy will be all better, and Mommy says so, huh? You're really okay too?"

"Yup," Kaylin nodded with only a small sniffle remaining. "Love you," she added as she leaned forward and kissed him on the nose.

"I love you too, Kaylin Elizabeth," he sighed as he closed his eyes and smiled as Eddie planted a big wet kiss of her own on his forehead. "I guess I better listen to Mommy, then. We should always do that, right? I'll see you both soon, okay sweetness?"

"Jamison, that's enough!" Henry bellowed as he stepped through the doorway, unaware that the concession had already been offered, and made his way down to them having been charged by Frank with getting his grandson to comply with medical orders since he was the only Reagan available who was unattached to the scene and appropriately dressed to accompany him to the hospital at this point. "Get him in that bus, now!" he ordered and was pleased to see everyone immediately take heed. Maybe he hadn't lost his touch after all.

"Okay, okay Pop... I give up," Jamie sighed in defeat as they began moving again. "I'm outnumbered anyway."

"Well, there… now, that's more like it!" Henry huffed. "Don't know what all the fuss was about before, you know your family will take care of everything for you. C'mon son, lights and sirens and I promise to get you some chocolate ice cream afterwards," he added with a smile as Jamie was rolled into the back and the older man was helped up to take a seat on the bench next to him. A couple of more small questions were asked though as the doors slammed shut and Danny Reagan offered two bangs on the back to send them on their way.

"With sprinkles? But what about Sunday dinner?"

* * *

 _Ruh-roh again. Looks like our Harvard boy got his eggs scrambled a little there, but he's trying to make a comeback. Will he get home in time for dinner and how will those words between Linda and Quinlan play out in Kaylin's future? Next though there's time for a different sort of healing as Danny Reagan does indeed go home._

 _Extra-long chapter tomorrow covers Danny and Linda's reconciliation and that much anticipated Sunday dinner at Grandma's house. Consider it another **BONUS** day!_


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47

Linda Reagan had been a cop's wife for more years than she cared to admit, and as such was intimately accustomed to countless nights like this one where she had lain in bed alone in the wee hours of the morning while waiting anxiously for her husband's return. This was different though… tonight she was completely isolated in the house as the boys were sleeping over at a friend's and she wasn't worried about Danny being on the street and what might happen to him out there… no, what was keeping her up nervously right now was the fact that he _was_ on his way home to their house in Staten Island at that very moment. After hours of interviews by Detective John Weir of Internal Affairs, she had finally been allowed to leave along with Danny and Eddie, both of whom had headed directly to the hospital along with Frank to check in on Jamie while she elected to come here despite her father-in-law's offer to stay overnight in Bay Ridge. After the events of the past few weeks that just didn't feel right yet… neither did facing her injured brother-in-law, especially after the things she had said that evening which were now transcribed in official NYPD reports and would no doubt come up in Jamie's own interview… something that might have to wait of course until he recovered from the Grade 3 concussion she had purposefully inflicted on him. Thankfully, Henry had kept them all apprised as the various scans had come back negative and it appeared that the younger Reagan brother had escaped serious injury once more, although he would be held an appropriate time for observation because of his symptoms.

She did not begrudge Danny the trip to the hospital first since she knew he would not be settled until he saw Jamie again with his own eyes and had promised to only stay for a few minutes after dropping Eddie and a sleeping Kaylin off before coming...

...home.

She let out another heavy sigh as she waited.

And suddenly there it was, the sound of the key in the lock and the familiar heavy step coming through the door with a mild curse of relief and a breath of his own at being able to set his things down in their living room after being away for so long. She heard the closet bang and the jingle of the lockbox keys as he opened it and stored his gun… the threat against them finally gone away… to a point. Detective Weir had been cold and strictly professional in his interrogation, but Linda had a gnawing fear in the pit of her stomach that maybe there would be more to this than just a procedural review, however those thoughts were now broken as she heard her Danny coming up the steps.

"It's me," he offered quietly as if it could have been anyone else, but she played along anyway in an effort to keep things familiar.

"I'm glad," she followed as he kicked off his shoes before climbing right onto the bed fully clothed and snuggling up to her as if he couldn't bear staying away one more second. "How's Jamie?" she asked immediately.

"Oh, he was sleeping when we got there… I think they gave him something for the headache. Dad wasn't going to stay long either and they brought a cot in for Eddie and Kaylin to sleep on so they're both right there for him. Pop said he's been doing alright… they wake him up every so often to check and make sure. He's had a few dizzy spells and some nausea, but other than that he's okay. Making noise about going home tomorrow… or today, rather I guess," he corrected as he put his head down on the pillow and rolled over to his back while continuing to hold her hand. "He's determined we're gonna have that dinner as a family come hell or high water… stubborn idiot. I don't think they'll let him, but it sure beats the alternative though," he added sadly as he gave her another squeeze, that funny blue aircast on his wrist reminding her of the lengths he had gone to lately to make things work between them. "Thank you for saving my brother and his family tonight."

"Oh, Danny…" she sobbed as the valve opened up… the one that had been stuck for a while just like Jamie's. "I was never so happy to see someone come through the door as you when it was all over… that's all I could think about! I knew you would save us!"

"I didn't save you, Lin," Danny whispered as he got back up on his elbow and looked over at her. "I wanted to… I would have done anything for you but I couldn't get in there… you and Eddie did it together."

"And Bear," she smirked sadly, knowing his hatred of that cat.

"Don't remind me. I'm never gonna live it down when that gets around the precinct. I'll be finding tuna cans and catnip on my desk for months."

"Did I really mess things up?" she worried while reaching over and gently tracing his cheekbone. "With the family… and everything else? After all I did and said to your brother lately… Erin wasn't speaking to me before and now with what happened tonight and the threats about Kaylin... I don't know how to face them all again, Danny… Jamie and Eddie will never forgive me if I've given this guy any chance of…"

"Stop," he ordered. "That piece of crap is not getting out or anywhere near our family again, especially Kaylin. Skells like that will do and say anything on their way down. We have him dead to rights on the Carson and Rodgers shooting… the rookie can ID him. His DNA links him to the jogger and Dad is even having Baez check to see if we can pin him for Garrett's son… he matches the description of the guy he was seen arguing with. Quinlan will never see the light of day ever again, Linda. Dad had to put us through the whole IAB thing tonight because it had to be done and yes, what you said is part of an official record now, but all Jamie will remember is that you helped save his life and keep Eddie and the baby safe… that's all he cares about… that's all anyone will care about, except me," he added as he reached over and forced her to look him directly in the eye. "All I care about is you and the boys and being a better dad and husband than I was over the past year. You are my whole life, Linda. I never want to be away from you again."

There was a long pause as they both gathered their thoughts before he started again. "Listen, Lin… about what happened tonight… if you need to talk about it with someone again, I'll understand and I'll go too. I promise. Watching you in there… God I was scared. I know how you must see things now when I go off half cocked on things… that helpless feeling. I'm sorry I didn't really get that before and I promise to think when I do stuff from here on out. I love you Linda Reagan… with all my heart, and you know we still make a pretty good team," he added hopefully.

"Yeah we do," she sighed with a heavy accent. "I love you more, Danny Reagan. These last weeks… not having you here felt like I was missing half of myself and I want to fix things with the family… I need them back too. Eddie helped show me that I can fight back and not feel helpless. For whatever reason I don't feel scared anymore… maybe because this time things turned out for the good. I know that no matter what happens we can be happy for what we have, so I think we can hold off on that shrink talk for now… seems like Reagan-style works better for us, anyway."

"Well, then we should give credit where it's due," Danny smiled as he rolled over and slid a hand behind her neck to pull her forward and draw her in for a kiss. "Better make that the Janko way… Eddie and her scrapbook idea," he revealed as he worked a row of soft touches down her neck as the past few weeks of self imposed exile gave way to a desperate need for intimacy.

"What scrapbook? What are you talking about? Huh?" she questioned as her pulse quickened and she reciprocated with a deepening kiss of her own, then laughed as he purposefully hit one of her ticklish spots. "You know I love those."

"Mmm, well then maybe you'll see it someday soon," he advised as he pulled himself on top of her and slipped his hands underneath her soft camisole. "I have some pages to fill in yet," he murmured as he pushed it up and began to caress bare skin.

"Oh, God... Daniel… I've missed this… but pages for what?"

"Hmm, like what we did on the third date… _after_ we finished dinner," he smiled cheekily as he began rapidly to unbutton his shirt and soon the belt and pants that went with it. "Remember that?"

"Yeah, that was the night when I figured out I wasn't dating Mary Margaret Reagan's _good_ Catholic boy," she revealed as all this talk about the past had her heart rushing as fast as it had been that first time. "If Pop had known what we did in the backseat of that car parked in the garage when you said you were walking me down the street for ice cream… or if Betty had found us… You gonna put that in a book? You want the boys to see? 'Cause we were only a few years older than Jack is now."

"Hey, we only went to second base that night, but well... maybe I'll leave that page blank so we can use our imagination… besides there's a black sheep in every Irish family and you married him. If you wanted the goody-two-shoes you should have waited for Harvard… why do you think he was kicking me out of the house tonight?" he grinned. "He's shy… I've been cramping his style."

"Well, you're definitely not shy and we're already at second base," Linda observed with a soft smile as he began to pull her shirt all the way up but she teased him by trying to holding it down instead. "We stoppin' here so we can recreate that night the right way for the book?"

"Not a chance babe. I'm stealing third and sliding into home base tonight."

###

"If it's alright with everyone, and with respect to Jamie and Eddie who have worked so hard to give us all the opportunity to come together in this beautiful home once more, I would like to offer a short prayer before the meal today," Frank began uncharacteristically once more as he sat to the right of his youngest son while the entire Reagan family gathered at the old family home for the first time in many years.

"Oh, no… _not again,_ Francis," Henry sighed from his reclaimed traditional seat of honor at the far end of his beloved wife Betty's table. "Remember what you stirred up with this the last time."

"I'll say it twice if I have to, Pop," Frank frowned as he turned his head and pursed his lips. "Thank you Father for your continued presence in our lives and for bringing us all together once more. I'm not ashamed to admit I'm grateful given the circumstances these past weeks... and especially last night... that everyone is here at this table today for our meal. Nicki... please continue with grace," he requested while he smiled across the table at his youngest grandchild as Kaylin was firmly seated on Eddie's lap… still clingy and unsettled from her rough treatment of the night before.

"Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen," his older granddaughter finished as requested and the rest of the family began to pass the food around although the room remained relatively quiet.

"I'm thankful everyone is here again too," Jack added and broke the silence with a small sideways grin at Linda and Danny sitting to the right of him. Danny's two boys had been sporting wide smiles since the time they arrived with both parents before the meal. Sean, however, was starting to look increasingly pensive as he stole glances towards his uncle now seated at the head of the table. Finally he could contain himself no longer even though it was one of his questions that had landed them in such a mess the last time.

"How's the other guy look?"

To a person, every Reagan at the table including Eddie pursed their lips and sheepishly glanced up between Jamie and Linda except for the boys who had been at a sleepover the previous night and had not been told anything about what had transpired there the evening before.

"Ahem, actually it was the other girl, Sean," Jamie answered cryptically at first from a face now adorned with a heavy technicolor array of bruising covering the whole of one closed eye and the entire side of his head. His gaze was down on his empty plate while his still-queasy stomach implored him not to put any food on it, however he continued to sit there stubbornly… pig-headedly as it were if one had listened to Eddie or Danny. Erin had been nearly beside herself when she saw the evident damage after being informed of the events of the night before. Jamison Reagan had checked himself out of the hospital against medical advice that morning determined he would not miss this dinner, and damn it… he was present… though maybe not ready for the actual food part of it.

"It was a girl?" Jack asked in amazement as the rest of the table strained not to smile.

"Yep, and she's even cooler than me," Jamie admitted with the best sideways smirk he could manage as he glanced in Linda's direction. "Saved my life and everything."

"I don't understand," Sean puzzled. "Why is everyone looking at Mom?"

With that a series of guffaws, cackles and giggles erupted from around the oval. "It was your mother that did that," Danny admitted as he wrapped his arm around the back of Linda's chair and gave them all a cheeky grin.

"She did? _Why?"_

"Mm-hmm," their father continued. "Take note boys… don't ever mess with a Reagan woman when she's protecting her family."

"Or a Reagan-to-be," Nicki piped in as she smiled at Eddie.

"Or a tiny-but-mighty Reagan," Frank nodded at Kaylin as her grandpa was both proud and relieved that she had remembered a very important life-saving family lesson in the instant it counted most.

"Or their cat," Henry added in deference to Bear's brave actions in saving his favorite toddler which had certainly earned him a lifetime supply of the very best tuna he could ever want for.

"Or a Reagan-to-be, a tiny-but-mighty Reagan or their cat," Danny clarified with a small sigh at the mention of his feline arch nemesis who now apparently rated as an equal-opportunity family member. "It's all in the name, you know."

Frank felt compelled to explain a little further as Sean and Jack were looking thoroughly confused by that point. "Boys last night, that bad man that had been threatening Jamie and Kaylin came here, but he was no match for your mother and Eddie…"

"Or apparently the cat," Erin offered with a sniff as she shook her head and smoothed out the napkin on her lap. So far out of everyone she had been the slowest to warm up to Linda's return given the current state of her little brother's face and what had transpired between Danny and his wife in the weeks before, but she had resigned herself to try as Nicki read the tone of her mother's voice and quickly kicked her leg under the table. It was just going to take a little time for her to put those transgressions against her brothers behind her.

"Or the cat," Frank nodded with a sigh, tilted head and raised eyebrows as he did whenever one of his children offered a comment of that sort in the middle of one of their discussions. "Your mother and Eddie..." he started again before being interrupted once more.

"Hell of a thing, isn't it? Two unarmed women…" Henry added as he swirled the wine around in his glass before taking another sip.

"Yes, Pop… unarmed, but for the love of all that's holy don't call them defenseless… and language, _please._ Would you like to continue?" Frank huffed now with a bit of frustration in his voice at the constant interruptions to his intended insightful parable.

"After you, Francis," Henry bowed until at that point even his concussed grandson could not stand the friendly banter anymore and resolved to take the explanation into his own hands before anyone else could interrupt.

"Two unarmed women, a cat and your baby cousin were very brave and used quick thinking and a few defensive skills to save all our lives and disarm that man without any serious injuries to anyone involved," Jamie remarked with a pointed look at his sister before turning back to the boys. "Something the entire NYPD had been unable to do to that point. For that I would like to thank them and everyone else here," he offered as he raised his water glass to toast the pair as teetotaler once more due to the meds he had been given and the fact he was unsure at that point if the totality of his headache came from the wack of the frying pan or the hangover he'd expected to have today anyway… nonetheless he continued. "They're my heroes, I love them and thank God for our whole family," he offered sincerely. "We would have never made it through this without all of you, each and every one… and Eddie, Kaylin and I will always welcome you here in our home."

"Here, here," came the unanimous reply.

"I bet if you ask Quinlan, he'd take issues with that 'no serious injuries' bit," Danny snickered as he picked some green beans off his plate. "Last I heard his voice will match those light blue eyes of his for some time to come courtesy of Officer Janko here, and it doesn't look like he'll be able to father any more, well you know," he said with an eye to his youngest niece. No one was happy to know that Quinlan was still connected to them, however remotely, even if he was sure to be facing multiple life sentences without possibility of parole.

"Couldn't happen to a nicer fella," Henry grumped as Eddie smiled back at him knowingly. Back in his day that son of a bitch would have disappeared down a dark hole already never to be seen again, especially since he offered a continued threat to Pop Pop's little sweetie-pie.

That in and of itself was grounds for a death sentence as far as Henry Reagan was concerned.

"Yes, well our office has already fielded a request from his court-appointed lawyer to have him transferred back upstate while he awaits trial… something about him not feeling safe at Rikers with the 'over-lording presence' of the Reagan family and the NYPD in the city," Erin revealed with a snort.

"Have your boss sign off on that," Frank advised as everyone looked up at him in surprise. "I don't want any grounds for appeal," he frowned before adding. "It all goes by the book, besides if he stays here in the city I might just be tempted to go over there and finish the job myself."

"You'd have to beat me to it," Danny admitted with a frown. "I think we have a step or two on the kid here until his noggin stops ringing, though," he added with a look at his younger brother who had gone a few shades closer to transparent now with the conversation topic and the smell of the food making itself known.

"If you'll excuse me," Jamie groaned before standing abruptly and making his way back into the kitchen.

"I'll go," Erin quickly jumped in with a small frown offered to Linda before she stood and followed her little brother's path out of the room. Danny was quick to give his wife a little bump of encouragement knowing that his sister's forgiveness in this instance was going to be the toughest egg to crack. Erin Reagan had a bit of a momma bear streak herself when it came to her siblings.

"That is one stubborn boy of yours, Francis," Henry commented as he looked over at his own son. "No idea where he gets it from. I can't believe you allowed him to go against the doctors that way. He should be in bed."

"This coming from the man that insisted he could go home for Thanksgiving dinner after having a heart attack," Frank tutted as he remembered that day several years back. "Having the family here today all together was what was important to Jamie and Eddie…" he paused with a smile for his future daughter-in-law to thank her once more for the opportunity to have conversation like this again. "Besides, he's old enough to make his own decisions. Stubborn… and you wonder where he gets it from?"

"Well it's just good to see that you're not all looking at me for once when you say that," Danny offered with the big Cheshire cat grin that he had been sporting all day as he and Linda had rounded the bases a few times the night before and he was feeling like a new, improved man. "Reagans are all thick-headed, but Jamie can have that crown for a while."

"Eh, can it Daniel," Henry huffed as he buttered another piece of bread. "And wipe that look off your face when you sit at this table before your Grandmother comes back and hauls you out into the yard by your ear like she wanted to do that first time you brought Linda to dinner in this house. Ice cream, my ahh… little duckies," he finished, having caught himself in time and looking sheepishly down the table at the boys and Kaylin while Danny and Linda blushed mightily at that revelation… there was no hiding anything from this family, _ever._

"Duckies!" the little girl echoed as the mention of one of her favorite things had brought her out of her shell a bit. Aside from her fright, Kaylin had come through the trauma without any physical harm, but it would take her some time to trust strangers again. Thankfully, Bear had all but made it his mission to keep a close watch over her in the house so knowing he would make her safe at all costs made her feel better and his constant presence on the foot of her bed whenever she was sleeping assured that all bad men would stay away. "Mommy, can we go feed the duckies again?"

"Yes, baby," Eddie beamed at that name once more as she continued to hold the little one on her lap while looking around the table at everyone's smiles, knowing how much that meant to her. "When Daddy's feeling a bit better in a couple of days we can drive up all together and go visit Tom and Lillian again and feed the ducks, but you'll have to show me how, okay?"

"'Kay!" came the enthusiastic reply as her infectious smile flashed.

"Well, I think that sounds like an excellent plan," Frank advised as he sat back and took another sip of wine. "But for now, can someone pass me the gravy? This roast looks wonderful!"

"Oh, it's still on the stove," Linda offered with a smirk towards Eddie recalling the demise of the cherished gravy boat the evening before. "We, uh, well we had to improvise a little with that," she revealed as she got up and made her way out to retrieve it. "I'll be right back."

Once in the kitchen, Linda nervously approached as she found Jamie seated at the breakfast bar holding his head and Erin standing next to him protectively rubbing his shoulders and trying to offer some comfort for his current pounding headache while they were talking quietly. _Damn, it's two for the price of one,_ Linda thought nervously as she approached anyway.

"No, Erin, I don't feel like eating," he was insisting. "Just go… I'll sit on the couch or lay down."

"Well then you should be laying in the hospital if you're still this badly concussed," she replied before looking up and catching onto Linda's presence. "He should be, right?" she offered in her direction with a bit of shrillness in her voice with a sharp look to match. "I mean as a nurse you'd say that… even if he deserved it?"

"Oh Erin, please stop," Jamie begged as he glanced up and caught the direction the strife was aimed at. "For the love of God and for the last time… she did what she had to, otherwise today could have ended up to be very different. Let it go, you're the only one left with an axe to grind. I'm fine… when I think of how close we came to losing everything… and still might… this is nothing."

"Oh, Jamie… Erin… I do want to apologize," Linda offered as she came up and sat at one of the adjoining stools. "I know I said… and did… some terrible things the past few weeks. I never wanted to hurt anyone and if I've done something now to make this harder on you… with Kaylin… I'll never forgive myself," she admitted with a sigh. "Maybe I selfishly had some of those feelings at one point when I was so angry with Danny, but it was completely wrong to take it out on you when I should have been looking in the mirror. Please forgive me for that."

"Already done," Jamie answered with a one-eyed glare to his sister. "Right? Today was all about bringing the family back together again in Grandma's house."

"Yes, you're right," Erin conceded as she gave in knowing that Grandma Betty would have been disappointed with anything less than forgiveness within the family and took a seat alongside them. "I'm sorry too. I've been acting like…"

"Their sister," Linda smiled ruefully. "I get that, and for what it's worth I'm really sorry I wasn't acting like one for you too, Jamie. You've always been there for me… the best little brother I've ever had."

"Yes, well I'm trying to convince this one that he doesn't have anything to worry about." Erin admitted as she softened her tone finally. "He's thinking too much like a defense attorney. Nothing that IAB noted has any bearing on Quinlan's case," she assured them both. "We have Officer Rodgers' ID to nail him for that shooting, the DNA on the eyeglass for the jogger and enough circumstantial evidence with the car and the cameras to put him away forever without breaking a sweat."

"You need to get Rodgers to ID him on tape," Jamie insisted as he continued to hold his head and look down. "Martin is paralyzed… there could always be complications before trial. We need to cover ourselves in case he…"

"Already done," Erin assured.

"The DNA from the glass could get tossed," Jamie offered as he struggled to think straight. "Mike didn't attach it to Kaylin's profile in the system right away… a good attorney could use that to show collusion and give merit to the claims he made against us last night. If we lose those things the case goes mostly circumstantial and you know how that can play out. I don't want that monster on the street ever again!" he spat.

"We also have his DNA from the hole in the wall in the hotel room and on all those printouts of the articles about Kaylin's adoption and the pictures he found of you, Dad and Eddie," Erin countered. "Plus only his prints and DNA on the gun and have you forgotten your TARU buddy's security system here? High res images of him breaking into the house on his own free will. Better than a hundred eyewitnesses, okay?" she added worriedly as he remained pale. "Will you at least go and rest now? It's over… c'mon now trust me. I can't be on the case but I'm gonna watch it with an eagle eye. I won't let one little thing happen to put it in jeopardy. This is my favorite niece we're talking about!"

"Okay," Jamie sighed as he relaxed a little with the vision of Auntie Erin Reagan on the watch. She herself would be likely to hire a hit squad if necessary before Jared Marcus Quinlan saw the light of day again. "Maybe I will go lay down for a while."

"Linda!" Frank called out from the dining room. "How's that gravy coming?"

"Oh, crap," she offered as she jumped up and hunted through the cabinets for a container to dump it into from the pan still simmering on the stove. "Be right there!" she yelled back anxiously. "I just need to find something to put it in first."

"Linda, relax… I'll help," Erin offered as she walked over. "Jamie, where's that nice big gravy boat I gave you for your birthday?"

* * *

 _There, so we finally have the family all back together again… almost. Next, Frank deals with some of the external fallout from Quinlan's arrest before there is a surprising solution offered, and there are duckies to be fed while Jamie heads towards that much needed heart-to-heart with his mom. After that will come the fun of the wedding, the return of Eva Janko and that mystery honeymoon spot!_


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48

"D...a...d...d...y..." came the pleading soft feathery whisper as the earliest morning light was filtering in the windows on Thursday morning. The sound barely broke Jamie's consciousness as he lay comfortably on his back after a night of the soundest, most comfortable sleep he'd had in weeks. Quinlan had been successfully transferred upstate and away from his family, the frying pan-induced headache was finally nearly gone, urges met courtesy of a long-awaited late night snuggling session with a very enthusiastic blond-haired partner who was currently warming his right side as she was curled up next to him. He had almost convinced himself that he was hearing things when it happened again.

" _Daddy!"_ came a slightly more insistent hiss.

That one did it and his eyes shot open with a start to find a somewhat spooky-looking face that bore a striking resemblance to the little girl in the Poltergeist movies staring at him from a spot next to the bed, illuminated only from below by the soft blue alarm clock glow. It was enough to scare the sweet bejesus out of him.

"What's the matter, baby?" he asked in an alarmed huff as he rolled over to look at her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Did you have a bad dream? Are you scared?" Residual fallout from Quinlan's actions had provoked several screaming nightmares that week, but that was not the cause for the early morning wake up call this time.

"Can we go see the duckies today?" was the burning question that needed to be asked and answered at 5:11 in the morning. " _P'ease?"_

How does one say no to that?

"Kaylin Elizabeth, you are such a little stinker," Jamie sighed with a smile as he scootched over, pushing Eddie back to her side with a moan of protest as she turned over. "Come in here and let's get a little more sleep before that. It's still dark out… even the duckies are in their beds… we can't wake them up yet." Truth be told, they had planned to give into Kaylin's pleas the day before, but another soaking rainstorm had postponed the trip. Today though was forecast to be beautiful and would likely be the last opportunity in some time that Jamie and Eddie would find themselves with a whole day off together as she had been added back to the duty roster for the 12th starting the next morning and he was prepared to make a case with the doctors for reinstatement early next week providing he could pass on merit or outwit the concussion testing protocol if necessary. Now that the threat against them had been removed they could get back to the normal little family life they were building until the wedding in just over three months now made it official.

A soft bounce on the end of the bed indicated the arrival their latest member as Bear settled himself down in a comfortable nest of covers in the convenient space below Eddie's feet and the happy foursome managed another few hours of rest before the humans got up to prepare for their little adventure and the cat was rewarded with the sound of fishies hitting his bowl.

###

"Sir, I just need your signature on these two requisitions regarding funding for the EDP symposiums the commission is recommending for all staff sergeants this fall," Detective Abigail Baker explained as she moved some more papers around on Frank's desk. With the distractions of the Quinlan case largely mollified now as the DA's office had taken over the investigation, it was back to regular business in the office and she was desperate to get some of the mundane paperwork out of the way early that morning. DCPI Garrett Moore was due to return to work for his first day back on the job following his stepson's death nearly two weeks earlier, and the Commissioner's assistant knew he would need an extended bracket of Frank's time that day to sort through outstanding items from his neglected agenda.

"Do we have an itinerary for those conferences yet?" Frank inquired as he scanned through the paperwork. This project was Jamie's pet charge and thus far in just a few short months, the work of the panel of experts he assembled had made some notable headway in improving the NYPD's response and treatment of emotionally disturbed persons, so much so that there were already inquiries from other urban departments to shadow their work.

"Yes, sir," Baker answered as she flipped another page over to him. "We also have a request from Washington to provide two attendees for a round table panel discussion with the House Armed Services Committee in December regarding the guidelines being developed for officers when they encounter members of the military in distress," she smiled, knowing that was a subject near and dear to Frank's heart and one he was immensely proud that Jamie had tackled with the help of his friend Rick Fellows, a former Marine and member of the FDNY Rescue Services. "They're having a review of new domestic military programs that week and it coincides with those seminars in DC for major metropolitan policing you are slated to attend."

"Good, let's make it a family trip then," Frank ordered. "See if you can get the smoke eaters to spring for Rick's expenses since their commissioner asked for equal billing on that initiative and put Jamie down for the other slot. Those two are the driving force behind that work so they should get the plaudits before the mayor steps in and tries to take the credit," he surmised as he made some notes. "Check the staffing numbers and see if it makes more sense to charter a flight instead of going commercial. Anything else on that front?" he asked.

"No, sir, that's everything for today," she responded as she reviewed her calendar before gathering her paperwork and preparing to leave. "Garrett is due to come up in a few minutes."

Frank sighed as he sat back in his chair and pushed his glasses back. "Have you spoken to him yet?" he asked as his DCPI had been notably absent since the news of his family tragedy and the Commissioner's office had regrettably been informed that morning of a few new wrinkles in the case against Quinlan which were sure to further hit the grieving stepfather hard.

"No, sir," Baker answered with a tight frown. "The last time I saw him was the day of the funeral and he hasn't responded to any personal messages since then. I believe he and Cynthia took a few days to go south and visit her family, not all of them were able to attend the services."

"Very well," Frank responded. "Send him straight in when he gets here and hold all other calls please. I'll need thirty."

###

"Reagan, those were the best waffles I've ever had!" Eddie enthused as they cleaned up a bit in the kitchen before setting off to the McPherson estate for the day. "Since when do you know how to make those and where the heck did that deluxe waffle maker come from? I don't remember seeing it before? You've been holding out on me!"

"Grandma Betty's secret recipe… whipped egg whites, vanilla extract and melted butter then dusted with icing sugar," he revealed in response to the first question before answering the next. "And Erin… she's been getting me all kinds of crazy house stuff for birthday and Christmas presents as gag gifts for years. Most I had buried away in closets because I didn't have any use… or room for it," he added. "I found a few things when I packed up the apartment. That was her gravy boat you smashed the other night too," he mused as he made a mental note to replace it. "It's just a weird thing she does at least once a year. I don't know… she's either re-gifting, or it was supposed to be her way to remind me that I was coming up on thirty and not married yet."

"Ooh, so there's more?" Eddie's eyes flashed in excitement as she envisioned feathering her new nest with a few more things. "'Cause I was starting to wonder about you a little there too… and I should update our registry so we don't double up on wedding presents."

"Down Martha Stewart, don't get ahead of yourself... there wasn't anything else too exciting unless you're into crock pots and garlic presses," Jamie laughed as he shook his head at her domestic enthusiasm. "Make sure you take cookware off that list, though… we don't want to give Linda any more ammo to use," he smirked as he tapped the side of his head which was still rampant in purples and greens as the bruising had started to fade. "The rest of it's still at the storage place… I paid upfront and took out a four-month lease there so there's so rush to bring it all here. Besides, you don't want to encourage Erin's behavior or don't be surprised when she gets you a bouncy seat and baby wipes for your birthday next month."

###

"You wanted to see me?" DCPI Moore asked flatly as he entered the office with a frown while Baker closed the door behind him. Normally a fairly jovial man, Garrett looked drawn and as if he had aged ten years in the last few weeks… a feeling Frank was all too familiar with. Still it pained him to see his friend and long-time advisor so distant although he had a good inclination as to why that might be and the news he had to reveal would only draw that divide deeper.

"Of course, step in and have a seat," Frank offered as he got up from his desk and joined him on the adjacent leather chair. "How are you holding up? Cynthia?"

"We're doing… as well as can be expected," Garrett answered tightly in a familiar but noncommittal manner. "Look, do me a favor and let's just skip all the niceties, Frank. I'm not in the mood to dance. We've had this discussion about Sam before and I know where you stand on the choices I made, but you have no right to judge me for what I did or tried to do regarding my boy. You were right, is that what you wanted to hear?"

Frank sat back with a heavy sigh. He had been anticipating this reaction since the news of Sam's death had first reached his desk as the previous situation had left a sore spot with his DCPI ever since the young man had been picked up for making an observed drug buy in Washington Heights the previous fall. "What I wanted to hear is how my friend was doing after a terrible loss… something I know a bit about unfortunately, especially in this instance."

"Be thankful that you'll never know what it's like to make decisions that come back to haunt you like this," Garrett conceded with a slightly softer tone as he took a page out of Frank's own book and walked to the window to gaze out down below. "I tried to do everything I could for him… for what I thought Sam needed, and instead it put him front and center into that life… I thought I was protecting him…"

"That I understand completely also," Frank answered the man behind him with a frown and look at the floor. "I have regrets too… I tried to protect my son in other ways and it nearly destroyed him as well. Different methods… different reasons, but nearly the same result at the same hands. A moment of chance brought Quinlan into both of their lives."

Garrett raised his eyes and rocked back on his heels with that admittance. "Two ends of the spectrum, Frank… the hero cops versus the druggie that deserved what he got. That's how it will play out in the papers when this comes to the trial."

"No one deserves to lose their life at the hands of another," Frank sighed. "No parent deserves to lose a child."

"I want the bastard dead," the DCPI revealed as he continued to keep his back turned to Frank. "I want him to suffer and pay for what he did to my son, but I know with your damn ethics he'll be given every possible benefit… just like with this transfer upstate. Before he went after your family in their home, everyone was just focused on the fact that he had killed a cop and injured another. No one bothered to put the same effort into finding Sam's killer… he was written off. It's just lucky for us I guess that he got caught for something else."

"That's not true," Frank insisted while he acknowledged that it could easily appear that way in circumstances like this. "We had detectives canvassing that whole area… it's difficult to get anyone to come forward there, you know that Garrett… and there are no forensics to tie Quinlan to it otherwise," he sighed, ready to reveal another blow. "The DA's office called this morning. Weber said they don't have enough to list Sam's murder on the indictment at this point…"

"There's a witness!" Garrett snapped in disbelief as he finally turned around.

"An uncorroborated statement by a convicted drug dealer with a rap sheet that's three pages long… they can't put him on the stand."

"That's not justice, Frank!" the DCPI thundered as his face turned red in anger. "That's not justice for _my_ boy! How am I supposed to accept that?"

In his heart, the police commissioner knew that was a valid truth and he could only hope that the system could make amends in the future or he feared that the NYPD had not seen its last loss caused by the hands of Jared Marcus Quinlan.

###

"You feeling okay, Reagan?" Eddie asked worriedly as she drove through mid-morning traffic with one eye on the road and the other taking quick glances over at Jamie who was slumped over a little more than she would have liked and staring out the window. "What's wrong? Is your headache back?"

"No, I'm good," he replied and straightened up a little. "I was just thinking."

"Always a dangerous thing," she sighed. "Do I have to guess about what?" she asked as she took a peek in the rear-view mirror to see that Kaylin was napping contently in her car seat with small little twitches of her nose and lips... _probably dreaming about those ducks,_ Eddie smirked. "Your know, sweetness is almost as cute as you when she does that little drool thing in her sleep."

"Har, har, har," he sighed as he subconsciously wiped the corner of his mouth, as always sensitive to that little comment as he had been teased mercilessly for it all his life by relentless siblings. "She's really asleep?" he asked quietly.

"Yup… always in the car by this point, you know that. Now spill, what's bugging you?"

"I was… well," he hesitated. "I'm just really glad she has you, Ed… that you're her mom now," he added softly. "She's gonna need someone to help her understand later… I mean we're all cops, but when she finds out..."

"You're talking about when she's older and asks about Quinlan… about him being in prison like my dad, because you think she'll be ashamed of herself for what he did," Eddie finished for him evenly as she connected the familiar dots, not exactly sure what she should read into that and flipping another glance over at Jamie, this time more of an annoyed variety. While the topic had not come up come up much between them lately, now that the wedding was drawing closer she was starting to usher feelings around about her father once more given the fact that she had reconciled with him to a point and yet he would still not be present at the ceremony since he was due to remain imprisoned for a minimum of another year. His presence was not something she had been willing to postpone things for, and she shuddered with the notion of Armin and Eva Janko under the same church roof together with the royal NYPD Reagan family.

"Yeah, I mean no… not like that," he backtracked, sensing her ire when his mind was really on the things his own mother had done and how tempting it would be if he could just make this all go away for his little daughter. "I was thinking… well, that we shouldn't hide it from her if she asks, but I want her to know that it shouldn't define her… that what he did does not reflect on who she is… and you're the very best person I can think of to explain that to her," he added with a hopeful penitent eye towards his blonde counterpart.

"Nice save," she acknowledged as the blinker came on for the exit to take them to the McPherson's. "But it's not the same. My dad betrayed his own family, but Quinlan… he's nothing to Kaylin. If she wants to know we'll be honest with her, but you're gonna be her real Dad forever. She won't need to go looking for anyone else to fill that spot, and if he ever reaches out to her… well, I'll be scheduling a little private meeting of my own and refresh his memory about what happens when someone messes with my baby girl," she vowed.

Jamie snickered a little at that image. "Thanks, lambchop… guess I needed to hear that. It's just with him still out there… sometimes I worry…"

"Too much," she finished with a smirk as she turned the car down the stately tree-lined drive and towards the main house where they were expected, no doubt with several little buckets of duck chow ready and waiting to go as Tom and Lillian were delighted with the opportunity to host not only the wedding, but their dear friend Mary Margaret Reagan's family on any occasion.

###

Frank Reagan remained alone in his office long after DCPI Garrett Moore stormed out, searching for some kind of solution to the situation that would pacify his grieving and angry advisor but finding none forthcoming. Sometimes being the most ethical PC in the recent history of the office had its own drawbacks as under another's control, particularly his own father's to be honest, perhaps Quinlan would not have been able to make and win the demands he had thus far. Frank's oft-animated mustache wrinkled once more in anger when he considered the power that the clumsy cop-killer was still able to wield under the rules of their own justice system when so many innocents were granted none. With another frown, he tapped his fingers on the desk and wondered what could possibly come next.

That inquiry was almost immediately addressed as despite orders to the contrary, his office door opened suddenly once more to reveal an anxious Abigail Baker who regrettably interrupted his thoughts. "It's Erin, sir," she revealed to explain away her disregard of his orders. "She says it's urgent."

Frank pursed his lips and braced himself for whatever was coming as his daughter swept into the room with a very tight look on her face.

"I'm not going to like this at all... am I?" he sighed as he tried to read further into her expression.

"Well that depends," she answered cryptically with a concerned frown and a shake of her head. "Dad, our office just received an interesting call from the prison warden at Upstate Correctional and I'm not sure what to say… it's about Jared Quinlan."

* * *

 _Humph, it appears that our blue-eyed bad penny is turning up again just as Jamie, Eddie and Kaylin arrive for a much-needed day retreat at the estate. What is it this time and does it mean a continued threat for our lovebirds and their little duckie as they prepare to finally tie the knot and take that much anticipated honeymoon to…?_


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49

Jamison Reagan found himself alone again, seated in a familiar spot in the front pew of the small church at the McPherson estate, seeking solace there once more after having begged off the last half of the lovely catered lunch Tom and Lillian had provided as a taste-testing surprise for Eddie… complete with all the available options for the sit-down dinner at the reception. While his nausea had lifted for the most part earlier in the week, Jamie still found himself sensitive to food smells and those types of decisions were really best left to his little blond gourmet connoisseur, anyway. Kaylin had been practically vibrating with anticipation for her little trip out to the pond, but after heavy negotiation had agreed to wait until the adults were done with their boring wedding planning stuff when reminded that mommy needed lessons from her on the very best way to get those duckies properly fed. It wouldn't have been right to go without her the little girl reluctantly agreed, so the plan was to meet back up at the house in another hour or so which gave him ample time to do what needed to be done in private.

It was time to take his father's advice and talk to Mom.

Jamie glanced over at the flickering lights dancing on the wall from the three wicks he had lit on the rack of votive candles in the vestibule on his way in… one for Mary, Joe and Grandma Betty. Usually there would be a fourth for the other brother lost… he almost always included one for Vinny, but today was more of a Reagan-family parley so he hoped his old partner wouldn't mind the exclusion. Vin was never comfortable if he found himself in the middle of a conversation between someone and their momma, anyway.

"I'm here, Mom," he said simply as he leaned back and looked up at the old cross still hanging near the rafters. "And I still miss you every day," he whispered as his throat grew tight and he sat forward while his head fell into his hands as they rested on his knees.

It took several more minutes before he could reassemble his thoughts and go on...

"Dad said I should talk to you… that it would help and you would still hear me, because… because I never got a chance to tell you that night…" he paused to take a deep breath. "I was quitting," he revealed. "It took me so long to work up the courage to tell you that I was planning on quitting law at the end of that term and coming home to apply for the academy…" he sniffed. "I knew you would be so disappointed in me." There it was said and there was another long pause before he could continue.

"I wanted to tell you… I wanted to tell you I was just as brave as everyone else. Joe believed… he was helping me, but then you made him stop because you already knew somehow, didn't you?… and I couldn't go against him when you were gone… you knew he couldn't say no and that wasn't fair to me either."

"I wanted to be angry at you for what happened… for keeping me away so I could focus on school when I should have been there, but I couldn't… no one would have understood because we all loved and missed you so much," he closed up and could not continue for several more minutes.

"Dad said I should be angry at him now instead, but I don't want to do that anymore either. I don't want to be angry with anyone, because I understand now… why you did what you did, because of Kaylin and what we just went through. You'd love her so much, Mom… and Eddie too… they're everything to me and I would do whatever I had to in order to protect them and keep them safe. If anything ever happened to either of them… I couldn't handle it, but I'm a good cop, Mom… I really am, and I'm gonna stay that way. It's what I was meant to do and I hope you can understand why and forgive me too."

Jamie's attention was drawn back to the candles once more as they flickered wildly in an almost mesmerizing pattern, but he didn't automatically assume that it was an ethereal sign from the grave. There was a far more secular reason for the breeze that now wafted through the space. Perfect timing again.

"How did you even know where to find me?" he sighed without turning around and resolved himself to the answer… the same consistent expected damn, uh… better make that darn answer to a question like that given where they were...

"I'm the Police Commissioner."

"Right, and how could I forget that?" Jamie asked as always but was not surprised this time when another looming presence suddenly appeared on the seat next to him, having made his way in from the back after spotting his son inside.

"Am I interrupting? I can come back if you want more time alone."

"No," Jamie sighed as he finally sat back up and looked up at the cross once more. "I think I've finally said my peace. You were right… I needed to talk to her. I do feel better now."

"That's good," Frank sighed in relief as he offered his own short prayer of thanks that perhaps the worst was now indeed behind them given the resigned tone of his son's voice. "You feel like she's close to you here, don't you? I forgot how beautiful and quiet it is."

"She's here," Jamie nodded sadly with conviction. "Always… now what's wrong, Pop?" he demanded in a soft nervous voice. "It must be important… otherwise you wouldn't have driven all the way up here on a work day or come in when you saw me praying."

"I came to offer my own brand of peace, and I figured you wouldn't want to wait too long to hear about it," his father revealed. "It's over," he added cryptically before adjusting his glasses and explaining quickly. "Your sister's office received a call from the warden at Upstate Correctional. Jared Quinlan was found shanked in his cell before breakfast this morning. He died on the way to the hospital. May God have no mercy on his soul," he finished with a contentious frown for the man who had taken his officers and terrorized his family.

Jamie's sharp intake of breath still surprised his father even though his own reaction had been the same. "Who? I mean it wasn't…" he started in shock.

"Retribution? Not from our side... no, son," Frank answered as he set Jamie's mind at ease that there would be no further scandal involving the NYPD or the Reagan family itself. "Not that there wasn't temptation… but they believe it was Michael James Whistler, the man that Jayne had first named as Kaylin's father on that paternity test… he's on his second strike for possession with intent there and the one that confirmed the identity of Quinlan to Danny and Renzulli when they did the interview at the prison. Apparently Quinlan went after him yesterday in the hall about that and the guards had to pull them apart. I guess he wasn't going to wait around to see what happened next."

"Oh," was the only reply as the two of them remained seated, staring ahead lost in thought for a few more moments as they contemplated the ramifications of that news and grappled with the emotions it invoked. "Probably could almost call it self-defense; he was a crazy son of a… is it wrong to be sitting in a church and be happy about something like that?" Jamie finally broke the silence.

"Probably," his father replied with a heavy sigh and another glance up at that cross. "To me he got what he deserved, but if you'd ask your mom that question… she was always about forgiveness and turning the other cheek although her Irish temper would have been flaring too if someone threatened you, Eddie or that beautiful grandchild of ours." Frank still often spoke of his wife in the present tense, particularly when he sensed her presence near as it was undoubtedly right now. "How is Kaylin handling things?" he worried for the little one who had still been rather clingy the last time he had seen her two days previously.

"A few nightmares," Jamie admitted. "That's why we came out here today… to get her out with other people, especially since Eddie is going back to work tomorrow and I hope to get cleared next week. You always talk about me hitting the jackpot with a father that's the PC… look at what sweetness wound up with for biological parents," he said, shaking his head. "She slept well last night though… we all did finally, except for her waking me up at the crack of dawn this morning because she was so excited about coming here today, but I'll take that anytime. Bear guards her bed at night so she's not scared; she loves him."

"That's good to hear," Frank muttered in relief as he paused for a second before doing something he had been waiting weeks for… he put his arm around his son's shoulder and it was not rebuked. Instead Jamie sighed and relaxed as he rested his head up against his dad.

"It's finally over, isn't it… everything? We're okay now?"

"Yes," Frank breathed as he had prayed to hear those words and he knew that Jamie was speaking of more than just Quinlan's dangerous presence in their lives. "We'll always be good, you and I, and this part is done now. From what I saw when I stopped at the main house though it seems like you'll be busy with other things for the next few months at least… I can't remember what but I think I've got something big penciled in on my calendar for September. Might even have to get a new penguin suit and everything."

"Hmm, that's all I've gotta worry about too… Eddie's pretty much hands on for everything else. She and her mom took care of… oh, uh… well," Jamie swallowed hard as he remembered what had happened the last time he had sat in this very spot as Eva had declared her disapproval of the marriage before clipping back down the aisle in her heels and winging her way back upstate. "Maybe I've gotta worry about Mrs. Janko too, unless you can talk to her and soften her up again?" Jamie eyed his father hopefully. "She's not exactly come over to the dark blue side just yet."

"Above my pay grade, son," Frank admitted with raised eyebrows as that was one ice cold potato he had no desire whatsoever to be passed. "Sounds like you need to let Eddie handle it or you might need to make another trip up to Rochester this summer," he advised as he glanced over and caught his son's reluctant face. "Cheer up, maybe you'll have time to stop up in Skaneateles and see the wooden boats this time. Just remember the Dramamine for Kaylin before you leave."

"Aw, Dad! Hey, that reminds me! Listen you've gotta swear not to tell Eddie because it's a surprise, and she'd never say yes if she knew beforehand, but guess where I booked our honeymoon?!"

Frank thought about it for a second before his eyes lit up. "Oh no, you didn't! Jamie… ah, how fantastic; what I wouldn't give…" he sighed with great personal envy evident, it had always been a lifelong dream of his to visit this place. "You're sure that was a good idea though, son? I thought Eddie was dropping hints about the Caribbean or Hawaii? You might want to reconsider starting your married life off with a surprise like that… I mean I could never get your mother to agree to go with me," he grumbled with sincere disappointment. "I should have just booked it and handed her the ticket like you're doing. Someday I will see it if I have to go by myself. You hear that, Mary Margaret?" he chastised out loud to his beloved wife. "My one regret… we should have gone before the kids came along and I became Commissioner, there's no way I could take the detail. I'll have to wait until I retire now," he sighed miserably. "And they never hold law enforcement conferences there that I'm invited to attend."

"That's why I want to do it now, and she'll love it once she gets there," Jamie replied confidently. "I mean anyone can go to those boring all-inclusive places… I'll take her somewhere like that next, but I wanted to make our honeymoon special… ten days and nine nights of the most romantic landscapes along with unique cultural experiences, gourmet dining and thrilling activities," he quoted from the brochure held clearly in his eidetic memory. "Indulge yourself at this very special point in your life with adventure and romance along with first-class service in exotic surroundings. The sites are carefully selected for their superb scenery to ensure that this vacation is truly unforgettable," he sighed happily. "We can drive and see everything together, and besides it _is_ an island and there are beaches with tropical warm water, a world-class spa and hot pools! Plus everything else! You can't ask for more and it's not hurricane season there!" he enthused confidently with a self-satisfied huff as all the important boxes in his mind were checked with the exception perhaps of the one at the top of the list… a certain blond-haired partner's approval… bah. "We even get to take a boat tour in the bay on a wooden schooner and spend one night in a cottage by the ocean with floor to roof two story windows… it's so perfect," he practically gushed.

"It does certainly sound that way," Frank agreed with a glance at his watch. "But don't you have a very important prior commitment right now? I believe there are some…"

"Ducks to be fed!" Jamie gasped as he jumped up while imagining Eddie dealing with Kaylin's impatient wiggle dance at the moment. "You coming, Dad?"

"Go ahead… I'll be up in a little while. Tell Kaylin to save Grandpa a few handfuls. I'd like a little private time with your mother myself," Frank smiled before his son rushed over and blew out the candles before leaving, determined not to keep his two greatest loves waiting as an enormous part of the weight holding him captive for years had now been fully lifted.

"I guess I should visit you here more often," Frank sighed after a few moments as he spoke to the silent walls. "I know it's been a while since I came. Jamie says you are always here… and now I know why it was one of your favorite places. I miss you my beautiful Mary Margaret… every single moment of each day. I wasn't truthful earlier though when I said I had only one regret; I had another of course and it almost cost us dearly, but that's over with now and we've come out on the other side. You would be so proud of him… of all of them. We were truly blessed with each one of our children and grandchildren. Our youngest though… he's had a lot to test his faith lately… but you gave him strength in that and now finally he has peace with what happened. He's happy now and I know deep down that's all that ever really mattered to you. Keep him safe my love… keep them all safe until we can be together again."

* * *

 _So it appears that most of the relationship issues from this story have now been resolved with the exception of a notable pair of contentious ones that will carry over into our next installment which will be called "Resurgence" and mirror "Resurrection" as the two parallel series will finally come to a common point before moving on. Next, we fast forward to the fun and excitement of the rehearsal as mother of the bride, Eva Janko, returns in memorable fashion, and of course that much anticipated wedding and honeymoon reveal is still to be made before a resolution which wraps things and sets us up for moving forward._

 _Thanks for sticking with this for the whole long twisty journey! For tomorrow there will be another extra-long **BONUS DAY** chapter because there was no way I could split it and leave you all hanging on this one._


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50

"Reagan! My office! Now!" a familiar deep voice barked down the hall at the 3-5 precinct.

Jamie paused and gave a small shake of his head before answering Renzulli's order. He was already running late as he and his new partner had caught a collar on the way back to the house and he was due to be out to the McPherson's estate by the six-o'clock scheduled start of the rehearsal, which glancing at his watch, would be pushing it without lights and sirens if he didn't get his act together to change and bolt out of there soon. "Right away, Lieutenant," he called back as he handed his prisoner off to Rookie Officer Annabel "Annie" Anderson, his pick of the litter out of the recent graduating academy class and daughter of Bill Anderson whose fortunate misfiring truck was likely the difference for him that day in the park on the jogging trail when Quinlan tried to ambush him. Jamie figured the least he could do to thank the man was to take his daughter under his wing and keep an eye out for her. "Gotta go, duty calls," he said as he put his cap underneath his arm. "Take our friend here up to the front desk and process him for Central Booking, while I get a move on it or there will be a 10-52 called in on me if I'm late. Now Annabel, Officer Patterson will be your TO for the following week or so while I'm gone… you listen to him and let him lead, alright?"

"Yes, sir!" the animated and attractive young Scottish redhead replied. "Good luck with the wedding and have a wonderful time on your honeymoon!" she offered with a wide sincere smile. Annabel Anderson had been an exceptional cadet in the academy, finishing second in the sharpshooter competition and garnering high grades in every other facet of the training. Jamie had no doubt she was going to make an excellent officer one day as long as her enthusiasm was tempered a bit, and he had to admit she reminded him a great deal of another gung-ho partner he had shared a ride with… one that would be taking his last name in just about twenty-four hours now.

"Reagan!" Renzulli called again impatiently.

"Coming, sir!" Jamie replied with a heavy sigh as he smirked and winked good naturedly at his partner and left her with a "Thank you, and stay safe out there, Officer Anderson," before turning heel and making his way down to his CO's office and closing the door after he entered.

"Take a load off, Harvard," the older man ordered informally as he rocked back in his seat and stared at his old boot. After some initial awkwardness when Jamie returned to duty after the Quinlan fiasco, the two had made peace in their usual fashion and were back to their formerly close relationship. "I gotta tell ya," Renzulli offered with a frown. "You're spooking me being in here so late today on top of the fact that you partnered yourself up with a rookie fresh off the truck for the last week. Took everything I had not to cuff you to a desk for the last few tours to make sure you got to that chapel on time. You ain't exactly got the cleanest record for keeping yourself outta trouble here."

"About that, if you don't mind, sir, I've really gotta get going," Jamie fidgeted as he remained standing in front of the desk. "Eddie picked up her mother from the airport this morning to do all their pre-wedding mani-pedi stuff, and I've gotta hightail it out to the estate for the rehearsal by six or I'm a dead man walking, plus we've gotta have Kaylin's family birthday party tonight at the dinner since that was supposed to be this week too and Eddie wanted her mom to be there. Was there something else?"

"Yeah, it'll just take a second… would you mind checking the drawer over there," he asked while pointing to his credenza.

Jamie looked back at his old TO a little dumbfounded, but complied anyway. He pulled out a small dark blue velvet satchel. By the weight and feel of the object inside he choked up as he made a fairly educated guess as to what this might be about as he recalled a conversation he'd held with Renzulli at the hospital back in his second year after they had both taken a tumble down a set of marble steps after being ambushed at Reverend Potter's church.

"Go ahead and open it," Renzulli prodded. "Make sure it's still there."

Jamie bit his lip while pulling the strings and slipped a vintage-looking men's pocket watch into his palm adorned with the engraved relief of the NYPD logo and encircled by the words Courtesy, Professionalism and Respect. Flipping it open, opposite the white dial he found his badge number 60528 inscribed and… _Some Kind of Hero,_ referencing of course another one of their adventures… the time when Renzulli had taken the credit for saving that baby in the burning building in order to keep Jamie's face out of the papers when he was still working undercover.

"My old man gave me a watch when I first went on the job," the older man reminded. "Said after the gun, a cop's best friend is knowing what time it is."

"I remember," Jamie admitted as he rubbed the engraving and thought about its meaning. "Smart guy, your old man."

"Yeah, he was. I told you… he would have liked you, Reagan. He would have thought you was a good influence on me."

"We had some close calls out there," Jamie agreed. "Could have gone either way, but it always went ours. Never look back, though, right? That's what you taught me?"

"That's right, kid… but I never had a son I could give something like this to so I'd be honored if you would accept it… kinda like me passing the torch from my own father," Renzulli confided. "You forget anything that you were ever told about not being a cop… you're the best one I've ever seen. You take that forward, keep the rest of it in the past and go on to have a good life with Eddie and Kaylin, you all deserve it."

Jamie smiled as he closed the watch and looked up with a tight smile at his old mentor and friend… this meant so much especially after the bit of a rough patch they had just gone through together. "And I still wish I would have met your old man so I could have set him straight about one thing. It's you who's a good influence on me."

"And you don't forget it. Now get outta here, will ya?… There's someplace important you gotta be. The missus and I will be at that church with bells on tomorrow so don't mess anything up. Adele can't wait to see her goddaughter dressed up like a princess."

###

"He'll be here, Mom," Eddie sighed as she spotted her mother glancing at her watch once more. It was five minutes after six, but Jamie had assured her that he was on his way and would arrive shortly in a call just a few minutes ago. Meanwhile, Eddie was at the main house keeping her nervous hands busy helping to set up for the reception the following day by finishing the arrangement of all the place cards on the table and she was double checking the alphabetical order and spacing when she heard her mother hiss.

"Addison Greene and George Mahoy?" Eva questioned as she plucked a card off the table and waved it at her daughter. "Seriously?"

" _Oh for Pete's sake, they're just friends, Mom!"_ Eddie insisted while her voice went up an octave with stress as her nose twitched and she grabbed the card back to set in place. "Please let me finish this!" That tone was a cue for her Maid of Honor Hailey Hennig and Senior Bridesmaid Kara Walsh to perform a preordained tactical maneuver to split the pair as it had been obvious to them that the tension was ratcheting up between the mother and daughter all afternoon since, with the addition of Nicki and Kaylin, they had all spent the last several hours together having their nails done at the salon, complete with relaxing massages that were apparently badly needed. Hailey, being more familiar with Eva, quickly distracted the older woman and walked her off with some questions about the table arrangements while Kara sauntered up and slipped Eddie a flute of champagne for her nerves.

"Breathe," she advised. "Do some taste testing here. You can hit the harder stuff at dinner tonight and if the restaurant doesn't have it I've got a bottle in my trunk."

"Thank you," Eddie huffed as she tipped the glass and followed orders.

"Just looking out for my girl," Kara smiled. "I sure hope Reagan's not late tomorrow or your mom might really go off the deep end. Where's he staying tonight?"

"Oh, he'll be here on time," Eddie insisted. "All the Reagan men and Spencer are sleeping at the family house in Bay Ridge tonight… you know the typical Friday night guy stuff… pizza, beer, scotch, cigars... and I don't know, whatever game is on. Then Henry's making a big breakfast tomorrow and probably more of the same with some college football since the ceremony isn't until five. The limos will pick them up at three and Frank will get them where they are supposed to be… I'm not worried about that."

"Well, speak of the devil," Kara commented as she watched a black Mustang hastily pull up the drive and park outside in the circle before Jamie emerged and jogged towards them. "Looks like lover-boy finally made it."

"I'm really sorry," he started apologetically as he drew closer. "Caught a late collar with Annabel on the way back to the precinct and had to make sure she could handle the intake, but I'm here now," he added as his eyes lit up when he noticed the glass in Eddie's hands and one raised eyebrow. "Drinking already, ya lush?" he kidded light-heartedly and then instantly regretted that comment as he caught a death glare from both women. "Oh," he quickly managed to surmise the cause for the angst as he spotted Eva in heavy conversation with Hailey and Lillian. "Okay, then, well I'm here. What's say we get this rehearsal thing rolling so we can make it to dinner and a certain someone's birthday party on time?"

"Gladly," Eddie sighed as she handed him the nearly empty glass and made her way past him to take the short walk down the path to the church. "Almost everyone else is already down there waiting."

"After you, Miss Janko-soon-to-be-Reagan," he added as he held the door for the two women while Kara alerted the others and he followed Eddie's lead after knocking back the last sip of the champagne and setting the glass down. Suddenly that courthouse date to elope they had been joking about for the last few months didn't sound like such a bad idea.

###

"Jamers!" Spencer called as he bounced down the outside steps of the church as the small procession approached and he walked up to give his best friend and former Harvard roommate a man hug. "I thought maybe you already got cold feet," he joked as he clapped him on the back. "You know the bro-code rules of conduct reset if you do something like that… Eddie would be fair game then."

"Yeah, yeah… just try it," Jamie smiled as he nudged his friend towards Hailey. "There's someone right over there that's already free and happy to see you, though. Why don't you get your own act together one of these days, huh?"

"You know me, not grown up enough for something committed like that yet," Spencer smirked back. "Not like you, my friend."

"Well, just know I'll be flinging that garter right at you during the reception, man, and Eddie is gonna clear a path so Hailey catches the bouquet. You know what territory you're gonna have to invade after that, right? Do I have to point you in the right direction?"

"That I can handle," Spencer assured with a grin. "Do we get to practice it tonight too?"

"I'm not even going there," Jamie kidded. "You do that and you'll be walking down your own aisle by this time next year. I'm gonna hold you to it. Now c'mon, we better get in there," he added as he caught another frowny face from his intended who was now standing at the top of the steps looking back down at them with her hands on the hips of the flattering dark blue embroidered lace sheath dress she was wearing while everyone else was already inside. "I think Eddie wants to be in and out of here as soon as possible."

"Are you two coming?" she called back impatiently. "Lillian wants us to start in the middle so that everyone knows where they are supposed to end up first… this is like the gazillionth wedding she's had here so I'm listening to her and letting her run the rehearsal! She's got diagrams and everything so the pictures come out the best. Now move it!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Spencer laughed as he and Jamie double timed it up the steps and into the church. Indeed, Jamie's spry little sixty-something gray-haired godmother did have this down to an art form and soon the wedding party was evenly spaced at the proper angles with dots on the floor and clear instructions on how properly to hold the bouquets for the ladies as Nicki, Kara, Hailey and Eddie stood to the left with Kaylin in the front of the bridesmaids, and the groom's side consisting of Jamie, Spencer, Danny, Jack and Sean were told where to put their hands as they lined up to the right. The only wildcard in the whole scenario was of course Kaylin who was delighting in being a big girl as an official three-year-old now and often followed the beat of her own drummer, not that anyone minded. Originally, Kara's little boy Brandon was slated to be the ring bearer, but at nearly four now he had also recently developed quite an independent streak with a penchant for public temper tantrums and while Kaylin's actions would surely be forgiven, having another preschooler loose during the ceremony suddenly did not seem to be such a good plan so to his mother's great relief he was excused from the limelight this time. The rest of the Reagan clan was scattered about in the pews watching as no one had wanted to miss a minute of the festivities.

"Okay, this looks good!" Lillian enthused as she was taking particular delight in this weekend's events as Mary Margaret Reagan had long been one of her closest and dearest friends and she held a special place for Jamie as the youngest. She took the part of the priest who was unable to attend that night and quickly read through the ceremony headings so that everyone could note the order and Erin and Linda practiced their readings after the unity lighting ceremony where Eva showed just a bit of reluctance as she was summoned to join Frank in lieu of Mary at the altar to pretend to light the two separate wedding candles, with careful attention paid once again via Lillian's prompts so that the pair remained facing the wedding guests and the photographer as much as possible.

"Now the last item on the list for this part of course is the kiss," Lillian informed them. "Go ahead Jamie, but only a peck on the cheek today!" she warned while wagging her finger at him. "Save the good one for tomorrow, then you both turn and address the guests and Father McMurray will present you as man and wife."

"About time!" came the catcall from Henry in the second pew. "We've all been waiting for this for years and I'm not getting any younger!"

"And then I _finally_ get to find out where we are going on the honeymoon, right?" Eddie demanded as she ignored the elder Reagan and the subsequent snickers from the rest of the party. "'Cause I'm not gonna budge from this step until you tell me where we are going."

"I promise, lambchop," Jamie grinned as he kissed her cheek. "No more secrets once it's official."

"As long as I get to wear my new bikinis, I'll be happy," she offered. "I will… won't I?" she looked up at him with pursed lips and a no frills expression that meant the answer better be in the affirmative.

"You bet, bikinis it is and I'll hold you to that happy part."

"Alright, well, you two... let's just get through this next bit first before your minds go off any further on an impure tangent while you're standing in God's house," Lillian clucked tongue in cheek as it was her mission to get them to dinner on time despite the initial delay. "Next we have the recessional. The string quartet will start to play the first bars of the music and then Eddie will take her bouquet from the Maid of Honor like so and exit on Jamie's arm followed by Kaylin and then Sean singly and the rest of the party in reverse order in pairs. Keep about twenty feet in between couples and then the parents, Frank and Eva and then Henry. Okay? Now let's do that and then everyone will be in the right spot to practice the processional as we walk in and you already know where to go so it will be a piece of cake… buttercream with raspberry filling to be exact," she added with a smile as the whole rehearsal was now moving along like well oiled clockwork.

Soon the group obediently entered according to her directions and Jamie, Spencer and Danny were lined back up in front while Jack and Sean served double duty as escorts for the evening as those roles would be filled by George and Wilson during the actual ceremony. Henry was ushered in on Linda's arm while Frank followed with Erin. Nicki, Kara and Hailey followed suit and finally it was time for the big moment as Kaylin was sent down next tossing her flower petals out of the basket with exuberance while she skipped down the aisle and drew another round of smiles as she ran up to Jamie for a hug and kiss before taking her place on the dot by Hailey and Kara.

"Okay, Eddie and Eva," Lillian directed. "Wait until everyone is in place up here and the quartet will begin your processional music and Father McMurray will say "If everyone will please rise," in order to invite your guests to stand," which everyone in attendance did of course. "Once you arrive in the front, our last item will be the hand-off where you can kiss your daughter and congratulate her, and then the Father will ask "Who gives this woman in marriage and you can answer 'her father and I do.'"

And that was the exact moment in the proceedings that everything went to hell in a handbasket to quote Henry Fitzgerald Reagan.

Eva balked three steps down the aisle with Eddie on her arm.

"Mom, c'mon," Eddie frowned as she tugged. "We're almost done. What's the matter?"

"Edit, I am not 'giving you away' in this marriage while invoking your father's name!"

"Oh, that," Eddie sighed. "I knew you wouldn't like that. Don't worry about it. I changed the wording there with Father McMurray when I met with him last week. Lillian just doesn't have the latest copy. He's gonna talk about Jamie and I being joined in marriage and starting a new family and about the branches and roots and stuff and then he's gonna ask if you and Frank will bless and celebrate the marriage. You won't have to answer for dad at all. Just say 'we will.'"

"I won't do it, Edit. I cannot 'bless and celebrate' something I don't approve of."

" _MOM!"_ Eddie gasped as she spun Eva around to face her while suddenly aware that there were more than a dozen shocked pairs of eyeballs on them, most of which shared the same last name as her intended groom who had instead gone directly with his own death glare reserved for anyone who might hurt Eddie in this way, no matter if it was her own mother or not. Spencer was quick to put a hand on Jamie's shoulder to hold him back as he figured one of his major duties as the Best Man was to see to it that the groom did not get into a knock down drag out with his future mother-in-law before the ceremony. He needn't have worried though because none of them would be offered that opportunity since it was immediately apparent that this was going to be handled Janko-style as Eddie stubbornly pursed her lips and threw her rehearsal bouquet, the one made from the bows and ribbons reclaimed from her bridal shower gifts, down on a back pew before grabbing her mother's wrist and offering an "EXCUSE US! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!" while yanking Eva back through the foyer and out of one of the heavy front doors.

The sound of the weighty wooden panel slamming shut behind them was the last noise offered inside the church for several minutes as no one dared to so much as blink.

"EDIT! You will not speak to your own mother that way!" Eva demanded as the two ended up at the bottom of the steps in a fierce face-to-face standoff. "It's disrespectful!"

"RESPECT?! You don't have the RIGHT to ask for respect after what you just did!" Eddie shouted back. "You just disrespected ME in front of MY family! Jamie, Kaylin and I… that's what we are… before anyone says a vow or someone signs a paper tomorrow, WE'RE ALREADY A FAMILY!" she spat before continuing. "And the rest of the Reagans too! They've all given me more love and respect in the last year than I've ever felt from you! How DARE you think that you have the right to tell me what type of life I should lead! It's not like I would have picked my own childhood again if someone gave me the choice!"

"If you had lived through the consequences for the mistakes I've made in my life you wouldn't judge me either, Edit! I wish I would have listened to my own mother before marrying your father. Maybe I could have had a happy life too!"

"I HAVE lived through the consequences, REMEMBER?!" Eddie cried. "I've been screwed up by them for years, but now… well, NOW when I have the chance to be happy you want to take that away from me too?!… WELL IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN!" she vowed as she firmed up her look and straightened out her dress after wiping her eyes dry. "I love Jamison Reagan, and I love my daughter, Kaylin Elizabeth Reagan, and I love being a cop and I'm going to marry into a cop family and YOU DON'T GET A SAY IN THOSE THINGS ANYMORE! You're the one choosing to keep yourself unhappy. I'm finally over it. You and Dad are divorced… Go! FORGET ABOUT HIM AND FORGET ABOUT ME IF YOU NEED TO! Move on already! Right now, I am going back into that church to finish the rehearsal, whether YOU are THERE or NOT, tonight we are going to celebrate Kaylin's third birthday at the dinner whether YOU are THERE or NOT, and tomorrow I am going to marry the love of my life whether YOU are THERE or NOT! It's your choice!" she added before leaving Eva aghast as she stomped back up the steps in her favorite heels, pausing for just one more second to take a deep breath and readjust herself as she walked back into the church with her head held high. What could have been a crushing emotional moment for Eddie became empowering as the needed release had come after years of bottling those feelings up.

"Okay, I'm back," she informed her still-stunned audience of now raised eyebrows as she reappeared alone at the foot of the aisle and smoothed out her skirt. "Please, I'm fine and ready to continue," she reassured them in a strong voice that did not break in the slightest as she made direct eye contact with Jamie who was still restrained by Spencer. "My mother can make her own decisions," she told him. "I've made mine whether she approves of them or not. Pop," she offered with a warm smile and sparkling eyes as she turned her glance. "Would you do the honor of escorting me in? You've treated me as family from the very first moment we met and I'd rather not try this alone."

"You're sure, sweetheart?" Henry offered with obvious concern after hurrying back down to join her from his spot up front. "We can wait while Francis goes out and tries to speak to your…"

"Yes," Eddie interrupted while proudly taking his arm after grabbing her bouquet once more and offering him a kiss on the cheek before they started down the way together. "I'm sure. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have. It's time for me to be a Reagan now, too."

* * *

 _There you have it folks, Mommazilla met Bridezilla. LOL. Special thanks to lawslave and BlueBlood82 for some suggestions they provided for this chapter. Clearly, it's not a good idea to mess with a Janko-soon-to-be-Reagan woman no matter who you are, especially on the day before her wedding as Eddie is ready to move forward with or without Eva while Frank tries his best to broker a peace treaty between the two before the big day. Also for those wondering, there will be a Snapshot II posted at the end of this story about the rather unique way Renzulli and Jamie cemented their friendship back together, a replay on one of my favorite scenes between the two of them._


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51

"Damn, kid… you sure you know what you're getting yourself into here? It's not too late to back out," Danny joked as he handed his little brother a draft beer fresh from the bar while they were waiting for the rest of the party to assemble in the private room at Delmonico's restaurant for the rehearsal dinner. "I mean I've run into a lot of tough perps in my day, but I wouldn't want to face down Eddie in a dark alley when she gets in a mood like that and you do have the tendency to screw up once in awhile."

"Ha, ha, ha… this coming from the man whose wife sent me to the hospital with a frying pan to the head and who has a tendency to screw up a whole lot more than that," Jamie retorted with a smile. While he was worried what the aftermath of this fight between the Janko women might hold, he was relieved to see that Eddie had finally spoken her mind about it and appeared at peace. If it was anything like his own situation that would only help her in time… perhaps though not before tomorrow's scheduled I do's which was troubling. However, if there was one thing he did know, it was without a doubt not to step in front of this particular train. Eddie had made it abundantly clear to him that Eva was off limits for now and he was not to interfere in any way, shape or form. As much as he hated to admit it… he was pretty damn happy about that order.

"You've got a point there," Danny conceded with a smirk. "But I've gotta get out of jail free card," he asserted. "I've got my own surprise planned and I'll have Linda's scrapbook finished after tomorrow so if I need to whip it out anytime soon… problem solved," he asserted with a snap of his fingers as he tipped back his own beer. "That won't work for you," he observed. "Eddie's not into that kind of stuff and if you did what I think you did for this honeymoon, you're gonna have some 'splainin' to do, Lucy," he added in his best Ricky Ricardo Cuban accent.

"Oh, brother… here we go again," Jamie sighed as he watched Nicki, Erin and Linda arrive with colorful birthday presents and balloons in hand for Kaylin who had purposefully been sent with Eddie, Kara and Hailey so they would arrive last to preserve the surprise. "Put your money where your mouth is for once… steak dinner for two at Sparks in Manhattan says Eddie comes back from this trip and says it was better than anything she could have ever imagined."

"You're on, Harvard, as long as that includes a couple big prime sirloins and a good bottle of red… Linda likes Duckhorn Vineyards from Napa."

"Have you seen Eddie eat? Better put in some overtime before we get home."

"Yeah, but you'll order from the bunny menu so my bill would be cut in half… Linda and I both like steak… you'll lose and have to fork it out."

"Who needs to fork something out?" Henry asked as he walked up with a few scrumptious-looking shrimp appetizers in his hand. "What's the action?"

"The kid's taking bets on Eddie's reaction to the honeymoon news," Danny informed his grandfather with a mischievous look as he eyed the food and considered trying to slip one off the plate behind his elder's back. "Dinner for two at Sparks."

"Not her reaction to the news," Jamie griped as he had to admit that was probably going to be an initial hard sell. "Her opinion of the trip itself… plus she gets to spend ten days alone with me, and that's enough to make a stay in Jersey City look good," he added cheekily as he pointed to himself up and down as if he was God's finest gift.

"Humph, if you were that sure of yourself, you wouldn't be waiting until _after_ you're officially hitched before laying this one on her," Henry huffed as he snatched his plate out of Danny's reach. "Double or nothing, plus I wanna know how you got this past Kaylin, anyway? I mean does she know she's gonna be bunking with her Grandpas alone for more than a whole week without the two of you?"

"You bet, but don't forget Bear was part of that bargain… she won't go anywhere without him for that long," Jamie confirmed. "Plus one big stuffie duck and a promise from Dad that she can ride in the batmobile every day to work with him to stay in the daycare there… she'll be running 1PP by the time we get back," he joked. "Baker better watch out."

"Speaking of Baker, did I read the place card right?" Henry asked as Erin joined the group. "She's bringing Marc Walterson?"

"Marc Walterson…" the name sounded so familiar to her. "Shut the front door! Not the placekicker from the Jets? THAT Marc Walterson? Where'd she meet him?"

"No idea," Jamie confirmed. "Dad says they've been a thing for a while now... not that anyone else in the office was supposed to know before this."

"That wasn't the only surprise I saw on that table," Linda added as she sauntered up for some chitchat with a glass of wine in her hand. "Garrett and Cynthia Moore were still listed. Does Frank think he'll really come? I thought he was strictly all about the job now and no personal stuff ever since his son was killed."

"He's still invited as Dad's DCPI," Jamie revealed. "But he won't show up, especially because it's for me… he thinks his son's case got a pass from the department and the DA's office because of the type of person he was and Dad would never offer any repercussions for that as long as he's doing his job, which apparently he is… he's got a lot of guilt and grief I guess. Just makes everyday life down at the big office kind of awkward. I heard he only comes up to the fourteenth floor if it's absolutely necessary."

"I heard Ghormley talking about it. Dad should can Moore's ass then," Danny replied bluntly as he finished his glass of lager. "Takes the morale of the whole department down. He's never been afraid to make that call before. Speaking of the old man," he added as he looked around the room and did a quick head count. "Shouldn't he be here by now? I thought Eddie said everyone needed to be set before she brought Kaylin in? Where is he?"

"And you're supposed to be a detective first-grade?" Henry frowned at this oldest grandson. "C'mon, where do you think he is?" he huffed. "Francis would never let this thing between Eddie and her mother alone, not before tomorrow. He's probably sitting with one or the other of them right now waving a peace pipe and quoting that Joyce Carol Oates woman he likes for situations like this. As I recall she came up all the time when Erin was a teenager."

" _The relationship between parents and children, but especially between mothers and daughters, is tremendously powerful, scarcely to be comprehended in any rational way,"_ Erin recited from memory in a deep voice as all the Reagan siblings were want to do when mocking their father as she remembered some of the knock down drag outs she'd had with her own mother. "He used that one all the time for me when we were fighting. What I wouldn't give to have her here tomorrow though… oh, no!" she started suddenly as she remembered something important. "Mom's necklace! Did Dad remember to get it out of the safe yet?"

"Already in his jacket pocket," Henry confirmed. "He'll have it for tomorrow. Question is will Eddie have _her_ mother there? I mean don't get me wrong… I'll be honored to walk her down that aisle, but it's not right, not after all she's been through with her parents. I don't want to see the girl miss out on that too. What do you say there, Jamie?"

"I don't know," he frowned as he looked around at his once-again tightly knit family and wondered which direction his father had decided upon since neither of the Janko women were on scene to this point. "I don't think it's really hit her yet, but part of it was almost a relief in a way… I think she was afraid something like that might happen in front of everyone during the actual ceremony tomorrow so that fact that it was the rehearsal… we'll see," he sighed. "I have strict orders to stay out of it and I can't go against her, not today. I sure hope that Dad is able to pull something off though…" he trailed off as he spotted Eddie and her entourage come in the front doors laughing and trying to keep Kaylin from noticing the party setup before the little girl got too close. "Thank goodness for sweetness though… we sure need her brand of sunshine tonight," he murmured as one thing became evident.

Frank Reagan had the fortitude to go after the Snow Queen herself.

###

"I thought I might find you here."

Eva Janko's eyes flicked over at the tall substantial man approaching her on the path as she sat stone faced with her arms and legs tightly crossed on a seat next to the infamous duck pond on the McPherson's estate with about a dozen waterfowl watching in fervent hope from a distance, although uncharacteristically for the rather tame flock not one had approached her for the expected handout as even they sensed this woman was not in the mood to be generous.

"Mind if I take a seat?" he asked and decided to take the non-reply as an affirmative as he settled on the other end of the carved granite memorial bench that bore a tribute to Tom and Lillian's own son, Thomas Jr., who had perished more than thirteen years earlier in Iraq on his twentieth birthday when an attack in Baghdad left 17 dead and more than a hundred wounded in a bomb explosion that ripped through a building. He had been just a few years younger than Joe at the time and the two boys had shared many memorable hours playing together up here when they were youngsters before drifting apart as they aged and became immersed in different interests with the McPherson boy finding some trouble in the wrong crowd which led to the ultimate decision to enter the military in a self-imposed attempt to straighten himself out.

Thomas had always found peace with the ducks, too.

"I didn't know that Tom and Lillian had lost a child," Eva finally commented after a long and uncomfortable silence as a light gust of wind whipped across the water and sent the birds bouncing around in circles for a second. "They seem so happy and… perfect in this place," she sighed. "I don't know how they… or how you moved on," she admitted in a broken choking whisper. Despite her apparent coldness to everyone else, Eva had managed to develop a rapport with Frank in that she was able to speak candidly to him at least as he never seemed to react out of bounds with her, even when she was forthcoming with her feelings about his own son or the Reagan family's chosen profession.

"Well you don't," Frank admitted as he took off his sunglasses to wipe them clean with a handkerchief before replacing them and continuing to look ahead. "Except in some ways you have to… just like when you lose a spouse."

"Edit would have you believe that I am not capable of doing that," Eva admitted as her resolve started to soften and crack just a bit as she confided in him. "Perhaps she's right. Her father and I, we were only worried about giving her the best and look where it's gotten us," she said, shaking her head. "I've stayed angry at him all this time for what he took from us and now I've lost them both."

"I don't believe that," Frank comforted her. "Eddie has too much love in her heart for you," he insisted. "Mary and I, we only ever wanted the best for Jamie as well and we made many mistakes along the way with him too. A few months ago when the shooting occurred… I could have lost him over a decision made years before... just as sure as if that man had taken him from me with a bullet. No one is perfect, Eva. We all struggle as parents and partners. Sometimes we do the wrong things for the right reasons," he advised while thinking about the continued strife with his once loyal DCPI before sitting forward and leaning his elbow on his knee while turning to her for emphasis and adding...

"Now missing your daughter's wedding tomorrow… that would just plain be wrong."

"You don't have to tell me that, Frank," Eva did manage to snipe back as she became defensive once more. "Edit was pretty clear though with her feelings on what I have a right to think."

"Well what they do is their choice and we need to respect it."

"Respect?" she scoffed. "I was told that I no longer deserve that either."

"Well, sometimes we get what we give," he replied point-blank with a bob of his head as he returned that barb, determined to do his best to be sensitive, but he wasn't in the mood to sugar-coat everything either. "Not that he needs it, but Jamie does have my approval on this marriage," Frank continued to push the subject as he sat back and faced forward once more. "You know, you've raised a wonderful daughter. I've come to love her like one of my own. She's brave, kind and caring, compassionate, smart and funny and very strong willed. You should be proud of the woman she is right now. She's an excellent police officer, wife and mother. She is who she is, and that's pretty damn special in my opinion."

"Frank, I do not have anything against your son, except for the lifestyle he and Edit share and the fact that they are willing to take these risks and put so many others before themselves. I never wanted her involved in this kind of work. Putting that uniform on makes them a target and it frightens me… that's what I do not approve of," she admitted. "She's the only thing I have left."

"Yes, their job can be dangerous, but no more so than many other things we take for granted. At any moment one of us might be struck down by illness or fortune," he offered back. "Your plane could crash, another could have cancer and be told they only have a few weeks remaining like Mary… someone could step out in front of a car and their life could be changed in an instant. If you continue to cling onto only one thing, then it will be all you have. If instead you would open yourself up a little you'd realize that after tomorrow you will be more than just somebody's mother… you will be a grandmother, excuse me _Nagyanya_ , to at least one very special grandchild," he corrected as he smiled at Kaylin's insistence at the use of that preferred term for Eva. "And if my father has his way, there will be more in the future. Plus with a pretty terrific new son in my opinion comes a whole slew of in-laws to keep you entertained whenever you visit. You are not losing Edit, you are gaining a whole extended family… one that would be happy to welcome you to a little girl's birthday party tonight and a big celebration tomorrow."

"Even after what I said?" Eva asked in disbelief. "You would still have me?"

"Oh, that," Frank laughed as he continued to look out over the water. "We've seen and heard worse. Ask your daughter about some of our Sunday dinners, or better yet come and see a few more yourself. The one you were at was tame by comparison. We all have quick Irish tempers, but that part of it… being able to speak our minds in front of the family… it's what gets us through even the worst things. As my father would say Reagans are passionate… we punch walls, we throw a few back, we howl at the moon, but when it's over… it's over. Maybe Eddie has picked up on that these past months she's been with us. She's certainly become much stronger and confident over the past year."

"Perhaps you're right, Frank," she admitted with just a hint of returning warmth. "The Jankos are also known to possess strong tempers of our own... that could be why she fits in so well with your family. Thank you for that. I just wish I could be sure she'll have me..."

"Well, there's only one way to find out. I'm pretty positive she will, and I'm hardly ever wrong about things like that. I'll even bet you a steak dinner on it. Now let's go enjoy the rest of our evening and spoil that granddaughter of ours before we turn around one day and she's old enough to be walking down that aisle herself."

* * *

 _And there you have it, Frank was able to work some of his trademark magic to at least get Eva to bend enough to be present and now almost everyone is back in the fold except a lowly DCPI who maybe needs some more time. I know everyone is excited for the ceremony, but first we will have some tearjerkers while our wedding party is getting ready as a few mommy issues still need to be sorted out and resolved before the big event._


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52

Jamie was laying on the bed in his old room at 12:52 in the early hours that morning propped up on three pillows while dressed in a comfortable pair of sweatpants and an old faded Harvard tee, eyes wide open and hands crossed behind his head with just the small table lamp on to offer light. It was the first whole night in many months that he had spent away from both Eddie and Kaylin since the whole Quinlan drama had played out... aside from the times one or the other had spent on graveyard shift at their respective precincts of course. The raucous laughter and untold number of stories that had echoed through the family house all evening finally subsided as a combination of good food and drink took its toll on the Reagan men and their guest Spencer who had provided much of the comedic relief himself as he recounted the many adventures from Jamie's life at Harvard that had been held in private to that point.

Still it was no surprise when a soft knock was heard at the door at this late hour and his old roommate poked his head in with an ever-present smile. Spencer had always been a night owl, and that particular trait had proven to be a godsend, or rather a lifesaver in his second year… that semester after Mary had passed.

"Saw the light… thought you might need something for your nerves," he offered in a familiar way as he came in with half a bottle of Jameson Whiskey. "We could polish this off and sleep until noon. You knew that was my secret in school, right?" he kidded. "Every time I brought you a glass of milk before bed…"

"It was spiked with vodka, yeah I know. C'mon Spence… you made them so strong they tasted like White Russians after a while."

"You drank them."

"They were good," Jamie laughed. "Especially when I got you to add the chocolate coffee flavored syrup. Mmm hmm _yummy yum,"_ he mocked in Eddie's voice.

"Hey, it was my job to make sure you stayed put in bed, right?… Joe made that abundantly clear during that visit the day after you tried to make yourself a hood ornament. He put me up against the wall for letting it happen in the first place and intimidated the crap out of me, but I didn't know what the hell I was doing and he said he would be coming to live with us otherwise… so, it was either the booze or cuff you to the bed and that would have been kinda kinky. No more wandering off, and now that I've promised Eddie you'll show up on time tomorrow I'm sitting my butt right here by the door. She scares me more than your brothers," he admitted as he looked at the bottle in his hand with interest. "This is really good stuff you know… and that story about your mom and dad on Valentine's Day downstairs there by the fireplace…"

"Please, Spence," Jamie interrupted with a laugh. "I haven't done any sleepwalking in years and that is so _not_ the image I want in my head tonight, okay? No more to drink. Go to bed… I'm fine… really, just thinking."

"No doubts?" Spencer asked as he poured himself a glass anyway and slid down the wall to prop himself up on the floor for a talk like they did countless times before in their dorm room. "I mean I get that you and Officer Eddie are meant to be, but her mother…" he offered a low whistle.

"Part of the package I guess," Jamie smiled. "She only wings her way in from Rochester a couple of times a year. I can handle that. Look at what Eddie's walking into when she comes to one of our dinners every week… it's nine against one… well, eight and a half if you take Kaylin into account."

"That little girl?" his buddy laughed. "You're in so much trouble when she gets older, man. She just about had Uncle Spence talked into buying her a pony for her birthday this afternoon. And for the record, my money's still on Eddie," he observed as he savored another long sip. "You think she's gonna be okay after what happened at the rehearsal? I mean your Dad managed to bring Eva back to the party, but I don't know… I didn't get the feeling that the warm fuzzies came with her."

"Not sure those exist," Jamie admitted. "But when Eddie really needed her… that time when she thought I was... you know... well, Eva came through for her as a mom. She took care of her and Kaylin, and for that I'll always owe her… somewhere in there there's a soft side to Eva Janko and I think she actually wants to let it out but she's scared of being alone. Eddie took a big step today… standing up to her like that and letting her know she's not going to put up with it anymore… maybe that will bring it out of her."

"Leave it to you, Jamers… always trying to find the best in people."

"Easy for me to say sitting here," Jamie smirked. "Good thing you had a hold of me in church though or we might have been having this discussion somewhere else. You've always been there for me when I needed you, Spence. I wish we got to see each other more often, but I'm really glad you're standing up with me tomorrow."

"Yeah, well if you hadn't bagged on that job in California…" Spencer chided. "I told Matterson you wouldn't show… no way were you leaving the family business I said, but he's happy to have you signed as a consultant, anyway."

"I was coming… hand to God," Jamie admitted with a small laugh. "I know you don't believe me but seeing something threaten your child… it puts things in perspective. If Eddie had been at the airport that morning and willing to go… I don't think I would have looked back and stayed. I was honestly ready to run after everything that happened, and I'll do whatever I have to to keep them safe and take care of them from now on."

"Well, my friend… I'm glad it worked out like it did even if it means I have to fly out to the East Coast a few times a year to visit. Here with your family, doing what you are doing… this is where you belong. Good night Jamers, and get some sleep. You want to look good tomorrow… remember memories fade, pictures are forever."

"I will... 'night, Spence."

###

"Oh, Eddie, this dress is perfect," Erin cooed as she examined the freshly steamed garment hanging behind her soon-to-be sister-in-law as the stylist was finishing a beautiful updo with Eddie's now-curled long tresses… a soft sweeping smooth part in the front blending into an intricately twisted chignon with a symmetrical wrap-around bridal braid set off with a vintage silver pin and framed with sweet face tendrils which were echoed in front of Kaylin's frilly curly pigtails. "And Jodi, their hair is beautiful! My gosh, Jamie won't be able to take his eyes off of either of you!"

"Thanks, Erin," Eddie smiled as she took a deep breath and looked in the hand mirror provided to admire the details before the stylist took her leave to go across the hall and finish up with Hailey, Kara and Nicki whose short locks were quickly tamed and she elected to go check out the church while the rest of the girls were being attended to. "I can't believe it's really happening today! In just a few hours I'll be married and be Mrs. Edit Katalin it's-about-time-I'm-a Reagan," she laughed. "Wonder what he'll start calling me after that."

"Oh, you know Jamie… he'll come up with something," Linda added with a smile as she likewise came in to admire the preparations. "Lillian sent me to tell you that everything is running perfectly on schedule. The florist is nearly done with the church and hall and the photographer will be ready for pictures with you and the bridesmaids in the garden in about forty-five minutes, plus she's made sure Frank has the men just about ready to leave the house."

"She was such a godsend in all of this," Eddie admitted. "I barely had to worry about anything and it's all come out so… perfect," she added with just a touch of a sad smile. "Almost," she whispered.

"Everything's gonna be fine," Erin assured, knowing that the only remaining angst was over Eva who had arrived early already dressed to the nines in a beautiful silver-colored sheath scoop-neck floor-length lace mother's gown with beading and a wrap jacket, complete with her trademark heels. To this point she had occupied herself by supervising the setup in a remarkably quiet fashion as promised the night before at the dinner, but she had yet to sit down and have a true heart-to-heart with her daughter after their blow up from the day before. "Once she sees you in the dress with your hair all up and the flowers, she's just gonna melt," she promised.

It was not lost on anyone in the room that might be an overly optimistic statement.

"Erin is right," Linda assured anyway. "Now let's get you in this beautiful dress. Is there anything else we can help you with?"

"Would you mind trying to put Kaylin in hers? Everything is over there in that bag," Eddie asked as the little girl was happily buzzing back and forth between the rooms, chattering away and reveling in all the attention being paid to her. "I was hoping she would take a nap at some point this afternoon but she's just being too nosy. Hopefully she doesn't decide to crash in the middle of the ceremony now."

"Well if he has to, Dad will take care of that," Erin laughed as she knew her father had a special gift with sleepy children and would be the first to scoop Kaylin up if necessary.

Just twenty minutes later everyone was dressed and Hailey and Kara were fussing over last-minute adjustments to Eddie's makeup and hair as they carefully set the veil and pinned it in place. It was at this point that Eva finally found the courage to approach the room, hoping at last to have a few private words with her daughter before the ceremony drew too close. The conversation within gave her pause though, and she hesitated outside the door.

"Okay, we have about a half hour before pictures," Linda reminded as she busied herself with details. She herself was dressed in a flattering cream-colored princess square neckline tea-length chiffon dress with a subdued ruffle. "What about the things she needs for good luck? What is it? Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue? Did we do that?"

"Linda, bless you for remembering!" Erin exclaimed. "Here Eddie, I have something for you. Dad sent it with me this morning when he heard you were doing photos in the garden beforehand." She reached in her bag and pulled out a clutch and opened it to reveal a beautiful delicate vintage silver wedding necklace with stunning sapphires. "You have lots of brand new things... now this is something old, borrowed, and blue," she said as she fastened it around Eddie's neck. It was breathtaking. "This was Mom's necklace," she explained as she teared up and she fingered the jewels while Eddie stared at the beautiful setting in the mirror. "Dad had this made for her when they were married, and it's been a tradition for all of us to have the bride wear it on our wedding day," her voice broke as she remembered. "This is the first wedding that Mom hasn't been here to be the one to put it on. She so would have loved this candlelight ceremony here in this old church… especially for Jamie... oh my God, her baby…" The tears were being unleashed freely now. "I hope you don't mind… it's our way of keeping her close."

"It's beautiful," Eddie choked out. "And such an honor… I know how important it is to have your mom with us today…" she sobbed too as her heart finally broke for her own mother who was present, but suddenly seemed to be more distant than one who had been lost. It was at that point unbeknownst to her that Eva walked away from the room in tears herself with heavy regret before her presence was noted.

"Oh my gosh Erin," Linda exclaimed. "Please don't do this yet, you're getting us all started now. It's going to be bad enough when Jamie sees Eddie in this..." But it was too late, there wasn't a dry eye left in the room and a flurry of last minute makeup touch ups were needed before Hailey and Kara decided that Eddie needed some air and escorted her and Kaylin down to the gazebo in the garden to try to get her to relax before the photographer was ready for them.

###

Meanwhile in Bay Ridge, last minute chaotic preparations were also under way as five men and two boys finished stuffing themselves into classic black cutaway coats with vests and striped ascots over white pleat wing collar shirts after an enormous morning and afternoon-long brunch repast had been consumed, the exception being Danny and Jamie who had just returned from the gun range… the older Reagan brother having been anxious to point out just how badly his little brother's hands might be shaking by this time, and yet thoroughly disappointed in the end when the resulting competition had been declared too close to call. There was a very good reason behind his own display of nerves although he had been unwilling to share that with anyone else… determined to in no way steal the thunder from his little brother and Eddie on their day while he quietly went about some business he had been plotting for months now. Downstairs a temporary moment of bickering panic ensued when Jack and Sean mixed up some of their items which resulted in a typical brotherly argument over such a thing but Henry quickly sorted them out, knowing that Frank had been nervously waiting for his sons' return so that he might have a last minute word with Jamie.

"You just about ready to go?" Frank asked as he approached Jamie's room and found his youngest struggling to attach a set of whale back cufflinks with a set of hands that did have a distinctive bit of shake to them now. "The limo should be here any moment and Lillian is already tracking us," he laughed. "Nothing will run off schedule with that woman."

"Soon as I get these damn things through the right hole I'll be fine, just need my jacket," Jamie grumped as he fought with the stiff cuffs of the dress shirt before sighing in frustration and putting his wrists forward like a little boy. "Help me?"

"Of course," Frank smiled as he easily slipped the posts through the appropriate openings and flipped the backing straight to secure them. "There you go. Your mother used to do that for me all the time… I could never get my big fingers to work with that kind."

"I wish she was here," Jamie whispered softly as he turned to look at himself in the mirror, now a fully grown man but seeing instead a reflection of a little boy straightening out his tie and standing a little taller as he remembered the first time he had asked anyone out on a date… his mother Mary on a certain Valentine's Day when he was six and his father had been detained at the precinct working on a missing child case. "Momma, may I have the pweasure… pweasure..." he started as he stood before her dressed in his very best Sunday suit with his hair slicked back with Danny's gel, a generous portion of his father's aftershave sprinkled on and a bouquet of dried flowers he had pilfered from a vase in the upstairs hall.

"Pleasure," she had corrected for him with her eyes shining.

"...pleasure of your company," he'd finished. "Please Momma, can you wear your dress and come with me to dinner?" he spilled out. "I don't want you to be sad."

"Careful not to wrinkle your suit, Jamison," she had replied after saying yes and agreeing to let him buy her cheesecake at Miller's Diner with a fist full of bills and coins he had managed to shake loose out of his piggy bank. "A man should always look his best when he asks a lady out to dinner."

"I miss her," he choked out in the present.

"I know," Frank managed softly as his eyes misted up and his own throat threatened to close off in grief as he put his hand on his son's shoulder… a child anyone would be proud to call their own, but Jamie was truly a reflection of his mother in nearly every way. In truth he felt the pain of Mary's loss each day, but at times like this when she was missing such a significant moment in her children's lives the hurt felt fresh and sharp once more.

"Jamie, I have something for you," he revealed as he pulled an ivory linen stationery envelope out of his breast pocket. "Before your mother passed, she left this letter to be opened today… one for you and one for your brother Joe," he hesitated, nervous to be bringing up that hurtful time once more after what they had been through a few months ago, but it was another promise he had made to Mary and vowed to keep. In reality, this was the second hardest delivery he had made; the matching envelope to this one was unopened and likewise tucked in the breast pocket of the dress blues Joe had been buried in. "She had one of the nurses take them down privately that afternoon before she accepted any more medication… when we knew time was short."

Jamie stared at the paper enclosure with his name neatly written on the front in an unfamiliar, but distinctly feminine handwriting and shook his head as his eyes welled up with tears until the image blurred and a heavy sigh and blink were forced to release them. "Joe's?" he managed as that second loss was also magnified. His brother had been engaged to Angela at that point and should have had his wedding day long ago had it not been for Sonny Malevsky and the rest of the Blue Templar.

"It's with him," Frank assured with a heavy heart. "And they are both with you today. Take as much time as you need son," he advised with a firm squeeze on Jamie's shoulder. "We'll all be waiting downstairs whenever you're ready to go," he added as he took his leave and quietly closed the door.

Jamie moved over to the bed to sit and steady himself with a few deep breaths before he dared to slip the envelope open and unfold the letter within.

 _To my dearest Jamison on his wedding day,_

 _From the moment you were born, I could not stop kissing your sweet little face. I would spend what seemed like hours just looking at the precious gift our Heavenly Father had blessed me with. You completed our family and made us whole even if your appearance caused us to reshuffle everything we thought was settled in our lives. Daniel, Erin and Joseph all bear their own talents and gifts and hold their own special places in my heart but you balance them in fair measure. As they are, you were and always will be the pride and the love of your mother._

 _So many memories are running through my mind at this time, and I will hold them all forever._

 _I'll never forget the day you fell from the top of the stairs at your grandparents' house. How old were you then? You had just started school. I can laugh now, but know that hearing your sister and brothers screaming your name with such fear in their voices over the phone when Grandma Betty called almost made my heart stop. I remember when the nurses finally let me hold you in my lap while you were still sleepy and you said just a few words… "momma, ice cream and sirens," so I knew you were fine. We all gained a few more gray hairs that day and it would certainly not be the last time you made my heart beat out of sorts because of your antics._

 _Other than that you were always such a good boy. I say it with a smile because you constantly told me, "Believe what you will mom," when you got older. I'd like to think it's still true although I am not naive enough to pretend there aren't things I probably would rather not hear about. Even so, everyone we met always had only good to say about you, and your father and I took great pride in that as we watched you on your journey._

 _I wonder about the woman you will take into your heart in marriage today, whether I have already spoken to her or not… but that does not matter to me. I know that I do not have to worry as you have always chosen well. I do pray that she has a sweet spirit, a loving countenance and a no nonsense personality to match your kind and mischievous nature. If so you were made for each other._

 _May God bless and keep the two of you. Though every marriage has its ups and downs, what your Grandmother taught me is true; the secret to success is falling in love over and over again, but always with the same person. Speak with respect even when you are angry with one another, and mark the times when things are easy without keeping a tally of when they are not. Cherish your children if you are so blessed, they are truly gifts from above._

 _The day I realized you were a man and not my precious little boy anymore, I cried. I know that was my own failing, and it was because I was afraid to let you go as I was all of your life. I never allowed myself to accept the thought that you would grow up and make your own way one day, or that it wasn't my place to protect you anymore. It wasn't fair to put my own selfish burdens down so harshly on you when I knew what was truly in your heart. What's worse is I held that notion so tightly, I'm sure now that I didn't give you time to prepare to say goodbye when mine was growing short. I'm so sorry my sweet Jamison for the pain that caused you; it is the biggest regret of my life._

 _I've long since taken wing and flown away, but know that I see what a fine, strong man you have become from above and the ache in my heart is easier to bear. No matter how far you go or where the tide takes you, I will always be here with love and pride in my soul, waiting for the day you are near once more… if only for a little while._

 _Light a candle for me today my handsome son, but promise no tears, only laughter and joy to share._

 _With all my love,_  
 _Mom_

* * *

 _Any sniffles? One down, one tough mother to go as Eddie and Eva also have their chance to put things right in the garden before the ceremony._


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 53

"Oh my gosh Mom! You _have_ to come see the inside of the church!… It's _so_ beautiful and they're almost ready to light the candles! The florist just finished!" Nicki gushed as she hurried back up the stairs to the second floor of the main house where Hailey and Kara had also dressed in their dark blue gowns that bordered on the edge of midnight with an amethyst hue in the shimmer. "I love the flowers that Eddie picked!… Our bouquets are waiting downstairs. Eileen and her assistant said they would be ready to do the photos with the bridesmaids down in the garden in a few minutes whenever Eddie's ready. She has all-white lilies and ours are deep purple and orange with light green and all different textures with these cute little button things... Lillian says they have eucalyptus, scabiosa stellata, yarrow and hyper… hypericum in them," she ticked off on her fingers. "I want the exact same thing when I get married!"

"Okay, well we are certainly _not_ having that conversation today!" Erin continued to sniff while she rolled her eyes a little and teared up again as she looked behind her in the mirror at Nicki's excited face and continued to adjust her own makeup. "You'll change your mind on that a million times between now and then and I can only handle the thought of marrying off one baby of the family at a time, please! I know I'm just going to bawl my eyes out the minute I see Jamie standing up there, I can't help it! This new waterproof mascara better live up to the hype!"

"The hall looks fantastic too, I just came back up with Eva… rust colored tablecloths with light gold plates and orange carnations, those little purple and green cabbages around black lanterns with white candles," Linda confirmed. "Such a beautiful color palette for a fall wedding. It almost makes me want to get married again," she laughed and then finished with a small sigh. "I won't have a girl to do this with so you'll have to share Nicki when the time comes."

"Well, there's always time to make one of your own," Erin added suggestively with a sly smile. It had been obvious to all in the past few months that Danny and Linda had been able to rekindle their relationship to a large degree which of course opened them back up to the normal family ribbing in that department.

"Bite your tongue, Erin Reagan," Linda tutted as she paused for a second at that thought before shaking her head and turning to look out the window down at the garden where Eddie was now sitting in the shady gazebo swing rocking Kaylin who was napping with her head on her lap while Hailey and Kara were leaning back up against the railings and standing ever present for moral support. Despite the apparent ceasefire offered by Eva when she returned with Frank to the rehearsal dinner the previous night, mother and daughter had yet to dispel all the tension between them and instead of addressing it the older woman had busied herself with the particulars of the venue while Eddie likewise ignored the strife and occupied herself with getting ready as the hairstylist had also just finished with everyone a short time ago.

"I think those days are long gone," she attempted to convince even as she felt a familiar sad twinge tugging at her heart. "But Pop's already taking bets on how soon we'll get the news that Kaylin will be expecting a new little brother or sister. I say Eddie's pregnant within the year… by their first anniversary at the latest. She mentioned once that she wanted her kids close in age."

"I took this Christmas," Nicki confessed as she reapplied her lipstick only to pause when the two older woman stopped to stare at her. "What? I'm nineteen! I know where babies come from! Besides Grandpa already has Valentine's Day!"

"Tell him to put me down for Thanksgiving," Erin snickered as she finished her look with a couple of spritzes of hairspray. "I have a feeling there will be some serious cuddling going on during the honeymoon… you know conserving body heat and all. Maybe that was part of his grand plan."

"I tried to warn her," Linda sighed. "Never let a Reagan man plan a vacation on his own. That's the last thing she needs to worry about right now though… I just wish she could work things out with her mom before the ceremony. I tried to get Eva to go talk to her now while they were sitting in the garden but I'm not sure she will… I think she's embarrassed about what happened yesterday and afraid she'll just upset Eddie again so as far as I know Henry will still be walking her down the aisle."

"Well at least she's here. Mom and I had our own ups and downs before my wedding," Erin admitted. "She thought I was too young to know what I wanted, and she was probably right about that, but she never made me feel like I wouldn't have her support."

"Mine wasn't thrilled that I was marrying a cop, but I didn't really care what she thought at the time… it's not like my family's ever been close. She was only ever concerned with my sister, anyway."

"Well my mom's not going to be like that, right?" Nicki asked impishly as she reached over and hugged Erin. "Just think, you were only two years older than I am right now when you married Dad."

"Again, take note of the ensuing disaster and remember I said Grandma Mary was right about me being too young to know what I wanted, but I don't regret any of it," she acknowledged as she embraced her daughter back. "You are the best thing I ever did with my life."

"Uh oh, incoming!" Linda gasped as she glanced out the window once more and spotted Eva walking with firm conviction on the path directly towards the gazebo. "Nicki, run downstairs and tell Lillian and the photographer to hold off on going out in the garden until it's clear. It looks like Eddie and Eva are going to need some space."

###

"Edit, may I have a word with you?" Eva Janko's voice rang out through the quiet garden air that had remained unspoiled for the most part aside from the twittering of birds and gentle squeak of the gazebo swing's chain. Hailey and Kara had departed a few minutes ago to give Eddie the space she needed to think while she slowly rocked Kaylin who had fallen asleep laying on the bench with her head on her mother's lap. The already beautifully dressed little flower girl was tired after a busy few days and had uncharacteristically soothed herself with her thumb in her mouth, providing a beautiful unscripted portrait of the bride and her daughter that the photographer had been frantically trying to capture undisturbed with her long lens after she spotted them, as the perfect backlighting and foliage behind the pair enhanced the dramatic shot and the resulting images would win several major awards to put Eileen Weiss Photography on the map.

But that's not what had been on Eddie's mind the last few minutes.

Instead as she was taking this quiet time to gather herself, her thoughts were not on her own imminent wedding to the love of her life which was really just a matter of a formal ceremony at this point, but rather what it would be like for Kaylin if she was so blessed years from now… about what kind of mother would see her through that special time. Would this now innocent little girl likewise be fingering a stunning old sapphire necklace meant to hold her grandmother's spirit close on that day, or would there be something else in its place as a symbol of her own missing mother? Eddie was not naive to the fact that both she and Jamie held a job that was dangerous or that so many other fates could come into play in the years between now and then. If she was indeed present that day when Kaylin would be nervously anticipating that first dance with her intended, what would their relationship be like? As a bride would she be anxiously glancing over at someone standing there with tears in her eyes as she encouraged her beautiful baby girl to take that next big step in her wonderful journey, or instead would there be tension running under everything as Kaylin prayed that her mother would not take it upon herself to ruin what should be the happiest day of her life to that point.

That would be determined by hundreds of thousands of moments like this, Eddie decided as she pushed the swing just a little harder… moments in the years ahead when she and this sleeping little girl would laugh, fight and cry together as all mothers and daughters do… when Kaylin would come home from school with a problem or a broken heart and try to play her daddy's girl card off and Eddie would have to remain firm, or when Jamie would get that protective look in his eye when his daughter came around with a boy he didn't like… or any boy for that matter knowing how he was, and Eddie would have to quiet him with a careful touch or word before he said or did something to cause strife. So many potential points in time of love and conflict… and Eddie was looking forward to each and every one of them. If that was so, where had things gone upside down for her and her own mother she pondered as she remembered many happy times from when she was younger… picnics at the beach and parties, vacations with her parents when they seemed to be in love before a gradual drift separated them and things grew colder as that light went out between the two, extinguished fully when news of his arrest proved to be the last straw.

"Edit," her mother tried to catch her attention again. "May I sit with you?" she pressed.

Eddie acknowledged her this time without a word and simply moved some of the fabric of her gown out of the way to make room until there they were… three generations sitting in the soft afternoon light of the gazebo, dressed to the nines and swinging slowly back and forth.

"You are simply beautiful today," Eva began in attempt to make an inroad.

"You too, Mom," Eddie offered in truth. Although likewise shorter in stature, her petite mother had always made a rather stunning figure with the classic model lines that she had failed to inherit.

"Yes, but I am not the one everyone should be looking at today," Eva reminded.

 _Well, let's hope not anyway,_ Eddie thought to herself without responding out loud while she considered her mother's propensity to seek out ways to be the center of attention in situations like this as she continued to keep a protective hand on Kaylin's back and paused to pull the little curled hair tendrils away from the front of her face so that they wouldn't tickle her awake just yet.

"She reminds me so very much of you, my lány," Eva admitted quietly with a small sniff as she looked over at the little sleeping blond girl. "I wish now that we could go back to that time, remember? You and I would spend two weeks down at the shore in the summer in that house off the point when you weren't much older... and you would wear yourself out chasing seagulls and the neighbor's little boys across the beach before we would go sit up on the porch in the shade and you would take a nap every afternoon just like that."

"You, me _and_ Dad," Eddie corrected her mother's attempt to rewrite history. "We all spent those vacations down there, and yes I remember how happy they were. So should you."

"Indeed," Eva agreed with a heavy sigh. "It is hard for me to admit sometimes, but your father and I… we did have some good years."

"It shouldn't be that way… hard I mean," Eddie replied. "Although it is for me too sometimes," she admitted honestly. "Before we were partners… I didn't want anything to do with Daddy anymore, but Jamie kept pestering me to go visit him, and then that time he was in the hospital after the fight in the prison last summer we were able to talk. It made it better… I was just so sure he was that bad person I'd spent the last however many years convincing myself he was, but I was wrong… he's still the same as he was before in a lot of ways and had done the right thing. I had to let go of being angry at him all the time," she hesitated before adding another revelation. "He called me this morning, you know. Daddy said congratulations, and he wished me a wonderful day," she choked as so far none of this had been offered by her mother who was sitting aside of her and not currently incarcerated and so shouldn't have such a pointed reason to hate cops or disapprove of her choices. "He said he was proud of me and he was sorry he wasn't here to walk me in. Imagine that, huh?" she poked at what she knew to be a hugely sore spot without fear.

"Edit Katalin Janko," her mother muttered as she pursed her lips and for once successfully fought an internal battle not to say something rude when her ex-husband was brought up in that manner. "I…" she started.

" _I've_ been sitting here thinking," Eddie interrupted as she refused to take a backseat in this conversation like so many wasted times before and renewed their even swinging motion with a firm push of her legs. "I've been thinking about Kaylin and what it will be like on her wedding day… about what kind of mother she will need for that… about what kind of mother I want to be for her whole life," she offered. "I can't imagine a reason big enough that I wouldn't be honored to stand up with her if Jamie couldn't... as long as she was marrying a good, kind person and was happy… and let's face it, the Reagans and I would have scared away any other type long before we got to that point," she offered with a small huff.

"So what you are saying is that you don't want to be a mother like me," Eva replied back with hurt evident in her voice.

"No, I'm saying I want to be a mom like you _can_ be," Eddie reiterated. "Like you really _were_ before all of this happened with Dad and you got bitter about everything… when we were happy. I know we always had some differences, but there's so much more to be thankful about. You're _here,_ Mom… Jamie and his family would give almost anything to have Mary with them today and yet you're willing to push it all away because you're afraid of losing something that's already gone. I'm not a little girl anymore and I'm not gonna be that daughter you can use as an excuse to stay angry at Dad. I don't like what he did, but I've made my peace and I'm ready to move on. I really wish you could do that too," she added as a few tears finally started to fall. "Kaylin doesn't have another grandmother… please, Mom, for her… be her Nagyanya. I want you to be my Anya, too… don't be alone anymore. I still love you, Mom."

"Edit Katalin Janko… soon-to-be-a Reagan," Eva sighed with her acceptance before ending with a small smile as she grasped her daughter's hand and nodded as her heart grew back three sizes that day. "I will try, my lány. I do so love you and this little one… I know that Jamison is the one for you, baby, and if that means I must accept the rest to make you happy, then I will. I cannot promise that I'll be perfect, but I must try… for my család… my family," she trailed off before adding the words that made Eddie's heart sing.

"Szeretlek, baby… I love you and I will be proud to stand with my beautiful daughter as she is married today."

* * *

 _Thank goodness, right? Again thanks to lawslave for her suggestions on the topic of that E vs. E chat. Eva Janko might just have a big opportunity in the next installment to prove herself to be the kind of mom her family will need including for a somewhat reluctant new son-in-law who could be in the market for some of her own special brand of tough love at that point. Next though, the big moment finally arrives!_


	54. Chapter 54

_To set the mood if you are so inclined, you can visit one of my daughter's (cello) favorite inspirational string quartet sites and listen to snipits of the music mentioned for the ceremony. Sagestringquartet (dot com) /soundvideo/_

Chapter 54

The string quartet was just starting to warm up after tuning their instruments in the alcove off the side of the church and the sound was wafting through the open doors when a stretch limo arrived in the front followed closely of course by a familiar SUV as Frank's immediate detail fanned out before five sharply dressed men and two handsome boys stepped into the afternoon sunshine. Most of the guests were still milling about outside as it was a glorious fall day and a rousing cheer went up from all as the male side of the wedding party made their first appearance. The crowd gathered was intended to be intimate, consisting of only the closest friends and family with very limited political attendees, but wound up still fairly sizeable considering Reagan's stance in the city. Tom McPherson soon appeared from inside and began doling out the light orange rose boutonnières to all the men in formalwear on his wife's strict orders.

"Well, it's about time," Eddie's former full-time partner and now Sergeant, Mark Wilson, greeted Jamie with a firm handshake as he was holding a little brown-haired boy in his arms and the pair were likewise dressed in the party's tux style since he and Jamie's former rookie George Mahoy had been volunteered to act as ushers. Kara's young son Brandon, now hanging out with his buddy "Policeman Mark" had originally been slated to be the ring bearer, but a late terrible three's propensity for balking in public and all-out temper tantrums caused his mother to be too nervous to allow for a possible ceremony stopper, so the plan was revised a few weeks ago to have Kaylin fly solo for the big event while her counterpart still dressed formally, but hung out with his dad in the pew and popped in for pictures whenever he was so inclined. Eddie was remarkably relaxed about things like that, especially with the little ones and she called the shots, so as long as the bride was happy, Jamie had no qualms with however she wanted to handle things so long as that ring ended up on her finger today and they were off on the trip of a lifetime late the following evening.

"It's not often I agree to get into one of these stiff suits, but I had to do it for Janko," Mark continued. "I was getting nervous you weren't going to show... you know I would have been forced to hunt you down, even if you are the PC's kid. If you think I could survive a tour in the car with her after something like that… well I just won't go there. I'd have to transfer out."

"I know," Jamie smiled with a twinkle in his eyes as he teased Brandon with a little fist pumping handshake and a pinch on the nose. "I'm glad you still have Eddie's back, but I'm here. Wouldn't dream of leaving her at the altar," he added as he straightened up. In truth, despite Lillian's strict attention to detail, the men were running a little late as it had taken some time for him to compose himself after reading his mother's letter… a situation that had been communicated ahead to avert any panic, but he was at peace now and feeling oddly calm. As Eddie had implied before, they were already married in their hearts and it was just the matter of this formal ceremony to make it official.

"Harvard, you dog!" Renzulli exclaimed as he was next in line as they walked the gauntlet and he grabbed Jamie by the back of the neck. "Took ya long enough to get here! Didn't I just give you a watch yesterday? Knowin' the time is important when you're married too or you'll find yourself locked out of the house with the cat! I thought I taught you better than that. You know how to use one of those old-time ones, right?"

"Got it right here," Jamie admitted with a grin as he tapped his pocket. "Thanks again."

"Well, now you've got my missus all nervous and teary-eyed already and that was just from her waiting for you to show and looking around inside at the flowers. Wait until the music starts and she sees Kaylin and Eddie! We're gonna need a mop for the floor. Adele gets herself all worked up at these things. Congratulations, kid!"

Just as he stepped away from his former TO, the first strains of the quartet's prelude began to emanate from the church and Jamie had to bite back a smile as he paused for a second to figure out what to do with the flower he had just been handed. Eddie refused to remain completely stuffy with the ceremony and had chosen a progressive foursome to add some fun to the proceedings to see how many of their guests were actually paying attention. In addition to the traditional wedding selections of Bach, Wagner and Handel, there were going to be contemporary pieces from Broadway, cinema, the Beatles and even Guns N' Roses. Indeed, the uptempo Firework by Katy Perry, one of Eddie's favorites, appeared to be starting everything off with a bit of a bang. There was even a little of the hated Queen planned later for a particular older brother, but that fact remained a closely guarded secret for now.

"Jamie! Jamie Reagan! Come over here! What are you doing with that, silly?! I'll help you! You're putting it on crooked!" an unmistakable shrill voice cut through the surrounding air as an effervescent petite brunette dragged her own apparent love over towards him by the arm and grabbed the boutonnière out of his hands as he fumbled with it. Addison Greene and George Mahoy had defied the odds and we're still going strong as the seemingly once mismatched couple were now just a few months shy of their own first year dating anniversary and Jamie had a feeling that his old protégé was getting set to pop the question himself soon. "You men are just helpless at this," she chided as she fixed them both up and paused to give Jamie a peck on the cheek as she brushed his shoulders off and straightened the knot in his tie. "There," she said with satisfaction as she pulled her phone out to take a picture of the two former partners together. "Now stand up straight and say 'pumpernickel!'..." she demanded as they obediently posed with big smiles. "Angie and my parents send their love. Baby Michael is still too much of a handful to travel with or they would have been here to see this," she kidded. "Little Jamie Reagan's getting married today," came the friendly mocking sing-song voice as she sent out the promised text to her family in Seattle.

"You look beautiful, Addie... so glad you came," Jamie smirked as he returned the favor and hoped that his future mother-in-law was nowhere near to spot them, although he had found it amusing when Eddie had revealed Eva's seeming obsession with his former short-term girlfriend. At least from all reports it seemed that mother and daughter had resolved their differences and the procession down the aisle appeared to be back to the original plan which was a great relief to all. "And George, you're looking sharp there, man! Thanks for helping us out today, but you know how women get when they see you in formalwear… good luck with that," he kidded as he leaned in for a final whisper which was purposefully loud enough for another to hear. "Lillian takes reservations a year in advance here unless you're special like me."

"Gee, thanks, Sarge," George acknowledged with a warm smile as he took Addie's arm proudly once more and she gave him a knowing squeeze, the poor ex-rookie and now key CompStat man was toast and he knew it. "I'll keep that in mind. Good to see you still have my back."

"Anytime," Jamie grinned as Spencer walked up on an obvious mission to move the proceedings along.

"Alright Jamers, c'mon now," he prodded with a smile as he pried the groom away from the other well wishers and pushed him towards the front doors of the church. "Clear a path people… enough stalling. The boss says it's time to get him inside so the guests can be seated and the girls can come down from the house. Can't let you see that beautiful bride before her big moment and spoil everything… I'll get fired then probably tossed in a lockup somewhere and I have a garter to catch at the reception tonight. Here we go… let's get a move on it..."

"Jamie, wait!" Erin called as she and Linda were hurrying up the path to perform a promised final check of the Reagan men before the ceremony. "Hands off, Croft!" she ordered as Spencer obediently relinquished his hold with his arms in the air before she stopped short to tilt her head and listen to the latest melody emanating from the musicians within. "Isn't that from Cats?" she asked as the show tune 'Memory' was being played with particular vigor.

"For Bear," Jamie snickered. "He's part of the family. Kaylin insisted that he was invited and cried when we told her he couldn't come so Eddie had them add some stuff throughout the day for her."

"Oh, little brother… you are such a good daddy," his sister sighed with a smug smile as she straightened his already perfectly placed boutonnière and tie before brushing his shoulders off once more and resting her forehead against his and staring him straight in the eyes. "I'm glad you're having fun today. You are right?" she asked. "I mean you're gonna be okay up there?"

"I'm gonna be _fine,"_ he assured. "I promise. I love you, sis, but we've gotta get things rolling here. I can't mess this up. We're supposed to be inside already."

"Alright," she sniffled as she still refused to let him go as she held onto his arms. "I know I'm not the best one to ask, but if Mom were here she would tell you… you know, to remember that every marriage has its ups and downs, and what Grandma said is true…"

"That the secret to success is falling in love over and over again, but always with the same person," he finished for her with a soft smirk. "I know; she told me herself today," he assured as he slipped the envelope out of his breast pocket where it would be kept close to his heart just to show her.

"Oh, Jamie!" she sobbed as she read it and then wrapped her arms around him even tighter and refused to let him go. Spencer just rolled his eyes as he watched from a distance and looked around for help. They weren't any closer to getting the groom inside and half the guests had already been seated. The last thing he wanted to see was Lillian coming down the path and shaking her finger at him.

"C'mon, Erin… turn off the waterworks and let the kid go before you get him started again," Danny called as Linda was likewise giving her husband and the boys the final once over. Besides, I'm getting hungry!" he deflected as he fingered a small object in his pocket. Things needed to move along now or they would lose the light for pictures at the end, especially since he had his own little encore planned. "Dad! You better get over there and pull her off of him!" he admonished as Frank and Henry began knowingly to make their way towards them.

"Okay, sweetheart," Frank sighed as he came over to claim his daughter and he slipped his arm in hers to ground her. "Erin, it's time to let him go now. I'll tell you the same thing I said to Eva, you're not losing a brother today, you're gaining a sister and some entertaining new in-laws," he paused as he finally managed to separate her. "You ready, son?" he asked as his eyes fell on his youngest and he put a big hand on his shoulder.

"Now or never, right?" Jamie huffed with a smile as Henry likewise offered his congratulations and clapped his grandson proudly on the back. "Let's do this."

Finally everything was set after one final brief pause to light four special candles for those who were present in spirit only, and according to Lillian's well-scripted plan the groomsmen entered in tongue-in-cheek fashion as the quartet played their last non-secular sort of piece before the ceremony began and Jamie, Spencer, Danny, Jack and Sean were presented with an enthusiastic violin and cello dueling rendition of "Throne Room" from Star Wars which caused Eddie to laugh out loud as the girls had finally been permitted safely to make their way down the path from the main house and were now gathered in order at the top of the steps out in front of the church.

After a moment to settle the guests, the lights dimmed to enhance the mood of the candlelit sanctuary, and the first strains of Mary and Grandma Betty's shared favorite of Schubert's arrangement of "Ave Maria" began to play as Henry turned around to give Eddie a kiss on the cheek and a whisper of "Welcome to the family, sweetheart," before proudly taking Linda's arm as the pair entered. Danny's eyes lit up as he watched the love of his life walk down the aisle on his grandfather's arm in her lovely cream-colored chiffon dress and it brought back all the memories from their own day so many years ago… something that he hoped to recapture a little with some help once again. As if he needed to be reminded of just how far back in time that was, Jack nudged him from behind and offered a "Mom looks hot!" in a not-so-subtle teenaged boy kind of whisper while Sean's animated snickers at his brother's comment just served to further cause his father grief. Danny tried his best to hold it together before Father McMurray tutted at his former reluctant altar server with a frown and Jamie leaned forward to shoot them all the evil eye as they struggled to settle themselves while Henry and Linda took their seats.

Next it was Frank and Erin's turn to grace the aisle after he likewise welcomed his soon-to-be daughter-in-law with a hug and kiss before father and daughter walked in together arm-in-arm to knowing looks and even a few small good-hearted cheers and low whistles from his staff. Except for the height difference, Erin Reagan was the spitting image of her mother and it tugged on many hearts to see her accompany her father in Mary's place. She was wearing a stunning floor length grape-colored trumpet v-neck chiffon evening dress with ruffle beading to go with the fall theme and Frank offered a wide, proud smile and a nod to Jamie as he escorted her to their seats.

The atmosphere in the room changed to a nervous swell as the music now seamlessly switched to the classic version of Pachelbel's Canon in D and the back doors opened once more to reveal a smiling Nicki marching in slow procession with the beat... the beautiful oranges, purples and greens in her bouquet offset against the dark blue of her gown which of course just set Erin off to sniffling again as Frank shook his head. This was the best part of the day for him… seeing all of his children and grandchildren dressed to the nines and happy before him as they welcomed another kindred spirit into their family, and his heart was swelling with pride at the sight even though there were always a few important souls missing. _Surely they were here on this day in this place though,_ he thought as he watched Kara and then Hailey following suit. All the available cameras were poised to capture the next moment though, and a certain tiny blond-haired girl who herself was new to the family did not disappoint as if she ever could… although as always she offered herself in a unique fashion.

The quartet once again chose to insert a little levity into the proceedings as an off-scripted blended version of "Sweet Child O' Mine" played softly in the background while Kaylin was prompted to make her trip down the aisle since a slow song would have never complimented her energy. Jamie's eyes lit up with tears of their own as he watched the little one at first balk just a tiny bit as she took in all the stranger faces looking back at her before Lillian kneeled down and whispered in her ear and pointed down the way so that she focused on a few she knew well. At that point she was off... at first obediently flinging her soft flower petals out of the basket with exuberance along the way to many smiles before stopping once more halfway down as she spotted a familiar friend. Kara's little boy Brandon was in his father's arms and waving at her from the end of the pew with a giggle, prompting Kaylin to take a segue mid-processional to go over to see him. They were after all good playtime buddies, besides Brandon was supposed to be walking in with her... and she had not forgotten that point.

"C'mon Branny, _p'ease!"_ she offered in a fierce whisper that the whole quiet room could hear. "We _hav'ta_ get married today!" she admonished while she tugged at his hand as Matt Walsh kneeled down so the two preschoolers could see eye-to-eye. Unfortunately her pleas were for naught as Brandon bashfully shook his head and turned and buried his face in his father's shoulder as Kaylin was left at the altar for what everyone hoped would be the only time in her life. The beautifully dressed little girl turned and huffed at the refusal… following the pedal flinging protocol for a few more steps before abandoning her basket next to Renzulli and his wife Adele and running the rest of the way to the front with tears. Jamie scooped her up for what would surely not be the last time in the next few years that those daddy services would be required as she sobbed on his shoulder because a boy broke her heart.

"It's okay, baby," he grinned as he tried to console her while the rest of the wedding party and guests struggled to hold back the laughter and tears themselves at her expense… three-year-olds and formal occasions were always a dangerous mix but despite the breaks in procedure, the memories that were being made today were priceless and the family would not have wanted it any other way... well except for the part about the ache of the nuptial rejection. Luckily for Brandon all was forgiven quickly at this age or he would have had a pack of displeased Reagan men waiting for him outside although Uncle Danny had already made a mental note to keep an eye on this Walsh kid in the future.

"Sweetness, look it's time for Mommy to come in… let's see if she's as pretty as you are," Jamie attempted the distraction route as he continued to hold Kaylin and shifted her around to see. She was still sniffling pitifully but her curiosity was peaked and a wave from the groom let the musicians know that it was okay to proceed with the big moment even though he was still occupied with the little one. They did not have long to wait as the familiar strains of Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" resounded through the space and Father McMurray began with his appointed "If everyone will please rise."

As he did so the back doors opened a final time to reveal Edit Katalin Janko in her stunning vintage lace wedding dress with a sweetheart neckline, cap sleeves and a low v-back with a court train as she stood proudly on her mother's arm and flashed a nervous smile about until she saw Jamie standing ahead with Kaylin and she beamed in pride while his jaw dropped open in utter amazement. In deference to his grandmother's wishes he fell in love with her all over again in that instant.

"Ready, Mom?" Eddie asked as it was time to start down the aisle and she gave Eva a little tug before an uneasy wave rippled through the attendance as her mother steadfastly refused to move forward once more. "Mom? Please?"

* * *

 _My apologies on this one, I really had no intentions of allowing for another bit of a cliffy here, but this chapter got insanely long as I went into more details with the ceremony than in "Follow Your Heart" and there is an added surprise afterwards that I don't want to gyp. So I will take the pressure off and tell you that Eddie and Eva will eventually make their way down the aisle together, but I'll let you hang on mommazilla's reasoning for the delay until tomorrow. Next, Jamie and Eddie will finally say their "I do's" and a certain someone will be forced to reveal exactly where they will be winging their way off to for a romantic honeymoon trip alone. Any guesses? Last chance!_

 _Plus *spoiler alert* Daniel Reagan might just have one last trick up his sleeve in his effort to close out that scrapbook._


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 55

" _Ready, Mom?" Eddie asked as it was time to start down the aisle and she gave Eva a little tug before an uneasy wave rippled through the attendance as her mother steadfastly refused to move forward once more. "Mom? Please?"_

"Edit, wait," Eva Janko murmured as Eddie plus the entire wedding party and Reagan family gasped softly in unison and braced themselves for a second round of that particular handbasket of hell before her mother smiled. "Don't rush, my lány… You are a lady now and must show that… breathe in, stand straight and gather yourself. Enjoy this. Always be sure to make an entrance. Stay here and let them look at you… you are so very beautiful and they must all have time to see. Today is your day and I am so very proud of you as my daughter, but promise me you'll always be willing to call yourself a Janko even as that part of your name goes away. I wish the best for you and Jamison… I do. You will have a wonderful life together as long as you stay true to yourself… remember who you are and where you came from, my baby. Never be afraid of that."

"Oh, Mom," Eddie cried in relief. "I will always be a Janko, and I love you too…" she promised as she kissed her and squeezed her mother's hand. "And I'm so very glad you're here with me today."

"Indeed," Eva nodded as she turned to the front and stood tall in her signature six-inch heels. "Now we are ready."

Eddie and Eva's trip down the aisle was much smoother this time as they nodded and smiled to the guests on the way, although Eddie really only had eyes for her two greatest loves as they remained standing together at the end of the way and the bride held no reserve about that once dreaded handoff as she and her mother came to a halt at the end. Jamie was so focused on her as she stood before him looking radiant in a beautiful gown and crowned with the added touch of his mother's beautiful sapphire necklace that he barely heard the priest's words as the ceremony began or realized that he was still holding Kaylin in his arms as they started.

Father McMurray smiled at the young couple and their obviously well-loved adopted daughter before him, careful to remember Eddie's requested change to the program. "Today, as we join Edit Katalin and Jamison Henry in marriage, we celebrate with them as they begin a new family together with Kaylin Elizabeth. Yet we also know that this new branch of the tree will be strengthened and enriched by the love, traditions, and knowledge of their roots," he started as Eddie paused to kiss and hug her mother before stepping up to face Jamie and Kaylin in front of the altar and she joined right hands with him as the little girl leaned forward to mimic her actions and also offer a sweet kiss on Eddie's nose before the Father continued as the three remained together.

"Will you Eva Janko and Francis Reagan bless Edit and Jamison in their marriage? Will you celebrate them in their times of joy and bolster them and their marriage in times of hardship?"

"We will," came the united reply from both as Frank stepped from his position in the pew next to the aisle and took Eva's hand to accompany her to the right as they walked up to light the two separate tapers aside of the unity candle together, with careful attention paid of course to Lillian's prior instructions to face the wedding guests and the photographer as much as possible.

Father McMurray continued after they returned to their seats. "Family and friends gathered here today, will you help guide this couple and bless this union?"

"We will," came the strong reply from everyone in attendance as Jamie and Eddie's eyes remained locked on one another, unwilling to focus on anything else.

"Edit and Jamison have requested a special blessing of the hands for their ceremony today," the priest continued as Hailey reached for Eddie's bouquet and she and Kara carefully took a moment to arrange the train before the Father continued while Kaylin remained seated on Jamie's hip as he and Eddie took each other's hands together in front of them and the little girl reached forward and put her own on top of theirs as they were blessed with holy water and crosses of anointing oil.

"These are the hands of your partner," Father McMurray advised as he began. "They are young and strong and full of love. You will hold these hands as you promise yourselves to each other today, tomorrow, and forever. These are the hands that will work alongside yours as together you build your future. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other. These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy. These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children… and grandchildren," he added as he smiled at Kaylin's continued determination to be included. "These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one. These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it. And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch."

The more traditional schedule of the Catholic Wedding Mass continued from there as the assembly was seated for the Liturgy of the Word and the First and Second Readings offered by Erin and Linda followed by the Gospel and Homily as Father McMurray spoke about the mystery of marriage, the dignity of wedded love, the grace of the sacrament and the responsibilities of married people, while keeping in mind the circumstances of this particular marriage and the family's obvious dedication to service.

Soon it was time for the Rite of Marriage and Eddie and Jamie once again joined hands in front of the altar as the rest of the assembly stood and Kaylin was gently convinced to return to her proper dot on the stairs in front of Hailey and Kara.

Father McMurray began, "My dear friends, you have come together in this church so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of the Church's minister and this community. Christ abundantly blesses this love. He has already consecrated you in baptism and now he enriches and strengthens you by a special sacrament so that you may assume the duties of marriage in mutual and lasting fidelity. And so, in the presence of the Church, I ask you to state your intentions."

"Edit and Jamison, have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?"

"We have," was answered in unison as two pairs of bright eyes regarded one another with excitement although their hearts were already bonded.

"Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?"

"We will."

"Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

"We will."

"Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church. Look at one another and remember this moment for after these vows, you shall say to the world, this my husband and this my wife. Jamison, you may have the honor..."

Jamie blew out a small nervous breath as he gave that trademark sideways grin and shook his head in wonder at the moment before he began with the words etched in his heart from the vows they had written together.

"Edit Katalin, you are my best friend and my greatest love. Your beautiful smile lights up our days together, and I feel so lucky and grateful that I'll be spending the rest of time together with you and our family. You've taught me that through love, empathy and dedication, two strong individuals can join together in an even stronger union. Today, I choose to spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to love you for who you are, and for who you are yet to become. I promise to be patient, and to remember that all things between us are rooted in love. I promise to share my whole heart with you, and to remember to show you how deeply I care for you, no matter the challenges that may come our way. I promise to love you loyally and fiercely… as long as I shall live."

Despite the resolve she had shown through the rest of the ceremony, Eddie's emotions were running open now and she had to pause to compose herself before she was able to continue as her hands began to shake and he quickly closed his a little tighter to steady her.

"Jamison Reagan, are my best friend and my greatest love," she began as her voice cracked. "You have taught me that two people joined together with respect and trust and can be far stronger and happier than each could ever be alone. You are the strength I didn't know I needed, and the joy that I didn't know I lacked. Today, I choose to spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to love you for who you are, and for who you are yet to become. I promise to be patient, and to remember that all things between us are rooted in love. I promise to share my whole heart with you, and to remember to show you how deeply I care for you, no matter the challenges that may come our way. I promise to love you loyally and fiercely… as long as I shall live."

"You have declared your consent before the Church," Father McMurry advised. "May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your resolve and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide."

"Amen."

The pressure was on now for the Maid of Honor and Best Man as Hailey and Spencer stepped forward on either side and presented the rings to be blessed, with Jamie's former roommate taking great care not to drop his charge as he had been teased mercilessly for his effort during rehearsal which had resulted in the stand-in cigar ring provided by Frank taking a roll halfway down the aisle after slipping out of his hands. Thankfully this time he managed to perform his all-important duty without fail.

"Lord, bless and consecrate Edit and Jamison in their love for each other. May these rings be a symbol of true faith in each other and always remind them of their love. Through Christ our Lord."

"Amen."

Still not quite believing they were at this point already, and despite his earlier calm, Jamie felt his heart racing as he reached for the ring. "Eddie," he breathed as he placed the beautiful matching band on her finger to join the custom engagement setting with his mother's solitaire and grandmother's pendant stones. "Take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

Eddie's eyes were shining as she did the same, both slipping back into their more familiar names as the ceremony was drawing to a close and the soft music of Bach's "Jesu, Joy Of Man's Desiring" provided background. "Jamie, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride," the Father offered with a smile and a cheer went up from the assembly as Jamie grinned as he dipped Eddie back deeply and she laughed as she had to put a hand to her veil to keep it from falling off. Finally… what began years before on a sidewalk outside the precinct that night Jamie was expecting to be partnered with a sweaty fat Hungarian Edward instead of this little blond-haired firecracker and had seen them through as best friends for years before coming to this point… now everything had come full circle. The rest of the ceremony was just a blur until they received the final blessing and were presented once more to all with rousing applause as Mr. and Mrs. Jamison Reagan.

"Okay, now out with it," Eddie ordered as they stood hand in hand for photographs with glowing smiles after another obligatory kiss before gathering themselves as the recessional selection of Clarke's "Trumpet Voluntary" was cued up. She had not forgotten his promised reveal of the secret honeymoon getaway and was practically humming with excitement as she waited to hear what tropical beach they would be winging their way to. Her bags were all packed and waiting at the main house as a car was scheduled to take them to the Waldorf Astoria Hotel for the night and partial day of relaxation after the reception with an overnight flight to…? "You swore to me in this church!" she reminded as he just smiled back sheepishly and bit his lip. "No more secrets once it's official you said!"

"I did promise that, lambchop," he agreed with his eyes shining as he held her hand and brought it up to kiss her rings with a little tug as it was time to start down the aisle. "Remember you swore to me in this church that you would be happy no matter where we went as long as you got to wear those bikinis, right?"

"Jamison Reagan! I'm not budging off this step until you tell me! Now spill!" she ordered as she performed the now patented Janko balk while the amused Reagan family looked on as they were waiting with bated breath to see how this little announcement was going to pan out. All his life, Jamie had shared his father's obsession about a certain place with its historical ways and… well, a certain few wooden sailing boats...

"Okay, well then it's… um, it's Iceland, baby," he admitted in truth as Eddie quite aptly froze and then huffed off a laugh after a few seconds.

"Good one," she admonished with an over expressive roll of the eyes as she shook her head and remained firmly planted in place. "I guess I had that coming. Now where are we really going?" she demanded as their remaining guests began to wonder about the hold up as the quartet was now well past the first lines of the resounding music. "It better be warm because I have those swimsuits all packed and ready to go!"

"Edit Katalin _Reagan,"_ Jamie chided with emphasis on her new last name and another insistent tug as he tried to follow the ceremonial protocol and they were now holding the entire church at bay with her continued reticence. "I already told you… it's Iceland. We are taking an exotic hideaways tour. We fly overnight out of JFK to Keflavík Airport in Reykjavík tomorrow… it's only five and a half hours away. And then you get to try out those bikinis at the Blue Lagoon geothermal spa," he added suggestively as he nuzzled her with another kiss on the cheek in an effort to move the proceedings along. "At night we'll have champagne and chocolates from Iceland's finest chocolatier waiting for us at our hotel," he hyped, knowing that Eddie had a particular weakness for those two things.

"Seriously?" she remained rooted in shock with a now-fake smile plastered on her face as her questioning eyes became more convinced with every passing second that he was in fact telling the truth.

"Honey, would I lie to you now?" he asked as he finally got her feet moving and the recessional commenced as Kaylin once again ignored protocol and skipped down after them, tugging at Jamie's sleeve until he bent down and picked her up while the music trumpeted their exit. "I promise, sweetheart... it will be the trip of a lifetime!"

"To Iceland?"

"Just think, you and me baby… ten days and nine nights in Stykkishólmur… sailing on a wooden schooner to the Snæfellsnes Peninsula, visiting Snæfellsjökull National Park… walking through the glacier at Langjökull…" he rattled off in near perfect Nordic inflection which still appeared to go over her head.

"I'm sorry… where?"

###

"Well, we finally pulled it off, Francis," Henry stated as he stood back with pride as they watched while the photographer finished up with the final shots of the wedding party on the front steps of the church and the group began to break up as the remaining onlookers started to filter up the path towards the house and the reception area while the majority of the Reagan family lingered behind. "I told you that girl would be a Reagan last year when he first brought her around, didn't I? Guess our work is finished for a little while now."

"Yes, you were right again, Pop," Frank agreed knowing his father took great satisfaction in that and he waved to Kaylin as Jamie, Eddie and the little girl were headed up toward the duck pond with the main photographer for some private family shots with her favorite feathered friends while Eileen's assistant finished up with the remaining requested portraits for Danny's family and Erin and Nicki. "But, I don't think we're quite done here yet," he advised with a knowing nod as his oldest son was finally clear to set his own plan in motion.

Danny couldn't help but let a bigger nervous smile slip across his face as soon as the formal portrait was done. He had been determined not to steal any of the thunder from his little brother and Eddie on their big day, but there was something that he wanted to do privately with Linda and the rest of the family to finally finish that soon-to-be cherished scrapbook… a matching shot was needed for the very last spread, the one with the photo from their wedding that had fallen out of the box in Grandma Betty's house as a sign of what she expected… there was one last part that needed to be put to rest.

"Linda, honey… can I speak to you over here for a second?" he asked as he took her hand and led her over to the side next to the small all-season flower garden Lillian kept next to the church.

"What is it, Danny?" she asked with a happy lilt in her voice since this afternoon had already proven to be memorable as she watched with pride as her three "men" were turned out so handsomely. "We should really get back to the hall to see if they need any help setting up. The reception will be starting as soon as your brother comes back."

"There's something I want to do first," he admitted as he took a deep breath and slipped down to one knee in front of her while Nicki and Erin smiled from off to the side where the rest of the family were now gathered in a group and they turned Jack and Sean around to watch.

"Linda Bellis Reagan," Danny started, surprised himself at the emotion that was in his voice as it cracked while her hand came up over her mouth and her eyes welled up. "Almost twenty years ago, I kissed a beautiful girl on the corner of 10th Street and University Place, and my life was never the same. I knew I loved you that night... and I have known that I love you every night since, even when we were apart… my heart was always with you."

"Oh, Danny…" she cried as he continued.

"Would you do me the honor of renewing our vows in this church today, before God, Father McMurray and our family," he added as he pulled a lovely four stone white gold anniversary ring out of his coat... one he had purchased on a payment plan from Gillespie's Jewelers and had been fingering and twiddling with in his pocket all day in anticipation of this moment. "I love you so much Linda, now more than ever… I never want to let anything come between us again, and I want to show our boys what it means to hold to those vows even when there are bumps in the road along the way."

"Daniel Fitzgerald Reagan," Linda sighed as she fanned her hand in front of her face fighting to hold back the emotion. "It would be my honor to marry you again today, and I would do it every day of my life. I have fallen in love with you over and over since that first day we met and you will always have my heart."

"I couldn't hear… was that a yes?" Henry called out from the side of the courtyard which elicited laughs from everyone present. "It's about time Daniel, I thought you were going to let this chance get away. Better get a move on it then, boys and girls… we've got a big party to go to and another reason to celebrate!"

"Yes, sir," Danny laughed as he stood up and offered his wife a lingering kiss which garnered embarrassed grimaces from both of his sons before taking her hand and leading her back up the steps to the church as the rest of the family followed along for one more happy ceremony.

"Shouldn't we wait for Uncle Jamie and Eddie?" Nicki asked as they trailed behind.

"Jamie said to go ahead without them so you have enough time before the reception," Frank advised as Danny turned around at the top and gave his father a puzzled glance.

"Harvard knew what I was going to do? I didn't tell him."

"You forgot to tell Mr. Gillespie that it was a secret," his dad laughed. "He spilled the beans when your brother went to pick up their wedding bands. I think maybe Jamie has a surprise of his own planned for you."

"Huh, wonder what that could be?" Danny pondered as they made their way back into the church where Father McMurray was waiting just as the patient quartet members who had been advised by the groom of the need for their extended presence took up their instruments once more to offer a brilliant version of "Somebody to Love" from Joe's favored group Queen as a prelude.

"Oh, I love that song, don't you?!" Linda beamed. "It's perfect!"

"Little brother, you will pay for that someday," Danny muttered under his breath as he shook his head and led his wife down the aisle to reaffirm their commitment as they also promised once again to love each other loyally and fiercely… as long as they both shall live.

* * *

 _So did anyone guess Iceland? No? What could be better than a place with the Northern Lights on full display and filled with Icelandic oak fishing-boats such as the "Hilda" a two mast schooner which is a descendant of the first decked sailing vessels in north Iceland in the 19th century and available for day charter. Hmm? Sounded perfect to one or two certain wooden boat history buffs from Bay Ridge anyway, and what about Danny pulling off his own big surprise? I thought that would be a good way_ _finally to put_ _an end to that strife between him and Linda so they could move on as the couple we all used to know and love. Next, we'll finish this wedding day with some nice memories from the reception before our lovebirds take flight to that chilly North Atlantic destination._


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 56

The large hall off to the side of the main home on the estate was already buzzing in full swing with the cocktail hour by the time Frank and the rest of the family arrived after witnessing Danny and Linda's renewal ceremony which had been topped off by another dipping first kiss that left Jack and Sean squirming once more and the remaining Reagans chipping in to send the couple to a nice hotel in the city for a weekend alone together so they could recreate a few other things in privacy as well. For now though, Danny was content to head straight to the bar for something to settle his nerves after managing to pull off his grand plan in fine style while everyone else waited for Jamie and Eddie to make a reappearance.

Frank likewise indulged himself with a drink and found himself schmoozing through the crowd on autopilot as he had done at countless other affairs over the years, particularly since his rise to the Commissioner's office which often required appearances at such events. Tonight though he was not looking towards his normal wingman, DCPI Garrett Moore, for an excuse to leave early. It was in fact the absence of his once-trusted advisor that had him frowning as he glanced down at the table near the entrance to the hall and spotted the only unclaimed table setting card for Garrett and his wife Cynthia. Despite the months that had passed since Sam's death, Garrett had been unable or unwilling to put away his hurt over the situation and the fact that his stepson's case never received the justice it deserved, particularly after Quinlan's death in prison had left the investigation unofficially closed as there was no reason to suspect anyone else, yet no firm proof to check the box and put it to rest for good. In spite of the lack of personal connection now, Garret had continued to perform his DCPI duties with his usual thoroughness so Frank had been forced to accept the fact that his relationship with his former close staff member may have been altered for good… a fact that weighed heavily on his heart and was apparent to his other trusted assistant, Detective Abigail Baker, as she wandered over arm-in-arm with her date, Marc Walterson, to distract him. Baker was attired in a simple yet stunning sleeveless black and gold illusion dress that accented her classic lines and hair color to perfection and her boss offered a warm smile and firm handshake for her friend as he greeted them.

"Sir," she began the introduction. "I'm not sure if you remember, but this is Marc…"

"Walterson. We met at the Regency," Frank finished as his eyes twinkled. Baker's first encounter with the Reagan's beloved Jets football team placekicker had in fact come at an event at a hotel a few months back when he made the mistake of trying to push his way into an elevator with the Commissioner and a Senator at the last second as the doors were closing and found himself summarily taken to the ground and held at gunpoint by a very competent blond bodyguard who had obviously peaked his interest that day. "So nice to see you again," he advised as he shook the professional athlete's hand while still managing to tower over him with his intimidating six-four frame. "I'm glad the team had a bye week and you could join us tonight. Are you able to have a drink? Let me get you something at the bar. Did Abigail ever mention the fact that she's like a daughter to me…" he trailed off as he led the young man away to inflict a little fatherly 'if you hurt her, I'll hurt you' implied wisdom on his assistant's new beau.

Spencer had likewise been working the room as he waited for the bride and groom to return so he could perform his last official duty as Best Man and get that dreaded speech over with. While his handsome looks and boyish charm had certainly caught the eye of a number of interesting young ladies already, he still found himself drawn back to staring at Hailey from across the way and his once-staunch confirmed bachelor resolve was cracking a little as watching what Eddie and Jamie had together along with that little girl who now tugged at his heart so with her shrill "Uncle 'Pence" had him considering for the first time if maybe he should rethink the whole solitary existence thing on the West Coast. He was just about to wander over her way to explore that concept a little when Lillian signaled the DJ to request that everyone take their seats in the beautifully decorated hall and the wedding party began to reassemble as scheduled outside for the big introduction as the bride and groom had returned to the staging area with their little duckie and were ready for their debut as everyone looked on in anticipation.

"Alright everyone, let's have a big welcome for our former Commissioner and grandfather of the groom, Henry Reagan, accompanied by the lovely Linda Reagan, who apparently just reupped and renewed some vows herself. Let's hear it for Linda and her lucky husband, Danny, who will be out here in a minute on another woman's arm. Not sure how he managed that one but let's give the man props for having the guts to try," Dave Monroe, the aforementioned DJ and emcee announced as he got things started with Bill Conti's "Gonna Fly Now" theme from the movie "Rocky" playing in the background while cheers went up all around for the family patriarch as he came in beaming on his granddaughter-in-law's arm.

"Next up we have the Mother of the Bride, Eva Janko, escorted by one of our ushers, NYPD Sergeant Mark Wilson who I'm told is used to taking orders from a Janko woman on a regular basis, especially at meal break," he teased as a certain mommazilla even managed to crack a small smile at that since the pressure of the day was off and she started to loosen up with a cocktail or two of her own. Not wanting her mother to walk in alone, Eddie had trusted her partner Wilson with the key task and he had finally relented to her pleas, knowing that life with her on patrol would be impossible otherwise even as he admitted that Eva scared him more that his own maternal in-law.

"Now I'm sure a few of you might recognize the Father of the Groom, Commissioner Frank Reagan from somewhere, but no one's gonna be looking at him as all eyes should be on our very own Manhattan ADA Erin Reagan, sister of the groom, as we welcome them to the party tonight. Am I right, folks? How about that for a handsome couple?" he prodded as Frank and Erin swept into the hall on each other's arm once more, eager to kick back and relax in a room where there were few political potholes to worry about for the evening… a fact that Frank was completely grateful for as his youngest had chosen to duck the spotlight once more with a limited guest list.

"Here we have the beautiful bridesmaid and niece of the groom, Nicole Reagan-Boyle, escorted on either side by the handsome nephews and brothers, Jack and Sean Reagan. Better start saving up for a few more of these nights, Grandpa, I mean, sir," Monroe advised as he worked the mic effortlessly, as in addition to being a favored wedding DJ in the department he was also a dispatcher at Central and never failed to remain calm under pressure with a streak of standup comedy which endeared him to all the cops on the beat that trusted him to be there with help when needed. "We've got a good looking group of kids here and they'll be ready for this before you know it."

"Up next we have another pair of NYPD's finest… I'm telling you folks, this is not the wedding party to be messing around with. We have two Police Commissioners, two Sergeants, two tough-as-nails lady officers and a first grade detective in the bunch, and if they catch you, Erin will prosecute. Let's hear it for bridesmaid Kara Walsh and Detective Daniel Reagan, brother of the groom and the 'I re-do' man himself today!" he offered to another big round of cheers as Kara and Danny entered and took their places opposite each other at the end of the welcoming line.

"Finally, we have a pair of civilians with our lovely Maid of Honor Hailey Hennig and Best Man, Spencer Croft, who joins us all the way from sunny California. I've been advised that Spencer was kind of on the fence about making the long trip back here for this when our bride and groom asked until he heard he was being paired up with Hailey, at which point he offered to wash the corporate jet just to catch a ride out to see her. I'm kidding of course… he had to pay for the ticket, anyway. How about a big hand for this future couple and I'm told we'll be seeing a lot more of them later on tonight when the garter and bouquet starts flying," he suggested.

"Now a little birdie told me," Monroe started as he switched the intro music to the "Happy Ending" score from "Little Mermaid," a recently discovered mother-daughter favorite as Eddie's guilty pleasure DVD had been spotted by Kaylin while unpacking and had played virtually nonstop for weeks in the house since. "It seems that the best looking couple in the house had a minor disagreement about walking down the aisle a little while ago, but it seems like they've made up and are ready to give it another try. Put your hands together for our beautiful little Flower Girl and sometimes reluctant Ring-Bearer, Kaylin Reagan and Brandon Walsh!" he announced as the two little ones did manage to fulfill their prescribed roles this time and walk in together holding hands before stopping in their tracks to laugh and clap with excitement like everyone else, requiring a bit of help from Kara and Uncle Danny to clear the path for the final big entrance as the tiny pair sucked up the limelight together this time.

"I have one announcement before the big moment while everyone is still listening; our hosts for this evening, the Reagan family and the groom's godparents Tom and Lillian McPherson ask that you please enjoy yourself responsibly, but if needed transportation back to the city is available for anyone and considering the company we're keeping tonight that's a very good idea. Let's keep it safe people so no one in the wedding party has to go back to work, especially me," he added.

"Now, if everyone will please rise," Monroe preferenced as the lights dimmed except for above the doorway and in the middle of the dance floor. "Appearing for the first time in public… although after listening to these two go back and forth on the radio like a married couple for years, is anyone here really surprised?" he demanded as the whole room broke out into laughter. "I'm pleased to introduce our newlyweds Mr. and Mrs. J-a-m-i-s-o-n... R-e-a-g-a-n!..." he called out in his best fight announcer voice as the "Rocky" music returned and swelled to full volume and Jamie and Eddie navigated a pelting tunnel of sparkling confetti to emerge in the hall together sporting wide smiles as all the pressure was off and it was time to just sit back and enjoy the rest of the evening with friends and family. "Let's send them out to the dance floor to kick things off with their first number together as husband and wife this evening… a little something called "One and Only" by Adele."

"Oh my gosh, Jamie, that was so much fun!" Eddie laughed as the two paused for a kiss as demanded by the clanging silverware on glasses before walking out on the floor and facing each other to start their dance together. "Let's go back outside and do that all over again!"

" _You've been on my mind, I grow fonder every day,"_ he murmured in her ear as he drew her close and breathed in that favored French vanilla scent once more. While Eddie was practically bubbling over with excitement for the evening's festivities now that she managed to push aside her shock at their upcoming travel destination… "We'll talk," she had admonished with a short huff... Jamie instead found himself flooded with emotion and taking that whole "love you fiercely and loyally" part to heart as he felt an overwhelming urge to be close to her and well… there were about a hundred and fifty or so too many people in the room for that right now.

"Jamie, stop… _mmph,"_ he hushed her again with another insistent kiss as they swayed close together and it was obvious to her of course exactly what was on his mind. "You're so bad," she breathed as he relented a little and continued to hold her close with his head resting against hers.

" _God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go… You're the only one that I wanted…"_

"You know you're a terrible singer for a choir boy," she continued to tease as she looked back up at him with her eyes shining. "You never get the words right to any song…"

"Am not and take that back Mrs. Edit Katalin it's-about-time-I'm-a Reagan. I think you talk too much," he chided as she laid her head back down against his chest and listened to his heart beating while he rested his chin on top of her, oblivious to the flashbulbs and good-hearted whistles and catcalls going off around them. " _You'll never know if you never try… To forget your past and simply be mine…"_ he hummed.

"I've always loved you," she offered quietly as she drew him even closer. "From that very first night…"

"I know," he assured. " _I promise I'm worthy… To hold in your arms…"_

"Well, good… 'cause you're kinda stuck with me now," she kidded while savoring the moments, regretting the knowledge that soon it would be time to move on and let others into their little bubble. "There's really gonna be chocolate and champagne in Iceland? And we get to go swimming? Outside? For real?" she asked before looking up again after a long silent pause.

"Of course, only the best for you, lambchop," he promised with a twinkle in his eyes. He knew she was coming around to the idea if she was focusing on the food aspect and her precious three bikinis which had just jump started his thought process right back to where they had begun. "We travel around to a new place each day. There are hot springs at Deildartunguhver, thermal pools in Reykjaveík and the Blue Lagoon is in a lava field, it's always warm there…"

"Wait… hot lava?!… Like from an active volcano?!" she demanded as the song was coming to an end and he dipped her down unexpectedly once more to hush her protest and concede to the demands of their guests who were tingling on their glasses again since he was happy to oblige.

"You were the one that was harping on Hawaii," he reminded as he pulled her back upright and they made their way towards the bridal table. "What do you think those islands are made of?"

"Well yeah, but I guess I never really thought about it before," she admitted a little nervously before being nearly bowled over by the sudden onslaught of an energetic sugar-cookie fed three-year-old little girl.

"Mommy it was our music!" Kaylin bounced in happiness at the inclusion of her precious Little Mermaid theme as she was picked up and peppered with hugs and kisses by both parents. "And I threw the sprinkles at you! Grandpa said I just like Ariel and Daddy is Prince Eric! I want to dance too!" she squealed in delight.

"Grandpa is sure going to regret getting you hooked on those new high octane cookies while he watches you this week," Jamie laughed as he took the little girl from Eddie. "I promise sweetness, your prince will dance with you a little later tonight, okay? But first we have to pray with Pop Pop and Uncle Spence has to talk so we can let everyone else eat. What song do you want?"

"Kiss de Girl!" she exclaimed as she did just that on his nose. "What Horatio Thelonious Ignacious Crustaceous Sebastian the crab sings!" she prattled off as that little eidetic memory kicked in.

"You've got it, baby… and I'm pretty sure Uncle Spence looks even more like Prince Eric than Daddy does, don't you think? I bet you can get him to take you out for another song too," Jamie added with an evil grin on his face as he gave his former roommate a little shoulder shove on the way past him. "You know how the ladies love that."

"Gee, thanks, Jamers," Spencer grimaced as he pulled himself together for his assigned duties which included using his charismatic personality to emcee the small portion of the event before the meal and he nodded to Lillian as she approached and handed him the microphone to begin.

"Okay," he started as he tapped the mic. "I don't know how to get everyone's attention in this room without dialing 911, but I'm told I need to get things moving because the bride wants to eat. If you don't know me, my name is Spencer Croft and I'm Jamie's Best Man… well of course I am… and his former roommate at Harvard so I've got a few words of wisdom for him as he moves on to this next stage of his life. But first, Father McMurray had a prior commitment so in his place for the blessing we'll have the proud head of the family, Henry Reagan."

Henry had a wide satisfied smile as he stood up from his chair at the first round table and made his way up to the front, pausing to give his sweetheart Eddie a kiss as she was seated and to smack Jamie good-naturedly on the cheek. "We've all been waiting for this a long time, son," he acknowledged as he took the microphone. "So I'll get right to it."

"Lord Jesus Christ, we thank you for the food we will have tonight in celebration of Edit and Jamison's marriage and the bond they now share with our precious Kaylin Elizabeth who brings light into our lives every single day as we also welcome her Nagyanya and Mother of the Bride, Eva Janko into our family. We thank you for the love, guidance and support of our parents, spouses, family and friends… the ones who are here, afar and above. We thank you for making this day so enjoyable, and bless those that have worked hard to make it a success, especially our wonderful hosts Lillian and Tom McPherson. Thank you Lord for the freedom we have in our lives and the beautiful country we enjoy it in. Heavenly Father, we ask this blessing for all those present who give their lives in service to others and especially for the newly married couple, may they never find themselves back to back without love pulling them around into each other's arms. Amen."

Henry handed the microphone back to Spencer with a smile and a wave for the applause, and Jamie's good friend gathered himself before starting.

"Well, first I want to thank everyone on behalf of Eddie and Jamie for coming here to celebrate with them today. I know a lot of these speeches start with a story about how the bride and groom met, but I guess that's pretty obvious in this case, so instead I'll tell you about the first time I met the two of them together, because if it wasn't for me and a strict adherence to bro code we might not be here today. I came into the city for some business and was excited to see my good buddy again so I went to their precinct during the day to say hello and see the dude in his uniform with my very own eyes. Turns out being the Commish's kid has it's perks since he obviously got the pick of the prettiest partner…"

"That sure wasn't you, Renzulli," came a catcall from the back of the room as Jamie's former TO offered a choice comment back under the radar.

Spencer gave a small laugh before continuing. "Well, anyway… they were bringing in some sort of rabid chick who had just bitten Jamers and wanted to pee in the back of their squad car, so of course I took the opportunity while he was distracted to flirt with Officer Eddie, and later I got Jamie to ask her out for me and if you can believe it, we wound up on a double date at a bar playing beer pong with our lovely Maid of Honor Hailey here… This guy is so bad at that we had him hammered in no time, and it was so obvious to everyone _except_ these two that they were perfect for each other… I mean they were already arguing like a married couple by that point and I just couldn't do it… I couldn't bring myself to break the code, so Jamie ended up walking Eddie home while Hailey and I shared a cab, and well… the rest is history although it took them another couple of years for them finally to come to their senses, didn't it? I mean the boy here was the top of his law class at Harvard, but I seriously gotta wonder about him sometimes… if you all knew the bad influence I've been on mister goodie two-shoes over the years, but in this case I think I got it right. So let's raise our glasses, please..." he started.

"To our stunningly beautiful bride, Eddie, you look incredible today and thank you for saying yes to me and then going home with a different guy. This is the happiest I've ever been about getting dumped on a first date. To my good friend Jamison Reagan here, you look okay too and somehow over the last ten years that skinny guy who walked into our dorm room that first day became a brother from another mother to me, an only child, and now you've gone ahead and made me Uncle 'Pence to this gorgeous little girl… and I can't thank you enough for being a good influence on me. To one of the most beautiful and amazing relationships I've ever seen… I can only hope that someday I will find something that will fulfill me the way the two of you fulfill each other. Congratulations to you and your families on this wonderful day."

"Here, here," came the unanimous reply from the room and clinking of glasses.

###

"This has been the best day ever, but I've gotta get out of these shoes" Eddie sighed as she took Jamie's hand and led him back over to their table for a moment's rest to ditch the heels and switch over to some comfortable slippers before the next part of the festivities started and the tempo ramped back up as everyone finished their dinner. The traditional family dances had been kept rather low key since her father was not present and Mary was gone so Jamie had his moment with Kaylin before Erin had joined in as a surrogate and Eddie had shared some time with her mother. Now the pair had finished the obligatory meet and greet sweep of the hall and were ready to grab a few more seconds of dinner and sips of champagne while the slow music was still forefront before the fun really started.

"The food is fantastic," Eddie continued as she managed a few last bites of her horseradish crusted filet mignon with roasted acorn squash, sweet potato and leek gratin while Jamie had already finished his French breast of chicken with rosemary roasted asparagus, cherry tomatoes and twice baked polenta cake. She glanced over with concern though when she caught him staring off pensively. "Penny for your thoughts, lambchop… are you okay? Already having regrets?"

"No, of course not," he smiled back and reached over to give her hand a squeeze. "Not about us, anyway. Just thinking that Joe would have been running around by this point hounding everyone to finish up so he could drag Angie out on the floor for some kind of crazy new line dance or something… he loved stuff like that and he was always the life of the party, plus out of all of us, he was the only one that had any kind of rhythm," he laughed at the memories of his outgoing, good-natured brother. "Now she's off married to someone else with a baby and everything… and I feel like Joe missed out on all this."

"He's always with you, Jamie," Eddie consoled.

"I know, it's just hard to remember that at times like… this… oh, wow," he trailed off with a low whistle. "Now there's something I need to _forget,_ " he murmured as his eidetic memory clicked to overdrive as it burned an image permanently into his brain and she followed his shocked glance over to see Frank Reagan stepping up at his table and taking Eva Janko's hand to lead her out to the dance floor for what the DJ had purported to be the last slow number before things picked up. "Janko, please tell me I'm seeing things… no offense," he begged.

"Nooo, I know… well, you're right… it's _something else!"_ Eddie stuttered in agreement with a gasp, equally uncomfortable with the current vision of her mother laughing and smiling while dancing to OneRepublic's cover of "What a Wonderful World" at her new father-in-law's side. "I mean, I haven't seen her like that for ages… She actually looks… well, _giddy_... and OH… MY… GOD… Jamie! She's patting him on the back! Do you think she's _drunk?!_ I'm sure your dad was just being nice and all so she didn't sit there at the table all night since we really don't have family here…"

"Yeah, that's gotta be it," he interjected as he tore his eyes away from the sight and snatched her up to drag her off. "He's always… well he's always like that, right? He's just… he's just being a good host is all. Wants to make her feel welcome. C'mon, I can't watch anymore; we're going to the bar! I need a scotch after that; this champagne isn't gonna cut it!"

The rest of the evening passed with no further shockers as a good time was had by all while they danced and celebrated. According to plan, Hailey was the recipient of the tossed bouquet after it was knocked out of everyone's hands on the first try then landed at Kaylin's feet and she was quickly directed to perform the proper handoff. Spencer likewise grabbed the garter and Uncle Danny stepped in for his long-standing role to cover a certain little girl's set of light blue eyes before they could be corrupted by the resulting racy demonstration as the Best Man and Maid of Honor definitely took it to the extreme with a promise to follow up with one another later.

After that, things got a little rowdy until the bar emptied and the waitstaff prepped the tables for coffee and dessert tables for coffee and dessert. True to her word, Eddie enjoyed every second of smashing that raspberry-filled buttercream icing in Jamie's face and he was only too happy to return the favor. It took a while in the kitchen for the two of them to perform an adequate cleanup before it was time for things to wind down with the final dance and bid farewell outside before they departed for the hotel and their ultimate honeymoon destination alone. Nicki had preoccupied Kaylin after they'd said their goodbyes to the little girl privately inside so she wouldn't be upset with seeing them drive off. The rest of the remaining guests gathered as Jamie and Eddie made their grand exit from the reception and cheered for the successful celebration and their future together.

After a few minutes Frank turned to walk back inside the house with a nod to himself and a heavy, satisfied sigh... thoroughly at peace with how the last year had been wrapped up in a wonderful evening for Jamie and Eddie and the rest of the family, but there was one surprise left. He was just about to ask Lillian if she needed any help before calling it a night himself when she rushed up with a smile and tugged at his arm while motioning the rest of the Reagans and those behind him to be quiet and come quickly as the familiar strains of the Little Mermaid's "Kiss de Girl" theme wafted out softly from the hall once more where the DJ was still preparing to pack up his equipment. Once the group turned the corner and caught sight of the scene before them, there were muffled giggles and not a dry eye left remaining.

Kaylin and Brandon were standing cheek to cheek in the middle of the empty dance floor with their eyes closed swaying to the music and just about on the verge of collapsing in deep sleep on top of one another after their long busy day… she was still in her beautiful little white dress with braided up frilly blond curly pigtails and he with his coat and tie off now as the tails of his dress shirt were pulled out over the fallen suspenders of his tuxedo pants with shiny black patent leather shoes still on while the photographer was on her knees contorting herself frantically while trying to capture this perfect moment before it passed. As soon as the music ended though the pair stopped moving altogether, and it was Uncle Danny who was the first in for the rescue before either one nosedived in a heap.

"Alright Romeo and Juliet… or maybe it's Ariel and Prince Eric, whatever… let's break it up…" he chastised softly while grinning as he picked little Kaylin up and put her to his shoulder while Kara grabbed Brandon and did the same. "Move along folks… nothing left to see here…" he advised while waving off the crowd before leaning over gently to tousle the sleeping little boy's hair. "Better watch out kid, she's a Reagan now and no one, I repeat… _no one_ in this family is gonna be ready for _this_ again for at least another twenty-five years, got it? Not on my watch, anyway."

* * *

 _That sweet part at the end with Kaylin and Brandon actually happened with a little boy and girl at my wedding, but that impromptu rendezvous between Frank and Eva might just serve to conjure up some nightmares for our groom in the near future. Next, the final two chapters will wrap up this long epic installment with a few surprises of their own as we find out what Eddie thought of the honeymoon and who exactly will be forking out the dough for those steak dinners. Don't worry though, I won't keep you hanging as the details as the trip itself and several other key moments will be memorialized in a multi-shot Snapshot II starting immediately after this story concludes and thanks for sticking with it this long!_


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 57

"Oh, Reagan," Eddie sighed all aglow as she fell back on their bed and patted her delightfully full tummy which had been feeling rather tight the last few days. Nonetheless she had enjoyed herself immensely at dinner, the result of a bet won fairly when she had honestly declared the honeymoon to Iceland as the greatest trip of her life when prompted on their return, sending Danny and Henry to scrape out their wallets in an effort to pay up and make good on their wagers. "That was the best steak dinner I have _ever_ had in my _entire_ life!" she gloated with great satisfaction. "I've been craving it all week. That topped off with a dessert of double chocolate hand churned ice cream with creme de blackberry liqueur. Mmm hmm _yummy yum..._ even better when someone else is paying the bill and Kaylin's sleeping over at Grandpa's house for the night," she snickered as he purposefully ignored the conversation and began to undress her with a determined mind for something else to wrap up his birthday-eve date night now that they finally managed to make it home after getting stuck behind the late night crowds coming out of the theatre district. "Plus, we get to do it all over again when it's Pop's turn to settle up! Sparks is world-famous for steaks… I can't believe you went with the salmon so soon after we ate all that fish on the honeymoon. I mean it was so fabulous and fresh in Iceland but it's been almost three weeks since we got back and I think my gills are just starting to recede."

"I like seafood," Jamie sighed as he finished unbuttoning the top half of her blouse before growing frustrated with that as well and pulling it over her head instead only to deposit it inside-out on the floor next to her skirt and his pants as they made a trail into the room. "I wasn't sure we'd even get there tonight because you weren't hungry for waffles this morning… which, let's face it, _never_ happens… and right now I can't believe that you're still talking about food when we should be concentrating on so many other wonderful things," he moaned as he undid her bra before tossing that behind him too and sliding himself without hesitation up next to her to nuzzle her neck. "Unless you're making up for a lost breakfast and ready for round two, lambchop. Hmm? Maybe I need to try harder to take your mind off dinner and give you something else to remember. We had a lot of this on our trip too, didn't we? You didn't get tired of it then right?"

"Down, boy," she giggled before relaxing completely and giving into his probing touches once more as his fingers began softly to hunt for certain points over her body as he teased her towards readiness.

"What's the problem?" he murmured as he gently traced a line of sensuous wet kisses down each side of her neck until his lips met with and devoured the two soft prizes cupped in his hands. "You're my wife, I'm your husband and from what I've been told we're expected to do a lot of this now. I mean the family already has bets on when the newest little Reagan will be announced and we need plenty of practice before we get to that point, don't you think? Gotta get it right first."

"Hmm… definitely," Eddie agreed as his pace quickened and she forgot completely about what they had just been discussing... still she remained stubbornly more talkative at this point than normal as he paused for a few seconds to address a certain issue once more. "Are you sure you have it in you though, old man? That big 3-1 birthday is coming up tomorrow… well pretty much today since it's so late which means you've only got a couple of minutes to prove it. I've heard it's all downhill for men at that point while I'm just coming into my peak. Maybe I should have looked for a younger guy..."

"I'll do my best to keep up with you," he muttered as he hovered for a second before bringing his weight fully on top of her as his tongue sought out hers and he added a series of increasingly deeper and more demanding kisses in an effort to dispel this distracting chatter since he only had a mind for one thing now as the blood and passion coursed through them once more and both reveled in its release. "Now," he panted when they were done and he nudged the tip of her nose with his own. "Let's talk about that instead, hmm? That's a one-month anniversary present for you, Mrs. Reagan… still thinking about finding someone else?"

"Noooo… you'll do for now..." she sighed as he moved off once more to lay by her side with an arm wrapped protectively around her while pleasuring little endorphins remained chugging through her brain stream as the minutes past and she stayed there in utter contentment until she heard deeper breaths signaling her partner's departure into a most satisfied sleep. "One month," she whispered as she continued to enjoy his warm presence near her. "I can't believe it's been one month already," she sighed in happiness as she started to drift off herself until her eyes flew open with a start and she jumped up a little while letting out a quiet gasp which elicited nothing more than a small moan as Jamie retrieved his arm and rolled over to his side of the bed. One month… one flipping month since the wedding but _more_ than one month since something else happened that normally came like clockwork. _No wait, that couldn't be right!…_ she panicked a little as her brain rewound on high speed through the busy past few weeks. They had been careful, even on their trip… every single time without fail except for...

"Oh, crap… the damn boat and the tequila," she groaned as her head sank back down on the pillow and her eyes failed to close again for hours that night while she was left to wonder about which of the Reagans would win this bet if... as she now feared was a certainty... Jamie had been right all along about something he'd said months ago regarding their honeymoon… how if they didn't watch out before that they would have company with them... and now apparently they'd forgotten to do something important _one_ night and had...

...wound up with a little hitchhiker on the return trip after all.

And that particular someone was about to make their tiny presence known in a rather big, specific and telltale way for the coming months.

" _Indeed,"_ Eddie sighed as her mother's voice echoed through her head and her hand went back to her stomach which was now rolling for more than one reason.

###

"Eddie, sweetheart, are you alright?" Jamie worried as he caught the unmistakable sound of his wife retching a second time from the bathroom long before the light even dawned the next morning. "Honey, do you think it was something you ate last night?" he asked as he knocked softly at the door once again. "I feel fine so it must have been the steak. We didn't even drink that much because it was so insanely expensive. I mean don't worry about church or anything this morning if you're sick. Can I get you anything? Crackers or ginger ale?"

"Oh, I think you've probably given me plenty already," she muttered as she vacillated between hovering over the toilet and watching the clock as the longest three minutes of her entire life eked by… one hundred and eighty seconds to be exact... before she dared look at the little white and pink plastic stick laying there on the edge of the sink counter… the one she had always kept tucked away in her toiletries bag in the back of the closet for just such an emergency like this.

"Did you say something, Ed?"

"I said I'll be out in _a_ _minute,_ dear," Eddie called back nervously while chewing her fingernails as she watched the second hand creep around in a circle slowly one more time before it clicked up straight and she finally managed to whip up the courage to glance over to see if their entire life would be turned upside down once more.

Two solid, perfectly even dark lines in a big unmistakable plus symbol, as if that was even a remote surprise at this point.

"Oh boy… or girl," she sighed and pursed her lips and covered her mouth while shaking her head. "Well, happy birthday to you, Jamison Reagan, or would you rather just prefer to call him daddy from the get go little one?" she questioned with a hand on her tummy.

"Eddie, who are you talking to? Do you need help?" Jamie demanded as he paced on the other side of the door.

"No one, dear… just me, myself and… I... believe we have a situation, Harvard," she admonished quietly as she quickly put the test in her pocket before gathering up all the rest of the incriminating evidence and shoving it back in the box then hiding it in the closet once more.

"What? What is going on in there? I swear if I have to I'll use the key, Edit Katalin Reagan, now c'mon…"

"I'm fine," she revealed as she opened the door without warning while dressed in her cherished fluffy white robe… the one that matched her favorite slippers, and brushed by him with just a passing glance on the way back to go sit on the side of the bed, contemplating the right approach to spilling the surprising beans about… well, the little bean. In reality she knew when the shock wore off Jamie would be over the moon with the news, still it was unexpected and Eddie was at a loss for the right words herself at the moment. "What, um… so what are your plans today?" she inquired at first to buy some time to gather her thoughts.

"Me?" he stared back at her quizzically, already convinced something was up. "I told you yesterday that after church I was gonna drop you off at the house to help Erin make the meal and I was going to take your car and head out to the storage place to pick up those last few boxes and turn in the key before we eat dinner. The lease is up Wednesday, but I have to work tomorrow and the next and Kaylin's soccer team has their first game that night. I'm the coach… I've gotta be there. Why? Do you have somewhere else to go?"

"No reason," she hedged as she played with the frayed edge of the terry cloth belt before deciding to press ahead. "I was actually just thinking about that one time on our trip you know… when we spent the night in that beautiful cottage by the ocean with all the windows and we watched the Northern Lights…"

"Yeah, outside of Stykkishólmur after we went sailing out to the the Snæfellsnes Peninsula with the schooner," he recalled with perfect Nordic pronunciation and great satisfaction as a lifelong quest to take to the water in one of those ancient wooden two mast sailing vessels had finally been realized. "It was fantastic... one of my favorite parts of the whole tour… well, the first half anyway before the storm came up and it got rough on the bay, but what does that have to do with anything?" he puzzled as he sat next to her and grabbed her hand.

"Yes… that's the one," Eddie smirked as despite spending ten days in Iceland, the regional terms still failed to roll off her tongue. "Well, you know after being seasick for a while there at the end of the afternoon I wasn't very happy when we got stranded by the main road that night by that downed tree in the driveway and had to walk all that way to get to the house in the pouring down cold rain. We had to leave most of our luggage behind in the trunk, right?"

"Copy that," Jamie recalled that vast understatement. "I remember... I just shoved a few things in my knapsack and followed along while you kicked at every tree on the path we took in, which honestly is kind of ironic, lambchop… because there are hardly any on the whole island. Only approximately 1.4 percent of the total landmass of Iceland is covered by..." he added before being interrupted while spouting off his carefully studied facts.

" _One_ tree," Eddie emphasized. "I kicked one tree…"

"...and broke your heel."

"And broke the heel of my very most favorite cutest pair of zip-up boots!" she moaned. "And then when we got to the house the electric was off because of the snapped power line and the storm."

"But I saved the day with the fireplace," he countered. "That warmed us right up… that and the bottle of tequila we picked up at the duty free shop," he smiled as he thought about the remainder of that wonderful evening which had been spent rather naked under a pile of soft blankets on the floor by the fireplace drinking and gazing up through a bank of clear two-story windows while the Northern Lights put on an incredible display after the rain cleared and the rest of their clothes dried out.

"Yes, O Great Eagle Scout… you managed to start a fire and pack the tequila, thank God," she agreed as they were getting closer to the point of this meandering reminiscing tale, and but for that skill and the bottle it was likely that Jamison Reagan would have found himself locked out in the cold that night as his Eddie bear had been less than amused by that point. "You remembered to be prepared for all that, but there were a few things I think we forgot…" she left him hanging with a suggestive tone and a raised eyebrow as she watched the wheels in his brain start to spin.

"It was good stuff…" he offered as he frustratingly failed at first to follow the thorough trail of breadcrumbs she had managed to lay out. For a genius this sure was taking a while, so she tried leading him forward again on a more direct path.

"That night," she started once more, looking down. "That night we were... in Stick.. Stickie…"

"Stykkishólmur. Eddie, how can you listen to your mother speak Hungarian all those years and not be able to pronounce these words. That one is so easy, I mean I just don't get it..."

"Look, my phrasebook had five different ways to say _hello_ to a man and five variants on that for greeting a woman, HARVARD," Eddie griped as she was losing her patience. "It came right out and said that the vowels and consonants change pronunciation based on their position in the word and wherever the hell on the map you happen to be standing when you say them! NOW CUT IT OUT AND LISTEN! That night we were in _Stickie-shul-muhr_ or wherever the hell it was… when we were drinking in the living room by the fireplace…" she pointed out forcefully as she was not interested in taking a sideroad any further. Jamie's head was spinning now; none of this was making any sense. What did that crazy night have to do with anything here he wondered, and why were they sitting on the bed reliving this at four o'clock in the morning?

"That night, when we were... you know... and then we... well, actually I'm sure it was more than once..." she stopped and looked him in the eye. "Did you?"

"DID I WHAT?" Jamie shouted in frustration. Something was obviously very wrong, and he wanted to get to the bottom of it now. "Edit Katalin Reagan! What the hell are you trying to say? Did I..."

She blinked as a small smile lit up her face while she was biting her lip and her eyes started to shine.

"Oh," he stopped as the world spun and all the blood rushed from his face. "I mean, _oh crap!…_ " Jamie leaned back, still holding her hand as he searched his normally infallible recollection. "Well I honestly don't remember," he whispered in a shaky breath. "Was it that time? What are we talking about here then, Ed?... You're late, _right?_ That's where you're trying to go with all this? Why couldn't you just come out and say _that_ instead of everything else about the lights and the damn boat and the fireplace _?_ I mean was that whole intro part really necessary? Do I need to run out to the drugstore and get something?" he verged on hyperventilating after he got all that out in one breath.

Without another word Eddie pulled out that little white and pink plastic stick from her pocket and showed it to him. "Already done. Two lines makes a plus, Papa Reagan... unless you have a better explanation for this birthday surprise?"

"A baby?" he gasped and went silent in shock for a moment before he laughed in amazement as he stared at the positive test for a few more seconds while processing the news and reaching over to pull her close for a kiss. His heart began to thud out of his chest and he bounced with elation in his seat on the bed like a certain favored three-year-old. "You're pregnant? For real? Eddie… honey, we're gonna have a _baby?_ Kaylin's gonna be a big sister? Already? You're sure?"

"Well, whoa there cowboy! Geez, Reagan... slow yourself down. I have to go to the doctor first and get checked out before we get too excited or tell anyone… but yeah… I'd say that's probably what it means…" she laughed in relief at his childlike reaction. Jamison Reagan was still very much a kid at heart which is one of the things she loved most about him and why little ones flocked to him like a magnet. "That and the fact the little bugger made me give up almost all of that steak dinner already this morning. Figures your tiny hatchling would have something against good beef."

"Hatchling…" Jamie huffed as he remembered a previous debate with his daughter. "Oh, no please don't use that term for it in front of Kaylin or we're gonna end up with a bunch of ducks in the bathtub," he warned. "I'll never be able to get that past her if we're allowed to have one."

"Spawn?" she countered. "You're the one that likes fish so much."

"How about just good old-fashioned plain healthy human baby," he offered with another wide smile as he hugged her once more and leaned over to kiss her belly. "I like the sound of that, don't you kiddo? Well, except that you probably can't hear me just yet..." he contemplated deeply before beaming with a final thought. "And you're right, we should probably wait awhile to share the news, but I wonder who won the bet?"

"Oh, Jamie, please," Eddie sighed as she held his hand over her tummy. "Your family will take one look at you today at dinner and know exactly when to plan the baby shower for… you have a terrible poker face, but we'll keep it quiet for everyone else… _especially_ my mother at least until we know everything is okay, alright? Now promise?"

"Promise!" he agreed as he failed to contain himself and bounced once more. "This is the best birthday present, ever! I love you so much Edit Katalin soon-to-be-a-mommy-again Reagan!"

* * *

 _These last chapters are two of my favorites from the whole story! Coming up in the ending we will finish out this installment appropriately with one more Reagan family Sunday dinner which happens to coincide with Jamie's birthday and the great baby reveal! Does it get any better than that? Is there any doubt now who won the bet? And finally, one last character from the first series will make a reappearance and set us up for the next piece._


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter 58

"So where's Harvard?" Danny asked as he spotted Eddie in the kitchen alone with Erin as she was preparing a vegetable dish for dinner. "He wasn't in church this morning either. What? Did he tie one on last night using my hard-earned public servant's dollars?" he sniffed. "Took me nearly a week of overtime to make good on that bet you know, Janko. I'm not gonna forget that."

"Nope, he was up early this morning and couldn't get back to sleep so he went to the seven o'clock mass," Eddie revealed with a carefully concealed smile as her poker face was definitely proving to be a harder read for the rest of the family and she desperately wanted to preserve the surprise until Jamie arrived. "I was a little out of it that early and afterwards he decided to run over to the storage place by himself to close out the unit and turn in the keys while they still had office hours this morning. Should be back any minute," she added as she turned to the sink to wash the greens for the parmesan celery salad recipe on tap for a debut today.

"Uh huh," Danny eyed back suspiciously as he had come to know her well in the short time they had been forced to shelter together and there was something deceptive in her tone that he was picking up on. "You buying this, sis?" he looked towards Erin and tried to draw her into the conversation.

"What... that Jamie went to church early or that he's cleaning out his storage unit?" she questioned with a frown. "Slow week at work?" she countered. "Nicki went to the library yesterday to study, gonna find something divisive about that?"

"Sure, if I was expecting she'd be here early with bells on just to rub it in… especially on her birthday."

"You, my older brother have too much time on your hands and an ever-present guilty conscience that you project onto everyone else," Erin sighed as she pulled the packages of rolls out of the refrigerator and began to put them on a cookie sheet to bake.

"Somebody in this family has too much time on their hands?" Frank asked as he wandered into the room and conversation. "Because I have gutters that could be cleaned."

"No one in this family has time for the gutters, Dad," his son replied with a roll of the eyes.

"Well, I know that you're not talking about Jamie anyway, what with all those commitments he has with the EDP Commission," his father countered. "He's going to DC with Rick in December to attend a roundtable panel discussion with the House Armed Services Committee regarding the joint NYPD/FDNY guidelines being developed for officers and emergency personnel when they encounter members of the military in distress. They've been working on that presentation for months now."

"Plus he's in charge of Kaylin's new Police Athletic League Blue Shieldz soccer team," Eddie added proudly as if it deserved equal billing in the national spotlight which of course it did in her eyes since the little girl was her pride and joy and it sparked her own competitive nature. "They play twice a week… she loves it and there are nine other three- and four-year-olds that hang on him at every practice. It's so cool to watch… he's the only coach that can hold their attention in that age group. You ought to see the chaos all over the rest of the field with the other teams. We have our first game this week on Wednesday at six over at Sunset Park if anyone wants to come watch."

"I'll be there!" Nicki enthused. "I can't wait to see my little cutie-pie Kaylin Reagan… superstar number 22 kicking some butt! Remember, I'm the one that bought her those sparkly pink cleats for her birthday! Go girl power!"

"Terrific, he's a world-class soccer mom _and_ GI Joe's best friend now too," Danny grumbled. As much as he admired the progress the EDP Commission was having, military insights were kinda his thing as far a he was concerned and he was a little irked that his ivy-league college attending little brother was getting plaudits for his work from the top brass in Washington when he had never worn a uniform and fought for his country's flag on foreign soil in the first place… not to mention the fact that Jamie hadn't so much as asked for his help in the matter, relying completely on his former Marine buddy Rick Fellows for advice and collaboration on that front.

"Didn't his rookie partner talk him into running in some kind of marathon next year too?" Linda asked as made her way in the kitchen to see what everyone was up to. "She was chattering away about it for hours when they were babysitting a perp in the ER a few weeks ago. Looked like she had finally worn him down by the time they left. What's her name again? God, that girl can talk the paint right off the wall. I don't know how he puts up with it in a car all day long."

"Annabel Anderson," Eddie smirked as she considered the fact that Jamie had years of experience dealing with a talkative sidekick on tour. "And yes, she's very passionate. She's recruiting runners for the St. Jude Rock 'n' Roll Nashville Marathon for the first of May. Her little cousin was treated there, so she's trying to get a bunch of NYPD officers involved to raise money through sponsorships… they even call them heroes and a lot of first responders go dressed in costume for the kids," she laughed. "Jamie figures that gives him enough time to work up to that distance, and we'll just take a vacation to Nashville with Kaylin at the end of… April..." she trailed off in a nearly silent "Oopsie," as she did some mental math and a glimpse at what she might resemble by that date and the fact that there would probably be no long-distance traveling at that point flashed through her brain.

"Pardon?" Frank asked with narrowed eyes he caught a hint of a tone that immediately captured his interest.

"Oh, nothing," Eddie covered as she cleared her throat and hurried back over to her salad before blowing out a small breath while trying to hide from her father-in-law's direct gaze as she sensed it was still on her even with her back turned.

"Gee, will he have enough time to get his cape fitted before then?" Danny asked with dripping sarcasm.

"I always thought patrol officers deserve capes with our uniforms," Eddie quipped as she stirred her salad and peeked out the window nervously, hoping to spot Jamie arriving. She had told him not to worry, that she could handle an hour or so with his family without blowing their little bitty secret, but things were starting to fall apart and she knew they would be on her like a pack of hungry Irish wolfhounds soon.

"You have a problem with your brother now?" Frank frowned as he turned his attention to his oldest son while still keeping an interested eyebrow on his new daughter-in-law who was definitely raising suspicion with her actions.

"Danny thinks that Jamie is hiding something because he went to church early and he's knocking things off his to-do list on his birthday," Erin reported to her father as she pulled out the big crock of bubbling hot macaroni and cheese from the oven along with a spiral-cut ham, two of her little brother's favorites. "He better show up here soon though or he's gonna miss out on this if Pop and the kids get to it first," she smiled as she took the oven mitts off.

"Is that mac and cheese I smell?" Henry called out on cue from the dining room before making his way into the kitchen to join the rest of the Reagans. "It's Jamie's birthday… that means it's a special occasion so I get to eat what I want. Please tell me it's not Danny's version with that canned spray imitation crap," he demanded as the rest of the room chuckled.

"No, Pop, it's the good stuff," the oldest sibling sighed as he walked to the sink to wash up, knowing for as long as he lived he would never be allowed to forget that major culinary faux pas, not in this family anyway. "Only the best for our Jamison," he muttered as he watched his brother pull up along side of the house in Eddie's new crossover, a sad concession to family life as her fancy shmancy silver sports car had been traded in for something more practical and car seat friendly months ago. "Well, here comes the birthday boy now, right on time. Wonder if he's expecting a surprise?" Danny offered as he was drying his hands.

 _Boy, he got one of those already today,_ Eddie snickered to herself and did her best to bite back a smile as she waited expectantly for Jamie to burst through the backdoor with that trademark goofy grin on his face which would take the pressure off her and leave the whole family guessing as to the reason behind it until the news was spilled. Instead her face fell as he walked in looking somewhat pale and a little shaky, and nothing like the ecstatic happy husband that had been bouncing up and down on the edge of the bed a few hours earlier.

"Well, speak of the devil, we were just talking about you…" Erin started until she took a good look at him. "Jamie, what's the matter?" she asked with concern as she watched him walk in. "I was gonna say happy birthday, but you look like you've seen a ghost."

"Oh," he stuttered at her choice of words. "Ah… it's nothing," he managed to brush off with a warmer smile although his sister would have no idea of how accurate her observation had been that day as he tried to bluff his way out of it. "I guess old age is just catching up with me like Eddie said… I swore I saw something impossible when I was driving back here, but it was just my head playing tricks on me after a long week I guess," he shrugged. "You know how it is when you have your mind on other things," he joked as he nudged Eddie and that pure impish grin and the light in his eyes returned as he managed to talk his brain into believing what he said was true… that there was no possible way that blue 71 Chevelle SS he had passed on the road coming out of the storage facility could have been the same one he had inherited from his brother Joe so many years ago and then sold for parts after he'd smashed it into that concrete barrier by the river the night Sonny Malevsky had the brake lines cut in an effort to kill him. Still, he swore that car almost had a soul of its own that he was intimately connected to, and if he hadn't been running late to get back here with such big news and known better, he might have turned around to check…

Fortunately, or rather unfortunately, depending on how one looked at it in the months ahead, Jamie's momentary diversion over the old classic's sighting was soon trumped and pushed aside by a distinctive rise in the surrounding temperature as he was immediately put on the hot seat… a moment in time that would serve to change the course of their lives and come back to haunt them all.

"So what's on your mind that's so distracting?" Frank asked with intent and a hint of a smile in the present as he pursed his lips and the rest of the Reagan ears in the room popped up in interest.

"With me? Nothing!" Jamie smirked with a nervous laugh that was akin to leaving chum in the water off the coast of Seal Island in South Africa and his focus was drawn to the inevitable great white feeding frenzy headed his way now. "Um, where's Kaylin, dear?" he begged off on Eddie as he swallowed hard and cleared his throat while pulling her around to face him for a sitrep and an obligatory kiss. "Haven't seen sweetness since yesterday."

"Playing match cards with Jack and Sean in the sunroom," Eddie reported as she stood on her tiptoes with her hands around his waist and gave him a peck. "Save yourself," she mouthed silently with a gleam in her eye.

"Oh, well, is that mac and cheese, Erin?" he tried anyway as he looked back up over his wife's shoulder, knowing their fate was sealed and they weren't getting out of the kitchen alive with their secret intact, but determined to make it past the two minute mark for pride's sake. "Sure, um, smells good."

"Can it, buster," his sister retorted with a fixed glare as smiles began to break out on everyone else's faces as they caught on. "Now spill."

"Okay, well…" he hemmed before spinning Eddie back around and using her and his unborn child as human shields as he backed himself up against the counter like a cornered perp with a hostage. "I mean since you asked and all… Eddie and I…" he started as his hands slipped down to cover her belly and a grin spread over his face. "Well, it sort of looks like we…"

"I KNEW IT!" Erin squealed as she jumped up and down and clapped her hands. "You're having a baby, RIGHT?! You all said I was crazy… that it was too soon when I picked Thanksgiving, but who's laughing now?" she demanded of everyone else as she looked around the room while Jamie and Eddie's big smiles confirmed the happy news. "HA! I WON! Whoever has the closest date without going over… those were the rules! Pay up, suckers! Fifty bucks a pop!"

"Is this true, Jamison Reagan?!" Henry demanded more gruffly than expected with that trademarked perp in the bullseye look locked on his grandson that instantly drew silence once more around the room.

"Well, um… yes… uh, it sure looks that way, sir," Jamie nervously replied as he once again found himself the uncomfortable recipient of that stare while he was left to wonder what was provoking this. "I mean we weren't gonna say anything until she's been to the doctor to get it confirmed, but the test this morning said so, and there's no hiding anything from this family so…" he trailed off.

"HA YOURSELF THEN, MISSY!" Henry thundered as he pulled a piece of paper down from the top of the refrigerator and slapped it on the table in front of Erin. "Read it and weep, little girl! Who's John Hancock is that next to October and Jamie's Birthday on the list? HMM? IT'S MINE!" he cackled with great glee. "And you all call yourselves Reagans!" he chastised as he scanned the room. "Any one of you with half a detective bone in your body could have put two and two together with a romantic trip, a few wooden boats, the Northern Lights and…" he questioned knowingly.

"Tequila," Jamie and Eddie admitted shamefully in unison as they bowed their heads down.

"Not even _scotch!"_ he scoffed. "What kind of Irishman are you?" Henry tutted in surprise as he frowned and shook his head before breaking out in a big smile once more and walking over to them for a big embrace. "Congratulations, kids. You've just made an old man's heart sing. I can't wait to hold another great-grandbaby."

"So happy for you, sweetheart," Frank whispered as he followed and hugged Eddie tight before turning to Jamie with a wide grin and pulling him in by the back of the neck for a hug and kiss on top of the head. "What a nice birthday present… your mom would be so proud of you, son. I know she's smiling right now."

"Thanks, Dad," Jamie choked out as he returned the affection.

"Little brother, you're gonna drive me to the poorhouse soon if I keep losing these bets," Danny griped as he slapped his and Linda's forfeited cash down on the table with a flippant eye towards his grandfather before walking over to offer his best wishes to the happy couple. "Don't know what I was thinking picking Easter," he grumbled as he hugged Eddie. "And remember I warned you about those genes, too," he laughed. "Guess I'm gonna have to brush up on my babysitting skills."

"Danny Reagan changing a diaper, now that's something I'd like to see," Linda followed, shaking her head. "Lord knows it would be a first," she chided.

"Hey, that's not fair… I took care of Jack and Sean when they were little," he grouched back.

"You had the neighbor, old lady Barnes, come over and spot you," his wife revealed as she ruined his cover. "Don't think she didn't tell me you paid her, and your idea of doing it alone in an emergency was to take the dirty one off, toss it out the window, hose the kid off in the kitchen sink and wrap 'em up in a towel until I got home."

"Ew, how _gross_ is that, Uncle Danny?!" Nicki grimaced at that image.

"Ugh, you are so not watching my kids alone, _ever,_ " Jamie practically gagged as he envisioned having to scrub and disinfect the entire house after that point.

"How are you doing?" Erin asked as she hugged Eddie and ignored her brothers. "What made you check?"

"I um, well obviously… didn't feel so well this morning," she shrugged. "I was a little off the past couple of days or so, but never thought anything about it. Jamie reminded me I missed something last night when we got home by saying it was our one-month anniversary, and so I decided to be sure… and then after, well we counted back to one sort of crazy night on the trip when all our plans got messed up and everything just happened so we kind forgot to do something," she smirked. "You know how it goes."

"Boy, do I ever," Frank muttered as he thought back to that Valentine's Day with Mary more than 31 years ago now when a little Jamison Reagan was conceived with the help of a bottle of his namesake Irish whiskey in much the same fashion.

"You're okay, though?"

"Yes," Eddie sighed and nodded. "I mean it's a little soon, and we weren't planning it yet… Right now I'm kinda scared and overwhelmed, but yeah. I guess it'll really sink in later once I know that everything is good. I've gotta find a new doctor down here somewhere first. I don't want to drive uptown all the time."

"Dr. Geisner at St. Vic's is the very best, trust me," Linda offered with a hug. "Use my name when you call and Nancy at the desk will get you right in; she moonlights with me in the ER sometimes. Oh, I'm so thrilled for you, Eddie!"

Any further thoughts on the matter were interrupted by a happy little girl skipping into the room. "Daddy!" she shouted as she was quickly scooped up by Jamie while Eddie held a finger up to her mouth. While they knew it would be impossible to keep the news from the adults, they had both agreed not to attempt to explain the situation to Kaylin until things were a little further along and more solid. "I won every time!" she cried. "I beat Jack _and_ Sean!"

"Twice," Danny's oldest admitted as the two brother's followed her into the room. "Is it time to eat yet? Why is everyone standing in the kitchen? I'm starving. Is that mac and cheese?"

"We were just about to put it out on the table when we got sidetracked," Erin admitted. "C'mon, let's go eat. We've got a few things to celebrate for Jamie's birthday and a Junior's chocolate dream cheesecake to put the candles on for dessert," she smiled. "Besides, you're gonna love my gift this year, little brother. Wait until you see, it's perfect… I knew you would be needing one soon, and it's especially important now if Uncle Danny comes over," she snickered as she tapped the top of the colorfully wrapped tall box sitting in the corner. "Think of it as a sausage-maker for poopy nappies," she revealed, referring of course to a diaper genie.

"A _what_ for poopy _what?!_ Oh, God, I don't think I'm hungry anymore," Jamie moaned.

"Ooh... c'mon, you don't even have to open it… we've got months to get used to that kind of stuff. Just think, macaroni and cheese, ham plus Junior's chocolate, Mmm hmm _yummy yum!_ " Eddie smacked her lips and gave Kaylin and Jamie both a kiss as the room emptied out. "I think me and the munchkin here are craving some of that. Hey, wait," she pulled his arm before he could leave. "What was wrong when you first got here? I saw that look, are you worried about…"

"Nothing," Jamie smiled as he put Kaylin down and watched her run into the dining room. "It was stupid, like I said… it had absolutely nothing to do with this," he assured as he put his hand on her belly and drew her in for another kiss. "I saw an old car on the road like Joe used to have. That's all… maybe it was just a sign from him that he's thinking about me today. He would have been the very best uncle, you know," he said as he choked up a little and wrapped his arm around her. "I love you so much Edit Katalin soon-to-be-a-mommy-again Reagan! Let's go celebrate with our family now."

-fin-

* * *

 _Well that finally wraps up this long, rambling story. Thanks for staying with it until the end! Of course all of you who've read "Resurrection" know the significance of that blue car at the storage unit. Yup, Mason Malevsky is poised to make an evil return in the next installment, and like everything else in this second series things will work out a bit differently as a split-second's worth of timing will turn it completely around almost from the beginning. Please look for "Resurgence" when it is completed. That one will pick up a few weeks after this point near Thanksgiving, and it will feature almost the entire cast of werks-world favorite OC characters as they pull together for a common cause while Jamie and Eddie prepare for their latest addition, including our rescue buddy Rick Fellows who will play a larger role in the action this time and might even get a cute redheaded love interest of his own._

 _Before anyone gets antsy, I will also be posting some follow up chapters from this story in the "Snapshots II" collection. First, starting Monday there will be a three-part multi-shot with the honeymoon in Iceland of course, silly! I'll go out of order just because I know you guys are all dying to know how this little oopsie really happened. Then every week or so I'll add another as I work on the next installment which is roughly outlined but far from complete. There's a multi-shot piece covering that tragic time of Mary's loss, Jamie's makeup with Renzulli, and a few others. Some possibilities include Kaylin finding out she'll be a big sister, her first soccer game and of course mommazilla Eva Janko needs to be told about her newest unoka. I may even throw Eddie's papa Armin in there for one as well, and we need to find out what Linda thinks of her scrapbook! PM or leave suggestions in the reviews and I'll try to work in as many as possible!_

 _Also, (sorry, I'm being long-winded today) I must admit I've been a little suprised at the overwhelmingly positive response to the Linda/Danny story line in this one and the requests to carry it further baby-wise. Personally, I kinda saw them as being done in that regard and had not planned to explore that, but now I might just reconsider working with it in some fashion. See! Your reviews and comments matter! They were such a great couple in the first years of the show, but the whole post-shooting hodgepodge in season 6 had me honestly hoping she would leave one way or another, lol. Rest assured though, Danny and his family will be a big part of the next story and maybe a few snapshots._

 _And thanks again for all who have read, reviewed, fav'd and favorited! You guys as always are flippin' awesome!_


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